CW: This chapter contains talks about suicide and suicidal behaviour being shown. Be aware of that before reading further.
One Step at a Time
I was unable to accept the truth before me; my brother was gone.
Death never gives warning. Even when a loved one passes peacefully in their sleep, we always wish that we could've had just a little more time with them.
As someone who had ended so many lives, I knew this. Or… I thought I did.
In reality, the brunt of my biggest fear becoming reality was strong enough to smash any semblance of logic within me to pieces. I refused to move past the anger I felt at his death. Because if I did, if for one moment I tried to make peace with what had happened, then it wouldn't be different from accepting it.
And so, I searched for an alternative.
A way to bring him back.
Inyssa couldn't remember the last time she sat on a swing, hands tightly closed against the rusty chains holding her up, the feeling of her feet hovering above the ground a strange, yet comforting one.
The park was empty, not a soul to be seen. A blanket of snow covered every inch of the ground and the rest of the playground equipment, giving the surface a beautiful, peaceful sheen that reminded her of days long gone, looking outside the window for the first year's snowfall.
A deaf thump was heard behind her as the seesaw was pushed to the other extreme by the harsh wind. She felt it a second after. Like a giant blowing against her back, trying to push her away from its property, and yet she remained still, sitting. The tips of her nose and ears had turned red minutes ago, but that was just fine. The cold didn't affect her much.
She breathed out, though maybe it was more of a sigh. Mist escaped her lips in curls.
"I can do this," she said to no one, looking down at her lap. "It'll work this time."
"Confidence is key," said Uxie. "I believe in you, Inyssa."
She let go of the chains and grabbed the book resting on her lap with glove-covered hands. It felt heavier. Gulping was the only thing she could do for a few seconds, her throat too dry to allow her to say much.
It had worked with Pyxis. And back in the library, the first time she'd touched this book. It seemed pretty clear now that if she wanted to read the memories of an object or person, then physical contact was needed, skin to skin. She doubted that knowledge would have helped her the few times she'd tried this before, but at least now she was sure of it; a step in the right direction. She had to make her powers work on this book. No more excuses, no more weakness, no more of her being the worst fucking legendary hero of all time.
The secret behind Team Galactic's plan as well as those of the creature controlling Shadi were in the torn pages of this book. She had to retrieve that information no matter what.
"Alright… here I go."
She took her gloves off with a mix of clumsiness and nervousness, the white tips turning pink merely seconds after she removed them. No time to stall. Taking in a deep breath, Inyssa placed both hands over the cover and forced her eyes to spark with Uxie's power.
A crackle of energy ran from her fingers up throughout the rest of her body, flaring up at the center of her scar. She let out a grunt, teeth grit in pain. The uncomfortable feeling of her senses being enhanced to their limits hit her like a punch to the face, the already bothersome cold turning almost torturous.
Luckily, the sensation disappeared as fast as it had appeared. Inyssa felt herself free of the bounds of her body, the mists and mirrors of her own mind unfolding before her.
Images flashed in front of her. Black words on white, pages being turned, the chilling sound of paper being ripped, the touch of skin against leather. It all rushed into her at once, overwhelming. She frowned and tried to concentrate on a singular memory, no matter which, just to start.
The rush of images and sensations slowed to a crawl, and for a few seconds she could focus on… something. Something she hadn't seen before. A vague, blurry image of a barely-lit room, a fair-skinned blonde woman sitting on the floor, furiously scribbling into the pages of the book, a sparkle of excitement in her stormy eyes.
Inyssa would have gasped if she could. The woman looked almost identical to Cynthia, only shorter and with a more prominent nose and a slightly darker shade of hair. The features of her face were much harsher, too, to a point where Inyssa could have sworn she'd seen this woman before. But…
"Snowpoint temple, then?" The woman spoke to no one, her bushy eyebrows joining over the bridge of her nose. "Bloody hell. Gonna have to ask pops for some winter clothes but I guess I have no choice."
Realization came to her. It was less rough and raspy, true, but there was no mistaking who that voice belonged to.
C-Carolina?
The woman closed the book shut, seemingly unaware of Inyssa's presence.
Then the memory vanished, like a fresh painting being dropped into water, all its color and shape leaving in trails of wisps. Inyssa felt herself back inside her own mind, the shade of the book still on her hands and a look of bewilderment on her non-existent face.
I-it worked! Again! She tried to laugh, though no sound came out of her form-less lips. Okay… okay. So Carolina was the author. That doesn't help me much, but it's a start. Now, one more time. Give me something juicier, book!
She focused all of her attention on the book, the gold of her eyes sparking vigorously. Another rush of power flowed from her toward the object, a shining coat of light covering both of them.
And then nothing happened. The smile slowly fell of her misty face with every second that passed, the landscape around her unchanged.
Come on…
Once again she forced all the power she could muster into the book, and once again nothing came to her. No spark, no images. Nothing.
What the fuck!? she yelled at no one. It just worked, didn't it? I didn't do anything differently!
Again and again she tried, the gold in her eyes glowing so powerfully now that their light cut through even the thickest parts of the mists, and yet it wasn't enough. The book remained still and dead. It didn't even feel like she was holding it anymore, as though something were blocking the mental connection between her and it.
Oh my god, fuck these fucking powers! Aaggh! She let out a deep groan, letting her shoulders fall. What am I doing wrong? I thought–
A sudden chill shook her to her core, the mists around her pulsing like a heartbeat. She froze, holding her breath. It was a familiar feeling, one that was usually followed by…
Yep, there it was. Eyes on her back. Steeling herself, Inyssa looked over her shoulder and found that shadow-hemmed figure standing behind her, its cold gaze drilling into her.
