Chapter 15
Over the next few weeks, Lydia started putting together a plan to chase Wickham from the neighborhood. As the Bennets knew most of the serving staff and their families in the area added to their community standing and relationship with the local business owners, they had a lot of support in slowly pulling the rug from underneath Wickham. It would start with the local washing ladies handing his clothing off to have the seems tightened. Businesses would quickly tighten their credit. Mr. Wickham would soon only be served by the male proprietors. His sleeping arrangement would start to develop rocks. Slowly but surely, his comforts would be replaced by stonewalls. He would start with the basic courtesy offered to any visitor, but every time he attempted something the Bennet sisters didn't approve of, a small courtesy would be lost. It had proved effective with Mr. Walston, whose servants did the same thing with every offensive comment. The first, his clothes were "mended" a smidge tight, pillows weren't fluffed, and breakfast was served early. Overtime, Netherfield's servants became less and less flexible. Soon, the shopkeepers gave him the worst cuts and invites to social functions ceased. Mr. Wickham would experience the same cold shoulder. All the while, Lydia would flirt and egg him to keep making mistakes.
As to Mr. Collins, while he continued to make comments to Mr. Bennet's "overspending", he quickly realized that in disparaging the servants, hot meals and tea were less forthcoming. And further complaint gave him little support. Mr. Collin's opinions on the moral bereft-ness of servants were no longer shared. He still was appalled by the fosterling school and made sure all understood that he would not continue such a ridiculous hobby. Apparently, the warning to remain away from the Bennet sisters was also ignored. In fact, Mr. Collins vacillated his attentions between all sisters before settling on Kitty. Kitty, of course, soon rarely departed from the shadow of a sister for fear of Mr. Collins.
As to Netherfield's current occupants, Miss Bingley had decided to arrange a ball. So determined was she in proving the shortcomings of all of Hertfordshire, she failed to notice the bridges she burned or the actual accomplishments of the neighbors. None of this was helped by the failure to consider deep rooted connections within the community. As she railed against the Bennets, servants slowly became less cooperative (like the previous tenant). Of course, the wonderful Mr. Bingley never found a sudden dip in service. Mr. Darcy may have been served on or two cold baths, but that was only immediately after the initial assembly and his abominably rude comment to the perfect Miss Elizabeth. As he had made no further rude comments, it was determined that he would be on probation but no service requests would be "miscommunicated".
Miss Bingley on the other hand seemed far to obtuse to realize the direct correlation between cold tea and insulting certain community members (read Bennets). Of course, the servants wanted to ensure the Bennet girls could perfectly outshine the curmudgeon. This meant every preparation for the ball would inevitably executed with military precision. After all, most of Netherfield's servants were trained by the Bennets and were perfectly efficient when the master of the house liked the Bennets (and didn't offer carte blanches). Notice the key word: inevitably. While the servants hardly needed minute direction from Miss Bingley on the appropriate way to string garland, it didn't prevent them from asking before they were called away to other tasks. It certainly didn't prevent them from requesting her to inspect every single knife, fork, spoon, cup, vase, dish, bowl, or other item the servants could find to inspect. Miss Bingley herself seemed to fail to realize that while she railed that the servants couldn't do anything, in her absence everything was perfectly done. Her frustration caused her to lash out at her brother who saw no failures from the servants. To this, Miss Bingley seethed that it was probably because the only thing he did notice was Jane Bennet. And Jane Bennet would have to be separated from her weak-minded brother.
Being that the ball would be a townlike affair, the Fanny approved of her daughters wearing one of the dresses designed by Lydia. An older dress, but one designed by Lydia all the same. The Lucases pulled out their finest gowns. Much of the town was aflutter to such a grand ball being held. All the stops were pulled out as last minute ribbons were ordered, and gowns hastily adjusted. Mr. Collins, being the generous soul that he was, offered to dance with each of the Bennet daughters. Upon expressing concern over a ball being an appropriate amusement for a clergyman, Mr. Collins thanked his cousins for expressing such concern but said the amusement was unobjectionable and for an exalted person, such that he was, it was important for current neighbors to meet the future master. Mr. Collins wanted all to know that he would improve Longbourn from its current spending problems and bring it back to prosperity. The residents of Longbourn are still unsure of how Mr. Collins came to the conclusion that the estate was mismanaged and indebt simply because he did not approve of them spending any money on behalf of its current residents.
The morning of the ball, the ladies were all resting in their room laughing and speaking in French as their two ladies maids finished preparing their eveningwear. Lydia commented that Jenny, the baker's daughter, had reported the Mr. Wickham seemed to be chafing restrictions and couldn't understand how he was putting on so much weight. A string of giggles quickly followed, for all girls had heard of his attempt to woo the butcher's and candlemaker's daughter simultaneously. As the merriment continued, hair was neatly coiffed and dresses received a final inspection from Lydia
In the guest quarters, Mr. Collins grumbled about the unnecessary extravagances as he began to prepare himself. Mr. Collins was a man on a mission. Tonight, he would propose to a lovely Bennet daughter and prove that he was a gentleman of fine taste. Catherine would soon bend to his will and everyone would see that he was a strong and able master, unlike the present "master" of Longbourn. On last shine on his boots, and Mr. Collins felt that the neighborhood would truly understand that they should be honored by his presence. Around of giggles upstairs made him polish just a little harder. Those harlots above the stairs would quickly fall into line after he took over the running of Longbourn. No man would want to marry a woman who thought she was above her station.
