A few days later, Lee woke up with a dry mouth and a headache. He had tossed and turned all night. Kate's face remained in his mind, the way she had looked when he had lied to her again the other night. He didn't really know how he was going to face her, which was why he hid in his apartment the last few days. Today, he knew he had to get up. He forced himself up and into the shower. He forced himself to eat. After debating what to do for hours, he forced himself to get on his bike and head over to her place. He had to talk to her. What he was going to say, though, he had no idea. When he arrived, she was gone. He stood looking at her apartment until he decided to just carry on to Tool's. He had nothing else he wanted to do that day. Barney would want to hear about the big fun night anyway, so he might as well get it over with.
"Have I told you how much of an id..." Barney started after Lee had finished talking.
"Don't say it," Lee cut him off. "I already know, okay? You repeating it is only making me feel worse."
Barney sighed, shifting his coffee mug on the counter top. They were sitting in the small kitchenette Tool had built in the shop.
"So what are you gonna do now?" he asked instead.
"I don't know."
"Did I mention that she's here?"
"What?" Lee asked, snapping his head up. "You saved that for last? What is wrong with you?"
"You didn't exactly give me a chance to tell you," Barney noted.
"I'm out of here," Lee said, moving quickly off of the stool and towards the door. Barney watched him go, and he felt bad for his friend. When Kate came along, he was still sitting there thinking.
"Was he here?" she asked, gesturing to the second mug beside Barney's.
"Yea. He's gone."
"I knew this was going to happen," she sighed, joining him. She leaned on the counter, her chin resting on her hands.
"Lee is like those critters you lure out of their hiding spot," Barney started. "You have to keep trying and trying, and the critter darts back a thousand times, but once they see you're genuine and won't snap their necks, they come to you and allow themselves to be touched by you."
"Okay, enough of your metaphors," Kate said, looking at him.
"Lee's a critter," Barney said, summing it up for her. "You gotta lure him out."
"Our friendship is damaged, and you're talking to me about critters," Kate said, incredulous.
"You two and the friendship talk," Barney sighed. "It's very annoying."
"I'll settle for that just so I don't lose him altogether," Kate pointed out.
"So you do like him."
"I don't know what I feel for him anymore to be honest."
"Have you talked to Toll?"
"No. That's the thing. He's an amazing guy, and I can't put all my focus onto him."
"Do you want to put your focus all on him?" Barney asked.
"I do," Kate nodded forcefully. "I really do."
"Right. I think you're lying to me too. Why does everyone think they can just lie to me?" Barney asked, annoyed.
"I'm not lying. I want to be friends with Lee again, and I want to date Toll."
"Liar."
"Stop, I'm being serious," Kate said.
"So you're telling me that if Lee came bustin' in here and grabbed you, kissed you, and professed his love to you, you wouldn't reciprocate?" Barney challenged. Kate got the visual stuck in her mind, but she forced herself to let it go.
"He wouldn't, and that's my point. I can't wait around forever for someone to make up their mind whether they can let me in or not," Kate said. "He's made his choice that he can't, so I will settle for being his friend."
"You're an idiot too," Barney groaned. "And what is Toll in all of this? Collateral damage?"
"No, he is someone that I genuinely like and could fall for."
"Could?"
"Will," Kate said firmly. She stood up then, and Barney looked at her seriously.
"You're making a mistake."
"I'm not."
"Kate..."
"I'm going to find Lee and sort this out," she said, waving her hand. "See you later."
Barney stared after her and just knew that all of this was going to end in a disaster, but he had no idea how to stop it.
...
Lee turned the knife over in his hand as he sat in his apartment. He had forgotten he had ordered it, and now it was here. With things going the way they were for him and Kate, he had no idea what to do with it. He'd been out all day and just returned now, hoping that if Kate had come looking for him, she'd missed him. Fate was not on his side that day, though.
"Lee?" Kate's voice called. She was standing outside his door, and he had no choice but to answer it.
"Yea?" he said, pulling the door open. The knife was in his hand, which was by his side.
"Can we just forget about the other night?" she asked. He surveyed her carefully. What was she asking for here?
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, let's forget about it all. Let's skip the night altogether and go back to being friends," she said. "I'm sorry I pushed you. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry I thought you were trying to make me jealous when that wasn't the case. I want to erase it all and just start again."
"Just like that?" he asked.
"Yea," she nodded. "I'd rather be your friend than lose you altogether."
"Me too," Lee agreed. This was true. Not having her in his life at all was worse pain than having her in his life and being with someone else. He knew she was pretending to think he hadn't been trying to make her jealous when that was exactly what he had been doing. If she was going that far to get their friendship back, then he'd go with it.
"Okay," she said. "So...we're good?"
"We're good," he nodded, smiling.
"What's that?" she asked, pointing at the knife in his hand.
"Oh," he said. "It...it's actually for you."
"For me?"
"Yea. Like a graduation type thing. You've successfully completed your training with me," he said.
"That's very sweet of you," she said. "So...what is it?"
He handed the knife over to her. She took it carefully, her eyes widening. Lee had designed it with the creator and had the letter "K" carved into the handle as well as a vine of roses. He knew they were her favorite.
"Oh my God, Lee," she breathed. "You shouldn't have."
"Every knife thrower should have their own customized knife," Lee shrugged. "It was nothing."
"Well, I've never been given a more thoughtful gift," she said. "So thank you." She hugged him then. Lee didn't tense this time, and it took all he had not to let it linger.
