Pieces of a Heart


It was a funny thing, Metchi thought, not having enough money to pay the people who'd just saved her life. Almost enough to make her sick to her stomach, which she was, though for a completely different reason than her ill-timed conscience sprouts.

The shape of the makeshift hospital grew smaller behind her as she made her way toward Pastoria's northern border, looking to the side every few seconds to make sure no one was following her. Not that it would've been hard, considering she was almost comatose and there were two incredibly distinct Pokemon walking behind her.

Shadows fell over them as they passed the threshold of the city's borders, venturing onto the wild flora of Pastoria's outskirts. Metchi tried to be careful as she walked –as much as she could with her head throbbing anyway– lest she trip and fell on top of any of the myriad of colorful and possibly poisonous plants littering the ground all over.

"Try to look around," she said, voice barely a whisper. "See if you find a stream or a clean spot to rest."

She could feel two pair of eyes on her back, half judging and half concerned. The sound of crinkling leaves became louder as Lyserg hurried toward Metchi and placed her head on top of the girl's shoulder. A low whine reverberated through her throat.

Metchi bit her lip. "I can walk by myself, thanks. Besides, there's nowhere I need to fly to yet," she spat out, tone bitter. "We'll stay here for a while. Try to recover our strength."

"Free…" she heard Monferno scoff behind her. As she looked over her shoulder, she found him with his arms crossed, glaring at her.

"Shut up," she scoffed back. "I told you to stop following me."

He didn't move an inch. There was no anger in his eyes, just disappointment and expectation.

"Stop staring at me!" she bellowed, turning toward him with her hands balled up into fists. "You paid me back already, so just go back to your trainer! I don't want you around!"

She started walking away before she even finished speaking. Her eyes began to sting, and her voice had wavered for a moment, almost cracking.

Luckily, she found a distraction pretty fast. Less than a stone throw's away she noticed the gleam of water past a tall berry bush, and headed there without delay. She made her way through it, staining what was left of her clothes in sticky berry juice, and set foot on the other side, barely a few inches from a large pond of crystalline water. It didn't seem big enough to be considered a lake –about twice her height in width–, but it would suffice for the time being.

A smile teased at the edges of her lips. At least she had something to drink. After having survived being punched, stabbed, burnt, slashed, poisoned and almost exploded, dehydration would have been like a pretty lame way to go.

She kneeled just before the edge and dove both hands into the water, its cold sending a blissful chill throughout her arms. Behind her, she still felt the two Pokemon's glares on her back.

"Come drink," she said. "The smudges of dirt near the shore mean other Pokemon come here, so the water's safe."

Cupping water between her hands, she splashed her face gently and rubbed off the disgusting scent of antiseptics off it. The breath she took right after, as droplets fell down her chin and into the dirt below, was so pleasantly cool and deep she almost fell asleep on her knees. Dear Mew she needed a nap.

The ripples on the surface of the pond ceased after a few seconds, reflecting Metchi's face with uncomfortable clarity as she parted her eyelids open. The picture was almost familiar enough to be comforting. She read every scar, every crease and wrinkle like the lines of her own palm, like the withered pages of her favorite old book.

However… there was an oddity about the reflection. Something that didn't fit with the rest of her face, something that didn't belong.

She scurried to her feet before her mind had a chance to ponder more on the subject. As she regained her balance and turned around, she found the Monferno and Tropius still staring at her, their gazes unrelenting.

A sigh escaped her lips, prickles of anger washing over her body.

"What do you want me to say?" She threw her hands up slightly, letting them fall again on her hips. "I fucked up, okay? I had my one chance to be a hero and I blew it. I can't take on Team Galactic anymore, not without Azelf anyway." She spat the name out as if it were a mouthful of poison. "I'll just… deliver these blueprints to Rowan and pray the Association can do something about it."

Looking away was all she could do at the looks they gave her. What did they think, that she was okay with all this? That she was stoked because she finally got a vacation from trying to save the world? That had been her life, what she looked forward to every time she woke up. Now that Azelf was gone… what was left for her to do?

What was left of the hero she'd been trying to become? Nothing, except for a few memories. Nothing, except…

One last time, she looked over her shoulder. Her reflection stared back, almost defiantly, though it was probably just the oddity which had been following her ever since she'd woken up.

Why? She asked no one, a deep sadness washing over her. If Azelf's gone, then why are they still…?

The reflection blinked as she did, perfectly mirroring the golden light in her eyes.


Inyssa didn't mean to make a big, dramatic entrance to Floaroma, but it was kind of hard to avoid while dropping in the middle of the town square atop a gigantic dragon Pokemon.

Okay, she might have landed with a bit of a flair, flipping her hair to the side and shoving her hands into her pockets, staring back at the surprised citizens with an aloof, nonplussed look that had definitely been rehearsed once or twice. However, the convenient gust of wind as Palmer's Salamence flapped his wings –making the landing infinitely cooler– had been entirely accidental, though appreciated.

Barry landed next to her with a deaf thump, much less graciously than she had. He stood up and smiled, his disheveled mess of blond hair completely spiked upwards thanks to the supersonic speeds at which they had just traveled.

"I wanna do that again," he said, voice hoarse and eyes wide open.

She smiled back and bumped her shoulder against his, "Cool your jets. The last thing we need is for you to become an adrenaline junkie, on top of being already addicted to sugar."

"Man, I'd be freaking unstoppable." He sighed dreamily, gaze lost someplace else.

They waved their goodbyes to Palmer as he took to the skies once more. While Barry stared at his and Salamence's ever shrinking silhouettes –a wistful look on his face– Inyssa looked around a bit.