You…
The figure cocked its head to the side, almost curious. Anger rose from Inyssa's stomach like steam from a kettle, instantly burning away any fear she felt toward the creature.
What are you!? she bellowed, the white room shaking to the boom of her voice. What do you want with me!?
No response came. The figure kept staring, never blinking, never moving a single inch, as though it could do this all day. Well, Inyssa didn't have all day. And she was very determined to let this shadowy asshole know that.
I'm not scared of you anymore, she stated. I've gotten through scarier stuff than you. Hell, I fought a murderbug and got hit by fucking lightning, you think you can take me on!?
There was a small gesture. A quirk of the eyebrow, like the figure was questioning her claims.
Uxie told me… it told me you're only a figment of my mind, so there's no reason for me to be scared of you. In fact, you should be scared of me! She tried her best to sound confident, cocky, even. You're a part of my mind and I'm fucking packing with mind powers. I could just get rid of you, you know?
Whatever emotion was displayed on the few inches of faces visible on the shadowy figure, fear it was not.
So you better… you better stop doing whatever it is you're doing to hamper my powers, alright?
At that, the figure looked up, focusing its attention on the myriad of glowing mirrors cutting through the mists, some of them broken and with jagged edges which left pale scars on the air as they moved. Its eye narrowed.
"That's…"
Inyssa felt a chill at the sound of that voice. It had no discernible tone, not even a cadence, as though only the words themselves were being transmitted into her mind, but still she felt it so familiar.
"That's not it…"
What isn't it? she asked, all bravado gone from her voice. What… what do you want from me?
It turned toward her so sharply that Inyssa squared up her shoulders in panic, the sudden weight of that pale green in her eye too chilling for her to bear.
"Truth," it said, matter of factly. "It… it's the only…"
Its voice fizzled in and out and the way it lifted its one visible hand to its throat, fingers curling into a fist, made it seem as though it were having a lot of trouble muttering those words alone.
"Truth…" it repeated. "Speak… the truth."
To say Inyssa was taken aback would have been putting it lightly. The way it spoke, the irritation and desperation in what little expression it showed… was it telling the truth? This thing… was it really trying to help her?
What… kind of truth?
Its gaze bore into her with an intensity that rivaled that of a blizzard, and just like that every ounce of determination and bravery Inyssa had previously shown vanished like a paper Growlithe in said blizzard. When it spoke, there was a sudden force in its voice.
"Truth," it said once more, the word booming inside of Inyssa's head. "The… hardest one. The most painful… to speak."
A sudden memory came to Inyssa. One she hadn't realized was there until now, since it had originated from her dreams. A long walk back from school. The cold from the hail making her recent wounds sore. A Barry that clearly wasn't Barry grabbing her arm and speaking to her with such contempt in his voice.
"You've never been strong. But you could be, if you learn to face the truth."
That was you, Inyssa realized, looking up at the figure. You're the one behind all these dreams.
It didn't reply, but it didn't need to. Something about the way it looked at her was response enough.
You've… been trying to get this across to me all this time? she asked. The trick to getting my powers to work… The secret behind my hazy memories… This truth you're talking about…
There had been a second dream after that one, hadn't it? Back in that cabin, before they'd gone out and gotten ambushed by Team Galactic, Inyssa remembered accidentally falling asleep and seeing…
Seeing…
Even though physical sensations eluded her in this form, she could have sworn she felt a cold pit in her stomach, filling her with sudden unease. That young Niss, carrying that pill bottle…
The world changed around her. Mists danced and coalesced into a vortex of colors around her, distorting her mind like a projector against a white wall, showing an empty, snowy street being walked by a single young girl. Showing a scene that Inyssa couldn't possibly have wanted to look at less.
I… I don't want to look at this, she said, almost stuttering.
The figure said nothing. Heavy pants and grunts were heard as the young Inyssa came into view, and the real one let out a sound she wasn't proud of.
I remember this, she said, pitch rising. This isn't one of the memories I'm missing; I remember this clear as fucking day! I don't need to see it again!
The figure stared into her, its gaze as impassive as ever.
"I'm not the one showing you this."
Inyssa tried to mutter a response, but nothing but a mutter came out.
"Truths," it said, once more. "Painful ones. Speak them. Practice."
I-I…
Slowly, every part of her trying to stop her, Inyssa looked over her shoulder and toward the unfolding memory once more.
The young her had barely walked a few steps in that time. Then again, that was understandable considering the sorry state she was in, clothes torn in multiple places and bruises covering her from tip to toe. Warm blood ran down her broken nose. Ash black hair fell over her face in disheveled tufts, their shadow hiding the green of her eyes. She walked with a limp, teeth clenched in pain.
Hers was the look of someone who'd gotten seven bells beaten out of her, which happened to be the case.
Connie's sister was not a merciful woman.
Young Inyssa kept on walking, no sound leaving her mouth other than the occasional grunt of pain, the resigned look on her face spelling out how much she knew she deserved the state she was in. Or maybe it wasn't clear at all, under the blood and bruises. Maybe she simply knew because she'd been in the spot not too long ago.
The more she looked, the more she began to feel it. The pain, the soreness, the numb cold spreading all throughout her body, whispering dark thoughts into her ear. Each step made her ankles sink into the growing blanket of snow, making her advance more difficult. The muscles on her legs burned with the effort, but she barely felt that. Barely felt anything, as a matter of fact. All she was aware of was the deep, crushing weight on her shoulders and eyelids, urging her to let go, urging her to be swallowed by the hail and be done with all this.
