CHAPTER 39

Yutaka Kobayakawa was happy, though the same couldn't be said for her blue-haired cousin. The younger girl held her cousin's hand as they walked together down Otome Road, one of Konata's favorite places and usually always brightened any gloomy day she had, as rare as they were. Today however was one of the gloomiest. Konata Izumi came to terms with her homosexuality, the same day she had to come to terms with the reality that the love of her life was gone. Her little cousin however saw this as a breakthrough for her other sister figure. Yutaka always had a feeling about her cousin's orientation, but never confronted her on it. Despite all of Konata's charisma, Yutaka still knew Konata was afraid to be honest with herself.

To help her cousin come out of her shell while also letting her stay in her comfort zone, Yutaka thought it a good idea to bring Konata to Otome Road. Let Konata ease into her new reality. As Yutaka guided Konata down the flamboyant street, she couldn't help but find her optimism struggling against her cousin's raincloud. Yutaka glanced at her free hand where she carried a few bags of new manga books and where her wristwatch hugged around it. Her scheduled rendezvous was supposed to happen in ten minutes and she hoped that Patty was going to be able to keep her side of the plan.

"It sure is a nice day, isn't it onee-chan?" Yutaka asked.

Konata slowly lifted her face skyward to the vast blue mural free of any obstructing white streaks. It was just the blue sky and bright sun on this August day. Yutaka's eyes were glittering in the sunlight, but Konata's pasty and exhausted expression was like the single black cloud in an otherwise beautiful sky. She sighed and grunted a bit, acknowledging Yutaka's favorable opinion of the day, but did little more than just that. Her grip on her little cousin's hand was also cold and clammy and Yutaka had to admit that she needed a break from it.

She found a cosplay café similar to the one Konata worked at, though this one was outdoors and would allow them to continue to bask in the beautiful day. They sat together at a table for four people, though Konata didn't notice. She also didn't notice how Yutaka placed the bags of manga at her feet instead of on one of the empty chairs, as if they were expecting company. Yutaka ordered Konata an iced coffee while she herself ordered an orange juice smoothie.

They sat in silence for a while until Yutaka decided it was time to get Konata to open up about her feelings. Since their early morning rendezvous two days earlier, Yutaka allowed her cousin to take in everything that she had confessed and gave her the necessary space. However, it was time for Konata to open up for if Yutaka let her continue to clam up, Konata would never be able to advance forward with this new perception about herself. If Konata couldn't accept herself for who she was, especially without Kagami Hiiragi in her life, it would only lead to more confusion and complications later in her life. It could even lead to a dark path that Yutaka shuddered to think about; a path that ended with her giving a tearful eulogy at her blue-haired cousin's funeral.

"Konata, I gave you a lot of space these past few days to really think about who you are and where you want to go with what you told me. I also kept your secret about where you've been sneaking off to at night from your dad, so I think you at least owe me a conversation." Yutaka said sternly and Konata couldn't help but turn her attention to her cousin, still caught off guard by Yutaka's growing sense of assertion. "I know what you're going through is hard, but the last thing I want you to think is that you're alone. You confessed to me that you're homosexual, and that is perfectly fine. It doesn't change anything about you. You're my cousin and you'll always be my cousin, but one thing I cannot and will not tolerate from you is this new shut-in, reclusive depression that I am seeing from you. I want you to talk to me."

Konata sat up from her hunched posture and couldn't help but look Yutaka in her eyes. Gloomily, she said, "I have to say…you seem so much more grownup, Yu-chan. I still remember the day you came to live with me and my dad. Seems like it was just this morning we were welcoming you to our house."

Yutaka smiled a bit. "Well thank you for the compliment, but I have to say I have learned a lot myself about growing up and maturity from Kagami's situation. I still can't imagine how hard that is for you."

Konata pulled further back, hoping the shadow of her blue bangs would hide her face. "It is. I loved Kagami from the first day I saw her."

Yutaka leaned closer. "When you first saw her, was that when you truly knew you were a lesbian?"

Konata shook her head. "No, it wasn't. I always knew I was different, even as a kid. When I was growing up, boy bands were the hottest thing for all the girls, but I was never into them. I liked the girl bands, and especially this American thing called Power Rangers. That was what really got me into martial arts and being tough. I actually remember my first crush was on the Pink Ranger, Kimberly. I also remember being into Batman before the anime and manga and games really took over my life, but I would only watch it for Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, or Catwoman. When I got older, I started to understand what all these thoughts meant."