Their entrance seemed to have been already categorized as 'one of those things', since most people who'd looked up curious as they landed now went about their day with the characteristic carefree nature she remembered from her last visit. The town itself –or at least the square she was in and the surrounding hills– hadn't changed much, though there was a noticeable decrease in summer outfits all around. Floaroma might've been one of the region's warmer towns, but that meant nothing in the face of a Sinnohan winter. If there was one thing every person in the region knew, it was that once the cold came it would strike indiscriminately, no matter where one lived.

Inyssa closed her eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath, her nose assaulted by a myriad of sweet, musky aromas. The flower plantations were a few miles away, but the wind was good at carrying their scent. Last time she'd been in Floaroma the smell had been a tad too overwhelming for her, but now, mixed with the clean, cold air, she could almost begin to enjoy it.

Almost, because as much as she would have loved to, she hadn't forgotten the main reason for their visit.

She sighed as she opened her eyes again. Almost shuffling her feet, she looked all around the square while trying to locate someone. She said she would be there as soon as they arrived, right? What was taking her so l–

"Niss! Barry!"

Speak of the devil.

The voice came from behind them, amidst the crowd of people gathered in front of one of the many cafés littering the town square. They turned to see Johanna trot toward them, a crooked yet relieved smile on her face.

Inyssa stared, waiting for any kind of reaction within her. However, no anger nor pity nor any kind of emotion came to answer, and she didn't know whether to find that relieving or upsetting.

"Hi, Miss Dawn!" Barry waved.

"Hey, mom."

They exchanged a hug and a kiss on the cheek, gestures which, again, Inyssa failed to be irritated by. She even smiled back, for how much that was worth.

"It's so nice to see you two," Johanna whispered, out of breath but still beaming. "How are y– I mean, how was your flight?"

She didn't fail to notice the question she had almost asked, nor the way her gaze kept darting toward Inyssa's covered arms. Still trying to give her space, still trying to avoid overstepping her boundaries. She didn't know why, but the thought made her uncomfortable.

Her mother looked… better, if she was any good at judging these sort of things. Her skin had gained back a smidge of color, and now the only wrinkles visible on her face were those caused by age. The bags under her eyes had shrank significantly, too. All in all, she seemed to be keeping her promise of staying clean.

For now, a bitter part of her said. She shook her head and pushed that voice back to the depths of her mind.

"…and that's why my hair looks kinda anime right now," Barry finished explaining. "It was really, really cool."

"Well, I'm glad you managed to enjoy yourselves," said Johanna, forming a nervous smile. "You two deserve a break after… everything that's happened." Inyssa noticed the woman's hands fidgeting, her fingers curling around each other. "Speaking of which, Niss, I adore your new outfit! The mix of styles and colors gives you a beatnik, almost kalosian vibe, don't you think?"

"Uh… sure." Inyssa squinted, having no idea what any of that meant. "I just picked whatever looked cool."

Johanna stroked her chin, smiling to herself. "As I told you before, comfort begets style. Though…" She leaned forward on the ball of her feet, squinting at Inyssa. "While the colors of your outfit are mostly complementary, I can't help but feel that the pink of your hat looks somewhat out of place. Have you considered getting one that's completely white or…?"

"Not getting rid of the hat, mom," she said, tone irritated.

"…Yes, of course." Johanna gulped, looking almost disappointed. "Anyway… I know it's not quite lunch time and it's a bit too late for breakfast, but would you like to get something to drink back at the Pokemon Center?"

"Something to drink sounds good," Barry nodded, his smile a bit too forced. "How about it, Niss? You want some tea?"

"No more cheap tea for me. It smells great but I'm always disappointed by the taste," she said. "Anyway, you two can go on ahead and I'll join you later for lunch. There's something I gotta do first."

As a token of appreciation, she decided to ignore the uncomfortable silence following her statement, along with the concerned looks of both Barry and her mother, set on her.

"Darl… I mean Niss, are you sure you want to do that now?" Johanna's lips pursed as she spoke, forming a bright red line across her face. "I don't mean to pry, it's just…"

"It's fine," she said. "I'd just like to get it over with as soon as I can, so I don't have to be thinking about it all day."

Johanna froze for a moment, then nodded. "Y-yes, of course. We… we'll be waiting for you with something tasty for lunch, then. I'll go ahead and order."

"Thanks," she replied. Then, a couple seconds after she added, "Uh… it's, really nice to see you again, too."

Johanna shot her a tiny, appreciative smile, then turned and began walking toward where she remembered the Pokemon Center was. She was left alone with Barry, who placed a hand on her shoulder, reassuringly.

"Good luck with… that." He smiled. "Anything you'd like me to order for lunch?"

She wasn't paying much attention, though she did feel the uncomfortable rumble in her stomach. Maybe skipping dinner last night had not been as wise a decision as she had believed it to be.

Besides, looking at what she would be doing for the next hour… maybe some food would be nice.

"Anything with lots of meat and cheese and carbs," she said. "And tomatoes. No lettuce, though."

"So… a burger?"

"…Yeah. I could go for a burger. Or three." She shrugged. "Anyway, see you later."

The feeling of Barry's concerned gaze set on her back did not leave her until almost a minute after she'd started walking away, heading directly toward the northern flower fields of Floaroma.


Inyssa was not able to find Bertha's grave.

She stood completely still, powerful gusts of wind dancing around her, carrying a myriad of sweet and musky scents which made her head swim a little. She welcomed the dizziness. It helped distract her from the heartbreaking truth that, after making such a big deal out of coming back to Floaroma to pay her respects to Bertha, she could not for the life of her remember where she'd buried her.

Slowly she craned her neck to the sides, taking in the sight. The nurse had been right; the flowerbeds had changed a lot ever since the last time she had visited. No matter where she looked, a more vibrant and explosive field of colors met her gaze, almost an eyesore really. And since she stood atop the town's hill, the contrast as the colorful horizon met with the bare, empty blue of the sky was hard to ignore.

