Chapter 11 - If I Had to Say Every Time You Looked Amazing, You'd Think I Was Joking
Clarke walks back into camp as calmly as she can. The two riders and their dark as night steeds trail behind her. She grabs Finn when she nears him and pulls him towards the ark. "You can't be out here."
"What did she say?" Abby prompts as Clarke tries to move further into the camp. "Is there a chance for a truce?"
Clarke can't meet anyone's eye as she nods yes.
"What's wrong?" Finn asks as he pulls his arm gently from her grip.
"They want you." She says, the words falling off her tongue quietly. Looking at Finn, her eyes welling with tears. "If we want a truce, we have to give them Finn."
Raven's angry voice cuts over the murmuring crowd that is listening in. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"That's their offer." She shrugs as she looks at Raven.
Raven cries moving closer to Finn. "That's not an offer."
"It's punishment." Finn's eyes meet Clarke's as she nods. "For what happened at the village. Blood for blood."
Clarke hates that she has to tell them that the grounders will attack if they refuse. The people around camp start to move in on them. Shouting for them to hand over Finn. The guard tries to push them back but when someone moves in on them and bumps Raven, she turns around and starts swinging. Unfortunately, when Raven swings she hits Major Byrne and the other guards converge on her, pinning her to the ground.
Clarke leans down to Raven who is laying on the ground and tells her. "Nothing is gonna happen to him. I promise, ok?" Raven nods and the tears in her eyes break Clarke's heart.
XXXXXXXXXX
Bellamy paces his tent, running his hands through his hair. He hates that he has to do this to her. He can see it in Clarke's face that she cares for that boy. She cares for so many. Like he does. And he knows that he would sacrifice more if it would save his people, but he has 12 other people in his head counseling him.
She has no one except those who are woefully unprepared. She's only barely brushed the worst of humanity, and this will get worse for her before it'll get better.
Finally, he sits down and closes his eyes. It's time to seek counsel from the other commanders, before he makes a mistake that gets him killed. Before his runaway heart does something that he can't take back, like let Clarke's friend off the hook.
XXXXXXXXXX
"Hey, man. Byrne actually gave me a gun. I guess we really are screwed, huh?" Murphy turns to Finn, trying to cut the tension that weighs them all down. Clarke's eyes dart up to his with a quick shake of her head. "Look, we kicked their asses last time. We'll do it again."
Finn's voice is no more than a whisper and his eyes are dull with worry. "A lot of people died last time."
Wells approaches them telling them that they are reinforcing all defenses. That no one is getting past that wire. When Finn offers to go add himself where its thin, Wells grabs on to Finn's arm and starts pulling him towards the Ark. Wells reassuring that B Corridor is easier to defend if it comes down to that. When Finn's protest about hiding meet Clarke's ears she tells him that right now it's just about keeping him safe and that she's going to talk to Lincoln to try to find another way.
Murphy's forlorn expression meets Clarke's "Any orders for me, princess?" He tries for a smirk in her direction, but it falls flat as his eyes flick to Finn's retreating form. "Just trying to be helpful." he says in response to her sigh.
Clarke's hand falls on his bicep for a moment before she runs it up over her face; into the wild blonde locks at her temples.
"I tried to stop him." Murphy says but she can still hear the regret in his voice.
Her hands pull at the ends of her hair. "I know."
"He was out there looking for you, Clarke." Their eyes meet, neither one quite knowing where to go from here.
"I know." She says before turning to head towards med bay.
When she reaches Lincoln's cubical, she pulls the curtain open only to see Lincoln handcuffed to the bed. Octavia standing at his head looking frustrated and uncomfortable surrounded by technology.
Clarke grabs her mother's arm before she can zip over to the other side of his bed to check the wound she had hastily stitched up. "Hang on. He's not a Reaper anymore. He doesn't need to be restrained."
Lincoln's voice saying that he does need to be restrained surprises her and clearly frustrates Octavia if her huff of breath is anything to go by.
Abby sighs as well as if this is a battle, they've been trying to fight with him to no conclusion. "Just tell us. Is there a way to make peace?"
It's Octavia's voice that asks, "Did he leave riders behind?"
Abby nods as she confirms that two are waiting outside the gate.
"They're waiting for Finn." Lincoln says, his voice troubled. "You don't have much time to decide."
