AN: This is the full chapter.
Thank you for your patience. I hope you all had a happy holidays. I meant to get this to you all earlier, but I did end up having to split the chapter in half. The final word count for the chapter (not split up) ended up being 47,960 words. So I really hope you all appreciate this. My surgery went well, but I am still healing, so give me some time before I post chapter 19. Please keep sending your positive thoughts, and especially your reviews. They help me work through the pain some times and get back into the swing of writing.
Chapter Seventeen: While You Were Sleeping Part II
August 8th, 2009
When Ronnie woke the next morning, she'd fallen asleep on Kiba's bare chest, who rested upright against her headboard and wall. She felt his muscled arms wrapped around her waist and shoulders. She could feel they were both naked as his morning wood prodded at her side. Their actions last night came to her in a rush of memories as she felt the soreness between her legs from being ridden so hard. She recalled the bruising touches and bites, and knew she'd have to assess herself in a mirror before stepping out in public.
But that wasn't what had bothered her when she woke. It was the guilt gnawing at her for pushing Kiba to fuck her over and over again when he'd come to reconcile. And she didn't want to reconcile.
She felt Kiba tilt his head to look at her, and knew he'd been awake for a while, likely staring out the window at the dancing leaves of the tree outside. "Good morning, Love," he murmured, kissing her head. As his lips lingered where her hair met her forehead, she stewed in her own guilt and self-loathing. You're a real piece of work, Veronica Buchanan. That's what her mother had said when she'd found out Ronnie had been screwing her almost graduated senior boyfriend towards the end of her freshman year. And it was mornings like this that she had to agree.
She felt his finger under her chin, turning her towards him so he could lavish her lips with kisses, and she pushed herself away. The pucker on Kiba's lips lingered for a second only to be replaced with confusion as she threw herself off the bed and walked over to her dresser, grabbing a clean pair of underwear. "Ronnie?"
"You should go," she said unfeelingly, sliding her underwear on, not even deigning to look at him.
"What?" he scoffed in disbelief. As she threw on a bra, making sure her breasts were laying correctly in the cups. "I – I thought … aren't we good?"
She licked her lips before sneering at him. "No, you and I are not good." She shook her head as she shook out a pair of jeans to straighten out any wrinkles before ramming her leg in. "You and I are anything but good."
He was sitting up, still only barely covering his junk with her blankets as he looked around the room, his confusion evident. "Wh-what about last night?"
"What about last night?" she challenged, buttoning her pants
He blinked at her. "Do you not remember? We … had sex. A lot of sex."
She crossed her arms, looking at him darkly, stating, "No, we fucked last night. I asked you to fuck me, and you did. And now we're done."
The shock in his expression was evident, and in his silence, Ronnie decided to check herself in the mirror, striding into the bathroom to assess his bruising damage. "Wait, what?" he barked, jumping out of the bed. Akamaru grumbled at their noise, getting up and walking toward the dorm door.
She checked out the bite mark he'd left on her shoulder which was turning purple around the two puncture marks from his sharper than average canines. "It's not difficult to understand. I needed a distraction, so I asked you to put your dick in me." She could feel him staring at her from the bathroom door, his mouth hanging open in slight horror.
"Distraction?" he coughed. "Is that all you think I am?"
"You were a good one, but now I need to return to the real world," she stated, finishing assessing herself in the mirror, deciding to wear her turtleneck crop top, and a sweater to cover the bruises on her arms.
"Real world," Kiba scoffed. She moved to walk out of the bathroom, but Kiba blocked her in.
"Move," she demanded.
"No, I want to talk!" Kiba snapped.
Ronnie frowned. "I don't want to talk."
"Too bad!" Kiba huffed. "You said you didn't want to talk last night. You asked me to fuck you instead, and I did. But now I get to talk."
She glared at him. "Fine. Talk."
Akamaru barked, and Kiba threw up a silencing hand not even looking at his dog. Akamaru grumbled, sliding back down to the floor. "Last night, I came here to say that whatever I did to make you upset, I'm sorry. I love you, and I don't want us to fight."
She nodded, then asked, "You done?"
He balked at her tone, and as she shouldered past him. "Didn't you hear me? I said that I love you. That I'm in love with you!" She kept getting dressed, without acknowledging he'd said something more important than the weather forecast. He blinked his disbelief as he rasped, "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"Does it mean something to you?" she rounded on him. "Because I've heard you say that to any woman you've fucked within the last two months."
His bravado fell. She could see in his eyes a flicker of fear and realization. "What're you –?"
"Tamaki," Ronnie stated. He was quiet for a while. She scoffed, grabbing her sweater, grumbling as she swung it around to slip her arms in the sleeves, "I guess that's the difference between you and I. I'm careful when I drop the L-word. When I say it, I mean it."
"You don't know…" Kiba started, trailing off.
"What?" she demanded. "'I don't know' what? That you fucked her the night before the festival. Three times, matter of fact. The same day you kissed me, and I was fired? And then you avoided me for a few days, acting like I did something wrong."
"It's over with her," Kiba tried.
"Is it?" Ronnie hissed. "Because when Lynne downloaded her memories, she found that you never actually broke up with her!"
"Downloaded her memories?" he repeated, sounding horrified.
"One of Lynne's handy tricks," Ronnie clarified. "You aren't the first guy to think he can pull a fast one on Veronica Buchanan. You're just the only one I mistakenly thought would be loyal." She walked over to her dorm door, unlocking it swiftly and opening it wide. "And like all the others, you can grab your shit and see yourself out."
His eyes wavered a second, unsure of how to rectify the situation between them. Then he finally said, "I don't want leave you."
She closed her eyes, tilting her head upward.
He stepped forward, trying to grab her hand as he said, "Look, we can get through this." But as soon as he said it, he heard the groaning of the pipes, then they burst to life, flooding the dorm room in seconds. His eyes went wide as she gather him and his clothes in a torrential whirlpool, which then carried him outside in an aerial river, depositing him on the cobblestone road of Konoha. She allowed Akamaru the dignity of running out on his own after his master, only after nudging her hand for a pat, which she gave. "Teach him to make better choices, Akamaru," she instructed, before turning the water off and shutting the door.
"Dammit, Ronnie! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO!?" he howled up to her closed door as Akamaru made his way down the stairs. "I'm not leaving!"
"MY WORD!" an older woman shrieked from the street. He looked over, seeing an elderly lady pointing at him, shrieking, "PERVERT! PERVERT!" He looked down, realizing she'd literally thrown him out naked. As the woman shrieked, garnering more attention, he tried to cover up quick, diving to grab his now drenched clothes off the pavement.
A few muscular guys came striding towards him, growling, "Hey, Perv! You like to flash old ladies?"
Kiba threw up his hands, holding his clothes, barely getting out, "It's just a misundersta-" before getting a punch directly to the nose again, rebreaking it and knocking him out. By the time he came to, he was in a jail-cell for public indecency.
Gaara woke first the next morning, holding Cordi tightly to him, skin against skin. He couldn't see passed their shoulders due to the sheets, but he could feel her all the way down. Her curves comfortably fitting against his body. His hips against her bare ass with his member against her cheeks. Her warm back pressed against his chest and abdomen as their legs rested in a comfortable tangle. His nose was nestled in her hair, the smell of her mint shampoo from last night's shower before her nightmare permeated his senses. The fingers of his right hand rested comfortably on her chest, his wrist between her breasts as his hand caressed her left breast. His left arm stretched out under the pillow under her head. He lifted his head to look at her, snoozing so easily in his embrace, and the memories of last night rushed back to him.
He'd lost his virginity to her last night. He had difficulty believing it, since he felt no different than before. He knew a lot of people viewed such an action as the last step into manhood, but he felt just as he did yesterday morning, although a bit more rested. He looked at the clock, and saw it read nine thirty-two. He sat up quickly, realizing he was late for work, only to stop when he saw the rectangular windows popular in Konoha, and remembered where he was.
Cordi grumbled at his sudden absence, rolling to face him, snuggling back into her pillow as she curled up into a ball next to his thigh. He felt a smile pull on his lips as he heard her snoring lightly against him, more deep breathy sighs than the standard loud snores he knew she was capable of. He was thankful he'd been able to chase away the nightmare she'd been complaining about when she came into his bed.
As he looked around the room, taking in the mess they made of clothes littering the floor as they'd slept unabashedly naked in the warm morning sunlight, he sighed as he realized he was awake now, so he might as well get ready for the day. He pulled himself out of bed, padding naked into the ensuite bathroom as he ruffled his hair until it was comfortable, shutting the door behind him before relieving and cleaning himself, then washing his hands and brushing his teeth. Looking at himself in the mirror, he noted he didn't even look different, except for an odd bruising at the base of his neck, not far from a red finger of his Chidori scar. He remembered her kissing and biting him as they'd gotten each other undressed. He fingered the bruise, noting it didn't really hurt, it was just bright red. He mused she probably had a similar one by her left jugular, where he'd bitten and kissed her similarly. It would heal in a day or two. It was odd to think such a big moment in someone's life like losing one's virginity didn't leave a lasting mark. Not on men, at least, a thought sounded in the back of his mind. Women on the other hand …
His hand froze mid-brush on his lower right molars as he remembered exactly how the act went down. Releasing his seed in her after a pathetically short minute or so of pounding into her. The sound of their skin slapping together mixed with her moans and pleading for him to keep going even though he was spent echoing in his head. He'd told her he hadn't blown his load to save face, but lying to her wouldn't stop his sperm from combining with her egg. It had been hours since he'd gone in her. Was that enough time for them to do their job? He knew people made silphium tea as emergency prevention, but he had to imagine it was immediately after, not hours after the fact, right?
Or was it better late than never? Surely there was a window of effectiveness.
He'd promised to get her the tea if he messed up, and he had. He brushed his left molars quickly, and with enough fervor to make his gums bleed before he spat out his toothpaste, washing it down with the water as he rinsed his brush. He rinsed his mouth quickly, then stepped out of the bathroom, immediately running to his bag, grabbing his underwear and clothes, pulling them on faster than he'd ever done before. Including when he had to get ready for battle. He didn't pay attention to how loud he was, especially when he was grumbling at his buttons for not fastening under his shaking fingers. He was thankful the high collar of his shirt easily hid the bite mark.
"Gaara?" Cordi rasped tiredly. He turned to see her wincing awake, rubbing one of her eyes as she sat up, the sheets falling from her breasts as she sat up. He hadn't seen them that well last night, due to the dim lighting, but seeing her plump breasts in the morning sun, her pink nipples stiffening from the cold air. The vision gave him pause as he stared at just how wonderful they were. They heaved as she arched her back, stretching as she kept rubbing her eyes, and he felt his breath leave him. As the oxygen finally reached her brain, she relaxed, only to look down, blush and gasp "Ohmygod," then snatch up the sheet to cover herself.
He blushed as well from residual embarrassment, going back to buttoning up his last few buttons as he heard her knees rise as a secondary cover under the bedding.
Trying to blow over her exposure, she winced and asked, "Uhm, wha-what are you doing?" scratching the back of her head with her free hand.
He took a deep breath, trying to formulate his answer. "Uhm, I uh… I have to … grab something," he stumbled out, fixing his shoes awkwardly. He scratched his lip adding, "I'll be right back."
She looked at him with an innocently blank look as she said, "O-ok."
He nodded emptily, turning to leave, only to pause at the door. Matsuri had always expected goodbye kisses as his girlfriend, even if they were only parting for a few minutes. They only times they didn't was when they had a disagreement. He didn't want Cordi to think she'd done something wrong or that he wanted to fight. So he spun on his heel, his lips pursed as he marched back to the bed, grabbing her head and pulling her into a quick kiss, remembering with tongue as he licked at her lips.
Cordi squeaked her surprise as she opened mouth, letting him invade her for a second as he licked at her. He was surprised he didn't hate the taste of her morning mouth. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. Maybe the stark mint of his toothpaste fought it back enough. He pulled away with a pursed smile, then left.
He took the elevator to the lobby, quickly walking out, ignoring the hostess at the front desk greeting him. His gaze was set across the street, where a general store sat. They got most of their business from the hotel guests and ninjas coming from the Hokage building. It was primely located, so he prayed that meant they were well stocked, especially with foreign favorites. Again, Silphium was popular in the Land of Wind, but a lot of other countries didn't entirely believe the herbs effects. He walked down the aisles of the store, not entirely sure if it would be in tea or family planning. He figured it was likely in tea if it was here, and tried there first. He sighed with relief when he saw the white cardboard box labeled "Pineapple-Silphium Tea" next to the yellow box of lemon-ginger tea, both advertising organic methods of promoting healthy digestion. He checked the fine print to make sure it was the real herb and not a stand in, and saw in the small print on the back that said, "Warning: Product contains the abortifacient Silphium. Not recommended for women who are nursing, pregnant, or could become pregnant. If ingested and at risk, contact your medical provider immediately."
The warning eased his anxiety, and he walked to the front with the box.
The woman at the register took it, looked at the box, then at Gaara, then back at the box. Gaara pressed his lips into a thin line, watching her punch the numbers into the register. "A lot of Wind people like this product," she commented emptily.
Gaara hated small talk, but he found himself commenting, "It's the best thing for stomach aches."
"We prefer ginger here. Less of a soapy taste," she stated, handing the box back to him. He didn't comment, knowing that was usually a genetic issue. Most people didn't taste soap when they ate the leaves of the plant, but a strange peppery zing. "Maybe try it next time. It's five dollars."
He pulled out the cash necessary and handed it to her before grabbing the box. As he walked out, he heard the woman call after him, "Feel better."
He nodded, muttering a small, "Thank you," as he stepped outside.
As he got back to the suite, he heard Cordi in the shower attached to her bedroom, singing another one of her songs, and he got to work on brewing the tea. He heard her shower shut off as she still sang her song, "I should have walked away. I should've walked away-ay," as he grabbed the mugs offered in the cabinets as the water boiled. He opened the silphium tea bags, almost getting knocked back by the floral scent, and set them into the mugs, then poured the water over the bags. "It was a long hot night. She made it easy. She made it feel right. But now it's over. The moment is gone. I followed my hands, not my head. I know I was wrong." Then a guitar solo as he finished setting up their teas. He dunked the tea bag a few times to quicken the steeping.
He grabbed a few sugar packets. If she hadn't grown up with silphium in her soup or tea when she was sick, it was definitely an acquired taste. Usually, it was paired with mango or pineapple in teas, since the fruits' sweetness took away some of the peppery bite of the dried leaves. But in soups, its root, laserwort, was mostly used to enhance savory flavors, pairing well with onion and tomato-based soups. He also didn't know if she was genetically predisposed to taste soap rather than spice from the leaf's oil.
He heard her padding out of the bathroom as she kept singing, "Oh! I just died in your arms tonight! It musta' been something you said." He imagined her dancing as she dressed behind her closed bedroom door, hearing her muffled behind a shirt for a minute. "Oh! I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been some kind of kiss. I should've walked away. I shoulda' walked away." She came out of the room finally, still singing, "Bah-bah-bahdah" along with the guitar as it she turned off her musical device and putting it in her pocket. She was wearing a basic t-shirt and jeans outfit with what she called tennis shoes. Her hair was still wet, barely towel dried, but combed.
She strode across the room, not even looking at Gaara as she grabbed her purse, which she'd left hanging on the bar stool last night, stating, "Alright. I'm going to head on to the hospital. Sakura said Ino was running a brain scan on her today, so."
Gaara blinked at her as she gave him a nod as if to say, Now you're informed. Goodbye. "Uh .. Tea?" he blurted as she adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder.
She frowned at him. "Huh?"
