"Be-doo-zee-ba-ba-reep!"
The door to Maarani's quarters opened just as M2-P6 rolled past. Out stepped Maarani herself, who looked right at the droid and narrowed her eyes.
In the common room, Izan tossed another card into the pile, sighing as he looked over at Jayden, Cecile and Dana in order.
"I thought playing against a droid was lousy enough. Getting whooped by two Jedi who have never played before…"
Jayden shrugged a little as she drew her next card. "I have played before actually, and memorized the rules. It's a simple game to pass the time while out in the field as far as I'm concerned."
Dana was about to make her next move when the odd sight of Maarani pushing M2-P6 around flashed past one of the port connectors.
"At least she came out of her room. I'm starting to miss when she actually tried to behave like an adult."
A faint series of beeps and whistles echoed out from further down the core section, towards the cockpit. It soon passed over to the starboard corridor, then stopped.
At that, all three finally began to take note. Dana was the first on her feet, slowly making her way towards the pair beyond.
"What is she doing…"
The sound of the airlock being opened rang out to them over yet more beeping from M2-P6.
"Teegs!"
She bustled through the connector into the corridor just as the airlock closed. Before she could act further, the outer door had been opened, jettisoning M2-P6 into the void around them.
Izan and Jayden weren't behind, both fearful for a moment that the situation had been reversed. For all of a few seconds until Izan came to the obvious realization.
"We're on a limited credit supply, and you just shove a droid out the airlock? This is worse than when you decided to dump the old EVA suits weeks before we got new ones!"
All Maarani did was shrug in the most nonchalant way she could. "I hate droids that speak in Binary. The beeping annoys me to no end."
"Okay, but there's less drastic measures than-"
"I'm not done Izan."
Dana's arms instinctively folded as she felt bitterness starting to emanate from Maarani. She only barely acknowledged Jayden's decision to vacate the corridor at that moment, her concentration deep on keeping things under control.
"No-one consulted me about bringing another droid on board. I don't care about what you do with your money as far as equipment and supplies go. But this is my ship, and I don't appreciate others being brought on board behind my back!"
Normally, Izan would have done his best to shrug the matter off and go back to being mostly unfazed as he always was when an active threat wasn't about to kill him. This time however…
"It was Dana's idea. She wanted help with clearing up the ship. No need to chew our heads off about it…"
The sounds of conversation became known when the silence set in. Jayden was apparently conversing with someone at the holotable.
It was the opportunity Dana wanted to end the tension. "Get some rest, both of you. I think we've all been cooped up on ships or space stations for far too long. About time we find solid ground again."
Once she was gone, Maarani slipped past Izan on her way back to her quarters. Her cold mood was making him uncomfortable.
He wasn't going to be deterred this time, following not long after to the open doorway. "What's going on Maarani, really? Until now I've seen a lot of snappy mood swings. Now you're just stuck like this, which I'm guessing means something's gotten to you."
By then, Maarani had sprawled out on her bed, and could only manage a slightly head turn toward him without having to pull her lekku out from under her shoulders.
"Spilling my heart only to have it all shoved in my face kinda does that."
She sighed when he leaned against the doorframe in that familiar manner that said he wanted her to continue.
And so she did just that. "That bitch had the audacity to call me a deluded hypocrite to my face. I was talking about how my first girlfriend got taken by the Hutts, the second got blown out of the sky, and didn't even get around to the disaster that would have been number three before she got all high and mighty about this crap."
Izan gave a slow nod. It was a lot to make sense of, but based on the fact that Maarani was actually showing emotion again, it was a step in the right direction.
"Well, I'm here now if you want to get that last one off your chest. Unless Zariba is that third one…"
Maarani shook her head a bit, sighing again before pulling her lekku out at last to make herself comfortable. "We were hitting it off as friends. I thought we were getting closer, so I tried to kiss her. Next thing I know, she's calling seduction and wanting a transfer out of the squadron while I get a second hearing towards court martial. Because she's that sort of person…"
It took even longer for Izan to make sense of that. The behaviour was definitely erratic, and at first sounded like she was describing a latent schizophrenic. When it finally dawned on him, his face found its way to his hand with another deep sigh.
