Naofumi Iwatani, Megumin, Satou Kazuma. Fanfiction 3. Chapter 8: Devils and queens

Kazuma is currently in Axel's teleport store haggling for a price, and unfortunately, they don't accept Melromarc's currency and he forgot to pick up any Eris from the mansion. The owner of the store also didn't believe that he was the real Kazuma Satou, because of a mix between his feats being glorified beyond recognition and all the people impersonating him. Yeah, apparently killing a demon king isn't enough, you also need to be virtuous, brave and handsome. Kazuma looked more like a man that sat around for most of the day doing nothing. There was one place he could acquire some Eris, and he was currently walking towards the founding store of Belzberg's biggest franchise, "Vaniwiz".

Kazuma walked up to the front side of the store and looked at it, he remembered the times this store had been in the red, barely surviving on the little traffic his party gave it, and later thriving on Kazuma's Japanese inventions that he sold to Vanir.

(Lucky me, looks like it is little traffic today) He noted before he opened the door and he immediately heard a voice he recognized.

"WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU BUY SO MANY EXPERIENCE POTIONS?!" Vanir yelled in a frustrated voice at his friend and business partner, Wiz.

"I thought it was a good idea, they always sell well," Wiz tried to defend herself while trying her best to not sob.

"They sell well in WINTER, it is springtime, and does Moi need to remind thee that these Experience potions expire after 4 months, they will be worthless by the time they would be viable for sale!" Vanir continued.

"I-I am sorry, I thought it was a good idea to buy them since he sold them for so little, please forgive me Vanir," She pleaded with the devil.

"That is not the only problem, you also bought super-high-quality manatite, have you forgotten this is a starter town, that means the inhabitants here will never be able to afford it"

Kazuma just took a chair from the window and sat down, if he had popcorn that would just make this nostalgic scene better. However, Wiz in her frantic look for a way out of this uncomfortable situation landed her eyes on him, a possible customer.

"V-Vanir look, a customer, you promised to stop reprimanding me in front of customers," Wiz pointed to Kazuma that gave a quick wave to Vanir when his eyes landed on him.

"HAHAHA!" Vanir burst out into deep laughter as he saw the man and instantly recognized him.

"Moi sees no customer dare naïve shopkeeper, Moi sees an old business partner," Vanir answered with glee, the sight of Kazuma clearly invigorated him with energy.

"Who is he?" Wiz asked, clearly confused.

"This dare shopkeeper is the once young brat that in the past used to walk in here with a useless goddess, masochistic crusader and a crazy explosive loli, and he is now back again to sell a new invention to Moi," Vanir declared to his old friend, as he gracefully gestured to Kazuma.

"B-but th-that would mean, it is, Kazuma!" her gaze darted over to Kazuma to get confirmation. "KAZUMA!?"

"Yes, I am Kazuma," he said in his usual monotone fashion, which made Wiz leap across the counter and tackle him down into a bear hug.

"So good to see you again, would you like some tea, no cookies, how about muffins, I have some cake left, oh I got it what about some biscuits, what about-"

"STOP! I have been tackled enough the last couple of days," Kazuma half-complained as he didn't have any problems with huge boobs being pressed against him, but being tackled to the ground by very powerful people wasn't good for his back.

"Oh, I apologize, I didn't want to be a bother, I am just happy to see an old friend again," She timidly said as she helped Kazuma up off the floor.

"It is fine, I should have expected this by now, but onto more pressing matters, Vanir I am in need of some money, would you be interested in a new invention?" Kazuma asked with a sly grin on his face.

"Moi would be most interested in this new invention, does though have a working prototype?"

"Not on me at this very moment, but I am pretty sure I can make one right here and now, I have been working with them for a long time after all, in case I ever ended up here again,"

"Well, please make it for Moi, so thou prize can be set,"

"Bring me some materials first, I need some steel, high-quality carbon, gunpowder, oil, lead, bronze, and beer,"

"Moi can bring you the materials, while the shopkeeper will provide thee with your refreshments," Vanir complied in a bow.

After 30 minutes Vanir had provided Kazuma with all the materials he requested. Kazuma with his smiting skills started to make something this world had never seen before, he was making a machine gun and bullets.

"Vanir I need I place I can shoot this thing," Kazuma said as he loaded one of the bullets into his copy of an M4A1 and cocked it.

"Shoot the wall, not even that weapon should be able to penetrate the walls of this shop," Vanir said with confidence as he gestured to the wall.

"What is it Kazuma?" Wiz asked in astonishment.

