Chapter Fifteen: There's Something About Matsuri

When most people thought of a hospital, they thought of sterile all-white rooms with lots of machines beeping around meticulously made beds. However, Sakura was rather proud that the hospital she worked in felt more friendly and life-giving, with green rooms with wood paneling, and furnishing more akin to a hotel room, with minimal machines. Today, Sakura had her shift in the clinic on the first floor until it closed at 6, then a few surgeries lined up on the upper floors. Sakura greeted several other nurses around the nurse's station, turning in her eleventh clipboard of the day in with a sigh. "Who's next?"

"Kiba Inuzuka," one of the nurses replied, passing the senior doctor a clipboard with patient's file. "Room 118."

"Kiba," Sakura hummed. It wasn't often she saw her old classmates, except for Naruto. Judging it was the clinic, she predicted it was either a cold or an STD. With Kiba, either was possible. And to be honest, she had bigger problems to deal with than that.

She stepped into 118 with a forced smile. "Kiba, long time, no see."

"Mmm," he grunted back, sounding a little off.

She looked up, seeing Kiba sitting on the table with his hand over his nose and mouth. Given Kiba's sensitivity with smell, it wasn't too odd. The hospital smelled like death according to several of the Inuzukas. She saw Hinata in the corner with Akamaru, looking sheepish, which also wasn't too odd.

Sakura dropped the clipboard to her side, and asked, "So, what brings you here today?"

Kiba removed his hand, gesturing to his face in general, and only then did she notice his face and hand were covered in blood. His nose arched in a weird angle splitting the skin a little at where the natural bridge was. His eyes were bruising just around the tear ducts and over the sinuses. Akamaru whined at the sight, and Kiba gave him a calming gesture with his hands.

"Oh my God!" Sakura gasped, stepping closer to appreciate the break. She put her fingers on his jaw, guiding his head to the light so she could see better. She noticed the scruff of what he called a beard was damp too, but the liquid felt more like water. "What happened?"

"I broke mby dose," he stated as if it was obvious.

"Doing what?" she asked, slightly annoyed by his answer.

"Getting punched by his—" Hinata chimed in.

Kiba cut her off with a sharp, "SH!" He winced at his tone, clearly aggravating the break.

Sakura frowned. So, it was a personal fight, she inferred. "Well, I have to manipulate it back into place, so it'll heal right. Otherwise, it'll heal crooked and could cause issues with your olfactory senses." When Kiba frowned, clearly not used to the term, she clarified, "Your sense of smell.'

He grumbled, clearly not liking the idea of rebreaking his nose. "Here I was dthinking it mbade mbe look a bid like a badass."

"So, you don't want me to fix it?"

"If id's going to affect mby smell, thend yes blease," he corrected.

She took a bracing breath, putting her thumbs in position on the nose. He winced from the pain. "Ok, it's going to hurt," she warned. "On three. One." Then she pushed the bone and cartilage back into place with a snap.

Kiba howled, throwing his head back from the pain. "The fuck, Sakura!? You said on three!" Akamaru gave a growling groan, and again Kiba gestured for him to stay.

"I needed you not to subconsciously tense your muscles," she answered.

He looked at her as if she had a few extra heads. "In mby nose!?"

She shrugged blandly, countering, "Or I'm just a sadist. Take your pick." Just then, the door opened, and Sakura let out an annoyed sigh. "I'm with a patient."

"I know, that's why I'm here," Kakashi answered boredly, looking at Kiba. He walked over to stand behind Sakura, looking directly at Kiba as he said, "There were a few witnesses to what happened, but I want to get your side of things."

Kiba's expression soured more, and he looked away to the floor.

Kakashi's gaze narrowed contemplatively. "Ronnie's punishment hinges on what you can tell me."

Sakura frowned, recognizing the name vaguely. She'd heard Kiba had been dating one of the weird new girls recently. Was that her name?

Kiba remained silent.

"To be fair, Lord Kakashi, I don't think he knows why she attacked him," Hinata started. "Just before, he was telling me that they were starting to get serious…"

"Shut up, Hinada," Kiba growled, sounding very much like an older brother snapping at an annoying little sister. Akamaru barked, as if reprimanding Kiba for talking to his friend like that. He huffed, clearly thinking about his answer, then said, "She broke up with me, alright?" This earned some odd looks. "I don't know why or what I did. She just tsunambi'd me out the gate, threw a mean righd hook ad my nose, then said we were done." He chewed on his lower lip before adding, "I'd like dto dtalk dto her. Have a chance to defend myself …"

"So, it was clearly a lover's spat?" Kakashi clarified, cutting the dog trainer short.

Kiba nodded.

Kakashi sighed. "The big problem is she injured you halfway through your mission. Shino says a few of the bandits escaped, but you know where they were headed?"

Kiba nodded. "Tdea Tdown."

"Will you be able to sniff them out?" Kakashi asked.

"No, he will not," Sakura answered for him. Kiba frowned, opening his mouth to refute, but Sakura talked over him stated, "Ronnie clean broke his nose. It is going to take a week for his sinuses to heal, three weeks for his nose to finish healing, which means he needs to be resting. No exercise or strenuous activities, which means no missions." Kiba again opened his mouth to fight her doctor's orders, but Sakura continued, "Plus, he won't even be able to breath out of his nose. Especially since he's still bleeding, and I have to put in gauze, which I'll need to remove in a few days. He needs to ice his nose regularly for twenty minutes to reduce swelling. And I'd recommend an anti-inflammatory pain med for the first two weeks."

"Alright then," Kakashi sighed. He turned to Hinata and said, "Clearly, Shikamaru needs help handling those four, given it was around two when this happened, and they should have been busy under his training. So, you'll be staying in Konoha until they take their exams to make sure something like this doesn't happen again."

Hinata gave an affirmative nod.

"When you leave, tell Shikamaru and the girls I want to see them all in my office tomorrow morning," he added.

"Yes, Sir," she said with a bow.

Kakashi scratched his brow, turning to look outside, as if thinking. "Shino, I guess, will have to carry on the mission to Tea Town solo." He sighed, clearly not liking the turn of things, but knowing it was the only option. He gave a small nod, then silently to get back to his work. "See you all later."

Sakura frowned for a moment, then turned back to Kiba, holding up a glowing, healing hand as she said, "Now hold still for a bit."

Kiba winced, knowing her earlier statement of being a sadist was probably the truer than not needing him to tense.


It was another late evening in the Kazekage's office in Suna when Cordi chucked another signed report in the outbox before raising her hands up in a touchdown formation, announcing, "DONE!" Gaara looked up at his assistant, visible because his office door was open as usual. He watched her jump up from her chair, have a little dance, which was both celebratory and to clearly stretch her stiff neck, shoulders, and arms. He turned back to his own work with a smile as she sauntered over to his desk. "So, what about you?"

He paused, looking at his own work with a kind of bored curiosity. "Ehrm," he grumbled, his hairless eyebrows raising with tired surprise, "actually, only two reports left after this one."

She leaned over his desk again, looking at his paperwork as his gaze drifted almost autonomously to her breasts hanging so wonderfully for him in her white blouse. "Two!" she cheered, standing up with her hands on her hips. "I think that's a good stopping point. You still have something for the morning."

"You just want to call it a day?" Gaara sighed, eyeing her knowingly.

"Gaara, it's almost 9. We've worked for almost thirteen hours straight. The sun is almost down, and I haven't eaten yet!" she stated pointedly. "Mentally, I'm tapped out." He raised a hairless eyebrow at her, and she pouted. "I can't sign out until you do. You know this."

He rolled his eyes before standing up from his desk with a defeated sigh, "Fine. We'll call it a night."

"Thank you!" she praised.

They walked side by side up to the penthouse, Cordi practically skipping, which brought a small smile to Gaara's face. He liked seeing her happy like this. No talking. Both of them were too exhausted to carry a conversation. Just walking to the apartment in comfortable silence.

As they walked into the penthouse, Gaara noted both of his siblings were home, surprisingly. It wasn't often all three were home at the same time, although since Temari's break-up, it happened a little more often than the previous year. Kankuro was sat at the kitchen table, working on a puppet arm. If Gaara had to guess, it was Crow's. Kankuro had been complaining about its spring mechanism getting stuck again. Temari was lounging on the couch reading a book.

