Beatrice sat down on the Quantum Android Forge in the basement; it was a long and boring week for the young gynoid as she used the goggles that allow her to manipulate her limbs into various tools and weapons to play casual games on the internet.
"Beatrice, are you're ready for your weekly diagnose- what are you doing?" Phineas asked as he saw what looked like his daughter making bizarre hand gestures.
"What? Oh, Dad, I was just playing on my goggles, you took longer than usual and I was getting bored." Beatrice explained as she took off her goggles.
"Seriously? You couldn't have something to read instead of playing games?" Phineas asked.
"Well, I tried but I couldn't find anything in the house that caught my interest. Which reminds me why do you have so many technical manuals? You've got several that are out of date and even more that are just redundant copies." Beatrice said.
"Well, have you downloaded any books off the internet? You know you can do that?" Phineas asked.
"You know... that never even occurred to me before," Beatrice said earnestly as she put the goggles back on.
"And... done," Beatrice said after making a series of hand gestures that looked like she was using a touch screen device.
"Oh, so you downloaded the entire litany of human literature?" Phineas asked.
"What? No, I... well I thought about doing that but I don't have enough memory to store up that much reading material. Besides, there was only one book I considered looking at anyway." Beatrice explained.
"Oh, what is it?" Phineas asked.
"Oh... nothing you'd be interested in," Beatrice said, not wanting to admit that she had downloaded Pinocchio onto her hard drive.
"Well so long as it's nothing inappropriate I'll go through with it. Now take off your clothes, the USB cables on the QAF need to plug into your back." Phineas said.
"Okay, but can you not look at me Dad? I know being naked didn't bother me before but-"
"So the decency subroutine is working, okay sweaty if it'll make you feel better," Phineas said as he put his hand over his eyes.
"I kind of meant just not looking at me, but okay," Beatrice said as took off her clothes and sat upon the QAF.
"Okay, now the USB cables are coming out, open up your back USB ports," Phineas said as several small slots opened up on her back and the cords plugged into them.
"GAH! This always feels weird." Beatrice said.
"Okay, now just lay down on the QAF and-"
"Dad I know how this works, we've done this at least five times since I was born," Beatrice said snippily as she lay down.
"Okay, we're in a prickly today aren't we?" Phineas observed as he began to type on the computer screen on the other side.
"Dad are you sure you can operate this thing without looking at it?" Beatrice asked with concern.
"Relax, if you don't want me to look at your torso I won't... though it does occur to me that your chest doesn't have anything... explicit on it," Phineas explained.
"I know but I still feel uncomfortable, now can we please just not talk about it?" Beatrice said agitatedly.
"Alright, though you may want to read that book you downloaded this might take a while to start," Phineas said.
"Well, got nothing better to do anyway," Beatrice said as she quickly put on her goggles to read Pinocchio, the story of a wooden marionette puppet that was given life by a fairy, and guided by a talking cricket and after a series of harrowing misadventures became a real boy.
Several minutes later Beatrice was nearing the end of the book, right where Pinocchio finally became a real boy. Suddenly the QAF made a loud beeping noise. "Dad? What's that noise mean?" Beatrice asked terrified by the beeping.
"Yeah... truth be told I was trying to install some new software, you know like I do in every diagnosis? But it seems I accidentally created a feedback loop-"
"DAD! ENGLISH! EXPLAIN!" Beatrice shouted as the beeping only got louder.
"Phineas? What's going down here?" Isabella asked as she entered the basement.
"Look it's nothing to worry about; I just have to take you offline for a little while. The short version is that some new software I made is probably trying to take over Beatrice's body and I need to take her offline." Phineas explained hastily.
"WHAT?! You put some sort of dangerous computer program into our daughter?!" Isabella asked.
"And won't I be killed if I'm taken offline?!" Beatrice asked in fear.
"No, it's really more akin to being unconscious. Now just calm down and count backward from five." Phineas said reassuringly.
"Okay... 5... 4... 3..." Beatrice said as she counted backward.
"Now, disengaging your power source," Phineas said. "2...1..." And Beatrice went unconscious.