"This is Wiz is a machinegun, but to put it into a perspective you can understand, this is a modern bow," he said gently patting the gun, "And this is a bullet, or thunder arrow if you want, it is easier to show you,"

Kazuma pressed down the trigger and an ear-deafening bang rang out through the local, as a tiny hole appeared in the wall where Kazuma had been aiming.

(A couple of earplugs would probably have been smart to make first) Kazuma thought to himself as he felt the painful ringing fade and his hearing returned.

"Moi is not interested in weapons, yes they might earn me a lot of money, but that would mean less food for Moi as you humans kill each other off," Kazuma instantly got a face filled with disappointment, which made Vanir grin even more.

"Mwahahaha, These dark emotions are wonderful, the disappointment from learning your invention is utterly worthless to me is terrific, Moi can, however, produce a few replicas of this for the dishonorable hero, for a price of course,"

"How much do you want for making 3 replicas and 10 000 bullets?" Kazuma asked suspicious of the devil.

"Moi wants all these worthless items this useless shopkeeper has bought sold off for the work with the weapons thou wishes to use to help thine eldest son, which will be 1 billion for each child that thou will procure," Vanir said with an evil smirk.

"Oh, how many will that be?!" Wiz asked.

"5 billion in total," Vanir confidently declared

"How did you know about Index?" Kazuma said in shock.

"WHAT!" Vanir and Wiz exclaimed, both equally shocked.

"Shit, you didn't know," Kazuma realized as his face grew beet red.

"Hahaha, Moi expected to get these dark emotions of embarrassment from revealing your night with thine explosive obsessed wife, but this is a great unexpected surprise. The price also increased to 6 billion Eris," Vanir said while overflowing with glee.

Wiz just stood by the counter as she stared at Kazuma with wide eyes, clearly, these news came as a big shock to her, and she didn't handle shock the same way Vanir clearly reveled in it.

"Wait, 6 billion, but that means,"

/Meanwhile in Naofumi's carriage

"UH, I am feeling sick," Megumin complained as she threw away the helmet she has just thrown up in.

"I have never seen you sick before mom," Naofumi noted.

"That is because I am never si-UHH," Megumin tried to protest as she bent over and threw up even more into another helmet.

"Well it would be troublesome if you got sick right now, the platter is kind of full already," Naofumi said with concern as he handed her another helmet.

"Master Naofumi helped me when I was sick, so in worst case scenario you will be fine," Raphtalia both praised Naofumi and reassured Megumin.

"So soft," Melty mumbled half-asleep as she slept in Filo's feathers with Chomusuke laying on top of her head.

"At least someone is comfortable," Megumin noted as she looked at the three of them sleeping soundly while clutching her stomach.

"We should make a plan about what to do when those three wake up, any ideas Raphtalia?"

"Master Naofumi, our main task is to get rid of this bounty on us, right?"

"Correct"

"Then couldn't we just hand the princess back to the royal family?"

"No, that won't work since we don't know who wants to kill that girl or keep her safe, clearly even her own family wants her dead based on the soldiers to attack," Naofumi explained while handing another helmet over to Megumin.

"What about- someone is watching us!" Raphtalia suddenly whispered to Naofumi as she drew her sword.

"Where?" Naofumi whispered back while acting totally normal.

"Up in the trees by the mushroom growth, one of the branches are bent unnaturally," Raphtalia explained as she started to stoke the fire with her sword.

"Ok, {Shield prison}!" Naofumi chanted surrounding the branch with a metal ball before it crashed into the ground waking everyone.

"FILO INTRUDER, ON YOUR FEET!" Naofumi shouted as Raphtalia jumped to the metal ball with her sword readied.

"Where are the enemies?" Filo groggily asked as she shook the two others off her, waking Melty and Chomusuke as the soft bed moved over to Naofumi.

"In the metal ball over there!" Naofumi quickly informed in a stern tone as he pointed towards the metal ball Raphtalia was aiming her sword at.

"OH!" The big bird exclaimed out in realization as she changed her expression and got behind the metal ball with her claws ready.

"On three I will release the spell, and then you two have to detain the intruder, understood?!" Naofumi ordered with a serious and intimidating expression.

"YES!" Raphtalia and Filo quickly answered.

"1, 2 and 3!" The metal ball disappeared just as Raphtalia and Filo jumped the intruder, not even giving them as much as a split-second to try and escape.

Naofumi stepped up to the intruder with his shield ready to cast another spell if necessary. "Who are!?" Naofumi demanded, but the intruder was clearly not intimidated by him, they didn't even as much as flinch.

"I am many things, but your enemy I am not, I dare say," a woman answered in a calm and collected manner like this was a daily occurrence for her.