"I-I made tea," Gaara fumbled out, gesturing to the mugs.
"Oh," she breathed, looking at the mugs. "Well, I was planning on skipping breakfast since it's already after ten, and I'm kinda' late on the whole brain scan thing. So, you can just have mine."
His eyes widened at her, unable to understand why she just didn't take the tea and thank him for his troubles. He saw her walk to the suite door, and he realized he'd likely have to confess last night's error. He felt the blood drain from his face as he blurted, "Cordelia, I must insist you drink the tea."
She paused, then turned. "What?"
"You need to drink the tea," he reiterated.
Her gaze narrowed on him, looking at him as if he'd spoken a new language. "You're being weird," she stated. Then she scrunched her nose, and asked, "Is this about last night?"
He closed his eyes regretfully. "Yes," he answered.
When he opened his eyes to look at her, she was looking back at him with thankful adoration. "That is … so sweet of you. Really gentlemanly. Preparing a little something for the morning after." He blinked his relief and surprise. She was endeared, not angry at his slip up. She pursed her lips, then said, "But I don't really have time, 'cause I really need to go." She held up a hand as if accepting a gift as she said, "Thank you, though."
He looked at her wide-eyed. "I don't think risking pregnancy is wise at the moment," he blurted.
Now she looked confused. "I'm sorry? What does … wh-what? What are you talking about?" she sputtered out, blinking at him, looking more and more confounded as the words tumbled from her mouth.
"The tea prevents pregnancy," he stated clearly, so she knew he wasn't going out of his way doing this. It wasn't kindness. He was being responsible.
She only looked at him befuddled by the statement, then she laughed as if he'd made a joke. "Yeah. Ok." She wiped a tear from her eye, muttering, "What are you smoking?"
Gaara frowned, not appreciating her tone. "I'm being entirely serious. I told you I'd get this last night."
"Tea doesn't prevent pregnancy, Gaara," she argued as if the idea was laughable. She made an odd face as she added, "Plus, we'd only be worried about that if you went in me, which you didn't, so…" She trailed off as if it were inconsequential.
"This tea prevents pregnancy," Gaara stated, pushing it across the counter towards her.
She looked at him oddly, arguing, "You said last night you didn't go. So why are you worried about it?" Then her gaze narrowed on him as she said, "Unless …" She chewed on her lower lip, her dark eyes penetrating his normally impassable gaze, causing him to look away as she asked darkly, "Did you go?"
He crossed his arms. "Please drink the tea," he said.
She blinked, her jaw set as she scoffed, "You did, didn't you?" Her expression looked a bit betrayed as she added, "And you just lied to me about it?"
He licked his lips and looked away, feeling his shame pitting in his stomach. He didn't like his weaknesses or shortcomings waved in his face and pointed at. Why did he have to be attracted to a woman who was so confrontational?
"What the Hell, Gaara!?" she half-scoffed, half-howled. "Why on God's green Earth would you lie about that!?"
"Because it was embarrassingly early!" he snapped back, blushing from both embarrassment and anger. Why did she always have to poke? He tried not to look at her, but he saw her pitying expression for exposing his wounded pride, which was only half on display because what made it worse for him was that he hadn't been able to make it enjoyable for her. He felt a little like he'd taken advantage of her body, without giving her her due. Through the act, he'd proven to himself he could do it, at least with her, but he was abysmal at it. "Please just drink the tea."
She scoffed, shaking her head. "Early or not, you should have told me," she said, before grabbing the proffered mug. She looked at the brown liquid, and said, "So, what? You roofied this with Plan B?"
He frowned at her, then pushed the tea box across the counter to her, stating, "It's just an herbal tea, using the natural abortifacient, silphium."
She made an odd face, picking up the box and reading the fine print warning aloud. "Warning: Product contains the abortifacient Silphium. Not recommended for women who are nursing, pregnant, or could become pregnant. If ingested and at risk, contact your medical provider immediately." She chewed her lip, putting the box down. "Weird, I don't think I've heard of it."
He pursed his lips, then suggested, "Then you might want a bit of sugar. It can have a kick."
She sighed, putting a few spoonfuls of sugar into her tea, and stirred it in. She saw him sip his as she blew the steam rising off hers before taking a sip. She winced at the taste, reminding her a bit of the Mexican candy Travis brought back from his base training in Texas last year. PikaPina was the name of the gummies. She wasn't a huge fan of it then. She was even less of a fan of it in herbal tea form. But she forced it down with a swallow. She made a face as she gagged like a child eating brussels sprouts for the first time.
"Did it taste like soap?" he asked, putting his mug down.
She shook her head, gagging again. "No. Pineapple and chili. Which do not mix in my country." She suppressed another gag with the shake of her head as she added, "Our southern neighbors like it, though, which I guess makes sense, given Suna is Latin America meets Japan."
"You need to drink all of it," he stated, taking another sip.
She grimaced at the mug, which had barely lowered its volume from her first sip. She put two more sugar packets in, hoping the sweetness would overpower the tea's flavors, then stirred it vigorously. She then took a bracing breath before taking a larger sip. It was still too hot to outright guzzle it down without burning her mouth. She swallowed it quickly, without tasting it, and dropping the mug back on the counter, breathing out like she'd just taken a shot of whiskey.
"So, you said a soap taste? Is it like cilantro?" she asked, trying to distract herself from the lingering spice.
He nodded. "They're in the same family, plant-wise. However, the oil on silphium's leaves and stalk has medicinal properties, like settling stomach aches, cold symptoms and preventing pregnancy. The root, laserwort, mostly helps with digestion and metabolism."
"Laserwort?"
His eyebrows rose. "You've heard of it?"
She nodded. "It's extinct in my world." He tilted his head, surprised by her comment. "Back home, I have a book on fun facts of the Roman Empire I got for a history report. Apparently, they ate it into extinction two-thousand years ago. It was so popular because it was rumored to be so effective, just drinking its juice once a month prevented pregnancy. Because it was so popular, it's seed was on the currency of the region it grew in, which is how we know about it." She frowned at the tea, mumbling, "Huh," before taking another sip. This time, she didn't wince at the taste. But she did say, "I'm going to need some water to chase this down."
He nodded and gave her a glass filled from the kitchenette sink. Once she finished the mug, she guzzled down the water, the gesture for the door, as if to say she was leaving. "I'll go with you," he said quickly, unsure what exactly came over him to make such an offer. He was essentially on vacation, and spending it in the hospital was hardly what he'd call relaxing. But a part of him didn't want to leave Cordi's side through this. And she didn't stop him, instead gesturing for him to follow after her.
As they walked down the street silently, finally she remarked, "It's curious."
"What?" he breathed.
She shrugged. "How long have you known about silphium?"
He blushed, commenting, "I've always known about it. Yashamaru used to make me soup with laserwort when I was sick as a kid."
She frowned, "So, you've always known silphium was an abortifacient?"
He pursed his lips. "Actually, I learned that when I read the reproduction book Kankuro gave me when I was thirteen."
She gave a pursed nod, and then after a pregnant pause asked, "And how long after that did you realize Yashamaru lied, and that your mother loved you?" He frowned at her, not understanding the connection, and she added, "Because she could have taken it at any time during her pregnancy with you if she didn't … love you, that is. If she'd been averse to the risks, like Yashamaru said. She could have ended things at any time. But she didn't."
He looked to the sky, realizing the logic of the statement, wondering how he hadn't seen it before. Hadn't even thought to question it. For the majority of his life, he believed whole-heartedly his mother had hated him. That was until his father said otherwise during the Eido-Tensei in the war. But the answer had been sitting in front of him for seven years.
Cordi shrugged, stating, "That's actually why what Yashamaru said to you has been hotly debated in my world, ever since you told Naruto your story. If you think about it after understanding how reproduction works, it only left three options to explain that decision, and two of them are ludicrous."
He closed his eyes, with an ironic scoff. "Ludicrous, huh?" The belief he'd held onto for most of his life was ludicrous, according to Cordi.
"Yeah. I mean it was either your mom was uncontrollably thirsty for your dad, completely without regards to her own safety, which is the most ludicrous. No one's that thirsty," she chuckled. He didn't exactly understand her jargon, but he assumed she was insinuating the first option was his mother was a whore, which caused him to scowl in distaste. She continued, "Or your dad raped your mom, forced her to carry you to term, knowing she would die, which is more monstrous than anything Orochimaru did, and there would have been riots in the streets. Also both options at the very least lead to Yashamaru blaming and trying to kill your dad, and not you, because a baby has no control in either situation, but your father did," she explained.
Gaara grimaced thinking about it. He never liked thinking of his parents in that way, but knew it was a fact of life. But when laid out like she'd explained, she was right. The motivations Yashamaru had cited were ludicrous when taking the reproduction process into account.
She shrugged as she added, "Which made everyone realize the exact opposite of what he'd said had to be true. You were wanted and loved. Neither of your parents thought she was going to die during childbirth, and planned to raise you themselves with your siblings in a loving household."
Silence lingered between them as he thought about it. He should have put it together before then. It would have saved him a lot of pain. Then he quietly said, "I've known for two years that she loved me. My father told me in the Fourth Ninja War."
Cordi sighed, chewing her lip. "You were probably too close to the situation to look at it objectively."
He was quiet for a moment, then said, "Probably." At least now he understood that his father hadn't lied to him in the war, completely. A part of him always thought maybe he had, but he could never understand why beyond it being a failing tactic. But with Cordi's analysis, it settled that his father had been sincere in the war.
Pain. That was all Kankuro knew as he woke up the next morning. Pain radiating from his head through his body, and settling in his stomach, churning its acid unsettlingly. Barely managing in, Kankuro shot up, and ran to the toilet and wretched. Not much came up except what tasted like whiskey and stomach acid laced jager and ale. He wretched again as his world felt liquified and swerving. "God please," he wept, feeling the sensation of not being tethered to the world continue as he held onto the toilet. "I'll never drink like this again. Pleeeease." He wretched again, and suddenly felt relief against the cold porcelain, falling momentarily unconscious again.
He wasn't sure how long he was asleep against the toilet before he was woken up by the gruff voice of his teacher saying, "So, clearly you woke up at some point."
"Nooooooo," Kankuro groaned. Partly because of the headache, but mostly because if his teacher was here, that meant last night happened. And if last night happened, that meant yesterday happened, which was supremely bad in Kankuro's opinion.
Baki made a noise that sounded as if it smelled bad in the bathroom. It probably did. Kankuro couldn't notice it anymore, although he did distinctly remember it smelling bad when he passed out the second time. He heard the whirring of the water in the toilet as Baki's shadow drifted over him, clearly flushing away Kankuro's old vomit. "I'll get you some water and aspirin," Baki grumbled, stepping out of the bathroom.
Kankuro's only response was a groan as his teacher stepped out for a moment, then returned a moment later. Kankuro pushed himself up as Baki offered the glass of water, which Kankuro sipped from, and then Baki handed him two aspirin, which Kankuro also took, chasing the pills with water.
"Feeling better?" Baki asked as Kankuro guzzled the water down.
Kankuro winced. "Would have been better if you'd just asked Cordi to make her hangover cure."
"Cordelia's not here."
"Well, she's probably downstairs," Kankuro grumbled, rubbing his forehead, "Y'know, being Gaara's assistant."
"They both left yesterday for Konoha," Baki stated tiredly, looking at Kankuro like he should have known that.
Kankuro frowned, clearly confused. "What?"
"They flew to Konoha yesterday on her dragon," Baki repeated, sounding a little annoyed. "I told you all of this last night."
"I was black out drunk last night," Kankuro snarked back. "After the fourth round of jager-blossoms last night, I have no idea what happened." He burped, then rolled his eyes as he added, "Although, I do vaguely remember being thrown out of a bar, but then with the festival..."
"It's a miracle you didn't have alcohol poisoning," Baki grumbled, shifting his weight against the bathroom counter.
"No so sure I didn't."
Baki sighed, shaking his head. "Are you well enough to continue this conversation in the living room."
"I might need you to give me thirty minutes," Kankuro answered.
Baki nodded, and said, "I'll be in the living room waiting for you." He then exited the bathroom, closing the door behind him, giving the drunk puppeteer some privacy.
Kankuro turned on the shower and stripped off his basic black shirt and pants. He spent the first twenty minutes of his shower, swaying under the water, letting the water splash his face as the aspirin kicked in. Once he felt his swaying begin to steady, he began to wash his hair, then his body and face. He stepped out, wrapping himself in a towel and making his way back to his bedroom. He grabbed the lacy Saturday underwear, courtesy of Cordelia, and slid them on. He'd never admit it aloud, but the silky thongs she'd gotten him did feel really nice, but the idea of a woman seeing them prevented him from making any moves on any woman the entire week. So today, buying new boxers was definitely on the agenda, since Gaara had finally informed him two days ago that she'd burned all of his old ones. He got dressed in his usual clothes, applied his eyeliner, then stepped out to meet Baki.
"So, what are you doing here, Baki?" Kankuro asked, sitting in the living room in one of the chairs, opposite the sofa where his teacher sat.
"I came here to get some answers, and last night, you only supplied me with more questions," Baki answered plainly.
Kankuro gave him a bored pout, then shrugged surly, "What do you want to know?"
"Well, let's start with the reason I came here yesterday," Baki said, scooting forward. "Gaara and Cordelia flew to Konoha yesterday."
Kankuro nodded, "You mentioned that earlier. Are you planning on sending out ninja to back them up." The head of the Anbu usually stepped in when the Kazekage was out of office. Standard procedure.
"They're already in Konoha," Baki clarified. Kankuro frowned, clearly unsure what he meant. "They arrived last night. They'd made it to the halfway point by the time of the Council meeting."
"That's impossible," Kankuro scoffed. "I talked with both of them at ten thirty in the morning."
"Dragons can make the trip in a couple hours, apparently," Baki stated.
Kankuro looked at him quietly for a moment, then exhaled, "Shit." Clearly, he was impressed. "They must've been going upwards of six hundred kilometers per hour cruising speed." Speeds over a hundred kilometers were known to be unsustainable, unless a ninja wanted to completely deplete his chakra in a matter of minutes. Even with techniques like Gaara's sand platform. Even the trains weren't that fast.
"That's not the part of the story I'm worried about," Baki pointed. Kankuro tilted his head, as if silently urging the teacher to continue. "What exactly is going on between Gaara and Cordelia?"
Kankuro pursed his lips, then answered with an empty shrug, "Nothing. She's his assistant."
"That's what Temari said," Baki stated setting his jaw. Kankuro gestured with his hands as if that were all to say. Baki knew differently. He frowned disappointedly at Kankuro, then cleared his throat and licked his lips irritated. "Let me clarify. Yesterday, Gaara and Cordelia were found in a very compromising position in his office by two Council members shortly before they departed for Konoha."
Kankuro raised his eyebrows interestedly. "Compromising in what way?"
Baki looked at him pointedly, as if Compromising means compromising.
Kankuro shrugged, stating, "I mean, it's possibly innocent if her hair was stuck in a zipper…"
Baki scoffed, cutting him off. "I believe the phrases used were 'tongue down her throat, hand on her exposed breast, and humping each other like rabbits.'"
Kankuro balked at the head of the Anbu, his expression jumping between confused and entertained. "Gaara?" he clarified. Baki nodded. "Like rabbits?" Baki nodded again. Kankuro shook his head hard. "No. Cordelia doesn't look it, but she's a virgin and a bit of a prude. So, she wouldn't just let a man grope her, not even Gaara. Actually, especially not Gaara."
"You think councilmembers are lying?" Baki asked, furrowing his brow.
"That makes the most sense to me."
