There's a voice inside my head DM x TP

Hey guys, hope you enjoy this AU

TW for those who may be affected by the content.

Deuce p.o.v

14th February 2013

Dear diary,

I didn't have the time to get a present for Danny this year. Valentine's day snuck up on me again. It always does. I let Danny chose what he wants on my laptop even though he never asks for anything from me. He is so sweet, and I am lucky to have him in my life. In 2015 we will have been together for ten years. Ten years with the love of my life doesn't seem like very long anymore. He's currently fast asleep by my side as I have gotten up quite early again. He looks so peaceful and I don't want to disturb him. He's dreaming about something nice, I can see his eyes moving underneath his eyelids while he sleeps. Everything about him is so perfect and I don't want to ruin anything that I have with him. He is too precious to loose.

The band I used to be part of wasn't too happy when they heard I was still with Danny after they kicked me out of the band and replaced me with him. I was so bitter and angry and them back then for what I thought was wrong. I realise now that they were in the right and I was in the wrong. I could never expect them to keep me as the lead singer when I wouldn't show up to the concerts or the studio time slots on time. Danny is much better suited to being in the band than I am anyways. The guys are happier now, they accept Danny and I and I thank them for it. They can see how happy I make Danny and how happy he makes me. I have stopped writing so much hate filled songs about them now. We are not as close as we used to be, but it is a start at least.

I should really plan better for next year. I know Danny is kind about me forgetting about valentine's day now, but that is not going to last forever. He is going to grow tired of being asked every year to chose something online or from a store for himself because I have been the idiot and forgotten again. The one thing I can remember is the soppy valentine's day posts on social media I do every year. We had a huge couple photo shoot done back in 2009 and I still haven't used all of the pictures from it. I said to the photographer that I wanted as many pictures as they could fit on their memory card and I would pay for it. I know that one day Danny is going to go old and I am going to be old and I have all these pictures from when we were younger to look back on.

Maybe this year I should also just go ahead and buy Danny a new guitar. He has been needing a new one for a while and it could be a belated valentine's day present from me and also a good way to make up for forgetting for the last 7 years of our relationship. Since we started dating in October I can't say we have been together for eight years just yet. I will remember the 15th of October for the rest of my life. The day I asked Danny to be mine and he said yes. I need an equally amazing date for when I ask him to marry me. I am planning on doing it in 2016 or maybe 2015 after our tenth anniversary. I haven't quite made up my mind about it. I need to make it the best day possible though, I want Danny to say yes.

For now though, I will just hold him tightly. Show him every day how much he really means to me. He doesn't deserve any of the harm that I have brought him with the music I have made. If someone asked me who was better in the Danny v Deuce debate I will ALWAYS pick Danny. He is just more musically talented than I am, I can't reach half the notes he can, and I certainly can't scream as well as he can.

I put the diary down, looking at it's battered cover. It has been badly abused by me in the last couple of years of me owning it. It is full of dents and imperfections all over the covers. I never bother locking it, I have it hidden in my drawer in a box. No one ever looks in the box from what I know. Or at least they haven't told me that they have seen it. There are a lot of dark entries in there, things I keep from Danny. Danny worries about my mental health enough as it is, I don't need to give him more of a reason to worry. I browse various guitar selling sites looking for the perfect guitar for my Danny no matter what the cost is. I made the order and closed the lid of the laptop just as Danny woke up. It takes him a couple of minutes to wake up properly, but I didn't want the surprise to be ruined because he saw what it is too soon.

"Morning Danny," I tell him, and smile when he smiles at me. I kiss him on the cheek, he doesn't kiss back. I am not mad though, I don't always get a kiss first thing in the morning. He is really sleepy this morning, he rubbed his eyes as he sat up then hugged me. "Morning Aron," he tells me, and I smile again. He always makes me smile. There is a knock on the door, and it was George with breakfast for the three of us. "Morning Aron, morning Danny," he tells us, then I see it. The medication that I was put on and I still to this day don't understand why I have been put on it. I feel fine without it. I look to George and down to the medication before hastily downing the pills before the big guy can get mad.