"And you never told your dad?" Yutaka asked.

Konata shook her head. "I always wanted to, but every time I approached him to tell him, I lost my nerve and ended up talking to him about something else."

"You're afraid he won't accept you? He's your father and you're his only child. Something tells me he'll love you no matter what your orientation is."

Konata shook her head again. "It's not that. If anything I really, really want to tell him of all people, but it's me. I'm too afraid to say it out loud."

Yutaka tilted her head. "I'm not sure I understand."

She stopped talking when the waitress, a student Konata's age and dressed as Sakura Haruno from Naruto, arrived with their drinks. She sat them down and left.

"I was just about to say that you're never shy when you work at the cosplay café. And remember our cheerleading dance for the arts festival a few months ago? I was so nervous but you were so smooth during it." Yutaka observed.

Konata sipped her coffee. "But that was different. I was in my element and my comfort zone. Whenever I'm in that zone, it doesn't matter what or who I like. Plus, constantly living in my otaku world helps me forget about the fact that I am a lesbian."

At that, Konata quickly cupped her mouth. She quickly looked around to make sure no one else heard her public confession, but Yutaka smiled at the breakthrough. Confessing it to her in the privacy of their home was one thing, but to basically shout it for the world to hear was another matter entirely. Konata was flushed red and trying to hide under her hair again, but Yutaka wouldn't let her.

She reached out and cupped her cousin's hand. "It's okay, onee-chan. I think you've made really good progress. Please, don't hide who you are from the world, because I love the real you and so do your friends. Please tell me, what are you thinking right now? What does it mean to you to be a lesbian?"

Konata's blush subsided and she uncupped her mouth. She swallowed hard and leaned forward, keeping her voice low but still above a whisper. "It…it's hard to describe, Yu-chan. I mean, picture yourself with the man of your dreams, but in my case, it's a woman. Like, those bubbly, warm rising feelings you get when you fall in love? That's what I felt the first time I saw Kagami."

Yutaka patted her cousin's hand. "I know you miss her, but I have to be frank with you. Kagami doesn't want our help and doesn't want to be our friend anymore. I'm not asking you to just forget about her, but I just want to remind you that you have a lot of friends that care about you and just want to see you smile."

"Hey there…!"

Konata and Yutaka looked up and saw Patty and Hiyori approaching them. Yutaka glanced at her watch and Patty was right on time, making the salmon-haired girl smile. After a few phone calls and text exchanges between the two, it was decided that Konata and Hiyori were both down in the dumps recently, and the only cure was each other. Though Yutaka was reluctant to out her cousin, Patty swore a death oath to her to keep the secret, especially because only a few days after Konata started combing the Aku District for Kagami, Hiyori confided in Patty about her true feelings about Konata. The two had to be a match.

"Hey, what a surprise! It's Patty-chan and Tamura-san!" Yutaka squealed in a grossly exaggerated tone. "Speaking of good friends, look who I'm here with!"

Patty eyed Konata as she dragged Hiyori by her hand and also proclaimed in a poorly acted voice, "Well speak of the devil, it's Konata! Remember, I was just talking about her, Hiyorin! And now look, here she is! What a coincidence!"

Konata's lips twitched slightly upward when she saw the long-haired girl approach her, who seemed to share in her facial misery. When Hiyori saw Konata was there, she was quicker to smile than Konata, though the curved lips soon found their way on Konata's face.

"Hey there, what are you two doing here?" Konata asked slowly and with a fragile voice.

"Well Hiyorin here has been cooped up in her room the whole week working her poor self to death on her latest doujinshi so I decided to drag her out and get a little sunlight." Patty squealed again.

"Well it's great to see you two again." Yutaka added. "We were just out shopping and just ordered some drinks. Care to join us?"

"You bet!" Patty cried, giving a blunt thumb up.

Neither Konata nor Hiyori could put it all together yet. Patty quickly guided Hiyori over to the empty seat across from Konata and sat her down, the seat where Yutaka went out of her way to not put the bags of manga in. Patty and Yutaka sat down again and started their conversation again. Their eagerness intensified when they saw Konata and Hiyori staring at each other.

"So you guys came to this café." Patty said. "You know, I heard this place has some of the best spicy oden on Otome Road."

Yutaka's ears perked up. "Really? That sounds really good."

"Hey, how about I show you all the kinds of flavors they got?!" Patty exclaimed and quickly stood.

Yutaka quickly stood too. "That sounds great! Lead the way!"