Baki's gaze narrowed on the middle sibling as he added, "Even though Gaara admitted to it."
Kankuro's eyes flew wide. "He what?" he chirped.
"He admitted to it," Baki stated. "Said they had what some would call chemistry." Kankuro chuckled as Baki pressed, "I'd like to know how far that chemistry goes."
Kankuro shook his head. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you said Cordelia would not let Gaara grope her, yet she did. And last night, you mentioned Gaara had a big crush on her," Baki clarified with a sarcastic shrug.
Kankuro looked heavenward, and cursed.
"Yes, 'In wine, there's truth,'" Baki quoted. "So, tell me, exactly how long has this been going on?"
Kankuro looked at him carefully. "Am I being interrogated?"
Baki sighed tiredly.
"I don't think I should say anything else," Kankuro stated, settling into his chair. "Gaara is his own man. Let him live a little."
"Gaara is a public figure you and I both have sworn to protect," Baki countered. "He's never been the type of man to throw himself at a woman. And this sudden behavior change has me worried."
Kankuro shook his head. "Not even six months ago, you all tried to marry him off."
"The Elder Council tried to marry him off," Baki corrected. While Gaara's chosen elected advisors had a place on the Council, the Elder Council was made up of clan heads among the village, put there by their families. And while their numbers had dwindled over the years due to treachery, they still held the majority of the votes.
"Still," Kankuro huffed. "They keep telling him that he needs produce an heir. So why are we worried about him having a relationship?"
"Because she is an unknown, and the Council does not like her," Baki stated. He shifted in his seat, his back stiffening as he added, "Look, Kankuro, I'm not the bad guy here. But I need to know if there is something I should prepare for."
"Like what?"
"Like if Gaara and Cordi have had a secret relationship going on. If this is more serious than he's letting on. Did he fly off to Konoha with plans of eloping?"
Kankuro frowned further, shaking his head, "Why would he elope?"
Baki shrugged. "You said Matsuri informed him first that you're going to be a father. Given the past coup de 'tats have tried to put you in power, he might see you having an heir as a threat. It's definitely a shot across his bow since the Council has been pressing him on getting married to produce an heir all year."
Kankuro shook his head hard. "I don't want his job."
"Not saying you do," Baki stated, "But he didn't tell the Council about you impregnating Matsuri either." Baki licked his lips nervously, adding, "It's possible he doesn't want to tell them until he's got the possibility of his own heir under his belt. And if so, he's acting to not just protect himself, but you and your unborn child too."
"So you think he's coercing Cordi into marrying him?" Kankuro snipped, disgusted, not just the notion, but that their teacher thought it as a viable explanation of events.
"I don't know what to think," Baki stated. "All I know is I know very little about what's gone on with you three since Cordelia's arrived." He sighed frustratedly. "I understand you're all adults. But when your father assigned me as your jonin leader, he assigned me the duty of being the protector of you three in his place. And I can't do that if I don't know what's going on."
Kankuro exhaled out of his nose, his hands steepled in front of his. "All cards on the table," he offered. "Gaara has had a crush on Cordelia. A big one."
"How long?"
"Since Konoha," Kankuro answered. Baki frowned. "Sorry," Kankuro clarified, "during the Chunin Exams." Baki nodded to signal he was following. "Apparently the crush started after he had a few persistent sexual dreams about her. The crush mostly consisted of lusting urges." Kankuro gave a pursed smile to the ceiling as he added, "Apparently he likes girls who are mean to him. Y'know, might be a bit of a sexual masochist?" Baki blinked at him distastefully, and Kankuro chuckled as he continued, "Anyway, I only know this because he did ask me for some advice a couple weeks ago, because it was starting to affect his work and worse, his relationship."
"With the girlfriend he told the Council about?"
Kankuro nodded.
"The relationship he said yesterday recently ended?" Baki added. Kankuro tilted his head, clearly not knowing about that part, but also not surprised. "Did he break it off to be with Cordelia?"
Kankuro winced. "I don't think so. Plus that makes it sound worse on his part." Kankuro shook his head negatively, deciding that wasn't it. "No. There was an incident he told me about with his girlfriend that kind of sounded like a relationship ender."
Baki looked worried. "What incident?"
Kankuro raised an eyebrow, as if wondering if he should tell him, the smirked as he answered, "A weepy blow job."
Baki looked even more worried now. "I'm sorry?"
Kankuro licked his lips, then answered, "Gaara's girlfriend tried to give him a blow job, but started crying about halfway through for no apparent reason. Gaara, understandably turned off, told her to stop, and she didn't take it well. Which was part of why he asked for my advice." Kankuro gestured with his hand as if to say It is what it is.
Baki looked off, clearly thinking about that piece of information. Since he knew the girlfriend in question was Matsuri, was she crying because of her infidelity? That seemed logical. So, did they break up then or was it when she told him she was expecting his brother's baby? Surprisingly, that account both clarified but also murkied what he understood of the situation. If the break-up was before, it meant Gaara turning to Cordi probably wasn't reactionary, but instead calculated. But if it was after, then this decision could be based on his emotions around being betrayed. Then there was her mental state around Gaara, which he could barely predict.
"What about Cordelia?" Baki asked.
Kankuro shrugged. "What about her?"
"Does she have similar feelings for Gaara?"
"No idea," Kankuro stated. "She's been pranking me all week because I called them lovers one time as a joke." He held up a finger for emphasis. "She juiced a Suna Scorpion Pepper, and put it on my fingers while I slept, so I'd cause my dick to burn after my morning pee." Kankuro shook his head hard, as if to rid himself of a painful memory. "She calls him an asshole or an idiot all the time. She's annoying, loud and overbearing. Curses like a yakuza. You've seen her." Baki nodded, knowing what he was referring to. "Just a generally prickly personality, and it doesn't differentiate from person to person. How she is with the Council is how she is with us."
Baki looked worried, noting, "You make it sound like living with her is Hell."
Kankuro made a face as if that weren't accurate. "I mean she has some redeeming quirks. She's got some interesting, creative curse-words. She's very open about her world, showing us a few films from there. Which apparently uses a lot of robotics and complex machinery. I'd be interested in getting my hands on some of it, because their tech doesn't run on chakra, and could possibly give us quite a bit of breakthroughs." He shook his head, realizing he'd gotten off track. "She also can be rather compassionate and she really appreciates a good joke. But we don't usually associate with people like that. This is the first time we've let someone like that stick around, and it's only because of extenuating circumstances." Kankuro sighed, "She's impossible to read. And I'm usually pretty good at identifying when people like each other."
"Even with yesterday's incident?" Baki offered.
Kankuro still shook his head, as if to say it was impossible to determine. "I can glean nothing from that, because I didn't see it. It's possible she could really like Gaara, and just be better at hiding her crush than him. Or they were just kissing because that was the advice I gave him."
"You told him to kiss her."
"Yeah," Kankuro said stiffly. "He asked what to do about his crush, I told him to kiss her."
Baki sighed. That just meant it could have been nothing except a physical drive rather than feelings. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, then asked, "Do you think Gaara could manipulate her if he wanted to?"
"He wouldn't, though."
"You said he likes Cordelia. If he wanted to convince her to marry him to solve his heir issues with the Council, would he be able to?" Baki clarified.
Kankuro was silent for a while, clearly thinking about it before he shook his head. "No." He pressed his lips together in a fine line, then added, "Cordelia may not look it, but she is a prude. She wouldn't be one to just openly accept a proposal without sound reasoning behind it. And she's a virgin who made a promise to wait for the 'Mr. Right,' whatever that means. It's why she wears that ring. So, knocking her up is unlikely as well."
Baki nodded, finding relief in Kankuro's reasoning. Even if Gaara was feeling pressure from Matsuri's news, Cordi still had a logical head on her shoulders. "Unlike your situation," he joked, looking at Kankuro.
Kankuro blanched, and groaned, "I knew you were going to bring that up."
"You can't just run away from having a child, Kankuro," Baki stated.
"I know."
"So, what do you plan on doing about it?"
Kankuro was silent for a while before he answered, "I don't know." He looked around, as if he just noticed something, or rather noticed something was missing. "Where's Temari?"
"She went over to talk to Matsuri about the pregnancy," Baki stated.
Kankuro rolled his eyes, grumbling, "Oh, dear god. Knowing her, she'll try and get her to move in, and that'll be a disaster."
Baki scoffed, realizing just how much of a disaster it would be. He was certain the siblings didn't even know how supremely bad that would turn out. Surely Matsuri would have the good sense to turn Temari down if she offered. "Do you have another plan?"
"Not at the moment," Kankuro answered bitterly, pinching the tip of his nose. "I know if Gaara were here, he'd be demanding I marry her. Temari probably too." He chewed the inside of his cheek before he added, "It's why I was stalling coming home and drinking like a fish last night. I don't want to get married."
"It's the only way to protect your child," Baki offered. "Give it a name, a family."
"How do you know I'm not protecting my child by not forcing it into this family?" Kankuro countered. "This whole family is a curse. A burden."
Baki raised an eyebrow. "You don't love your siblings?"
"Not what I'm talking about," Kankuro huffed with a frown. Baki looked at him worriedly, and Kankuro clarified, "There's too much pressure for a child to grow up normally in this family." Kankuro pursed his lips, moving them side to side as he thought, then said with finality, "I just need more time to think it through. I know they want me to just go over there and propose, but I can't do that."
Baki nodded. "It is a big deal, and you do need to know your heart and your resolve before you make a choice like that." Baki lifted a hand, as if offering something as he said, "How about a mission?"
Kankuro frowned. "A mission?"
"Temari won't hound you," Baki pointed out. "You can get out of Suna to clear your head and think it over for a few days. You might even miss Gaara's return."
Kankuro scoffed. "How long is he going to be gone?"
"No idea," Baki sighed. He stood as he asked, "What do you say? An easy B or C-rank, outside Suna, to clear your mind and get perspective?"
"Yeah," Kankuro grunted as he stood, following Baki out. They went to the missions hall so Baki could get to work catching up from yesterday, and find Kankuro the perfect mission to get out of town for a few days. The lady processing mission assignments handed over the box of thirty-odd scrolls of mission assignments that had not yet been cleared by the Kazekage office. All C and D rank, as those went through the mission hall, as anything above a B rank was assigned directly by the Kazekage, and Baki did not have clearance to assign unless something tragic happened. Kankuro wasn't originally slated for a mission today, so he wasn't on the list of processed or cleared assignments. They took them back to Baki's office on the same floor as Gaara's, just tucked away down the hallway past the breakroom. As they passed Cordi's desk and Gaara's office, Baki tasked Kankuro with grabbing the higher-level reports that had stacked up yesterday afternoon that he'd have to get through this morning. Baki set the box of scrolls on his desk unceremoniously, then took the reports from Kankuro, and set them on his desk next to it.
He didn't like the fact his weekend was being taken from him by surprise, but he was thankful that Cordi's new system of organizing reports and assignments meant he could pull the time-sensitive ones with ease, and leave the others for his old student and his assistant.
They dug into the box to review the scrolls for Kankuro's mission first. All the scrolls were color-coded, so they ignored the twenty-some blues, which were the D ranks, and pulled out every green, and the few yellows in the mix. If they remained in Suna, it was quickly set aside. After the ninth, Baki smiled. "Ah, this might work. B-rank. Escort and security mission to Ao Nami, working in tandem with a part of the Daimyo Guardian team, as it's the Daimyo's son going to speak for a benefit, which needs more security. Needs to leave by noon."
"Sounds interesting," Kankuro said, although sounding completely bored by the idea.
Baki wrote down the ninjas he was assigning to it, then signed it and rolled the scroll back up, as he said, "Says it was sent by Shijima Hoki, so at least you'll have a friendly face."
"She was more Gaara's friend," Kankuro dismissed.
Baki shot him a pointed glare, not appreciating the middle child's smart attitude, then handed the scroll to him, and added, "I'm sending Naoki and Sakai with you. They're not on any missions right now."
Kankuro recognized the names as two Anbu potentials, both ranked chunin. Naoki was fifteen and considered a bit of a genius, but was delayed promotions due to the war. Sakai was nineteen, had fought in the war, and had earned the nickname the Tsumi Shi Phantom shortly after Gaara became the Kazekage, thanks to an incident in the party town ending in quite a bit of blood shed where he wiped out an entire crime syndicate after his team had been captured and killed by a few yakuza thugs.
Kankuro reached for the proffered scroll, but Baki didn't let go, holding him there momentarily as he added, "Now don't go half-cocked on anything life-threatening. If you die, neither Matsuri nor your child would be entitled to any benefits without your official claim." By marriage, Kankuro filled in. "Something to think about," Baki added, then let the scroll go and Kankuro pulled it to his chest.
Baki got to work on the pressing reports, making notes for Gaara's return, as Kankuro walked out to turn the scroll into the missions hall. He still had to run his errands, but now with less time to spare, since he also had to find Naoki and Sakai to notify them of the mission, and leave at by noon to meet up with Shijima's team. And Kankuro was not about to go on a mission with destroyed makeup and ladies underwear. He cursed, realizing Crow was still malfunctioning, so he resolved to take Sasori and Salamander.
When Cordi arrived at the hospital, Fred, Lynne and Ronnie were already there. Ronnie sat on the bench under the hospital window, Akamaru at her feet, his head in her lap as she rubbed his ears absent-mindedly. Fred had the arm chair in front of the cabinet and Lynne on the doctor's stool. Shikamaru was also there, sitting on the bench between Ronnie and Fred. The girls had been discussing some random topic as Shikamaru only looked at Rox's sleeping form until Cordi walked through the door, tapping on the doorframe as she said, "Knock knock."
Lynne and Fred simultaneously jumped up, and enveloped the fire user in a hug, Fred cheering, "You made it!"
Cordi grunted, before wrapping her arms around her friends. She suppressed her tears, realizing she'd missed her friends greatly. "Nothing could keep me back," she said. "Not Hell or high water."
"You flew here, right?" Shikamaru asked, looking between Cordi and Gaara as he stood.
Gaara gave an affirmative nod as the shadow ninja made his way over to him, clearly happy to see another man in the group.
"What was that like?" Fred asked, her eyes glimmering with intrigue.
Cordi chuckled. "A bit like Aladdin when we were over Suna."
Ronnie and Fred gave affable shrugs as Lynne suppressed a giggle, then sung, "I can show you the world," as she stepped around Cordi, pretending to serenade her with the Disney melody. Gaara frowned, recognizing it from what Cordi sang yesterday. "Shining, shimmering, splendid." Fred stepped over to the psychic, singing along with her, "Tell me princess, when did you last let your heart decide?"
"Yeah, that's enough," Cordi grumbled.
"I can open your eyes. Take you wonder by wonder. Over, sideways and under on a magic carpet ride!" they continued anyway, before belting out ridiculously, "A WHOLE NEW WORLD! A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEW!"
"Stop," Cordi half groaned half laughed as Lynne and Fred dissolved into giggles. She shot Gaara a pained look, who only looked at her confused. "It's a fairytale movie from home."
"Magic carpet?" he asked, his brow furrowing.
Cordi waved the question off, grumbling, "Trust me, it applies."
Lynne was crying as she chuckled, "Really does."
"Although, he's missing a klepto pet monkey," Fred added soberingly.
"Stop," Cordi urged again.
"I always preferred the song Arabian Nights from that movie," Ronnie commented.
"Me too," Cordi sighed. "Probably because it's Robin Williams as the merchant." She stepped over, stepping around Akamaru and pulling Ronnie into a tight hug. "It's good to see you."
"You too," Ronnie replied hollowly.
"How's Kankuro?" Fred asked Gaara, trying to sound inconspicuous.
