2. Promises and Pain
~ Merlin ~
Merlin was no stranger to rude awakenings.
Over his years as Arthur's servant he had been subject to more than a few creative wake up calls, usually when found snoozing on the job after staying up all night saving Arthur or Camelot in someway. And they almost always involved something being thrown at his head.
So as far as wake up calls went, a bucket of cold water in the face was not the worst he had suffered. Yet it was by no means pleasant either, jolting him awake with a gasp that had his whole body twisting in a very unsuccessful attempt to avoid the offending liquid.
Merlin let out a low groan as his body protested against the sudden movement, multiple aches and pains making themselves known. He wondered what had he been doing before he fell asleep that made him feel like horses had trampled him but the answer was elusive. His head was pounding and his mouth was uncomfortably dry making concentrating on anything, then how terrible he felt, much harder than usual. The last thing he wanted to do was open his eyes but he just knew Arthur would resort to more drastic measures if he didn't show some signs of wakefulness.
Grudgingly he cracked his eyes open, blinking a few times to clear them of water, before his vision was clear enough to allow him to glare at Arthur. He opened his mouth to insult him in some creative way, but the words died in his throat as his brain caught up with what he was seeing.
Morgana stood before him, wearing a twisted shadow of a smile, holding a now empty bucket in her hands. Any lingering drowsiness and confusion dissipated as he lurched into full wakefulness, his mind immediately on high alert as he assessed his current situation.
He was in a small shack of some kind, poorly constructed and in serious need of repairs. The ceiling was low and the floor made of compacted earth. Rickety shelves lined the walls and a table was set up in the middle of the floor, not far from a stone hearth that held embers from a dying fire.
He would have taken the chance to look around further but was hindered by the ropes that bound his wrists painfully above his head, securing him to a rather sturdy beam of wood that did not seem likely to give any time soon. His shoulders were already aching fiercely at the weight they were forced to support as he dangled, his feet barely able to brush the rough earth floor beneath him.
He also realized he had been stripped of everything but his threadbare trousers. The observation made him feel more vulnerable than ever as he hung, almost naked, at Morgana's mercy. He felt himself shiver under her scrutiny and at the cold water that still clung stubbornly to his skin.
"Good morning Merlin, sleep well?" Morgana asked, finally breaking the tense silence. Her voice was laced in the same deceptive sweetness she had grown so adept at using during her time as the double agent within Camelot's walls.
Her words had him pause. Morning? How long had he been unconscious? He had definitely been out for quite a while and had to wonder why she had allowed him to sleep so long, or keep him alive at all, for that matter.
"The best sleep I've had in awhile, thanks." Merlin rasped through his dry throat, matching her tone while trying to figure out why exactly he was still alive and concluding that whatever the reason, it would not be good.
"Good, you will need your strength for all the fun I have planned today." Her eyes lit up in a way that had a sick feeling grow in his stomach.
"I don't feel much like having fun with you Morgana."
"Now, now. Don't be like that." She scolded him with a pout. "I think I deserve a little more respect after graciously hosting you for the night and taking care of your wound."
As soon as Morgana mentioned it, Merlin felt a steady throb of pain radiate from his chest. He looked down and finally saw the full extent of the injury he had suffered at the sword of a bandit. Just above his heart was a deep gash that spanned from his left armpit across to the middle of his chest, exactly above his heart. The skin around the wound still looked swollen and angry but the gash was clean and there were no signs of obvious infection.
So she needs me alive, most likely to extract information about Arthur and Camelot's defenses, Merlin concluded, trying to remain calm at the thought of being tortured. It wasn't as though he was a stranger to enduring pain and suffering in his service to Arthur and he was confident that no matter what Morgana did to him he would never betray the trust of his King and kingdom.
"Well, I have to say your hosting abilities are lacking. I can't imagine anyone staying long if they have to put up with such dreadful accommodation."
"Well you better get used to it. We have a lot of catching up to do. After all, I haven't seen you since you condemned my sister to a slow and painful death, thwarted my plans to take over Camelot and forced me to live in a hovel."
