The biggest problem with the dorm room was its distinct lack of seating. Naegi hadn't been able to figure out why he'd been given a table and desk, but no chairs. It seemed like a strange distribution of furniture.
Togami clearly noticed it too, pausing for a long moment at the bookcase as he surveyed the lack of options. If he wanted to talk, like he'd said he did, there was really only one choice.
He strode over and sat at the foot of the bed, as poised as if it were a throne. Naegi had to suppress a slightly envious sigh at the other boy's complete confidence. He was nowhere near as assured, feeling a blush color his cheeks as he sat on the bed beside Togami. He had to struggle not to think about how he'd imagined Togami here, the daydreams so vivid they left ghostly sensations shivering on his skin.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Naegi asked to distract himself, when Togami didn't seem to want to start the conversation.
Togami glanced over at him, pressure sizzling in the air between them as their gazes met – and then Togami's eyes slid past him to the wall beyond, his face morphing into a scowl.
"I want to be sure that you don't get any ideas about the mistake that happened yesterday."
Oh.
The bottom of Naegi's chest plummeted down, leaving a hollow space where his heart hung frozen mid-beat. That – that was not what he'd thought Togami had come to say.
Had he really misjudged that badly? He'd be the first to admit he couldn't always read people's intentions, but he'd honestly thought there had been something between the two of them, something more than just attraction. Had it all been wishful thinking?
It must have been. There was no trace of the warmth he'd thought he'd seen yesterday in the icy mask of the boy beside him now. No wonder Togami had been avoiding him all day.
"Okay." Naegi hoped his voice didn't sound as forlorn to Togami as it did in his own ears. "You don't want it to lead to anything. I understand."
"Lead to anything?" Togami's scornful laugh sliced through Naegi like a knife. "I would prefer not to acknowledge that it happened at all."
The hurt shouldn't have been unexpected. Naegi knew what Togami was like. He should have seen this coming, shouldn't have been shocked, and the tears prickling at the edges of his eyes had no business being there.
"I understand," Naegi repeated, proud that he managed to say it without his voice cracking. "You don't have to say it like that."
"I want to be sure you haven't gotten it in your head that this is some grand romance, and that you don't try to gossip about it with your little friends." The acid in Togami's words could bite through solid steel.
"Well, I get it. And I won't tell anyone."
"Good." An extra edge of cruelty curled onto Togami's lips. "Maybe it will free up enough of your brainpower for you to be serious and think about where you are."
Naegi frowned. He didn't think Togami could mean anything as obvious as his room or Hope's Peak. "What, you mean the killing game?"
"What else? In case you've forgotten, the game can only have one winner. The rest of you won't make it out alive."
That should have cut deeper than ever, hearing someone he liked speak so callously of letting all their friends die – but past that, anger came bubbling up, clearing a path through the hurt in his head for thoughts to flow more sensibly.
"I don't believe that," Naegi said. "I think there's a way we can all make it out alive. We just have to trust each other and keep our faith in our friends, and no one else will have to die."
"Really? And how did that work out in the last two trials?" Togami countered. "Remind me what your trust in Maizono got you."
Naegi glared at him. "Leave her out of this."
"Why should I? She understood. She might not have played the game well, but she knew she was a player in it."
"She didn't have to be. None of us have to be," Naegi insisted, wishing he knew how to make Togami see it. "There'll be a way out for us, if we just work together and refuse to give in."
"That's the sort of thinking that will get you killed," Togami said.
"Well, you're the one who said the rest of us wouldn't make it out alive," Naegi said, throwing Togami's words back in his face like they were arguing in a trial.
Togami's lips tightened. "You won't. I'm going to win this game, and no meaningless connection is going to stand in my way."
Connection? That sounded like an odd word for Togami to choose. Naegi frowned, ideas beginning to spin into new configurations in his head as he considered it.
"So that's why you ignored me all day and came here tonight?"
"Obviously."
Naegi eyed him for a moment to make sure, then let the contradiction fly. "But if it's meaningless, why do you care if I tell anyone?"
"I – what?" Togami blinked, mask of composure ruffled for an instant.
"If it's meaningless, other people knowing wouldn't matter," Naegi said. "Not if you think we're all going to end up dead. Actually, if everyone knew, they'd think you had a weakness when you really didn't. You'd be in a much better position then – if it really were meaningless."
The barest hint of a flinch crossed Togami's face. "Your interpretation is entirely wrong –"
"No. It isn't." Naegi was sure of it now. "You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by letting people believe something that isn't true. The only way it would make sense for you to come here after curfew and tell me to keep everything a secret is if you had something to hide." Naegi couldn't help smiling a little. "You do feel a connection to me, and it isn't meaningless."