As the door clicked shut behind them, Kankuro looked up briefly before smirking as he went back to his puppet. "Well now, did our star-crossed lovers have a nice sunset stroll?"

The comment made Gaara's heart seize with nervousness. Kankuro had promised not to say anything about his crush.

"Quit being an ass, Kankuro," Cordi grumbled, walking past Gaara, oblivious to the Kazekage's inner turmoil. "You know we were working."

"Well, it is a couple days before the alignment, so the sunsets are particularly romantic this week. Also, seems pretty late to just be working," Kankuro commented, shooting Gaara a knowing look. Gaara only scowled back.

"Well, you know how it is," Cordi sighed, pulling some left overs out of the fridge. "Ain't no rest for the wicked." The phrase just earned confused expressions from the siblings. She frowned as she looked up, putting her food on the counter. "What?"

"What exactly do you mean by 'wicked'?" Temari asked as if the word had extra meaning, the brothers nodding along with her. Gaara blushing really hard, which was an odd expression for Cordi to see on the Kazekage.

"Huh?"

Kankuro shrugged. "Well, wicked means sinful, with lusting connotations here. So, it sounds like you two were out doing something sexual without sleep."

Gaara felt as if he were about to pass out from the insinuation.

"Ohmygod. NO," Cordi half laughed, half gasped, holding a hand up to stop their train of thought. "It's a really old saying in my world meaning one's work is never done, even in death. I think it comes from the bible."

Kankuro shook his head like the meaning was a stretch. He and Temari shared a look that said they weren't buying that. Gaara just continued to blush.

"No, seriously. There was a song that came out last year with a couple old idioms like that in the Chorus," Cordi pushed. She began to sing, "You know, there ain't no rest for the wicked. Money don't grow on trees. We got bills to pay. We got mouths to feed. There ain't nothing in this world for free."

Kankuro nodded, clearly not buying. He turned to Gaara and whispered, "You'll fill me in on the details later, right?"

Gaara blanched, shaking his head with an odd expression, clearly unsure how to respond at what level of negative.

"I said that's not what it means!" Cordi snapped, gripping the banana in her hand tightly.

Kankuro eyed her oddly, as he replied with a smirk, "And I'm calling bullshit." He looked back to Gaara, signing to him that Gaara should tell him the dirty details.

Cordi glowered at Kankuro, then picked up her phone and hit a number then another button to put it on speaker. "Cordi?" one of her friends answered.

"Hey Lynne," Cordi replied. "Have a question."

There was a paused, then Lynne huffed, "It's one in the morning."

"Sorry, I forgot the time difference," Cordi stated. "I'll be quick. What's the etymology of the phrase 'ain't no rest for the wicked?'"

Lynne sighed, then said, "Bible. Old Testament proverb from the book of Isaiah, which was originally translated to 'The Lord said, peace is not to wicked men.' Then some priest translated it to 'No rest for the wicked' in the 1500s, meaning sinners in Hell will be performing the same endless tasks as on Earth. It evolved to mean one's work never ends."

Kankuro frowned at the explanation as Cordi proudly sneered back. "You sure it doesn't have any sexual connotations?"

There was silence over the phone until, Lynne said, "Biblical wicked just means evil or generally sinful."

"Meaning lustful," Kankuro filled in.

"Meaning breaking one of the ten commandments, or in the sense you're talking, yeah falling to one of the seven deadly sins," Lynne clarified.

Kankuro's brow furrowed further. "The what?"

"Seven deadly sins?" Lynne clarified. "Lust is only one of them. The other six are envy, sloth, gluttony, greed, wrath and pride."

"I was more asking about the commandment things."

"Thanks, Lynne. Sorry for waking you up," Cordi said over the middle sand sibling.

"No you're not. You knew I wasn't asleep."

"I guessed," Cordi stated. "Good night."

"'Night."

Cordi closed her phone and sneered at Kankuro before she hissed, "I wasn't lying about the meaning. So quit acting like I'm one of your whores."

Kankuro rolled his eyes. "Geez, you're touchy."

A flash of anger flickered in Cordi's eyes as she said, "Well, you would be too if your chastity determined your value in society."

Kankuro scoffed. "No one cares about that stuff." Temari made a dissenting noise as Cordi scowled at him. "What?"

"There's literally books written about those social dynamics between kunoichi," Temari stated. "Most notably the Whore/Warrior complex. There's a whole class on it for kunoichi in school."

Cordi held her hand up as if Temari were providing her proof for her. Kankuro just looked at his sister as if she were crazy. "The what?"

"The whore/warrior complex," Temari stated. "Kunoichi are taught to use their sexuality as a weapon in certain situations, but doing so more often than not can lead to self-devaluation, especially when those situations result in a child, as the woman is no longer allowed to be a kunoichi, unlike men who are ninja until they die. In short, when a kunoichi is seen as a warrior, she is considered of higher value to the village, like a man, making her feel valuable. But when her chastity is questioned, she's seen as less valuable, because the higher risk of losing her as an asset, especially if she becomes pregnant out of wedlock."

Kankuro scoffed. "That's stupid. If that were the case, no kunoichi would have sex. And that's definitely not true. Hell, you and Shikamaru got it on!"

Temari blushed at the accusation, and Gaara looked at the ceiling, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. "Kankuro," Cordi said between gritted teeth, "stop digging. Or I'll have to invoke hell week."

"Hell week?"

"A week of pranks until you learn your lesson," Cordi stated. "A time-honored Turner tradition."

Kankuro scoffed. "Just pranks?"

Cordi just nodded.

Kankuro smiled. "I've been a Suna ninja for a decade. A jonin for the past five years. And you think some pranks are going to scare me?"

Cordi smiled a little too calmly as she walked up to him, before frowning curiously directly at his left shoulder.

"What?" he asked, a little annoyed.

She raised her hand slowly, directing, "Don't move. There's a beetle on you."

His reaction was immediate, slapping at his shoulder before he even looked. He paused, looking at his shoulder before noting he heard Cordi chuckling. "I knew that fight with Shino left some psychological scars."

Kankuro bared his teeth at her. "That was a cheap shot."

Cordi beamed evilly at him. "This'll be fun." She strode out, her evil grin highlighted by an excited gleam in her eye that made even Gaara shiver a little in fear.

Cordi made her way to the grocery store two blocks over, making sure to stay under the bright streetlamps as people walked around Suna's streets. Night in Suna was usually fairly lively, even on weeknights, Cordi found. Maybe it was because it was summer, and the sun wasn't quite set yet. Just a sliver over the Suna canyon. This week attracted bigger crowds on the evening street, as the tenth street was exhibiting a city-henge effect, what the Sand villagers called an alignment. Cordi had been hearing about it all day. Due to the city's clock-like set-up, they experienced four henge effects a year. One the first week of August, one at each equinox, and one the second week of February. Tenth street henge was a sign of Midsummer. This year, it was August 7th, or Friday. Leap years, it was the 6th.

It was a unique phenomenon in the ninja world belonging only to Suna because it was the only village with a clock set up, with six of its main streets running east and west at some degree, and three of its main west going streets were unobstructed to the flat desert, as the wall ended abruptly at eighth and tenth street. She'd noted Konoha was radial facing north and south, due to the Hokage Mountain. Cordi asked Gaara over lunch about the other villages' set up, and he'd explained Mist was spiraling roads, purposely designed to confuse newcomers to slow invasion. Cloud didn't have streets, as it was mostly shining balloon like structures built into Lightning's craggy cliff skyline, connected by bridges, covered and uncovered. And Stone was surrounded by tall mountains and waterfalls to the west that dwarfed Suna's walls and blocked the sunset from their streets.

So, on top of most of the stores ramping up for first Friday coming up that weekend, they were also preparing for the Midsummer festival, or what was also called the Summer Alignment festival. So, yes, the streets were packed with people, even at the late hour of 9:15. This also meant Cordi wasn't worried about stores being closed at this hour.

