"You've put me in a difficult position, Alanna,"
"I know," I murmured. I stood with my hands folded behind my back.
"Look," Velluae said, leaning over his desk. "I really like you, Alanna. You're an amazing singer and are helpful. But I can't overlook this. There is only so much a costume can do to hide your condition once you enter the third trimester. Then, there is the very obvious fact that you are unmarried. It is very inappropriate and bad for the opera's image if the press got wind of this." He settled back in his chair. "Once the season starts back up again, you have until I can find your replacement. Which will be difficult, considering you were a replacement." He scratched his head. "I wish you didn't force me into this situation, Alanna."
I didn't respond. What could I say, anyway?
He sighed heavily, running a hand through his white hair. "You're dismissed, Alanna."
()
I looked out into the falling snow as I mounted my horse. My hips weren't where they were supposed to be and it took me a few tries. I wasn't accustom to the changes that were happening to my body still. I kicked my horse into motion, powdery snow spraying from beneath the horse's hooves. The snow stung my face but I didn't care. I just wanted to get away. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to wonder if taking Erik back was really the right decision.
My horse whinnied impatiently as the road ended, branching off onto a dirt road that had recently been tamped by hooves. I jerked the horse's reins, leading her down the dirt road. Mist rose from her nostrils as she ambled along, breathing heavily from the run I had kept her at. I patted her neck and blew air onto my hands, trying to bring feeling back to my numbed fingers. There was a wide river that divided the road ahead, covered in a thin sheet of ice. Once again, my horse hesitated, waiting for a command before crossing the rickety wooden path. I encouraged her on, ignoring the cold. She stopped in the middle of the bridge, dancing backwards nervously.
I was frustrated with the mare, trying to urge her on. The wood creaked dangerously beneath us and I tried to calm her, desperate to get off the bridge. The wood snapped and I was flung into the air as the mare bucked wildly, fear taking over. I landed hard on my back, the air ripped from my lungs. I gasped for breath as I tried to push myself up, my hands encountering something hard and cold. I heard the nervous winy of my horse from across the river. I had been thrown onto the ice. I took in a breath, thankful that the force of the fall hadn't caused the ice to break. I go to my feet shakily, trying to make each move slow and deliberate.
The ice below me cracked and splintered, plunging me into the freezing depths of the river. Despite the sheet of ice cover its surface, the river still rushed beneath the ice, sweeping me along with it. I couldn't see, freezing needles stabbing my skin over and over as I tumbled aimlessly through the water. I had to find air. I had to resurface. I hit something hard and I was able to brace my legs against it. Precious seconds ticked by as I tried to find my bearings, trying to figure out up from down. My head encountered something and I knew it was the ice. My lungs were screaming, demanding air. I pounded the ice desperately, my reflexes kicking in as my mouth opened to take in air. Water rushed into my lungs and everything began to face. The impact of my fists became weaker and weaker. The world was fading, I was drowning.
I was vaguely aware of something breaking through the ice and grabbing me around the middle. Something dragged me out of the water, pulling me up on the river bank. I coughed weakly, trying to expel the water from my lungs.
"You're alright, you're okay," My vision was returning as my brain received the oxygen I was desperately pulling into my lungs. A shivering Erik materialized before me, just as soaked as I was. His mask was gone and he was staring intently at me, breathing heavily.
"Erik?" I said hoarsely. My vocal cords felt frozen.
"It's me, love." He said, taking my face in his hands. "It's me,"
His face disappeared as darkness consumed me.
