We need more Sirius Black chaos. Because everyone knows that if you add some Sirius Black chaos to some Luna Lovegood weirdness and mix it around with some Harry Potter randomness you get…

I do not own Harry Potter

The next day in potions they were working on antidotes when the door was open to reveal a breathless Colin Creevey who walked up to the potion master's desk.

"Yes?" Snape snipped curtly.

"Sir, they want me to take Harry Potter upstairs." Colin said.

"They can wait until the end of the lesson." Snape dismissed.

"Sir, they said he was to go now." Collin persisted.

"Very well," Snape gave up after a moment's thought, "Potter, when you get back, we will test your potion."

"He's supposed to take his things with him." Colin interrupted again, much to the potion master's displeasure.

"Very well, get out of my sight."

After five minutes, Colin had led Kino down to the room the ceremony would be taking place. Kino entered to see Cedric, Victor, Fleur, a photographer, a reporter, Bagman, Ollivander, and the heads of the schools.

Kino was wary about showing the Elder Wand to Ollivander, but the fact was, his phoenix core wand didn't work for him anymore. Or rather, it could, but it didn't work nearly as well, and that would be a dead giveaway.

Then again this could well be an opportunity to get Ollivander to join their poker games. They could meet up on Hogsmeade weekends, that would certainly be entertaining. Two mortals and two gods walk into a bar…he wasn't quite sure how to end that joke.

"Mademoiselle Delacour, if you would step forward first please." The wandmaker instructed.

She swept over to him gracefully and handed him her wand.

"Hmm…nine and a half inches…inflexible rosewood and contains…dear me! The hair off the head of a veela."

"Yes, it wuz my grandmuzzer's." Fleur agreed.

"Very well, Orchideous!" a flower appeared from the tip of the wand, then he handed both the flower and the wand back to Fleur, "Mister Diggory, you next, please."

Cedric stepped forwards and handed over his wand,

"It's in fine condition." Ollivander observed, impressed by the state it was in.

"I polished it last night, sir." Cedric said proudly.

"I remember this wand very well." Ollivander agreed wistfully, "It contains a tail hair from a particularly fine male unicorn. Made out of springy ash. All in fine working condition." Ollivander gave it a wave and made smoke rings fly across the room, "Mister Krum next, if you please."

Krum walked over and handed him his wand.

"A Gregorovitch creation, if I'm not mistaken." Ollivander observed, "Ten and a half inches, quite rigid, made of hornbeam and dragon heartstring. Avis!" Ollivander exclaimed suddenly, causing something like a 'bang' to be heard as a bunch of birds shot out of the tip of the wand. Giving a nod, Ollivander handed it back to Krum, then turned to Kino.

"Mister Potter, it's your turn, I believe."
Kino gave a nod, but paused,
"I got this wand from an old friend of mine, it's not the one I got from your shop. I'm afraid that one doesn't work for me anymore for some reason. I'm sorry if you feel disappointed."
Ollivander blinked,

"It doesn't work for you anymore? How curious…Very well, let me have a look." He took the wand in his hands and examined it. He frowned momentarily, then his face went deathly white. Dumbledore's face immediately twisted in concern,

"Are you alright, Garrick?"

Ollivander said nothing for the longest time, and Kino realized they were drawing attention. Unnoticed by those in the room, seeing as all their attention was focused on Ollivander, his green eyes began to glow. Ollivander spoke,

"I'm fine. It's just…the craftsmanship! Where did you get this wand, Mister Potter? If I might so inquire, I don't recognise the work…it seems rather taken with you. Odd, considering the materials…" Ollivander blinked, realizing it hadn't really been him speaking, but rather something else using his mouth.

"I…er, well anyone in Gryffindor could tell you that Luna and I like to play poker every now and then. Not for money or anything. One of my friends there offered to make me a wand and that's the one he made me."

"I…see…" Ollivander looked at the wand with awe.

Kino couldn't help but smile a bit in amusement,

"You could join us if you'd like."

That caused the old wandmaker's head to snap up at him suddenly.

"This Hogsmeade weekend, this weekend, actually, Luna and I were going to meet up with our group at the Cat's Eye Café." Kino said easily, "You could come if you want. You know how to play poker?"

"Perhaps we should move on?" Bagman interrupted.

"Yes…yes, of course," Ollivander agreed, "I would very much like to meet up then. Let's test this then, shall we?" with a wave of Kino's wand a fountain of wine came out from the end.

"Beautiful." Ollivander murmured, "Simply beautiful." He handed the wand back to Kino who took it gracefully and noted that the suspicion that had momentarily been cast on him was now gone.