"All those times you made a big fuss about feeling up other women, it wasn't really to deter men at all…"
Maarani gave a little shrug, her lips pursed. "They can't stab you in the back if you keep them at arm's length from the start."
"Look, had I known why you really were being so-"
"It's fine." By then, her expression had softened back to a solemn one at long last. For a moment, there were even faint hints of her smile. "You've put up with my bullshit for so long now, without any reason to. And you care, which is more than I can say for most I've known. I kinda appreciate being prodded if it's genuinely because I'm acting out too much and nothing else."
Izan's own lips twitched upward a bit as he scratched at his beard briefly. "What else is there to say without repeating myself? You're an amazing, albeit crazy woman to be around. And I don't think I've ever met someone I've shared this kind of understanding with before."
"Let's not get sappy here. I'm happy having met a friend who isn't in this mess for anything other than helping someone out, and we can leave it at that."
"Fine by me…" Izan was already turning to leave when Dana clasped his shoulder. When he turned around, he saw a stern look on both her face and Jayden's too.
"Wait in the common room. We need to talk to Tegama alone."
"Uh oh, Dana's using my real name. Must be important Jedi bullshit. As opposed to normal Jedi bullshit like the rest of the time."
The door was slammed shut by a forceful gesture made by Dana herself. Even Jayden looked visibly unnerved by the display, her arms folding up instinctively while the other Jedi approached Maarani.
"We just spoke with the High Council. Master Utan was on Mirial investigating a conspiracy that happened just a few months back."
Maarani's childish smirk faded away almost instantly.
"They say that they found things so disturbing that they didn't want to even speak about them until we talked to you directly. And that if you refused to talk, we were to head straight back to Coruscant and put you in front of the Council physically."
In keeping with her renewed attempts to restore the peace, Jayden stepped up after her. "Mirial is on a planetwide lockdown over this. The Jedi are preparing to move in and restore order since the military have failed to do that. Whatever happened, you have to trust us enough to tell the truth. Any little anonymous detail sent through the Council could save innocent lives."
After tightening her lips, Maarani slowly pushed herself up to sit on the bed, leaning forward slightly to stare at her jacket hanging on the other wall.
"Blue Squadron were specifically called in to do fly-by patrols by day as part of the peacekeeping operation by the military. By night, we were under orders from Republic Intelligence to beat the life out of any Mirialan suspected of collaborating with the Sith in search of intel. Plain and simple."
In the silence, Dana's heart faltered for a few moments, her jaw starting to hang limp.
Jayden breathed out slowly, one arm moving up to hold the bridge of her nose in disbelief.
"Should I get into the details? How we were told to start with shouting and slapping, move onto punching and kicking if they refused to give answers. Second sessions brought out the shock collars, damp cloths, beast prods. And after that, physical mutilation with IT-O droids providing assistance. And if they survived all that we shot their limbs off, one at a time…"
The sheer brutality of how calmly Maarani recited it all was too much for Dana, who immediately left the room with her hand over her mouth in shock.
For Jayden, the effect was also prevalent, but unlike Dana, she was not wrought with disgust. Instead, she waited for the door to close again before slowly taking a seat beside the now catatonic Twi'lek.
"That sounded very conditioned. Was that something Intelligence did to you, or has holding it in all that time broken the memories?"
Maarani shrugged once again, still unfazed as ever.
"Maarani, for what it's worth, you're not alone in this. I know Mandalore the Steadfast has done some nasty things since he took over from the Preserver, but I've kept my mouth shut in order to save the fragile alliance my people have with the Republic."
After the silence persisted, she leaned forward enough to see a tear rolling from Maarani's other eye. Not entirely blocked out to the weight of it all then.
"I bashed a woman's face in. Shocked a man until there were burn marks around his neck. Another couldn't walk from how mangled his feet had become."
