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Lee and Kate got to Lee's place late in the night. They were both exhausted, and neither of them wanted to talk about the altercation with Alejandro. Kate just wanted to forget him and everything that had happened, and Lee respected that. He couldn't get the image of Alejandro's eyes, though. There was something in there that showed that maybe he was right and he did care about Kate after all. Lee didn't want to think that, though. Any man who treated a woman like Alejandro had wasn't a decent man in Lee's mind. He showed Kate the guest room, and she thanked him before saying goodnight. Lee got settled into his own room, and he stared into the dark wondering how things were going to go.
...
At some point in the night, Kate jolted awake from the nightmare she was having. She scanned the room, confused as to where she was until she remembered what had happened.
Alejandro. The gun. Lee.
"Geez," she muttered to herself, rubbing at her hair. Her heart was not settling down, and she was getting antsy, so she got out of bed and began to pace. She decided to go for a smoke, but when she passed Lee's room, she heard something. Curious, she nudged open is door, listening.
"Don't," Lee was saying in his sleep. "Don't, please."
Kate wondered if she talked in her sleep too. Knowing that she wasn't alone in her nightmares was a little comforting, but she felt bad for Lee all the same. She was figuring out whether she should wake him up or let him sleep when he shouted.
"LIZZIE!"
She jumped, startled, and he sat up quickly. Kate didn't want to embarrass him, so she backed out of the doorway quietly and continued on her way to having a smoke. Outside, she exhaled into the night, listening to the sounds around her, she couldn't help but wonder just what Lee had been nightmaring about. Who was Lizzie?
...
The next morning, Lee moved around quietly so as not to wake Kate. He felt strange having a woman in his place again, but he also enjoyed it. He got lonely living by himself sometimes. He had not slept well that night, and was trying to get rid of the remaining images trapped in his mind. He was also thinking about Alejandro still. He wished he had managed to get a punch or two in before their altercation ended.
"Save some for me?" Kate asked, breaking into his thoughts as she entered the kitchen. She was pointing at his coffee.
"Yea," he nodded. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"
"No. I don't sleep well anymore," she answered, which was true. She hadn't slept well since Liam died really and even more so after the trauma she had endured recently. She went to pour herself a cup and stuck a cigarette in her lips as she made her way to his deck.
"You smoke?" he asked, surprised. She looked at him, cigarette dangling.
"Yea," she answered slowly through it.
"I didn't know that."
She pulled it out of her mouth then.
"You never asked."
"It's not healthy, you know."
"And that photo of you and your friend with cigars in your mouths is...?" she asked, gesturing to it.
"A celebration. He smokes them more than me. It's not often I do," he answered.
"I see."
"I'm just looking out for your well being," he pointed out.
"Well, I appreciate it, but I'm fine," she smiled, sticking the cigarette back into her mouth. She had never told him about Liam, that smoking was what he did, and it made her feel close to him when she did it. It was a stupid reason, but she stuck with it anyway. Lee chuckled as she lit it outside and tilted her head back, exhaling the smoke. He was gonna have to help her break that habit. He knew secretly she wanted to quit. He could just tell. He laughed as she made a face of someone dying and shook her cigarette at him. This was going to be fun.
...
"Where are my smokes?" Kate asked that evening. She searched in her bag and under her clothes.
"What?" Lee said, not paying attention. He was watching the news.
"Where did you put them?" she questioned, moving to stand in front of him.
"Put what?"
"My cigarettes," she said impatiently.
"I didn't touch them, I swear," he answered, holding his hands up. Kate surveyed him carefully. He didn't give anything away, which showed her just how good he was. The thing was, she was better.
"Really," she said sarcastically.
"Honest," he said again. She pursed her lips, knowing he was lying. On instinct, she bent down close to him. He never broke eye contact with her, which was a little unnerving as she was used to intimidating people.
"What're you...?" he started as she reached around him as though she was going to hug him. He felt her hand dig into his back pocket, and he knew the gig was up. He was rather distracted by her close proximity to him, though, that he didn't bother to stop her from taking them.
