Blind Love II DM x J3T
Yay sequel time! I love this one so much. I hope you guys like it too.
Hope you enjoy it Joana_Carter
Danny p.o.v
I wonder what it is like, to wake up in the morning before your loved one and watching the sun rise while they are sleeping. I wonder what George sees in me, I have no idea what I look like and I could be ugly for all I know. I know it is very early morning, I checked my phone without waking George. Although I can't tell for sure if he is sleeping or not right now. It turns out he is awake because he hugged me, and I jumped. "Oh were you thinking a lot Danny? I'm sorry," he tells me, and I rest my head on his chest. "It's okay, was trying to think what it would be like to watch you sleep in the morning for once," I tell him. I know this upsets George a lot, he wants to be able to cure me, so I can enjoy what he enjoys, but I can't. Unfortunately due to the severity of my condition I am unable to be cured from it.
"I know Danny, I wish you could experience life in the same way that I can. It's bliss to wake up every morning to see you laying there peacefully sleeping," George tells me. I know he's looking at me and I try my best to look in his eyes. Now they know I am blind I am working less hard to pretend I am a sighted person. That is why I don't always make eye contact with them, but they nicely correct me which is good. I don't let them touch my face, but they can guide me pretty well. Since I know how to play instruments I know my left from my right. They'll just say, "Danny look to your left a little bit" and I know where to look despite not having much of a sense of direction. I don't always get it right first time though.
"Yeah, I can always have you do it for me. I am used to being blind, it's all I have ever known and mostly likely all I will ever know for the rest of my life. I know it's hard and upsetting but it's not that bad, there are still people worse off than me," I tell him. He's more upset about my blindness than I have ever been. Sure there have been times where I hate myself and I want to curl up into a ball of self-pity and cry all day. Then I realise that there are people in the world worse off than I am currently. I can still move around and live a semi-normal life. The disability is always going to be there, but I try my best to make it more of a thing in the background. Make it more of an ability than a disability if ya get me.
I fell back to sleep and woke up again and the bed was empty. It feels weird now George and I have been living together for so long it feels weird to wake up lonely. What if he wants to leave me after all of this time. I still have that doubt in my head, it never really leaves. I get up, no idea what the time is to go and find George and to make myself something to eat. It was not my morning today as I manage to fall all the way down the stairs. I did have a ground floor apartment, but now I am getting a service dog I thought I needed a bigger house and some stair training. It is not working out in my favour just yet though. "What was that noise?" George asks, so he didn't leave which was good. It eases my anxiety a bit, he hasn't left me like I thought he had.
"Oh Jesus Danny! Are you okay baby?" he asks me, and I just cry. It's one of those days where I feel really shitty about how my blindness and just have a depression day. He picks me up and holds me close. He moves to the kitchen and puts me on the counter. "I think you're alright, maybe just a few bumps and bruises. I will give you a lot of cuddles and keep an eye on you though," he tells me. I was still crying, but he was working to calm me down. I rest my head on his chest while he rubs my back. He did a head to toe check on my body to make sure I didn't hurt myself too badly during my fall. "What happened George?" Dylan asks, making me jump. I had no idea he was here, I didn't know anyone else was here right now. "He fell down the stairs it seems," George says, and I try calming down.
"Gosh, are you okay Dan? Sorry I scared you," he asks me, I had finally stopped crying like a man baby for a moment. "Everything hurts. It's okay, I forgot I live in a two floor house and I was wondering where George went. I woke up lonely," I tell them both, knowing that George will fill in the blanks in terms of my anxiety. He rubs my back some more and kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry Danny, that was my fault. I knocked on the door, so George came to answer it and got talking," Dylan says. I wasn't looking to blame anyone. It was mainly my fault for being too caught up in my mini anxiety attack than paying attention to find the hand rail and other things I failed. The service dog I am getting tomorrow should help with that too.
"I'm not looking to blame either of you, I let my emotions get the better of me this morning. It's one of those rough days," I tell them. I think I know what's causing it and my mom does too. I am getting the best help I can to remain independence, but at the same time I am drawing more attention to myself like "Hey look at me I am a blind person." I am personally not fond of drawing attention to myself. I enjoy the quiet life, I don't wanna deal with the anxiety of people coming to ask to pet the dog when I don't want them too. "I know Danny, you'll be alright though I promise I will take good care of you," George says. I know he will look after me and things, I just don't know how I'm going to cope with it personally.