It would have been a beautiful sight, in other circumstances. Right now, it simply felt as if the world were making fun of her.

Probably should've marked the grave with something other than a flower, she thought. Kind of a bad idea, in retrospect.

"I don't wish to interrupt." Uxie's voice sprouted from the depths of Inyssa's mind, startling her. "But I might be able to help you."

Inyssa hurried to clear her throat, while rubbing her eyelids on the fabric of her sleeve.

"This is a private moment," she said. "I'd like to be alone."

"I understand. However, remember that I have access to your memories and, as such, would be able to locate the place you're looking for without trouble."

Inyssa bit her lower lip. Part of her wanted to refuse out of pride alone; she would find the grave herself, and if she couldn't then she would live with the shame and anger, wearing them as punishment. However…

She was also tired, and sad and just not feeling great overall. Maybe getting help just once wouldn't hurt, maybe she could leave the shame and anger for another day and instead focus on paying respects to poor Bertha. Maybe… maybe she didn't feel like feeling like shit.

"Sure. Go ahead."

Nothing happened at first. The only sound besides that of the wind was Uxie's voice as it muttered to itself, probably busy digging through her memories, trying to find the right one. Any other day she might have felt horrified by the invasion of privacy, but now she couldn't care less.

"Ah, here we go. Walk northeast for a minute or so and you should find it. I'll guide you."

Inyssa did as she was told, too numb to even try arguing. She walked slightly downhill at a brisk pace, zigzagging as to not accidentally step on any flowers. As they approached what looked like a mini-valley in between two of the small hills, a memory teased itself from the edges of her mind, faintly. She'd been here before.

"Hopefully you will be able to search your own memories in the future, along with those of others and the environment itself," said Uxie. "All you need is practice, and the will to improve. Once you get accustomed to my abilities you will…"

"Uxie."

There was a beat of silence. "Yes?"

"Not now, okay?" She looked over her shoulder at its transparent body, her expression blank. "I'm up for talking about this stuff later. But I'd like to be alone now."

"…Of course. I apologize."

She nodded absentmindedly, then turned again toward the flower field. After a few seconds of looking she noticed a rectangular patch which looked slightly more elevated than the rest of the soil around it, covered in smaller, younger flowers than most. And in the very center, standing out like a sore thumb, was the one Barry had helped her place on top of the grave. Half red and half pink, the six petals of the gracidea moved gently with the wind, as if cradled by it.

Almost a minute passed before she came back to reality, her gaze previously distant and the green of her eyes faded. Slowly, and gritting her teeth at the pain in her back, she lowered herself and kneeled in front of the grave, placing her palms on top of her thighs. She stared blankly at the gracidea, the usual chaos inside her mind strangely quiet and calm.

With nothing else to do, she wondered. Should she have brought something? The normal thing –at least as far as she knew– was to bring a bouquet of flowers to the grave, but she couldn't begin to imagine where she would get one more beautiful than the flowers all around her. Gracideas didn't exactly sprout from trees… or at least she didn't think so. If they did, then they were probably very rare trees.

Well… what else could she offer? Maybe her words? What could she possibly say? All options were…

Inyssa paused, eyes widening, then sighed as she looked over her shoulder.

"You're still here."

A couple seconds passed, and then Uxie spoke. "Evidently."

"Why? I told you to..." Her voice trailed off, and she sighed. She didn't have the energy to argue. "Whatever, do what you want. Not like I'm making much progress here alone anyway."

"You seem to be doing well, considering the situation," said Uxie. "I may not understand most human customs, but the act of mourning for the dead is one which I'm quite familiar with. From experience, I've found that a bit of company tends to help, even if it's not the company the mourner expects."

Inyssa sniffled, blinking rapidly. "Is that what I'm doing? Mourning?"

"Are you not?"

She thought about it for a moment. "I don't know."

A few seconds passed in silence. Consecutive gusts of wind hit her on the back, slightly ruffling her hair and making a wave on the landscape as it pushed the rows of flowers before her. The already strong scent became even heavier, and she couldn't help scrunching up her nose. Her clothes would probably smell of flowers for the next few weeks.

She took a deep breath, scratched her cheek and –before she even registered what she was doing– began to speak.

"Wanna know what's the worst part?" She noticed the way her voice was cracking, but decided to ignore it along with everything else. "Like, about all this."

Despite not being able to see Uxie, she felt it raise an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"I don't… feel as bad as I was expecting to. I can't even bring myself to cry." She let out a low, heavy chuckle, shaking her head. "Isn't that fucked up?"

"Is it?"

"Yeah, it is," she said. "And I hadn't considered it until now but… it's been a while since I thought about what happened here in Floaroma, and about Bertha. There's been so much crazy stuff ever since. And now that I'm here, it feels like it happened a lifetime ago."

"That is not surprising. What you have just described is the process of grieving," Uxie explained. "From my experience, time heals all wounds. Some sooner than later, though it depends on their gravity."

Inyssa leaned back and hugged her legs, unconsciously shrinking into herself. She felt a weird ache in her chest. "That's not how it should work."

"What do you mean?"

"People shouldn't forget the people they loved just because they died. Doesn't matter how long it's been." She looked down at the grave, wincing. "We should have to carry their memories and that pain of loss with us until we die."

She couldn't usually tell when Uxie was feeling something specific, but after she said that it became painfully clear that she had startled the legendary Pokemon. For a moment she felt a tinge of sadness, though it was quick to conceal it.

"That… would be a torturous existence, don't you think?"

"Maybe. But that's the kind of respect Bertha deserves." She closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against her knees. "I'm the only one who knows how brave and wonderful she was, the only person who can mourn her, and I can't even do that right."