"It's just to keep you and Danny safe. You know that Aron," George tells me. I sigh, remembering the incident that let to all of this. The scars all over Danny's body cause by my anger that he was the innocent victim of. I nearly killed the poor guy before George intervened. He got me professional help and it helped keep Danny and I together. George walks out of the room when we are done with breakfast, he likes to make sure I take my medication then I am not sure what he does with his day after that. "Happy Valentine's day Danny. I ordered your gift and it should get here soon I promise. I didn't forget this time," I tell Danny who looks at me in a little bit of shock. He wasn't expecting me to remember what today was.

"Happy Valentine's day Aron. Does this mean you'll remember every year then," he says, and then nudges me before laughing. Oh his laugh, it always sounds like music to my ears. I could hear him laughing all day and not become tired of it. "Yes Danny, I will do my best to remember valentine's day every year from here on out," I tell him, and he smiles at me. Then I get my kiss on the cheek from him. I wrap my arms around the little lion and smile when I feel his heart beat next to mine in perfect sync. "I am holding you to that Aron," he tells me after a minute of thinking, and I laugh. He is my little angel and I want to keep him safe and away from any harm that could be around. I feel Danny wrap his arms around me and nuzzles his face into my shoulder.

"You can hold me to that Danny. I know you will like the gift when it arrives," I tell him. There isn't anything else I can really do today. I know that I have an anger management therapy session later. Danny does not want to come with me this time, the therapist decided to trigger my anger and I had hit Danny in my rage. So it is safe to say that the experience has put Danny off from going to any future anger management appointments that I had. He is still happy that I am going, and he is supporting me from the side-lines for now. "I hope so, I mean there is nothing to suggest that you would send me something I would hate," he tells me. I can't wait for the gift to arrive in the mail. I ordered express shipping so that it would arrive as soon as possible.

The rest of the day went better than it had for ages. I had a positive appointment and Danny had left some chocolates and flowers for me when I got home. He said he had to go visit his mom so he would be back in a little while which was fine by me. I wasn't going to stop him, he'd become fearful of me if I did that and that is the last thing that I want right now. Poor Danny needs to spend more time with his family. I know he has more family he hasn't seen for a while, so I will be encouraging him to visit more of his family including his older brother Rigo. He definitely has not seen his brother for years now.

4th March 2013

Dear Diary,

Today is a dark day, Danny left me. He said that he couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't take my temper any more. I had smashed his new guitar over his head last night in anger. He loved that guitar, I have a video of him opening it. I still keep the video on my phone, I look at it everyday to remind myself of what I have lost through my stupidity. Danny means so much to me and I have thrown our relationship all away. I have a small chance of getting Danny back, but it is a VERY small chance. I don't think Danny will take me back now after everything that I have done. He has several people queuing to be his boyfriend or girlfriend. With looks like his, I know that he won't be single for very long. I just wish I had not done what I had done.

I thought that I was too good for all of the anger management therapy sessions I had left. I was doing so well at keeping my anger at bay on my own. Or so I thought I was. How naive of me to think that. I should have stuck to the therapy sessions. I only had a month of sessions left before I would have graduated successfully. I have now ruined that, if I go back to the therapist then I will have to do another month of therapy before they can clear me. I have to have a certain number of days without an incident and I have reset that days counter with my anger attack on Danny. I honestly regret now that I have ever hit Danny in my anger. I should have taken it out on myself and not him. We would still be together if I was smart about it.

I had been talking to Jorel on the day of the attack I was trying to calm myself down before what happened did happen. Danny has told him that he had enough of my anger, and it being taken out on him all the time. That is fair enough, Danny is the innocent victim in all of this, and I should at least say sorry to him. I don't know if I can make it up to him about this. It will take me a long time to fix all the mistakes that I have made when it comes to Danny and I's relationship. I talked to George as well when he came to make sure I took my meds this morning. He was rightfully angry and me for what I had done. He had not heard from Danny, but he told me after he contacted Jordon that Danny had gone to his house.

