Thank you, Pavs, for your review! Don't worry, it gets even more emotionally confusing before it resolves itself haha ;)
Happy reading!
Kate was very sore. She had been sparring with Lee for a few days now, and she didn't think her arms could carry on much less the rest of her body.
"Are you okay?" Toll asked, laughing as she groaned while reaching for her drink of water. They went out most nights now. Today, they were having lunch together.
"I thought training for the FBI was brutal," she said. "I was wrong."
"Lee's a force to be reckoned with," Toll agreed, chuckling. "You're learning from one of the best."
"So when are you going to teach me something?" she challenged.
"I can show you how to dismantle a bomb," he offered. She wrinkled her nose.
"That sounds scary."
"It might be necessary for you one day."
"All right. I suppose you have convinced me then," she smiled at him. Barney came in then, and Kate noticed the look he gave them. She wondered what it meant.
"So, are you ready to impress me at the firing range?" he asked her.
"That I am good at," she nodded.
"Let's go then."
She said goodbye to Toll and followed Barney to his truck.
...
"Damn," Barney said after Kate shot off his pistols. "Looks like you have nothing to learn from me."
"I'm better with a gun," she admitted. "Although I am getting better with the knives."
"How's that going anyway?" Barney asked casually.
"Good I think," she answered. She looked at him then, and Barney just knew. He knew she liked Lee. She was not as good at hiding it as she thought she was. How Lee couldn't seem to see it, Barney had no idea. Unless his friend was being daft about it, which was highly possible.
"You think?" he repeated.
"Well, it's just...I know Lee isn't all that thrilled that I'm doing this," she admitted. "But he doesn't get it."
"You don't want to be a sitting duck next time," Barney finished for her.
"Right!" she said enthusiastically. "I want to be strong and tough. I don't want to be regarded as weak and stupid ever again."
"I'm sorry they did that to you."
"I'm not," Kate said. Barney tilted his head at her curiously.
"Why's that?"
"Because then I wouldn't be here."
"And you like being here?"
"I really do," she nodded.
"Things with Toll are okay?" he asked. He had to know. He watched her face carefully. It gave something away, just like he'd suspected.
"I think so. We get along well, and he's very sweet."
"I see."
"Should we get back?" she asked. Barney stood there for a moment, debating on what to do.
"Sure," he agreed. They headed for his truck, and once they got driving, he had made his decision.
"Got any girlfriends, Kate?" he asked casually. "I'm trying to get Lee fixed up with someone. He's been alone and miserable too long since Lacy. You know anyone that won't rip his heart out?" He knew Lee would kill him for intervening, but he had to do something.
Kate was very taken aback by this question. She was instantly on alert because she knew how close Barney was with Lee, so did Barney know something? Was he trying to figure something out?
"Um," she started, buying some time. How did she answer this? She had to be careful. "I don't really have many friends. I keep mostly to myself."
"I see," Barney said. "Well, that's all right. I've got an eye on someone for him anyway."
"Oh yea? What's her name?" Kate asked. She hoped he was squirming.
"Dina," he answered instantly. Kate faltered. That was awfully quick. Maybe there really was a girl named Dina?
"She sounds Italian," Kate commented.
"There's some of that mixed in her for sure," Barney nodded. "She's a friend of a friend. She's in town visiting."
"Oh."
"You know, the thing about Lee is this," Barney went on. "He's chicken shit when it comes to baring his heart and soul to people. Once he's hurt, he doesn't let anyone else in, even though he likes them."
Kate was quiet. Was this a message for her? Was he trying to tell her something?
"I see," she said.
Barney watched her from the corner of his eye carefully as they drove on. He detected some disappointment over Dina, and he hadn't made her up. He had a new plan that he was going to set into motion here very soon. It would either push things or it wouldn't. Kate didn't say another word for the rest of the drive, and that spoke volumes to Barney.
...
"Ugh, you win!" Kate cried from the ground. Lee was panting above her. They were sparring again.
"Come on," he coaxed. "You almost had me there. You really did."