"It can't be helped. This kind of pain always eases, sooner or later."

A slight crease formed on her forehead. "Not always. What about my sister?"

"Has that pain not eased as well?"

"Not like this, with Bertha," she said. "There's rarely a day when I don't think about Shadi."

"That is to be expected. She was an incredibly important part of your life, even if your memories surrounding her are somewhat hazy." Inyssa frowned at that comment, though she didn't feel like asking what Uxie meant by it. "On the other hand, you knew Bertha for less than a month before she died. Your grief toward her passing is, understandably, not as powerful."

"Maybe it should be." She looked up at Uxie again, frowning. "I was everything to her, so why isn't it the other way around? What kind of fucking person am I that I can't even suffer her death right!?"

The wind carried her scream throughout the flowerbeds, leaving behind an echoing silence. It immediately dawned on her that she had said too much. Then again, it wasn't like Uxie couldn't read her mind and emotional state whenever it wanted, anyway. Not much harm in letting it all out in its presence.

Maybe you can find another way, that familiar voice said from inside her mind. If you can't hurt enough emotionally, you could always…

A terrible chill ran down her spine, and unconsciously she grabbed onto both her wrists, as if wanting to protect herself. She gulped, scrunched up her face and prayed to every deity she could think of that Uxie had not heard that intrusive thought. She promised she would not listen to them, anyway. They had no power over her anym–

"Inyssa." Its voice rang in her mind, and she felt a rush of panic wash over her body. "I understand your point of view, but I believe you are looking at this problem the wrong way."

"Y-yeah? How so?"

"Instead of thinking about how you would like to pay your respects, how about you try to imagine what she would have wanted?"

She raised her face from her knees, furrowing her brow. "What… she would've wanted?"

"According to what you have said, that Bidoof seemed to have a powerful affection toward you," said Uxie. "If so, don't you think she would have wanted you to move on from her death, and be happy? I can't imagine your suffering would bring her any kind of closure, wherever she is now."

"'Dunno." She tried to shrug nonchalantly, though it looked more like a spastic shake of her shoulders. "Still doesn't feel right."

"I don't blame you for thinking so. However…" Uxie deliberated for a moment. "In truth, I doubt you will ever fully forget those who have passed away, those whom you have loved. Even if the pain eases, you might find traces of their memory in your day to day life. The color of someone's eyes might remind you of them, or perhaps a certain sound or scent will trigger a dull ache in your chest without you knowing why.

"Such is the power of memories. As my apprentice, I hope you'll learn not to dwell on them, and instead focus on how to extract their strength. I'm sure you'll understand, in time."

Inyssa rolled her eyes. "And you're back to talking about that. You're like a really shitty sales pitcher, you know that?"

"…Again, I apologize."

Forcing herself to look up, she let her gaze fall on the gracidea once more. For some reason, the color of the petals looked less faded now.

"It's okay."

A grunt of effort escaped her lips as she placed a hand on the ground, pushing herself to her feet. The world spun for a moment, her back flaring in pain, and when her vision adjusted she could've sworn the light of the sun felt brighter. She had to squint to find the way she'd come from.

"I think that's enough mourning for today." Her voice came out thin, and tired. "And… thanks. For what you said. You're not as annoying as I thought you'd be"

There was a pause, and then she felt Uxie smile. "Always at your service, my liege."

She pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. "…Fucking dork."


Barry and Johanna did not have a hard time finding a table, since the Pokemon Center was pretty much empty by the time they arrived.

He found it surprising only until he decided on what food to order, after which his mind was set free of that particular dilemma and was able to re-focus. Now that he thought about it, it was kind of expected. Floaroma was literally in the middle of nowhere; a solitary, peaceful corner of the region whose adjacent routes didn't take one to any towns with Gyms in them. Were it not for the town's dock and honey plantations, he doubted any trainer would ever willingly pass by.

A shame, he thought as he sat down across Niss' mom with a cup of hot chocolate on one hand and a freshly baked donut on the other. It's super nice and cozy here. And I'm pretty sure I could take a nap anywhere in town and no one would be weirded out.

As tempted as he was to test his theory out, he was abruptly shaken from his train of thought by the sound of Johanna's voice.

"You know, I think this only the second time I've been in Floaroma." She absentmindedly began to pour the small packets of sugar she'd brought into her cup. All eight of them. "Even when I was a Contest star, my agents never had me come here for photo shoots or any of the sort. You'd think a place this beautiful would be a no brainer to build a Gym or a Contest stadium in, but apparently not."

"Heh, I was kinda thinking the same thing," he said. "Can you imagine how cool this town's Gym leader would be? They'd use a bunch of awesome grass Pokemon and they'd be all about flowers and plants and…" His voice trailed off, and he narrowed his eyes. "…Wait, that's just Gardenia."

Johanna's lips pursed in an attempt not to laugh, though the spasms shook her hand enough for the sugar to fall everywhere except inside the cup. Barry couldn't help but reel a bit. The wrinkles on the sides of her eyes, the way her face scrunched up, the single crease that formed on her forehead… it was exactly the same as when Niss did it. Uncannily so.

"I'm not one to think about these sort of things," she said, once she gathered herself, "but I'd hazard a guess it has something to do with the Association and the image they're trying to show to the world."

"Image? What image?"

"Of strength, obviously." Johanna rolled her eyes –once again, in much the same way Niss did–, though it didn't seem aimed at him. "They want to show all the other regions that our League is the strongest and that our trainers are the most dedicated, kind of a 'Look how amazing we are. You better not mess with us or you'll end up like Kanto' type of message. As far as ways to prevent another war go I'd say it's a little tacky, but I can't argue with the results."