In a chilling moment, she slowly twisted her head around to finally meet Jayden's gaze. There was a hint of red around her pupils.
"I tried to kill them. The others in Blue Squadron. We lost any kind of innocence on the first day, I wanted them all to suffer for making me hurt people like that."
Her head turned back around, settling on the jacket again. In that moment, she was back on Sarka in the compound, across the table from Koor, having just been told the fate of her squadmates.
"I got exactly what I wanted. They got what they deserved. And now I'm going to get what I deserve too."
At that moment, Jayden let out another breath, bringing a hand to rest on Maarani's shoulder.
"O'r ca'nara be akaan, shekemir gar kar'ta, bal akaanir ti ijaat."
A deep shudder wracked the Twi'lek, causing the tears to begin flowing freely. Her breaths became shorter, shuddering as the full emotional weight finally came crashing down on her.
"Ni skanah. Kyramud neverd."
When Maarani's own self-loathing came to bear, Jayden no longer felt contempt for her in the slightest. However poorly things had started out, this was the time that she was needed most for.
"For what it's worth, Omena got her's too."
She didn't expect any answer from Maarani, seeing as her face was now buried right against her arm, barely muffling the sobbing that was now coming freely from her.
"Cin vhetin, Tegama'Arani. Cin vhetin."
"Maarani, there's something-"
Izan stopped very abruptly at the doorway, nearly choking on his own surprise at seeing Jayden being a comforting presence to Maarani before shortly recovering. His usually bright skin had paled well before that though.
When Jayden looked to him directly, he swallowed down the choking sensation and straightened up. "Someone leaked holorecords and other files from Mirial to the entire galaxy. It's uh… not good."
"We've gathered as much…" Jayden looked to Maarani as she slowly freed herself from the tight hold, putting on her best face of support as she made her way back to the door. "Pull through this."
She followed Izan back to the holotable, where a recording of Omena, Maarani and a Mirialan was playing. The brutality of the beating issued was all too consistent with what had been described. A report in various languages was running in the meantime.
"...several Senators have condemned both the Republic Military Forces and the Intelligence Bureau over the incident, calling for the surviving members of Blue Squadron and all others involved to face wartime tribunal for their conduct. Thus far, there has been no response to the demands…"
Jayden nearly broke the table in anger when she shut it off, not wanting to see the recording repeated yet again.
"Bloody politicians. Acting like they don't know this kind of activity goes on all the time…"
An already stunned Izan nearly stammered in disbelief at what Jayden said, the paleness now reversed into an angry rush of his own.
"All the time? For fucks sake this shouldn't be happening at all! This is the kind of atrocity I would expect from the Empire! Not the fucking Republic!"
"That's what happens when war drags on for too long…"
The cold admittance was all Dana could do to keep her own bitter feelings in line. The revelation had struck far too close to home for her personally. When she looked to Jayden and Izan in turn, that much was made obvious.
"We can't go back to Coruscant now. They'll destroy what little fragments of dignity she has left to claw back, especially if we try to keep her in Jedi custody. As far as I'm concerned, we're renegades from the Republic from this moment forward unless something changes."
"Oh great, so now we're going to be running from basically everyone now." Izan lifted his hand up to further demonstrate his point to them. "First it was the Sith. Then the HK-50's. Then the Hidden Hand. And then the Exchange, or more or less my mother specifically. And now we're going to be fleeing the Republic as well."
He looked to Jayden with great exasperation. "If I insult your mother, can we get the Mandalorians to hunt us down as well and complete the set?"
"Can we not bring back Maarani's bad sense of humour? Please?"
Despite Jayden's objection, the point was not lost on either Jedi. Jayden herself had to take a moment to try and gather her thoughts on the matter. Running from the Republic just wasn't a reality they could accept on top of everything else.
"Dana, when you're done with the Council, I'm going to ask Mandalore for help. I know he won't have moral objections, as bad as that sounds, but we simply can't become a direct enemy of the Senate. If we get Mandalorian asylum for Maarani, outside the technical authority of the Republic, that should buy us time to sort this mess out. She doesn't deserve what's coming after the breakdown I saw in there."