It all happened so fast that the two long-haired otakus couldn't react. Yutaka and Patty quickly stood and dashed inside the café's restaurant and they were left alone. At first, there was silence between the two as they stared at each other. Each girl was happy to see the other, but seemed to be at a loss for words. As they sat and stared, it was clear that they both wanted to say something, but the words were caught somewhere between their heads and mouths, like a roadblock of sorts.

After a few physical gestures and throat clearings, Hiyori finally said: "It's…it's nice to see you again, Konata."

Konata giggled slightly. "La-likewise, Hiyorin."

Another quick silence between them.

"I…I heard that…I heard that you decided not to search for Kagami anymore. Guess…guess that outfit I made for you didn't work out." Hiyori murmured, almost inaudibly.

Konata shook her head. "Forget about it. I actually feel bad for asking you to do that for me now. The more I think about it, the more I feel I took advantage of your friendship and I owe you an apology."

Hiyori's eyes deepened and she began to shake her head. "No need, Konata. I wanted to bring her back as much as you did, but I have to admit, every time you went into that section of town, I had the worst knot in my stomach until I heard from you again. Every time I heard you made it out safely again, it was all I could do to keep myself from crying."

Konata instinctively put her hand across the table and took Hiyori's hand. "It's okay. I'm fine now."

Hiyori's smile deepened slightly. She held Konata's hand and giggled a bit. "I'm really glad you're here right now, Konata."

Konata giggled herself. "Likewise."

From inside the café's restaurant, Patty and Yutaka watched the whole exchange from the window, though far enough inside to not be seen.

"Can I play matchmaker or what?!" Yutaka exclaimed.

Patty laughed. "So can I! But still you are the Ying to my Yang, Yutaka-chan!"

The two girls laughed and gave each other a high five and watched the ones closest to them grow closer to each other.

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If the average person on the street would give Tsukasa Hiiragi a passing glance, they would probably look right through her. The youngest Hiiragi child herself always identified herself as plain when compared to her pink-haired friend who had recently been discharged from the same hospital she was staying at. However, if those said average people were to take an extra second and give Tsukasa a thorough look over, they would see someone nothing short of a warrior with more battle scars than hairs on her head. Yet she still stood tall and as a survivor through the horrid and vile atrocities she was forced to weather and in a time where, just recently, she had just celebrated her most momentous achievement.

Though anyone of Tsukasa's friends or family members would tell you she had a long way to go before she was as tough as a samurai, as her appointments with Dr. Kishimoto would illustrate. Regardless, Dr. Kishimoto wasn't trying to turn Tsukasa into a warrior. She was trying to heal her within the safe confines of her office, where Tsukasa wept every visit. So much to unload, from the loss of her sister in a car accident, to the loss of her sister's friend, hell, even to the loss of her other sister period. If that wasn't enough, the forced eyewitness view of her sister's destruction, her incarceration and torture by Yuka Miyakawa, as well as the murder of a nurse on her head by the control of the devil's drugs should've been enough to break Tsukasa. Yet, she still stood. She cried, but she still stood.

Dr. Kishimoto sat back in her chair and let Tsukasa vent again in her office. The latter clutched a new stuffed animal closely to her face. Today, Tsukasa had to face the reality yet again that she had murdered a nurse. Though the police had already informed her family that their district attorney declined to press any charges against Tsukasa given the circumstance, it still didn't make it easier. It still didn't erase the guilt of taking another life, especially one tasked with assisting in her recovery. Knowing this made Tsukasa cling tighter to the plush animal.

"That's right, Tsukasa, let it all out." Dr. Kishimoto cooed as she hugged Tsukasa on the couch. "I can't even begin to imagine the burden that you're carrying right now, but I promise I will never leave your side. We're going to get through this together."

Tsukasa cuddled closer to Dr. Kishimoto. She had been crying for fifteen minutes so far and they were already halfway through their weekly visit. Since it was clear to Dr. Kishimoto that Kagami couldn't be redeemed and was lost, she would damn the day that she would let yet another innocent soul be taken by her evil sister of Yuka Miyakawa. Tsukasa was suffering PTSD from her endeavors, and Dr. Kishimoto knew that such a disorder would only lead to dangerous coping mechanisms if not managed and treated properly. Dr. Kishimoto feared Tsukasa taking to a drug habit, either to quell the pain she was suffering, or even start one in a desperate attempt to make herself "worthy" of her sister. It wouldn't be the first time the psychologist had witnessed such a case.