It would certainly be what she deserved.
And yet, she kept going. The dark streets of Twinleaf made way as she slowly but surely made her way back to her own neighborhood, not a single soul to be seen around. That, too, was to be expected. Everyone knew you had to be inside before nightfall during winter. It was common sense, the kind even Pokemon took to heart.
A Murkrow's screech greeted the girl as she turned the corner, her and Barry's house now visible at the end of the street. Only one showed signs of life inside.
For the first time since getting up after her beating, she stopped. A mistake, as the very act of walking was the only thing keeping her consciousness and the horrific pain covering every inch of her body from overtaking her. A tiny sob left her cracked lips, swallowed by the roar of the hail. Eyes narrowed, vision blurry, she tried her best to ignore everything and focused on the street ahead.
Tall, leafless trees grew in rows in front of the houses, small banks of snow gathering in between the branches. A single light post stood at her right glowing with a blurry, fragmented gold sheen, the snowflakes falling around it looking like raindrops of pure gold, their dance wild and mesmerizing. For a second, Inyssa forgot about everything. Then, as she finally forced herself to look away, her gaze fell onto the only other discernible light source around.
"B-Barry…"
The name left her lips without her realizing, and just like that she began to walk again, headed toward Barry's house. The pain was worse now, but she didn't let that stop her. That light coming out of the windows, that warm, calming light… They could help, couldn't they? Help with this pain, help with the dark thoughts so eagerly trying to swallow her like the falling snow around her…
Barry, Sarah, even Palmer… they were always good at that. They always jumped to help her without a second thought because they cared about her, because…
Because they pitied her.
She grit her teeth, swallowing that thought down. Help. She just… she just needed a little help was all. A few bandages and bags with ice, maybe some painkillers, a comfortable bed and a warm meal… When had she last eaten something? Yesterday morning? She could smell a warm and delicious meal being made inside that kitchen. Her stomach grumbled and she had to stop herself from drooling.
Yeah, she just needed a bit of help. Just…
"P-please…" Her voice came out broken and desperate. "Someone… H-help…"
The door was right there. A few more steps, a stretch of her arm and she would…
Light blinded her as she walked in front of one of the windows, forcing her to stop and squint. Right, they were probably there in the lobby, so…
Barry was there. He sat at the foot of the sofa with his legs crossed, distractedly doodling on a piece of paper in front of him as he stared at the T.V. screen hanging from the other wall. Palmer was behind him sprawled across the sofa. Eyes barely open, he let out a big yawn and scratched his nose, one of his arms falling on top of Barry's head.
"Agh! What'd you do that for!?" the boy's muffled voice came through the other side of the window.
"Ah… sorry boy, must've missed you there." Palmer lazily blinked a couple times. "Long day at work y'see… I'll probably head to bed after dinner tonight."
"But daaaaad! You told me you'd teach me all about dragon types after dinner today!"
"…Did I?" The man frowned, tilting his head slightly. "Ah, cripes. I'm sorry, son, I'm afraid it might have to wait until tomorrow. Stopping a rampaging Hippopodown really takes the wind out of my sails… Still, I've heard you've been learning plenty on your own. Sarah told me all about how well you're doing in trainer school."
Barry's eyes almost sparkled at that, his body turning so quickly that he became a blur.
"Yeah! I can't wait to show you all I learned dad!" He smiled up at the man, hands curled into fists. "It's gonna blow your socks off!"
Sarah's voice burst from the kitchen, startling Inyssa and the two inside. "Lower the volume there, you two! Barry, be a good son and help me bring everything to the table, will you?"
Neither of them noticed her as they jumped to their feet with almost equal levels of excitement, staring hungrily at the table in the other room. She saw them no more as they disappeared past the sill of the room.
The hushed sounds of jovial conversation, along with those of eating, made its way to Inyssa. She didn't move to the door. Her hands rested on the frame of the window, a thin yet growing layer of snow beginning to cover her head and shoulders.
Part of her wished she could be jealous. Spiteful, even. But as she kept looking onto the empty lobby, ears slowly tuning out of the distant conversation, she realized that all she felt was a peaceful, dispassionate sense of realization.
Barry, Sarah and Palmer were happy. You could see it in their eyes, in the way they talked and interacted with others. They were good people. Nuggets of gold buried in the world's trash, somehow managing to shine through despite it all.
Inyssa looked over her shoulder, toward her own house. Would her mother be asleep already? Probably. Despite Sarah's earnest efforts to help her, Johanna had been unable to separate herself from the substance she loved so much, to everyone's displeasure. That's all she was good for, it seemed. Even with so much love and support being thrown her way, the woman's basest urges managed to win time after time, proving without a shadow of a doubt that she was nothing but a failure, a burden on everyone around her. Someone who didn't deserve the help she got. Someone who, all things considered, would have been better off not existing.
And, as Inyssa finally turned around, the light of the Paladino household bathing her back, she realized that she was very much the same.
Shadi was the only good one of us, thought the girl, an empty smile forming on her lips. She must've realized that, which is why she left us.
It was so clear… how had it taken her so long to see it? A cold, somber sense of peace flooded her for the first time since she could remember, and just like that it felt as though all of the pieces had fallen into place.
She was cursed. A wretched child who had inherited her mother's disposition. Why else would she be such a terrible person? Why else would she push away everyone around her, especially those few who'd made an effort to help her when she clearly didn't deserve it? Because deep down, she knew the truth.
The world would be better off without h–
The real Inyssa took a step back, every inch of her formless body shaking as she took what felt like a deep breath, eyes closing strongly.