"Oh, it is my shadow," Melty suddenly shot in as she got up behind Naofumi while sleepily rubbing her eyes.

"Princess Melty, would you say you are in any danger?" The masked woman asked.

"No, the shield hero is the one that saved me from an assassination attempt orchestrated by my sister," Melty explained as formal as she could muster to be in her half-asleep state.

"How are you so certain it was only your sister and not also your father? It was his soldiers that were accompanying you," Naofumi quickly argues, still not fully trusting the newcomer.

"If my father would have been behind this despicable attempt on my life, I would most certainly be dead, now! Even if it hurts me to admit it, my sister is manipulative, spoiled and power-hungry," Melty reluctantly informed Naofumi.

"You called her "your" shadow, what is her role?" Raphtalia asked, not lowering her blade for even a second.

"The shadows are the eyes and ears of the queen and future queen of Melromarc, this one specifically is my protector, so would you please lower your weapons?" Melty asked in a formal manner.

"Master Naofumi, it is your decision," Filo and Raphtalia said while still holding the shadow down.

"If you try anything, or tell anyone where we are, I will personally hunt you down, UNDERSTOOD?!" Naofumi threatened.

"Very well, the queen will be informed that her daughter is well, but your travel plans and positions will stay confidential," The shadow confirmed with a tone that carried no emotions.

"Fine then, release her," Naofumi ordered, but still holding a spell ready if the shadow tried anything rash.

To the relief of Naofumi, the shadow slowly rose a few seconds after Raphtalia and Filo released them.

"May I examine your companion, to find out what has afflicted her?" The shadow asked while gesturing to the still throwing up Megumin.

"If you want to get close to her you must first, drop all your weapons, then, strip away your clothes," Naofumi commanded, which made all the girls stare at him in disbelief.

"You can ignore the sec-" Melty was cut off as the shadow started to speak.

"A careful man I see, the queen will be pleased to know her daughter is in such capable hands," the shadow praised Naofumi before she started to remove her cloak.

It was instantly clear that she was a well-built woman, as she removed more and more pieces of clothing and armor. Just as Naofumi expected the woman had all sorts of weapons behind her clothes. She carried daggers, a sword, a flint-lock pistol, a blowgun with darts, throwing knives and different bottles of potions and poisons. Clearly the shadow had no problems with being watched, nor did she give off any signs that she liked it.

"Also remove the mask, NOW!" Naofumi ordered, which the shadow quickly complied with.

"My face has been seen, but I beg of you to forget it," The woman pleaded.

"We won't remember you as long as you don't do anything we won't forget," Naofumi again threatened.

"Very well, but rest assured I am only here to help," The shadow informed before she walked over to Megumin, which was now drinking water.

"Would you be fine with me touching you?" The shadow calmly asked, which Megumin tiredly nodded too.

First, the shadow puts the back of her hand to Megumin's forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever, have you eaten anything that the others have not?"

"No, we have all eaten the same meals," Megumin informed.

"Have you had any sexual relations recently?" She questioned which made Megumin start to blush slightly.

"Yes, but whenever I have been pregnant, I get food cravings," Megumin whispered back to the woman inspecting her.

"So you have been pregnant before?" she asked.

"Twice,"

"When was your last pregnancy?"

"About 18 years ago," Megumin answered in a more collected tone.

"Have you changed partners since then?" The shadow was clearly unfazed by what Megumin said.

"NO!" Megumin quickly answered clearly offended by the question.

"{Life check}" The shadow chanted as a blue light emerged from her hand and she put her hand to Megumin's stomach, before she took her hand away, her hand now glowing green.

"You are pregnant, I dare say," The shadow informed in the same manner as always, before she stood up and walked over to her clothes, weapons, and armor. Quickly and efficiently redressing herself.

"I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN!" Megumin burst out in joy, now totally ignoring the nauseous feeling from just throwing up a few seconds ago. Which shocked everyone standing nearby, except of course the shadow that quickly vanished as the others rushed over to Megumin.

/Meanwhile with the other three "heroes"

"What a devil, kidnapping my poor defenseless little sister," Who… I mean Myne cursed with feigned sorrow.

"I promise you we will beat that moron into a pulp and safely retrieve her," Motoyasu said in a comforting tone as he tried to pet her head, but when the red wig started to shift she batted his hand away.

"Why would he kidnap the princess?" Itsuki wondered out loud.

"Yeah, what is it he could gain from holding the princess captive?" Ren retorted.

"He is clearly a beast that thinks of women as mere objects, so this doesn't surprise me in the least," Motoyasu butted in.