"Fine. In the meantime I think we need to keep watch on her." Dana chewed on her lower lip for a moment as the subject in mind approached. She didn't particularly like the thought of bringing it up, but it was still necessary. "Let's keep all weapons away from her while we're at it…"
"Way to lift the mood." Izan scratched at his beard again, then shrugged. "Guess I'm taking first watch, see if I can get her to settle down with some card games. Anything else?"
Dana looked to Jayden, then turned around to the holotable. "Be gentle. I'm getting the distinct feeling there's a nasty reason why she never told anyone about this. That's what I'm most worried about."
"Ask her nicely, got it."
Yet again he made his way down the corridor, this time with Jayden behind him right up until he was at the threshold of Maarani's quarters again. She was now lying on her side in a huddle, mangling the thin blanket while she stared across at her flight jacket unwaveringly.
"Maar…" Izan was already cringing at his own attempt at a nickname before there was even time for a reaction. "Teegs, we're all staying with you on this, whatever happens. Jayden's got a plan in mind."
With no answer from her, he cautiously entered the room and approached her, biting his lip in a very nervous way. Now he understood fully just how unpleasant it was to bring up the subject himself.
"Teegs, we need you to hand over both blasters and your vibroknife, just for a while."
It finally drew a reaction out of her, just one of mild surprise, there was no resentment to be found.
"Koor didn't take it away."
Jayden left the doorway at that moment to stand beside Izan. "With due respect to Master Koor, she doesn't have nearly as much experience as Dana in this matter. We just don't want the impulse getting in your head."
By then, Izan had retrieved the holdout blaster from behind her boots at the foot of the bed, which he passed to Jayden promptly.
After slotting it into a clip on her arm, she glanced around for the others once Maarani pointed them out. With them in hand, she backed away to the door at last.
"You know where to find me Izan."
"That I do." He waited for her to leave before taking a seat on the bed again, staring at the jacket that Maarani had gone back to gazing at. "It's still a nice piece, y'know. Good quality, suits you well…"
He clasped at his jaw in a vain effort to spare himself some of the painful awkwardness. "Look, there's only so much I can do as far as the pep talks go, and I don't know what else to say."
Again, there was no reaction or response from her.
"Dana suspects that there's something keeping you quiet. I really didn't want to believe it, but would I be wrong in guessing that there's some sort of blackmail involved?"
The sudden laugh from Maarani unnerved him even more than the stare did. She certainly was going through the array of emotions over it all.
"They knew I believed there was nothing waiting for me outside the military life. No close relatives, no holdings. Maybe they knew the Jedi were ready to take me in, maybe they didn't." Once more she turned her head just enough to make eye contact, gazing at him with her blank stare.
"I would have been ruined if I said a single word out of line. Everything forfeit, labelled as a treasonist, a mentally damaged one at that. The whole game with Republic Intelligence is about knowing exactly how to hold every single person by their own throat, if they need to."
All Izan could do was give a solemn nod. "I think what you said still holds true, even now. I kept thinking the Republic was at least willing to do the right thing in the face of corruption everywhere. And then yet another hard truth came to light. I wonder if anyone will come out of this war intact."
"You suck at making me feel better."
"Well you don't care about pazaak, so my options are limited."
In the meantime, Jayden had returned to the communications room yet again, where Dana was still very much arguing her case with Sereti.
"The situation here is bad enough without everyone making their own decisions on the matter without consultation. Quite frankly I don't care what you have planned. We're in this mess because none of this has been thought through to begin with."
"I don't care that you don't care, Sereti. The fact that I've been here long before you showed up as a bratty young woman questioning everything Meetra Surik laid out isn't helping my opinion right now. This is what we're doing, and unless you intended to come after us too…"
"Dana, this is not the time for insults, or baiting. You know how dangerous she will become if things get worse. It's time we stop the meandering, sit down with her, and lay things out in full."
The glance from Dana to Jayden was defiant. Some time ago, such an act would have solely been for her own interests.