He could see it shake Togami, just like he'd been shaken in the second trial. Satisfaction thrummed through Naegi at that, seeing the cracks in the heir's perfect poise.
Of course, it might not have been the best idea to do that now. He'd automatically fallen into the logical patterns he used in the trials, but those weren't really appropriate for normal conversations. Arguing couldn't be a very good way to get Togami to admit to feeling a connection – it would probably just annoy him. Someone so tightly controlled probably hated to have another person argue him into a corner. He could feel the weight of Togami's eyes focusing in on him, sparking with unreadable emotion, probably preparing to storm out –
Togami lunged forward and crushed his mouth to Naegi's. The force of it knocked Naegi onto his back, and Togami fell on top of him, not giving Naegi a chance to figure out what was happening. He couldn't help but kiss back under the fevered assault, as impatient hands tried to force his jacket off his shoulders.
Well, if that was what they were doing, Naegi wasn't going to be the only one who had clothes removed. He managed to stop Togami's infuriating hands long enough to remove his tailored jacket, though made Togami's throat vibrate with an irritated growl. That just left the weird crossed suspenders that Togami wore fastened across his chest. Naegi would have been hard-pressed to work out how to unfasten those things even without Togami's mouth distracting him.
As it was, it took far too long for him to realize that the trick was to undo the central button holding the suspenders in place, and then unhook the clips at the back. Naegi tossed the two straps aside in relief, and then moved on to trying to unbutton Togami's shirt. He'd been imagining what it would be like to have every bit of clothing off the other boy, and whatever else was going on, he wasn't about to miss this chance. Togami seemed to have the same idea, unzipping Naegi's hoodie and flinging it across the room like it personally offended him.
As much as Naegi had wanted to see this, he found his cheeks going red when he realized they were both naked. Togami really did look amazing, all long expanses of lean muscle and smooth skin. Naegi wasn't exactly uncomfortable with his appearance, but he wasn't the type people fantasized about, either. Togami had definitely mentioned that when listing all his mediocre points.
He didn't have anything to say on that score now, though, bearing down on Naegi like an oncoming missile. His hands blistered against Naegi's skin like piles of smoldering coals, mouth searing his with furious challenge.
And it wasn't what Naegi had wanted at all. Anger had gotten tangled up in it, anger and pain and all the horrible things Togami had said without taking back. The argument had morphed from words into something physical, and as good as it felt, Naegi couldn't ignore the ugliness at the core of it.
So he wasn't entirely surprised when Togami pressed his arms to the mattress and hissed into his ear, "You know I could kill you now."
It should have been terrifying, hearing that phrase while vulnerable – but Naegi just felt irritated, and a little sad. "Seriously?"
Togami smirked down at him. "I told you, I'm not going to let anything distract me –"
"Not that. You seriously expect me to believe you'd do this now?" Naegi huffed out a sigh. "Fukawa knows what happened yesterday, and I'm pretty sure Kirigiri figured it out too. You'd have to have a really good explanation for why you shouldn't be the first suspect."
Togami's grip went slack as Naegi's words struck him, and Naegi took the opportunity to shake his hands free and wriggle out from under the larger boy. "That wouldn't make you less dead."
Naegi rolled his eyes. "Really? And what were you planning to use? I know you haven't got any weapons on you now, so – what, you were going to strangle me? You'd leave bruises on my neck in the shape of your hands. Kirigiri wouldn't even need to do an autopsy to work that one out. And that's assuming I'd have stayed still and let you. You were literally on top of me – all I'd have to do is knee you in the balls."
The onslaught of logic made Togami wince, but though he opened his mouth, no words came out. He just stared at Naegi like he'd never seen anything like him.
Naegi sighed again. "You know, you didn't have to say that. If you're really not interested, you could have just said you wanted to stop. It would be way more believable than the idea that you would try to kill someone with a stupid plan."
"I didn't want to." Pink stained Togami's cheeks as the words slipped out, that odd, indefinable look on his face growing more intense. Was he embarrassed at having the holes in his actions pointed out to him? Or did he just hate it that much that Naegi had the nerve to argue with him?
It didn't matter. Naegi shook his head. "Yeah, I figured out that you didn't want to have sex with me again, the death threat made that pretty clear –"
"Not that –" Togami clamped his mouth shut, pink blush blazing to a full scarlet.
Not that? What was that supposed to mean? Not what? What else was there that he hadn't wanted to do? There were really only two possibilities that Naegi could think of.