"It is clear to me that he wishes to extort the royal family by holding my poor naïve sister hostage," Myn… I mean whore explained to the other heroes. (That is at least what I would do.)

"What a stupid idea, how does he expect to get away with that even if he gets what he wants," Ren mockingly interjected.

"Sir hero, we found some tracks belonging to a wagon, with footprints belonging to a filolial," a soldier informed them as he ran back to the heroes.

"Follow it!" Motoyasu commanded as he started to run with the soldier, with the rest of the group quickly following after.

After a few minutes of running, they found an abandoned wagon in great condition, hidden behind some trees and leaves. The wagon had a note which stated:

Well hello there idiots, I know you won't believe me but the princess isn't kidnapped, I saved her from an assassination attempt, and until that truth is known I am going to watch over her.

Myne quickly set the note on fire before anyone else could read it. "That bastard is mocking us, we must kill that devil quickly, FIND THEM!" She ordered as the search parties started to spread out again.

/Meanwhile with Naofumi's party

"Why did we leave the carriage behind master Naofumi, Megumin is pregnant after all, wouldn't it be easier to move her around with it?" Filo questioned.

"Filo I am pregnant, not crippled," Megumin quickly protested as she started to walk past her with vigor.

"We left it behind since it is easy to track us when we have a carriage, and if they find it and doesn't burn it we will come back to it,"

"You promise?" she questioned hopefully.

"Yeah, I promise," Naofumi shot her a gentle smile as they kept walking up the mountain.

"Where are we going anyway?" Raphtalia asked

"To Siltvelt,"

"Why to Siltvelt master Naofumi?" She queried.

"Since the security is so high, probably means they don't want us to get there," Naofumi answered.

"Which means we are definitively going to get there," Megumin confidently stated.

"What makes you so sure lady?" Melty asked while trying to assess the confident mage in-front of her.

"Because whenever I have been out on an adventure, even if the road was bumpy, I have always reached the destination and been able to relax with my companions afterward," Megumin said with vigor and Melty could see experience emanating from her, like a shit-ton of experience, this woman was over-leveled beyond belief.

/Meanwhile in Wiz's and Vanir's shop

"Since Moi can't read thine thoughts about this child, the mother must be divine, so did you really have sex with that useless goddess?" Vanir asked with clear interest, a man that can predict almost anything had a tendency to never be surprised so this was great entertainment.

"NO! FUCK NO, that is just disgusting to think about," Kazuma quickly answered Vanir.

"Moi thinks to be in close relations with gods is revolting regardless, but if that waste-of-a-space-goddess was the mother to one of your children, Moi would certainly double the price," Vanir was clearly showing both relief and disgust, Kazuma couldn't decide which one was more prominent.

"Let us make a bet Vanir, if you can guess who is the mother to my 5th child, I will give you two inventions for free, but if you guess wrong you have to give me your help for free. Do you take it?" Kazuma said with a smug smile.

"Ah yes, Moi accepts these terms," Vanir quickly said while smacking his hand together.

"Go ahead then Vanir, guess,"

"Moi needs to think about it, there are three suspects that seem likely, Eris, Regina, and Wolbach. Regina definitively took a liking to you, and I can smell Wolbach all over you, but Eris is the goddess of luck, and you are extremely lucky. It would have had to have happened before you went to Japan, but the masochistic crusader took your virginity so it must have taken place after that. Moi remembers feeling a mighty magical aura descend from heaven, the same day you went missing. So since the other two are dark goddesses Moi would say, thou slept with the goddess Eris!" Vanir finally guessed after presenting his detective work.

"Fuck," Kazuma said as he just stood there looking dejectedly as Vanir burst out into more laughter.

"HAHAHA! The disappointment from thinking you are going to win just for Moi to rip the victory away from thine grasp as Moi solves the puzzle, it is quite nostalgic, to say the least."

"Ok, I am going to make you a phone prototype and cellphone tower prototype," Kazuma said while waving his hand.

"Wonderful, but right now it is in Moi's best self-interest to get thou to the capital, Wiz teleport this man so he can go and grab the money he needs to do business with me," Vanir suddenly ordered like a general.

"Are you ready Kazuma?" Wiz meekly asked

"Give me a sec," Kazuma said as he started to pat himself down, he would leave the gun and the bullets here with Vanir, but he needed the mask and the katana. "Ok, send me away," Kazuma said as he gave her a thumbs up.

"Say hello to Darkness from me, {Teleport}" Wiz chanted as a blue ring formed around him and in the next second he was gone from the store.

