Who Am I? DK x DM
TRIGGER WARNING, I REPEAT TRIGGER WARNING!
This is my first one shot of this type so be nice!
"Don't jump please," a male shouts to his younger friend who is standing on the ledge of a very high roof. Their other friends all stand near the entrance to the stairs, hoping the eldest of the group could convince the male to come down from the ledge before it was too late. "You're not going to change my mind," the male who is standing on the ledge calls back, he takes another step towards the edge and they all hold their breaths to see if he would actually take that fateful step off the ledge. There was a bottle of pills on the floor that were empty next to some beer bottles and one bottle of gin so if they did manage to talk him down they would have to take him to hospital for an overdose. They think about what brought them back to this fateful night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ three months ago G.P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm making my way down to the hospital because I was called by a nurse to say someone called the ambulance on my young friend Danny and I was on the top of his emergency contact list. They weren't going to tell me what was wrong, all I know is he collapsed and lost a lot of blood and they took him for surgery. I'm going to be the good big brother figure I am and help Danny recover from this even if it does mean our planned tour gets postponed because I doubt he'd be okay to perform two weeks after major abdomen surgery. I arrived into the main reception because I was called from the emergency department, but they told me that he wasn't going to be in there after surgery, they would take him to ICU for monitoring.
The receptionist told me where to go and she hoped my friend recovers soon. I walked towards the elevator and soon I was on the intensive care floor. I have no idea where Danny is though since I wasn't given a room number. I used the hand gel and told them through the intercom that I was here to see Daniel Murillo and they let me in, it seems they were expecting my arrival. They took me to his room and said he'd wake up soon since he was no longer under sedation and it was up to him if he told me exactly what happened. Danny looked alright, he was just incredibly pale, and he was in a hospital gown. I took his hand in my and rubbed the top of it with my thumb. He seemed to start responding to my touch.
His eyes slowly fluttered open a few minutes later and I smiled at him. He gave me a weak smile back before I saw pain in his eyes. They did say they gave him some pain killers, but I bet movement is going to hurt. "Hey Danny boy, how are you feeling?" I ask him, speaking a bit quieter than usual because Danny has only just come round from general anaesthetic. "Hello George, I'm tired and sore, but I'll be okay," Danny tells me, and he gives my hand a weak squeeze. I still don't know what happened, so I might ask him when he is feeling more awake. If everything goes to plan, then he will go home to my care tomorrow when I can bring him one of his spare outfits because they cut him out of his. A nurse came in and explained to Danny after she gave him a check over that he could go home tomorrow once I brought some clothes and he'd be on bed rest for a couple of weeks.
Danny has been awake for a little while now, so I want to ask him if he knows exactly what happened and how he has ended up in the hospital. "Danny what happened, they won't tell me. They said it was up to you if you tell me or not," I ask him, and he looks down to his hands and messes with the IV canula a little. "You're not going to judge me or hate me if I tell you?" he asks me, and I sit on the edge of the bed and hold his hands to show him that I was going to support him. "I'm not going to judge you Danny," I tell him, and he looks into my eyes. Whatever he was about to tell me was making him really nervous. "I wasn't being completely truthful when I told you I am a guy. I was born a woman and I'm almost completely transitioned now," he tells me, fearful of my reaction to this news.
So today he would have had his womb removed, not by choice it seems, but he would have needed it taken out for his transition to be complete. "Aw Danny, I wouldn't judge you or hate you for that, if you feel that you should have been male then a male you shall be," I tell him, basically confirming my support for him and he looked at me and he was so happy. He needs people supporting him through this because it would be a very difficult thing to deal with on your own. "Thanks George, my mom says I've had gender dysphoria since I was a baby, so I know it isn't just a phase. I don't want to tell the others yet though, not all of them are going to be as supportive of me as you," he tells me, and something about the way he said it made me feel sad. I know Jorel probably will support Danny, but the others I couldn't say for sure.
"I wasn't going to question if it was a phase or not, spending money to have operations to make you feel more comfortable in your own body is definitely not a phase in my mind," I tell him, then I hug him gently so that I don't upset the wound. He hugs me back and I felt tears on my shirt a few minutes later. "Aw Danny don't cry buddy. Everything is going to be fine I promise you," I tell him, thinking he was crying because he was upset about the whole situation. He shuffled back a little bit and wiped the tears away and I saw a smile. "I'm not upset, I guess today's been overwhelming and I never in a million years thought that you would accept this straight away," he tells me, I think he felt relieved that coming out, even though it didn't go the way he planned it, went as smoothly as it could possibly go.