"Yeah, I guess I'm being a little paranoid," I tell him. It's totally justifiable that I am a little paranoid though. I still think people are going to leave me. I just get the vibe from people that they don't want to deal with me and my burden of blindness. "I wouldn't say that you are paranoid Danny. I think you're fears are justified, and you need time to overcome them. We have only recently learnt that you are blind and its taking some adjustment for everyone involved," George tells me. I guess he is right, it's only been a few weeks since I was in hospital and they had to find out. I wish I was never blind, but I can't do anything about it. George is now keeping an eye on me for concussion symptoms because it might take some time to show up depending on how hard I hit my head when I fell.
George took me to the living room and sat down with me on his lap. I rest my head on his chest and relax a little bit. I was sore, and I just wanted to rest a little while. Dylan walked in, I knew because I heard his footsteps. I heard a spoon, but I wasn't quite sure what was going on. "I brought you some breakfast and pain medication, so you hopefully won't be as sore," Dylan says, and I smiled. He's still treating me as he had done since the day that we have met. He's making the blindness not a huge factor like we just discussed.
He places it on my lap and I was nervous. I am not that great with bowls of cereal. I have spilled them quite a few times. "Thanks Dylan," I tell him. Then I ask them both for some help. Dylan placed the pills into my hand and then the glass in the other hand. I took the pills and downed the juice. Then I let George feed me breakfast because I currently do not trust myself with the spoon. "Are you sure you are okay with this?" George asks me, he's always conscious about babying me and making me upset with my blindness. "I'm fine, I wouldn't have asked you to do it if I was uncomfortable," I tell him. He kisses my cheek and I cant kiss him back until this bowl is off my lap. "That's okay then Danny," he tells me.
Tomorrow is the big day the day I am getting reunited with Akira my service dog and she is coming to live with me for the rest of her life. I say service dog because even though she will mainly be helping with my blindness, she will also be helping me with my anxiety about being left on my own. Since I joined the band I have never been home alone. I have always had one of the guys over. This way George can go out and feel confident leaving me on my own. He really wants to make me something, I don't know what, but he says it is an amazing surprise for me. I'll just have to wait and find out I guess. I so wish I could say wait and see. Jorel really wants to do a video with me this week, probably tomorrow where we all do the bean boozled challenge and they all have to be blindfolded. It's a good way for me to tell the fans I am blind because they are realising something is up, and I need to come clean.
I could continue to pretend that I have normal eyesight, however I do not see that lasting for very long. Especially when Akria is everywhere with me and I am pictured with her and her little jacket on. "How are we going to do the thingy tomorrow?" Dylan asks me, Jorel just texted us with the time we are all gonna be at mine for tomorrow. "What do you mean? It's gonna be the bean boozled challenge with the main part of it being us blindfolded while Danny tells our fanbase he is blind because they are gonna find out real soon if they see us in public," George asks, he knows what we are doing and so does Dylan. This is gonna be the weirdest video that we have ever done, but I feel like it is time to let the fans know the truth.
"Yeah, I was thinking more about announcing the video then protecting Danny from all the harmful comments more than the video itself. We are gonna have a lot of fun tomorrow," Dylan says. The filming is going to be so much fun. I think we might have more laughs than actually doing the challenge. We have questions, some in braille for me and if we get them wrong then we eat a bean. The fun part is we won't know what we will be eating, we won't know the two flavour possibilities. They wanted to make it fair on me since I wouldn't know, and they thought it would be mean to have that advantage over me. I felt like that was extremely kind of them, they did not have to adjust specifically for me at a disadvantage to them.
"I'm used to the hate by now. Don't forget people are still having Danny v Deuce debates and Deuce fans come over every now and then to hate on me, more often when we drop new stuff," I tell him. It is true, I am more than used to the hate comments flooding all of the social media sites I use on a regular basis and it is too tedious to block them all. George and the others are fully aware of the hate I receive, and they do not like it. They intensely dislike it, but the main issue is that no one can do anything expect have someone on my account spending their lives blocking every single hater and I don't want someone doing that. Let them live their pathetic little lives, they are just sad their life is not as awesome as mine.
"I know, I just felt like it would be nice for you to open your Instagram or any other social media and just hear nice comments all the time," Dylan says, it technically does happen already. I do get far less hate comments than I did in the beginning and people were still getting used to me being around on a permanent basis. "It doesn't happen as often any more though, sure there will be some when the video comes out, but I am going to ignore them cause my life is the way it is, and I don't want to change it," I tell them, being honest about how I feel about the hate. I know my life is the way it is for a reason and I love it. I would possibly change my blindness but at the same time I am acceptive of it despite having a depression day today.
