Cosy Christmas

Putting the finishing touches to the Christmas tree shaped pancakes arranged decoratively on the plate on my kitchen counter, I forced my hands to brush down the front of my apron and step back. Blowing a bang out of my face I looked at the clock again. 9.58am, Sonic will be here in two minutes. I looked around my kitchen wondering just why I was worrying about my neighbour coming to spend Christmas day with me. Aside from the pain lancing around my heart from the still raw grief of losing my mother, spending such an important day of the year with someone I really don't know all that well is a little bit terrifying. Talk about being thrown in the deep end for a first date!

And then I giggled.

A date with my famous neighbour, Sonic the Hedgehog.

I've noticed him a lot, aside from the fact he's Mobius' hero and the fastest thing alive; he's also kind, funny and would stop to help anyone. I wonder if part of the reason he lives here is that the people who live around here don't see him as anything but a normal guy. Like I do. Not to say I'm not grateful for all that he's done to make sure people are safe, but I'm more intrigued by the guy beneath of all that hero worship the tabloids throw at him. And his charming, heart-warming gift he made me has just intrigued me even more.

Oh, who am I kidding, he makes my heart race and my senses disappear. I'm not stupid, I know we have a connection. I noticed it almost straight away when we first met. But I haven't pursued it and neither has he; until now. I wanted to get used to my new home, the new area, the new me without worrying about another person to add to all of that baggage I carry around. But his sincere offer to spend Christmas with me was an instant yes, one I would have normally mentally picked apart and over analysed and panicked over. But not this time. This time I could hear my mother's voice in my head telling me to go for it.

And so, I have.

Glancing at the clock I saw it read 10.01am, my thoughts swift and true. Untying my apron, I placed it back on the hook by the kitchen door, brushing down my fluffy pyjamas and walked into the living room to light my favourite candle. Before I could pick up the lighter though there was a strong knock at my door. Gasping I jumped from the candle and stared at it, my heart thumping hard in my chest. What if it's not as special as he's used to? What if I inadvertently bring the mood down with my sudden tearful moments? What I'm not fun enough? My mind was spinning out of control, my anxiety making my hands shake as I reached out and pulled open the door to reveal a nervous looking Sonic.

And just like that, seeing his nerves, and mine settled instantly. The panic subsiding as I remembered his bumbling offer to spend the day together, his awareness of our attraction a reassurance that I wasn't alone if his clumsiness around me is anything to go by.

"Merry Christmas, Sonic," I smiled, opening the door wider and inviting him inside.

The slight blush on his cheeks made me want to giggle again, but I held it back.

"Merry Christmas, Ames. Ugh, this is for you. My friend Rouge insisted I should bring it," he raced out, all but thrusting a bottle of wine at me that I took quickly, kicking the door closed with my slippered foot. He tucked his hand behind his head, glancing at the floor before looking back up at me. For such a cocky and confident hedgehog with everyone else, he sure is unsure around me. I couldn't help myself, I reached out and rested a hand on his arm, squeezing slightly in the hopes he would relax just a little. Poor guy looked ready to jump out of his fur. He took a deep breath at my touch and loosened a little. "I won't be offended if you don't like it, but I wouldn't tell Rouge as it's from her personal collection. But she said it might give me an edge, offset my nerves."

I laughed as I glanced down at the bottle, pleased he had a friend looking out for him. "Thank you, I'll be sure to open it and try it after dinner," I smiled as I turned away, gesturing to the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I made cinnamon pancakes for breakfast."

I heard him take a big inhale as we walked up to the kitchen counter to admire my pancakes. "Wow, they look great!" Sonic grinned at me, his eyes lighting up like a little kid at, well, Christmas! I picked up the plate with the large stack of pancakes and met him at the table. We wasted no time in collecting some and pouring whatever syrup and fruit on them we wanted. The movements between us seamless and natural as we tucked in. Sonics groan of delight made me giggle, which just made him do it again. "These are great, Ames. Best I've ever had!" he reiterated as he shoved another large mouthful in.

Laughing behind my hand I went back to my own, much smaller stack and enjoyed the peaceful silence between us while we ate our breakfast. Christmas music was floating in from the living room, a more relaxed playlist compared to the hyper cheesy stuff I used to love listening to for weeks before the big day. This music I could cope with, not finding it as jarring or as big a trigger as other music.

At some point I got us both a glass of warm milk to wash down our pancakes, the satisfying fullness of a good meal making me feel relaxed and content. Sonic stayed in the kitchen with me while I started to clean up, his insistence to help dry the dishes enough to make me glance at him in surprise. He didn't look very impressed when I said I wasn't used to getting help for something as simple as what he was offering. My previous boyfriend so quick to disappear out of the room the second the clear up started. Having Sonic next to me, brushing arms with me and stealing little side glances when he thought I wasn't looking just added to the large warm feeling in my chest.