Shortly after Danny fell asleep because he was still under the effects of the anaesthetic, so I decided to let him rest and I would text management to let them know that Danny would either have to come out to tour a couple of weeks later or we start the tour a couple of weeks later than we intend to. Danny is going to make a full recovery, but he needs to rest in the meantime. Management replied and told me everything was going to be fine and Danny won't need to worry about anything. Tour is going to start later, and Danny is going to be banned from lifting anything heavier than his guitar for the entire duration of the tour itself. I had Danny's hand in mine because it was giving him some comfort that someone was there for him, and we all got the same text message from management to say due to an accident one of the band members was involved in tour will start one week later than planned.
Jorel texted me while I was planning on what clothes of Danny's I am going to find when I leave for a little bit during tomorrow morning before they discharge him. He was asking if both Danny and I are okay because he couldn't get hold of Danny who usually messages him back straight away. I told him that I was okay, and Danny has some slight abdomen injuries and he's recovering in hospital overnight, but should be okay soon. Jorel texts back and says that he will go to Danny's house tomorrow when he comes home to help me make sure the youngest of the three of us stays in bed. Something tells me that Danny isn't going to be resisting bed rest. I told him that was fine by me, but I'd ask Danny when he wakes up. It doesn't feel weird to call Danny a male when I just learned that biologically for the most part he is still female.
I talk to Jorel for a bit longer and said he could come and visit Danny in the morning, so the poor male isn't on his own while I go and get him some clothes because the outfit he arrived at hospital in has been destroyed. Well when I say destroyed I mean they cut him out of his outfit because he arrived unconscious and they couldn't lift the shirt over his head. I could repair it by stitching it up, but I doubt that they would be repaired so I might as well just replace the outfit while Danny relaxes at home. I might as well settle down for the night since I am not leaving Danny's side while he recovers from his injuries and I can help him explain to Jorel should he need to. I feel like Jorel would support Danny regardless of anything Danny tells him.
Danny wakes up about an hour after he fell asleep and the nurse offered us both a choice of sandwiches. The blood transfusions Danny was on are working as I see a bit more colour in his cheeks now. We ate our sandwiches and I told him Jorel wanted to visit and I showed him the Facebook announcement for tour. He looked panicked until he read that the name of the person involved wasn't revealed. "Don't worry Danny, it isn't really necessary for people to know who was injured for now anyway. If they start kicking off when they find out it is you then we will defend you," I tell the younger male who looks a little calmer now. "Thanks George, I am just worried that haters are just going to complain no matter what I do," Danny says, sounding sad so I give him a hug.
next morning Danny p.o.v~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
George spent the night with me after my little incident. He wasn't angry at me for keeping the whole I am female to male transgender thing a secret, but I think Jorel might be when he finds out. George is still here because he is waiting for Jorel to stay with me for a few minutes while he gets me an outfit to go home in. I asked him for a long jumper and track pants because I doubt jeans will fit and be comfortable after the operation that I had yesterday. I don't know when I will be able to wear my skinny jeans again, but I doubt it will be more than a month or so. I also got a text from management saying that I was going to be on a lot of rest when we do go on tour and I am not allowed to lift anything heavier than my guitar.
I don't mind that although I do feel a bit bummed because that means I have to not help out like I sometimes to with the amps and stuff. Not that I am supposed to be helping out, but it is part of my personality to help. Jorel shows up before George was going to call him to find out where he was. As soon as I had an outfit to go home in then I could be discharged. I was off the blood transfusions and the IV now which is good, and I can keep food down. The scar from the operation will be easy to hide as well since my boxers will just cover it up straight away. "How are you feeling Danny?" Jorel asks me, I saw the concern for me written all over his face. He must have been worrying since management told him or George, I can't remember who.
"I'm okay, going to be sore for a little while but I can deal with that," I tell him, giving him a reassuring smile. The others sent me well wishes through their texts since they claimed they didn't want to overwhelm me by all visiting at once. At first, I would have said I didn't mind but then I noticed how tired I was and sometimes I did just want to be left alone so I kinda agreed to that but said they could come before tour if they wanted. They would just have to let me know a decent amount of time beforehand. Jorel was just happy to see me sitting up and looking a whole lot better than I probably did yesterday. "That's okay, as long as you're happy with George and I looking after you," Jorel says and I chuckle. I was going to be forced into being looked after by the two other men regardless of if I wanted them to or not.