I feel happy that Danny is safe, and I know I should have been the one to have kept him safe and I know I fucked up on that. I sent a message through George's phone to Jordon to tell him to pass a message onto Danny that I was sorry for what I had done. I quickly received a message back which basically told me to get fucked and to never go near Danny again. I suppose that is fair enough, I know have been an asshole to everyone around us. I have royally fucked up, Matt does not want to see me and neither does everyone else which I guess includes Danny now. George doesn't particularly want to see me either, but he is only here to make sure that I take my medication and don't hurt anyone else because of my anger issues.

I like having a diary like this, it can help me understand all of the times that I have fucked up and gone wrong and how I can fix it and prevent future incidences occurring. It has not worked as well as I have hoped yet. One day I can write in this and say that I have gone a month, six months, a year or even ten years without an anger management incident. One day I will be able to say that I have a partner that I have not harmed because of my issues. That would be the dream life honestly, I would love to be able to control my anger in a way that would be best for everyone involved in my life. My own sister wants nothing to do with me because of all of this.

As I close the diary again, a peace of crumbled paper fell out. You could tell that it has been scrunched up and then unfolded several times out of anger. Even now I can't control my anger properly and I hate it. Danny always wrote song lyrics in my bedroom. This was one of them, he knew a kid a very talented kid called Nathan Sykes and he sent Danny the lyrics for his song writing and Danny decided he was going to write the lyrics for the chorus properly for the song called Lightning because he said that he felt it summed up our relationship for the time that he had written it. Obviously we are not together anymore so I guess it doesn't really count. I pick up the paper from the floor and read the hand writing I will never see again.

13th March 2009

When your lips touch mine

It's the kiss of life

I know

I know that it's a little bit frightening

We might as well be playing

With lightning

We touch like,

Like it's our first time

Oh oh

I know that it's a little bit frightening

We might as well be playing

With lightning now

Danny Rose Murillo xx 3

I let a few tears fall. I really have ruined it all. I have turned the man that I loved with all my heart against me. I will probably get a message in a few days when Danny has had time to think it over and he will tell me that he never wants to see me again. I guess that is fair, I made him frightened of me when he should have just been in love with me. I should have made sure that he was going to come running into my arms instead of running away in fear like he did last night. I set fire to the guitar in anger too. I can't even apologise to him and say I got it fixed. I would replace it, but he is probably going to reject it. I can't say that I blame him for that. I would let him smash the replacement guitar over my head if he would ever see me again.

I would let him do all the things to me that I have done to him over the years. I would let him beat me to a bloody pulp just so I could really experience what he felt when I hurt him. I think it would be a good idea to let Danny take all of the pent up anger and frustration he must feel about what I have done out on me. I would let George, Dylan, Jorel, Jordon or Matt take their anger out on me too and even on Danny's behalf if that is what they wanted. I know Matt would jump at the chance to beat me to a pulp. I keep Danny's song lyrics back in the dairy and put the diary back where it belongs. George walks in, I had slept in late, so it's set my medication schedule out. I take the pills without question.

George is very angry, I could tell in his body language. "You should be fucking thankful that Danny has decided not to press charges on you for everything that you have done. You should be thankful that Danny hasn't died yet because of what you have done to him," George says, and I admit defeat by lowering my head and looking at my socks. He is totally right though, I need to get a grip on my anger. I could have killed Danny at any point while I was angry. Any time I attacked Danny could have been the last time I ever laid my hands on him. I could have gone too far at any time I attacked Danny during our relationship.

I let George punch me once before he left. He said that he was going to stop coming over now. I have ruined it for myself and I should feel the loneliness that I deserve. Give me some time to think about what I have done wrong. I wrote in my diary that I knew that there was a small chance that he would say yes to me asking him back out. I know now that the answer he would give me is a big fat no. I was happy that he didn't tell the police that I had hurt him all these years. He has every right to do so though. He could have exposed me for the horrible bastard I really am inside, and he could have ruined my life like I have done his. He could have made me serve jail time he could have written songs about me.