I snuggle up to George and just enjoy the warmth from his body against mine. It's amazing having him this close to me at any time of the day. "Is Danny okay now?" Dylan asks George. I am too busy snuggling up with him to pay attention to what is going on right now. "I think so, he's tired anyway because he had a bad night and as long as he has no symptoms of a concussion he should be fine," George says, kissing the top of my head. I was also coming down from the panic attack that I was having. It's making me more exhausted than normal. "I'm okay," I tell them. Then I fall asleep, making George a little worried, but he could still keep a close eye on me. I know Dylan feels guilty about it even though it was never his fault.
I woke up to George making us all lunch. I could smell the sausage, it was so good. I feel someone to my left and when I moved they rubbed my chest. "Afternoon Danny, you sleep okay?" Dylan asks, I didn't jump because I knew he was there. I don't know what time it is, or for how long I managed to nap. "Yeah, I slept good thanks. It's just gonna be one of those days," I tell him. He kinda knows about the depression, I think George might have filled him in when I was asleep. There is a TV show on quietly in the background, and I am trying to figure out what is going on based on what I can hear. "I'm sorry I didn't really help with that," Dylan says. I don't believe it was his fault though, people come over and I'm used to that.
"I don't blame you for any of that Dylan. People come over, I am used to it and I know it's a part of normal life. I should have watched where I was going when I left the room," I tell him. I heard George's footsteps before I smelt the food. "Got some sausage sandwiches for the hungry boys," George says, he knew I was going to be awake. "Thanks George," I tell him, and I hope he is smiling at me. I still can't see what they look like and George says he counts that as a blessing whereas Jorel says he looks pretty good. "You're welcome Danny, did you have a good rest?" he asks me. I am feeling a lot better than I was before, even though the depression is still there. "Yeah I had a good sleep," I tell him. He gives me my plate and waits until he knows I have hold of it before he lets it go. The sandwich was so good.
"That's good Danny, we are just gonna chill until tomorrow morning. I think it would be best for you to have a mental health day," he tells me. I need the mental health day if I was going to be one hundred percent honest with myself. It's fine, mental health days are really good and if you can have one then you should go for it. "Yeah, I think one is needed today," I tell him. Dylan one arm hugs me tighter than he was before. I took a huge bite out of the sandwich and almost regretted it if it did not taste so good. "Just going to relax and enjoy some peace before the craziness of tomorrow. Jorel said that it would be best to leave us alone for a few hours after you get Akira to start settling her in and then come to do the filming," George tells me.
This made me so grateful that Jorel understands. Akira and I get along really well with each other by now, but she does need a couple of hours to get used to living in a new house. She's pretty adaptable which is good. It is going to take her some time to get used to the new layout and how she is able to help me out with day to day activities. The lady who was helping me get used to it told me to not feel guilty about asking Akira to grab things for me if she can reach them. It is part of her job to help me whenever I need her too and if I am on my own and need a bottle of drink or something then I can just ask her to go get it for me. I just need to get used to doing it as I have her for a long time now and she will be so helpful.
I ate lunch and listened to what was on the telly. It wasn't really that interesting to me, but Dylan loved it and I didn't want to change it because I didn't like it. I feel like a burden enough already and I don't want to make him unhappy because of something I didn't like. It would be totally unreasonable, he shouldn't have to change what he is watching because I don't like what is going on. I just rest with Dylan, George told me quietly that Dylan had gotten very upset that my morning routine was ruined, and I had fallen and hurt myself because he showed up while I was still sleeping. I am trying to make him happy and less guilty about something he has no control over. I feel sorry for him, it was my fault he felt guilty.
I was getting a lot of bruising that I knew was there when someone touched it and George said I have a few. "Danny, what would be the best time to come over to yours next time? I don't want a repeat of this morning," Dylan says, I hope I look up at his face and convey to him how confused I am right now. I am hoping that I can explain to Dylan why I do not really care. "There won't be a repeat of this morning, tomorrow I am getting a service dog who will be my eyes and I doubt I will fall down the stairs again with George around, so it's fine to come over any time you feel like it as long as I know first really," I tell him, making some sense I think. It's true though I am not going to fall down the stairs again.
The next day
I hate car rides, I literally hate them. I think it's just because you're moving but at the same time you are sitting down. I get sick on most journeys I go on, but I have travel sickness pills. We are currently on the way to get my service dog, then get lunch as a celebration and George wants to go to a shop and get some things before we film so that I can get more experience being out in public with her before we do anything. Then we get two hours at home before we do the video filming. Jorel really wants me to be comfortable with the topic before we film, and I offered to let them help me word it when needed. I was going to be the one explaining what exactly is wrong with my eyes and the others will help me if I struggle saying how I can still act like I do have full vision when I know I don't, and they know I don't have any vision now.