Now that Jorel was here, George felt comfortable to leave me while he went back to my house to sort some things out and get me some clothes that I could go home in. since that is the only thing keeping me here really. "I'll be back in a little bit Danny and then you can go home," George says, and he hugs me.I hug him back and the nerves set in, I don't know if the nurse is going to reveal what happened to Jorel and she knows I was really struggling to tell George because I was terrified of his reaction. I am surprised he took it so well to be honest, out of all the members in the band to come out to, I thought he'd be the least accepting. I know at least one of the guys will react badly to it though, I am just not sure who.
My friend who has been helping me through all of this is Theresa, she has known since high school when we met, and my father knew nothing about it, he was not around when my mom found out and supported me through it. Theresa was non-judgemental about it and even used to provide me with the things I needed to get through each month. She works here as a nurse and walked in with a nervous smile on her face, she saw Jorel, so she decided to keep her mouth shut about the transgender thing. "Hey Danny, are you feeling better after yesterday?" she asks, she was there when I collapsed and phoned the ambulance for me. Theresa is the second person I came out to, the first being my mom.
"I'm alright Reese, I'm glad you were there though. I don't think I would have made it if you weren't there. I'm bummed it means tour is pushed back a week, but even I couldn't have prevented that," I tell her, and I was glad that she was keeping it a secret for me still. I am glad I have people like her in my life that I could trust. I don't know what the cover up would be for what happened, but if we needed to we would figure something out. Jorel sits next to me on the bed and takes my hand in his. "You're welcome Danny, I'd always be here for you," Reese tells me and then hugs me carefully. She knows how hard the transition has been for me and now that it is almost over I feel relieved. "Yeah, I was really worried for you yesterday after George told me what happened. I would have been here sooner, but I was worried about overwhelming you," Jorel says and I hug him.
He was starting to put my mind at ease for a little while about coming out to him, but I knew deep down it was going to be a few weeks before I do come out to him. He might have me feeling more confident about coming out, but I wasn't going to do it and then get sorely rejected for it afterwards because he cannot accept who I am and who I used to be. "What's worrying you Danny?" he asks me, when he hugs me back. I noticed the monitor I had for my heart rate was showing that it was going up slightly. "Nothing, I am fine," I tell him, hoping he wouldn't see straight away that I was lying to his face. "He has never liked being in hospital Jorel," Theresa tells him, and I was glad she was on shift and here to help me out.
I think she was going to be changing the dressing on my surgery site and then maybe she could help me get changed because I am uncomfortable changing around Jorel at the moment because then he would find out. George knows and has seen me shirtless before, so I don't mind him helping me out as much but then Jorel would want to help out too. Theresa shooed Jorel out of the room for a moment while she cleaned the surgery site and checked on my stitches before she added a fresh dressing over the top. While we were talking, George returned and was talking to Jorel outside. "When's Jorel going to find out Danny? I know George knows by now, but you can't keep it from them forever," she tells me, and I sigh. I know this is going to have to be something I deal with sooner rather than later.
"I don't know Reese, I was so scared just telling George yesterday, not everyone in the band is going to accept it and I'd rather keep it a secret for as long as possible," I tell her, trying to be as open to her as possible as she has helped me out so much with this transition. She provided me things that I should have been giving her if we were in a relationship like everyone saw us as. I saw us more like brother and sister because I have always been attracted to males. She knows I have been and she accepts it. Before she put the dressing pad on she called George into the room and she explained to him how to care for it he could help me out. "So, you've known about this with Danny for a while then?" he asks, and I look to him with a smile on my face. "Yeah, I was the second person that Danny came out to, his mom knew from quite early on and I did help him out through high school up to now," she tells him, and he smiles.
"I think I could help you come out to Jorel when you are ready Danny. I know he will accept you for who you are," George says, as he helps me into the outfit I could finally leave here in. "You would help me? I appreciate it because I don't know if I could tell anyone else," I tell him, feeling glad that he was on my side and still accepting me. "Yeah, of course I will help you. It probably won't be today though because that would be too much for the pair of you," George says, and then we let Jorel in, so he could hug me. "I'll get the discharge papers sorted Danny," Theresa says, and she leaves the room. It was so good to be in clothes and ones that were a little baggy on me. I was surprised that George knew what to pick for me. I sent George a text message so that he would know how grateful I was for his outfit choice.