Kazuma suddenly appeared in the capital right next to a cabbage seller, which startled both the seller and all his cabbages. The ruckus escalated so much that some of the cabbages managed to escape their prison and booked it for freedom, making the cabbage seller run after them waving with his net furiously.

"Heh, if Darkness was here they would try to crash into her massive boobs," Kazuma remarked before he started to make his way to the castle.

When he got to the castle instead of wasting time trying to prove his identity he just used {Lurk} and went into the castle. Clearly none of the guards noticed him. Kazuma first wanted to check the throne room, which as luck would have it had the queen sitting on her throne with a bored expression.

She sat on the throne in a dress made out of gold and silk, and a shield pattern in silver sewn in at the edges of her dress. Her golden blonde hair was formed into neatly braided horsetail. If Kazuma didn't know any better he would've thought her boobs had gotten bigger. It didn't look like time had done anything to her either because her face looked just as flawless as he could remember.

(Well, she does look kind of tired, maybe a cold shower would wake her up) Kazuma thought as he raised his hand towards her. "{Create water}" Kazuma chanted, making a giant stream of water shoot out of his hand and instantly dowsing his old friend soaking wet.

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED!? DID YOU DO THIS?!" She frantically questioned the man that just appeared in the room.

"Yes," Kazuma simply responded with.

"And what makes you think that suddenly spraying me down with ice-cold water would achieve?" Darkness queried trying her best to hide a smile at this sudden surprise.

"Let me see, it is the best welcome gift I could think of, for my masochistic friend after I return from Japan,"

Now Darkness just stood there in shock before she looked at him with some more scrutiny, "Prove it, what would Kazu-"

"{STEAL}!" Kazuma cut her off as he chanted his spell and a blue light formed in his hand, and when it resided he stood there with a pair of soaking wet panties.

"Hmm, white," Kazuma casually stated as he looked back at the still soaking wet Darkness.

"Kazuma," she uttered in disbelief, "Kazuma," she said as the realization started to dawn on her, "KAZUMA!" She screamed in joy as she leaped forward to tackle him into a bear hug. However, she only face-planted into the floor since Kazuma having learned by now what to expect took a sidestep to avoid his back getting smacked into the floor for a 4th time.

"Yes, I am Kazuma," He said in his usual tired tone.

"Why did you dodge?" Darkness asked clearly a little hurt (mentally), with a big smile on her face.

"Because it hurts to be smacked into the ground, that's why I dodged, plus you are soaking wet," Kazuma informed her with a cold and blunt tone.

"What are you doing here? Have you met our kids? How is Megumin doing? Have you had any children? When did you-,"

"CAN YOU SHUT UP, ONE QUESTION AT A TIME, but since you ask. I need your help, yes I have met Robin and Masaharu, Megumin is pregnant, and yes we already have 2 boys," Kazuma answered rapidly.

"Megumin gets to be pregnant for a third time, lucky," Darkness said with envy.

"How was being pregnant for you actually?" (For Megumin and me it was incredibly tiresome)

"Oh you know, in the beginning, I got headaches, then my boobs started to swell up, and later on I started developing some serious back pain. Then I had to give birth to twins and that is probably the most pain I have ever experienced at once," Darkness told him with a stupid smile on her face like she was reminded of great memories.

"So you had a great time in other words," Kazuma said taking her out of her daydreaming.

"I wouldn't say that," Darkness tried to protest, "but I wouldn't mind having another baby with you," She said shooting him a seductive smile.

"Darkness," Kazuma said in a firm tone

"Yes,"

"I am married, and I am not going to cheat on Megumin, unless,"

"Unless what?" Queen Lalatina asked with great interest

"She explicitly allows it," Kazuma said as he looked at Darkness hang her head in defeat.

"But what do you need me to help you with exactly?" Darkness asked.

"I need you to come with me to another world and defeat an evil goddess, so that my son, your godson, doesn't have to risk his life for a job I didn't finish properly 20 years ago. So what do you say are you interested?" Kazuma quickly explained before he popped the question.

"Another adventure with you and Megumin?" She asked in disbelief

"Yeah, and Iris," Kazuma quickly added.

"Someone has to watch over the kingdom if I am to come with you, and I can't elect a deputy other than Iris to take over my duties," The queen said in despair

"Can Iris pick a deputy?" Kazuma asked curiously.

"Well yes, but being a queen, even if just for a little bit is still a hard job, who would have the competence to take such a job?" Darkness asked.

"Our daughter, of course, she is trustworthy enough isn't she?"

"Robin is trustworthy enough, but I think Masaharu is the one that would be most suited to handle and deal with all the requests coming from the kingdom, Robin likes taking things at her own pace, while Masaharu likes throwing himself into hectic situations, like rush hour in the restaurant," Darkness explained.