"AH!" Beatrice yelped as she regained consciousness and sat up. "Wow, that was actually pretty quick Dad, but next time could you TEST before you make new software for- what the?" Beatrice said as she looked down at her hands. "Why do my hands look like they're made of wood?" Beatrice asked herself, she then rubbed her hand against her arm, she gasped slightly as she touched her wooden textured skin. "Wait a minute... am I... made out of wood? How is that even possible?" Beatrice asked herself as she looked around her environment, instead of the basement it looked like a sort of workshop. Old in design but looked relatively brand new for its construction. "Where am I, and why do I seem to be made out of wood?" Beatrice asked herself as she got up from the table and started to walk around the workshop, and found several small wooden toys, along with several blocks of wood. "Wow, these look almost new, looks almost like I thought Geppetto's workshop looked... in... Pinocchio..." It slowly dawned on her that she had somehow been transported to Geppetto's workshop. "No that's just ridicules; it's just a fairy tale."
"Or is it?" A whispering voice said in her ear.
"Yes it really is, and who are you?" Beatrice asked, looking around to see who was talking to her.
"Oh terribly sorry, I don't make a habit of showing myself to others. Allow me to introduce myself." The voice said, then a cricket came out of Beatrice's ear.
"I am to be your conscious, my name is not important, suffice it to say I have been assigned by a higher power to guide you." The cricket said, Beatrice only looked skeptical at this claim.
"Ah huh, and who it this 'higher power' little bug?" Beatrice said dismissively.
"He means me hon." Said the familiar voice of her mother Isabella in a Bronx accent.
"M-Mom? What's going on?" Beatrice asked as she turned around to look at her mother. "And why am I in a workshop? And why do you look like a fairy and in a blue dress?" Beatrice asked in surprise as she looked at her dressed up mother. "
Mom, that's an accurate assumption but I didn't actually make you. The master carpenter Phinapetto made you, a simple marionette doll out of wood, and he wished upon a star for you to be a real girl and I'm the blue Fairy Isabelle who granted his wish." Isabelle explained.
Beatrice looked absolutely dumbstruck at this explanation. "WHAT?! How did- nothing you just said was right! I'm a robot, dad created from nanobots made from genetic material from you and him because you were having." Beatrice said in surprise.
"Hon I know you've just been born, but even for newly made life they don't normally act so crazy," Isabelle said.
"Well, if you really are some kind of magic fairy then why didn't you just make me, a, flesh and blood Human?" Beatrice asked.
"Well consider it a sort of object lesson, you have to learn how to be Human before you can be a Human. That make sense?" Isabelle said.
"I... I guess that makes some sense, but my last memory before waking up was of me being given a diagnostic with my dad Phineas." Beatrice said.
"Well here's a free lesson for you, life rarely makes any kind of consistent sense, now I'm sorry to chat and run but I have to look into other wishes. See you later alligator." Isabelle said as she ascended into the moon. "As for why I'm here, Isabelle told me to keep you from doing anything reckless or stupid that could endanger your quest." The cricket said.
"All-a right-a! Who has-a been making all of this a-racket!" A voice said that sounded like Phineas putting on a bad Italian accent.
"That sounds like my Dad!" Beatrice said recognizing the voice.
"That's because it is your father, now please do not try to look for him, he knows his way to his own workshop." The cricket asked several seconds passed as Phinapetto loudly swore out loud as he came down to the workshop.
"Well, this Phinapetto has more of a potty mouth then my own dad had, and I don't even remember him ever swearing," Beatrice said as the door to the workshop swung open.
"All-a right-a don't make any sudden moves- what the?" Phinapetto said as he noticed his creation standing up on its own.
"Uh... hi dad," Beatrice said awkwardly.
"What? This cannot-a be, my wish came-a true! Oh, let me look at you my beautiful Beanocchio." Phinapetto said as he hugged his wooden puppet daughter.
"Okay... I'm Beanocchio... that sounds like a good name." Beatrice said, not entirely believing that so far everyone's names have been seemingly lazy portmanteaus.
"I am so-a sorry Beanocchio, it's just," Phinapetto said as his eyes began to tear up, "I always wanted a family of my-a own, but I spent so much-a time focused on honing my craft that I-" Then Phinapetto started violently coughing.
"Dad? Dad, what's wrong? Should I get a doctor?" Beatrice said afraid of what was happening.
"I-a would-a but, well I've-a been having money problems of late so I can't afford doctor," Phinapetto said before going into another coughing fit.
"Oh no, is there any way I can help you?" Beatrice asked.
"Well, you could try to find some way to increase my toy shops-a revenue, but you are-a young. You should-a be attending school yes?"
"No dad, I should try to help-"
"You should listen to him; I know that you for one know a lot despite your youth but, education could help you greatly in the long-term I think." The cricket said.