She'd made it to the market fairly quickly to grab supplies for her first several pranks. She'd ducked into a woman's clothing store first, originally planning on just replacing his normal underwear with silk and lace thongs. But then she found panties with the days of the week printed on them in frilly letters with lace trim around the leg and hip openings, and knew they were the ones. That would only be a minor annoyance though. She needed something bigger for each day going on. She'd made her way to the grocery store, getting a whole trout in the fish section, a large bag of packing peanuts, plastic cups, and other supplies.

She was slowed as she tried to think how best to start hell week. She knew she needed to start big. The panties were a minor annoyance. The fish would take a couple days to pay off. The packing peanuts might be fun, but it wasn't show stopping. The plastic cups would work, but ultimately, Cordi decided that prank was a finisher.

"Cordi?" someone called to her across the produce section.

She looked up with surprise, recognizing the person when her eyes landed on him. "Ryomen. Hey."

He walked up to her, peering in her cart with odd interest as he said, "Surprised to catch you here. What's all this?"

Cordi pursed her lips, looking down at her cart realizing her shopping choices did look a bit conspicuous. "Oh, just some late-night shopping," she answered, waving it off as if it didn't mean anything.

Ryomen's brow furrowed as he noted, "Trout and packing peanuts."

"Ok, fine," she sighed, holding her hands up in surrender. "You caught me. One of my roommates was being an ass. And I've decided he needs to be taught a lesson. So, these are my tools to destroy him."

He made a contemplative "oh," face.

She shrugged, feeling a blush creep to her cheeks as she admitted, "I know. It's really petty."

"Eh," he grunted with a shrug, clearly not wanting to provide an opinion on her actions. "I was more curious about your roommate being a guy."

"One of," Cordi clarified, curious why that would be an issue.

Ryomen made a slightly worried expression, not meeting her eyes as he asked, "Well, is he like a boyfriend or something?"

"What?" Cordi laughed. The question itself was laughable. "Ew, no." She stuck her tongue out with a small gag. She shook her head, still almost snorting at the idea. "No, he's just an asshole."

That confirmation seemed to put Ryomen at ease. "Oh. Well, then what's your plan."

Cordi eyed him speculatively, then began to list out her prank plans for him, pointing out each object in her cart and explaining its specific use. "I'm currently stuck on how to start. I have an idea, but it's the first one, so I feel like it needs some pizazz or spice, y'know?" she finished.

Ryomen tongued his cheek, which was an odd expression to see in a man as pretty as him, she noted. Gaara wouldn't be caught dead with an expression like that. "Spice?" he asked, his expression twisting to a similar impish curiosity that Cordi got when she was planning something particularly devilish.

A flash of excitement shot through Cordi's eyes as she asked, "What'cha got?"

He smirked, wagging a finger at her to follow him. She did as he directed, following him to the peppers. He reached down to a sickening dark red pepper, holding it gingerly from its bright green stem. It was twisted and curled in on itself to a point, reminding Cordi of a scorpion's tail. She saw it was labeled, "Suna Scorpion Pepper."

Ryomen raised an eyebrow, and asked, "You have any experience juicing a pepper?"

"I've gotten habanero juice in my eye before, if that counts," Cordi answered worriedly.

"Well, there you go," Ryomen stated, placing the pepper in a bag. He carefully grabbed two more, adding, "This is all you need max."

"Well, what is it?"

"A Suna specialty," he said with a smile. As he twisted the bag close, he added, "You might also want to get gloves." Cordi nodded, before saying her goodbyes. She had everything she needed. As she talked to the person who checked her out, she realized Ryomen had led her on the perfect path for her first prank.


Ronnie stood alongside her sister and friends, chewing on her lips nervously. She knew she had been brought in for attacking Kiba yesterday, but she wasn't sure why the rest of her team was brought in. Surely, only she should take the blame for it. She was ready to take the blame for it.

She wasn't apologetic. Far from it. Kiba deserved being knocked back and his nose broken for treating her like a fool. He'd lied. Directly to her face, which was worse. He told her Tamaki was just some fling from several months ago. Not a girl he was madly in love with and dating when he started flirting with Ronnie. It made Ronnie feel gross. If he did that while with a woman he loved, he'd definitely do that while with a woman he felt lukewarm about.

She'd thought he'd been single. Someone had told her he was single. Whoever that was, she was going to break their nose too, she decided. When Shikamaru stepped in, suddenly smelling heavily of cigarette smoke, Ronnie remembered. He'd told her Kiba was single. In one of the first conversations she had with the shadow ninja. He'd said that Kiba wasn't with anyone. She scowled at him, but he seemed impervious to the girls' glares, staring directly ahead to the Hokage.

Kakashi cleared his throat, garnering the squad's awareness. "It has come to my attention that an incident occurred yesterday afternoon during your training session involving you and another ninja," he started.

Shikamaru remained stoic, having heard what happened from Hinata, who stood next to him.

"Kiba Inuzuka was supposed to be back for only a day before returning to his mission, which has been jeopardized due to his broken nose," Kakashi added looking at his papers. Fred let out a small snort at the information while Ronnie suppressed a proud smile. Kakashi glared at both of them. "You find this funny." It was more a statement than a question, but his tone was laced with lethality.

"If I may," Lynne offered, "Kiba had lied about his relationships to two women. Had he been more forthright and honest, his nose would still be intact."

Kakashi smiled with his eyes, but it was clearly hiding annoyance. "You think so?"

Lynne sheepishly stepped back, mumbling a small, "Yes Sir."

Kakashi let out a small huff through his nose before stating, "Well, his actions didn't cost me a mission. Yours did." He lifted up a sheet of paper on his desk as he added, "For that, you all will be punished accordingly." The girls began to protest, but he silenced them with a hand. "For the next week, you will take over cleaning the school instead of taking lunch. And Shikamaru, you are to up their training by double. If they're going to start costing me missions, they better be able to make up for them."

"Yes, Sir," Shikamaru stated.

"Hinata will be staying with you to assist in their training for the rest of the semester until they graduate." Kakashi added.

"Yes, Sir," Hinata affirmed.

Fred raised her hand. He nodded for her to speak. "Cleaning the school might take longer than the hour we're allowed to eat lunch. Will our training schedule be altered to accommodate this—"

"No," Kakashi answered before she finished. "And you best not be late, or Shikamaru will institute harder training for the day. Am I clear?"

"Crystal," Fred grumbled, looking at the floor.

"If I may, Lord Kakashi," Ronnie started, stepping forward. "I acted alone," she said, placing a hand on her chest. "Kiba jilted me, and so I … acted aggressively towards him. Please do not punish them for my actions."

"Not to mention it's against the Geneva Convention," Fred commented.

Lynne cleared her throat as Kakashi, Shikamaru and Hinata looked at her with varying levels of concern and confusion. "Fred, they don't even have a Geneva."

"They don't have a …" Fred began to snap, only to realize. Geneva was a town in their home-world where the convention happened. Of course they wouldn't play by the same rules. "Well, back home, we have a set of rules set up and agreed to by the majority of nations that outlines what constitutes inhumane punishment and the rules of warfare going forward, and what would warrant it."

"While that is fascinating," Kakashi started, sounding a little annoyed before he leaned back in his chair, a haunted look appearing in his black eyes as he stated, "Many times, it's our team who suffers for our mistakes rather than ourselves." He looked at them each before stating, "For now, they must share your punishment as your team." Ronnie opened her mouth to fight, but Kakashi gestured for them to leave, and Shikamaru and Hinata ushered them out.

Rox was the last to leave the Hokage's office, and Shikamaru and she shared an annoyed look, as if having a psychic debate about things until Rox rolled her eyes and stormed off. Shikamaru grabbed a cigarette that had been perched behind his ear, then called back to them, "Remember, be on the field by one-thirty," as he lit it up. Rox scowled at his cigarette as he turned to leave, trailing smoke behind him like a train.

Fred didn't turn around as she grumbled out of earshot, "I got your one-thirty," flipping the floor, not daring to get into any more trouble.

"Sorry, guys," Ronnie said, her voice disheartened by the turn of events. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble."

"Nah," Lynne scoffed. "Don't apologize."