"Then, what about just letting them both be a monarch for a month, they can make sure the other one doesn't abuse the power given to them," Kazuma suggested

"That is so smart, I wish you had been around when we had the butter crisis last year Kazuma," Darkness praised him.

"Well thank you, La-La-Tina," Kazuma said teasingly making her flustered.

"Don't use that," Darkness said as she tried to hide her tomato-red face behind her hands.

"Heh, still funny,"

"I will send a call for Iris, Robin and Masaharu then," Darkness said as she clapped her hands together which made a group of people storm into the room.

"Queen Lalatina why are you soaking wet?" the leader of the group asked with big eyes.

"Not important right now, send word for princess Iris, and my children, time is of utmost importance," She ordered with trained ease, making them all scurry away.

"Hmm, {Freeze}," Kazuma chanted making the sopping wet Darkness freeze over like a popsicle, but after a few seconds she broke out of it, which also broke off all her clothes.

"Kazuma you brute, first you freeze me and force me to stand completely naked in my own throne room," Darkness complained while grinning from ear to ear.

"Nah, I just had to see if you were in shape for this adventure,"

"Then why are you staring at my boobs?" Darkness shyly asked.

"Well you are not covering them up, and I am easily distracted," Kazuma excused himself.

"I can't cover them with only one hand, I mean PERVERT!" She tried to protest

"Here put these on for now," Kazuma said as he threw her a pair of black panties.

"Wait, are these Megumin's panties?" Darkness asked in shock.

"Yeah, let's say that," Kazuma quickly answered as she started to put on the panties. (You are married, you are married, you are married, look at the ring, look away from the mostly naked masochist and look at your god damn wedding ring) Kazuma yelled inside his head as he finally forced himself to look at the ring. "Ah red, my wife's favorite color, WAIT SECOND RED!" Kazuma yelled out in distress as he looked back at the ring that was now blinking red.

/meanwhile with Naofumi's party

"Why did you have to stumble like that 2nd princess, I told you to be careful," Naofumi complained as they ran full speed away from the search party following them.

"It's not my fault the stone just suddenly gave after!" Melty complained as she tried to keep pace with Naofumi that was currently dragging her along by the arm.

"Less squabbling and more running children," Megumin ordered from the back.

"Just past this rock and we should be able to get- STOP!" Naofumi suddenly halted as he realized there was a 50-meter drop straight down, and not more mountain to run on.

In bitter realization, they turned around to see not only Motoyasu and whor… I mean Myne, but also Ren and Itsuki, with about 30 soldiers on horseback. While Ren and Itsuki looked serious Motoyasu looked like he had just won a million gold pieces and it was smooth sailing from here.

"That's it you got nowhere left to run, you are surrounded, even you have to admit that!" Itsuki stated matter-of-factly while gesturing to all the soldiers behind him.

"So cease your resistance and release princess Melty at once!" He ordered.

"What is it with this release business, it's not like I have her tied up or anything" Naofumi protested.

"Quit lying to us, we have all the proof we need now," Motoyasu interjected.

"Please sir heroes, the shield hero kept watch over me making sure I was safe," Melty defended with a much more mature tone than earlier

"Wait a minute this whole thing is happening because Naofumi abducted you," Ren said now clearly confused.

"This is all a misunderstanding, you see someone is plotting to have me killed, I asked him to take me with him and protect my life," Melty calmly explained.

"He is protecting you, come on?" Ren spits out with spite clearly showing in his voice.

"What advantage could the shield hero possibly stand to gain by abducting me?" Melty challenged, making Naofumi nod his head and loving these reasonable words being spoken on behalf of him.

(Hey maybe we don't have to fight our way out of this one, Melty seems to be convincing them) Naofumi thought hopefully.

"The queen told me, this is the time for us all to work together, it's the only way we will be able to thwart the catastrophes," Melty suddenly shot her arms out to the sides, meaning she was addressing everyone there, "Our world can't withstand any more of these ridiculous pointless conflicts. Put your weapons away, please," Melty pleaded with them, finally, Naofumi could see them showing some leniency.

"Like she said, this whole thing was a setup from the very beginning, I have no secrets I will tell you everything I know, and th-"

"I command you not to listen to him, that lying devil possesses a brainwashing shield, it allows him to take over your mind by simply talking to you, it's the most dangerous weapon he has," that BITCH interrupted Naofumi as she started to spout lies as easily as she wasted oxygen by staying alive.

"Who would believe something so stupid and silly," Raphtalia tried to protest, but this woman was on roll.