"I have a present for you as well, think I am going to give it to you when we get home," George tells me. I smile at his general direction. He's been leaving while my mom has been over then coming back two hours later and I don't know why yet. Maybe the gift he is going to give me will explain all. We are at the place where I will become Akira's owner in a couple of hours. All it's going to be is a short explanation on what to do and practice some of the commands we are gonna be using. It is fine, and George guided me towards the handle which is how she is going to guide me around. Then the lady helps me sign the papers and we are free to go. Akira was really good at following George around and I felt comfortable having her lead the way.
"Right to Starbucks for lunch then to Walmart for a spot of snack shopping then back home," George says, sounding really happy. My mom was happy that I was getting Akira, she worries about my safety and she just wants the best for me at all times. I was on my own trying to order something for George when I got hit by a car, so they want that extra security of knowing that I will be safe when I am on my own. I was so fearful that I would lose my independence when I got Akira, but it is very reassuring to know that I am not. I just have to deal with the anxiety of people trying to pet her without asking me first. George is here with me to defend me and probably will make me have someone with me until I have the confidence to say no.
Going into Starbucks was fine, the staff noticed that she was a service dog and when we showed her legitimacy they let us stay. That is another problem I will encounter, there are a lot of fake service dogs around and I have to be careful that I don't get falsely accused. Lunch was good, we didn't see any fans though which won't spoil today's video recording. Then we went to Walmart which was a bit more nerve wracking, but it seemed to go well. I stayed close to George anyway, I always have a little bit of anxiety going into a store. We get all of the snacks and drinks that we need, and George pays for it. Soon we are both home and I'm relaxing on the couch. It's nearly time for my present according to George.
"I think you'll like this Danny. I have a little explanation to it, but I want your reaction first," George says, and I felt a box on my lap. I pick it up and carefully open it, I don't want to ruin whatever George has made for me or whatever he has done. I pick up something which feels like ribbon, I follow the ribbon to something metal, these are materials I have been taught what they feel like, so I can identify them despite being blind. I run my hand over the metal circle and feel some oddly familiar bumps. I bet George is recording me right now. To the best boyfriend ever love George is what the bumps read. I ran my fingers over them a couple of times to make sure that I read that correctly. He gave me something with braille on it.
"Oh my god, what the heck? Thank you so much," I tell him with tears in my eyes. I put the medal down and then George hugged me, and I hugged him back tightly. "You are so welcome my love. The reason I kept leaving was to have braille lessons, so I can make you cards and notes that you will be able to understand," he tells me. I full on cried after that, how thoughtful of him to do that for me. he held me snuggled in each other's arms while I calmed down. "George you didn't have to do that for me," I tell him. I am always appreciative of what he does for me, I am sure he'll teach the others how to do it as well.
"I did, you struggle in this world enough as it is, and I just want to make things a little easier. I think it's awesome to have a new skill which means I can communicate with you a little better," he tells me. I love this, I really love this. I would never have expected for him to do something like this for me. I still can't get over that he put braille on something for me. Today's going to be a good day and I know it now. I am not even worried about the fans reaction to the video we are filming in a couple of hours. Jorel is the most worried about it purely because of the risk of the hate that I get will rise because of the video. They will call me fake and they will try bringing me down, but I am going to do my best to ignore them.
I am going to try my best to prove to them that I am blind, I don't have to prove myself to any of them, but they will try and make others believe that I am a liar and have them come after me for it. I can quite easily get the proof that I need. All I need to do is go to the doctor to get a note proof that I don't have fully formed retinas or optic nerves. My mother has also sent me the footage of me as a six month old baby crawling into the wall because I could not see where I was going. I still can't see where I am going, so nothing has really changed. My mom has also asked if she could write a statement on my behalf that can be shared on social media when the video gets released so that the fans can understand why it has taken me so long to admit what is wrong with me.
There is a knock on the door and when George opens it I hear the familiar voice of my mother. "Hello George, how's your day been?" she asks. She'll see me in a minute when she goes into the living room where I currently am. "It's been really good, the guys are coming over in a bit to film the video and Danny's happy today," George says, mom knew about my depression day yesterday and phoned me to make sure that I was alright and make sure that George is looking after me. Mom walks in and Akira sits by my legs. She's protecting me even though I know my mother is safe. "Hello Danny, are you feeling better today?" she asks me, and Akira lets her sit next to me and I hug her. "Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better now," I tell her.