"He can't expect us to just hand over one of our own people." Clarke knows her voice is demanding of him, but she can't seem to stop. "Would he do that?"
"He wouldn't let the rest of his people die to protect a murderer." Octavia says but her tone lacks the regret that Lincoln's did. "If you don't do this, he will kill everyone in this camp."
"There has to be something else that we can offer." Abby's weak voice pleads.
"Finn took 18 lives." Lincoln's voice is a little more passionate. The loss in his voice tears at Clarke. "The commander's offering to take just one in return. Take the deal."
"How can you say that? Finn was the first person to come to you to offer peace. He's your friend." She can't stop herself from asking. Resigned to the fact that this Lincoln is not the Lincoln they knew before.
"He massacred my village. Some of the dead were my friends, too." He bites out.
"But that wasn't Finn." Clarke says, her voice pleading with him. "You know that's not who he is."
"It is now." He closes his eyes in resignation. "We've all got a monster inside of us, Clarke, and we're all responsible for what it does when we let it out."
Abby's voice sounds breathless when she asks what they will do to him. Lincoln says nothing for a long time and just when she thinks they won't get an answer, Octavia steps forward. "Fire. Because he killed the innocent, it starts with fire."
"Starts?" It's Clarke's turn to sound breathless.
"They'll take his hands. His tongue, his eyes. And anyone who grieves will have a turn with the knife." Octavia's voice is resolute. As if she can see that they are struggling with this and she would like to get this over as quickly as they can in order to not hurt these people who gave her back Lincoln. "At sunrise, the commander will end it with his sword. But I've never known anyone to survive until the sword. He killed 18, he will suffer the pain of 18 deaths. Then we can have peace."
XXXXXXXXXX
Bellamy used to like to spend his time meditating. It used to be quiet in his mind, with only his own thoughts to entertain himself with. But now, his head is never quiet. Nevertheless, he sits down at the counsel table in his mind and he is usually surrounded by the commanders of days passed.
His favorite is Lexa kom Trikru. She has a gentle way about her and a sharp mind. SheidHeda still scares him with his intensity, but Becca Pramheda always has the most relevant mind when dealing with the Mountain Men and now the sky people. Her understanding of them has helped Bellamy more than anyone else.
Today the only one that greets him at the table is Lexa. He's not sure if the others have decided to ignore him while they wait for the Sky Princess's decision or if his mind called only to Lexa.
Her face is passive, but her eyes are expressing her deep concern for him. "You desire her, don't you Bellomi?"
Unable to deny what they already know he nods, offering no explanation. "And yet, you still ask of her the thing she will hate you for." He nods again, no words falling from his lips as he stares at her. "That is unerringly wise of you. I did not think you had it in you."
"Why?" he dares to ask.
"Do not mistake my words, I am proud of how my spirit chose," her lips quirk up at one corner. "But love is weakness and you love too much. I've told you before; that your sister hinders you but at least your sister is a warrior. This girl will cause you nothing but grief. My Costia was not a warrior and my heart paid the price of learning this lesson that I'm trying to spare you."
"I understand Lexa." He shifts in his seat. "I saw how losing Lincoln almost killed my sister. I don't plan on making that same mistake."
She nods at him, but he can tell she doesn't believe him. He isn't sure if he believes himself. "Very well. Let's discuss the next steps."
With those words the other commanders file into the room and take their places at the table. SheidHeda offers only that they kill all of sky rats. The others ignore him but start to offer solutions to the problem of the Mountain Men if the sky people agree to their sacrifice.
XXXXXXXXXX
When Clarke enters the tent, she finds Finn packing a bag. Looking around in confusion she walks further into the tent. "Finn? Wells told me you were here. What are you doing?"
"I have to go." His frantic packing doesn't slow.
"Where?" Clarke's hand lightly rests on the bag in his hands to stop his frantic movements. Trying to get him to look at her. "There's nowhere to go."
"I'm putting everyone in this camp in danger." He almost shouts as he pulls the bag from her grasp. Clarke's hands come up to her chest as she takes a step back from him.
"There are Grounders everywhere, Finn." She says before moving back in closer to Finn. "They'll kill you."
"Maybe that's what I deserve." His body is a picture of regret as his voice whispers his brokenness. "For what I've done."
