December ended without consequence, my sister and I using the time I had off to reconnect. I still refused to indulge the information of my condition to anyone. The new year began and the season was going to start up in a week.

()

I heaved into the basin, gripping the edges tightly with both hands while I waited for the nausea to pass. I stood shakily, wiping my mouth. I wish the pregnancy wasn't so draining. I yawned and changed into a suitable gown for the weather before leaving my room. I locked the door behind me before heading to the stage. Rehearsals hadn't resumed yet, but there was something calming about the theater that I needed. I sat on the edge, swinging my legs slightly as I stared out over the sea of red velvet seats.

"No thoughts within her head but thoughts of joy," I sung softly. "No dreams within her heart but dreams of love."

I saw something flicker out of the corner of my eye and I glanced up at the balcony boxes. They were all empty, but I knew I had seen something- someone -moving up there.

I laid back on the stage and blew air out of my mouth in irritation.

"What are you doing?" Alice had stepped onstage, a costume folded over one arm.

"Trying to feel okay." I murmured, glancing up at her. "You?"

"Just doing some repairs to Rufus' costumes." Alice shrugged. "I thought I heard something out here."

"Well, it's just me." I murmured, folding my hands over my stomach as I stared up into the catwalks.

"Alanna," Alice set her costume said and say beside me. "Are you alright?"

"Dandy." I said dryly. "I don't really want to talk, Alice. Because if I talk, I'll cry, and I can't do that right now."

We sat in silence for a time before Alice stood, patting me on the shoulder. "I can still find that man if yours and give him a good beating if you'd like."

"Thank you for the offer, but I'll pass." I murmured. "Thanks, though."

I unlocked my door, glancing around before opening it. It was a habit I developed when Erik and I first began seeing each other. I ground my teeth and shut my dressing room door behind me.

"Alanna?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard Erik's voice. I spun and saw him standing there, his face meek and eyes hooded. He looked as though he were sleep deprived. I haven't seen him since mid-November, and it was shocking to see him appear before me now.

"What do you want?" I snapped, trying to calm myself.

"I want to apologize." He said. "May I speak?"