Rox nodded, stating, "Kiba deserved that broken nose."

Fred wrapped her arm around Ronnie's shoulders as she half cheered, half laughed, "Yeah. He should have known better to mess with a Buchanan. We're not afraid to knock a man right on his ass."

For the first time in ages, Ronnie felt accepted by the older sisters of the squad when Cordi wasn't around. It was odd how the social dynamic had set itself up within their group. Whenever Cordi left, she was suddenly an extra wheel, a hanger-on the others ignored for the most part unless she did something ridiculous. Without Cordi, they weren't the Odd Squad liked they called themselves in school. If Cordi was absent for whatever reason, Ronnie became just the little sister tagging along. And she always hated it.

But in this moment, she was one of them. It was …. Nice.


Tuesday morning, Cordi sat at the breakfast table, drinking tea smugly from a mug as she skirted glances down the hallway, which struck the Kazekage as odd. It was seven o'clock. She was awake early and too excited for her normal morning demeanor. Gaara decided not to comment, instead sitting at the head of the table next to Cordi, pouring his tea and grabbing his toast.

He'd done his best to ignore her antics last night. Right after Cordi returned from the market, she immediately went back to her room, in suspicious silence. Gaara had stayed up late last night, suspicious of her behavior. Kankuro had shrugged off her threat, stating earlier that Cordi wouldn't do anything serious. He'd gone to sleep at a reasonable hour thirty minutes after Temari, and almost an hour later, Cordi emerged from her room. Gaara peeked out to see her rummaging through Kankuro's dresser, dumping his underwear on the floor while his brother snored. He'd closed the door, thinking it was better to not get involved, especially when he smelled smoke from his open balcony door, but now he wondered if he should have.

Temari sat in her usual seat on Cordi's other side, also drinking her tea, eating her toast, and doing the paper's crossword. Or sudoku. She usually did both before the start of her day. Kankuro, predictably, was still asleep. But he usually woke up soon.

Even though he'd been a bit drunk last night, confessing to two glasses of whisky when Cordi had left, attributing it to his joking attitude, he clearly wasn't so far gone to cause a hangover. He'd likely just be a little bleary and eat twice as much toast as usual.

A few more minutes passed wordlessly, which was normal in the penthouse. Temari and Gaara were usually happy to sit in silence unless one of them had a particular conversation in mind. Cordi was usually too tired, which was why this morning was odd. Kankuro was usually the chatterbox.

Then, the last bedroom door opened, and Cordi visibly stiffened as they heard Kankuro pad to the bathroom noisily. Gaara recognized the expression on her face as one he would sometimes wear in his darker days when he'd thought about how special he'd murder someone. As an adult, he realized crushing everyone to death wasn't so much creative like he used to think, but rather easy. But he remembered being gleefully proud of what he then perceived to be ingenuity. That's what her expression was. Gleeful pride at her own ingenuity. And it was eerie.

She stayed quiet as she silently fought back that gleeful smile.

Then they heard it. It start small and guttural. Kankuro groaning from the bathroom. "Mm… Sssssss ah?" The faucet turned on. "….Ow? OW! JEEZ FUCK!" He banged his fist on the door as he yelled, "CORDI!"

Cordi smiled broader, but didn't answer. Both Gaara and Temari exchanged glances between the hall bathroom where Kankuro was and Cordi. They could hear him pulling up his pants, dropping f-bombs left and right before he came stumbling out of the bathroom. He stood hunched over as he pinched his legs together, looking like he had to pee. His face was red, and beads of sweat were building on his brow. He hadn't gotten to putting his face-paint on yet. "Fffffffwhooo," he breathed out, starting to pant.

"Kankuro?" Temari asked, sounding a little worried.

He pointed an accusing finger at Cordi and growled, "What did you do to me?"

Cordi looked at him with half-hearted innocence. "Is something the matter?"

Kankuro looked livid, but didn't move, Gaara guessed from pain or discomfort. Instead, the older brother curled his hand into a fist, lightly punching his thigh as he said, "My dick … is on fire."

She made a worried face, and hissed as if feeling his pain. "Oh. That sounds like a painful STD," she offered, although her proud smile gave away her innocent expression. "You might have to go to the hospital," Cordi added. She pursed her lips with a shrug as she added, "But, they might just chop it right off."

Kankuro just glared, one eye starting to twitch.

"Just take a shower, Kankuro," Temari suggested, going back to her puzzle.

Through gritted teeth, he stated, "Water makes it worse."

All three siblings looked at Cordi, who rolled her eyes with an affable shrug. "Well, I guess it is possible someone snuck into your room last night," she started, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small jar with an odd light red liquid in it with black flakes, and turning it in her hands as she continued, "after carefully pureeing a Suna Scorpion Pepper, and soaked your fingers in its juices." She turned to Kankuro and shrugged as if it was highly unlikely. "But that would just take so much time."

Kankuro panted a few times, his face a mixture between enraged and in awe, resulting in a painful scream before he ducked back into the bathroom. "Temari, get me the sweet milk!" he cried.

Temari quickly jumped into action running to the fridge.

Cordi set the jar on the table in front of her victoriously. "Welcome to Hell Week, Kankuro," she called out with a grin. "Don't touch your face either!" Gaara heard him crying from the bathroom as Cordi said to him conspiratorially, "You do not want that shit in your eyes."

Gaara watched her with a mix of awe and fear as she got up and dumped the pepper juice in the sink, so Kankuro couldn't use her spells against her once he'd recovered. The Suna Scorpion Pepper was one of the hottest peppers in the world. Nothing stopped the heat except time. Gaara had even heard of a lot of people just getting sick from trying it. And she'd pureed one for joke?

He watched her as she downed the rest of her tea in a gulp, and grabbed her toast, putting it in her mouth, before tapping Gaara's shoulder. "Time for work," she declared, making her way to the front door. Gaara looked at the clock and saw it was indeed time to start working.

As they made their way downstairs, Gaara asked, "What were you doing with Kankuro's underwear?"

She looked at him, clearly surprised she'd been seen. She only smirked, and said, "Updating his wardrobe."

His eyes narrowed at her as he asked, "Is that why I smelled smoke?"

She pursed her lips as they got near her desk, saying a small, "Maybe."

Gaara frowned. "Cordi…" he chided.

"He can buy new ones!"

Gaara rolled his eyes under his eyelids as he turned to his office. This week was shaping up to be more problematic than he'd hoped. But again, Kankuro had dared her to do her worst.


"Hey Fred," Akirama called as he and his friends walked into Nomu Ki, which was busier than usual for a Wednesday night. Fred waved at them, pointing to the table where her friends were sitting, knowing they were planning on meeting up with them. Apparently, Rox and Akirama had another date. So Akirama's friends had agreed to party with Lynne and Ronnie at Nomu Ki, so Fred could join in, even though she had work. And she didn't mind a busy Wednesday night. It just meant more tips for her, which meant more money to move out of the dorm.

They were halfway through the ninja class term, with the final exam in a little more than a month, and after watching the show, well the first several arcs, she had no doubts she'd pass the test. But becoming a ninja felt like the wrong move for her. She couldn't align herself with the armies of child soldiers, even if the younger teams were only supposed to do simple jobs, like dog-walking, but it didn't talk a genius to see the mission system was broken. This world was big. She was still finding her place, and she wasn't even sure if she'd stay in Konoha, or if she'd want to. Her crush for Kankuro bloomed while watching the show, and she could see one day maybe settling down with him. And becoming a ninja to a country she wasn't even sure about staying in? Hell, she just wasn't comfortable throwing her loyalties to a nation she didn't agree with.

Her friends kept talking like her having this job as a bartender was the position that would go away as soon as they graduated, but she was quite comfortable with her earnings there. Enough so she'd already told Yuri she planned to stay on and become full-time. She wouldn't have to worry about poorly assigned missions, or the possibility of being the one assigned to a younger team. That's one thing she didn't think her friends had considered. Teams were made up of three genin and one jonin. That was very clear. Either Shikamaru or Hinata was going to end up as the girls' jonin leader, that was obvious, but there were four girls. One would be bumped to another genin team, meaning middle school brats, of that Fred was fairly certain, and it sure as hell wouldn't be her.