"Yea right," she retorted, pushing herself up onto her elbows. She had to admit she was a bit distracted, though. She kept thinking about Barney setting Lee up with this Dina person.
"You have a pattern, Kate," Lee told her. "That's why it's easy for me to knock you down. You have to change things up."
"Tell me this pattern. I don't know I'm doing it," she said. Lee extended his hand and pulled her to her feet.
"All right," he said. "Go to hit me."
She obeyed.
"Right there," Lee said when she raised her arm to do a right hook. "I know you're going to lead with that."
"Seriously?"
"Then you're going to try to knee me with your left knee followed by a jab from your right arm again. You do a spin attack and try to land your right foot on my face. Then you try to get me into a headlock," Lee finished.
"How do you know this?" she demanded.
"Like I said, you have a pattern."
"All right then smarty pants," she said, narrowing her eyes and getting into fighting position. Lee braced himself, and she made to move right only to come swinging with her left, catching him in the jaw. He stumbled. She didn't let up and came at him with a shove to his shoulders and then put her left foot behind his right leg and pulled. He tripped but stayed standing, and he caught her right arm and twisted around her quickly. She elbowed him and threw her head back into his face, making him yelp. When she turned to see if he was okay, he knocked her down hard.
"Asshole!" she shouted. "I was seeing if you were okay!"
"Are you going to do that with a bad guy?" Lee asked, wiping at his nose. Blood came off in his hand.
"No, but..."
"Then you don't do it with me."
Kate looked up at him and sighed. Lee just kept staring at her, waiting for her to get it.
"All right," she agreed. She got up. They started again. She kept changing it up like he told her, and eventually she threw him down.
"Ha!" she gloated, looking down at him. He grinned back.
"You finally got me," he nodded. She held out her hand, and he took it. Once on his feet again, he noticed how tired she was.
"Again?" she asked.
"I think that's enough for today," he answered.
"There's something I want to learn first," she said quickly.
"What's that?" he asked. She hesitated. It seemed ridiculous, but she couldn't stop having nightmares about the time Ted, the so called good guy law enforcement worker who had been working for the cartel, had strangled her.
You did this to yourself, you hear me?
If Alejandro hadn't saved her, she would be dead. She knew it.
"How do you stop someone from strangling you?" she asked. Lee looked at her carefully, puzzled. She hadn't told him about the incident. She didn't want to upset him further from the wounds she already had.
"Are you speaking from experience?" he asked. Of course he figured it out. He was smart. It was one of the things she liked about him.
"Maybe," she answered. She chewed on her lip.
"All right," he said, moving closer to her. "I won't actually press down, but I will tell you how to get me off."
"Okay," she whispered. He moved his hands to her neck, and she flinched openly.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he promised. She nodded. She couldn't help but think about Ted, how he had been determined to kill her yet looked almost sad doing it. Her breath quickened, and she felt panicked. She closed her eyes.
"Kate, I need you to open your eyes," Lee said. She obeyed, but there were tears in them.
He wanted to wipe them away, but that would be too intimate.
"I'm not doing this," Lee said instead, removing his hands.
"No," she said. "I need to learn this. I have to."
"It's not in my nature to scare women," Lee said, crossing his arms tightly.
"Then show me," she insisted. She put her hands around his neck carefully. "Show me how to get out of it."
"Were you actually standing?" he asked, trying not to think about her hands on his neck.
"No," she shook her head.
"If we're going to do this, it's going to be done right," he said. "Show me what happened." She released him and hugged herself. The night came back full force in her mind. She remembered thinking that she was going to die looking at this horrible man above her.
"He had me on the floor," she said carefully.
"Okay," Lee said. He got down onto his back. "Then what?"
"He was...he was like this," she said, kneeling above him and putting her hands on his neck again.
"Okay," Lee nodded. "Then you do this." He moved his hand up just past her elbow and squeezed hard while putting his other hand in her face, pressing a thumb into her eye.
"Ah, okay!" she yelped, releasing him.