He had a bit of trouble following the woman's rambling train of thought, though after so much practice in similar situations with Niss, he managed to at least understand the core of what she was trying to say.

"That's… super dumb." He frowned. "Who says you can't like flowers and be a strong trainer? Well I'm not a big fan of the former because I'm allergic to most of them but Niss likes them! And she's the strongest trainer I know… not counting Cynthia, I guess."

Johanna's eyes widened, and her mouth formed a small O. "Hold on. Does Inyssa really like flowers? Besides roses, I mean?"

"Yeah! She really likes snowdrops and scillas and wisterias and… uh, that one that kinda looks like a blooming Pecha berry?" He scratched his head, looking down. "Crap, what was it called?"

"A gracidea?" offered Johanna.

"Yeah, that! She likes it 'cause it's super rare." He furrowed his brow, deep in thought. Wasn't there another one? "…Oh, I forgot about lavenders! She loves those though only because of the smell. The perfume she always uses actually smells like lavender."

Johanna's eyebrow quirked up, and she formed an amused smile. "Does it, now?"

"Yeah, it does!" He smiled, oblivious to what Johanna was implying. "Anyway, how come you didn't know? Didn't you design that rose outfit she used to fight Fantina?"

Her smile turned sour in the time it took Barry to blink. "That one was a no-brainer. Even as a kid she's always loved roses." She let out a small sigh, looking down at her cup. "But I didn't know if she began liking other flowers ever since. We… haven't had a chance to talk about her preferences much in the past few years. Or any other topic, really."

For a few seconds, the only sound in the building was the constant swish and swoosh coming from the other side of the counter as the nurse swept the floors. Barry tried to think of something to say, but his tongue felt tied in a knot.

"Sorry. Bad topic to bring up." Johanna cleared her throat, looking to the side. "So… how's your journey going? Did you two visit someplace interesting?"

Barry didn't answer right away, too busy trying not to pick up the intense waves of emotion coming off from Johanna. They felt like they were drilling into his mind, like a persistent, loud buzz. He didn't want to know what she felt, but it was kind of hard to avoid when she was so incredibly easy to read.

And he thought Niss wore her heart on her sleeve. With Johanna it was like she ripped it off and threw it at his face. Shame and regret were as clear on her face as if they'd been written with a permanent marker.

"Uh… yeah, I thought Eterna was kinda cool." He gulped, the fingers of his right hand nervously tapping the edge of the table. "Hey… Johanna?"

She blinked, lips pursing. "Yes Barry?"

Just when he was about to speak he felt the strong impulse to start nibbling the sides of his finger, like he did whenever he felt nervous. God… why was this kinda stuff so hard? He didn't have to, and to be honest Niss would be pretty mad at him if she ever found out, but…

"I… could tell you the stuff Niss likes now. If you wanna," he said. "Though I'm sure she'll be happy to tell you herself. Depending on how you ask."

Her whole face lit up, and he didn't know whether in relief or shame. "That's really nice of you, Barry. But as you said, I'd like to find out these things by myself once… once I get the chance to have a good talk with Inyssa." Her thin fingers fidgeted with each other over the table. "Though if I have to be honest, her taste in flowers wouldn't be the first topic I'd bring up at that point."

"What would you wanna ask her?"

"I'm not even sure, to be honest." She let out a short cackle, shaking her head. "Maybe I'd start with… asking if she's okay?"

Another laugh, another fidget of her hands. Barry wasn't an expert on these sort of things –even if by all means he should have been, considering he was Mesprit's chosen one– but he was pretty sure Johanna felt… desperate?

"You're really worried about her, huh."

Johanna nodded, the tips of her shoulders stiffening. "You have no idea. After Sarah told me everything that's happened, all the times you two ran into that group of terrorists…" She hugged herself, shivering. "I couldn't stop thinking… what if it happens again? What if this is what happened to Shadi, if this is why she disappeared? I've been so worried…"

A speck of… something unpleasant sparked in Barry's stomach, but he tried to ignore it. "Hey, if it makes you feel better, I talked Niss into doing things the safer way now. We're trying to stay out of trouble as much as possible."

"Heh… I honestly don't know what she'd do without you," she said. "But even then, I feel like this is the kind of thing a mother should talk about with her daughter, you know? But… what right do I have to do that? Sarah's been more of a mom to her than I have." She placed an elbow on top of the table and held the side of her face in her hand. "I've been trying so hard to get better and stay sober, but that's just half the problem. I'm scared to… try and be more motherly with her. What if she sees it as an insult? What if it ruins the small progress I've made so far!?"

Barry couldn't help but reel back a bit, overwhelmed by the vibrant, almost palpable desperation in the woman's voice. More than once he had to close his eyes because he'd felt them flash gold for a moment.

"Niss… wouldn't get mad if you tried to do that," he said, voice thin due to the effort of trying to keep his eyes from changing color. "She probably wants to have a talk like that, though I'm sure she'd never admit it."

"That's kind of the problem, isn't it?" Johanna sighed, fingers driving against her hair. "It's a really delicate situation. I should probably start with smaller shows of affection and work my way up, but… what if she needs me right now? She'll be an adult soon; this is my chance to try and make up for what I did." Sighing deeply, she took the cup to her lips and gulped down half the tea. "This isn't fair to either of you. I know I shouldn't be burdening you with this but… what do you think I should do, Barry? Please, be honest with me."

Oh, great, he thought. Just what he sucked the most at; giving advice to others.

"I think the first thing you should do is calm down a bit. No matter what you end up doing, being all stressed about it isn't gonna help." He took a deep breath. What the heck was he saying? "Second… honestly, just keep up what you've been doing? It's been going well so far, and even if it's not as fast a progress as you'd like it to be, it's still progress, right? Sometimes the path to get better is to go about it one step at a time."