No, she'd happily bypass that and become a full-time bartender, heck maybe even evening shift manager, making big bucks plus the tips she made on busy nights.

Rox and Akirama got up from their table, gave them a salute, the both waved at Fred as they made their way out of the bar. The bar filled more and more after that, but Fred was keeping up with ease as the new waitress delivered food to tables. She wasn't keeping up as well as Yuri liked, as far as Fred understood, so she doubted the girl would be there much longer. Fred just made sure the bar was well tended, since it was the most crowded spot at the moment. People waiting for tables, people just wanting a drink, and people just hoping for a chance meeting. She saw all types sitting at her bar.

A new face walked in, nudging through to stand at the bar, clearly looking for someone. She had chestnut brown hair tied up in buns and gray brown eyes. If Fred hadn't known this was the world of Naruto, she'd have confused her for Yuffie Kisaragi from Final Fantasy. There was a similar cheerful, yet intense, vibe about her. As Fred finished mixing and handing off her last order, she leaned over to the woman and called out over the din, "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for someone who works here," the lady replied. "A woman named Fred?"

"You're looking at her," Fred stated, setting her shoulders as she stood straighter.

"Oh!" the lady said, her eyes shining with relief. "I thought you were older."

Fred pursed her lips, not really thinking the comment was exactly a complement. "Can I help you?" She didn't hold back the gruffness in her tone.

"Oh, my name's Tenten," the woman stated. "Ayame at Ichiraku said you might be able to help me with something."

"Tenten," Fred repeated, realizing exactly who she was from the anime. She hadn't recognized her at first, but now she could see irrefutably that it was the weapons specialist from Team Gai. "Sure, what's up."

"Well, I'm in a bit of a pickle," Tenten started. "See, my teammate, Lee, started dating this girl a few months ago. It's gotten serious I think, and he keeps demanding I meet her. I was avoiding it, because he can be a bit obnoxious and … well I have my reasons," she waved off.

"Excuse me!" someone called at the end of the bar. Fred held up a finger seeing the man holding up an empty glass, meaning he wanted a refill. Fred moved to get started on the guy's drink. Tenten wasn't here to order a drink, and Fred had customers to tend to.

"The point is," Tenten rushed, following Fred down the bar, "I made up a guy, a boyfriend, as an excuse not to go out with Lee and meet his girlfriend. Long story short, he outmaneuvered me into a double date, and I don't have a boyfriend to take."

Fred frowned at her as she passed the drink to the thirsty man at the end of the bar. "I'm sorry," she laughed, looking at Tenten slightly confused, "what exactly do you want from me?"

"Well, Ayame said you were some sort of matchmaker. She said you got Iruka to ask her out, and they're very happy. And apparently you set up Naruto and Hinata," Tenten listed.

"That's two couples," Fred said, still a bit confused. "Two dots make a line, not a pattern."

"Please, I'm desperate," Tenten said, pressing her hands together in a prayer formation. When Fred rolled her eyes moving to the next customer, Tenten added, "I'll pay you!"

Fred sighed, placing her hands on the bar. Of course, money spoke volumes to her. "How much?"

"Fifty dollars," Tenten offered, reaching back into her pouch. "I need someone by tomorrow evening, otherwise I'm screwed." She produced the fifty, holding it out to Fred.

Fred licked her lips, thinking about it, then huffed, "Are you picky?"

"About?"

Fred shrugged, "Looks, name, job …"

"Oh was fairly vague about everything except the name," Tenten stated. "I need a man roughly my age named Sota."

Fred chewed the inside of her cheek as she thought. "Sota?"

Tenten looked slightly embarrassed as she stated, "It's the popular men's name in the Land of Fire. I figured a decent Sota would be easy to find if the need ever came up, but …" She trailed off, clearly sheepish about the whole thing.

Fred looked around the bar chewing on her lip as she thought. None of her regulars were Sotas. Her gaze landed on the table of her friends and the local ninjas they'd befriended. She eyed Kobe and Sora, who were laughing at something Lynne had said. Kobe was looking at the redhead closely, but Fred's eyes settled on Sora, who was taking a sip of his beer. He was average height, around five foot nine, maybe five foot ten. He had dark brown hair that looked black in some lights, and almond shaped russet brown eyes. His smile was easy once he was in comfortable company with pearly white, not to mention straight, teeth. He reminded Fred a bit of Joseph Gordon Levitt, especially in the brow, eyes and mouth. Except his eyes were darker. They'd seen more.

She puffed out her cheeks as she thought about it more. He was a decent guy. They'd known the guys for a month now, so she felt good in her assessment of their characters. She had no qualms about setting someone up with them if they were willing. She let out the air she was holding in a steady stream, chewing on her lip before offering, "Would you be able to work with a Sora?"

"Asura?" Tenten asked, wincing a little.

"No. Sora. I know a guy named Sora," Fred clarified. "He's single, I think… I mean he might be ok with doing this. He's the kind of guy who does weird favors."

"Sora," Tenten repeated, giving a small nod. "I could work with Sora."

"Great," Fred chirped. "I'll just go talk to him."

Tenten blanched. "He's here?"

"Yeah," Fred replied, walking around the bar, "Lucky for you." She made her way over to Sora and said, "Hey, got a proposition for you."

He looked at her oddly, then shrugged and said, "Sure, go ahead."

"So, a chick named Tenten needs a date for a double date tomorrow night, and your name is closest to what she told her teammate," Fred explained. "Are you up for it?"

He looked at her as if she sprouted a second head, then half scowled, half smirked, "Very funny." He sneered at Kobe, pointing an accusing finger as he said, "You put her up to this, didn't you."

Kobe shook his head adamantly, his hands up in surrender. "Absolutely not," he stated.

Sora rolled his eyes, "Like I believe you." He turned back to Fred, and said, "You can tell Akirama to go fuck himself."

"Fairly certain it's not Akirama," Fred stated, gathering that something had happened between his team and him in regards to girls asking him out. "She's at the bar watching me talk to you, so, if it's a no, I'll go ahead and tell her."

At that, he spun around and saw Tenten watching them from the bar. She waved awkwardly at them from the bar, and Sora blanched. Kobe leaned over and said, "Dude, I think that's actually her."

Sora jumped up and strode over before Fred could offer again. She followed quickly behind him as he stood wordlessly in front of Tenten who looked a little confused. "Tenten, Sora Shimura. Sora, Tenten."

"Nice to meet you," she said with a polite bow.

"Haaa," he breathed awkwardly. "W-we've met before," he corrected. She frowned, and he stated, "We went to school together."

She frowned as if trying to place him. "We did?"

"Yeah," he said. "I sat two seats over from Neji."

"Oh," she breathed, sounding a bit sad.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to …"

"No, it's ok," she said with smile. "At least now I know why I didn't…" She winced as she said, "I'm sorry."

"No," he waved off. "You were hardly the only girl who had a thing for him." She looked at the floor, clearly saddened. Sora waved his hands awkwardly. "I'm sorry. Let's start over." He pointed to himself, saying, "I'm Sora."

She smiled, rolling her eyes. "Tenten."

He reached for her hand before giving it a sound shake. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you," she chuckled back, clearly finding humor in the bizarre manner of these third time introductions.

Fred decided to take a step away as he started to take the wheel of the conversation, leaning on the bar suggestively as he said, "So, Fred tells me you need a date with my name tomorrow night."

Tenten winced, but still smiled as she said, "If your free, I'd appreciate it."

"I'm free," he said quickly, his gaze not moving from her. Almost as if he didn't even need to think about it. If he had plans, they were already canceled

"I have to warn you," she said, "it's with Lee and his girlfriend, who I haven't met yet. So you should be prepared for very upbeat personalities."

He nodded chewing his cheek as he stated, "I remember Lee."

"Oh," Tenten said with a smile, sounding very relieved. "So you know what to expect."

"Yeah," he stated. He gestured to the bar, and asked, "Can I get you a drink? Tell me a bit more about this date?"