"You were trying to find our people. Trying to save us." She turns her head, trying to get his eyes to meet hers.
"No, I was trying to save you. Clarke." The bag drops from his hand as he moves closer to her; grabbing her hands in his.
"Finn." Her voice trails off at the look in his eyes.
"I'm in love with you." His words draw an involuntary gasp from her. "Everything that's happened, everything I've done. All that matters are that you're ok. That you forgive me. Say something, please."
Clarke stares at him for a moment, her heart in her throat, "Don't leave. Please." she says as she pulls away from him. She can't go down that path again with him. Her heart can't take any more, just as her body begs her to take a moment of respite.
XXXXXXXXXX
When Bellamy rises from his chair, he looks over to Gustus who has been standing quietly against the side of his tent. "Bring me the prisoner. If they refuse, we will send him in to "convince" them that our best chance for peace is this."
Gustus nods before Bellamy calls out to him, stopping him in the doorway. "Make sure that Marcus understands the stakes of this."
A chastened smile graces Gustus' face as he exits the tent.
XXXXXXXXXX
The grounders that surround the camp begin to chant "Jus drein jus daun!" Repeatedly until the sound becomes deafening, drawing her and Finn out of the tent to watch as they pound their weapons and feet in time with their chanting.
"This is it. We have to get you inside." She says as she tries to push Finn back toward the ark.
Murphy grabs Finn as he starts to haul him into the ark. "They're trying to scare us." He throws over his shoulder, a brief flash of his cutting eyes towards Clarke.
"I think we should pull back and go inside the station." Abby is saying as Clarke approaches her at the gate.
"No." Clarke shakes her head. "We need to prove we're not afraid."
"What if I am?" Abby asks.
Clarke can't believe her mother. "Fake it." She almost sneers. The reminder of what her mother's sins float before her eyes.
Abby's eyes cut to Clarke at the tone of voice before she tells the guard to open the gate. She moves forward to the riders who ask where Finn is. "We're not giving him up. We're ready to fight if that's what it comes to."
They shout as they turn to ride away and the grounders in the camp reply in kind. The whole camp is up in arms as the shouting continues. The fear level is palpable. Then suddenly a horn sound and the grounders all stop and eerie hush falls on the camp. The guard that stands perched at the gate calls out that someone is approaching the camp and it's not long before Clarke spots Kane's face as it rises above the long grass.
XXXXXXXXXX
"Well it is as we expected." The nonchalance in Bellamy tone raises Gustus' brow. Bellamy's heart clenches in his chest. "They are muddled by weak emotion for this murderer. Prepare the troops. They have until sundown. Then we attack."
XXXXXXXXXX
When Clarke enters the Ark, she finds Wells telling Finn that they need to get him out of here.
"Where would he go?" She asks as she approaches. The strain in her voice obvious.
Murphy is the one that answer her. "The dropship."
She's surprised at this suggestion. The Grounder's Commander is well aware that they are still using that, thanks to Lincoln's miraculous survival. "No! You know that this is the safest place for him right now."
Wells hand settles on her shoulder. "It isn't if they're turning on him. We can protect him at the dropship until we figure this thing out. Grab your gear and meet at Raven's gate in 5. She's already working on cutting the power to the fence."
"We are surrounded by Grounders." She tries one more time to plead with Wells, but he is unwavering in his decision.
"If we split up, we take the low ground, we'll make it through. We'll meet at the dropship." Murphy and Wells must have been discussing this without her because they seem to have already have this plan in place.
When someone sees them and starts to shout about giving him up, she knows that the boys are right. Murphy's temper shows itself again as the butt of his gun meets the man's throat, effectively taking him out of the equation. He raises an eyebrow at her, and she nods.
They move quickly through camp after that. Each one of them exiting the makeshift gate in 3-minute intervals. Clarke is the last through the gate, with barely enough time before the electricity is once again buzzing.
Clarke catches up to Finn less than 2 miles from the dropship. His surprise is clear when he asks her about the plan to split up. She knows that he was ready to give himself up less than half a day ago and she isn't going to let him go on his own and risk him surrendering.
"Not a chance." She says in an attempt at a bright tone.
"What do we do after the dropship? Where do we go? You think the Grounders will just leave when they find out I'm gone? Is this the best way to help our friends inside Mount Weather?" He sounds frustrated with her and she barely has time to respond when she feels a sudden pain to the side of her head and her vision fades to black.