"It's hard in the moment to remember a person's weak spots, but always go for the eyes and whatever available pressure points you have access to," Lee said. "If you surprise them, they let up, and then you can move out from it." She sat back as he sat up.
"I just remember the panic," she said quietly. She had had her hands on Ted's face at one point, she remembered that. Why hadn't she gone for his eyes? Why hadn't she remembered the pressure points?
"Panic destroys the mind," Lee nodded. "It's best to remain calm because letting panic take over is a guarantee you're going to do badly and probably wind up dead."
"What about a choke hold from behind?" she asked. "If we were standing?"
"Go for the stomach with your elbow. Try to kick the pressure point just above the knee if you can, and you can also go limp and pretend to be unconscious so when he lets go, you strike again."
"Okay," she nodded. "Thank you."
"You all right?" he asked.
"I'm fine."
"Did Alejandro do that to you too?"
"No, no. It was...it was some guy Reggie knew who I was trying to hook up with. I didn't realize he was working for the cartel until he was back at my apartment."
"Geez, Kate."
They looked at each other for a moment, and Lee felt a strong urge to hold her. Her phone rang then, and she saw it was Toll. Lee saw too. He got to his feet.
"See you tomorrow?" she asked.
"Sure," he answered. She answered her phone, standing up and walking away. Lee closed his eyes and sighed. This was just getting harder and harder.
...
"I have someone who wants to meet you," Barney said to Lee later. Lee was trying not to think about where Toll and Kate had gone for their date. It wasn't working.
"Oh yea?" he said, half listening.
"Yea. Her name's Dina. She's just looking for a night out," Barney went on. "She's had a rough go of it lately with her husband leaving her and all."
"I see what you're doing," Lee noted.
"What? I'm asking you to just get her out for a night is all."
"No."
"It's not a date, I swear," Barney said. "She's not into dating right now. She just wants to have fun."
"I don't do fun."
"You got some fun in there somewhere," Barney insisted.
"I said no."
"Christmas, go out and have some damn fun," Barney ordered. "She is not expecting a date. She is not expecting anything. You are two people going out and having fun. Can you manage that?"
Lee turned one eye towards his friend and gave him the stare down. What was going on here? Barney had an ulterior motive, he just knew it.
"Just fun, huh?" he commented.
"Just fun. Nothing else."
Lee had no idea what made him decide to agree. Maybe he did just want to go out and not think about Kate for a while. Being with someone else might help with that.
"Fine."
"Atta boy!" Barney crowed, clapping his shoulder. "Who knows, maybe it'll get your mind off of Kate."
"It's not on Kate."
"Do we have to play this game every time?" Barney asked, exasperated.
"No," Lee shook his head. "I'll go. Where am I meeting her?"
Barney gave him the address on the piece of paper.
"She knows that a short, moody Englishman is coming to hang out with her," he told Lee.
"Gee, thanks."
"You're welcome."
Lee took the paper and left, wondering just what the hell he was doing, but then again, maybe it was time to move on from Kate. She was clearly moving on from him, if she even liked him to start with, which he was seriously doubting right now. His head was ready to explode from all the thinking and going in circles. Barney was right. A night of fun couldn't hurt at all.
...
"It's Lee," Toll said, incredulous. Kate looked over her shoulder to see Lee walk in and meet a woman at the bar. They started chatting. She just knew it was Dina from the look of her. So Barney hadn't been bluffing. He had forgotten to mention that Dina was stunning.
"Wow," she said, swallowing. "He's got a date."
"It's about time. The poor guy's been shattered over Lacy for far too long," Toll said. He was just relieved that Lee was moving on. It meant that he wasn't stuck on Kate either, if he ever had been. Toll still wasn't sure about that.
"Good for him," Kate said absently. Lee was smiling at this woman, and the woman was smiling back. She hated the wrench in her heart at this. If this was Barney's plan all along, then it was working. Sneaky bastard.