It's been a long time since I had that warm, happy feeling where my broken heart resides. Especially on today of all days.

We cleared up in companionable silence, except for me occasionally humming along to the music drifting through the door. Before long we were finished and taking a seat on my couch in front of my crackling log fire, Sonic's body language back to being more tense and rigid then before. I sat facing him, watching him gaze at the fire lost in his own world for a second. Eventually I reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder, tapping to get his attention.

Startled he looked at me in surprise. "Sonic you don't need to be so tense around me. I promise I'm just a regular girl, I'm not going to see you spending your Christmas Day with me as a marriage proposal, I promise." I lightly quipped, trying to rouse a smile from him. He gave me a slight quirk to his lips, but it wasn't the full smile I wanted to see.

"Sorry Ames, it's not you. Well, I guess it is. I don't know if you've noticed, but I make a fool of myself around you quite a lot. Guess I'm waiting for that moment I do something stupid and you realise I'm not anything special and kick me out." Sonic blew out a breath, his brows furrowing again as he shook his head mumbling to himself. "Where did my filter go?" Looking at me curiously Sonic tapped his fingers on his knee where he was resting his arm. "What is it about you that makes me feel like I'm unravelling and say exactly what pops into my head?"

Holding back my smile I reached out to take his drumming hand and held it lightly on the couch between us. "I'm just special I guess," I winked, trying to lighten the mood again. "Honestly though, I have never looked at you as anything but a normal guy. So, you can run at the speed of sound? So, what! That's not what intrigues me about you. And I think your clumsiness around me is sweet. I don't need a hero Sonic. But I could always use a friend?" I squeezed his hand lightly and willed myself to stay relaxed. The conversation had taken a slight dramatic turn I wasn't expecting and I have enough of that in my memories to last me a lifetime.

Sonic turned to mimic how I was sitting on the sofa, but his arm thrown over the back, his hand resting near my shoulder. On one long exhale of breath, he released all the tension from his body and relaxed alongside me. I felt a loosening in my chest I didn't realise was tight until he did. I felt like we were coming to an even ground between us.

"I'll be whatever you want and need me to be," he murmured, his fingers playing with the ends of my hair where it rested on my shoulder. It sent tingles across my scalp, down my neck and across my shoulders, trickling along my arms. I squeezed his fingers again involuntarily from the shock to my nerves. This was the Sonic I wanted to be around for the day. The one I knew would take my silence for what it was and just be there like he said he would. I hadn't realised how much I was dreading being along on such a bittersweet day until I having my funny, attractive neighbour was here to spend it with me.

So much so that before I knew what I was doing, I was closing the distance between us and pressing my lips to his, shocking us both for a second. The contact with his warm lips was a brisk wake up call to my awareness and I started to pull away almost straight away. But Sonic seemed to have come to his wits again just as fast as he cupped the back of my head to keep me close and kiss me deeper. I gasped against him; all my senses being bombarded by everything about him. How he smelled like fresh air, tasted like cinnamon and made me feel so protected and safe in his arms I melted against him on a sigh.

When we pulled apart both breathing heavily, I rested my head against his, my eyes hooded and dazed as the world came back from its dizzying spin.

Neither of us said a word as Sonic wrapped an arm around me and pulled me in close to snuggle up with him. The same spot we spent most of the day. Only getting up to refill the snacks, drinks and throw logs onto the fire. We watched old movies and new movies. I dozed off on him and he stretched out and napped on me. He held me when I cried for no apparent reason, not asking if I was OK, but accepting my grief for what it was. He made me laugh and not feel guilty for it. It was the best; non-traditional Christmas I could have asked for. And his cookies thankfully tasted better than they looked!

By the evening, when we were both full from eating too much bad food, drinking too much hot chocolate for him and wine for me, I sat back on the couch and watched the snow fall outside the window. Sonic snoring lightly in my lap again, the movie switched off as I sat bathed in the silence aside from the fire down to embers in the hearth. I listened to the stillness that encompasses the world on Christmas Day, feeling the very familiar pain nestle itself in my chest as a tear slipped down my cheek.

But this time there was a warmth pushing in to sooth the raw edge of the pain. It made me relax back into the cushions and see my mother's face in my mind with love and happiness. I knew this one day was not going to heal me. It wasn't going to suddenly make future Christmases more bearable because I have a good memory to ride alongside the bad. But it was a start. A step forward on the very long road ahead of me to come to an understanding with my grief.

And maybe, I thought as I looked down at Sonic and brushed my hand lightly over his head, I would have someone to share all of that with.

"Merry Christmas, Sonic," I whispered, my fingers softly brushing his ear. "Thank you for giving me a little bit of Christmas magic again."