"Haven't touched them, huh?" she said, waving them in his face after.
"Maybe some of them," he admitted. He was smirking at her now because she hadn't looked in the box yet. She had the look of victory on her face until she popped the top off the box.
"Oh, come on!" she cried, chucking the empty box at him. He ducked, laughing. "Where are they?!"
"I'll never tell," he replied.
"Lee," she said, getting a little worked up now. "Seriously, where are they?"
"See, this is why you should quit. Do you see how amped you're getting? That's withdrawal."
"I just...I need them," Kate said. "Right now, I need them, okay? Strange as it may be to you, they keep me sane. They make me feel..." She stopped herself. Close to Liam, was the rest of that sentence, but she didn't want that out there yet. She could feel herself getting more worked up, and it was silly really, getting worked up over a cigarette. In her mind, it was like losing Liam again, though. If she lost the last thing that connected her to him, then he was really gone for good, so she kept smoking.
"Kate?" Lee asked, noticing she was stressing out. He stood up and reached for her arm. "You okay?"
"Just tell me where they are," she ordered, not looking at him. Lee felt that if he didn't comply, she might actually hit him, so he went over to the jar on the counter and retrieved her cigarettes for her. She yanked one from his hand when he returned and shoved the rest back into the box as she walked to the deck. Lee felt bad for making her upset, but he hadn't realized just how important smoking was to her. It made him wonder what was really going on, but he was too afraid to ask because he felt if he pushed, she would run, and he wasn't ready for her to run just yet.
...
Kate felt bad all night for freaking on Lee about the damn cigarettes. He had just been trying to help her by being a prankster about it, but she let it affect her way too much. She wasn't sleeping well again, and she wondered if he was experiencing the same thing. On instinct, she reached beside her on the bed, finding no one there. The one thing she missed about Evan was his sleeping beside her. Something about having someone with her made her feel safe and comforted during the night, especially when she had a particularly bad nightmare. Tonight, she couldn't shake the image of Liam's eyes from her mind, so without really thinking, she got up and found herself standing beside Lee as he slept. He wasn't talking in his sleep, so she hoped he was having a better night than she was. She thought about Lacy and wondered if Lee missed having her with him too. You grew accustomed to people always being there, and when they were gone, the emptiness was sometimes hard to bear. Without thinking at all, she went around to the other side of the bed and climbed in next to him. He didn't stir, and she was glad because she didn't want to explain to him that she just wanted a body beside her. She didn't want him to interpret it into anything more, but then again, if he did, she wouldn't say no. She closed her eyes, already feeling safer, and knew she had to wake up and get out in the morning before he did.
...
Lee opened his eyes in the morning and immediately noticed he was not alone. The arm across his chest kind of gave it away. He turned his head carefully, wondering just exactly who was lying next to him. Had Lacy come back? Was he still asleep and dreaming? What the hell was going on? Then he saw her.
Kate.
"What?" he murmured to himself. Why was she there? He had no idea what to do. Did she want him to wake up and find her there? Was she supposed to have gotten up and left before he woke up? Was she trying to tell him something? His brain had a million questions, but all he could do was watch her sleep. Something about her peacefulness beside him made him want to leave her like that. He knew she didn't sleep well either, just like him. She'd mentioned it the day before. He was still debating on what to do when she stirred and opened her eyes.
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, pulling away from him and sitting up.
"If I recall, this is my bed, so I didn't do anything wrong," Lee teased.
"I know, I know," she said, embarrassed. She worked to untangle herself from the blankets. "I just...oh God."
"It's fine," he assured her.
"No, it's not fine. Some person climbs into bed with you...that's gotta leave you wondering why," she said. She pulled down on her tank top before hugging herself, wishing it was longer and not showing off so much skin. She felt heat on her cheeks because she had not realized that Lee was shirtless before hopping in next to him hours ago.