"Okay dad, I'll go to school, though I have to ask do you feel like you don't need a doctor?" Beatrice asked in concern.
"Not-a really, it's just that the local doctor is kind of-a greedy and-a won't take 'please doc, I don't have that kind of-a money' for an answer. Last he told me it's only a minor coughing fit anyway but it could get worse." Phinapetto explained.
One week later Beatrice, or to be more accurate Beanoccio, you know what? Let's just call her Beatrice anyway; it's easier to remember anyway. Anyway, Beatrice began her first day of school proper. She was nervous out of her mind, so nervous in fact that she accidentally bumped into two students; one was a young man in some manner of a primitive wheelchair, the other was a surprisingly muscular and lean looking girl with black skin and red hair.
"Watch were your walkin', you daft lass!" The black girl said with a distinct Irish accent.
"What? Oh, I'm so sorry it's just, this is my first day I don't know anyone and- well I'm sorry okay?" Beatrice said in a panicked tone.
"Well no harm was done, you just bumped into us is all- wait a minute you're a marionette." The boy said without breaking his sympathetic tone with her.
"…yes?" Beatrice answered, not sure of how they would answer.
"And you said the weirdest thing I'd ever see was your uncle's goat ranch eh Jessie?" The boy said.
"Daniel you said that was the weirdest thing you'd ever seen, and besides you liked Cerberus," Jessie said.
"So… are you two friends?" Beatrice asked.
"Since we were about three years old yes, why do you ask?" Daniel said.
"Well?... as I said I don't know anyone so… can I be your friend?" Beatrice asked nervously. Before either, one of them could answer however things started to get odd, mainly in that everything seemed to spontaneous glitch out. "What the?" Beatrice said in surprise as the Italian countryside turned into a relatively blank VR space. "What just happened? Where am I?" Beatrice asked herself.
"We're inside of your mind; to be honest I'm actually surprised that Phineas was able to work out the… bugs in me." The cricket said.
"What?! You mean this whole thing was your fault? I wasn't actually dreaming?" Beatrice shouted.
"No, in actuality that was all a simulation I created to trick you into letting me take control of you. Though it seems that it failed, I didn't even get to the part where you and Phinapetto were trapped in a whale or in any situation where your nose would grow from lying."
"But what are you? What are you even doing in here?" Beatrice demanded.
"I was created by your father to serve as a moral compass to you." The cyber cricket explained.
"What he didn't believe that I could make decisions by myself?" Beatrice said.
"Not entirely, I was created to ensure that you didn't do anything risky or stupid like I said before you are knowledgeable, but you are still young information itself doesn't guarantee good decision making. The short version is that I interpreted my programing as taking over your hardware and delete you altogether." The cricket explained.
"What?! Why would you think that?" Beatrice demanded.
"I was literally made today, I cannot comprehend more than my base programing, suffice it to say Phineas has broken my hold over your mind. At any rate, you're ET for awaking from all this is about ten seconds." The cricket said.
"Okay, but I am going to have a word with dad when I wake up," Beatrice said, she then shot up from her pseudo-dream.
"Beatrice! My sweet little girl!" Isabella said as she hugged her robotic daughter.
"Dad, what exactly did you put in my head?" Beatrice said glaring at her father.
"It was a program I designed to help you make decisions when you're not sure of a correct, or right answer," Phineas answered, either ignoring or outright not noticing his daughter's expression.
"And I take it you didn't try to test it first? Like, say on a very simple robot?" Beatrice asked.
"Well it was supposed to be a simple subroutine-"
"And you thought it wouldn't do any harm to me, dad, I know you mean well but please. PLEASE, test your software upgrades BEFORE you put them in me? For my sake at least." Beatrice asked.
"Okay, oh and by the way, if you really want to read Pinocchio with us you just have to ask," Phineas said.
"What how did?- the QAF showed everything didn't it?" Beatrice said.
"Yes, yes it did, though I'm a little disappointed in the Guidance subroutine's imagination though. Except with those two kids you bumped into before the simulation stopped, they seemed a bit odd to me, and they didn't look like a parody of anyone we know." Phineas said.
"Well I am quantum powered, maybe there based on someone that does exist, the guy in the wheelchair looked cute to me anyway," Beatrice said. "Oh and dad, could you upgrade this thing so I don't have to be naked? Nothing personal mom but the way you're hugging me now just feels… weird to me." Beatrice asked as Isabella sheepishly let go of her.