Then about twenty minutes later Theresa came back in with the discharge papers so I could finally go home. I signed them, and she handed me a prescription pain killers so that I would be comfortable when I'm back at home and the morphine wears off. "Right then Daniel, the next time I want to see you is when you are back at home okay?" Theresa says, jokingly and I laughed. "Okay Theresa, the next time you see me will be when I am back at home okay," I tell her, and George helps me into the wheelchair which was hospital policy for me to go home. I didn't even mind her calling me Daniel even though it was close to the name I used to have, Danielle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ two months later D p.o.v~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are in my mom's hometown on tour and I came clean to Jorel about a month ago I counted my blessings that he was accepting of me. I am sure that the others are going to find out soon enough and my mom was going to help me. I want to talk more openly about it with Jorel and George, but I don't have any time with the guys finding out. I think the rest of the band are going to find out at the same time, I didn't like that thought but it was the only option that I had. They all needed to know at some point and I was probably going to get kicked out of the band. My mom was here, and she was going to explain everything to the guys about what gender dysphoria is and how it affects me, and she would get protective of me if they rejected me.
She explained everything and an hour later Dylan and Jordon were acceptive of me and they understood what was going on and they didn't hate me for it which was a big relief for me. There was one person that rejected me straight away and that was the one person that I thought would have accepted me to. Matt, he didn't like the idea that I was ever a woman and now I was a man. That means he would never love me for who I am which is a shame because I had a crush on him and I was hoping that one day we would get together. I had tears in my eyes and I quickly brushed them away, no one could see me being weak. We only have two shows of this tour left, I could do whatever I wanted to myself after that. I just have to struggle through three more days, three more days of torture.
"Come on Matt, you're the one who goes on Tumblr all the time. I thought you'd be the most accepting," George says, trying to bring Matthew around to the idea that I was male like he knows me as and not female as he has never known me as because from being six months old my mom always dressed me like a boy. "Honestly Matthew, this has been so hard for Danny. I first noticed when Danny was six months old. I'd try and dress him like he was supposed to be a girl, but he would scream until I put him in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. This can happen to anyone and all he needs is for you to accept him for who he is," my mom says, and it looked like Matthew was about to change his mind, but he changed it back again a second later.
I walked to my bunk and flopped down. How on earth am I going to survive three days with my crush hating every fibre of my being. I held back the tears, this shouldn't be getting to me as much as it is doing. It's no big deal, right? My crush will never go out with me now. I heard the guys trying to defend me in vain. Matthew is never going to accept me now because of what I used to be, or should I say who I used to be. Jorel walked in, being the only one who knew of my crush and I knew he wanted to comfort me. I sighed again, and he sat next to me. "I know this sucks Danny, he'll come round to the idea eventually, he just needs to accept that you were born a female and now for all purposes you are male and that's the way that you want to be," Jorel tells me, and for a minute I believe him.
"He's never going to accept me for who I am Jorel. It's clear to see all over his face. He'll be horrified at who I am never mind the concept of even going out with me," I tell him, quietly and venting my upset at this whole thing. I fucking regret coming out to the band now. I know I have enough people backing me up to secure my place in the band, but the one person I need just isn't going to support me when I need him to. "He will one day, he just has to see sense. Nothing about you has changed, he just need to see past the person you used to be," Jorel says and I give him the smallest of smiles. I was so done with all of this stress and torture I have to go through just to be comfortable with who I am.
"Maybe I should just leave the band, everyone will be better off that way. You know, I could just disappear off the face of the planet and make everyone happy," I tell him, and he pulls me into a tight hug. I hug him back weakly because I just didn't have the strength to give him a proper hug, I feel defeated. I heard him call for George and I noticed I was sobbing my heart on his chest. George closed the door behind him and no one had heard my cries. "Aw Danny, we'll bring him round to the idea. You'll see," George says, and he picks me up and holds me close to him. He rocks me until I finally calm down and I start getting tired. All of this is just too much. "Maybe we shouldn't have made him come out to the three at once," Jorel says, noticing my lack of energy in George's arms.