She nodded following to the bar as they ordered their drinks, which Fred made quickly. Three for three, Fred noted as she cleaned up a used glass. Maybe I should write these down…


There was a knock on Gaara's door, and before he could tell them to walk in, the door swung open with Cordi sashaying through holding up some documents victoriously. "Gaara. Gaa~ra," she half sang, waving the document back and forth. He frowned as she looked at her grinning ear to ear as she said, "This is the last one."

"Last one what?" he asked boredly.

"The last report in the inbox," she stated, shaking it a little excitedly. "We are all caught up!"

He narrowed his eyes on her as she placed the document on his desk. "This just needs your final signature, and we're all done." He looked towards his inbox which was still several documents deep. Less than was normal before Cordi started assisting him, but it was still there. She followed his gaze, then sighed, "Fine, I'm all done."

He sighed, deciding to give her that. "We have been doing a lot better."

She grinned as she let out a victorious groan, "Finally, I've got a Friday that feels like Friday. I'm getting a weekend."

He nodded, mostly watching her as she waltzed about his office. He couldn't remember the last time he had a weekend. His job was almost always a seven days a week kind of job. He set his pen down and asked, "What do you plan on doing?" he asked. "With your weekend, I mean."

She crossed her arms and looked up, thinking about it, "I dunno. Probably sleep. And well, my last couple Hell Week pranks."

Gaara sighed at that, hoping she'd have forgotten them with her good mood. She'd been steady about the pranks every day this week. Tuesday was the hot sauce. Wednesday was the fog horns on all of his usual chairs. Thursday, yesterday, she'd put a bucket of flour above his bedroom door while he was in the shower. Plus the underwear. And apparently replacing his porn magazine stash with gay porn magazines. "Yes, the porn and underwear do seem a bit overkill, though," he commented.

She scoffed. "He's lucky I didn't have access to my world's internet. I'd have Rule 34-ed his ass."

Gaara frowned at the comment. "I'm sorry?"

She shook her head, waving away his question as she grumbled, "You don't wanna' know."

There was something Gaara found deeply troubling about her lack of clarification, but he decided not to push it. "Also," he started, shifting in his seat uncomfortably, "there's a strange – ungodly aroma coming from his room. I caught Kankuro sleeping on the couch this morning."

"I put a fish in his box spring on …" she paused, counting the days on her fingers, "Monday night, so four days ago?" She frowned further as she pointed out, "Hey, it's Friday."

"Yes, we established that," Gaara replied monotonously, frowning that she'd think it was of note.

"Matsuri's team got in on Wednesday, right?" she turned to him looking more than curious. More like there was a mystery she must solve afoot.

"They did," Gaara answered.

"But she hasn't come by to see you," Cordi more stated than answered. Gaara shook his head, not entirely thinking it too odd. Sure, Matsuri historically tried to set up a date as soon as they were in Suna together, but surely couples didn't always meet as soon as they were in town. Cordi frowned at his blasé response. She turned, half sitting half leaning on the edge of his desk as she crossed her arms in thought. "Did something happen between you two?"

Gaara pursed his lips, remembering his and Matsuri's last night. More like something not happening felt like the wrong thing to tell Cordi, so he only shrugged. "I'm sure I'll hear from her soon."

Cordi opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by cries turning into laughter down the hall. Then Kankuro angrily stormed in, his usual makeup looking extra fabulous with purple glitter gleaming in the LED lights, with an extra sheen that looked as if it had hardened on his skin. It looked as if he'd tried to wash it off, but had only managed to streak the purple, and scatter the glitter. Plus his hair looked sopping wet. Cordi tried her best to stifle a chuckle under a fake cough as the puppet ninja blew past the her with a withering look before leaning over his brother's desk as he said, "Reign in your woman."

Gaara only flicked a tired gaze at her.

"Looks like an improvement," Cordi stated.

Kankuro scowled. "You replaced my face-paint with ink, glitter, and glue as best I can guess. And my hair gel with edible lube and more fucking glitter," he hissed.

Cordi rolled her eyes. "Come on Kankuro. Don't get your Friday's in a twist."

Kankuro scoffed, "Let's not forget you put flashbangs on the toilet, which left a mark." He whirled on Gaara as he added, "And there is definitely something dead and rotting in my bedroom. I saw a crow pecking at my window when I was getting my clothes." He pointed an accusing finger at Gaara as he threatened, "Reign her in, Gaara, or I'll be forced to take drastic measures."

Gaara gave a small nod, giving Cordi a pursed glance.

The older sand brother straightened himself before giving Cordi another withering glare, stating, "I've got to run out and see if acetone will remove the glue easier, because regular soap did nothing." And with that, he was gone.

Cordi let out a chortling laugh, half screeching to herself, "Perfect!" praising her own brilliance.

"I need you to clean up that fish in Kankuro's bed," Gaara ordered.

"But –" Cordi started, "that's the week-long prank. That and the panties."

"Cordi," Gaara grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose, "it's attracting scavengers. And to be honest, I can smell it down in my room."

"You must have a very strong nose," Cordi remarked.

Gaara ignored the comment and settled a tired gaze on her as he ordered with some finality, "Just clean it up. Now."

"Fine," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "Killjoy," she added under her breath as she pushed herself off his desk and waltzed out of his office towards the penthouse.

Gaara rubbed his eyes tiredly, not sure exactly what he'd done before meeting Naruto that earned him this level of Hell of his brother and woman he had a slight thing for having a week-long pissing contest. He picked up his pen to get back to work when he heard a knock on his office door. He looked up, seeing his girlfriend for the first time in two and a half weeks.

"Is this a bad time?" Matsuri asked. She wore her pink dress with black leggings she liked to wear recently. She had a cream half cloak over her shoulders, fastened at her collarbone, her free hand fingering the corner of once side nervously.

Gaara smiled, always happy to see her. "Not at all."

She smiled back, although something in her expression didn't look completely happy. Gaara reasoned she was probably still tired. The Cloud was a six-day journey on foot. She jutted her thumb over her shoulder as she asked. "Do you have time for a break?"

Gaara sucked in a breath, then nodded, dropping his pen on the report he was on. He could find his spot later. He got up, and led Matsuri to the elevators.


Shikamaru stood in the training fields, sucking deep on the cigarette between his fingers, watching the opening for any sign of the girls. He looked at his watch noting they were twenty minutes late already. He blew out his smoke with a grumble, "What a goddamn drag. Waste of my fucking weekend."

"That's a horrible habit," Hinata remarked.

He looked at her holding up the cigarette, as if entertained by the comment, "Really? I thought these were healthy." He chuckled to himself before placing the cigarette back on his lips and taking another drag.

Hinata frowned, not appreciating his sarcasm. She looked at the gate before stating, "Ino told us you'd quit when you with Temari."

He shrugged as he replied pointedly, "I'm not with Temari anymore."

"Well, this week is the first time I've seen you smoking since you broke up with her months ago," Hinata remarked softly. Shikamaru set his jaw at that. Her gaze shifted over to him as she asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

He flicked off a bit of ash to the ground. "Not particularly," he answered before taking another drag.

Hinata rolled her eyes, but didn't comment further as Lynne's flame red hair became visible, shortly followed by the other three girls sprinting to the field.

Shikamaru sucked hard on his last drag before dropping the cigarette and stomping it out. The girls ran up to them, their last few steps making heavy thuds as they slowed. He noted Rox and Ronnie breathing heavily, Rox with her hands on her knees. "You're thirty minutes late," he stated.

"Dumbass – middle schoolers – had a food fight – during lunch – that we had to – clean up," Fred answered between gasps. Lynne and Rox behind her were doing breathing exercises to get their breath under control. "We ran here as fast as we could," Fred finished.

Shikamaru gave them a pursed frowned before he replied, "That sounds like it's not my problem." The girls balked at his callousness as he added, "You remember what Lord Kakashi said. Double time. Run." Fred and Lynne glared at him as Rox just looked sad. "Go!" he ordered, done caring about what they'd thought of him. He was their team leader, not their friend.

