Chapter 18: Unwritten
Oh...then she moved on to her opinion of Milah...and she became very venomous and after listening to her observations, the way she viewed the situation...she was right. Milah, his so called first love, had simply been using him and he gave her so much power over him. He had been so foolish...naive...she never wanted him.
No, she loved the idea of him...the handsome pirate captain that would sweep her away for a life of adventure. She never loved him at all...and for some reason, it made him happy. Why the hell would he be happy that his love didn't actually love him?
He glanced down at his right arm, remembering a rather annoying tattoo he had gotten after Milah had died.
"Love…" he started pausing a moment.
"Are you mad at me?" She asked with her head bowed and she looked like she was waiting for him to beat the crap out of her.
"Actually I'm angry with myself." He answered and her head popped up again in utter shock, "Don't suppose you could use your magic to remove this by any chance?"
He gestured to the tattoo on his right wrist with Milah's name. He wanted to be rid of it and he would prefer her magic over literally burning it off and he most certainly would.
"I don't know. Are you sure? I mean...you loved her, right?" She questioned stumbling a bit over her words.
"To be perfectly honest...i don't think i did. For so long, I've been trying to figure out...what could i have possibly seen in someone like her? When Rumple crushed her heart, i was relieved and then it was like a tidal wave and I reacted so harshly…" He stopped trying to find the words to explain it, "Artz…"
"That's the first time you've said my name." She commented looking like he had just given her the greatest gift in the world.
"Artz…" he started and he loved just how brightly her eyes shined with awe and wonder, "What i feel for you is so much deeper than what i had with that traitorous bitch. When I first saw you...mind you, you were unconscious at the time, but it didn't stop me from worrying about you.
And when you came out of the tent and I got a good look at you...i thought you were goddess. Still do actually and yes, I'm biased. Deal with it because there is nothing you can say or do that will make me think otherwise."
Her mouth snapped shut and looked completely floored by his words, but he needed her to know just how he viewed her, how she made him feel...she had him twisted up in knots right from the start and even now, having sated his lust, he still wanted her...every part of her.
He wanted her heart and if she wanted, he would give her his heart in return. That feeling, that need to claim her; mind, body, heart, and soul...it was so strong. It was impossible… he didn't believe in love at first sight yet he had barely been able to leave her.
He was drawn to her on so many levels and in so many ways. The intensity of his desire, the burning need to make her his, all the emotions she was dragging out of him, never wanting to leave her side, the sheer terror of losing her and the relief so powerful that he nearly buckled...why?
It didnt make sense...all of it but he couldn't stop it. Every part of him yearning for his star and the uncontrollable desperation he was feeling just trying to convince her that what he felt for her was real, genuine, and true.
"Watching you throughout the day… all I could do was stare. You were so thoughtful and kind, a bit bashful, easily flustered by the smallest of compliments… and i cannot begin to tell you just how pissed off i am at the other two… the bitchy blonde and her brat of a mother.
They kept saying how you weren't a savior, that you knew too much and couldn't be trusted, how they had to be more cautious now that they knew you had magic...Mulan almost cut Snow's head off in retaliation and Aurora looked like she was gonna slap someone.
Philip wisely stayed out of it...though he did not look happy either. At the time, I could not believe what they were saying and then after watching you, I wanted to kill them...then after...how did you describe it...shagging like a pair of Nubbins…" he paused when she erupted into giggles.
"Sorry...i'll explain the Nubbins thing later and you'll understand why I'm laughing." She explained her cheeks becoming rosy.
By the stars...so beautiful. Everything about her just struck him as attractive, gorgeous, sexy and alluring, yet so incredibly pure, sweet, and innocent. How does this woman possibly exist? She was literally a walking contradiction and he loved it...so different, so unique...one of a kind.
Her blush deepened and he realized that he was staring at her, but he couldn't help it. He watched her eyes...this close up, her irises were actually solid like a liquid blue. They were glowing with a light from within...just a little and it utterly entranced him...but he did finally find his voice again.
"The point is, Artz, you mean more to me than Milah ever did and I've only known you a day. I don't want to leave you...at all...because you're my star. You were literally shining...just for me. I don't know what it is i am feeling. I just know that its strong, stronger than anything I've ever felt before and it feels so familiar...almost like…like we..." he started but stopped, his mind trying desperately to understand.
"Like we have met before." She finished and he looked down at her.
Those five words changed everything for him because he knew...they were true. It explained everything that he was feeling, the intensity of it all...that was it, the why he had been searching for. They had met before...no, more than that. They had been together a long time...long enough to develop such a strong attachment to each other.
"Bloody hell…" he started only to trail off at just how astonishing this whole thing was.
He brought up his earliest memories of his relationship with Milah and replaced her with the beautiful visage of his star...his heart stuttered, skipping a few beats. More and more of his memories with Artz instead of Milah...his reactions during those times, they lined up perfectly.
But why? Why was Milah there instead of his star? Something happened, something pretty damn devastating...it tore them apart, ripped their memories to shreds and then stitched them back together… something destroyed them, raped their minds, tampered with their memories, toyed with their emotions...their story was unwritten.
The Captain now had an answer, but now so many more questions have appeared. The world is broken, a novel with empty pages, a mystery enshrouded by deceit, yet something was still missing but what could it be?