T-too close, she thought, breathing harshly. I… I got too close. It was l-like I was feeling it for a second time…
Behind her, young Inyssa began walking toward her house, a disturbing look of determination on her face. She couldn't find the gall to follow her. What happened next was so burned into her memory that she knew she couldn't live through it a second time, not even in the state she was in now.
"Truth," spoke a voice behind her. "You run from it."
It took a few moments to gather the composure to answer.
What truth? she asked, tone bitter. Back then I thought I'd found the truth too. I'm not interested in being that arrogant again.
"You'll never try again, then?" There was a hint of mockery in the shadowy figure's voice. "Coward."
Inyssa would've bitten her lip if she could. However, before she could think of a scathing response, there was a sharp sound and a sudden light hit her as the door behind her flew wide open.
Wha–?
Barry stepped through, an annoyed look on his face and a small bag of trash hanging from his right hand. He shook his head, unaware of their presence.
"Take the trash out before dinner." He mimicked Sarah's voice, taking a step out from under the doorsill. "You won't get desserts otherwise, blah blah bl–"
His voice trailed off when he looked down, noticing the small footprints leading from the other side of the street to his door, and then to Inyssa's house.
"Huh?" He blinked a couple times. "Did Niss…?"
There were a few seconds of silence, after which a hint of worry formed in the crease of his eyebrows, his legs and feet starting to stim nervously.
"Niss…"
Letting the trash bag fall at his side, he took off toward Inyssa's house, a grim look on his face. The real Inyssa stood behind.
…How can I see this? It's not part of my memories.
The figure offered no reply, as usual. Then again, the question itself wasn't much more than a poor attempt at dodging the issue at hand. That one eye's gaze was still drilling into her back, eagerly awaiting her response.
Congrats, she thought. You made me relive the worst moment of my life just to teach me a lesson. Happy?
"No," replied the figure. "Not the worst. Not at all."
Then why?
"Because," it said. "Truth."
You just said this isn't the most painful truth! she argued. What's the fucking point then? Why don't we jump straight to that one?
"Too much. It will break you."
She couldn't help but chuckle, the sheer shittiness of the situation too much for her not to react to in some form. God she wished her body was corporeal now. That way she could punch the shadowy figure in the nose.
This is a practice round, then? A nice exercise, yeah, just me admitting that I…
The rest of the words couldn't come out. Inyssa swore, despising her own weakness, hating even more that this shadowy asshole was forcing her to acknowledge it.
And yet… it was right, wasn't it? If the way to master her powers was to recover her repressed memories, and if that involved her admitting the most painful truths she could think of, then this was a natural step in the process. Nothing more.
I…
She choked on the words one last time before she finally managed to push them out, the tail-end of them scraping her non-existent throat like a thorn being forcefully taken out.
I tried to kill myself when I was sixteen, she said. Pill overdose. Barry found me unconscious on my bathroom and he and Sarah and Palmer took me to the hospital. If it weren't for him, I'd be dead right now.
There was no rush of power. No crack of lightning or burst of light, only a soft whimper as the memory began to bleed out around her, shadows and colors poofing into the familiar mist of her mind. Just like it was before. Neither she nor the shadowy figure spoke for what felt like an entire minute.
The confession hadn't made her feel better. Though it probably wasn't meant to; no one enjoyed going to the dentist or getting a limb amputated but as long as the alternative was worse you could grit your teeth and tell yourself it was for the better. She wasn't sure that was true. But then again, what the fuck did she know?
She was grateful at least that she couldn't cry in this form. She'd done that enough already.
What truth could be more painful than that? she finally asked, her tone slightly more composed. I guess that's the whole point, huh. I gotta find out.
"Good start," said the figure. As Inyssa turned to look at it, she noticed that the shadows forming most of its body looked less… compact, in a way. As though part of it had been cleared away. "One more to go. Figure it out on your own."
Inyssa sneered. You know how badly I want to punch you in the face, right?
"I know." She could have sworn she heard a smile in its voice. "Now… Book."
Book? But I… She looked down, finding the object still on her hands. It didn't work before.
"Truth," it said once more. "Not painful enough. But close. At least…"
Its voice went all garbled just then, like a recorder suddenly malfunctioning. It seemed it couldn't speak freely still.
Inyssa looked down at the book with apprehension, definitely not wanting a repeat of what just happened but too curious not to try. After a moment to gather her wits, she summoned Uxie's power. Crackles of gold burst to life behind her eyes, sending a rush of energy throughout her misty form.
This time, the memory was different. She wasn't transported to a different place; instead, thousands of words flashed across her eyes with such speed that no normal person could have possibly caught what each sentence said before it disappeared.
Luckily, being Uxie's chosen hero ensured that she was anything but.
"What is this sea of chaos that existed before Arceus came to be? Where is the Hall of Origin located? What are these seventeen shards? And most importantly, what is the nature of the connection between the Lake Trio and Dialga and Palkia? I can't help but wonder… what if their existence isn't a simple coincidence?
"The possibility is haunting, but if the combined might of Mesprit, Azelf and Uxie is capable of somehow controlling the Creation Duo, forcing them to do their bidding… the thought sends shivers down my spine. Dialga and Palkia are ancient. Some might say they don't even possess physical form as they are the very manifestations of space and time, and as such would be impossible to tame. But the lake siblings… they are very much real. They exist in the flesh. And most importantly, their behavior and personalities are not much unlike our own, which worries me.
"We humans are so easy to manipulate, after all.