"You're welcome."
"Did you want to grab some dinner?" she asked, stepping back. Lee knew it was her way of smoothing it all over, and he thought maybe it wasn't a good idea since he was still crazy about her, but for once, he decided to indulge himself.
"All right," he agreed. What could it hurt?
...
"What's got you in a twist?" Gunner asked Toll.
"Nothing," Toll answered. His leg was vibrating, though. Kate wasn't answering his messages. She had told him she was having dinner with Lee, but that was almost two hours ago. Lee wouldn't do that to him, would he? Toll liked to think that Lee had more loyalty to their friendship than that. Besides, Kate didn't show interest in Lee, did she? He frowned, thinking.
"I know that look," Gunner insisted. "That is the 'I'm freaking out' look."
"I am not freaking out," Toll snapped.
"Sure you're not," Gunner nodded.
Toll didn't protest or argue. He simply got up and walked away. He thought back to the other night at the pool game. Toll had noticed Lee looking at Kate constantly. After a while, Toll got the feeling that Lee was trying to make Kate jealous, and why do that unless you liked the person? Toll's head hurt. Why didn't Lee just out and say he wanted to be with Kate? Why stuff it down? And did Kate like Lee? He couldn't think of any tell she had given that said this, but it didn't stop him from worrying.
...
Kate and Lee were walking together along the street. Lee had to keep telling himself all night that he was not on a date even though it sure as hell felt like one. They had done their best all night to keep the Just Friends hat on, but it was ready to pop off. Maybe Lee was crazy to think he could just be friends with her. Maybe this whole thing was ridiculous, and he should just let her go and be out of his life for good.
"You're quiet suddenly," he said to her.
"I just got thinking about my parents," she replied. It was a lie. She was thinking about Liam.
"You miss them?"
"All the time. I haven't gone to visit them in a while. I should."
"It wouldn't hurt."
"What about you? Where's your family?" Kate asked. She had to deflect or else she might spill about Liam. She didn't know why it was so hard to talk about, but the more time she was around Lee, the more she wanted to tell him.
Lee inhaled and exhaled slowly. He knew that was going to come eventually.
"My family is Barney and the gang," he answered.
"No parents or siblings?" she asked, startled.
"No," he lied.
"Oh."
"It's all right. I had a very different kind of upbringing," Lee told her. She had stopped walking then as they were at her door of her apartment.
"Are you really never going to tell me about Lizzie?" she asked. He inhaled sharply.
"I don't talk about her ever."
"Why not?"
"I don't talk about things that I lost," Lee told her after a moment. "It's too painful."
"That makes me feel sad for you," Kate said simply. "Knowing you lost someone in a painful way." Like I did.
"Don't," he urged. "I'm really all right." They were standing there in the lamplight, and Lee felt the pull to kiss her again. Was that ever going to stop? Kate must have felt it too because she took a step towards him.
"Lee," she said. He allowed her to put her hand on his cheek. He allowed her to press herself against him. He allowed himself to put one arm around her, but then he saw Toll's face in his mind, and he couldn't do it.
"Good night, Kate," he said firmly, separating himself from her. Kate didn't stop him even though she really wanted to. This made her feel very guilty as she was dating Toll and had told Barney she would fall for Toll, so she should not be almost kissing guys who weren't the guy she was dating. The interesting part, though, was how far Lee had let her go before turning way. Maybe Barney was right. Maybe Lee was the critter. She went inside feeling confused and anxious. What was she going to do now? She guessed they would keep going on as friends, like they had agreed. She felt crazy for thinking she could handle it. Seeing that Toll had messaged her a lot, she finally answered him. Perhaps she needed to put more focus onto the guy she was dating. Maybe the rest of it would go away and soon. Maybe.
...
Lee found Toll on is doorstep when he got home. He felt cautious as he got off his bike.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Where were you guys?" Toll countered.
"It was just dinner, Toll," Lee answered, making to move past him. Toll held out his arm to stop him.
"Should I be worried?" Toll questioned.
"About what?"
"Don't play stupid with me. You know how much that annoys me," Toll growled.
"There is absolutely nothing to be worried about, Toll," Lee promised. "Can I go inside now?"
"I really like her, Lee," Toll blurted out.
"I can see that," Lee nodded.
"I just...I don't want this to be another incident where you get the girl I like," Toll went on. Lee closed his eyes. Of course. Lacy.
"Lacy pursued me," Lee started. "I didn't even know you liked her. You had one drink with her."
"Yea well, it feels like I'm always in second place, and I'm just tired of that," Toll said. "So, if you're planning on repeating history, can you just not?"
"I'm not going to do that," Lee told him. "I don't chase after girls my friends are dating. Come on, Toll, give me some credit."
Toll regarded him carefully for a moment.
"All right," he said finally. "I will take your word for it."
"Good."
They stood squared off until Toll moved to let Lee past. Lee went inside without another word, and Toll waited a moment before going to his truck and driving away. Lee stood in his place with his back leaning against the door and feeling very guilty for still wishing he had kissed Kate goodnight. He wished he had told her about Lizzie. He wanted to, but he was right in saying that it was too painful. Losing a sibling was not something he could easily talk about much less talking about losing his whole family. He'd keep it under wraps for now. If ever he found the right person aside from Barney, he'd tell them. For now, it was his and his alone.
Next chapter they are all finally going on a mission! Things are gonna start happening. Stay tuned and don't forget to leave me a review :)