"Telling her the whole truth now would crush her. She needs time to heal from this crisis before we dump the next two on her as well. Jayden and I will ensure her protection for the time being, and when I feel she is ready for the truth I will give my share of it to her. The rest can come if we ever return to Coruscant."
For a few moments, Sereti's side was muted as she talked to others out of view, growing more stern by every second. Her voice took on a much firmer stance when it returned. "We won't condone this behaviour under any circumstances. Don't become an enemy of the Jedi again."
Jayden's lips parted just a little, her gaze now fixated on Dana while she glared back at the hologram.
"Threats, Sereti? That's starting to sound very much like the old Jedi. How ironic…"
She shut off the line before things degraded further. A sharp pain to the side of her head caused her to wince and reach for the region briefly until it passed.
"Shouldn't psychologists have better diplomatic skills?"
Dana sighed as she began making her way out of the room. "She may have turned her back on the Luka Sene, but she still has their pig-headed nature. But, Koor, Torbut and some of the others might still be sympathetic enough for Teegs to keep the rest off our backs."
"Oh good, good…" Jayden's arms folded back up. "You might have just managed to split the Council. Again. I bet we'll hear Bastila screaming 'I told you so!' across the depths of space now, no matter where we go."
It was enough to make Dana stop in her departure, making a half turn back to the other Jedi. "Bastila is a bitch. And she lost all rights to complain when she broke the Order. And I'm done talking about this."
"I wouldn't call her a bitch personally. Difficult yes… But then it's been a long time since I trained with her."
Once again, Dana's hand went to her head in a pained moment. This time when she came out of it, she did so with an apologetic nature. "You and I have had vastly different encounters with them all. But now I really am done discussing this."
Just before she moved out of sight, Jayden smirked to herself. "Maybe she can complete the set in place of my kin."
After some adjustments, she had a clear signal right to Mandalore Prime. She left it hanging for at least a minute, weighing up all the factors in what she was about to do. Her autonomy granted by the Council only went so far, and while she had every right to consult with the leader of her people, it was still very much delving into Republic matters without approval.
For all of her annoyances to be found with Maarani, there was no denying what she truly felt to be the just action to take.
There was a notable delay before she was put through at last, most of which consisted of rattling off clearance codes and keywords. When the transmission finally opened to the familiar figure of Mandalore the Steadfast, she straightened herself up.
"Mand'alor, I assume you've seen the files circulating the galaxy by now. What I need to discuss is directly related to a member of Blue Squadron, more precisely, her safety."
Mandalore took the time to think, nodding to some other officials who soon left the display range.
"We've been discussing this incident yes. As expected, the Republic have massively overreacted to the matter. The Jedi have refused to answer any questions I've asked of them, so far anyway…"
Jayden's lips rolled to the side a little. "The Jedi I've been working with decided to refuse a recall order from the Council. I doubt they'll be any more receptive to me at this time."
"A shame, but no matter. I do still hold Blue Squadron in high regard for the sheer bravery they displayed in holding the line four years ago, and if this one in particular is fleeing the Republic, I'm sure arrangements can be made to keep her here without issue."
"That's helpful, but not entirely what I had in mind." She went over the cobbled plan one more time before finally coming out with it. "I just need the assurance that she's safe from arrest by the Republic so long as she's with me. Something that the Senate won't be able to bypass. I realize it's a large favour to ask…"
Mandalore hummed in thought again, even going so far as to lightly clasp the chin line of his helmet while he did so. "I can't guarantee it will hold forever. Even if you were to induct her into Clan Mires, there are extradition treaties with the Republic that the Senate might just dig up if they're motivated to."
"In that case…"
She momentarily chewed her lip, glancing down the corridor. There was one more thing to try. Something that could pull just enough sway to hold everything off her indefinitely. But it meant asking one the hardest questions yet.
"I'll get her to make a statement on the matter. With any luck, that will shift the target off her through sympathy. And a show of support from yourself certainly wouldn't harm our interests. Where the Republic looks to lay blame, Mandalore looks to show justice."