Fred and Lynne looked back to Rox as Ronnie began to run her first lap of two around the field. Rox only nodded. I'll run with her, Fred mouthed at Lynne. The redhead nodded as she took off. Rox began to run behind her with Fred trailing. Fred and Rox set a slow pace, Fred watching Rox carefully. As soon as they got to the first corned, Fred could hear Rox rasping. "Don't push yourself," Fred huffed. "Focus on your breathing."

Rox did her best, but Fred could hear her breathing struggling already.

"ROX! FRED! PICK UP THE PACE!" Shikamaru yelled across the field as the turned the second corner to the longest stretch of the field. Ronnie and Lynne were already past halfway down.

"Fuck off," Fred huffed, glaring at the pineapple head. Rox picked up her pace a little, and Fred gasped, "Don't!" But Rox maintained it, and Fred picked up her pace to keep up. Outside, Rox looked fine, but Fred could tell Rox wasn't breathing.

All Fred could do was watch as her best friend reached the three-quarter mark and immediately slow to a stop, gasping for breath her lungs couldn't pull in. Rox's eyes were wide with panic as Fred paused with her. "Rox, breath," she tried, noting her friends lips had begun to turn blue.

"WHY ARE YOU STOPPING!?" Shikamaru called out.

Rox put her hand on her diaphragm, as if to physically pull in air and focus on the muscle instead but it wasn't working. Fred could see from the way her head bobbed and her throat moved that the air was getting stuck in the back of her throat.

"Rox," Fred cried, grabbing her hand, "don't panic. Just breath"

Rox's eyes began to roll back, and Fred reached for her screaming, "HELP!" Rox immediately collapsed, falling into Fred to her knees, and then to the ground in a heap, her body twitching in Fred's arms. "ROX! HEEEELP! PLEASE HELP!" she cried, adjusting Rox to lie on her back as she shook her, trying to rouse her back to consciousness. She was only just barely aware of the tears streaming down her face as she cried out, "HELP! HELP!"

Suddenly, Shikamaru and Hinata were standing over them, having shunshined from their positions. Shikamaru quickly dropped to his knees as he pushed Fred out of the way. He checked her nose and mouth, then her jugular, dread pitting in his stomach as he realized she wasn't breathing, and her heart beat was dropping fast. "She's not breathing," he announced, "I'm starting CPR." He started with the chest compressions, placing his hands over one another over her sternum, starting a steady rhythm he looked at Rox, only her head moving a little under his pounding.

"What happened?" Hinata breathed as Ronnie and Lynne sprinted over, crying out "ROX!"

"She has – exercise induced asthma," Fred answered between sobs, her hand over her mouth as she tried to control her own breathing. "Her inhaler went dead a week and a half ago."

"Asthma?" Hinata gasped.

"Why the fuck didn't any of you tell us this!?" Shikamaru snapped, keeping count of his compressions in his head.

"She didn't want it to hinder her chances," Lynne stated between breaths. "She swore us to keep it secret."

"STUPID!" he howled, finishing the first rep of compressions, then tilted her head back and he breathed into her mouth, hating the cold feel of her lips on his. They should be warm and lively, kissing him back. He pulled back up and began the second rep of compressions as he directed, "Hinata, go get Sakura. She'll die if she doesn't get a medic now."

Hinata nodded, then shunshined away.

Fred wailed as Ronnie held her close, running her hands through her hair as she cried quietly. Lynne stepped forward, kneeling across from him, saying, "I took anatomy last year. What do you need me to do?"

"Uhm, grab her wrist and keep count of her heart beat," he answered.

Lynne nodded, grabbing Rox's limp wrist and finding her pulse with two fingers.

He looked at Rox's face, feeling his heart breaking a bit as the back of his mind said this was his fault. He should have seen the signs. Rox was dying, and it was his fault. Someone he cared about was dying again because he hadn't paid attention. He breathed into her mouth again, praying, Don't die on me, Rox. I'm not done with you.


"So, the mission was a success?" Gaara asked as he pushed open the doors to the Kazekage's training hall, which sat in the basement of the Kazekage building.

"Yes, very much so," Matsuri replied, a little stiltedly. "I believe Mai Sensei will be giving you a detailed report in the morning." She carried herself rather guardedly at the moment, Gaara noted. He hoped it wasn't because she was with him. She never had that issue before.

He grabbed her hand, which she looked at surprised until the door clicked, and he swooped in, pressing his lips to hers. When significant others were separated for a while, the general reunion expected would contain a kiss. That's what she told him last time. Might as well get it out of the way so they could continue unhindered on their date. He counted to three, then pulled away. She looked at him blankly, but he sensed a glimmer of pity in her eyes. Now that was odd. "I'm really glad you're home. I don't think we left things in a good place …"

"When I went to the Cloud?" she filled in.

"Yes," he breathed. He looked at her apologetically, but then he saw that glimmer in her eyes again. That pity.

She closed her eyes as she sighed, "Gaara, we need to talk." She rubbed her brow a little, then asked, "Is there somewhere we can sit? I've been getting these dizzy spells recently."

"Of course," he said quickly, gesturing to the bench on the side of the room. He guided her to it, and she sat down, taking several deep breaths. Something was wrong. "Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine," Matsuri replied tiredly.

He knelt down in front of her, resuming his old role of protective sensei as he looked her over. "You're not sick, are you?"

"I told you I'll be fine!" Matsuri snapped, which took him aback. Matsuri rarely if ever raised her voice, especially to Gaara. She gave a pained, apologetic grimace as she huffed, "I said we need to talk."

He paused at that. Clearly this talk was more important than her health, at least she deemed it so. "What's on your mind?"

She looked at him pityingly and regretfully. Something had been weighing heavily on her mind, that was clear. Her black eyes held his seafoam gaze, and she licked her lips nervously. "Gaara, we need to break up."

He froze, only able to blink at her for a minute. He wasn't sure if he heard her right for a second, but her face holding that pitying glimmer told him he heard correctly. "Oh," he breathed, almost blankly. He wasn't hurt by this. In fact, he guessed they would be breaking up at some point. He knew he wasn't a good boyfriend, but he knew he had learned a lot from his experience with Matsuri. This would just be another learning experience. He could actually ask for a critique now on his overall performance. "May I ask what exactly I did wrong between us?"

She let out an uncomfortable grumble, "It's not like that. We both didn't handle the relationship correctly."

He tilted his head a little at that answer. That didn't seem right. Minus the times she threw herself at him, or tried to grope him, and demanded he grope her, she was the model girlfriend for him. "I'm not sure I understand."

Matsuri pinched the bridge of her nose. "When I agreed to be your girlfriend," she confessed, "I didn't know how important intimacy and affection were. It wasn't until a couple dates in that I realized it was the only dividing line between Matsuri, your girlfriend, and Matsuri, your friend slash student."

He blinked at her. That was the line between that type of love? That was the difference he was searching for? Intimacy? Affection? He looked down, embarrassed he felt the need to ask, "By that you mean …?"

"Kissing, for one," Matsuri answered, her expression rather annoyed, "properly, too. You know, with tongue." He blushed as he realized that was his big mistake. Not knowing how to kiss. "And you know, hand holding, hugging, snuggling, … having sex." He pursed his lips as he realized she had tried to get him to do these things, and he'd turned her away every time. Except holding hands. That one was easy. She rubbed her brow as she finished, "I didn't realize how difficult it would be for you to be intimate with me, and I thought it wouldn't matter, but it does."

Gaara gave a small nod, considering what she was saying. Being in this type of relationship meant doing those things. Clearly, kissing with tongue was the first step he'd have to overcome. He realized if he actually used his tongue, unlike when he thought she was attacking him, he might have actually enjoyed it. He just didn't know that was what he was supposed to do. And he could learn to do it. It wasn't some vague concept or mystery anymore. There was a word for what he was looking for. "If intimacy was the problem, I can learn to be better at it."

"Gaara," Matsuri sighed bittersweetly. "It's too late."

Gaara frowned, standing up. "It's only lunch time. I can learn to kiss you properly -"

Matsuri cut him off, "I'm pregnant, Gaara." Gaara froze. Now he was certain he hadn't heard her correctly. She put a gentle hand over her lower abdomen as she gave a pained laugh, "Hence, the dizzy spells. I fainted on the way back from the Cloud. That's how I found out."