"He's fine," Gaara answered blandly.
Fred bobbed her head awkwardly, as if debating whether she wanted Gaara to pass a message to his brother or not. "That's good," she grumbled awkwardly. "H-has he talked about me?"
Gaara pursed his lips, then answered, "He's got a lot on his plate right now."
"Right," she breathed.
Cordi ignored them as she put a comforting hand on Ronnie's shoulder. As if sensing Ronnie's guilt through the half-heartedness of the hug, and remembering what Sakura had told her last night, Cordi said, "This wasn't your fault."
"Thanks," Ronnie grumbled, sounding unconvinced.
"I'm serious," Cordi added, her fingers tight. "There were a lot of dominos that were set that could have stopped it, some she put in place herself. You shouldn't be beating yourself up about it."
Ronnie pulled away, looking her closest friend over as she said, "It's good to have you back." She frowned, seeing something around the left side of Cordi's jaw mostly hidden by her hair. Ronnie reached, pulling the curtain of hair aside with a curious frown. Cordi quickly covered the mark with her hand as Ronnie looked at her best friend as if she knew the juiciest gossip, her gaze shifting back to Gaara momentarily. The Kazekage looked between the two girls with slight worry as Ronnie's grin widened to Cheshire-Cat-like as Cordi fixed her hair back over the mark she just learned of. "So, I see you and Gaara were playing Monopoly last night," Ronnie whispered.
"Mhm," Cordi hummed back through pursed lips, and blushing hard, rubbing the mark. "Monopoly" had been a code between the two younger girls for "sex" since Ronnie lost her virginity three and a half years before. Cordi cleared her throat, turning towards her sister. The first thing she noticed was the ventilator was out of the room, and Rox's face mask was now replaced with a tube draped across under her nose. Cordi sighed with relief. "So the brain scan went well?"
"Yeah," Shikamaru stated, leaning against the doorframe. "Her oxygen levels are also back up. And the swelling in her lungs has gone down."
"Oh, thank God," Cordi breathed. She wiped away dust from her eyes as she said, "I don't know what I would have done if she didn't turn around."
"I'm sure Gaara would have been very accommodating," Lynne murmured, shooting a knowing look at the Kazekage, who looked at her warily. Lynne only smirked.
"What?" Cordi hissed warningly.
"What?" Lynne repeated innocently.
Cordi pursed her lips, realizing Lynne probably knew exactly what had happened, reading her mind when Ronnie revealed the hickey, even though neither Lynne or Fred had a clear view of what Ronnie had seen. She turned back, looking at her sister. "So, she'll be waking up soon?"
"That's what Sakura said," Shikamaru answered, sticking his hands in his pockets. His gaze was calculating as he looked Cordi over before shifting back to her sister. "It could still be a couple more days, since her oxygen levels are only between eighty-five and ninety, which isn't ideal, but doesn't require the ventilator anymore unless it crashes again."
"That's good to hear."
Ronnie grabbed Cordi's shoulder, turning her friend back towards her. "Back to the game," she now spoke at a relatively level tone, still grinning like the joker. "What was your piece?" What position?
Cordi pursed her lips, then said, "Battleship." Missionary.
"Yeah, the battleship's nice," Ronnie commented.
"I thought you always picked the horse," Fred interjected, not in the loop of the code.
"Usually, I do," Cordi replied, as Ronnie suppressed a snort at her sister's ignorance. When it came to the game, Cordi did usually pick the horse. But the horse in this instance meant Cowgirl or on top.
Ronnie continued, "Did you pass go and collect your two hundred?" Did he get you off?
Cordi blushed, shifting her gaze over her shoulder. She whispered through gritted teeth so the others couldn't hear her. "I landed on jail." I did not pass go and collect two hundred dollars.
Ronnie pouted, then shrugged, mumbling, "It happens." She made a face, then asked, "Income tax?" Did it hurt?
"Not really."
"I didn't think she brought that board game," Fred said over Cordi and Ronnie's discussion as she thought about it. She pointed at the younger girls, looking at Lynne asking, "Are you understanding what they're talking about?"
Lynne tapped a finger to her temple with a knowing smile. Ronnie pouted while Cordi chewed on her lower lip, looking at the psychic with wide-eyed worry.
Fred's face fell to a scowl then shifted back into her chair and scoffed, "That's so unfair."
"She's got a hickey that wasn't there last night," Shikamaru explained to Fred, sounding mostly cocky, but also a little proud as he leaned against the doorframe opposite Gaara, his hands still shoved in his pockets. Cordi whipped around to see him smirking at Gaara who tried to look unmoved, but both Cordi and Shikamaru could see he was mortified to be put on such a spot. "Good job," Shikamaru said, tipping his head with respect.
"It just kind of happened," Gaara grumbled, blood rushing to his cheeks.
Fred looked between Cordi and Gaara shocked, then blurted, "Did you two have –"
"BAH! BAHBABABBAH!" Cordi half yelled, half hissed waving her hands like wings around silencing everyone. She held a finger up, making a circling motion around, as if gesturing around the room. "Trust square. This doesn't leave this room!"
"Well, there's six of us, so it's not a square," Lynne stated smartly. "Seven if you count Sleeping Beauty."
"Fine, Hexagon. Whatever," Cordi huffed, clearly not caring about shapes. "Doesn't go past this room, and no one tells Rox." She jutted her thumb over to her sleeping sister
Gaara turned to shut the door, but Shikamaru stopped him. "Nah, now they gotta' discuss the dirty details. We should step outside," Shikamaru offered, "Come on. I'll get you a drink." Gaara looked at him closely, then at Cordi, who nodded as if saying it was a good idea, then followed him out.
As soon as the guys were gone, Fred leaned forward. "Alright spill. What happened? When did ya'll start dating?"
"Last night," Cordi answered, blushing.
Fred and Ronnie looked at Cordi taken aback while Lynne let out a disbelieving laugh, even though she could tell Cordi was being completely honest. "Last night?"
"Well, he broke up with Matsuri yesterday morning, and he kissed me," Cordi explained, blushing as she added, "which was the most amazing kiss I ever had."
"Better than Max?" Fred asked with a raised eyebrow. "I thought you said he kissed like a dream last Thanksgiving."
Cordi frowned at her as Ronnie shook her head, knowing the truth. "I said that because he was standing right there. Honestly, Max kissed like a fish. But Gaara …" she sighed wistfully. "Have you ever been kissed by someone and the world just stopped existing for a moment." The girls each nodded with their own dreamy smiles at their own special memories. "Well, it was like that. We were both just so into it. He grabbed my boob, which was doubly surprising, because usually I'm super ticklish, but apparently not there."
"Nice," Ronnie chuckled.
Cordi felt herself laugh as she continued, unable to keep the smile from her face, "Then we were interrupted by some Council members who saw us." She scratched her reddening cheek as she mumbled, "Actually, they're probably going to flip shit about it when we get back."
"Fuck the Council," Lynne said.
"Right?" Cordi huffed. She waved it off. It wasn't important now. It was a problem for future Cordi that she couldn't solve in the moment. She could only worry about it when they got back. "Anyway, then Ronnie called, and we flew here, which I already told you what that was like."
Lynne chuckled, as she said, "So, you could say you and Gaara experienced A Whole New World in more than one way yesterday."
Fred laughed. "You know that's ya'lls song now."
"Please, no," Cordi grumbled.
"Come on," Ronnie whined. "I want you to get to the good stuff. Like what did he do to make you break that promise ring promise?"
Cordi looked at the emerald claddagh on her right ring finger, her thumb running over the metal. She frowned worriedly, then asked, "Should I take it off?"
"Yes," Fred and Ronnie said, while Lynne answered, "No."
Cordi turned to Lynne, who said, "It's a nice claddagh."
"But I broke the promise it symbolizes," Cordi breathed. "Wouldn't it be like keeping an engagement ring?"
Lynne rolled her eyes. "Claddagh rings have different meanings depending on how you wear them. The way you've been wearing it means your single. Just turn it around, it means your taken." Cordi made a confused face, and Lynne scoffed. "Why is the Italian telling you how an Irish ring is worn? Heart out means single. Heart in means dating. Then when you get married, it becomes your wedding band, unless you want to pass it down. Didn't the jeweler give you the low-down when you bought them?"
"Mom and Dad surprised us with them," Cordi stated. She chewed the inside of her cheek, looking at her ring, then pulling it off and turning it around. It felt a little awkward, and she looked at it, but the emerald still sparkled against the silver, untainted.
"So?" Ronnie pressed. "What did he do?"
"Huh?" Cordi asked airily. She shook her head, saying, "He didn't really do anything." She frowned, then admitted, "Well, that's not true. I had a really bad nightmare, and he let me sleep in his room, which only had the one bed. But I'd tried to seduce him earlier. Although, that was mostly because I'd just seen Rox, and I wanted to go back to the moment before the phone call."
"Right," Lynne sighed. "So, was it more like a one-night stand?"
"No," Cordi answered quickly. "At least I don't want it to be. I mean, I know it was a bit soon."
"A bit," Ronnie agreed.
Cordi blushed, slightly ashamed. "But after the way he kissed me, it felt right. Y'know?"
"Kankuro was the same," Fred answered. She smirked eagerly, then asked, "Speaking of which, how'd you take the uncircumcised penis? Did you freak?"
Cordi frowned. "Uncircumcised?"
Fred shrugged, "Kankuro wasn't. Gaara's his brother, so he probably wasn't either."
"Neither's Kiba," Ronnie stated with an odd look. She pursed her lips, realizing the odds of that, at least in comparison to their home-world. She wrinkled her nose as she said, "Maybe they don't do that here."
Cordi pursed her lips, then admitted, "I-I didn't see it. It was kind of dark."
"Well, look next time," Fred directed. "Looks like a bald man in a turtleneck."
Cordi made a face, then said, "Next time." She shrugged adding, "Anyway, that was kind of it. I had a nightmare, he let me sleep in his bed. I had some difficulty sleeping, because he was there, and we ended up talking, then I kissed him because he said he'd been wanting to kiss me for a while, and then he kissed me back. And before I knew it we were pulling our clothes off. I told him I wanted to be in a serious relationship, and he agreed, and then we did it."
Ronnie had her head propped up by her fists, her elbows on her knees. "Besides not getting off, how was it? You said it didn't hurt, so was he tender and sweet? Or was he a little rough?"
"How do you know she didn't get off?" Fred asked.
"The code earlier," Lynne answered.
"He was very tender and considerate. I didn't even bleed. And passionate. Oh my God, was he passionate," Cordi answered. She chewed her lip, excitedly remembering as she recounted, "And vigorous when he got into it. And then earnest towards the end. He knew I hadn't gone, so I think he was trying to get me to go. And after a little while, my head just wasn't in it, even when I had him start kissing me again. Partly because it was my first time, and the sensations weren't what I was expecting. And I could tell he felt exhausted, so …"
"You faked it," Fred filled in.
"Yeah," Cordi admitted shamefully. She cleared her throat, adding, "Even so, that was the most connected I've ever felt with a person. The way he touched me, and held me." She shivered from arousal just thinking about it. "It was amazing. And then we spooned the rest of the night, which was so comforting, especially after my nightmare. I slept like a baby in his arms."
"That's so nice," Ronnie sighed, leaning back. Akamaru grumbled beside her, pawing at her knee so she would pet him.
"Better than my first time," Lynne commented.
Cordi pursed her lips, deciding not to comment on Lynne's addition. They all knew each other's first times, and Lynne's was famously the worst. It was in the backseat of her previous car, which had been a compact sedan, which was awkward enough. He hadn't been gentle, and neither of them finished either thanks to a Charlie-horse cramp in his calf.
Cordi cleared her throat, then turned to her best friend. "Anyway, Ronnie, why do you have Akamaru?" Cordi asked, taking the chair in front of the bathroom door, opposite Ronnie who sat on the bench under the window, with Akamaru at her feet. "Isn't he usually with Kiba?"
"Don't start," Fred grumbled tiredly.
"What?" Cordi asked. Ronnie looked at her feet solemnly while Fred glowered at her, and Lynne sighed tiredly. Clearly, the youngest member of their squad was out of the loop. "I haven't really heard from ya'll since our phone call on Sunday. Did something happen?"
"Well, are you getting back together with him?" Fred snipped, clearly annoyed with her little sister.
Ronnie set her jaw. "It's complicated," she admitted.
"Complicated," Fred scoffed distastefully. "He fucking lied to you. Ghosted you the first week you dated to fuck his ex. That's pretty clean cut to me."
"Technically, I was the other woman," Ronnie corrected.
"He didn't tell you that, though," Fred hissed.
"I missed something," Cordi said, blinking between the Buchanan girls. "Did you and Kiba break up?"
"Yes," Ronnie admitted.
Cordi frowned further, pointing to the very large dog panting happily next to her. "So, why do you have Akamaru?"
The silence was palpable until Ronnie said, "Kiba's in jail this morning. He was – arrested for Public indecency."
Cordi's eyebrows shot to her hairline while Fred scoffed, "Classy."
"It wasn't entirely his fault," Ronnie argued, waving off her sister's ire. She stroked Akamaru's ear as he let out a huff, and she added, "Although, if he had gotten dressed when I told him to, I wouldn't have had to throw him out."
"Throw him out?" Fred snipped. "You mean he spent the night?" Ronnie didn't clarify, only continuing to pet the dog. Fred rolled her eyes, "Can you not help yourself?"
"Hey, cool it," Cordi said to Fred, holding her hand up. She wouldn't claim to know what had driven Ronnie to do what she did last night, but after hearing Sakura's explanation, she could imagine Ronnie needed a distraction from the guilt.
Ronnie's gaze shifted up to Cordi for a second, tearful but thankful she'd absolved her, even though Ronnie wasn't feeling so forgiving.
"When did our lives get so complicated?" Lynne sighed. The other girls turned to the psychic, as she said, "Two months ago, we were going on vacation. Now Ronnie's in one of her most complicated relationships, which is saying something. Fred's bartending and setting up people she doesn't know on dates. Rox has two guys after her, and she's in coma. And Cordi is living a country away, and suddenly in relationship with her boss."
"Ok, you don't have to sound so harsh," Cordi said defensively. Yes, she'd had sex with a man who was technically her boss, but that made it sound like she was sleeping with him to get ahead in her career, which she was clearly not. "Also, who's the other guy after Rox? I thought she was dating Akirama. At least that's what ya'll said Sunday."
"Shikamaru's jealous of them," Fred filled in.
Cordi frowned. "I thought he broke up with her."
"He did," Ronnie stated with a frown. She pursed her lips as she added, "He also was the one who told me Kiba was single. So, I'm doubly mad at him."
Lynne frowned, remembering the conversation with Shikamaru when Ronnie was grilling him about his classmates' relationships. "No, you asked him if Kiba was dating Hinata, which he said no. Although, we didn't know of any other possibilities for him, so I think that was an assumption."
Ronnie furrowed her brow, recalling the conversation, and with wide eyes, realized Lynne had been right. Shikamaru had just said Kiba wasn't with Hinata, but that didn't mean he was necessarily single. Ronnie made that assumption. "Shit," she said softly.
The silence hung between them, then Cordi said, "It was when we got here." They looked at her a little confused, and she clarified, "To answer Lynne's question. That's when our lives got complicated." She scratched her scalp as she asked, "Ya'll ever stop to think about where we would be, what we would be doing if we didn't turn up here?"
"We'd be doing orientation and move-ins," Ronnie stated. "I'd be in Tampa."
"Rox and I'd be in the middle of Georgia. She'd be moving into an apartment, and I'd be getting my dorm," Cordi added.