"Ironic, that was starting to sound rather more like the words of a Jedi. But no matter, I don't see any real loss for Mandalore if it backfires. They need us after all. Contact me again when she is ready to make that statement, I'll have arrangements made."
"My deepest gratitude, Mand'alor." She let the silence settle for a while after ending the transmission. The blind eye turned to her own people had finally become of use. So long as her efforts to build goodwill were going to be returned in kind anyway.
Yet again she returned to Maarani's quarters. From the look of it, she had calmed down a little more. And she was physically acknowledging her arrival.
"Am I now part of Clan Mires? Do I have to call you mom or something?"
"No…?" She took a moment to actually comprehend what would have led to that assumption, quickly giving up anyway. "I opted for a solution that wouldn't be so awkward." The hesitation in her voice didn't go unnoticed by any of the others. They were already expecting a less than ideal proposal, which didn't help her case by any amount.
After a settling sigh, she gripped her helmet up and nodded slightly. "You need to make a public statement on the matter, it'll be relayed via Mandalore to the galaxy. Expose Republic Intelligence, any officials, the lot. If you don't draw attention to yourself, people are more likely to see you as the victim in a big web, the Senate will back off those charges. I know what the kind of people who engage in this kind of operation are like. I can protect you here, and Mandalore the Steadfast will do the rest."
So lost in bewilderment was Maarani that Izan felt he had to ask the questions on her behalf. "I know something about these people too, inside Czerka mostly. Even with the information already leaked, they won't take kindly to being put right under the spotlight."
"I know, but I'd rather face spies who betray the ideals of the Republic over loyal soldiers sent to arrest one of their own on Senate orders. Either way it's going to look a lot worse if they find out we've still got a hostage."
Dana gave an exasperated groan from the doorway, her hand clutching at her head yet again. "I told you that we are letting her loose on the next planet once we're sure it's safe. You can stop reminding us."
Again, Jayden chose to ignore the snark in favour of maintaining the nature of cooperation they needed to uphold.
She moved to kneel down beside the bed when Maarani finally began to sit up in attention. "We're alike in a lot of ways. I go through personality shifts too as you've noticed. And when I'm hurt, it cuts deeper than most others. I also believe in doing what's best for myself in addition to the galaxy. The secret is no longer your burden to bear, time to reevaluate your life."
"Cin vhetin, like you said. Here I was thinking my midlife crisis would involve Twi'lek religious bullshit or some such, not Mandalorian ideology."
For the moment at least, she looked uncomfortably calm when she stood up and approached the doorway. Plenty of tears had been shed certainly, but there was an odd willingness on her part to go through with the plan that even Jayden hadn't anticipated.
When Dana made a point of not moving out of her way, she gave a small sigh and brought a hand to her hip. "What? You think I'm gonna lose it and swear to the galaxy about how I hate everything? In an hour or two I'm gonna start crying again anyway."
Dana gave a sigh of her own as she moved out of the way just barely, an arm reaching out to hold Maarani's shoulder once more.
"I realize you may not think it, but I understand what you're going through. The swings aren't going to stop anytime soon, but you won't be dealing with them alone. Make the most of the calm, alright?"
"I'm going to make the most of when you shut up with the supportive crap."
Over a disparaging sigh she shoved past to make her way to the communications room like everyone else had earlier.
She still had virtually no idea about what could be said. A statement, or a confession? Indictment? Rant? Glorified speech, plea for sympathy? Condemnation of the people, government and military she had taken an oath to defend.
When Jayden returned to that room, looking to prepare it for her, the decision had at last been made.
"What if the Senate are going to back down anyway? I could end up making all of this bullshit so much worse by speaking out."
Jayden had to take that moment to stand in contemplation. That was a possibility that would have deserved more consideration…
"It doesn't matter, Maarani. If things get shaken up by this, then we'll have to deal with it if it takes a bad direction. And if we can't, you're still welcome on Mandalore."
A small sigh came from Maarani, in which she slowly shrugged her shoulders and took a step back, waiting for the transmission to initialize.