"Gambling, Harry?" The headmaster raised an eyebrow.

Kino offered him a sheepish shrug,

"Not for money." He defended again.

There were a couple of amused looks from the other champions aimed at him as he smiled innocently. Somehow his poker prank had turned into a thing. Who'd have thought it?

The weekend came and Kino was left trying to remember what he'd done next all those years ago, the first time around. He sat on his bed, cross-legged with his eyes scrunched closed.

"Harry?" Ron's voice broke him from his trance and nearly caused him to jump.

"Geeze, you scared me half to death! And he doesn't want to see my face until tomorrow at four!" Kino recalled.

Ron gave him a doubtful look. He and Hermione had been trying to drag out of Kino who the being in the black cloak 'really was.' But Kino had so far, only shot them confused looks and said,

"I already introduced you guys, he's Death, remember?" And that had been the end of the discussion.

Fred and George thought it had been absolutely hilarious and had given him props for a prank well done. Kino had given them both a grin in turn. It might have even been one worthy of the Marauders…Marauders…Kino's eyes went wide,

"That's what I forgot!" he suddenly exclaimed.

He had written to Sirius the first time around by now to update him on what was going on.

Dear Snuffles,

Someone's trying to kill me again. I know that's not really all that surprising, considering my last three years. I actually think I know who's doing it this time, but I don't have any proof and no one seems to care so…I'll just role with it, I guess.

I made a new friend. She's in Ravenclaw and she's quite interesting to be around. She has a very unique perspective on certain things. Her name's Luna and we're going to Hogsmeade together tomorrow to meet up with Mister Ollivander and Death for a poker tournament. Feel free to swing by at around four tomorrow at the Cat's Eye Café. As you can probably see, I sent you a potion of sorts that should help you conceal your identity. Once you drink it, no one will know it's you. The only downside is that you have to drink the antidote in order to reverse the effects. It's my own unique invention and it took forever to create so you'd better be grateful. The silver vial is the stuff you want to drink to disguise yourself, and the dark blue one is the antidote. Don't drink all of it at once, it's pretty powerful. Just one sip is all you need of each.

Have fun.

Your godson,

Harry.

Sirius gave the note an odd look as he sat beside a tree in the middle of nowhere. He opened up the box containing the two vials of potion. Well, he thought to himself. It certainly wouldn't hurt to try, right?
He uncorked the silver vial and took a sip. He was surprised at the taste. It wasn't horrible like most potions he'd taken in the past. This one tasted a bit like grapefruit candy or something along those lines.

He gave a bit of a shudder. His eyes felt itchy and his nose twitched. He closed his eyes, then let out a sneeze.

When he opened his eyes again, he noticed that his skin was far more than. Not an unhealthy pale as it had been before.

He opened up his bag and fished out a mirror, an enchanted one, though it could still do the job of an ordinary one. The man in the mirror did not look like him. His eyes had changed color to a deep, chocolaty brown and his hair had turned blond, giving him a sort of surfer look about him.

He'd have to test out exactly how long it lasted, though Harry had written that it would last until he took the antidote, he wanted to make sure.

He looked back down at the letter oddly,

"Did he say he was playing poker with Death?" he wondered out loud, thinking that maybe his godson had lost his mind.

No one answered him.

Poseidon had, in legends, been the one to create horses. Due to this accomplishment, he was thus named as the god of horses.

Kino had decided, after a read of the Quibbler, and having talked to Luna Lovegood about crumble-horned snorkack, that he would create one.

So then, because he had created a snorkack, did that make him the god of crumple-horned snorkacks? It was something he'd pondered on when he released a heard of them into Hogwarts school during the feast that evening.

Several of them poured into the great hall, causing Luna to gasp out with astonishment,

"Crumple-horned snorkacks!" she exclaimed, "Daddy was right, they do exist!"
When several approached Kino and lowered their heads, he realized that his ponderings really did have merit.

"Are they bowing to you?" Hermione sputtered, now seeing proof that Luna's ramblings might have actually had some sort of truth behind them.

"Well, I never claimed that I wasn't the god of crumple-horned snorkacks." Kino shrugged his shoulders, as though the whole thing made complete sense and nothing about this situation was unusual at all.

"You're the god of crumple-horned snorkacks?" Luna looked at Kino wide-eyed, and she most certainly believed him too, of that Kino was certain.

"Why else do you think they're here?" Kino grinned and Hermione shot him a disapproving look.

"Luna, he's lying, he's not the god of crumple-horned snorkacks."