"I think we would have had this problem with Matthew regardless of the timing. The fact that Danny is female to male transgender makes no difference to us and we accept that, and his gender dysphoria and Matthew will learn to accept this in time. It is a lot to take in all at once," George says, once again speaking some sense in the madness that is my life. "Yeah and Danny, you've got to learn that no matter what everyone will want you to stay in this band and on the face of the planet," Jorel says, putting his hand on my back. George made me look into his eyes and he told me that no matter what he'd always be here for me and that I was going to be alright in the end and he would make sure that I don't do anything stupid.
After that they focused on lying down on my bunk with me on either side and calming me down enough, so I could attempt to fall asleep. "Don't worry Danny, everything is going to be fine and it will all work itself out in time and it will be sooner rather than later," Jorel says as I managed to start dozing off. I believed him though, something will work out for me in time. I just hope it isn't too late when that happens though. "Just relax for now Danny, everything will be fine," George says, and I start falling asleep to their soothing patterns on my back and soon enough I am asleep in between the two of them and I feel safe and happy despite the dark cloud looming over my head. That dark cloud is getting darker all the time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to the roof Matthew p.o.v~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really fucked up badly that day, four days ago Danny had the confidence to reveal to us a deep secret and the first thing I do is be a douchebag to him. The others were right all along, I was acting out of order and I needed to fix it before it is too late. Now would be the perfect time to do it since Danny is now standing on a ledge on a roof really high up and he was one step away from falling to his doom and his death because I don't think anyone would survive a fall from this high up. He has taken an overdose as well and it almost seemed like the chorus of the song "Bullet" was coming true but I never expected it to be the lead singer of the band to do it. George is desperately trying to talk Danny down, but it wasn't working.
Danny might be too far gone to be saved. I really don't want him to be too far gone. I want to save him and be the one to confess my love to him like I should have done in the first place. "Danny please, I don't care about the whole gender thing, I never have. You be who you want to be," I call out to him and he stopped, stunned by my sentence. "You're just saying that to talk me down Matt, you don't mean it," Danny says, I thought I had almost managed to convince him to come down, so we could take him to hospital and get his overdoses treated. "No Danny, I really mean it. I don't care who you were before. I love you for the man you are now," I tell him, and I saw him shake a little bit. Maybe, just maybe I finally managed to convince him to come down.
"Danny please come down and let me make it up to you, we could go to that restaurant in LA that you like so much. We could do anything you chose," I call out to him, and he turns to look at me. I smiled as he looked like he was going to come down, I was trying to be as genuine as possible to him and I was speaking the truth. Danny started to make his way down and then tripped just as George jumped to grab him. They were both fine when I ran over to make sure they were. Danny was starting to show signs of being affected by his overdose, so I took him in my arms and held him tight. "M-Matthew?" Danny asks, looking up to see it was me holding him. "Everything's going to be okay now Danny," I tell him, and we rush down to the car to get Danny to the nearest hospital.
I kept hold of Danny the entire time we were driving to the hospital and he was just getting worse as the minutes went by. We were all scared for the health of our lead singer. I just hoped he would survive so he could know how much I love him and how much I wanted to protect him. Danny was barely responding, and it scared me. It scared the others too, when the paramedics took Danny off me George handed them the pill bottle and told them he overdosed on it and how much he drank. Then we were told to wait in the emergency department for news while they attempt to save Danny's life. "I'm so sorry guys, I caused this didn't I?" I ask, when we went to the private family room to wait nervously for news. George pulled me into a hug and Jorel patted me on the back.
"No Matt, maybe you could have reacted differently to Danny's news, but I think he might have had depression eating up inside him for some time now and it has reached a point where it is too much for him now," Jorel says, it did little to make me feel at ease, but I know that he was probably speaking the truth, Danny did seem to open up to them more. I felt like an awful individual right now, I slump down on the chair and George sat down next to me and hand one hand on my shoulder. "We are serious Matt, I don't think the whole incident would lead to him wanting to do this. I suppose when he is okay then we can find out why he wanted to do this," George says, and I started feeling a little better about it.