With every word he spoke, he began to feel like more and more of a fraud. He wasn't an inspirational speaker. He had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but she'd asked for help and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to do his best, even if said best was just him rattling off whatever thing came into his mind.

"And… for the other thing you said." He thought for a moment. "I don't think you need to worry about time passing. I just turned eighteen and I still feel like I need my parents for stuff, so I'm sure Niss would feel the same. Even if it takes you a while, as long as you're there for her she'll probably be happy, no matter how old she is." He gave her a thumbs up. "Also, I promise we'll both do our best to keep each other out of trouble until then."

Johanna, whom until he'd finished speaking had clung to every one of his words, let out the breath she'd been holding and leaned back into her chair. She seemed to deflate from relief alone.

"I… I don't know what to say." She formed a lopsided smile. "Your advice isn't much different from what Sarah and Fantina have been telling me, but I guess I just needed a second opinion. Either that or I'm just that stubborn."

"If it's the second thing, that'd explain where Niss got it from."

She let out a fruity laugh. "Gods, that would explain it, wouldn't it?" There was a short pause. "Barry… thank you. I know I shouldn't have dumped my problems on you but… I really needed to hear that."

Barry's smile wavered, and he felt something heavy and cold forming on his stomach. He would've loved nothing more than to drop it there. To close the conversation and go on to talk about menial things until Niss got back, after which they could have a relaxed, if slightly awkward, lunch together. But… there was something else that needed to be talked about, and it unfortunately fell on him to take the first step.

Because he knew that Johanna needed to hear it, but also knew that Niss would never bring it up. Not as long as she held onto that pride of hers.

"There's something else, actually." He felt as if ants were running under the skin of his legs; he couldn't keep them still. "You told me to be honest, and I'm gonna respect that and say what's on my mind, okay?"

"Y-yes. Of course."

It took him a few seconds to put his thoughts in order.

"And… I think this has more to do with Niss and Shadi than you, but I think you deserve to know anyway." Johanna's expression hardened at the sound of that name. "Ugh, I should start from the beginning. You know how I turned eighteen a few weeks ago? We were in Pastoria at the time and there was a bonfire party that just happened to fall that day, so we decided to go there to celebrate since it seemed like a cool idea. And… I guess one thing led to another and to make the story short, Niss kinda got drunk?"

The reaction was immediate. Johanna's eyes shot open and her face twisted in what could only be panic, emanating from her expression toward him like a frigid gust of wind. It forced him to clench his teeth to endure it.

"S-she did what!?" Her voice wavered and jumped as she spoke. "How could she… I was sure she'd never…!"

"She didn't mean to!" He rushed to say. "It was just her first time drinking and it got out of hand and she told me after that she never wanted to drink again. Trust me, it's not… it's not like that."

"Are you absolutely sure?" she asked. "I can't chance this Barry. I can't let her go the same way I did, so if you're covering up for her…"

"It's not like that," he assured her. "I swear."

Johanna pursed her lips tight and leaned back into her chair. Even with a table between them, Barry could perfectly imagine the frenzied and fearful beating of her heart.

"Anyway, that's not what I wanted to say. After I found out she'd gotten drunk I stayed with her for the rest of the party and then took her to her room. But in the way there… she told me some stuff." He paused, then looked up at Johanna. "Stuff about you, and Shadi."

Her whole body tensed up, but she didn't reply. She simply stared, expectant.

"She doesn't remember this, and I didn't tell her about it when she asked me the next morning. I wouldn't even know how to bring it up." He rubbed the back of his neck, nervously. "I'm not good at like, paraphrasing and stuff, but the gist of what she told me is that… growing up, she always thought you and Shadi hated her?"

"W-what? What do you mean?"

"That's what she said." He shrugged. "And, like… I don't have a great memory and even back then when we were kids I don't think I would've realized because I was even more oblivious than now, but… thinking back, it makes sense? After her dad passed away she changed a bit, but not as much as after Shadi disappeared. You remember how she was before, right?" He bit his lower lip. "She wasn't nearly as skinny or pale and she smiled a lot more and… ha, I'm pretty sure she used to be taller than me." He couldn't help but form a lopsided smile. His eyes began to sting. "But after that I remember she didn't want to hang out as much, and when we did it was kind of depressing. She didn't eat much either, like she couldn't bring herself to do it unless it was just enough not to be sick."

He stopped to breathe, and also so his voice wouldn't break. It had been painful enough when he heard it directly from her, but now re-telling it was like opening the wound once more. How had he not noticed? How could he have been so blind?

"I… I know what you mean." Johanna couldn't bring herself to look at him. "After… what she did, the doctors told me she'd been pretty much starving herself, and b-because she'd done it at that age it would probably stunt her growth permanently." She gulped, face whitened. "It's all my fault. I wish I could've known how much Shadi's disappearance would affect her."

Barry felt his insides churning, but he forced himself to speak nonetheless, "That's… the thing. Thinking back, and after what she told me, I'm pretty sure that all started happening since before Shadi even left?"

"What?"

"Weren't there a few months where Shadi took care of Niss? After she lost against the Champion the first time, but before she went back for her re-match and disappeared."

"Yes, she…" Johanna scrunched up her face in thought. "I remember; she was supposed to be back for a week or so, but then I had an episode and… Sarah asked her to stay. So she could take care of both of us." Her expression darkened. "Do you think…?"

"That's when it started? Yeah." He crossed his legs, still fidgeting. "Niss told me… she told me that she doesn't remember much from those months, and that kinda scares me. I remember not seeing her much during that time, but I never asked what was going on and neither did my mom because we figured Shadi was teaching her how to be a trainer, like my dad did with me. But now… I'm not sure."

