"Gwen."
"I can't believe this! Duncan of all people!"
"Uh….Gwen?"
"Why does God love to play tricks on me. Why! I mean I know I say Goddamn a lot but why am I being punished?!"
"Gwen!"
"Ah! What!? What?!" Breaking me out of my thoughts is one of my employees, and fellow art colleague Miranda.
"Girl you okay?" She says as she finishes up counting down the registers. "You've has that look on your face all day."
"What look? There's no look." I cross my arms. I see Miranda roll her eyes at me. Damn her for knowing me so well.
"That one. The one where you look like you're in between celebrating something and shitting your pants." I snort at her and huff.
"If you only knew what happened today."
"Well, my dear bestie."'She says as she walks over to the door and flips the "open" sign to the "closed" sign. "Now that Work is over, tell Manda what's going on." I sigh.
"Maybe talking to her will make me feel better…"
"You remember me talking about how I got my scars on my arm because I got mad at my first love right? Then how lately I couldn't stop thinking about him?"
"Oh my God, did he like call you up or something?"
"Better, or worse. Depending on how you look at it. He is now my new neighbor." Miranda's eyes widen and then she smiles.
"Oh Gwendolyn. How fate is sweet and cruel to you all at the same time."
"I know!"
"Is this something you're happy about or…?"
"It's complicated…I guess I'll find out tonight whether or not it's going to be something good or exactly the same as it was back when I punched my arm through the window."
"Wasn't it because he was having sex and you could see him or something?" I groan.
"Close enough to the reason, yes. And don't remind me. I swear I'll break down his door if he pulls shit like that again."'
"Or it might be your turn to fuck him!" I blush and glare at Miranda.
"Please, I haven't even properly talked to him about this yet. We figured it out here, he had to go to work, as did I."
"You mean to tell me that guy who you said you told we weren't open yet was Duncan?! Girl! Jump him! Take what's yours again! You haven't been on a date since you and Trent broke up."
"Miranda! I'm not going to jump his bones, I doubt he even is the same person anymore. Who knows if we'll even get along?"
"Well what did he say when you two figured out you were old buddies from the past?"
"We just…kind of stood there. He hugged me while I cried, then after that his alarm on his phone went off so he could get to work on time. He told me to go over there for some pizza and we'll talk but I'm not entirely sure if I want to. He's hurt me a lot you know….he did say however, that tonight he would tell me everything I have questions about. Why he left me at the hospital with Trent. Why he abandoned me….."
"Gwen, you even said it yourself. What if he isn't the same person. What if he's better. I know no matter how much you deny it, but you've held on to your relationship with Trent long enough. He's moved on, it's time for my best friend to try and be happy again."
"Of course I hoped we could get back together…but you know as well as I do it's not going to happen now."
"So what do you have to lose, Gwen? Sitting at home while guitar boy has the time of his life on the road with his new lover?" I sigh.
"You know what Miranda…you're right. The worst case scenario is that I won't talk to him and the best case is I get an old friend back."
"Well, your best case scenario and mine are completely different, but sure." I crack a smile and laugh.
"Miranda, you need to get laid. You're too horny for your own good." She smirks. "Well ask him if he has any single friends and maybe I will."
"He just said he moved here."
"Tell him to make friends!" We share a laugh. This is why I love Miranda. She can take any shitty situation and make you bust a gut. That, and she pushes me outside of my comfort zone every once in a while.
"Well, I guess I better get going. Duncan said he'd get off around 8:00." I walk out the door and she follows behind me. I lock the door.
"Wear something sexy!" She says as she walks to her car and I roll my eyes.
"She's right…not about the sexy thing. My ass is putting on sweatpants and he can deal with it. But there's always been a part of me who thought Trent would come back once he realized he was ready to settle down. He settled down. On the road. He found someone who he said he's been looking for…and that stung more than anything. Here I am back in a scenario where I'm watching someone I love, Love someone else. Unlike the Duncan and Courtney situation from way back when, I'm not angry with Trent. He found out who he was and who he needed to be. I can't be angry about that. Plus the new lover on the scene is super nice and we get along well. I think it's I was just with him so long I can't picture anyone else…but I have to. I need to for my own sake. Maybe Duncan is it, maybe he isn't. But there's no sense in wasting my time waiting for someone to come back."
More determined than ever to make this a good night, I walk with confidence. My head held high for once. I make it back to my apartment and, like I said, I'm wearing sweatpants and don't give a fuck either. Ah the sweet happiness of not wearing jeans anymore. I also do, take off my bra and put on a baggy Green Day tee shirt from a concert of theirs I went on years ago. It still fits like a glove though. I wipe off my makeup, leave my contacts in, and put my hair up into a messy bun. If Duncan is serious about wanting me back in his life, then he's seeing the not so glamorous side right up front. I once again grab my keys. I close the door behind me and just stare at 306. Right in front of my face is 306. I feel my palms getting sweaty as I take the three hardest steps of my life and knock on the door. He opens the door and smiles
"I'm glad you made it, sunshine. Come on in."