Tsukasa's strength drained and she soon lost the grit to keep crying. She pulled away from Dr. Kishimoto, her eyes red and puffy, and dabbed at them with tissues offered to her by the doctor. Dr. Kishimoto stood and took her seat in her chair again and readied her notepad. Despite the tears, the doctor couldn't help but notice that Tsukasa had made some rather impressive strides since they began weekly therapy. She wasn't quite there yet, but Dr. Kishimoto believed that Tsukasa was well on her way to forgiving herself for the death of the nurse, as well as accepting that it wasn't her fault and accepting the event in general. However, Dr. Kishimoto wanted to talk about something else today.

She allowed Tsukasa a few more moments to compose herself and when she did, the doctor said, "How would you like to talk about Kagami today, Tsukasa?"

Tsukasa slowly lifted her head, her face still a little damp from crying. Her expression suddenly changed to one Dr. Kishimoto never saw on Tsukasa before and it startled her. The youngest Hiiragi child formed a hybrid expression of a frown and scowl, creating a Frankenstein stare of hatred upon hearing the name of her fraternal twin sister. No one thought it possible for Tsukasa to form such an irate look when she heard the name and Dr. Kishimoto feared that the stare alone was opening a new chapter for the Hiiragi's youngest.

"What's there to talk about?" Tsukasa hissed in a voice that made Dr. Kishimoto she saw a jet of air leave her own mouth as she exhaled. She nearly jumped when Tsukasa wailed, "LOOK WHAT SHE DID TO ME!"

Tsukasa reared her arm still constricted by a medical bandage hiding the tattoo. Though it was Yuka Miyakawa who reared the tattoo gun, Tsukasa's comprehension of the situation fueled her rage at her sister. If only Kagami would've accepted all the help she was offered by her friends and family instead of always going back to Yuka and the late Ryuji, then all of this never would've happened. Tsukasa's arm was tattooed because Kagami wouldn't step up to the plate.

Dr. Kishimoto started writing in her notepad. "You're feeling anger because your sister's addictions led to your abduction and torture. Am I right?"

"Gee, you think?!" Tsukasa snapped, still frowning. "I'm branded for life because of her! Because of this, this, this…monstrosity…I'll never get into a good school, get a good job, even get married! What man would want to be the husband to the tattooed circus freak?! I hope I never see her again! I hate her!"

Dr. Kishimoto gulped when she heard Tsukasa proclaim hatred for the one she used to worship. To see such a dramatic alteration in her personality regarding her twin sister deeply deserved Dr. Kishimoto and brought the old wounds and contemporary ramifications of her little sister's existence closer to her.

"Okay, Tsukasa, I understand why you feel the way you do. That being said, I would like to discuss a few healthy ways for you to express and deal with your anger." Dr. Kishimoto said, adjusting her glasses. "I have a small book on my shelf that I would like you to take home and read. It's only about fifty pages but it helped me a lot when I had to weather a situation similar to yours a few years ago."

Dr. Kishimoto stood and walked to her shelf while Tsukasa tilted her head at her. "A situation you were in?"

The doctor tried to hide her wince. "Oh, it's not important. Anyway, I really think you could benefit from this short book."

Dr. Kishimoto returned with a book the size of a novella, no more than fifty pages long as she said. She presented it to Tsukasa, who held the book up and read the title, "Forgiveness: The Greatest Hardship You Never Want to Carry."

The doctor nodded. "It's a series of short stories from people who were horribly wronged and abused by members of their own families. Situations that forgiveness should be impossible in, yet these figures found the strength within them to forgive those who hurt them and how it turned them into better people."

Tsukasa sat the book down, still scowling at the floor. "But what if I don't want to forgive Kagami for what she did? What if I hate her forever?"

Dr. Kishimoto nodded. "That is an option for you, though I don't think that would be a wise one. You haven't forgiven Kagami yet, right?"

Tsukasa nodded, still frowning.

"And how has that made you feel?" She asked, ready to jot her client's response. "Have you felt better about yourself or your situation? Or have you felt that your life is better with hate for your sister in it?"

Tsukasa tightened her stare, not wanting to admit what she already knew. She remained silent and folded her arms.

"Let me guess. You feel fatigued all the time; like it's a constant struggle to stay awake, you feel heavier in your head, and you have a growing sense of pessimism, even resentment towards humanity. Maybe you're even taken aback by the idea of starting new relationships with strangers, whether they're as new friends or a possible romantic connection with someone."

