"Duncan." I say crossing my arms. "I really do not want to talk to you right now."
"Gwen, after that blowup back there, I think I deserve to have a conversation with you." Shit. I know that he has a good point, and I really do not like the fact that I cannot just not talk to him about this.
"Fine…let's just go to my room then."
"Good." We walk into the house and don't say a word. Thank God Devon and my mom seem to be out of the house. We get up to my room and I shut the door.
"Gwen what the hell was that back there!?"
"Excuse me!? Shouldn't I be asking you what the hell happened back there!?" I get up in his face. "You have someone! All the time! I go out to eat with one guy and it wasn't even a date, and you just flip your lid!"
"Are you saying I don't have the right to be angry at you for that?!" Duncan screams back in my face.
"No!" My eyes start welling up with tears. "No you really fucking don't Duncan." Suddenly I see Duncan's eyes soften.
"Look…I just didn't like him, okay. He gives me a vibe."
"Duncan I don' t like you with Courtney, and yet I keep, or well kept, my fucking mouth shut because she makes you happy. So now what is even the point of us talking. She's never going to let us hang out ever again." Duncan sighs.
"I'm really not here to fight with you about emo boy…"
"Trent. His name is Trent."
"Whatever. Look I have to tell you something. I swear on my brothers grave I'm telling you the truth." My eyes widen. When he says he'll swear on his brothers grave, it's some serious shit and I know he's not lying.
"Okay…now you're scaring me Duncan. You yelling scares me, but you swearing on Brad's grave makes me even more nervous."
"It should…but I'm warning you, it's going to sound crazy okay." I nod my head and we sit down on my bed.
"Wait, close your window blinds." Duncan says.
"Uh, okay, sure." Okay, this fucker is really scaring me. I get up and close the blinds and go to sit back down on the bed.
"And turn off your phone too." Duncan says turning off his own. Okay, what the fuck.
"Are you going to put my hand in a wood chipper and kill my ass?" I ask as I'm turning off my phone.
"No…but if they hear me saying anything I will."
"Duncan, who the fuck is they."
"My dad or Courtney."
"Duncan you are not making any damn sense." I hear him sigh.
"Here' s what's going on…I got caught for a third time last year, and my dad wasn't going to save my ass. That was until Courtney ran into the court room and told her dad not to do it. That she loved me. That she'll change me and I'll be an upstanding man in society. So he wiped my record. Made me sign a contract that I will not leave, cheat, say anything to anyone, nor do anything illegal until I turn 18. It was that or go to jail for the next 5 years. Gwen I had no choice."
"…Is it bad that it sounds one hundred percent like something she would do. But, if you're not supposed to say anything, why the hell are you telling me?"
"Gwen, I'm telling you because I don't want you to date emo boy."
"Duncan, it wasn't a date. I ran into him, we went and got a coffee."
"Bet ten bucks he gave you his number though."
"So what if he did?! Duncan I don't get it… I really don't. You've been with Courtney way before last year. You've been with her since we were sixteen. You got caught, when? A few months ago? What's the fucking difference with the contract being active."
"Because Gwen, why I got arrested is because of Courtney. She framed me when she stole a promise ring because I wouldn't buy her one. I told her I didn't see our relationship going anywhere, and she put the ring in my bag and called the cops later that night. She did this because I didn't want her anymore."
"Duncan…I don' t, I don't know what to even believe with you anymore. If she did something that fucked up, why do you keep fucking her?"
"Because if I don't she'll tell her dad I'm cheating!"
"With who Duncan?"
"You!" I scoff.
"Oh please, like you would ever cheat on her with me."
"What' s that supposed to mean?"
"Duncan please. Don't even pretend you would leave her for me. Don't even."
"Gwen, why do you think I didn't like seeing you with emo boy!"
"Because I'm your "best friend" you idiot."
"Gwen. I'm being dead serious. I don't want to see you with anyone else but me! Gwen I fucking love you, if I could leave Courtney for you I would!" It's everything I wanted to ever hear, but it just doesn't feel right. This isn't how this was supposed to happen.
"Dunk…do you get why I'm so fucking skeptical?! It took you to see me with someone else to say that; not me fucking crying for a week not talking to you because I was absolutely crushed when you and her first got together. Not me being distant because I couldn't stand seeing you two together and you never gave a damn. Never bothering to close your goddamn window!" I feel tears running down my face, I grab him by his shoulders and drag him to my window. Right out this goddamn fucking window I see you fuck her. You could never fucking bother closing that goddamn window! My soul has been dead for a year and a half. I've been begging, pleading with God to make this hurt stop. Duncan you have no idea how much you've fucking destroyed me. I'm in love with you, and I also hate you so much sometimes. You drive me insane and have fucked with my head. I can't. Duncan get out! I can't take all of this right now, get out!" I'm screaming, sobbing. For the second time, I punch my window. This time, however; it shatters. I feel my arm go through the glass, burying itself into my skin. As much as it hurt; it felt relieving.
"Fucking shit, Gwen!" He grabs me, and looks at my arm. There' s a lot of blood. I don't even care.
"Gwen!" Duncan looks at me with concern, tears forming in his eyes. "I did this to you…I did this to you…"
"Why are you crying now…"
"Because, I really am the monster people say I am…"
"Duncan-" I don't even remember what I was going to say, but next thing I know the room spins, I see white
"I'm going to be lucky if I ever write about this day…"
Blackness engulfs me.