He has chosen not to though and I will be forever grateful to him for doing that. I should have the fucking book thrown at me for everything. I suppose no contact with Danny would be for the best for now. Maybe once all of this has calmed down somewhat I should attempt to fix my mistakes, but first I need to work on myself. I need to make sure that I know exactly where I have gone wrong and how I can make things right to fix all of my now ruined friendships. Although I shouldn't say that I can fix all of my friendships because the most likely thing is that I am going to have them permanently broken because they will hate me. I should hate myself so much for what I have done to my friends and family.

I think some more, then I get out the paper again with the lyrics. I already miss Danny's perfect handwriting. The way he spends time to draw the perfect love heart on everything that he sends me. the way that he fills in the heart with either a red pencil or a red crayon he has scraped the top layer off, so it is smooth. It is these simple things that I love the most about the way Danny wrote to me. I wish I had kept more of the letters that Danny had written to me over the years we have been together. I am pretty sure I have a bunch in a box somewhere. I just need to find that box when I feel up to looking in the attic of my house. I am not sure why I put them up there so soon. Maybe it was to keep them safe.

I look further into the diary and found one more letter from Danny. It was from 2009 like the song lyrics and I pause. I carefully put the lyrics back into the diary. Like the lyrics sheet I had found, this one was clearly another victim of my rage attacks. This one more so than the song lyrics one. It was like I had taken more care with the lyrics than I had this love letter from Danny. The love letter I probably never deserved in the first place. I take my time to read it, let it sink into this dumb brain of mine what I have actually lost for good now. He has been so patient with me and I see that now, he was so incredibly patient with me through the years and I was the one to throw it back in his face. I regret all of this now.

14th February 2009

Dear Aron,

Thank you for remembering today's date. I was so surprised by everything that happened today. I am never really mad at you for forgetting because in my mind this date is not as important as our anniversary. I just felt disappointed sometimes because we miss out on amazing date days like we had today. I would love to have many more of these with you. It doesn't matter how little it costs as long as we both have fun. I love you so much and I don't want this love to be wasted because I know you love me too. Let's have many more days like today.

Love Danny xx 3

I never deserved any of this. Even this letter heavily proves that Danny was incredibly patient with me and I was just too blind to see it at the time. Now that we are not together anymore it just makes me regret not spending more time with Danny like he clearly asked for at the end of the letter. We didn't really have many date days after that. We did have dates though when he wasn't busy with the bands he was in. They were only short ones to a local café or restaurant, and they were probably no where near as often as Danny would have liked them to be. Not as often as he deserved either if I was being completely honest with myself. Danny deserves the best in life, and I am sure where he is now he is getting it.

Third person p.o.v

"So remind me why we have to handcuff this one if he leaves the room?" A young, newly qualified doctor asks as he walks up to the padded cell door. "This one is a dangerous one, he is here to serve a lot of life sentences for what he has done to his friends, but the judge deemed him to insane to be in prison because of how he acted since his arrest," the older, more experience doctor explains. There was to be more explaining to be done about this patient in particular, but they had to be away from eavesdroppers first. The man was in the room rocking himself clutching a battered piece of paper tightly to his chest. The doctors decided to leave the man to his rocking, they wouldn't wanna take the risk of angering him.

The more experienced doctor takes the new hire into his office. There was a thick file on the desk in a storage box labled "Criminally insane patients". The new doctor noticed that there were not many files within that box and the patient he had just seen is the owner of the biggest one. "You're going to want to sit down for this. The explanation that goes with the patient you just saw takes a while because as you can see his file is pretty big," the more experienced doctor explains and puts the file on the desk so that the new doctor could see the name before he starts going through what the man had done to wind up here to serve his criminal sentence which from the sounds of it was a few pretty fucked up things.

Patient name: Aron Erlichman

Date of Birth: 02/03/1982

Sentence: 5 x life without parole

"Woah, that's the former lead singer of Hollywood Undead right?" the new doctor asks, in shock that a guy like him would end up in a place like this and he was curious to find out what he did in order to gain these 5 life sentences. "Yep, all of his victims are most of the members of Hollywood Undead. Only Matthew Busek remains now, and he wants nothing to do with the guy now. Quite rightfully so when you hear what the twisted man has done," the doctor says, as he opens up the file. There was more patient information which the new doctor read over. Then there were five pictures with names next to them. Daniel, George, Jorel, Jordon and Dylan. The five men that Aron has probably done some horrible things to.