(Unfortunately for us Raphtalia, there are a bunch of idiots that would fall for that with her) Naofumi thought to himself.

As the reason for all Naofumi's suffering kept lying to everyone, Megumin went over to her son's side and whispered, "Can I use my explosion on her?" she asked trying her best to hold back her anger as her crimson eyes lit up.

"Not yet, we need to get further away from them first," Naofumi reasoned.

"He has even allied himself with that little devil that the pope of the three heroes church discovered recently, so that is undeniable he truly is the devil, because our dear pope would never lie," She kept going with her lies.

"Sister, you are mad!" Melty uttered in disbelief, one thing was knowing your sister was a bad person, but seeing her extent of evil in person was a totally different thing.

"Melty, my dear little deranged creature, it's obvious that the devil of the shield has already brainwashed you," The deranged sister herself said with fake pity.

"I see that means Raphtalia and Filo were brainwashed by Naofumi too," Motoyasu declared his deduction with confidence and glee.

"No you're wrong! Master Naofumi hasn't brainwashed any of us!" Raphtalia protested.

"If my shield really had the ability to do that we wouldn't be in this damn situation to begin with," Naofumi added, but he knew the chances were slim of him convincing them of anything now.

"Do we have a guarantee that it can't, what kind of proof can you give to convince us that you are not lying," Ren argued, making Naofumi sigh.

(These guys would never be on my side) He thought to himself

"Naofumi, hand over the princess right now and no one will get hurt. I promise you she won't be harmed in any way," Ren tried his best to reassure him, but it really had the opposite effect.

"You know, if we can avoid all this fighting, I guess it might be for the best," Naofumi said as he looked for an escape route, for when all this most certainly turned into a shit show.

"You are absolutely right sir Ren, I am so glad we all agree that Melty's safety comes first," The snake… sorry snakes aren't that bad, I mean Myne said as she buttered up to Ren, while shooting a death stare to her younger sister, making Melty tense up.

Melty grabbed ahold of Naofumi's green cape and gripped it for dear life, catching his attention.

"Come let's all go home together now," Myne said while stretching out her arm as a kind gesture, but for everyone able to see her eyes, it only looked like she offered death to the recipient.

"No, if I go I will be killed," Melty whispered to Naofumi, the realization that her own sister would have her dead really hurt her. Knowing that someone she was supposed to be able to trust and love, hated her so much that she wanted to kill her really hurt.

Naofumi looked back at her, and he could see the feeling of betrayal coming off the little girl, and couldn't help but empathize with her, before he looked back at the monster in front of him, as she opened her arms, even more, looking like she was ready to give her little sister a big hug. Melty now only saw a pair of arms that would most certainly break her neck at the first opportunity.

"Please sir hero, please help," Melty desperately pleaded while tightening her grip around Naofumi's cape, in response, he rested his hand on hers reassuringly before he stepped forward and covered Melty with his shield.

"You know Ren, I have to say your offer is generous, but I just do not trust that woman with the princess," Naofumi said as his expression turned serious and unreadable.

"What are you suggesting?" Ren asked, while Naofumi silently gave Raphtalia orders, which she relayed to Filo and Megumin.

"What is that devil talking about now, Melty is my dearest little sister I wouldn't dream of-"

"COME OFF IT LADY YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, YOU WANT TO BE CROWN PRINCESS SO BADLY YOU WOULD KILL YOUR OWN SISTER!" Naofumi yelled as he pointed an accusing finger at her, making her flinch.

"I would never," she tried to protest, but Naofumi interrupted her again.

"YOU WILL SAY YOU ARE UNDOING THE BRAINWASHING AND THEN KILL HER WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING! I bet that is exactly what you are planning," Naofumi kept on, before he redirected his attention to Melty, "Don't forget I promised to keep you safe,"

At that moment if you could see inside Melty's mind you would see her dreaming about being in Naofumi's protective arms because she fell for him hard right there. However, the daydream was cut short when Naofumi started barking orders.

"FILO NOW!" He commanded as everyone plugged their ears with Filo's feathers, Megumin plugged Chomusuke's ears before she placed her in her bra.

"OK!" Filo confirmed as she turned into her filolial form and let everyone get on her back.

"Ready when you are!" Naofumi uttered as Filo gave a quick nod before she sprinted headfirst towards the bitch, the fuckboy, knock-off Kirito, and the disastrous Robin hood. Just before she was about to connect she took a hard right.

"{Airstrike shield} NOW!" Naofumi chanted as a green shield appeared in front of Filo, which she used a springboard to run up the mountain wall before she kicked off the mountain and did a majestic flip, straightened out as they started to glide towards freedom.