We waited another three hours before a doctor came out to talk to us about Danny. They didn't immediately give us bad news, but it was going to be very lucky if Danny would have survived the amount of pills he has taken. They told us he was alive, but it was very touch and go if he was going to recover completely as he has done a lot of damage to himself, in particular his liver. He would probably need a liver transplant before too much longer. They took us to his intensive care room and let us all in to visit him. Well, George wanted to talk a bit more to the doctor about Danny's future and how long he would need to wait for a new liver if it got to that stage, they were trying to save it for now. He was on a drip and they are doing all they can to save him, for now it is up to him how he does overnight and into the next morning.
I took his hand in mine and the guys made themselves comfortable around his bedside. This is going to be a tough night for sure. Thank god, the tour is over, management was informed, and they said they would rearrange our flight for when Danny is well enough to go home. They were very understanding but they know us inside out. Everyone seems to be more optimistic about Danny recovering than I was. "Don't worry, Danny is so strong, and he will make it through this," Jordon says, even he was confident. I just have to be the only negative one in the room I guess. I rub my thumb on Danny's hand and I just felt like he could feel me there for him, trying to give him some strength to make it through this.
I talk to him, all of us do and I was hoping that he could hear me and that he would believe me when I tell him that I love him and that I will always be here for him from now on and how I was going to keep my promise to make it up to him. I move my chair to be as close to him as possible. When he wakes up I want him to know that I was telling the truth back there on the roof and I was going to support him from now until death does us part and I meant every word. I want to be the one that Danny goes to when he needs me. I want him to tell me that he loves me and that he wants to be with me. George walked back in and smiled by what he saw, all of us supporting Danny the ways that we are supposed to.
"Let's get some rest now guys, it's going to be a long night while we wait for Danny to wake up and he doctor said it is going to be a few days from now at least so that Danny has the best chance of making a full recovery from this," George says, and I am so tempted to agree with him. The days events have left me feeling exhausted and I want to be on top form for when Danny wakes up and needs someone to help him get better. I bet all of us are going to be here for him, I just know it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1 week later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Danny has been recovering really well this last week and the doctors said they might try and wake him up today. They weren't taking him off the ventilator today, but I would be able to see his brown eyes again. The guys have been taking it in turns to buy us all food and we all took it in turns to rest peacefully while the nurses occasionally check on Danny and how he is recovering. I was the only one awake when the doctor came in and told me her plans for the day. She was going to wean him off the sedation drugs completely and then let him wake up for a little while and see how he does. Tomorrow they would be considering weaning him on the ventilator and in a few days' time Danny could go home and we would be able to go back to Los Angeles, so I could make it up to Danny and even possibly asking him out.
I can't wait to take Danny out on this date day I have planned out. Well, George and Jorel helped me plan it out and I was going to make sure that it went perfectly. A few minutes later the doctor left and said Danny would open his eyes any time in the next half an hour and she would be back to check on him then. I just kept my hand in his and hoped he would soon start showing signs that he would be with us again. George walked in with food and handed me mine and ate his. We ate in silence after I told him Danny should be waking up soon and he would be off the ventilator this time tomorrow if everything went okay. George was talking to Danny and telling him when he could hear his voice to squeeze my hand.
It was about ten minutes later before we got the first sign of reaction from Danny. He twitched one of his fingers against my hand and I jumped for a moment before starting to talk to him and letting him know everything is okay and that I was sorry. Despite all the guys telling me it wasn't my fault Danny is lying in this bed, I couldn't help but blame myself for it. Why else would Danny be in here if it wasn't for my reaction to him coming out? I couldn't think of any reason, his mom said he had severe depression, so I took it as I made it worse. "How many more times do we have to say that it isn't your fault Matt? Maybe tomorrow when this ventilator tube comes out Danny can tell you himself," George says, and he hugs me,
Of course, Danny heard every word since he was waking up and he weakly squeezed my hand and I looked to him and saw his eyes starting to flutter open. Both George and I encouraged him to open his eyes and a couple of minutes later he did. He looked straight at me after he adjusted to the bright lights that were inside the room and he looked like he wanted to say something. "I'll get you a notebook in a little bit Danny, the tube can't come out yet," George says, and Danny just didn't look impressed. He looked into my eyes and I smiled at him, I decided I was going to make my move now. That way the date day can be our first date as an official couple. I can't kiss him on the lips, but I kiss him on his forehead and his eyes flutter shut. Then he opens them again and I could see pure love in his eyes.