"I can't afford to waste any time. There is much investigating to do, and if my theory proves to be true… Then for the first time in the history of our clan of Lorekeepers, information might need to be destroyed.
"To hell with tradition. I don't care what my elders say; some knowledge is better left forgotten."
The endless rush of words stopped, and immediately Inyssa felt herself being pulled back to her body, sensation returning to her with a jolt.
A sharp breath sent a gulp of freezing air down her throat, which only served to make her cough even more. Her muscles ached with the cold. The park remained as still and deserted as ever, snow falling even more vigorously now, the pile under her now reaching her ankles.
She took a deep breath, cheeks a deep red, and looked down at the book still resting on her lap.
So that's it. My hunch was right after all. A knot formed in her stomach; this might have been the first time she was so horrified of being right. Too bad I couldn't get the memories of the other pages that were ripped off, though…
"Inyssa?"
She almost jumped at the sound of Uxie's voice.
"Oh… hey." She swallowed. "I'm fine. Got some information out of the book. Team Galactic's true plans, if I'm right."
"Ah…. I see, that's very good news." There was a short pause. "Er, are you… alright, Inyssa?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"All those minutes you spent inside your mind, I was unable to accompany you for some reason. Additionally…" It hesitated for a moment. "You began… crying, halfway through."
Reflexively, she brought her hand to her cheek and cursed under her breath as she felt the wetness running down the corner of her eyes.
So much for that.
"Did you… have another encounter with that shadow-hemmed figure?"
"Fucking… ace detective right here." She wiped the wetness of her face, looking away from Uxie. "Yeah, I did. But it's fine, I bested them and I got part of what we wanted, so you don't have to worry."
"…I see."
Ah, wonderful awkward silences. If Inyssa had a penny for every time she'd caused one due to her inability to interact with others then maybe she'd finally be able to afford a therapist unfortunate enough to help her with that.
"Oh, and I believe your device beeped a few minutes before."
Nice save.
She did have a notification on her Poketch; a message from Candice, it seemed. Frowning, Inyssa pressed on the screen and read it.
I would appreciate it if you could make it back soon. You have a very insistent visitor.
Please hurry.
Inyssa let out a sigh, her shoulders seeming to deflate from cold and exhaustion alone.
What was it now?
Barry and Maylene ran into her half a street from the house, the latter wearing that one oversized jacket which made her look like a marshmallow.
"Greetings, Dawn." Maylene raised a hand at her and winked. She seemed energetic. "Got the text too?"
"Niss, you're white as snow!"
She raised an eyebrow. "Uh… yeah. That's just my face."
"No, I mean…" He pressed a hand against her cheek. The following shiver she felt had nothing to do with the cold. "Jeez, how long did you spend out there in the hail?"
"I'm fine," she said, cheeks reddening. "What's this about a visitor I heard about?"
"No idea," shrugged Maylene. "We were training back in the dojo when we got it. Let's go see."
Barry pretty much glued himself to her as they headed for the house, arms wrapped around hers like iron bars. Not like she wanted to complain, of course.
They saw Candice as soon as they entered through the door. She wore a decidedly different apron from last night's one and walked around the room with a mop on one hand, gripping it with the intensity of a warrior holding a spear. The look on her face was beyond sour. Almost as bad as that chilling expression she'd shown them on their first day here.
"That bad of a visitor, huh?" Maylene approached first, a nervous smile on her face. "You okay babe? Does someone need to be thrown out the window? Because I'm more than happy to…"
"That wouldn't be… a terrible idea, but no. Save your strength, dear." She flashed Maylene a quick smile, then faced them. "You two, come on. She's in the kitchen. Let's make this as quick and painless as possible, yes?"
Something in her expression told Inyssa that wasn't a question.
"I…" She gulped. "Sure, let's go."
Worry set in the pit of her stomach during the few seconds it took them to reach the kitchen, and Inyssa couldn't help but wonder who the hell could cause such a reaction in Candice. She didn't even treat her with such contempt. Cynthia was the first person that came to mind, but… No, that couldn't be. She'd been forbidden from interacting with the two of them, hadn't she? Mars came next, though she had absolutely no idea why she thought of that. A dry chuckle got caught in her throat. Yeah, that'd go well.
Maybe…
"Ah, there you two are. I was starting to feel… What's the expression here? Frozen by boredom? Oh yes, that's a nice one."
Inyssa had never drunk Fireblast Liquor, mostly because she valued the integrity and wellbeing of her taste buds, but she figured the burst of heat that spread from her belly outwards as she saw that woman couldn't be too far from said experience. At that moment, she must have looked like a Glameow with its fur standing up.
Selena Viper leaned back on her chair, one leg crossed over the other, and saluted both of them with her cup of tea as she took a sip.
"Ah… Aspear berry tea, simply can't be beaten during winter." She licked her lips and let out a dreamy sigh. "Mind joining me? I'm sure Candice wouldn't mind making a few more cups, w–"
Inyssa caught a glimpse of gold before Barry threw himself at Selena, rage exuding from every inch of him.
"Barry! N–!"
Both her and Maylene raised their hands to stop him, but it was Candice who got to him first. A grunt of pain and confusion left his lips as she grabbed onto his wrist with enough force to completely stop him on his track, the momentum of his body not enough to even throw her off balance. He looked over his shoulder, furious, then froze at the sight of her glare.
A moment passed in silence. The room felt a few degrees colder.
"Let's all calm down," said Candice with a tone so composed it was practically plain. "You wouldn't jump and attack someone out of nowhere, would you, Barry?"
He swallowed. "N-no, I…"
Another awkward pause, soon broken by the sound of Selena taking another sip of her tea and licking her lips.