I show her the medal that George had made for me and she gasped in awe. She knows braille since she was the one to teach me everything that I know about braille from an early age. "Awe George this is amazing for Danny. You're so thoughtful," she says, even she has been overwhelmed with the amount of support I have received from the guys since I had to tell them I am blind. Matt left the band before it was revealed that I am blind, but I let him know and he sent me a video message about him still being supportive anyways. I wanted him to know before we made the video, so he has no reason to get angry with us. I don't want to be the reason why Matt stops being friends with everyone and stuff like that.
Mom spends a good two hours with us before she has to go home and a few minutes after she left the rest of the guys show up. They are excited about today, and even I was beginning to have that excitement and less of the nervousness that I had before. "How safe do you feel being in the kitchen to film?" Jorel asks me. I have been in the kitchen a few times to get used to what the layout is, so I don't fall. "Totally safe, doggo will keep me safe too," I tell him, the couple of times I have left the room so far Akira has followed me to make sure I am okay, and I don't hurt myself. Akira is still at my feet ready for me to move to the next room whenever we are ready. Jordon hugs me and I hug him back.
Then George sets up the kitchen ready for the filming, I was to sit down first so that I don't get hurt I the rush to sit down and get ready for the weirdest video we will ever film. I don't really see us filming anything weirder. We all sit down and Jorel claps to make the microphone audio sync with the camera audio. It made me jump and they all laughed. "Hello, we are Hollywood Undead," Jorel says, and then we introduce ourselves. "Today we are doing the bean boozled challenge with a twist," Jordon says, and I was going to explain the twist. "The twist is when these guys get a question wrong they will blindfold themselves and pick a bean and then eat it. If I get a question wrong then I just pick a bean and eat it because I am blind," I start then take a second to figure out what I was going to say next and how I was going to explain it.
George puts his hand on my shoulder and I take a deep breath. "It is a very little known fact that I have been blind since I was born, I was born without fully formed retinas and optic nerves. My mom was a great factor in getting me to where I am today with my blindness barely affecting my day to day life," I say and then Jordon puts his hand on my shoulder. I knew it was him because they have certain ways of letting me know where they are. "Danny is an incredible person and we are keeping him in the band as it does not directly affect his ability to work with us," Jordon says, and I smile. Then we get on with the challenge. It turns out George wrote the braille cards for me, which I was still getting my head around.
I had a few beans, most were nice, but I got some really awful ones and the guys laughed. I am sure I pulled the best face for this. "Aw bless you, what was that one?" Jorel asks me, after I spat the bean out into a trashcan. "Think it was dog food," I tell him. Then Jordon got one that tasted like mouldy cheese. After that the next person to get a bean was Dylan who got the skunk spray one. George had a rotten egg and Jorel got barf. That was had to be the worst out of the lot, having said that I would have hated Dylan's one because I don't really like liquorice either. It was a lot of fun to film and we keep laughing and making jokes. I did let them have a few blind jokes and their reaction to being blindfolded for the first time now they know I am blind, and it did freak them out.
It's like they are living the way that I experience the world which opens their minds up to the struggles I am going through. "I wanna do a twenty four hour blind challenge where I try and go about my day, but I am blindfolded or wearing really dark glasses. I want to really understand how much Danny struggles with his life," Jorel says, I feel touched by that honestly. They are so nice and caring about me which is amazing. "Yeah, I learned braille so that I can keep Danny included in more things. He was pretty shocked to discover that earlier," George mentions. They just want to know how I feel so they can help me. Even when there are days when I want to cry, and I want to have a switch that suddenly turns on my eye sight. They are just there for me and try and comfort me the best that they can.
"Who wants Chinese for dinner?" Jordon asks, and we all shout me at him at the same time which makes him a little scared and I laugh. He asks us what we want and then goes to get the food and we go to relax in the living room. I asked Akira to get me a bottle of water from the fridge and a few minutes later I felt the cold bottle in my hand. "Wow, she's really going to help you a lot," Jorel says, I did feel a little lazy for asking her, but I was getting tired and I didn't want to risk hurting myself in the kitchen or grabbing something else that wasn't water. "Yeah, I am going to have to get used to giving commands like that, but that is what one of her jobs is," I tell him. Akira sits on my legs again and I just run my hands through her fur.
She is a husky dog, one of the requirements I had was she had long fur that I could lose my fingers in and safe to say she has that fur type. I smiled and just relaxed while I wait for the food to arrive. George stayed next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "I love you so much Danny," he tells me. "I love you too George," I tell him. He has got to be the best partner I have ever had. He has been the nicest partner I have ever had, I have never been able to hide my blindness from my partners and they have ended the relationship with me not long after that. George is the only one who has stayed by my side the whole time without judgement.
Later that night I fall asleep in George's arms with a heart full of love. I really have found the best person for me.
And that is the end of another one shot! Hope you enjoyed.
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