Kino couldn't help his lips twitch upwards,

"I never claimed I was a god." Kino said smoothly, "However, if your mind isn't flexible enough to even ponder on the existence of gods, then you'll never be able to figure out the truth. I'm quite certain that Luna already has it all figured out. He looked at the blond-haired girl who was still looking at him wide-eyed, as though all the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place.

"Free will." She spoke, "That's it, isn't it?"

Kino put a finger to his lips,

"Shh, that's a secret, Luna."

"They'll never figure it out." Luna said, looking over at Hermione, "You've already told them, after all."
Kino smiled,

"I did, didn't I?"

"What?" Hermione asked frustrated, wondering what exactly the two of them were hiding.

Ron looked pretty lost himself,

"Free will? You mean like the book?"

That caught Hermione's attention,

"Book?"

Ron rolled his eyes,

"Figured that was the word you picked up on. It's in the book, Tales of Beedle the Bard." Ron said, "They're fictional, you know, everyone knows them."
"Well, not me." Hermione frowned.

"Well, you know," Ron squirmed uncomfortably, "They're something people read to their kids. One of the stories in the book is called the Three Trials of Kino."

Kino listened curiously, he'd heard the story before a few times, or he from the him in the past who would hear them in his future…being a god of time was weird. Nothing was linear anymore. But, this wasn't a story that had existed in the previous timeline, it seemed to have replaced

"And what does that have to do with Harry?" Hermione asked impatiently.

"I'm getting there." Ron said defensively, "In the story, the gods are all afraid of death after he takes one of their lives. They realize that even they can't escape him, so he must be the most powerful god. So, the gods began a rebellion to destroy Death. Instead, Death showed them a world where nothing died, and they all realized that no one would be able to survive in a world like that, where the grass could never die, or none of the animals could die, where no one could ever eat or anything." Ron shrugged, "So, Death came up with a solution, he designed three items, the Elder Wand, the Invisibility cloak, and the Resurrection Stone. Death has three aspects to it, and each item was an embodiment of Death's three aspects. Death said that if a person could master all three artifacts that that person would become his master. All the gods scrambled to try to master each item, but were unable to. Then, they decided that if none of them could master the artifacts, that they ought to see if maybe a hero of earth could. So, Death's artifacts were sent to earth.

They landed in the possession of three brothers first. The wand was passed through the generations by the killing of one man to the next. The resurrection stone was shared with friends, then stolen through envy. And the cloak was inherited through a single-family line, when one day, it fell into the hands of a young boy, an orphan and the last of his family line. They never say his name in the story." Ron shrugged his shoulders, "But before the boy was born there was a prophecy made about his one day defeating a wizard who had split his soul in order to fly from death. The dark wizard lives in the shadows for years, then resurfaces when the boy is older and has had time to learn magic from two wise wizards. One of these wise wizards discovers the resurrection stone and tries to use it to see his departed sister, only for the object to kill him, but he passes it to the boy, believing that he will be able to uncover its secrets. The other wise teacher is murdered by the dark wizard, and when the boy finally defeats his enemy in a dual, he gains the very last artifact and earns the title of Death's master." Ron finished the story hesitantly, "The gods then honour him with a name, Kino. The god of Free Will. You know, since he was tied down by a prophecy that killed all the ones he loved, he wanted to make sure that people could make their own decisions. It's said that the moment he became a god was the moment everything started, that he created the past and present and future. So, he's sort of…timeless. People have just referred to him as 'Free Will' though."

Luna gave a nod,

"God of Free Will, Time, and Human Spirit."

Hermione hesitated, realizing the peculiar parallels between Kino and 'Harry Potter.' Gods didn't exist, of that she was certain. She looked at Kino with a frown on her face,

"You aren't seriously trying to get people to believe you are a god, are you?"

Kino's lips twitched,

"I'm not trying to claim anything of the sort. I was raised in the non-magical world, remember? I grew up with tales of Sleeping Beauty and Little Red Ridding Hood. I don't think I've ever heard the Story of Free Will before today."

Hermione's lips thinned, realizing this was quite true and that it could all just be a coincidence. The only problem was, Harry, in her mind, had been acting so peculiar as of late. Harry had never been one for pranks, so the sudden change was rather bizarre.

She eyed him suspiciously before looking down at a Snorkack that was nuzzling up against her leg. Where on earth did Harry manage to find a heard of crumple-horned snorkacks anyways?

The other schools and the authorities sitting over at the teachers' table were baffled just trying to figure out how they had gotten into the school at all.