"I'd be at Penn State," Lynne grumbled, looking at the ceiling. "I wonder if the roommates I was going in on an apartment with found someone else to fill in for me."
"What do you think our parents are doing?" Fred asked.
It was a somber thought. None of them had an answer really. Cordi was certain her parents were probably searching high and low for her and Rox. Likely rallying Lynne's parents and Mrs. Buchanan. With how crazy the girls' lives had gotten since getting here, it was odd to think they'd left behind a world where there was family that loved them and missed them. That was likely looking for them now, with no hint of a trace to follow except the fact that they never arrived at the destination they'd set off for.
Shikamaru took Gaara to a café semi-attached to the hospital lobby opposite a gift shop which advertised pink and blue balloons tied to stuffed animals, as well as gift baskets and cards. They could see the Hospital entrance from the café, which was clearly frequented by many people visiting the hospital, waiting for loved ones' procedures to finish, or exhausted medical ninjas. The café was grab and go style, so they picked up their teas and Shikamaru ordered some dango drizzled with red bean paste.
As Gaara went to pay, Shikamaru stopped him, saying, "This one's on me."
"Thank you," Gaara said before they found an open table to sit down at.
Quietly, they sipped on their tea, and Gaara reached for a dango, asking, "May I?"
"Of course," Shikamaru offered, still sipping on his tea.
It wasn't a well-known fact, but Gaara had a bit of a sweet tooth. There were a few desserts he couldn't abide, like Marron Glace, which he'd had only once, but that was enough. It was far too nutty taste-wise which didn't combine well with the caramelized sugar. Generally speaking, he wasn't a fan of nuts with sweets. It was one of the few things he and Cordi had in common. After one dinner early into her assistant job, she'd mentioned she almost got them brownies for dessert until she saw they had nuts, and she didn't abide nuts in pastries. She said it was a texture thing, not liking the sudden hardness of the nuts in a soft pastry, plus she preferred her nuts to be salty, not sweet. He remembered that conversation fondly, as it was one of the few times they agreed, and he hadn't been worried he'd say something wrong. It was one of those comfortable nothing conversations.
Generally, Gaara loved dango, with the exception of dango with nuts drizzled on top. He even liked dango with red bean paste, if the paste was even, not chunky. The red bean paste on this dango was nice and even. He ate the first one on the stick of four, and savored the sweetness. It was a unique dessert to Konoha, and paired nicely with the morning chai tea.
"So," Shikamaru drawled, "Cordelia, huh?"
Gaara blushed before muttering a small, "Yeah."
Shikamaru sipped his tea before asking, "How long has that been going on?"
Gaara blushed more as he said, "Technically, just since yesterday."
Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up high as he put his tea on the table. "Yesterday?"
Gaara nodded, biting off another dango.
Shikamaru chuckled ironically, grabbing his own dango as he said, "Huh. I guess that hickey was a bit misleading."
Gaara frowned, unsure what he meant. "She gave me one first," Gaara stated. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at him, and Gaara unbuttoned his top button, sliding his collar aside enough for Shikamaru to see the edge of the red mark. He refastened his shirt before taking another bite of dango, adding, "I only reciprocated what she did to me."
Shikamaru chuckled, sipping on his tea as he admitted, "You both insinuated you had gone all the way. Not just made out."
Gaara frowned. He wasn't so out of touch to know "gone all the way" meant had sex. "We did have sex," Gaara corrected around a bite of dango, confused what made Shikamaru believe otherwise.
Shikamaru's eyes shot wide as he spit his tea with surprise, then coughed, choking on his tea. Shikamaru leaned slightly forward, his mouth hanging slightly open with a confused half smile, and his eyes were so wide and unblinking with his eyebrows practically in his hairline. The only sound he could emit was a small, honking, "Huh?" His expression was truly comical to the Kazekage, who could barely suppress the small smile coming to his lips for stumping the strongest strategical mind in the ninja world.
"We had sex," Gaara repeated evenly, taking a little pride in Shikamaru's shock. Now the man he once called brother understood his own feelings when Temari announced her betrothal to him seven months ago. Completely blindsided shock.
Shikamaru's right eye twitched as Gaara blandly took a sip of his tea. "Yesterday," Shikamaru clarified.
"Mmm," Gaara grunted affirmatively, putting his tea back on the table.
Shikamaru blinked at him for a long, silent moment, then asked, "And the first time you kissed her?"
Gaara tilted his head, closing his eyes, emoting slight shame. "Technically last week, but she was asleep, so I'm not sure that counts." Shikamaru blinked at him for a minute before pursing his lips. Shikamaru had seen Gaara do much worse than perv on a girl. It just seemed out of character for the Kazekage. Gaara continued, "Awake was yesterday morning after I broke up with Matsuri."
Shikamaru frowned. "Matsuri?"
Gaara nodded, his eyes closing with self-annoyance. "The woman I was seeing when you and Temari called it quits."
Shikamaru closed his eyes, remembering their conversation before Shikamaru left Suna for the last time. He'd asked if Gaara had been ready to marry the girl to save Shikamaru's and Temari's relationship. He was clearly unsure about the relationship. Shikamaru vaguely remembered the girl. She was the one they saved when they repaid the Sand for their assistance with the Sasuke attempt. She had been in the chunin exam that most of his friends passed, the first one Shikamaru had proctored. She'd also been a part of Temari's division during the war. He shook his head, upset he hadn't realized it sooner. "What happened?"
Gaara set his jaw, then admitted, "She cheated on me with Kankuro. Now she's pregnant." Gaara took another sip, washing down the bitter feelings the admission created.
Shikamaru looked at him wide eyed, then turned away. "Shit," he cursed.
Gaara tilted his head somberly, then added, "I'm only telling you that because a few months ago, I considered you my brother." He licked his lips as he added, "And there's no one else I can trust to talk to about it."
"Of course," Shikamaru murmured. Even though Gaara was closest with Naruto, this wasn't something he could tell the loudmouth. Shikamaru shifted in his seat, then said, "I take it Kankuro doesn't know she was your secret girlfriend."
Gaara shook his head. He picked up his dango stick, eating the last dango on it before leaning back. He swallowed, then said, "He knew she was seeing someone, just didn't put it together."
"Of course not," Shikamaru grumbled, then licked his lips. "Did she give you a reason? An excuse?"
Gaara set his jaw, tonguing the inside of his cheek before stating, "She said I was romantically inept. She thought I was repulsed by her advances –" He chewed is cheek before adding, "which I guess wasn't entirely off."
Shikamaru frowned, trying to piece it all together. "So, you seduced Cordi to prove otherwise."
"No, I kissed her yesterday morning to prove it otherwise," Gaara corrected. "If anything, she did the seducing last night." Shikamaru raised an eyebrow with interest at that addition. Gaara moved his lips without making any noise before admitting, "I think the kiss yesterday morning awoke something in both of us. I'd never felt desire like that before."
"Really?"
Gaara chewed the inside of his lower lip, admitting, "I'd had a crush on her for a while, even though I was dating Matsuri. But that was just an indulgent fantasy. During work, we fought constantly and she was mostly an annoyance."
"At work?" Shikamaru asked.
"The Council made Cordelia my assistant, to make sure she was always under observation. So, we're around each other constantly," Gaara explained, looking off in the distance. "But the idea of being with her in that way didn't particularly solidify until I kissed her yesterday. Before being close or intimate with her was just something I felt would be nice if it happened. Then yesterday if felt like it was something I needed." He moved his lips again, thinking carefully of his words, then added, "Almost like offering food to a starving man."
Shikamaru nodded. "Yeah, I know the feeling."
Gaara wrinkled his nose slightly, trying hard not to think Shikamaru was referring to Temari. He sipped his tea to hide his disgust at the idea. He'd always seen Temari as a sexless being, as he figured most brothers saw their sisters, and vice versa.
Shikamaru pursed his lips, then asked, "So, how was it? The sex, I mean."
"Difficult to put in words," Gaara answered after a long moment. He fingered his mug before attempting to do so. "Before having it, it felt like something that was going to drastically change my world. Completely change me in a way. Now it just feels like it's what it is."
Shikamaru looked at him curiously, then asked, "That bad, huh?"
Gaara shook his head. "I enjoyed it, myself," he corrected.
Shikamaru's gaze narrowed. "Ah. She didn't," he filled in.
Gaara blushed, knowing his silence was only a confirmation. He picked up his tea to sip before he said, "There was a suspicious lack of natural disasters."
Shikamaru chuckled, adding, "Well, Kiba and Ronnie have been at it for over a month, and we haven't seen any natural disasters from them." Shikamaru shrugged, "Although, Rox and I did have a moment a month ago where she got a bit worked up, causing a torrent of wind that cleared the skies." Shikamaru didn't admit that was a moment he'd relived in his dreams a couple times the past few weeks. Those dreams always started the same, cloud gazing with Rox, each of them pointing out ridiculous shapes until their hands brushed, and their eyes met. Shikamaru always kissed first, then he'd pin her under him, taking her in every sense of the word, holding her like an anchor as the wind whipped so violently, stealing their breath from their lips as he brought her to that brink and followed her over. It was … exhilarating.
Across the Hospital courtyard, Shikamaru caught the sight of silver hair, and frowned. Akirama Senju was walking out of the giftshop with blue flowers, they looked like irises and a get well soon balloon. There was only one place he could possibly be going. In an instant, Shikamaru's mood soured, and he grumbled, "That asshole."
Gaara frowned, following his gaze, and asked, "Who's that?"
"That is Akirama Senju. Roxanne's new boyfriend as of last week," Shikamaru grumbled into his tea.
Gaara noticed Shikamaru's change in mood, and the news Roxanne was with another man was surprising, so he decided to ask, "What did happen between you two? When I was last here, you two were dating."
Shikamaru scowled, clearly annoyed with himself rather than the question as he answered, "I tried to be noble, and it bit me in the ass."
Gaara blinked, a little confused by the answer. "How so?"
Shikamaru closed his eyes and huffed, "Lord Kakashi made me their sensei. So, even though we were dating beforehand, it felt like an abuse of my position. Or, at least, that's how I knew others would see it. And I didn't want to put her through that."
Gaara still looked unsure. Clearly he understood the reasoning, but not the result. "And?"
"And I broke up with her," Shikamaru stated, as if it were obvious. "Which has caused me more pain than necessary."
"Because of Akirama," Gaara filled in.
Shikamaru shook his head, stating, "Akirama is the recent hurdle, but the pain started earlier, and it was my own doing."
Gaara exhaled, understanding a little what he meant. "Well, with Kankuro becoming a father, I'm sure the Council would sign off on you marrying Temari now if you so choose." It felt like the right time to make the suggestion. He wouldn't betray Temari's continued feelings, but it had only been six months since they broke their wedding off. With Temari's feelings still intact, surely Shikamaru's feelings were much the same, minus the recent relationship.
Shikamaru let out a bitter laugh, his gaze tired and tormented. "Honestly," he started, "and don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think I could go back." Gaara frowned at him curiously, and Shikamaru took a deep breath before explaining, "Don't get me wrong, I loved your sister. A part of me still does. We had a deep connection built on a lot of history and friendship. But it was always a fight with her. It wasn't just the normal relationship fights due to poor communication either, but also our hobbies didn't exactly coincide, disagreements politically, how to handle certain situations from ninja strategies to family, also what kind of family we wanted to build and when. Then you add the extra drama with the Council, the Daimyos trying to step in, the expectations of Suna on top of the expectations of my clan and Konoha, in addition to all the traveling to keep the relationship alive, which took its tolls on many of our friendships. It was a constant battle, and even the best of relationships don't always last through trials like that.
"I didn't have any of those battles with Roxanne. The connection between Rox and I grew quickly, because I could tell after the first date with her, that she was the type who only made deep connections. She didn't play games with others' feelings, or try to manipulate me into asking her out. While her friends played those games, she was blunt about her feelings from day one, and didn't make me guess or wonder if I was making any missteps. Which Temari did constantly, and it drove me up a wall." He shook his head, not wanting to frame Temari in a bad light to her brother. Everyone knew it was extenuating circumstances that drove them apart. Not either of them. "The one-time Rox and I had a disagreement, it was because we were breaking up, and Rox told me I was being stupid." He smiled bitterly as he finished, "And I was. I'd take it all back if I knew then how futile shoving my feelings down would be when I still had to see her every day, walk by her dorm every day, fall more for her every day while telling myself she was off-limits."
"You love her," Gaara said. He'd noted the concern on Shikamaru's face when they were in Rox's hospital room, but now seeing his smile as he talked about her, it was the same easy smile he wore when he was engaged to Temari. No. It was more at peace.
Shikamaru sighed. "Yeah, I do." He fingered his mug as he said with finality, "When Temari and I broke things off, I knew we'd both eventually land on our feet and move on. But with Rox, I can't turn away. Not unless I know she'll be fine."
"Then why aren't you with her?" Gaara asked.
Shikamaru laughed bitterly. "That is the question."
They sat in comfortable silence for the rest of their tea. Gaara appreciated the brotherly relationship he'd made with Shikamaru hadn't changed. It had allowed him to unburden the problems he'd been facing alone, and he knew he'd provided the same assistance for Shikamaru. A small smile found its way to the Kazekage's face as he realized maybe Shikamaru Nara would still be his brother after all. He was a reliable brother to have.
Matsuri was in her dormitory bathroom, fighting through another bought of morning sickness when she heard a knock at her door. "Hold on!" she coughed, spitting out bile into the toilet before flushing. She stood by the sink, seeing her gaunt reflection in the mirror. She did not have that pregnancy glow she'd always heard about. Her eyes had bags, partly from crying so much yesterday, and then the morning sickness that showed up right before bed time. It was bull shit that she not only had to worry about being sick in the morning, but the evening as well. She re-brushed her teeth for the second time that morning, and smoothed her poncho as she walked to the door.
She took a steadying breath before she opened it. She wasn't expecting anyone, and honestly just wanted to sleep. Jari had informed her excessive tiredness was normal for the first couple weeks. In all honesty, she'd felt practically drugged from the exhaustion on the way back from the Cloud. If this was a salesman, she decided she wouldn't be responsible for her actions.
"Hello," she said, trying her best to smile convincingly as she opened the door. Her eyes flew wide as she saw who was standing there.
Temari's cool, assessing gaze roved over her silently. The Sand princess eyed Matsuri like a problem to be solved, or a bug to be destroyed. "May I come in?" she asked.
Matsuri pulled the door wide, allowing the jonin ambassador in. Temari walked in, her shrewd gaze taking in the small studio-style dormitory. It had a kitchenette, and a bathroom. The bathroom looked no larger than Temari's closet, housing a shower, toilet, and mirror. The bed had yet to be made, and a collage of pictures was taped to the wall above her desk. There was her graduation picture from the Suna Ninja Academy, where Matsuri was smiling next to a stone-faced Gaara. Matsuri also had picture with her genin team after their first mission, as well as when they became chunin. There were pictures of her parents, who'd died before she came to Suna as a refugee six years ago. The room was cutesy in its decor. The wardrobe door was wide open, exposing her clothes hanging and where her ninja gear littered the bottom.
Temari turned with a frown. She was surprised she'd never thought of Matsuri's living accommodations until the realization she was carrying her brother's child. She knew the dorms were small, averaging between four hundred and six hundred square feet. And this one was smaller than that. In comparison to the penthouse's two thousand four hundred square feet, it was dismally small. She could fit most of Matsuri's apartment in her own bedroom.
"W-would you like some tea?" Matsuri sputtered out.
Temari didn't dignify the question with an answer, instead noting, "This apartment is too small to care for a child."
Matsuri didn't know how to respond to that, other than, "So, you know."