"You're not just 'some person' to me, Kate. You're a friend. That gives you a little bit of leeway," he chuckled.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"It's fine, really, but you're right. I am wondering why," he responded, still looking at her.
"It's crazy, but...well, I miss that security of someone beside me when I sleep," she explained, sheepish. "I feel less...vulnerable."
"It's not crazy," Lee said. He understood it very well.
"I, um, won't do it again," she promised. "Sorry."
"Kate..." he said as she walked away quickly. He had no idea how to address this. She obviously didn't want to talk about it anymore, and he didn't want to make her feel worse. He was getting confused by the signal it was sending, though, but he decided to take it as she wasn't looking for a relationship. She just needed the comfort, and friends comforted each other. He knew that was true. He just knew, though, that she would be incredibly awkward with him now. He had to work on that or else they'd lose their friendship, and he needed that more than he had previously realized.
...
Kate avoided Lee all day. She had run out before he had gotten out of bed, and she spent the day wandering the town and not knowing what to do. He had been texting her messages all day, and she ignored them. How could she have been so stupid? He must think she was nuts. What kind of signal did that send to him, her being in his bed? She could kick herself for being so ridiculously insane.
"Oh!" she cried, bumping into someone. "I'm so sorry!"
"It's all good," the man replied. "No worries."
"Are you sure?" she asked, bending to help pick up the items that had fallen out of his bag. He took them from her as she handed them over.
"More than sure," he grinned.
"I'm sorry," she said again.
"Being lost in thought can sometimes be a good thing," he told her. "I hope that's the case here?"
"I don't even know," she admitted. He laughed again.
"Well, just watch for traffic," he warned. "They aren't as forgiving as I am."
"Thanks," she smiled finally. She watched him continue on his way, wondering who he was. Not many people were so nice when they got flattened and had their groceries strewn about on the ground. Her phone went off again, and she knew she couldn't ignore him forever.
Starting to worry. You all right? Just say yes or no.
Kate sighed. She hadn't meant to worry him.
Yes.
Thank you.
Kate knew she couldn't avoid him forever. It was getting to be night again, and she felt nervous. She constantly felt like she was being watched, which was terrible. She made her way back after another couple of hours, and she hoped she hadn't royally screwed things up.
...
Lee kept checking his phone, waiting for something from Kate after her "yes," but none came. When she finally walked through the door, his nerves were almost shot.
"I get that you're embarrassed or whatever," he said as soon as he saw her, "but you scared the shit out of me. I was beginning to think something had happened to you."
"I'm sorry," she said.
He looked at her, sighing. He didn't do afraid very well, and it always came out as anger. He took some breaths before continuing.
"I'm not reading into what happened this morning," he said. "Your explanation was good enough for me. You just got out of a marriage, and I'm still...whatever it is I'm going through, and I know that we're just friends, and I'm very much okay with that. The fact that I make you feel safe means a lot to me because I spend a lot of time in a job where I make people unsafe. So really, it's fine."
"Okay," she nodded. "Thank you."
They both looked at each other until he finally nodded back. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that he was fine with them just being friends. Had she really misread him?
"I'm going out," he said after a moment. "You okay here?"
"Yea," she answered. "Have fun."
"Thanks."
Kate wondered who he was going out with. Was it a girl? Was he going on a date? She didn't want to ask. It would make her look desperate. Lee gave her a small wave before going out the door, and she sat down on the chair and wondered why it bothered her if he really was going on a date.
...
"Say that again?" Barney asked Lee, staring at him. He had just finished telling Barney what had happened that morning. They were at Tool's place having a drink together. Toll and Gunner were there as well, but Caesar was at home. Doc was wherever he was when he wasn't with them. Lee never really knew what he did in his spare time. Tool was entertaining a lady friend and showing her his hand drawn tattoos.
"I don't think I have to," Lee answered, sipping his beer.
"She crawled into bed with you, man," Barney said. "How much more evidence do you need that she likes you?"
"She gave her reason. It wasn't like that."
"It was a lie."