"I don't want to become a Mandalorian. I want to become a Jedi, like my parents, my brothers. Why is the Force rejecting me in such an utterly fucked up way?"
Again it left Jayden in silence for no small amount of time, still very short for words. "Somehow, despite not having that much of a spiritual attunement with the Force, I'm getting the feeling that it's not the case at all here. Who knows, really? A lot of legendary Jedi in the past have gone through horrible trials to become who we remember them as."
It was of little comfort to Maarani as she stood patiently in range of the hologram scanner.
"I bet there's ten times as many who died during their trials. Or became Sith. Like Masaka."
She tensed up just a little when the projection of Mandalore the Steadfast reappeared before her. The last time she had seen him in person, she was a torn, twenty year old woman barely able to contain herself at the salute he gave to Tebahney.
"Ah, the Twi'lek. Yes, it does seem obvious now. The Republic inspires a lot more blind loyalty the closer your homeworld gets to Coruscant from what I've observed. I assume you are prepared and ready then?"
Maarani made one last glance to Jayden before looking back to the table. "I make a crappy speech about how I've been so guilt-ridden and scared into silence about what happened on Mirial that public opinion goes from hating my guts to feeling sorry for me. And maybe I get through it without crying. That sum it up nicely enough, or do I have to repeat that in Mando'a."
"Your commitment and directness is already more than enough to convince me. Hope that it is enough to sway the Republic equally so. In five seconds, you will be speaking to them, and everyone else."
After taking another deep breath, she straightened herself up, using the last few seconds to brush her lekku back in front of her shoulders in what she had once been told was an appropriate formality.
A soft beep from the table itself indicated for her to begin.
"Alright, to cut with the usual awkward crap, I'm gonna get right to the point. Republic pilot Tegama'Arani, assigned as Blue Squadron Six. Most of you will recognize me from that hologram that I hear has been going around. If you don't, good, because that's a shitty example of who I am."
It was hard for her to miss Jayden's face coming to rest against her fingers in dismay. She didn't let that faze her in the slightest.
"Every single member of Blue Squadron knew what we were doing was illegal. And so did Republic Intelligence, why else would they threaten all of us with blackmail and worse if we spoke out? If you want people to blame, they're still perfectly intact, not burned to ash for weeks now.
I've spent the past months feeling like absolute shit over what I did. Finding out my sister helped murder my family wasn't any help, nor was finding out over half of my squadmates were butchered ruthlessly in a single day, and nor was having to face the White Terror's blade in person. I think it's fair to say I've already suffered enough. Mirial and other worlds apparently disagree."
When Dana and Izan approached the doorway, she took a moment to breathe and collect herself back up. There was a lot of genuine bitterness coming to the surface.
"If you think what we did was comparable to the behaviour of the Empire, you're full of shit. The Empire murdered over a thousand Jedi, ranging from eight to twenty years of age on their return. On Sedratis, they wiped out entire villages and even three Jedi Masters just to screw the Republic out of a minor fuel source. And let's not forget just how brutal they were in bombing Lentilles just months ago. What we did under intimidation and threats doesn't come close to the savagery of the Empire. And fuck all of you for daring to make that comparison."
She had no regrets even after noticing Izan's reaction to that.
"I've spent eight years fighting to protect the Republic. If one incident is all it takes to become worse than the enemy, then why the fuck did I sign up in the first place? That's my question to the Senate. I'm beyond done with being the pawn in political bullshit."
She was about to close the transmission when another thought occurred to her.
"Oh, to whoever decided to leak those files, and I have a fair idea in mind about that, you're not going to scare me."
This time she did close it, only taking a much needed deep breath after the shock of it all wore off again. As it turned out, she was anything but pleading in her speech, and that was satisfying enough.
When she looked back to the others, it was with a cold satisfaction at finally getting most of the anger off her chest. Some yet remained.
"Now we wait for the Council to call again while I get smashed off my face by what little alcohol is left around here. And then go back to crying when my head works out what I'm supposed to feel."