"I love you Danny, I am so sorry for what I said when you came out," I tell him, and he squeezes my hand again as if he was saying everything was okay. George got a notebook and pen and gave it to Danny who wrote down that he forgave me and that he loved me too. The doctor came back to check on him and started weaning Danny off the ventilator and told him if everything went to plan then we would be home before he knows it. I was just happy that Danny is awake and alive, and he was going to be fine. I squeezed Danny's hand and we just talked before he fell asleep and then Jorel woke up and we just chuckled because he asked how Danny was and if he woke up half an hour ago then he would have seen Danny awake. He was so annoyed when he found out about Danny being awake and he smiled at me.
George had let it slip that I had confessed my love to Danny and showed the scribbled handwriting which shows that Danny had said that he loves me back. "I'm glad that you accept Danny now Matt, he was really worried, but we told him that you'd come round to it eventually," Jorel tells me and I agreed with him and admitted I probably should have said I accepted it earlier. Now I can make it up to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2 weeks later Danny p.o.v~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was so glad that Matt managed to turn things around. He has really been trying to impress me and make it up to me even though I told him that I was fine, and I forgave him. I am just glad to be home with him now. I was in bed because Matt said he was bringing me breakfast in bed to start our date day off now I agreed to be his boyfriend. He came into my room a few minutes later with a tray of stacked waffles and syrup drenched on it the way that I usually do. I just look at him after looking at the food with awe in my eyes. "Matt, you didn't have to do this you know. This is amazing," I tell him, finally feeling happy inside and out. "I have to Danny, no matter what you say about today. I have to make it up to you," he tells me, and he sits next to me.
I eat my breakfast then put the tray to one side, so I could hug Matt tightly. "I know Matt, I am just happy to spend time with you now and all of that mess that was tour is behind us now. Something wasn't right with me during that time. I think I was in dark places, but you guys showed me the light," I tell him, now feeling confident to reveal my true feelings to them. "Aw Danny. We should have been there sooner for you, but I guess that coming out as transgender is harder than anything you have done before," Matt tells me, and he hugs me tightly. I hug him back and then we decide to get ready for our date day. I am so curious for the other places he might take me to today, I know we are going to my favourite restaurant and he's paying for everything which I can't really deny even though I don't really want him to spend so much on me.
"Danny, you can bring your wallet with you, but I want to spoil you just this once," he tells me, once I get dressed and I was almost ready to go. "Fine, you can spoil me, but only this once," I say, after a minute of thinking. The guys were so worried about me when we were up on the roof that night so the least I can do is let them spoil me when they ask for it. If it puts their mind at ease, then that is fine with me. I am going to let them look after me when I need them too now as well. Might as well use this opportunity to change myself a little bit. I took Matt's hand in mine when I was done getting ready and we walked out to the car, so the date could begin. I was so excited that everything was going well for once in my life.
"Are you ready, my little lion?" Matt asks me, and I smiled at him. He made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and that was just the best feeling. Every touch sent shocks down my spine. "Yeah, I'm ready curly fry," I tell him, and he smiles as me. He made me stop just next to the passenger door of the car and he opened it for me like a true gentleman. I sat down in the seat and he closes the door for me and then he got into the driver's side as I put my seatbelt on. Soon we were off on our first adventure. I know for a fact that this day is going to go amazingly well and whatever happened Matt has it all planned out perfectly. "You're going to have a good day today I promise you Danny," Matt tells me as we near the first location I guess.
The date had gone better than I ever could off planned it to. He took me to all of the places in Los Angeles that I loved, we spent some time together on Venice beach and just spend some time relaxing without the stress of the band and the tour and everything else going on in our personal lives. The highlight was the restaurant, he had gone to a waiter and given them something before we went to sit down at our table. The meal went well and then the waiter came out with this little box. He gave it to Matt who then pulled me out in front of all the people in the restaurant watching us. He opened this box revealing the most beautiful promise ring that I have ever seen in my life. He then got down on one knee and promised me that as long as we both lived that he would love and protect me and that he would be my boyfriend until death does us part. It was kinda like marriage but not really.
I was so overwhelmed I just held out my hand or him to put the ring on and he did with the applause of everyone in the room. Then he pulled me into the best first kiss I have ever experienced in my life, I just had to kiss him back as soon as I got the chance to. "I love you so much Matt," I tell him, and he at me. "I love you too Danny, always have done and always will do," he tells me.
Happy new year people!
I hope you enjoyed this one shot, like I said I have never done this before so don't go too harsh on me please.
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