All the while, Dr. Kishimoto could see Tsukasa struggle to hold in her tears. It didn't take much longer until her tears once again resumed and Tsukasa had to reach for her tissues. Though Dr. Kishimoto knew Tsukasa had a long way to recovery, she did see this as a step in the right direction. Tsukasa was still emotionally connected to herself and reality and was obviously guilty of feeling everything the psychologist described. As an even more optimistic sign, it was clear she didn't like these new feelings that came with holding on to hatred for such a long period of time, especially in matters one couldn't resolve on their own.

Dr. Kishimoto continued their appointment and Tsukasa started to let go of her growing dark side. Dr. Kishimoto would think about her little sister later that night as she rested in her husband's embrace, vowing to not let Tsukasa join the darkness of hatred that had completely consumed her younger sister of Yuka Miyakawa.

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When she woke up this morning, Konata Izumi was convinced that the rest of her days would be dark and tragic. Kagami was gone and she was heartbroken, but Yutaka wouldn't let her cousin play that card. She would damn the day the notoriously boisterous and individual Konata Izumi would shut herself in and throw herself her own pity party of defeat. Yutaka knew her cousin's true identity, and that was a positive aspect that the salmon-haired girl was dedicated to bringing out to show the world. It was a part of Konata that was her truest, yet at the same time her most innocent and vulnerable.

When Yutaka learned that Konata and Hiyori walked back to the latter's house, their hands connected, she couldn't help but hold her head a little taller that day. Konata Izumi and Hiyori Tamura. It was a couple that, in all reality, had some credibility to the concept. Now it was up to them to make it work. Hiyori had feelings for Konata that she couldn't deny, and Konata was sure she felt something similar and wanted to pursue. Hiyori was already ahead of Yutaka when the blue-hair's little cousin warned her that Konata was still emotionally fragile. Still, Hiyori wanted to go for it.

The two girls arrived at Hiyori's house a little past dark, just as a summer storm was approaching. While they were walking, they stopped a few times along the way to watch the dazzling lightning brighten the sky from afar.

They stood before Hiyori's front door just as another murmur of thunder roared in the distance. Staring into each other's eyes, they struggled to release each other's hands.

"I uh, I had a really good time today, Hiyorin." Konata said softly, a tone Hiyori wasn't familiar with but loved it right away. "Thanks for hanging out with me today."

Hiyori smiled at her and nodded. She scratched the back of her head with her free hand and giggled nervously, hoping it would somehow hide her blush. Stuttering in the beginning, she replied dryly, "Tha-thi-think na-nothing of it, Konata."

Konata gently took Hiyori's other hand and the two girls held each other's hands under the glowing streetlamp. There were a few gestures in their faces, as if they both wanted to do something but were too afraid to make the first move. Hiyori could read Konata's mind and she wanted to kiss her as well, though didn't want to overstep her boundaries, not to mention that she was scared as well.

Hiyori took a deep breath and took the plunge. Closing her eyes, she leaned down slightly and connected her lips to Konata's. Konata was surprised at first and her green eyes widened from the gesture, but it didn't take her long to realize what this was and even faster to comprehend that this was what she wanted. Shielding her own eyes, she pushed back and hugged Hiyori tightly. They held that pose under the orange light in the quiet summer night, the crickets providing them a soft serenade.

They disconnected after a few seconds and still smiled at each other. Cupping each other's faces, Konata couldn't help but make light of their newfound relationship by whispering, "Call me."

Hiyori giggled again and promised. The two girls gave each other another peck and Konata turned and walked away. Hiyori watched her girlfriend round the corner and their first date was complete. Sighing with content euphoria, Hiyori turned and entered her house, just as the lightning cast across the sky.

Across the street in-between two houses in the dark alley, another lightning bolt broke across the sky just long enough to cast light onto a set of glowing rancorous eyes staring at the Tamura household. As fast as they shined onto the house, they disappeared into the darkness again. The owner of the eyes didn't wait for another lightning bolt to usher her in so she took it upon herself to step onto the stage.

The figure walked out of the alley and under the orange streetlamp guarding the sovereignty of the Tamura household, Yuka Miyakawa slowly tilted her head upward at it. She hadn't changed since she had escaped the strip club shootout, and neither had her lust for blood and carnage. Her toothy grin widened as she read the nameplate on the house and she slowly unsheathed her dagger, ready to put her plan into motion to once again drag Kagami Hiiragi and her entire family back into her psychotic embrace.