"Some of my finest achievements." Merlin spoke proudly, "If I do say so myself. Although Arthur still seems to think of me an underachiever."
"You won't be quite so boastful once I have finished repaying you for each of those 'achievements'."
"Oh, and I'm sure you want information too? Is Agravaine that incompetent a spy? Oh yes, I know about him. It was obvious…he really is quite shifty." He grinned when he saw a vein begin to throb in her template, knowing her was getting under her skin and hopefully planting the seeds of doom for Agravaine. He needed to go so he could stop poisoning Arthur with his council.
"You were always far to observant for your own good Merlin. But I know you won't give up your secrets. You're far too loyal for that. Pathetic really, you follow Arthur round like a dog, but he never appreciates what you do – what you have done for him. You are beneath him, just like you are beneath me and I will enjoy beating you down until you know your place."
"Don't think you can fool me with your poisonous words Morgana, I know my own worth and I know my place. It is at Arthur's side, saving his royal backside from people like you. I can die happy."
"Oh, you're not going to die. Oh no, I'm not going to make it that easy." She leaned in closer and Merlin tried not to flinch away from her unwanted proximity.
"I have such horrible things planed for you Merlin. You will long for death by the time I am finished." Pulling back she smiled at him, baring her teeth in the mockery of a smile, a sight that disturbed him more than anything else.
Merlin shivered, and this time it was nothing to do with the cold.
~ Morgana ~
Morgana felt her grin widen as she watched the boy before he shiver. For all his bluffing and bravado she could see the fear lurking beneath and she couldn't wait to pull it out, one scream at a time.
Turning away, she walked to the table she had cleared and began to lay out the instruments of torture she planned on using, remembering the lessons her sister had taught her about inflicting pain, both through physical and magical means.
She took time to arrange her gruesome collection, wanting Merlin to see exactly what she had planned as he waited, bound and at her mercy in horrified anticipation. Waiting would make what came next so much sweeter, and she was eager to make this last as long as possible.
Because once she had broken Merlin – and she would break him – her fun would be over. There was no joy to be had in torturing something already broken, but perhaps she could send his body back to Arthur. A gift for the King before his own death.
Deciding she had left him waiting long enough Morgana selected her first method of torture, a simple wooden switch made from birch and magically strengthened to inflict agony at even the softest of hits.
She turned to face him and watched as he eyed her warily as she approached. Walking past him, she couldn't help but trail the end over his bare and mostly unblemished skin delighting in the flinch it brought, looking forward to every mark and scar she would carve into his pale skin.
Positioning herself behind him, deliberately out of his line of sight she purred into his ear.
"Shall we begin?"
~ Arthur ~
Arthur sat in his chambers, barely noticing the passage of time, as he stared down at the bloodied scrap of cloth lying in his palm.
After more than half a day of searching, it was all his knights had managed to recover of Merlin. The discovery of so little had shocked Arthur. He had been confident that his knights would return with Merlin, alive and safe. But Agravaine's murmured condolences had forced him to consider the possibility of Merlin being dead.
He felt strangely numb at the thought. It seemed impossible. After so many years of death defying quests and battles he had grown used to the almost constant presence of the annoying, gangly man at his side. He was, in some ways, the most reliable companion he had.
He could remember, with horrible clarity, the last time he had seen Merlin. He had looked as though dead lying among the ranks of bandits on the other side of the gully. He had been prepared to fight off every single man to ensure both he and Merlin would survive but had been forced into retreat at the start of a sudden rock fall that had cut him off completely.
That moment had haunted him ever since, despite knowing nothing could have been done to change what happened. It wasn't his fault that the gully walls had decided to crumble down at that exact moment…
Yet he still couldn't shake the guilt that permeated his thoughts and had him morbidly linger on what fate had befallen Merlin. It seemed likely that the bandits would have taken their frustrations out on the servant, perhaps even killed him in their anger at having lost him, as the bloodied piece of cloth in his hand suggested.