"Don't feel bad, kid," said the woman, smiling. "You're not the first to react like that to my presence, and I really hope you're not the last either."
Inyssa was still too shocked to say anything, though luckily Barry wasn't. Candice let go of him only after giving him a look that she interpreted as 'Start shit in my house again and I'll turn you into a human popsicle'.
"What are you doing here!?" he snapped, shoulders tensed in anger. "And why'd you let her in, Candice? You know what she…!?"
"All I know is that she published a less than flattering article about Inyssa, one whose veracity is debatable at best," Candice cut him off. "Which would make her a journalist a dozen, nothing more."
"But…!"
"This is my house, Barry. I would appreciate it if you didn't lecture me on who I can or can't allow in here," she said scathingly.
Maylene placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure that's not what he meant, babe," she whispered to her. "Besides, we're Gym leaders. We're used to… people like her."
She'd clearly meant to say something else, though she caught herself at the last moment, to Selena's apparent disappointment. The woman took one last sip from the cup, then addressed them.
"Of course, I remember the piece I wrote for your coronation, Maylene. One of my best works, if I do say so myself." She raised a hand into the air, as though framing an invisible headline. "The tomboy apple doesn't fall far from the tomboy tree. Mary Avalon's legacy; tradition or just nepotism?"
"Yeah, it was a pretty good one," said Maylene. "Came in handy when I ran out of toilet paper."
"No such thing as bad publicity, or so they say. It is a nice surprise to see you here though, despite the rumors that led me to believe that'd be the case anyway."
Maylene narrowed her eyes. "…Rumors?"
"The dawn of the internet has made my job so much easier, if a bit more competitive. Still, nothing beats raw investigative power." She paid no mind to the girl as she talked, examining her sea foam green nails. "The Association's HR regulations, section D, subsection… 1.3 A, if I'm not mistaken…"
She cleared her throat and began to recite:
"League employees, regardless of rank or station, are not to form relationships beyond the amicable and/or strictly professional in order to avoid a conflict of interest and/or the hampering of their Association duties. This applies especially to Gym leaders, Elite Four members and the Champion. An exception may be made if the appropriate paperwork is filled, in which case the 'domestic partners' –as they will be known in the system– must attend a series of talks and interviews during which HR will determine if it is safe for the Association to grant them the benefit of mutual domesticity. Non-compliance with these regulations may and often will result in complete termination."
Inyssa and Barry couldn't help their jaw dropping. Selena spoke so fast and concisely that even she had trouble parsing most of what she'd just said, which meant Barry didn't have a chance at remembering a quarter of it.
Candice and Maylene got the gist of it, if the sour looks on their faces were any indication.
"I hope you're not accusing us of anything," said the former, expression completely blank. "And that was just some trivia you felt like spewing out for no reason."
Selena chuckled. "Of course not. I just wanted to give you two a… heads up, you could say. Anyone could present a formal complaint to the Association at any point, and none of us here would want anything to happen to two of the region's most respected Gym leaders, would we?"
"Bastard," Maylene muttered under her breath. "If you…"
Candice placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. To Inyssa, she looked by far the most terrifying of the two at the moment.
"I should be heading to work in twenty minutes or so," she said, forcing a smile on her lips. "If you have any business with Inyssa and Barry I'd recommend you get it over with before then. I wouldn't want to leave a stranger in my house when I'm not here. Nothing against you, of course."
The smile Selena shone back at her made Inyssa's skin crawl. There was something oddly… satisfied about it, as though she were enjoying immensely the back and forth Candice was providing her with.
This is all a game to her, she realized, furious. And Candice's the only one of us who knows how to play.
"Right. Wouldn't want to overstay my welcome." With a grunt she pushed herself up from her seat, stretching like a sleepy Meowth. "Ah, these winters always make me so sore. How are you finding Snowpoint? Inyssa, Barry?"
Barry opened his mouth to reply, his expression that of someone wanting to spit on the one in front of them, but Inyssa got ahead of him.
"We're busy," she said. "Please get to the point."
Selena pursed her lips. "Right. There's a simple reason I came here…" She dug into the inside of her coat with one hand, taking out a piece of paper. "A couple of aspiring trainers like you, I'm sure you've heard of our annual Ace trainer ranking, yes?"
They both startled at that, anger momentarily gone from their expressions. The trainer rankings… yes, of course Inyssa knew about them, she'd memorized them every year since the moment she'd learned to read. She'd even taken notes of some of them. One of her proudest moments –back when she frequented trainer fan forums– had been predicting young Flint's rise to the position of Elite Four even before he reached Victory Road.
"Yeah. 'course we know," said Barry, tone sour. "It's the top ten rookie trainers of the year, ranked by…" Suddenly his eyes went wide. "Wait…"
Inyssa felt a chill. "A-are we…!?"
"Look for yourself."
Selena handed the piece of paper and Barry ripped it from her hands as though it were the world's most tempting pancake. He and Inyssa locked shoulders, staring down at the results.
Annual Ace trainer Ranking – brought to you by Sword&Pen Daily
(Disclaimer: Each ranking position has been carefully calculated based on said trainer's win/loss ratio on official League matches as well as their contributions to the region as a whole during the course of their journey. As such, it is as objective as can be.)