"So what did you think of dismantling bombs?" Toll asked, changing the subject. They had done this together earlier in the day after Barney had brought her back and before she had spent time with Lee again.
"It was interesting. It's not something I want to do, though. No offense, but it scares the shit out of me being that close to an explosive," she answered, laughing a little. Her mind then flashed back to the house when the bomb had gone off, throwing her down and killing the other law enforcement officers, before she met Alejandro.
"I get it. It takes a special sort," Toll agreed.
Lee was now drinking with this woman. Kate did her best to stop taking peeks over there, to keep her focus on Toll. Did Lee even know she was there? It didn't seem that way. He was way too relaxed. She had noticed that he seemed almost on edge around her lately.
"Pool table's clear," Toll noted. "Still wanna do a round?"
"Sure," she nodded. The distraction would be good. She followed Toll and took the pool stick from him and watched him set up. She took one look behind her again to where Lee was standing, and her heart jumped when she saw him staring right at her. She gave a small smile before turning back to Toll. She'd give anything to know what he was thinking right now.
...
Son of a bitch, was what Lee was thinking. He couldn't believe his rotten damn luck. He agreed to go out and have fun, and there was Kate and Toll right there having their date. If Barney had something to do with this, he'd kill him.
"I haven't gone out in at least ten years," Dina was saying. Lee had to give Barney credit. The woman was stunning. She just had a lot of baggage. Then again, who didn't?
"So what do you want to do?" he asked. "Since it's your first night out in ten years?"
She smiled, flushing a little.
"I used to love pool," she said, looking wistfully at the tables. "I played with my Dad all the time before he died."
"Yea?"
"Yea. Is that really cheesy or what?" she asked, laughing.
"Not at all," he assured her. "Come on."
"But...they're taken," she said, following him hesitantly. Lee surged forward.
"Excuse me," he said to Toll, who looked up at him. "Mind if we join in?"
"Um...sure?" Toll answered, feeling confused.
"You know him?" Dina asked.
"Yea. This is my pal Toll. We work together," Lee explained. "This is Dina." He intentionally left Kate out. He wasn't sure why he was angry at her. He felt she somehow knew he was trying to move on and made sure she had a front row seat, but he was fairly certain she couldn't have known. Not unless Barney had told her.
"Nice to meet you," Toll responded, reaching to shake her hand.
"That's awesome!" Dina said enthusiastically, shaking it. "What are the odds?"
"What are the odds indeed?" Lee echoed, finally looking at Kate. She didn't respond.
"I'm Kate," she said instead, facing Dina. "Toll's date." Her emphasis on "date" was pointed.
"Nice to meet you, Kate," Dina beamed. Kate couldn't hate this woman. She was too nice. Toll handed Lee and Dina sticks, and Lee chalked his tip a little excessively.
"So, us against you guys?" Toll asked, clarifying.
"Yup," Lee answered.
"This is so exciting," Dina said. "Thank you for letting us play you."
"Anytime," Toll smiled. Kate could tell he was slightly annoyed, though. Their date was getting crashed, and he knew it. She knew it too. Lee purposely avoided eye contact with her.
"You can break," Lee said to Toll, who obliged. Kate put her focus on the game, but it was hard when Dina kept giggling and Lee kept egging her on and making a point of touching her frequently. Kate missed easy shots, and it was frustrating her because she was actually good at pool.
"It's all good," Toll said, trying to reassure her. He was doing great for the both of them, but it was clear who was going to win. It was down to the eight ball, and it was Lee's shot. Kate knew he was going to get it unless she did something drastic. If it was a game he wanted, then a game he was going to get. She went over to Toll and planted a deep kiss on him. Surprised, Toll let it happen, and Kate could just feel the air change in that moment.
"Awww you were so close," Dina said. Kate pulled back to see Lee had indeed missed the shot.
"Damn," Toll said. "I figured you had that one, Lee."
"So did I," Lee commented, looking at Kate. "But sometimes things don't always end up the way we want them to."
Kate gave him a defiant look back while Toll made the shot and won the game.