Johanna nodded, "I wish I could tell you what happened, but I also barely remember a thing from those months. It was one of my harshest and more painful relapses." She unconsciously hugged herself. "I do remember Shadi taking care of me, but I can't recall her ever… willingly talking to me. And whenever I caught a glimpse of her face she always seemed so bitter." She sighed. "And I can't blame her. She was one of the best trainers in the region and because of me she was stuck in her own home, unable to do what she loved. I stole the most important months of her life, just like I did with Inyssa. It's no wonder they both left as soon as they got the chance."

The tapping of his foot against the ground became more incessant, along with the weird heat suddenly growing from his stomach. His entire body felt wrong and uncomfortable. The cup in front of him stood full and untouched.

"Don't compare them like that," he said, slightly raising his volume. "Niss didn't leave because of you. She got an opportunity to become a trainer like she always wanted and she took it. But Shadi…" He gulped, his face reddening. "She had no right to leave. She had a little sister to take care of."

Johanna's brow furrowed. "I should've been the one to take care of h…"

"But you weren't," he cut her off. "And Shadi knew you wouldn't, but she left anyway."

"Of course she did, she hated me!" Johanna clutched at her chest. "After everything that happened, why would she stay? If I hadn't been so…"

"That's not what I meant!"

The room grew silent. Barry didn't notice the way Johanna froze, nor the sudden spike of volume in his voice.

"Just stop saying I all the time!" He threw one hand up in the air, face reddening. "This isn't about you or Shadi, it's about Niss! It doesn't matter who should've done what because in the end you both ended up abandoning her anyway!"

Johanna leaned as back as she could on her seat, eyes wide in surprise. "Barry…"

"She didn't deserve what you two did to her! It's… just so awful and shitty and I hate it!" he bellowed. "And I don't wanna be a bad friend and bring it up when I know it'll only make Niss sad but someone has to say something! She always acts like she's totally over it and there's no way this stuff could get to her but I know it does. I'm sure half the reason she works so hard is because she wants to prove herself. But she shouldn't have to. A loving family's not something anyone should have to earn."

Only when he ran out of breath did he stop speaking, and just then he realized how loud he'd been. The room was deathly silent, both Johanna and the nurse at the other side of the room staring at him with surprised, somewhat frightened expressions.

Great. Now I look like a lunatic.

His heart felt like a drum inside his chest. He collapsed back into his chair and covered his face with both hands, breathing heavily. No one said anything for what felt like an entire minute, until he decided to break the silence again.

He lowered the hands to his lap, but didn't look up. "You know… I'm the one who found Niss on the floor that day, holding that empty bottle of pills. Not Shadi, 'cause she left, and not you since you were upstairs passed out on your bed." He ran a hand through his hair, pressing his forehead against his palm. "I'm… sorry for yelling and getting angry. And I'm still happy you're making an effort to get better, but I also think you owe Niss an apology. At the very least."

Across the table, a pale Johanna nodded, almost imperceptibly. Her lips were pursed into a thin, white line across her face and her eyes were welling up with tears, but she looked like she was trying to contain herself from crying.

"Y-you're right. It's the least I can do, after…" She pressed her eyes shut and shook her head. "No, I shouldn't lament myself anymore. I have to smile and be happy for her, right? And that way, when I apologize to her… hopefully she'll believe me."

Barry breathed out, his lips forming a tiny, tired smile. He felt exhausted all of a sudden, as if those two minutes of anger had taken up all the emotional energy he had for the day. The thought amused him, though he was too numb to laugh.

"She will. Don't mention I told you this, but I'm sure she'd give her right eye to have an excuse to forgive you."

"In that case, I'll apologize and continue to work as hard as I can to get better." She held her head high for the first time since he could remember, the green of her eyes bright and lively. "I swear I'll leave this sickness behind, and I'll become someone Inyssa can trust, no matter what it takes."

"I'll take you up on that promise." His smile dropped suddenly, and his expression darkened. "Now… let's hope I can find Shadi someday, so I can make her apologize too."


Shadi sighed into her left palm. Thin tendrils of some smoke-like substance rose from the outline of her cloak, coiling onto themselves and moving erratically as if reacting to her irritation. Waves of darkness spread from her body outwards with the rhythm of her breathing, shaking the air itself and causing the light bulbs hanging from the ceiling to blink in and out.

Meanwhile, Cyrus ignored her. His computer screen cast a sickly white light on the already pale canvas which was his face, a color only broken up by the charcoal-black bags under his eyes.

She took her favorite place in the room –leaning against the wall next to the fridge– and sent a scowl his way.

"Are you even listening to me?"

The click of a mouse was heard, and then he blinked. "No."

"…You replied, though."

"A response meant to emphasize the stupidity of your question," he said. "Regardless of what words I chose, the act of replying itself would've given you the answer."

She threw her hand into the air and parted her lips as if to reply, but after a moment simply shook her head and sighed. "Fair enough." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Dear Synn above I'm tired. I can't believe I fell for that one."

"Perhaps sleeping would calm your nerves?" he offered, not a speck of concern in his tone. "Someplace far from here, so that I may resume my work?"

"You're not getting rid of me that easily."

He nodded absentmindedly. "No, I suppose not. Any deviation from your habit of constantly breaking into my office to rob me of precious work hours would be, while pleasant, quite unrealistic to fathom."

Shadi's expression dulled. It was nice to know having his emotions erased didn't stop Cyrus from getting sassy at her every now and then… wait, no, nice wasn't the word she was looking for. Excruciatingly irritating, more like.

That's two words, a voice said in her head. She decided to ignore it.

"I just… I'm having trouble coming to terms with the spectacular breadth of your incompetence," she said. "I really doubt you could've fucked up the plan more if you had tried to."