"You didn't want to kill me?" Naegi asked, frowning. "Or you didn't want to stop?"
Togami didn't move except for a faint twitch in his face, like he was trying to reassemble his cold mask but couldn't quite work out how to do it.
It made a strange sort of sense, if Naegi tried to think about it from the other boy's point of view. Togami's touches had felt like the continuation of their argument, not like pleasure for its own sake, and that death threat could have been an attempt to use a power play to make a point. If there was one thing Naegi knew about Togami, it was that he hated losing – that he didn't even accept it was possible for him to lose. So of course he'd be bothered by the way that Naegi had out-argued him, in that moment right before Togami had kissed him.
That had been kind of weird timing, now that Naegi thought about it.
And he'd just done it again, hadn't he? He'd stabbed Togami through with unassailable logic, just like during the trials – except that these should have been even worse, since they were about Togami himself instead of just his arguments about another person. He would have expected Togami to get mad and storm out, not stay in Naegi's bed, staring at him like he couldn't tear his eyes away. He didn't look like he was about to leave, either, not lying there with his face flushed and his breath too fast and –
Oh. It clicked in Naegi's mind, then, everything coming together at last. Togami might act like he hated having Naegi outthink him, but apparently part of him didn't hate it at all.
Part of Naegi really wanted to pretend nothing had happened, to lean forward and kiss the heir again, ignoring Togami's words. He was certain Togami wouldn't object, that they could carry on and try out some of the fantasies that had been running through his head all day. He really wanted that – couldn't stand the thought of not having it, not when the other boy was so close.
But he didn't want what they'd had a moment ago, either, full of an empty fire that would leave nothing but sordid ashes in its wake. It would only be worse if he let things go, leaving that death threat lingering between them to fester in the wounds their argument had left. If Naegi threw himself back into Togami's arms now, no matter how good his intentions might be, he knew that it could only end badly. They had to deal with it, had to bleed out the poison, if there was going to be any path forward.
"I know you didn't really want to kill me."
And that was true. Naegi hadn't actually believed for a second that Togami planned to murder him during sex. If he'd thought Togami was capable of that, he wouldn't have wanted to touch the other boy in the first place. But that wasn't the important question.
"Did you think you wanted to kill me?"
Togami glared at Naegi. "I wanted to win this game. Haven't I been saying so from the start?"
Naegi shrugged. "It's easy to say something you don't mean. And I know you didn't."
"Oh? And what makes you so sure?"
A thousand little things said so, none of which Naegi could name with any precision. The way Togami tilted his head, the tone of his voice, the look in his eye, all the tiny parts that made up the single picture Naegi could interpret but not explain. There was only one way he knew how to say it.
"Because I trust you not to."
Togami stared at him in disbelief. "You – trust me? And that's all the reason you have?" He shook his head, lip curling with familiar disdain. "I expected better of you."
"You trust me too, though," Naegi said, before Togami could move away. "Or you wouldn't be here at all."
Togami rolled his eyes. "I don't trust you," he said. "I just know you aren't capable of –"
He stopped short, and Naegi smiled.
"I don't trust you," Togami repeated, but this time doubt lay underneath his words.
And as he said it, an idea occurred to Naegi, born from the same set of instincts he'd used in the archive the previous day.
"That's okay," Naegi said, reaching down to the floor beside the bed to scoop up Togami's discarded suspenders. "I'll prove it to you."
He leaned forward and clipped one suspender to the corner of the bed.
"What are you doing?" Togami demanded as Naegi seized his hand.
"Don't move." Naegi wrapped the edge of the strap around his wrist.
Togami stared at his hand in disbelief. "Is this some kind of joke?"
"No." Naegi began hooking the other strap to the opposite corner of the bed.
Togami tugged at his wrist and rolled his eyes. "This wouldn't hold a fly. You've only clipped it down, I could pull it off –"
"You won't," Naegi interrupted. "Unless you want to leave."
Togami stiffened, and for a moment Naegi thought he was considering doing just that. Maybe he'd misjudged things, maybe he really had been imagining the connection he'd thought they could share. But on the other hand –
"I know that if you really wanted to leave, you'd have done it already," Naegi added, driving the point home as thoroughly as he could.
Togami's breath shook a little as Naegi took away one of his arguments again – and he raised his wrist for Naegi to tie in place.
"And what am I supposed to do now?" Togami's voice was a little deeper as he watched Naegi, pupils dilated.
Naegi settled himself on top of the heir, noting the cracks in the other boy's attempt at disinterest. He leaned forward until his breath touched Togami's face as he whispered, "Trust me."