XXXXXXXXXX
A scout rushes into his tent. He bows slightly before he all but shouts that the Murder has been seen in the forest. That they are attempting to flee with him.
Bellamy's hands perch on the map in front of him. Turning to Indra and Gustus he says, "They'll go to the dropship. Bring me that boy."
They nod before they slip off to do as he directed.
XXXXXXXXXX
When Clarke opens her eyes the first thing, she sees is Raven's worried face. She is saying something to someone that sends her head to pounding. Groans she clenches her eyes shut before opening them and trying to sit up.
Finn's worries face greets her as his hand tentatively braces her as she sits up. "How's your head?"
"Awesome." She says as she clutches her head.
"When you went down" Finn sucks in a ragged breath and Raven moved off towards the others. "I thought you were dead. Because of me."
Clarke risks cupping his cheek for a moment bringing his eyes to her as she tells him that she's still here.
"I've killed so many people." He says as he presses his face harder into her hand. His one coming up to hold her hand there.
Her face and voice softened. "Finn, the things that we've done to survive... they don't define us."
His brows furrow as her eyes trace his face. "What if you're wrong?" He whispers, "What if this is who we are now?"
Fin helps her to her feet at the sound of Wells calling back to them that they have company. That they were surrounded. Murphy piped in saying that they were probably staying out of range until dark. Wells jumped in saying that if they hit them now, they'd at least take them by surprise. Clarke looked around at the grounders passing back and forth around the dropship, reminiscent of how they hovered while Clarke and Jasper desperately tried to wire the dropship to launch.
"We don't even know how many of them are out there." She said as she looked at the others.
"I'm not hearing any better ideas, Clarke." Murphy says as they pulled back into the dropship.
Raven turned to the group as she toyed with the gun at her side. "We'll give them something.
"All they want is Finn." Countered Murphy, looking at the twitchy mechanic.
"Finn wasn't the only one at the village." She says, raising the gun to point at Murphy.
Clarke's eyes dart back and forth between Raven and Murphy. "What are you talking about?"
"Enough Grounders saw him at the village." The tears that had been welling in Raven's eyes start to trail down her face. "They'd believe he was the shooter."
"Sick bitch." Murphy growls at Raven.
"Raven, you don't mean this." Clarke starts to tiptoe between Murphy and the gun. "You know what they do to people."
"They want a murderer; we'll give them one." Raven swipes at her eyes, the tears coming faster as she tries to slow them down.
"Raven, drop your gun. Please." Clarke begs. "He's one of us."
Finn jumps in between Clarke and Raven's gun. "Stop! We're not doing this." His hand comes to rest on Raven's gun as he tries to get her to lower it. "They've got us surrounded. The only thing we can do is stay. And defend this place."
Wells and Murphy both say they are with him as Clarke looks over at Raven, who's still got tears trailing down her face. Finn points at Murphy and tells him. "Go upstairs. Watch the rear. I'll take the lower level." Point at Clarke, Wells and Raven he says. "You three, take the front gate. That's the plan. All right?"
Clarke watches Raven and Finn say goodbye before he walks over to her with a brief tilt of his head. Clarke and the other two move out towards the front. It isn't long before they spot more movement in the woods, except it is closer this time. Raven points it out to the other two. Clarke nods at her. When the figure steps out into the clearing, Clarke locks eyes with Finn who has his hands raised in surrender. "Finn? No! Finn!" She screams, tears streaming down her face as she collapses into Wells arms.
XXXXXXXXXX
Gustus walks in the tent, silent as can be. If Bellamy hadn't been watching the entrance, he wouldn't have known he was there. Bellamy only nods a greeting before turning back to the map on the table in front of him.
"Heda, we have the boy."
"Good," He says not turning back to the large man in his tent. "Prepare the pole where they can see it. I want them to watch what happens when they move against innocents."
"Yes, Heda."
"And Gustus. I want my sister and Lincoln out of their camp safely, if anything goes wrong."
He nods before moving back out of the tent. Bellamy sits back in his chair and scrubs at his face. He is ready to have this all behind them. He knows that the Sky People will never forgive him.