"And what plan are you referring to?" asked Cyrus. "Is it the one you've agreed to help me with? Or the one you'll put into motion as soon as you sabotage mine? It seems my failings have affected you far more than they have affected me."

Shadi raised an eyebrow, a sly smile stretching across her lips. "I've been honest about my intentions from day one, Cyrus, and yet you decided to accept my truce. Don't go sounding so bitter now that you can see the writing on the walls telling you I'll be the one to come out on top in the end."

Cyrus opened his mouth as if to reply, but instead let out a long yawn as he craned his head from side to side, making his neck click. He could not have looked more bored if he had tried.

"You claim to play with cards face up on the table, all the while transparently hiding an ace in your sleeve," he said. "You're a cheater a dozen, and not a particularly talented one at that. Were it not for your powerful Pokemon and the legend you've forced to do your bidding, I heavily doubt you'd have come this far."

"And how do you think I obtained those things?" She smiled as she spoke, though her words came out fast and erratic. "Funny of you to mention trust, too. If you'd told me about your plan to kill Cynthia earlier then maybe I could've helped and my life would be a shit ton easier right now!"

Her outburst was followed by another wave of power which exploded outwardly, flaring her eyes and making Cyrus flinch for a moment, taken aback by a sudden sense of exhaustion.

He blinked a few times and shook his head. "You know, last time I talked to your sister, I told her you were much more composed than her… but I'm beginning to see the family resemblance. I'll make sure to apologize for lying to her next time we meet."

She swallowed down the myriad of responses popping up in her mind, and instead chose to rub her eyelids and take a deep, deliberate breath. He was right, as much as she hated to admit it. The mix of her frustration and Cyrus' recent failures were getting the better of her; nothing good would come of acting while in such an enraged state.

Family resemblance… those two words must've tickled the humor center of her brain –or perhaps she really was that sleep deprived– because she couldn't help but find them funny.

She supposed she had slightly miscalculated the lengths her sister would go to in order to prove herself. She had underestimated her, but then again who wouldn't have? Inyssa was talented, yes, but compared to her she was barely a pebble on the side of the road. Her determination to tackle the League challenge did fill Shadi with the slightest hints of pride, and while her outbursts toward Team Galactic had been amusing, she never considered the possibility that they might end up compromising her plans. It was simply unthinkable, nothing but a matter to laugh about.

Well, she wasn't laughing now. As much as she loathed the idea, it was time for her to intervene before Inyssa had any more chances to get in her way. It was bad enough that she had bonded with Uxie; if she learned to use those powers…

No, it wouldn't come to that. Even in the worst-case scenario, even if Inyssa somehow used those powers on her...

I can't let her see it, she thought fiercely. That day... Sarah and dad... I can't let her know. No one can know.

"I'll have a talk with Inyssa," she said, turning to look at Cyrus. "But that's as far as I'll go. Finding Mesprit falls in your hands."

"Yes, I know," he said. "All in its due time. Right now my attention is more focused on the Association's latest project."

She looked down, frowning. "They're ignoring the public's opinion and going about it the logical way. It's gotta be Cynthia who's behind this." She stroked her chin contemplatively. "Are you sure she'll be part of the strike team?"

"I am. My new spy has gone to great lengths to obtain this information for me, and I trust her abilities."

Shadi rolled her eyes. There he went again, talking about trust as if he could feel anything of the sort for any of his employees. Still, the man was good at judging people. If he believed this new spy of his to be on their side for now then she wouldn't dispute it.

Now, the strike team… that was a problem. As long as Cynthia was the leader it didn't matter who else was in it, their victory would be assured either way. Then again, that overwhelming strength of hers might just be the tool she needed to tip the scales in their favor.

Her lips curled up ever so slightly, and the air around her shivered.

"Cynthia will find this place sooner or later," she said. "Actively trying to avoid it would be pointless. The best you can do is obscure your trail and buy enough time to place all the pieces of your plan into place before she comes down on this base."

"How… fatalistic. Are you saying I should hand over this place as soon as she finds it?"

She raised her index finger toward him, an amused smile forming on her lips. "There's no need for that. You're forgetting about the one advantage we still have over her." Her eyes narrowed slightly, and the room itself seemed to grow darker. "Cynthia doesn't know I'm still alive. The element of surprise is in our hands."

Cyrus nodded to himself. "However, that advantage will disappear if you deploy any sort of counter-measure. What will happen then?"

"Unlike you, I've already placed my pieces exactly where I want them. Cynthia might be the strongest trainer in all of Sinnoh, but that only means her failures will echo more loudly than her accomplishments ever have." Pressing her thumb and middle finger together, she mimicked the act of grabbing and moving a chess piece. "All I need to do is turn her own power against her. By the time I make my first move, the match will already be over."

"Do you ever hear the things you say?" asked Cyrus, sighing. "The immense absurdity of it all? As I expected, you're not taking this seriously. You're just a child playing a game."

In a magnanimous show of maturity, Shadi stuck her tongue out at him.

"Well, this child is the only chance you have to save your team," she shrugged. "As I said, Cynthia will find you. Alone, you'd be finished, but with me at least you'll have a chance to fight back."

"I suppose I can't argue with that," he whispered, exhaustion clinging to his voice. "Though… I wonder. For someone who claims to hate the Champion, you're rather quick to compliment her strength. I find that odd."

Shadi's smile dropped, along with the atmosphere around her. She pursed her lips tight, the dull green of her eyes flashing blue for a fraction of a second.

"That's because I'm the only person in this entire region who knows what she's capable of. I made the mistake of underestimating her once, and almost lost everything in the process." Her voice lost all semblance of levity, now turned into something cold and jagged and dangerous. "But… this time, I'll be ready. I'll have Cynthia killed, no matter what it costs me."