Once Temari finished her three-sixty scope of the dismally small apartment, she turned to her, then asked, "Have you had breakfast?"
"My morning sickness just abated," Matsuri admitted. "So, no."
Temari nodded. She stepped back towards the front door, directing, "Well, come on. We have a lot to discuss, and we can't have you starving."
Sheepishly, Matsuri followed her out of her apartment, grabbing her pouch which had her wallet and ninja essentials. Temari led her down to a small dive diner on the corner. It was one of those restaurants that was open twenty-four/seven, minus major holidays like Rinne. And they only served breakfast foods. It was still fairly early at nine o'clock, so going to get breakfast wasn't entirely odd at the moment. They were seated, and ordered their food. Temari got fruit and toast with tea, while Matsuri ordered pancakes, fruits and eggs, citing breakfast foods were one of the few things she could hold down. They were given their teas, and they filled them as they liked before sipping on them.
As Temari set down her mug, she said, "Given my brother's involvement in your situation, I feel you should move in with us."
Matsuri almost choked, clearing her throat lightly before waving the notion off. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"You're carrying his child, and the continuation of our clan," Temari reasoned, sounding heartlessly logical rather than empathetic. "We should be taking care of you." Matsuri let out an awkward huff as Temari continued, "Your apartment is too small to care for an infant, which you'll have to move from anyway, since you can no longer be an active ninja. And if you moved in with us, you'd get our family's protection even if Kankuro didn't accept responsibility."
Matsuri chewed her lip nervously, not looking at the older blonde. "You think he won't."
Temari sighed. "I think Kankuro is terrified and unreliable when it comes to things like this. I'd like to think he would do the right thing, but he's never liked to be tied down. He's a bit of a man-child in that regard." Matsuri knew her assessment of Kankuro was spot on. Even though their moments together were mostly carnal, they'd talked enough that she knew he was flighty at best. It was why she'd had her own panic attack when she learned her predicament.
Mai, her sensei, was a basic healer. So when she'd collapsed halfway home, Mai's healing technique identified the pregnancy. Matsuri was in denial the whole way home until Mai dragged her to Jari at the hospital, who confirmed she was five weeks pregnant, clarifying that it was likely from a sexual encounter two to three weeks before. She knew it was the night at Dunescape with Kankuro, after her failed seduction of Gaara. After the diagnosis, she thought about drinking the sylph tea, but it wasn't a guarantee the pregnancy would end at the four-week mark. The probability of just the tea doing the job was negligible after implantation, dropping to below fifty percent, because it was a diluted dose. Plus, a part of her thought the child was meant to be since she'd gotten pregnant despite using a condom. That was at least until she talked to Kankuro yesterday.
He had just gone in raw, and didn't tell her. She was still pissed about that. After talking with him, she thought of drinking the tea, just in case luck favored her this time. She didn't want this baby. But as she brewed herself the tea last night, she thought over all of the risks. The tea possibly couldn't induce a miscarriage like she hoped, but could cause birth defects in the child. Plus, everyone already knew about the pregnancy. At least everyone important. Gaara would still see her as tainted goods now, no matter what. Kankuro knew, and had apparently told Temari, and probably that Cordelia chick who was so eager to swoop in. Plus her whole team knew, and even though she swore them to secrecy, it was only a matter of time until the entire village knew. It didn't matter if she miscarried, all of them saw her differently now. And she didn't want them to think of her as unmotherly. So, she poured the tea down the drain, threw out the teabags, and wept herself to sleep. It was like Mai had said. She'd made her bed, now it was time to lie in it.
But, none of that meant she should move in with the father of her child and his siblings. Especially when one of those siblings had been a man she'd cheated on. Temari couldn't have known about that, otherwise she wouldn't have asked. "Thank you, Temari," Matsuri answered, "but I have to decline the offer. You already have a guest staying with you, and I don't want to put her out." That was a bold-faced lie, but Temari nodded understandingly. "Plus, the request should come from Kankuro, flighty or not. I won't force myself or my child into his life if he is not willing."
Temari looked at her sadly, saying, "That's very noble of you."
Actually, it's rather cowardly, Matsuri corrected. I can't live with Gaara now that he knows what I did. And definitely not with that bimbo throwing herself at him.
Temari nodded, as if deciding something herself, and added, "I'll talk with Gaara about setting you up in a home. It's only right the heir of our clan is taken care of. I can't abide my niece or nephew being raised in a dormitory. I doubt Gaara could either."
Matsuri hid a wince, thinking, The less Gaara is involved, the better.
The waiter dropped off their food, and they dug in. Temari was halfway through her fruit cup as she added conversationally, "The reason I came down here wasn't necessarily to judge your living space, but to help you land a civilian job and get you some maternity clothes."
Matsuri frowned. "Isn't it a bit early for maternity clothes?"
Temari shook her head. "I had a friend get pregnant around Rinne last year. She needed maternity clothes by the end of her second month. Which for you, will be here before you can blink," Temari explained. Matsuri had to admit, that was a bit surprising. So soon? Temari finished her food, then gestured to Matsuri, who was only half done, saying, "You'll need to hurry a bit. We have a lot to do, and not much time."
Matsuri quickly wolfed down what she could, then followed Temari out into Suna to find her a job, and then some new maternity clothes to accommodate her steadily growing bump. Matsuri had to admit, that was the first time she ever thought of Temari as a kind, gentle, and caring person. She'd always been so terrified of the kunoichi, and she wasn't sure if Temari was actually warming up to Matsuri, or putting on a kind façade since she was carrying Kankuro's baby. If anything, Matsuri leaned to the second option. But it was nice to go around town with the Suna princess, and pretend that maybe, just maybe, she found Matsuri as an interesting young girl and a valuable addition to the family.
"I'm sorry. I'm not sure I understand," the cop manning the front desk of the Konoha police station said, holding his hand up. "You want to bail out Kiba Inuzuka, and pay his fine, but you don't want him to know who bailed him out?"
Ronnie nodded. Next to her Akamaru grumbled, and she patted his head instinctively, her fingernails scratching at his ears. Shortly after Akirama arrived at the hospital, Fred and Lynne had decided to head to lunch around twelve thirty. Cordi introduced herself, but also made a few excuses to return to Gaara. They invited her to lunch, but she cited that with the jet lag, she wasn't remotely close to hungry yet, and said she'd make plans with him to not throw them off. Fred and Lynne said they understood, urging Cordi to join them for dinner tomorrow evening, which she agreed to. Ronnie knew she had to handle her unfinished business before she ate, so she bowed out of lunch as well after walking to the street with Fred and Lynne. They saw Cordi join Shikamaru and Gaara as they were returning to the hospital, but didn't go over to chat. Ronnie went off on her own, making her way to the police station. It wasn't too far from the West Gate, but further south towards the river. It took her forty minutes to walk there from the hospital, so it was already after one.
The cop blinked at her, as if the request was rather odd, then asked, "May I ask why?"
"We recently broke up, and I don't want to give him false hope," she answered.
The cop frowned. "With all due respect, why not just leave him in the cell then? Most exes wouldn't trouble themselves like this."
She chewed on her lip, looking at the cop. He had light brown eyes and gray-green hair tied back in a low bun under his police cap, which had a new logo than what she recognized from the show. Instead of the Uchiha fan, there was a gold shuriken star, with Konoha's spiraling leaf in the middle. "What's your name?" she asked.
"Hattori Fuma."
"Well, Hattori Fuma, have you ever loved someone who hurt you?" she asked. The cop nodded. "Even though they hurt you, did you want them to suffer meaninglessly?"
"It depends on how they hurt me," he answered.
She sighed, then said, "He lied about a previous lover."
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok," she said, waving him off. "But if you loved someone who lied to you, would you want them to suffer meaninglessly, or would you want them to learn their lesson?"
"It depends how big the lie was," he answered honestly.
She nodded, understanding that. "It was a big one," she said quietly. "I guess it's complicated because I know he's still a good guy and I still like him. He just needs to get his life in order before he tries to get me back."
The cop shook his head, stating, "If you're bailing him out anonymously, he's probably not worth it."
Ronnie stroked Akamaru next to her, looking at the dog who looked eagerly for his master as she stated, "Yes, he is."
The cop pulled up the file, opened it, then said, "He was arrested for … public indecency." He looked at her, clearly alarmed she was bailing out a pervert.
"Yeah, that was a bit my fault," she stated. "I threw him out before he got dressed … because he didn't get dressed when I told him to."
The cop nodded oddly, his lips pursed as he looked back over the file. "Ri-ight," he murmured. He moved his lips wordlessly, tonguing his cheek as his eyes traveled over the page, then he said, "Aha. His bail is fifty, and the fine is five hundred."
Ronnie let out a whistle as she reached for her wallet. "You take checks, right?" she asked. She didn't keep that kind of money on hand, barely had that money in the bank either, but she could lean on her sister. And luckily the banking system was similar here as it was back home.
The man nodded, and she wrote him a check, then ripped it out of her checkbook, handing it to him. "That should handle it." As he grabbed it, she held on, then said, "Wait a couple minutes after I leave, alright."
The cop frowned at the odd request, but nodded.
Ronnie knelt down to Akamaru rubbing his ear. He let out a whine, as he could sense this was goodbye, his tail thumping against the floor. "I know. I'll miss you too," she said tearfully. She kissed the top of his head, and he grumbled before pulling his head back, leaning into her scratching around his neck. "This stays between us, Akamaru. He needs to get his life in order before he tries to win me back. So, he can't know I bailed him out, alright?"
Akamaru grumbled again.
"Deal?" Ronnie asked, holding her hand out to shake. Akamaru held his paw to her hand, and she shook it. "I'm going to hold you to it. Don't rat me out."
He barked.
She razzed the top of his head, telling him, "Be a good boy, my puppershnup." He licked at her hand, and she stood to leave. "Stay," she directed, and he did, watching her walk out. His tail wagging slowed as she disappeared from view, and he whined again.
After a while, the cop stood, walking back to the lock-up where they kept the prisoners' affects, pulling out Kiba's still damp clothes before walking back to the jail cell. "Kiba Inuzuka, your bail has been posted."
Kiba, who'd been sitting next to the drunk in favor of the bald yakuza in the opposite corner, stood. He was easy to spot, being the only man in there in an orange jumpsuit given to prisoners who weren't properly dressed. "It's my mother, isn't it," Kiba grumbled walking up to the cell doors. "I'm sure she'll have some choice words."
"It was a good Samaritan," the cop stated, opening the door for him. "Saw the incident, but didn't think you'd done it on purpose."
Kiba stepped out and scoffed, "Lucky."
The cop locked back up, then handed Kiba his wet clothes, pointing to the bathroom down the hall, stating, "You can get changed in there." Kiba did, grumbling the whole time. He tried to shake his clothes free of the water, but to no avail. He stepped out, his shoes and pants squeaking from their dampness. The cop eyed him carefully, then saw his half zipped chunin vest, revealing his white t-shirt and his shinobi issue shoes and said, "You're a ninja?"
Kiba frowned, following the cop who'd turned to lead him towards the front. "Well spotted."
"From the Inuzuka clan?"
Kiba nodded as if that were obvious.
"You train dogs?"
Kiba smirked, again as if it were obvious. "That's kind of our thing."
The cop pursed his lips, then asked, "Probably inappropriate to ask right now, but you ever thought about becoming a cop?"
Kiba scoffed as if the idea was ridiculous. "No. Why?"
The cop made a face, then said, "Apparently the new chief recently went on vacation to the Land of Cliffs, y'know, skiing." Kiba nodded, familiar with the Land of Cliffs' snowy mountain range that stretched from the Sound around the coast of Ishika Bay, forming many cliffs along the coast, giving the country its name. But towards the center, the mountains sloped nicely enough for many ski resorts to open up to line the pockets of wealthy land-owners. It was primely located, being within four days travel from the prominent five nations' ninja villages. It was only a day and a half walk from Konoha, making it accessible even to the civilians of the village. "Well, apparently, up there, their police force is run by the Mononoke clan, which is another clan that uses dogs."
"I know of the Mononoke clan," Kiba stated shortly.
The Mononokes and Inuzukas were rival ninken clans, both rumored to be descended from the ancient legendary Princess Mononoke, who tamed the first wolves, and settled the mountains from the Land of Cliffs to the Land of Frost. It was a legend about as old as the Moon Princess. They were once one clan, but sometime during the Sage of Six Paths travels, his teachings split the ideals of the clans, and the Inuzukas followed the Sage of Six Paths back to his home in the Land of That, which had once been in the northwestern reaches of the Land of Fire, but was now no more than a city state. While the Mononokes and Inuzukas were now rival clans, they held a friendly, but competitive, détente between them that only got worse after the Inuzukas were offered to join the ranks of Leaf Shinobi in Konoha a little over seventy years ago. Although, Kiba was certain that if he'd brought home a blonde-braided Mononoke girl home with her ale laden Saint Bernard, his mother would have accepted her with open arms. However, after Hana confessed to him just before the war that she'd tracked down their father without their mother's knowledge, and that he was now living with the Mononoke clan with one of those blonde dog-sledders, he couldn't stomach the idea. He was not his father.
"Right," the cop exhaled awkwardly. "Well, anyway, now the chief wants to emulate their police force a bit, by instituting a K-9 unit that could help us sniff out contraband and track escaped criminals. But he's having trouble getting it through because Kakashi doesn't want to push the Inuzukas to take on police duties because of what happened with the Uchihas, and the Inuzuka clan heads are kind of stone-walling us."
Kiba frowned, having heard some of the issue from his mother, who was one of the clan heads pushing against it. The heads disagreed with the police chief on the grounds it seemed like a bad move clan-wise. The Inuzukas didn't want to become the police clan, which would not just hurt the clans standing among the other Leaf shinobi by losing their ranks among the Tracker Corps and the Medical Corps, but it could also hurt the villagers perception of ninken, which meant adopting out injured and retired ninken even more impossible than it already was. The last part was the most worrying part about the K-9 unit proposal.
"You seem fairly well-informed on a project not even started yet," Kiba commented. K-9 units had only been proposed and rejected. So, how did this low-level desk jockey know about it?
"The police chief is my uncle. I've heard him mention it over dinner once or twice," the cop admitted.
"Ah," Kiba murmured.
"Anyway, if we could get a few Inuzukas who wanted to join our ranks without necessarily a push from the clan heads, we could establish a K-9 unit," the cop continued. "But we aren't allowed to go to clan compounds and recruit, and since the only Inuzuka clan members we tend to see are no longer ninja due to serious battle injuries that automatically disqualify them, we don't often get the opportunity to talk to you all one on one to see if there's any personal interest."
Kiba smiled seeing Akamaru waiting for him at the front desk, and cheered, "Akamaru! Did you bail me out?" Akamaru jumped at him as he asked the question, and Kiba hugged him, rubbing his ears excitedly.
Akamaru barked, earning a slightly confused expression from Kiba who said, "No? Just a friend?" Kiba kept rubbing, a little bit as he murmured, "Huh." Then he allowed Akamaru to drop back down, scratching his head, as he turned back to the cop, asking, "So, what's the issue?
The cop pursed his lips in surprise by Kiba's directness, then asked, "Would you like to join? You look like you're in good health, minus the broken nose."
Kiba looked at him as if he'd gone mad, then said, "I'm literally just getting out of jail."
"For a misdemeanor that several witnesses claimed was not on purpose or malevolently done," the cop waved off. "The person who bailed you out paid the fine too, so give it a month, and it's off your record."