XXXXXXXXXX
The whole camp is standing around watching as the Grounders set up a pole. The fires burning around it as the sky starts to darken. Raven turns to Clarke and asks what they are doing. Clarke feels numb as she tells Raven that it's for Finn, that the Grounders want them to watch.
She wants to tell her that the man with the intense burning eyes is forcing them to witness what it means to have Grounder justice. That they are going to watch as a man she might love is burned and tortured, but her lips don't move, and her eyes don't turn away from their movement.
Murphy steps up just behind Clarke and Raven, his voice murderous. "We're gonna get him. We'll get in close and we'll hit them hard."
Kane's hand falls on Murphy's shoulder. "Son, there's thousands of them. Even if we could kill hundreds, they'd still wipe out this camp and your friend would still die."
"We have to try." Murphy begs.
"Abby." Raven begs Clarke's mother. Clarke feels like everything is moving in slow motion as she finally turns away from the Grounders camp. "Abby, we have to do something."
Abby shakes her head at Raven, tears welling in both of their eyes. "No, Raven."
Clarke takes off towards the gate and Murphy quickly follows her. She hands him the med kit she'd been clutching, with a mumbled "take this."
He grabs her arm trying to stop her, but she shakes him off. "What are you doing?" He asks her.
When She finally stops, she meets his eyes. "I'm gonna talk to the commander."
His face softens at the tears in her eyes. The tears that she tries to hide with a quick sniffle. His voice is tentative as he asks, "What else do you have to say?"
"I don't know. I don't know." She shakes her head. She doesn't need his pity.
He says her name softly as Raven limps over to them. "Give me your hand." She says when she reaches them. "If he won't let him go, kill him. Things'll go crazy, and we'll grab you and Finn. Clarke. You have to help him. I owe him my life."
Raven slips a makeshift knife into Clarke's sleeve. Clarke meets Raven wet eyes and her lips tremble. Clarke sucks in a ragged breath as she shoves as much steel into her spine as she can. She turns without another word, quickly dries her face before she reaches their camp. She knows she can't afford to show any weakness.
Clarke makes her way up to the stern looking guard that begged the commander to let her kill Clarke last time they were in close quarters. Indra, if Clarke recalls from the commander shouting at her. Indra presses the tip of her spear to her chest.
"I'm here to talk to your commander. Let me through." Clarke would be proud of herself if she didn't feel numb.
"Let her pass." The commander calls to Indra. "You bleed for nothing. You cannot stop this."
"No. Only you can." She says as she walks up to him. The intensity in his eyes brings the first stab of emotion to her since Finn let himself get captured. "Show my people how powerful you are. Show them you can be merciful. Show them you're not a savage."
"We are what we are." He says as he stares down at her.
"Then I'm a killer." Her blue eyes well with tears. She takes one desperate step towards him. "I burned 300 of your people. I slit a man's throat and watched him die. I'm soaked in Grounder blood. Take me."
She sees his hand twitch at his side. If she didn't know better, she would think he's reaching out for her. "But Finn is guilty."
"No. He did it for me. He did it for me." The tears drip down her cheeks.
His face is a picture of disinterest, "Then he dies for you."
"Can I say good-bye?" She asks as she wipes her cheeks.
His eyes soften on her as he nods. She turns and runs towards Finn whose hands are bound around the pole. Her hand reaching up to pull his face down towards her. Her lips brush his gently, once, twice, three times. Tears flooding down her face, soaking into their kiss.
"I love you, too." She says between gasping breaths.
"I'm scared." Finn says as he leans his forehead against her shoulder.
Clarke reaches one are around to lay against the back of his neck. "You're gonna be ok." she says as her chest heaves. Her hand that is hidden between them slides the knife that Raven had slipped her earlier into her hand. She presses the knife into Finn, sliding it up against his ribs until the knife, nicks his heart. "You're ok." she whispers one last time.
"Thanks, princess." he says, his voice weak.
Clarke pulls back from Finn her chest heaving, and her blue eyes fall to her bloody hands. She stands frozen. She knows that she should be moving away from the camp quickly, but she almost hopes that they will kill her too. Maybe then she will feel something other than hollow. The outraged cry of the Grounders is silenced by the commander as he tells them that it is done as he stares her down.
Raven's heart wrenching screams can be heard across the distance. If Clarke had anything left, she would feel her heart breaking again, but there is a coldness that's seeping into her.