"Look, there is no way this is happening," Lee said, pointing his finger at Barney. "She's in a fragile state, and I don't think us getting together is a good idea."
"Now there you go spewing nonsense again," Barney scoffed.
"It's not nonsense! It's common sense," Lee argued.
"You infuriate me."
"Right back at ya," Lee snorted. He and Barney continued to bicker, oblivious to the others.
Toll and Gunner were off in their own world too, though, and Toll was thinking about what had happened earlier that day.
"What's with you?" Gunner asked him.
"I met a girl," Toll grinned.
"Really?"
"Yea. Well, she plowed into me and knocked all my stuff on the ground, but she was really cute, which made up for it."
"Did you get her name?"
"No, I didn't," Toll shook her head.
"Then how are you gonna know how to find her?"
"I don't, but if it's meant to be, we'll cross paths again," Toll replied.
"You think fate is gonna be that kind?" Gunner asked.
"I think so," Toll nodded. He hoped so anyway.
"Damn it, Barney!" Lee shouted, making them both jump. Even Tool looked over at them, curious.
"What's up?" Toll asked them.
"Well..." Barney started.
"No," Lee said, cutting him off. "It's nothing. We're having a difference of opinion about something, that's all."
"It's his friend," Barney went on.
"Barney," Lee warned.
"I just think we should get to meet her is all," Barney said, holding up his hands. "What do you fellows think?" He looked at everyone else, who looked at each other and then back at Lee and Barney.
"I'm game," Toll agreed.
"Bring her in," Gunner nodded.
"Just a friend?" Tool asked.
"Oh, not you too," Lee moaned. "Yes! Just a friend! She's just a friend. Can you all stop it please?!"
"A'ight," Toll said. He wasn't really sure what was going on anyway.
"Tomorrow sounds good," Barney said, grinning at Lee, who glared back.
"Fine, but keep your thoughts to yourself," Lee ordered.
"I'll try," Barney snorted. Toll and Gunner smirked to each other, knowing that once Barney was onto something with Lee, he wouldn't let it rest until Lee saw it his way.
...
Kate was still up when Lee returned. She scanned him as he came inside, looking for evidence of a woman on him. She couldn't find any.
"Where did you go?" she asked casually when he sat across from her in the living room.
"Just hung out with the guys," he answered.
"Barney?"
"Yea."
"Nice," she nodded, feeling herself relax. Just the guys. It wasn't a date. Again, she didn't know why she cared. Her mind also kept going to the guy she had run into that day, wondering who he was and what he was like. If Lee wasn't interested in her, and it was beginning to look that way for sure, then maybe it was time to look into someone else. She doubted she would ever see that guy again, though.
"They want to meet you," Lee blurted, making her look at him.
"They do?" she asked, surprised.
"Yea. You game for that?"
"Sure."
"All right," he nodded. "Good. Is tomorrow okay?"
"Uh, sure?" she said, laughing. "It's not like I've got anything else to do."
"Right," he chuckled. Then he saw the newspaper ads on the coffee table. "What are you looking for?"
"An apartment," she answered, wincing. "I think...I think it's best that I get my own place."
"Look, if it's about this morning..."
"No, no. I just think I need to be on my own and figure things out. I've intruded on you long enough."
"It's been three days," he pointed out.
"I know, but I don't like intruding longer than I have to. You understand, right?" she asked. She had to get out because if she stayed her any longer she would most likely end up back in his bed, and next time there was no telling if she'd leave it as just sleeping beside him. If he didn't want that from her, then she didn't want to risk their friendship by being stupid. She also knew that right now, she couldn't handle that kind of rejection.
"Yea, I guess," he finally answered. He felt disappointed, but he didn't want to make her feel bad either. He just went with it.
"Thanks," she smiled, getting up. "I'm going to turn in now."
"Okay," he nodded. She went to bed, so he decided to as well. Once he was lying down, he kept looking over beside him to the empty space. A part of him hoped she would find herself beside him again in the middle of the night, but she didn't.