"Good game," Dina said, clapping. Kate suddenly did hate her in this moment. Her perkiness was annoying.
"You wanna get out of here?" Lee asked her. Kate stiffened.
"Where did you have in mind?" Dina countered.
"Wherever the car takes us," Lee answered.
"I'm in," Dina said instantly. "Thanks for the game, Toll...Kate." She smiled at them both before sliding her hand into Lee's and walking out with him.
"He's definitely getting lucky," Toll commented once they were gone. Something about this broke something inside Kate then, and she didn't even know why. Why were they playing a game with each other? What was the point? Lee had made it clear they were just friends, so why flaunt a woman in her face the way he had? Why say what he had said?
"If it's okay with you, I'm going to call it a night," she said. "Today wore me out."
"Yea, sure," he nodded. "I'll take you home."
She grabbed her coat from the chair and walked out behind him. She felt like crying. Here was a perfect gentleman in front of her, someone who was decent and sweet, yet all she could think about was Lee with someone else.
...
Lee dropped Dina off at her place after they finished their walk. She had thanked him for a fun night and for being the last perfectly good gentleman on the planet. Lee drove home thinking about the evening. It had been fun, but he wasn't interested in Dina. He knew he had taken it too far, though, when he did his stint with the pool game in front of Kate. What possessed him to do it, he had no idea. Maybe it was to let her see what it was like to have him be with someone else. Maybe he thought it would provoke something inside of her if she really did secretly like him. Maybe he was just being more of an idiot than ever.
"Hey, Merlin," Lee said, seeing the cat in the corner as he came inside his place. He set down his keys and raided his fridge for a beer. Before he could sit, though, someone was knocking at his door. Puzzled, he sauntered over to it.
"Kate," he said, surprised to see her. She had her black leather coat on with the same outfit she'd been wearing at the bar.
"What the hell was that?" she asked.
"What was what?"
"Stop playing games with me," she ordered. "What were you doing tonight?"
"I was on a date," Lee answered. "I didn't realize that was a crime."
"You were rubbing it in my face. Why?" she challenged.
"I wasn't."
"You were. Why?" she asked again.
"I honestly didn't intend for it to look that way. I guess what is confusing me is why you care?" he countered. He put it back on her. Let her tell him.
"I don't," she said.
"Really. So you're over here upset and yelling at me after midnight for no reason," Lee commented.
"I asked you if you were okay with me dating Toll, and you said yes, remember?"
"I remember."
"Were you lying?" she asked. She had to know. That is what this all had to be about.
"No," he lied.
"You just lied again," she pointed out.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked.
"The truth!" she shouted before closing her eyes and taking a breath. She tried again. "I just want the truth, Lee."
"The truth is that I'm very happy for you and Toll," Lee said. She stared at him, trying to understand why he was doing this.
"Really. That's what you really feel?" she asked.
"Yes," he nodded. There was no going back now. Why he couldn't just tell her the truth he had no idea. Well, he did know. Kate scared the hell out of him. The fact that he had such strong feelings towards her scared the hell out of him. If it failed, he would hurt way worse than he had when Lacy left him. He couldn't do it. Why he thought he could watch Toll be with Kate was beyond him because it also hurt. He really was just so confused about it all.
"Okay," Kate said, feeling sad inside that he kept lying to her. She didn't understand it. "So tonight was not you trying to make me jealous."
"No."
Kate said nothing else. She was tired. She was emotionally drained.
"I'm sorry," he offered. She knew he was apologizing for way more than just his actions that night. He was apologizing for lying to her, for not letting himself tell her how he really felt.
"We're good," she said, knowing it was what he wanted to hear. It was the way it had to be. She had to let herself move on from him because having Lee to be honest with her was clearly not happening, and if he couldn't even be honest about his feelings, then how could she trust him to be honest about anything? She turned to leave without saying goodbye, and she felt him watch her walk all the way to her car. She didn't look back, and she didn't wave. She had no idea how their relationship was going to be moving forward. She had no idea at all.
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