Gaara may be romantically impaired, but stupid he was not. He straightened himself as he looked at her, caressing her womb like many of the soon to be mothers around Suna whenever they came to his office for their maternity leave paperwork. Their bellies usually much more swollen than this, but that was likely a later stage. His mind ran a mile a minute, but his cyan gaze stayed transfixed to the hand over her belly. It was proof to him that he was so inept in intimacy, she found another man's intimacy to substitute his own short-comings. Another man had been able to provide her with something Gaara had promised, but did not give. To do the things the Council, no, the Sand expected of him, but he couldn't do. And that was it, right? That's what his nightmares had been telling him. He wasn't meeting his status's expectations. That knowledge actually did hurt. More than her announcement that they were breaking up.

"Oh, Gaara. I'm so sorry," she whispered, reaching for his hand, but he pulled it away. He wasn't her boyfriend, which meant he was under no obligation to hold her hand. Her lips trembled as she pulled her hand back, fiddling with the hem of her dress. "I thought I was being careful," Matsuri added with a bittersweet laugh and then sniffle, and Gaara realized she was crying. He wasn't sure why. "I thought," she gasped around sobs, "I thought that I could just experience what kissing and sex were supposed to feel like, and then I could look forward to when you would be ready. But I started to grow impatient, and I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me." She coughed out a sob as she continued, "Every time you turned me down, I felt like I was repulsive or something. I turned to him, and told him what you did, what you said. And he made me feel nice, attractive, and desirable. And while I enjoyed it in the moment, after every time I realized that what I really wanted was for you to want me like that."

Gaara felt a lump in his throat. "You told him about me?" About his shortcomings when it came to women? About his romantic ineptitudes? Something that if gotten out would be another tally against him to the Council? She betrayed him like that?

"He didn't know it was you," she added quickly. "He wouldn't have dared if he knew it was you."

Gaara's shoulders dropped. Well that was a relief. A small one, given the circumstances. But still.

She broke down in sobs again, rubbing at her eyes. Gaara watched her a little lost. He, like most men he knew, was at a complete loss when women began to cry. She tried to control her breathing, mumbling something along the lines, "It's just so embarrassing. Because now I'm just some unmarried, eighteen-year-old, knocked-up kunoichi, who will be on unpaid maternity leave for a year, since I can't go on missions pregnant." Gaara nodded, knowing that. He had to fill out paperwork every time a kunoichi announced she was expecting. Then follow-up paperwork a year later to see if they were ready to return to active duty. Her tears began to well again, and her voice tinny as she continued, "And that means by the time the baby comes, I'm not going to be able to afford anything, much less stuff it needs. And I know I don't deserve it, and you probably hate me right now, because I cheated on you, and that's what caused this whole mess, but I could really use some advice from my sensei right now."

Gaara looked at her closely, clenching her fists on her knees as she sobbed in front of him, begging for some advice. She was right. If their relationship was only their time spent as significant others, he should be pissed at her for cheating and getting pregnant by another man. But they were friends first, and he was her sensei. And those titles were way more important to him. He let out a small sigh and sat down next to her. Tears still streamed down her face as she watched him sit down in wonder. He gave her a pitying smile, and she wailed again, this time grabbing onto him, and holding him in a tight hug that he was rather uncomfortable with. She was getting tears all over his robes.

"I'm so sorry, Gaara. You're so nice, and I'm just a horrible friend. Can you forgive me?" she asked through sobs.

"For staining my robes?" Gaara joked blithely.

She pulled away, rubbing her eyes as she laughed through tears, "Did you just make a joke?"

He frowned with a weird smile, "I think I did." Cordi must be rubbing off on me a little. She laughed again. Well, this was a good start. He let out a small sigh, then said, "As for the other thing, I think I need time to think on it first." She nodded, tearing up again. Now Gaara felt alarmed, and he held up a hand, "It wasn't a no. Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry," Matsuri sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "It's the pregnancy hormones. I'm crying all the time now. It sucks."

"Oh," he breathed, still not sure if that made things better. Pregnant ladies cried all the time? He could hardly imagine Temari being like this. When she got upset, she just glared and drank wine. But if she got married, and became pregnant, would she cry as much as Matsuri was? He shook his head from his reverie. "Well, you asked my advice. And I must say I have very little, given the circumstances." Matsuri laughed again. "But, the first thing I would suggest is to be right with the law on this, and inform the Kazekage or team leader of your condition, so as to start your maternity leave." He cleared his throat, and joked, "Lucky for you, you had to tell the Kazekage to break up with him," he gestured to himself. Matsuri laughed again. "So, to get the paperwork started, I need to know the doctor or midwife handling your care during the pregnancy, and when your due date is." He wasn't sure how that was calculated, just that that was when the baby would be due.

"April 8th," she sniffled, rubbing her now red and puffy nose. "And Jari is handling my care. He studied under Lady Sakura for a year." She added the last part quickly, as if to assure him the doctor was a good one. He knew that as well. He had to sign off on Jari studying medicine in Konoha for a year, as well as three other ninjas, who had all become prominent doctors in the Suna hospital. Jari was a good medic ninja. He'd take care of her.

"April 8th," he repeated, committing it to memory. "Jari." He'd go up in a couple minutes to get the paperwork started. He let that sink in before taking a small, focusing breath through his nose and continuing, "As for the supplemental income, since you will definitely need some to prepare and take care of the baby, you have two options. It might work best to do both together." She frowned, but her silence urged him to continue. "The first is to find a civilian job in Suna for the time. The second is to settle in with the father, if he's willing." Gaara looked at her carefully, and he could tell the second suggestion was difficult for her to consider, although he didn't know why. If intimacy was the lacking ingredient between friends and lovers, then clearly they had it. He decided to ask one of the difficult questions weighing on him. "You have told the father, right?"

She closed her eyes in a pained wince. "Not yet. I was planning to after I talked with you. He's …" she trailed off, screwing up her face as if trying to find the word to describe him. "He's not the settling down type. He's sure to have a panic attack as soon as I tell him he's going to be a father," she joked. "He's terrified of commitment."

That seemed odd to Gaara. That's where relationships didn't make sense to him, he guessed. Settling down required intimacy, but intimacy did not require it back, even though the consequences of some intimate acts, like sex, were permanent. So, why even dally in that risk? "That I can't help you with," Gaara muttered, "Although, being your sensei and the Kazekage, I can threaten him to comply."

"Oh, that's not necessary," Matsuri mumbled nervously.

"Nonsense. He impregnated my student," Gaara argued blandly. "Any student of mine gets respect. So, what's his name?"

Matsuri pursed her lips. "You aren't going to like that answer."

Gaara narrowed his gaze. The way she said it, it was someone he knew. Someone close. His brow furrowed now. She'd gone behind his back to one of his friends. "All the same, I'd like to know."

She winced. "Kankuro." She opened one eye to peek at him, and saw his dark expression focused on the wall behind her. "I'm so sorry." But he was already standing, and walking out the door.

His brother. His brother. The one the traitorous members of Council constantly pushed to be in charge. The one they argued was more stable. The one they believed more likely to provide a reliable future for Suna and the Land of Wind, and thus wanted him in charge rather than Gaara. The one who was now producing an heir and salvation for the Kazekage line and securing a future for Suna. His brother. She was right. He didn't like that answer. Not one bit.

AN: Yeah. Double cliffhanger. Sorry, not sorry.

Although, I am sorry this has taken so long to get out. A lot happens in this chapter, and as I was researching Asthma attacks, some of my plotting was wrong time-wise, so while I was working on this chapter, I was fixing the next 4 chapters. On top of that, we finished moving, but we're not entirely done unboxing everything. Also I severely injured my right wrist, which has slowed my typing, and after the first round of treatments, it doesn't quite feel fully healed, which is what the doctor had been hoping for. Hopefully I only need another round and not surgery, but I have a follow up with the specialist, so it's not off the table.

I'm hoping that after the follow up, I'll be done, and be back at my usual speed. Most of the next 4 chapters are partially written, so hopefully they won't take too long. Just be patient with me.