"We'll start of with this guy's story," the doctor called Kevin tells the younger man who was named Steve. Kevin points to the picture of Daniel and flips over a page where there was a short paragraph. "Daniel was the boyfriend of Aron, although I have heard Aron still though Danny was dating him until today. Aron has anger management issues as well as the fact that he hears and sees his victims on a regular basis. Aron abused Danny and took the anger out on the poor lad whenever possible. Danny was found dead in their shared apartment on the date of their fifth dating anniversary. He just could not go one with what happened between the two of them," Kevin explains, and shows the photocopy of the young man's suicide note which confirmed all of the abuse which was then later used alongside the diary Danny kept which detailed more of it.

Daniel Rose Murillo

D.O.B: 21/11/1985 – D.O.D 15/10/2010

Cause: Suicide following years of domestic abuse.

"Woah that poor guy, he must have been pretty nice to put up with all that for as long as he did. He died so young too. He had a great future with Hollywood Undead from what I heard," Steve says. Then the page is turned to Jorel. "This guy used to be best friends with Aron, always told him about where he was going wrong in the hopes that he would be able to save Aron's friendships and relationships. He was incredibly angry with Aron after they discovered that Aron was the ultimate cause of Danny's death and they had a huge fight. The next time Jorel was in the studio he was killed in a fire which was caused by Aron who refuses to accept any responsibility for Danny's death even though the judge said he did," Kevin says and let's that sink in while Steve looks at the paragraph.

Jorel Decker

D.O.B: 01/05/1984 – D.O.D 02/01/2011

Cause: Studio fire caused by Aron.

"Woah, you can definitely tell that Aron is messed up. All Jorel wanted to do was to help him safe himself from himself," Steve says, feeling sorry for all of the victims even if he didn't quite know what the crimes were. The next photo was of George, the paragraph looked similar to Jorel's. "George was the one who made sure that Aron took his medicine once Danny had told him about the anger problem Aron has. Aron always had this anger that George knew about the anger so when Jorel and George were in the studio at the same time he saw the perfect opportunity to get both people who he deemed troublesome out of his life. George had no chance of surviving that fire either. The other three were lucky that they were not in the studio themselves that day otherwise the death toll would have been five not two," Kevin says. it does not take Steve long to read the little paragraph about George.

George Arthur Ragan

D.O.B: 24/06/1981 – D.O.D 02/01/2011

Cause: Studio fire caused by Aron.

Steve did not know what to say anymore. This guy was definitely insane now. "The next two's stories link pretty well with each other as the death of one caused the death of the other two days before Aron was caught and charged with his crimes. Dylan was on the side-lines when it came to what happened to the other three. He was angry, but he mostly kept that to himself. Aron had become afraid about Dylan exposing him for the monster he really is so he murdered Dylan in his own apartment at 3 am Jordon found them both the next day since he was worried about Dylan and Aron kinda went and murdered him too to make sure that he stayed quiet," Kevin says, if Steve was speechless before then he was definitely speechless now.

Dylan Alvarez

D.O.B: 11/04/1986 – D.O.D 03/03/2011

Cause: Murdered by Aron.

Jordon Kristopher Terrell

D.O.B: 03/09/1985 – D.O.D 04/03/2011

Cause: Murdered by Aron.

There was one thing Steve knew for sure. He was not going to be in the same room as Aron alone like ever. It made sense to Steve why the guy had to be treated like the maximum security prisoner he should be if he was not so fucked up in the head. "That makes sense, kinda makes you wish that the death penalty was brought back for people like this," Steve says, the last execution to occur in California was back in 2006. 4 years before Aron committed his first crime. Steve knew when he went home from work that day he was going to have to keep a very close eye on Aron indeed. He also wanted to pay his respects to the poor innocent victims. They didn't want to die, but they had to so Aron could live.

And that marks the end of another one shot. Hope you enjoyed. Really curious to know what you guys think of this one so if ya wanna drop a comment than that's fine by me. Requests are still taken and see ya next time.

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