He had tried, at first, to climb over the rock wall that had formed in the gully. But after his third failed attempt he retreated, continuing through the gully in hopes of finding a path that would lead up back into the woods and enable him to double back to find his friend. By late afternoon he had began to lose hope in ever finding his way back and only abandoned the search when he was found by his own knights, knowing he had duties to perform as King and the disturbing news of a traitor within their midst that he had to investigate. Someone who had given the bandits their travel route and caused the battle that had lead to the loss of his manservant.
He was startled out of his gloomy thoughts by the sound of chamber doors opening. He quickly straightened his back and let the kingly mask slip onto his features, hiding all traces of his previous worry and guilt.
It wouldn't do for his uncle, or any other court official, to see him in such a state. Not over what they would consider a mere servant, and not when they were expecting him to lead Camelot and prove himself as their ruler. He had to squash down the anger at having to hide his true feelings, to act impassive in the face of everything lest he make himself appear weak.
However, it was only Gwen who appeared at the entrance to his chambers, pausing as she waited for him permission to enter fully. He nodded his accent, letting out a small sigh before letting his shoulders droop and the mask to fall from his face.
He did not feel like pretending more than he had to and Gwen was one of the few people who shared in his loss of Merlin, even though he would never admit to his feelings out loud.
"Arthur, I brought you some food." She spoke softly and he could see the reflected sadness in her eyes and she laid the tray of food before him.
"You didn't have to." He replied, looking at the food without feeling a pang of hunger.
"Yes, I did. I have been told you are refusing to eat."
"What? No I haven't…" He looked around at his surroundings properly and noticed two more trays of food, sitting on a small table nearby, the plates of food now long cold and beginning to congeal.
"When did those get there?" Surely he would have noticed a servant entering his chambers…
"When they usually do." Gwen answered, looking at him with increased concern.
"How did I not notice? Merlin is usually so clumsy when he–" Arthur cut himself off abruptly, swallowing thickly against the rising sense of loss, looking down again at the cloth in his palm and slowly closing his fist over the fabric.
He wasn't sure how long the pause lasted until he felt Gwen's gentle touch on his shoulder.
"They will find him Arthur. You know they will keep looking till they find him."
"I should be out there. I should be looking too, I need–" He rose out of his chair, intent to leave immediately, but a stern look from Gwen had him freezing in place. How did she do that?
"What you need right now, Arthur Pendragon, is to sit down and eat your dinner. Then I expect you to go to bed where you will actually rest."
"Are you ordering me Guinevere?"
"Yes. Well someone has to when you get in this state."
"What state? I'm not in a state!"
"You are and always go into one when things like this happen. Its like you can think of nothing else until you solve whatever problem has cropped up. You act like you are alone in solving it and forget to look after yourself in the meantime. I think the only reason you don't starve in those times is because Merlin forces you to eat. But he isn't here so I have to make sure you do in his stead."
"How can you expect me to eat and sleep when Merlin is still out there, wounded and dying?"
"What use are you going to be tracking and saving him if you are exhausted and hungry? He would not want you to neglect your own needs for him, not when it could get you both killed." She put her hands on her hips in an action that brooked no arguments and he felt a surge of affection overtake him at her strength.
"I…I guess I could sleep for a few hours before I ride out." Arthur conceded, but still felt conflicted, the urgency to find Merlin not waning in the slightest.
"And?"
"And…eat my dinner?" Arthur guessed, feeling immediately like he was a child being scolded by his parents. How Gwen managed to make him feel this way he wasn't sure but he dutifully started eating until the plate was clean and then readied himself for bed as she took away his dirty dishes.
As soon as she left he contemplated sneaking out to begin his search but a yawn immediately split his focus and he knew that without at least a few hours of sleep it would be a wasted effort.
Curling under his blankets Arthur's thoughts returned to Merlin, and he rubbed his thumb over the piece of cloth still clutched in his palm.
I will find him, Arthur vowed to himself.
Just please, let me find him alive.