Kiba frowned at that. Whoever bailed him out paid the fine too? So his only punishment this time was a few hours in the clink? Good Samaritan, indeed. "I'll have to think about it," Kiba blurted, even though he was almost certain he wouldn't do it. He wanted to become Hokage, and doing time as a police officer would only eat into his training.
"Why don't I give you my card," the cop offered, reaching over next to his computer. "That way I can get you in directly to see the chief. I'm sure he'd be excited to have you in the ranks."
Kiba took the card with a pursed smile, seeing the card said, "Officer Hattori Fuma : Konoha Police Department." Kiba held it up as a small salute, and said, "Thanks."
He walked out with Akamaru trailing behind him. As he strode to the street, he heard someone call out, "Kiba! You're already out?"
He turned to see Sakura walking down the road that led towards the hospital. "I guess everyone knows?" he scoffed, realizing news like that probably traveled faster than normal. But it did make him wonder who had seen him getting arrested this morning, naked and unconscious.
"Not everyone," she stated, walking up to him. "Ronnie was talking with her friends about it while I was tending to Roxanne. She also mentioned you rebroke your nose, so I was coming down here on my break to fix it."
"Roxanne?" he frowned. He knew it was one of Ronnie's otherworldly friends, but why Sakura would be tending to her didn't make sense.
Sakura lifted her hands, glowing with healing chakra to fix his nose as she answered, "Yeah. Apparently Kakashi had Shikamaru up their training as punishment while you're healing. And apparently, Roxanne hadn't disclosed that she suffered from asthma, and she collapsed."
"Shit," he breathed.
"Yeah, she's in a coma," Sakura said regretfully. "I know each of the girls and Shikamaru were taking it hard, but Shikamaru and Ronnie were taking it especially hard, since they both felt at fault for putting her in that position."
Kiba exhaled, suddenly feeling hollow with understanding. He didn't understand Ronnie's flip this morning, but after hearing Sakura, it solidified in his mind. Last night was not them reconnecting. It wasn't even about them. Ronnie had used him for her own self-flagellation. It didn't matter how much love he felt in the actions of last night, how much love he thought communicated through his touches and kisses. She asked him to use her, and he did. She was no more connected to him last night than a prostitute and her client. The thought sickened him a little. He'd been rough and cruel in his love making last night because he thought she liked it, not because she wanted to hurt.
"You're lucky the packaging was still in place," Sakura stated, putting her hands down. "It held the bones in place this time, so I was able to heal it back to where it was a couple days ago, so your healing timeline isn't too thrown off. Come back to the clinic to get it redressed this afternoon."
"Thank you, Sakura," he breathed.
Sakura nodded, leaving him as she went to get her much needed lunch.
Kiba looked at Akamaru, then sighed, "Let's go home."
It was after one o'clock when Cordi and Gaara decided to leave the hospital, with Shikamaru staying in the waiting room as Akirama made his visit. Shikamaru told Cordi as the team leader, he felt compelled to stay, but it was clear Cordi saw through that. "When she wakes, you should tell her how you feel," Cordi directed, before turning to Gaara and suggesting they take a walk around Konoha, citing last time they were here, she was so busy training under Temari, she didn't get to see the sites. "You've been here so many times. Surely you could show me around."
"I'm hardly a local," Gaara debated.
"You should go to Senju Park," Shikamaru suggested. He jutted his thumb over his shoulder, stating, "It's just around the corner. Besides trees, there's a nice lake and a memorial garden. Although the cherry blossoms aren't in season, the Sakura Grove is still very nice."
Cordi smiled as she said, "While the cherry grove might be nice, it couldn't compare to the end of March. At least that's when we had the Cherry Blossom Festivals back home."
"Your country celebrated a Cherry Blossom Festival?" Shikamaru asked, sounding surprised.
"Not the whole country, just the DC metropolitan area. The festival I believe is celebrated a bit differently than you'd recognize, since Konoha is based on Japan," Cordi explained airily. "Back home, it was less of the seasonal festival you'd recognize, and more of a garden and arts festival. At least that's how it was in our hometown."
"Interesting," Shikamaru uttered. He shrugged as he added, "Well, that's not all that's in the park. Also the Senju Grand Tree, and Senju Falls." A knowing smirk graced his lips as he said, "And the hot springs are on the other side."
Gaara and Cordi both blushed, not looking at each other, and Cordi cleared her throat and said, "Maybe another time." She awkwardly turned to leave without a goodbye or anything, and Gaara followed her out.
After a while, Gaara offered, "We could still go look at the Sakura Grove, if it would remind you of home."
She turned to him and asked, "Have you seen a cherry blossom grove in full bloom?"
Gaara frowned, then admitted, "Only in movies."
She smiled reminiscently, then said, "Then you wouldn't get the full effect. It truly is beautiful. My Dad, his office in DC was only a few blocks away from Tidal Basin, where all the cherry trees are planted. One year, when I was seven or eight, we walked from his office to the Jefferson Memorial while the trees were in full bloom." She pouted, tilting her head, then admitted, "After that day, I used to have a dream of walking among those groves of cherry blossoms when they were in full bloom. I was always walking alongside a man I knew was the love of my life, even though I never saw his face." She blushed as she finished, "It always ended the same way, with my friends and family appearing from behind the trees, and the man getting on one knee to propose to me, and I'd always wake before I answered because I realized it was just a dream." She shook her head hard, laughing it off. "What I mean is the effect of seeing all the blooms is magical. Seeing the grove out of season, it'd just be trees."
Gaara nodded, understanding a bit why she discarded the idea. It wouldn't be the same. Ultimately, they decided to walk around Konoha, going towards the West Gate, where the river ran. There were many stores and restaurants along the road where Cordi would pause to window shop. After walking around Konoha for a while, palpable silence lingering between them as they looked in windows, commenting only on the weather, Cordi finally mentioned that she was starting to get a bit hungry. So, Gaara took Cordi to lunch at one of Konoha's special restaurants where he was able to request a private room. As the garcon led them to a table in the back room, Cordi said, "We don't need a private room. We can eat in the open area."
Gaara shook his head, stating, "Not if we want to protect your reputation." She frowned at him as he clarified, "Being the Kazekage, I've had tabloids printed about me when on business if a woman is involved, and someone took a photo. It's most prevalent in Suna, but I wouldn't put it past someone in Konoha wanting to spread gossip."
Cordi scoffed as they sat down. "Who knew ninjas were such notorious gossips. I had noticed some of the tabloids in Suna. But I thought most people thought they were just bullshit. That's what most people think at home."
Gaara gave a pursed smile as he said, "Well, gossip is how a ninja gets a lot of intel that's not readily available." He smirked as he put his napkin in his lap, stating, "You'll have to know how to do that when we return."
"Hm?" She looked at him confused.
He licked his lips, stating, "I've decided to make you a ninja, and the Council has agreed."
She beamed at him, and he felt his heart flutter as she asked, "Really?" He nodded. Then her face fell as she said, "Wait, is this because I can't be considered a runaway ninja for this trip?"
He pursed his lips before answering, "It is."
"Dammit," she hissed, thumping the table. She chewed on her cheek before she asked, "So what does that mean for me?"
"Missions, along with continuing to be my secretary," Gaara answered.
She narrowed her eyes, asking, "What kinds of missions?" She sounded nervous about his answer, and he raised a hairless eyebrow at her. It wasn't the kind of question he heard from prospective shinobis. Most people knew the risks, and jumped at the chance.
"As a genin, usually simple retrieval missions," he answered.
She chewed on her lip, then asked, "Will I be put in a position … I won't have to kill people, will I?" She asked it so innocently.
He pursed his lips. Did she not understand what it was to be ninja? She'd said she'd watched them as a show from their graduation from the Academy to when they were meeting to declare war. Death was part of the job at any level. A shinobi was someone who endured. Especially when it came to death. It didn't do to fear death. To approach death like a child, kicking and screaming. "Did they not cover that?"
"They did," Cordi answered quickly. "Just I … I don't know if it's something I'm capable of."
His eyes lowered. She truly was an innocent. Unlike him. "I won't send you on any assassinations," he promised. "However, I can't promise a situation won't arise when you need to fight for your life."
She swallowed air silently, then after a moment whispered, "Understood." The silence remained between them as the waiter came and took their order.
Finally, he said aloud, "They say that a shinobi is one who endures. Meaning a shinobi who lives is one to be remembered."
She scoffed, "Endures? Endures what?"
"Everything," Gaara answered.
She rolled her eyes. "Well, they also say, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' That doesn't mean we should go out seeking death." She shook her head, saying, "Look I get it. It'd be the same if I joined the army in my home world. I just didn't think about it as a reality." She winced as she added, "I've never killed anything before, y'know, other than plants or bugs. I drove my car off the road once swerving to miss a beaver."
Gaara sighed, stating, "You have a tender heart, but as a shinobi, that can kill you."
She smirked, looking out the high window of the room to the blue sky above as she said, "Maybe I can pull a Naruto, and Talk no Jutsu my way out of shit."
Gaara gave a frowned. She'd joked about "Talk no Jutsu" before to him, and while originally he was curious until she explained it was what her world deemed Naruto's strongest plot device. It was unsettling to think of the conversation that changed him so completely was summed up as just a plot device. It had changed his life in impossible ways that nothing and no one had been able to do before. The term just made Gaara feel a little cheap, since she cited Gaara was the first "villain to be talk-no-jutsued." Gaara still didn't meet her gaze. While he understood her still relating to things in that way, it was still a little unnerving to hear her refer to them as no more than characters and plot devices.
"Right. Not funny," she grumbled. Then after another long silence, she sighed into her drink, "Well this is going well."
He looked her over, noting they'd said little to each other since leaving the hospital over an hour ago, then muttered, "Even my marriage meeting went better, and we were attacked by terrorists." He then sipped, his glance cutting over to her, seeing her nod.
"I heard something about that," she stated. She sipped her drink, then licked her lips, clearly thinking about something. "I don't know if it's true or not though. It doesn't make sense with what I know about you."
"What did you hear?"
"That you killed your ex-fiance when you found her with her lover," Cordi stated.
Gaara frowned indifferently, although inside his heart seized a little. That wasn't the official story exactly. He didn't usually mind hearing such a story circulated about him. Except when it was repeated by Cordelia, apparently. "That's not entirely accurate."
"Oh, Kankuro filled me in on the official story that a runaway ninja killed her, and you killed him, then mourned her death," she clarified. "Which I don't really buy anymore, either."
His gaze narrowed. So she knew the official story. What was there to question? Shikamaru came up with it. "What about that story is odd?" he asked.
She shrugged, stating, "Well, the person who'd told me they believed you'd killed her as well pointed out that her body was never recovered. Which is odd."
"Not with my sand burial."
She held up a finger, arguing, "But that would suggest you killed her, because why would you sand burial her if she was already dead?" He blinked, realizing no one had thought to pose that question to him. She continued, "The only explanation to her body missing is if you killed them both, which also doesn't make sense."
"Are you saying I should have dragged her body across the desert?"
She looked at him pointedly, and said, "It'd hardly be the first time. Lady Chiyo definitely comes to mind. And before you argue that she was just a medical ninja, I'll also note that I know she was the clan leader of a large clan in Suna. Also, if you loved her as much as the story needed to be plausible, you would have brought her body back, regardless." She was quiet a minute, and he couldn't believe she'd deduced that much. Finally, she added, "Another mentioned the runaway ninja in question was the woman's lover, and so they were both killed in your jealous rage. Which I already said doesn't make sense."
"It doesn't?" he asked.
She shook her head, "You didn't know her long enough to develop a deep enough attachment that would take offense to her being in love with someone else. Like most arranged marriages, I could see you going into it like a business transaction, as in not thinking the marriage would be based on love, but respect, and you're way too guarded to fall deeply in love in the couple hours you knew her. So, killing for that reason seems drastic." She pursed her lips looking at him, as if gauging his reaction to everything she knew.
Gaara's eyes narrowed, not out of anger, but surprise she'd deduced so much. Maybe she'd be a decent younin with such observational skills. He recalled her ability to predict people coupling, both with Kankuro and Fred and with Baki and Maki. He'd mentioned it to Kankuro a few days ago, and Kankuro, while surprised, deduced it was accurate. She at least had a sound understanding of how people thought or their drives.
They paused as the waiter dropped off their food. Cordi thanked the man, then began working with her chopsticks with some slightly hidden difficulty.
Gaara decided to press her on her previous assessment. "How do you know I don't fall in love quickly? From our example, we didn't exactly take our time yesterday."
She half scoffed, half sneered at the comment. "You are not in love with me," she stated stiffly, as if insinuating he was had insulted her intelligence.
He frowned. "You wouldn't classify last night as making love?"
She made a face, then said, "Not unless we're in love, which again, you are not."
He didn't understand the turn of phrase. As he understood it, love between a man and a woman was called making love or intimate love. But according to Cordi that wasn't making love, because they weren't in love? "That begs the question, what is love?"
She smirked with an odd chuckle, then she sang softly, "Baby, don't hurt me no more." When he only frowned at her, she waved him off, muttering, "Sorry. Popular song back home." She cleared her throat, then clarified, "What does the term love mean to me?"
He nodded.
"Do you mean in love or just love in general?" she asked.
He made a face, then asked, "Is there a difference?"
She nodded. "In church, we're taught there are eight types of love."
He sat up at that. "Eight?" He'd only ever heard of possibly three. But identifying them had been tricky, since they were all under the title of love.
She nodded. "Eros, Philia, Storge, Ludus, Mania, Pragma, Philautia, and Agape." She ticked them off with a finger each. She licked her lips as she sucked in a deep breath through her nose before she said, "In short, Eros is the sexual act of love. Philia is being a part of something, being the root of the word philosophy, meaning love of wisdom. Storge is the love between family and friends. Ludus is playful love, like flirting and the chemistry between couples. Mania is obsessive love. Pragma is enduring love. The type that pushes you to care for someone. Philautia is self-love. And Agape is love of humanity, the love we forgive from."
Her explanation was incredibly detailed, more detailed than he'd ever gotten in a book or when discussing the question with others. This wasn't the first time they'd talked about love, but this was the first time he'd realized how much more researched and defined love was in her world. Each of her terms, he'd never heard of, but he understood or was able to identify them with her definition.
"But that doesn't answer what being in love is…" she stated. She tilted her head as she added, "Dr. Suess has a famous quote that Ronnie always repeats: 'You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams.'" She made a face, looking up at the ceiling as she added, "But that always seemed like bullshit to me, because it entirely ignores unrequited love, which is still being in love. So how would I define being in love?"
She chewed on her cheek for a moment, then said, "Being in love is a feeling, a drive, to be with someone you find special. They're special, because it feels like a gravitational pull to you. You feel every type of love with them. You find them sexually attractive of course, while they also make you feel like a part of something bigger. You're comfortable with them, while they also make your stomach feel like butterflies. They make you feel good about yourself, while also making you nervous. You want to share everything with them. And it's truly in love when even if they didn't feel the same way, didn't see you as their special person, you would still want to be present to make sure they'd be ok. Even if it hurt you to stay, the pain of not being with them would be worse."
Like Shikamaru, Gaara filled in silently, recalling his conversation with the shadow ninja earlier.
She continued with an odd smile, "But if they do feel the same way, if you're their special person, too, in which their world revolves around, then it's heaven on earth."
That made so much more sense than anything he'd ever read about love. He'd heard of the butterflies, heard the beauty aspects of the feeling, heard of the physical attraction. But hearing it was gravity, that once you were in the vicinity of that person, it was a pull, constant and inevitable. That was something he'd understood. He'd felt a fragment of even. It explained the smiles he observed when people were in love. And the sudden absence of that person? To have that person ripped away. It was the Earth losing the sun, spinning off into space, untethered to anything except the lonely rock it was.