"I might just shit my pants." I think to myself as I walk into his new apartment. All he has out is a couch, the tv, and a few TV trays.
"I know it's not much, but I haven't unpacked yet. Pizza should be here in about twenty minutes." For the first time I look at him. Just like earlier, he's still good looking. Damn him and his muscular build in that white tee shirt and gym shorts.
"So…you said that you're gonna tell me everything right?" I say flopping down on his couch. I hear him sigh.
"You want a beer or something before we start this? I know you've got to be nervous cause honestly I've never felt more terrified to talk to someone in my life." That's a first. He's admitting he's nervous.
"Sure, why not." He comes back with two beers and hands me one.
"…So…." Duncan rubs the back of his neck, that hasn't changed. He always did that when he was nervous. "What do you want to know first…"
"Honestly Duncan, why you left me at the hospital with Trent. I don't get it. That day you were so mean and shit to him then all of a sudden you trust him enough to leave to juvie…."
"That, Gwen. That's because what you said. That I hurt you. I hurt you so much to the core that it broke me. Then seeing you bleeding because of me. Because I was too much of a selfish prick to see what I was doing to you. I loved you…but I knew it wasn't our time. It wasn't my time. When I picked you up, his number on that piece of paper fell out of your pocket. I knew what I had to do. To do for you to have the life you deserve. So I got you there and waited with you while I waited for pretty boy to show up. Once he did, you know the rest. I went to Courtney and said it's over. Her dad took me away, and that was that…speaking of does he know you're over here with me? I'm sure he wouldn't be thrilled with this idea." I smile a little, knowing he did it because he cared about me, and the fact he's naïve.
"Duncan…I've been single for a while now." His eyes widen.
"Did that bastard dump you?!" My heart flutters.
"No…I broke it off with him. There was more than just him being on the road and me being here. We needed to let go so we could grow. I'm surprised you haven't heard he has someone new considering it's been on all the magazines and some news shows."
"Gwen, it's been a few years but you know I don't pay attention to that shit." I smile.
"It's nice to know some things haven't changed about you."'I take another swig of my beer and cross my legs cross cross apple sauce. He smiles back at me.
"Any other questions?"
"I guess…if you're mad at me for not ever writing you." Duncan shook his head.
"Never. But I'm guessing Trent told you what I told him right?"
"Yeah, just to forget about you….."
"Yeah…" Duncan breaks our gaze.
"You know I never did right…even with Trent for all those years I never forgot about you…"
"I never forgot about you either…." He looks back at me with those piercing blue eyes of his. Even now, they captivate me. They're like the ocean…they just have a way of drawing you in. Sweeping you away.
"Gwen…I-"
"Pizza delivery!" The nerdy sounding boy yells as he bangs on the door.
"Is it me or was he closer to me than when we first started talking? Nah….I'm just imagining things."
"Fucking….whatever." Duncan mumbles as he gets up from his side of the couch.
"Here's your pizza, gosh!" I hear Duncan start laughing. Oh how nice it is to know I'm not the only one fate has it after.
"Here's your tip Harold. You should probably answer doors nicer and you'll get a tip." Before he could even respond, Duncan slams the door in his face. I start laughing. Oh the poor soul of Harold.
"Ah here we are" Duncan says putting the pizza box on one of the TV dinner trays. Dinner is served. I hope you still like the pizza we got when we were young." I sit up.
"Duncan you did not!" I open the box and sure enough. My favorite flavor. A veggie pizza with pineapples on it with the thin crust and a side of balsamic vinegar. "You remembered my favorite pizza?!" He smiles at me then looks away.
"Hey. Some of the best memories I have are of me making fun of that pizza and you getting so mad at me and we'd wrestle."
"I'm really impressed." I say taking a slice and eating it. "You could barely remember what two times twelve is but you remember every detail of a pizza we ate five years ago."
"You know me, sunshine. I only remember important shit." He smirks at me and I blush a little.
"I really shouldn't be letting him back in so quickly…but…this feels right. Like no time has passed." We eat in silence for a while. It's not uncomfortable by any means, which is also strange in itself.
"Thank you for inviting me over Duncan." I say smiling.
"Does this mean we're gonna see more of each other?" The look on his face is so full of hope. That makes me happy.
"You know it juvie." I say smirking. "However, it is getting late."
"Alright sunshine, see you tomorrow?"
"Possibly." I say smiling. I go over and hug him. His heart is beating fast, I can feel it. I pull away and I immediately want nothing more than to just be near his chest again.
"I'll make sure you get in your apartment."
"Duncan. It's literally across the hall."
"Yeah, but what if Harold was still lurking around. You know he's a weirdo." I smirk at him.
"Not as weird as the man's apartment I'm in now."
"Oh, down for the count sunshine. That one hurt." We laugh again and I walk out the door and open my own. We wave goodbye once again and as soon as I get inside, I run and grab my diary.
"Dear diary, you have no idea what happened today…"