Ranks:
1) "Azure Knight" – Riley Ordine
2) "Sinister Rouge" – Mikan Kondo
3) "Flame of Cinnabar" – Reiko Chabashira
4) "Yellow Hurricane" – Barry Paladino
5) "Child of Thorns" – Inyssa Dawn
6) "Monochrome Flash" – Marley Sawashiro
7) "Whirlwind Schemer" – Percy Morow
8) "The Wall" – Buck Oba
9) "White Magician" – Felix Grayson
10) "Windrunner" Cephandrius
Inyssa didn't know if the clump that had formed in her stomach was due to joy or sheer fucking indignation. On one hand, she'd always dreamed about being featured in the annual trainer ranking, but on the other…
"Fifth?" she muttered, voice thin. "I'm… fifth?"
"Wait… Why are you lower than me?" Barry looked up at Selena. "I thought… I mean she hasn't…"
"Your fight in Canalave was pretty famous," was her response. "And you won. What more proof do we need?"
Inyssa said nothing, lips pursed so tightly they turned pale. She was furious at herself. Not because of the rankings themselves, but because of the fact that she actually felt surprised at how low she'd been placed, as though it weren't incredibly obvious. Another thing she had rather not think about. Another truth she'd been running for.
Reiko and Mikan were obvious. Barry… She knew deep down that he was slightly stronger, but she was confident that she could find a way to beat him if push came to shove. And that Riley guy… she had no idea who he was. But as Shadi had told her once… There was always someone stronger.
"It is customary for me to visit every trainer in the ranking each year and get some words from them so I can later publish them in our paper. A little interview, if they're willing," said Selena. "You two are the last on my list, sans Percy and Reiko whom I haven't been able to contact."
But Inyssa was barely listening to her. She held the piece of paper so strongly she had started to wrinkle it.
"You should wipe that look off your face," Maylene. "You're on the Top 5 for Mew's sake! You'd think at least that would turn your frown upside down."
Candice nodded. "For two people who've been at this for less than a year, that's clearly above average. You should be proud."
Inyssa bit her lip. She wanted so badly to agree with them, to be happy that she'd reached such a milestone, but there was something heavy and uncomfortable setting at the pit of her stomach preventing her from doing that.
Selena folded her arms, a smug smile on her face. "Maybe our little Child of Thorns is coming to the realization that she's not what she's been painting herself as. A hard pill to swallow, I'm sure. But I'm always happy to provide people with those."
Barry turned sharply toward the woman, shoulders squared up and hands balled into fists. He looked just about ready to trample her.
"What the hell is your problem!?" The boom of his voice echoed off the walls. "What do you have against Niss!? She's never done anything to you!"
"Barry…"
"No, I hate all this pretending to act nice stuff! It's the same as lying!" He let out a Tsk, glancing at Candice. "We all hate her and she hates us. Why can't we just come out with that and stop screwing around? Why can't people just say what they mean ever!?"
Inyssa hung back, mouth agape. She couldn't remember the last time Barry had exploded like that. Everyone seemed to share her surprise, even Selena, whose eyes were as wide as those of a Hoothoot.
Candice was the first to speak. "Like I said, this is my house and I'd appreciate it if…"
"I'd rather leave and stay in the Pokemon Center if staying here means I have to act nice to people like her." He pointed at Selena unabashedly, brows forming a line over the bridge of his nose. "So if you wanna kick me out, feel free to."
That same chilling expression they'd seen twice before fell over Candice's face, but this time Barry held his gaze against hers, faint traces of gold gleaming behind his eyes. After a few seconds of tension so thick it could be cut with a knife, she blinked.
"You know very well I'm not going to do that," she said, looking away. "Selena, I'll have to agree with Barry. If you want the benefit of my politeness then you'll have to stop treating my guests like that. Otherwise, I'll be forced to ask you to leave."
Selena smiled and raised both hands in a 'I give up' gesture, letting out a sigh.
"I'll play nice. But before that, it wouldn't be right to ignore Barry's question." She looked at Inyssa. "What do I have against you? Technically nothing. You're an Ace trainer a dozen and you'd have safely flown under my radar if it weren't for all the platitudes you've been spewing from the moment you made yourself known to all of Sinnoh."
Inyssa frowned. Barry did the same, though the confusion on his face revealed that he had no idea what the word platitude meant.
"I've been called many things over the course of my career," said Selena, "but there's only one word I would ever use to describe myself, and that's patriotic."
Everyone's eyes went wide with shock at that.
"Don't believe me? I don't blame you; I'm confident in claiming that I've criticized Cynthia and the way she runs this region more than any other person on the planet, but that's because I care about Sinnoh and its people." Her expression grew dark as she frowned at Inyssa. "Cynthia is flawed, sure, but at least she's sure of herself and knows what to do in times of crisis. You're just a kid playing at being a grownup. I'm sorry, Inyssa, but nothing you've shown me has convinced me that you should be the next trainer to inherit the title of Champion. I treat you like this because I can't acknowledge you."
Barry opened his mouth to say something but Inyssa raised a hand and stopped him again. She didn't look away from Selena.
"You can quote me on everything I'm about to say."
"Niss…"
"It's fine. I know there's a lot of people in Sinnoh who hate the idea of me becoming Champion," she said. "And you're right that I don't really know what I'm doing. But I doubt Cynthia did either, back when she took the title."
Selena raised an eyebrow. "You're still comparing yourself to her?"
Inyssa took a deep breath. No, she was nothing like Cynthia, nor would she want to be. Why had it taken her so long to realize that?
"Someone told me recently that I should start facing the truth, even if it hurts. So I'll be the first to admit that whatever I say here won't hold much weight if I don't back it up with actions, which I fully intend to." She placed a hand on her belt full of Pokeballs. "A few days from now, Barry and I are going to challenge Candice and Maylene in a double battle. Do you think you could stay in Snowpoint until then, and stream the match?"