He closed his eyes, impressed with her assessment, and said, "You've given this a lot of thought."
She shrugged, stirring her food pointlessly while muttering, "I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic. I've fallen into my fair share of unrequited love." His gaze narrowed on her, but she sucked in a deep breath. "But it's how I know you are not in love," Cordi stated with finality. She scoffed as she said, "Definitely not with me. And it's how I can estimate you probably weren't with her either."
He bristled at her decisiveness on the matter. Although, he did sense some truth to what she said. He grimaced more than smiled around Cordi. Even though, he felt a pull towards her, the thought of her not being around didn't hurt him as much as granted him some relief. He was always nervous of saying the wrong thing around her. Kissing her was the only time she didn't expect him to talk, which was also a relief.
"So what do you suspect happened?" he offered. Her knowledge of love was far superior to his understanding, and maybe that was how she was able to see what drove people into the type of relationships that just seemed rife with difficulties.
She made a face, "Judging from what I know of you?"
He nodded. If she could figure out what had happened without his acknowledgement otherwise, she'd definitely make an astute shinobi. The skills she could train. Her observational instinct though would be immensely beneficial.
"I think you helped them fake their deaths and let them go," she answered finally. He raised his hairless eyebrows, as if pressing her to continue. "You aren't the type of man to force a woman to marry you if she doesn't want to. And if you killed the man she loved, even on the legal grounds of him being a runaway ninja, that marriage would be doomed from the start. But neither of you could escape it either, because it was arranged by the Council. You also don't kill unnecessarily anymore. You have a very high regard for people who are driven by love. You're a lot more likely to reward it than punish it.
"You'd have needed help smuggling them out, which at the time Shikamaru was engaged to your sister, so I'm also assuming he assisted at the border."
He closed his eyes, smiling and shaking his head slightly in disbelief. She'd figured it out completely.
"Plus, the person who told me she was the head of a clan, said her last name was Hoki, like the woman I met in your office the first day I worked for you. Assuming she's related, why would she be hanging out with you if you'd killed one of her own, or even left her dead in the field." Cordi looked up, then added, "Now that I think about it, she probably was in on it too." She smirked at him, waiting for his gaze to connect with hers again, and she asked, "So, how'd I do?"
"No comment."
She chuckled, then went back to eating, knowing she was right.
He dug into his own food, thinking over everything she'd said. But one thing she'd said hadn't let go of his thoughts. "You still haven't explained how you know I'm not in love with you."
She frowned, "I told you, I'm a hopeless romantic."
He shook his head. "No," he said, frowning as he realized he wasn't exactly sure how to phrase what he was asking. "I mean yesterday we clearly felt something. But how do you know that feeling isn't love?"
She narrowed her gaze, as if to say she had explained it. Then she said, "Because that's not how people fall in love."
"Then how do they fall in love?"
"I don't know," she grumbled. "It depends on the person. Some people hold back, waiting to feel safe before they fall in love, while others fall completely in love at first sight."
He scoffed, "I thought you said people don't fall in love that quick."
"One, you are the type that needs to feel safe first," Cordi said holding up a finger. "Two, Men don't fall in love with girls like me at first sight," she clarified. His brow furrowed. She grumbled, setting down her chopsticks, "I'm not the perfect, waifish fairytale princess that men fall in love with immediately." He frowned, unsure what she meant. "I'm the type of girl …" she paused, licking her lips unsure if she wanted to explain the prickly parts of her past. She bit her lip, then decided, Fuck it, he's already seen me naked. "If anything, I'm the evil witch men claim to have tamed before claiming their happily ever after with the princess. I'm the girl who's had guys lie about sexual exploits to better their reputations. The girl who's endured thirteen years of hatred, being called everything from monster to witch to slut and whore, through none of my own actions. It didn't matter what I did. I wore a crucifix, still do every day, and it didn't matter. I could have dressed up like a nun, and it wouldn't have mattered."
She held up a hand, stopping herself, blinking away the tear-filled rage he saw brewing in her eyes, and suddenly he understood a lot of why the topics she guarded about herself were guarded. She chewed her lip, then finished, "No one looks at the evil witch, and thinks, 'That's the love of my life.' No one. She's only ever something to be conquered."
He looked at her, really looked at her, and understood exactly what she'd been talking about. He hated knowing he'd made similar assumptions about her character in the past. He'd heard others in the Council make similar assumptions about her, mostly regarding her wardrobe.
"For people like us, it takes us time to feel real love. No man, not even you, actually especially not you, would fall in love with me so quickly." she stated with finality.
He pursed his lips, then said, "You sound very decided on that."
She frowned, then asked, "You want me to prove it? Answer this honestly. If I suddenly went home tomorrow, back to my home-world, would it hurt you? Would you miss me? Would you even notice I was gone?"
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "We have some interesting conversations."
She made a face that said he wasn't being honest deep down, and she said, "You and I both know I drive you up a wall when it comes to work. So, let me rephrase. Would you be thankful I was gone and out of your way?"
He stayed silent. They both knew the answer. Yes. Although, Gaara added, Then I could stop torturing myself, stop worrying about what I was saying or doing every five seconds.
"If you heard someone say something you knew was derogatory and false about me, would you be offended? Would you correct them?"
Both of them knew that answer too. No. He hadn't had an issue before with his ninjas and councilmembers assuming things about her sexually, and had even done so himself a little until Kankuro corrected him. He liked his answer even less now to that question. Especially now that he knew it was one of the tools her old world used to isolate her by.
She nodded, adding, "How about if I was sick, would you hold my hair back while I vomited in the toilet? Or if I was paralyzed from the neck down, would you clean the goop from my eyes? Without a thought."
No.
She held a hand up like that was all the proof she needed. He wasn't in love with her.
"So, what is it then?" he finally asked.
She sighed, shaking her head. "I won't deny that there is something. Chemistry. A spark." His gaze narrowed on that, as if it gave him something to think about. "I don't want to say lust, even though it's what it most closely resembles, barring whatever friendship we had prior. But still, it's definitely not love. A seed of love, maybe. But not actual love, so therefore you are not in love."
The silence between them grew until he whispered, "I'm not in love." It sounded more like a question than the statement it was.
"I don't think so."
Suddenly, that did give him a thought he didn't like. "Is that why I couldn't bring you pleasure last night?" Was it impossible for him to bring a woman that type of pleasure without some form of him being in love?
Cordi scoffed. "No." She then cleared her throat awkwardly, as if realizing she'd admitted to lying, and looked away as she said, "No, I went."
He looked at her self-consciously, like he didn't entirely believe that. But if she was going to lie to his face about it, he wasn't going to push it.
She scrunched her face oddly as she waved him off, and said, "Does it even matter?"
That was all he needed to know he had made the correct assumption. They were silent for a long time. Gaara dug into his food with a sigh, but he wasn't entirely hungry after her confirmation. He didn't know how Kankuro did it. Meet a woman, and a few hours later have her on the sexual brink until she caused an earthquake. That's what it really was. Even though he'd proven Matsuri and the Council wrong, at least to himself, he still wasn't any good at the act itself. He realized that that might have been his only shot at having sex. His sand had started to get erratic while it was holding her down last night, and he was thankful she didn't panic, and instead she was able to turn off his sand, but that wasn't something most women would or could do when it came to him. On top of that, he'd performed so poorly. He could feel the mortification clawing at him as he imagined what he must have looked like pounding into her, especially after he was done, and he was just trying to bring her to a brink she'd never go to with him. His gaze awkward, but unwavering as he prodded at her with the grace of an animal. Hell, she'd faked climaxing just to get him off her. No, he wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to have sex with him again.
After a while, she admitted, "Fine, I didn't go. Why is it such a big deal?"
He licked his lips, then said, "Kankuro would have been able to do it. He seems to have a talent to do it for any woman." He'd never been jealous of his brother. Not really. Except now that Kankuro had impregnated Matsuri, and had a famous record of always pleasuring a woman in bed. Now that he'd experienced sex, yes he was jealous of his brother's talent.
Cordi made a disgusted face, then said, "I'd never have sex with Kankuro. Especially not to just get off." She suppressed a shiver as she stated, "That'd just be wrong on so many levels." The silence hung between them for another long moment. Finally she let out a long breath and said, "Does it really bother you?"
He refused to look at her.
"Look, it was my first time," Cordi stated. "It's not like I had a lot of expectations going into it."
"Yet, I still didn't meet them," he mumbled to himself.
Cordi frowned. "I'm trying to say it's not your fault. You can't help that the process felt like you were poking my belly button from the inside, which is inherently awkward."
He grimaced at her description. It felt like a nail in the coffin for his sex life, however short lived.
"Plus, most women don't have a good first time," Cordi added. "Actually, you deserve a kudos for not hurting me. Both Lynne and Ronnie bled their first times because the guys weren't as gentle."
He frowned, remembering he had read something about a woman bleeding when she lost her virginity. Something about rupturing the hymen. Kankuro had called it cherry popping. Suddenly he worried if he'd been in her correctly. He hadn't seen blood on the sheets, but he had figured she'd at least have some evidence of it only she saw. "Did I not pop it?" he asked clarifyingly. It would confirm he'd done it wrong.
Cordi rolled her eyes. "That's not how the hymen works," she sighed, as if reading his mind. She shook her head, looking at the table, stating, "I don't know why guys think of it like saran wrap. If it was like that, women wouldn't have their periods until after they had sex. It's not how that works."
He frowned. He knew she was referring to the time of the month when women were a bit moodier than usual, but he didn't quite understand what that had to do with the hymen. As far as he understood it, women were just more hormonal then. "How what works?"
"Periods," Cordi clarified. "If hymens worked like men thought, then the blood would just stay in the vagina and coagulate until she had sex for the first time. So, thank god it doesn't work like that."
Gaara looked at her horrified, his chopsticks abandoned on the table. "What blood?"
Cordi frowned like he should have known what she was talking about. "Period blood." When he only looked at her unsettled, she clarified, "You do know periods are when a woman bleeds once a month for a week because she didn't get pregnant."
Gaara balked at her. He couldn't wrap his head around it. Finally, he composed himself enough to say, "You're joking." It was the only explanation he could think of. She was pulling his leg.
She shook her head, clearly a little worried he didn't know about it. "No. It's a thing. You do know how reproduction works, right?"
He blushed as he answered, "I thought so." She waved at him to explain, and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he clarified, "A man and woman have sex. Sperm meets egg, and then a baby grows from that."
Cordi turned her hands up, licking her lips, then stated, "Missing a few steps, but yeah." She scratched at her lower lip, stating, "It's kind of problematic you don't know that."
Gaara pursed his lips, then asked, "What steps?"
"Well, the timing mostly. See, a woman's uterus works by time. It's cyclical," she stated. She then explained the cycle to him, and he realized what Kankuro had meant all those years ago by not talking to Temari about it. When Kankuro had handed him that book, he would not have had the emotional fortitude to understand the horrors women found normal. What was more unsettling was she continued to eat through her explanation, as if what she was discussing wouldn't turn her stomach. He realized she could definitely handle the horrors of being a ninja. She wasn't nearly as tender-hearted as he thought. She finished by saying, "Although, most guys just know about the bleeding part of the woman's cycle, and then wonder why we're being crabby when really we're in physical pain and no longer have the patience to think for them."
He didn't know how to respond to that, but the idea of eating didn't seem appealing if it wasn't for the fact it was already almost two, and they hadn't had breakfast. And while the full topic had been off-putting, he did appreciate knowing it now. So, he sipped on his drink, and they sat in silence for a while. She finished her plate, and Gaara picked at his food a little bit. They both skirted glances at each other, but didn't say anything. It had become incredibly awkward, and Gaara hated it.
This wasn't like the marriage meeting or any of his dates with Matsuri, where he was trying to make a good impression and be the best version of himself. But it was still awkward, mostly because she knew everything about him now, especially his short-comings. He didn't think there was any rebounding from that. The best version of himself would not be enough to distract someone who knew the whole, ugly truth about him.
"Honestly," she finally said with a wince as she put her chopsticks down, "You said you went early, so I think if you'd held it off, I would have gone too. Because I lost it after your fervor dropped. Y'know?"
Gaara froze, his drink in front of his mouth as he stared at her with astonishment in his eyes. He wasn't sure if the astonishment was that she'd just outright proclaim something like that in public, or if it was that she said he could have attained it. He closed his eyes, telling himself, That doesn't mean it will happen again, as he set down his glass. "I guess we'll never know," he grumbled, setting his jaw.
She scoffed. "Why do you say that?" She shrugged, adding, "Honestly, I think me not going has caused some unnecessary awkward bubble between us, that we should pop."
"And how do you propose we do that?"
She pursed her lips pensively, then stated, "I think the only way is to do it until we get it right." She blushed hard, not believing she was proposing this. "God, that's so forward," she grumbled, looking away. She hid her face behind her hand as she rubbed her brow muttering, "You probably think I sound like a whore."
Gaara shook his head. "I don't think that?"
"You don't?"
"I think you're a young woman who's going through a difficult few days, and needs a distraction." She winced as if the comment had pained her, and he sucked in his breath. "I don't mean …" he cursed at himself mentally, realizing he insinuated he did think she was a whore, "I mean I don't think it's the distraction you usually turn to, but it was the one available," he added, trying to remedy his answer. He didn't feel successful, so he hung his head. "What I mean is we both know last night was a fluke," he stated. Cordi looked a little offended by his assessment, but she hid it by looking away.
It was that time, the waiter came back and offered them the check, which Gaara paid immediately, even though Cordi held up her hand offering to pay her half. As soon as the waiter left, Cordi grumbled, "You didn't have to pay for me."
"It's fine," he grumbled, putting his wallet back. He settled back in his seat, crossing his arms and clarified, "As I was saying, if we weren't here under the circumstances we are, if we were still in Suna, we would have never done it." He shrugged, refusing to make eye-contact as he grumbled, "Maybe we would have kissed again, but we wouldn't have gone that far. I know I wasn't expecting us to. Neither of us is the type to have sex on a whim. And definitely not just with anyone."
Cordi licked her lips, nodding. "Maybe." She moved her lips without saying anything, then added, "But now that we have, and we're essentially alone here, what's stopping us from trying again until we get it right?"
His astonishment returned as his gaze shot up to hers. "You mean that?" he rasped.
She turned her hands out in a half shrug, stating, "I mean firstly, you're not just a distraction to me. You're much more than that. And what we did might've been a fluke, but it definitely wasn't a mistake." She punctuated her statement by giving him a pointed look, then sliding out of her chair and walking out. "Secondly, here, no one cares what we do."
He was silent for a while as he let it sink in, following her out of the restaurant onto the street. "So, you're saying you want us to have sex again," he said quietly, figuring it was best to be clear.
"With the awkward bubble it's created between us, I think we have to," Cordi stated with a stiff nod. "Plus, Fred mentioned something about ya'll not being circumcised, and I'm a little cur-ah!" She was cut off by Gaara yanking her into a nearby alleyway and attacking her mouth with kisses. She squeaked as his tongue invaded her mouth, and his knees spread her legs apart, pinning her to the wood and stucco wall. As his hands began to explore her body, she pushed him away slightly, hissing, "Not in broad daylight. At the hotel."
"Right," he breathed, trying to calm his giddy excitement. His sex-life wasn't over already. She wanted him again. He held her there as he realized, "I think I need to be in control of how we play this out. It'll mean more to me if I can get you off myself."
She breathed hard against him, then nodded. "You can have your way with me."
He gave a solid nod, then walked out, gesturing her to walk next to him as she fixed herself. It was a thirty-minute walk, and they didn't say a word after that kiss.