~ Merlin ~
Later
Merlin hung limply from his bonds, on the verge of unconsciousness yet unable to find the rest his body craved.
His back felt like it was on fire, agony rippling down his spine at every small movement he made. He could feel the areas of flesh where the skin had been ripped off and hear the drops of blood hit the ground from where they ran down his back and legs onto the floor.
He had known at first contact with the wooden switch that it had been magically altered. He could sense the oily residue of dark magic upon it, unable to suppress the flinch when he had felt it resting against his skin.
But his observation did nothing to prepare him for the absolute agony that overtook his mind when Morgana brought down the switch across his back. As the wood had bitten into his skin it felt as though it was carving into the very core of his being, ripping him apart one lash at a time and leaving him in tatters.
Screams had been torn from his throat with brutal efficiency until his voice grew hoarse and gave out completely and he could taste blood on his tongue.
But through it all Merlin hadn't begged. It was small consolation against what he had endured but it was enough to reinforce Merlin's will not to let her break him. The cost was too high considering the secrets he kept hidden.
He looked up through his sweat soaked hair that was handing over his face to find Morgana hadn't moved. She had been watching him for a while now, he could feel her stare on him and wondered, not for the first time that day, what had happened to the gentle and compassionate girl he had first met in Camelot. He had seen the expression of gleeful anticipation that had overtaken her features as she had approached him with the switch and her laughter had mingled with his screams.
She caught his eye and moved from her spot by the fire to stand closer to him. "How did you enjoy your first day in my company Merlin? I do hope you enjoyed yourself. This is just the start of the fun I have planned."
Merlin tried to speak but found his throat too raw to give anything but a hoarse wheeze. Morgana seemed put out by the lack of response and raised her hand, mutter words that had her eyes flash gold and a warmth spread through Merlin's throat, so blissful in its sensation he almost wept in relief before the agony in his back returned to the forefront of his mind.
"Your methods of entertainment are rather lacking." The warlock replied, feigning casual indifference even as he grimaced in pain.
Morgana only smiled sweetly even though her eyes burned with rage at his continued impudence. "Joke while you still can Merlin, you will have little to laugh about soon enough."
The warlock felt the fear in the pit of his stomach grow at the thought of having to endure worse than what he had already gone through but refused to dwell on it for more than a few seconds before responding.
"Arthur will know I'm still alive." Merlin spoke boldly, not giving her the satisfaction of watching him cower in fear.
"And you think he will spare time looking for you?" She sneered back. "A mere servant, who he never really liked to begin with. I doubt he would mourn you for more than a few seconds before replacing you with someone far more competent."
"You clearly underestimate his character then. It's a surprise that you ever knew him at all."
"It doesn't matter whether he values you or not, he won't believe you are alive for much longer, I was sure to leave some souvenirs of our time together." She held up his tattered brown jacket, indicating where a chunk of it had been ripped away. It was one of the areas that had been covered in his blood and he knew how it would look to Arthur.
Merlin felt the first notes of panic spark in his chest when he realized his chances of being rescued had fallen drastically. He had no idea how far out from the city he was or how much priority he would get when Arthur would have his hands full running the kingdom, especially when such evidence would point to him already being dead.
"You are finally getting now aren't you Merlin. No one is coming for you. You are mine, to do with as I wish."
He had no reply for that but Morgana didn't seem to need one. As she turned from him he felt the pain and exhaustion finally catch up with him and finally, darkness claimed him.
. . .
Took me a while, but here is chapter two! Real life got a hold of me and while I had half of this chapter written I could never find the time or motivation to finish it until now. I'm hoping to get a move on with the stories and others I have had brewing in my head.
Huge thank you to Nelly2560, delurker, sarajm, KIMMIKY, Aaronna and TOO-MANY-FANDOMZ for reviewing and anyone else who has read,favourited or followed this story so far. It is for each of you that I finished this chapter.
Please leave a comment if you have the time and tell me what you thought Any constructive criticism is welcome as I currently have no beta.
Till next time!