"I…" Selena seemed taken aback. "I suppose I could."
"Thanks. For those who doubt I'm good enough to become Champion, I'm not going to try to convince you with words, so…" She closed her hand into a fist and pressed it against her chest, smiling. "Just watch me."
All this time she'd been talking, Selena had been writing it down on a small notebook, but as she said that last part she looked up, and something like a devious smile formed on her lips. It seems she, too, liked a challenge.
"And for those who think I'm not mature or honest enough to succeed Cynthia…" She took a deep breath. Here it came. "I'd like to prove you wrong right here. I'm sure very few people are going to believe me, but that doesn't bother me. As long as even one person does, I'll be happy."
She closed her eyes, and by the time she opened them again their outline glowed with a golden sheen.
"I'm going to tell you all what Team Galactic's plan really is."
A few hours later, Candice tapped her knuckles against the blackboard of her classroom, instantly gathering her students' attention.
"That will be all for today," she said with a smile, trying to mask the exhaustion in her voice. "Remember to read the chapter on status conditions for tomorrow's test."
There was a cacophony of 'Yes Miss Candice!' along with other such affirmations and screams of joy that classes for the day had finally come to an end. Candice shared the sentiment, even if she wouldn't have said it out loud.
"Miss Candice!" Lucy, the girl sitting at the very front, raised her hand diligently. "I read what that Inyssa girl said in the news!"
"Yeah me too!" added Greg, grinning. "Is it true you'll fight her and that Barry guy!? And that Maylene will be there too?"
An air of excitement rose in the classroom and Candice found herself in a mix of appreciation and irritation.
"Now, how could you have possibly read that…" she said, folding her arms at them. "If the article was published after today's classes started? Unless you read it in your phone. Which, if I remember correctly, is something students are prohibited to bring with them."
Silence and panic fell over the classroom in a flash. Candice stared at her students with her best chilling expression, only for long enough for every one of them to look away. Then she smiled.
"Just don't let any of the other teachers catch you," she said. "And yes, Maylene and I will be facing them soon. You can all come watch, but only if you finish your homework for tomorrow. Understood?"
After another hail of screams and affirmations from her loving students, she led them out the door and closed it behind her, letting out a sigh of exhaustion so pronounced it felt as though she'd deflated. She walked back to her desk, letting herself fall on the chair behind it.
"This day cannot end soon enough," she whispered, face held in her hands. "This is one of those days I really wish I could sleep…"
A presence appeared behind her, and she felt the familiar sensation of a shimmer of pink light bathing her back. Her partner's voice filled the room.
"Again, I am sorry for that."
Candice leaned back and shrugged. "Not much we can do. Sometimes… sometimes I have one of those days, you know? But it's fine. I can handle it."
She let her back rest against the chair, eyes closed, and breathed in the stale air of the room which felt like it was clogging up her throat. Or maybe that was just anxiety.
It had been a long, irritating day. First she'd been called by the local authorities, reporting that Mindy Gibson was at it again with those everstone Haunter trades. Then the Pokemon Center had requested her help. Apparently some poor traveler had been found on the outskirts of town, passed out and wounded all over, a pale woman with red eyes, she'd been described as. So of course they needed her Audino's help, which meant no Heal Pulse for her that day.
And then… Selena. Anger and bitterness joined anxiety in the middle of her throat, forming an even bigger knot. Gods she hated that woman. And if her presence weren't enough, of course Inyssa had to make things more difficult by dropping what was possibly the biggest piece of bait for journalists all over Sinnoh. The news were all over already. This would surely cause problems.
How the hell did she even find out about that? she wondered. No one but Cynthia and a select few of us should know about Team Galactic's plans…
Or so was the case. Now everyone in Sinnoh knew, for better or for worse. All because of the stupid recklessness of a child wanting to prove herself.
"You're not much older than her, you know." Her partner's voice echoed in her mind. "Personally, I think she made the right choice. You humans always seem to keep secrets for the silliest reasons, as though you were allergic to the truth."
Candice bit back a retort. This wasn't the time to argue with her.
"You only come to me from the temple if you want to tell me something," she said, turning to the light. "What is it, Cresselia?"
The translucent shade of the legendary Pokemon showed a pair of worried, compassionate eyes she was well accustomed with. This was her secret. No one but Maylene and that horrid woman knew that she was bonded with such a powerful creature.
"She… has sent a message through my partner." There was pain in her voice, clear as glass. "One she wants delivered to you."
Candice grit her teeth. "Spit it out then."
"She's coming for us, once the moon is on her side. And she strongly suggests you decide what side you're on by then. She promises not to harm us…if you step aside and allow her to capture Inyssa."
Something not much unlike a chuckle left her lips. Of course. She should've expected a threat as crude and cold as that.
"So I either fight her and put in danger everything I love or I sacrifice a girl that, in all honesty, I don't even like that much." She shook her head. "That has to be the easiest decision in the world."
"And yet."
"And yet…" Candice placed her palms on the desk, pushing herself up with a sigh. "Maylene seems to be friends with her. If I do what Shadi tells me I doubt I'll ever be able to look her in the eye again."
"This isn't up for debate, in any case," said Cresselia. "You are simply not that kind of person."
Candice looked over her shoulder, smiling at her partner. "Yeah… And besides, we Gym leaders are supposed to act like teachers toward those who come challenge us. And a teacher always does her best to protect her students."
They shared a determined look, and though the projection of Cresselia couldn't move, she imagined her nodding.
"We fight, then."
"We fight," she confirmed. "Tell Shadi we'll be waiting for her."