The five Bennet daughter ascended the spare carriage sent by Bingley to transport them to the ball. Mr. Bennet had no desire to allow that Mr. Collins in a confined space with his daughters. As the carriages rounded the bend of Netherfield, the occupants couldn't help but smile as the lanterns provided an ethereal light to mansion. Footmen quickly bounded to the door to assist guests into the home. Mr. and Miss Bingley stood by the door greeting guests.
"Mr. Bingley, how well Netherfield looks." Mrs. Bennet cried. "It has been far too long since I have seen the estate so lively."
"Thank you, madam. But the credit goes to my sister." At this the younger Bingley sister gave a brief curtsey, barely acknowledging the praise. For these country nobodies, this would surely be the closest thing to a true London gathering they would ever attend.
"Mr. Bingley, gentleman to gentleman, I must thank you for inviting me, most graciously, into your humble abode." Mr. Collins seemed to trip over the flattery, while simultaneously trying not to ask how much the candles cost.
"Mr. Collins, I hope you can enjoy yourself before your departure back north." Mr. Bingley barely seemed to notice the bumbling parson, so enchanted was he with the eldest Bennet daughter.
As the guests paraded in, and the Bennet daughters filled their dance cards, Mr. Collins felt anger at having only had the foresight to request one dance. Rather, he felt angry at his cousins for not having naturally held two dances for him. He had presumed that they would each have empty sets and would be so flattered with being asked for a second dance, he had not concerned himself with initially reserving the second dance. But those strumpets, they should know to reserve two dances for their most esteemed cousin. After all, he would soon turn them out of home when their father met his maker.
The Bennet sisters themselves had also made a pact, unbeknownst to Mr. Collins. At no point during the evening would any sister be alone other than the dance floor. To ensure that dances were quickly removed they had also subtly hinted at available dances to close friends so that their card would quickly be filled before they had to present a second dance to their cousin. All the sisters agreed that Mr. Collins seemed to be teetering on the edge of Bedlam. One minute he was issuing compliments, then the next a slip of the tongue would indicate his opinion on the appropriate place for women. Jane and Elizabeth who had vague recollections of a childhood avoiding similar opinions, closely watched the man and hoped to soon be rid of him.
As the dancers lined for the first song, Miss Bingley finally decided to observe the garment her guests were wearing. To her shock, the Bennet sisters appeared to all be wearing designs by the infamous L. But it had to be impossible. But as she looked closer, she knew that it had to be L. Caroline had spent all last season pouring over the fashion magazines and every design by L. Everyone wanted a dress by L. But few could manage an appointment. How on earth had they managed to get their hands on such garments? She herself had tried several times to book an appointment at the exclusive modiste. Not only were they the same gowns from the coveted fashion plates, they were the same material. It had to be knockoffs. But even then, she had never seen someone able to replicate the draping. And she had certainly tried to get seamstresses to recreate the famous cuts and draping. How dare those chits outshine her. As she looked around she saw the Lucas sisters also seemed to be wearing high quality dresses. Where were these nobodies getting their clothes? This was simply unacceptable. This was her night.
Unfortunately, this would not be the only thing that would ruin Caroline Bingley's night (and by extension proof of her superior accomplishments).
Mr. Wickham failed to show up, much to the disappointment of Lydia. The staff at Netherfield had gotten word of the misfortune of Mr. Wickham and had hoped to join in the fun. Oh well, perhaps he would learn a lesson by the end of the week. Lydia hated snakes, and Mr. Wickham was as much a snake if ever she had seen one.
For the rest of the evening, the locals danced gaily and gave a toast to the health of the hosts. Mr. Bingley danced with all the Bennet sisters (one sister may have danced twice) and firmly set himself into the towns good graces. Caroline danced only with her party, and was accepted for the excellent party and not for her accomplishments. The Hursts were forgotten: Mr. Hurst fell asleep in the library and Mrs. Hurst disappeared into the crowd without her sister by her side to provide some level of distinction. Mr. Darcy managed to earn back a little good will by dancing with a few of the local daughter; in particular one Miss Elizabeth Bennet, with whom he had a lively debate on the place of books in a ballroom.
All who attended left the ball quite pleased with how the evening had turned out. Three gentleman would ponder on their lady loves: one on a sweet angel who bestowed sweet smiles, one on a pair of fine eyes who improved her mind through reading, and one on a harlot whose sisters would soon learn to beg for his mercy.