"Not so f-!" Motoyasu yelled as he tried to throw a cursed metal bracelet towards Filo, but one word would thwart his plans.

"{EXPLOSION}!" Megumin yelled as everything behind her turned white for a second before an ear-deafening boom erupted. She had, of course, aimed it up in the sky so the explosion wouldn't hit them, but it would (un)fortunately not be able to kill anyone of the people pursuing them. However, she did blow the eardrums of everyone that didn't plug their ears. Everyone that hadn't closed their eyes would go blind for the next few days. The spectacle, of course, shocked everyone still standing on the hill into silence. The power they witnessed and felt that day was unfathomable, and they had never seen anything like it before.

Every search party in near vicinity rushed to the location, but when they arrived they only found a group of shocked soldiers and heroes staring mindlessly at the now dark sky. Naofumi and the rest were now long gone, but the memories of what Megumin had done there that day made every soldier that had seen the power of her explosion magic first-hand desert the army as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, the pope with the help of princess Malty's retelling was easily able to recruit more followers after that, and hunting down the "devil of obliteration" became a top priority, right after retrieving princess Melty and killing the "devil of the shield".

/2 hours later in Naofumi's camp after they have been able to sit down

"WOW! GRANDMA, YOU ARE AMAZING!" Filo erupted out in praise as she finally got to sit down and rest.

"FILO!" Naofumi scolded.

"Sorry master, I didn't think we needed to hide that grandma is your mother from Melty anymore," Filo tried to excuse herself, which just made Naofumi facepalm.

"Sure tell her everything Filo, not like she can be kidnapped or anything," Naofumi pointed out to his feathery friend.

"WHAT!" Melty exclaimed in shock as she shifted her gaze between Megumin and Naofumi so quickly one would think her eyes were about to roll out of her head.

Suddenly a shadow appeared out of the bushes, getting everyone on guard, only calming down when it started to speak since everyone recognized the voice.

"We meet again sir shield hero, I come with an urgent request from her majesty the queen herself," The shadow said still calm and collected but with urgency now present in her voice.

"With the queen," Naofumi said in astonishment.

"The roots of this conspiracy go deep you understand, I dare say we would appreciate all the help you could give, this abduction and the events leading up to it were set up by the ones that find you accomplishments alarming," The shadow explained.

"Great, more pains in the butt to handle," Naofumi complained. "What exactly would I gain from meeting with her?" Naofumi questioned still skeptical about this queen.

"I have no doubt you will understand after you have met, I dare say," The shadow said as Naofumi looked over at his now sleeping mother and when he looked back at the shadow she was already gone.

Naofumi looked a little shocked at first, but he quickly pulled out a map over all the known territory, "The queen is in the opposite direction of Siltvelt. Hey, 2nd princess, you know anything about this country?" Naofumi questioned, which Melty only answered with a "humph."

"Oh yeah, 2nd princess you know how to use magic don't you, what magic can you do?" Naofumi questioned.

"Don't call me that," Melty muttered.

"What was that 2nd princess?" Naofumi questioned since he didn't hear her.

"STOP CALLING ME SECOND PRINCESS!" Melty suddenly barked back at him, clearly annoyed by it.

"What has gotten into you all of the sudden?" Naofumi asked clearly confused by this sudden outburst before she indignantly sat down next to him.

"I have a name and it is MELTY! Why on earth do you keep on calling me second princess shield hero, you keep treating me as if I am only an outsider," Melty complained.

"You are the only one around her calling me shield hero you know," Naofumi expertly pointed out.

"Well then, I will have to call you Naofumi and you can call me Melty, so tell me Naofumi what is it going to be?" Melty queried for an answer.

"Straight for his first name," Raphtalia whispered loud enough for herself to hear as she looked dejectedly at the scene transpiring in front of her.

"Well second princess it's like this-" Naofumi teased.

"Hey, WAIT!" Melty objected.

"OK, Melty, happy now?" Naofumi questioned as he finally relented.

"Once more, please," Melty pleaded.

"Huh," Naofumi said in surprise while Raphtalia started to pout at this sudden development.

"Say my name one more time," She now demanded.

"Fine, Melty," Naofumi relented, he didn't really want to start quarreling with a kid over such a small thing anyway.

"Good," Melty said as she looked away from him to hide her now blushing face, before she continued, "And I suggest you don't forget it either, one more thing, thanks for that," Melty said clearly pleased with herself.

Raphtalia irritated by the actions of the princess rose up from her seat and removed herself before she did anything stupid.

"Hmm, what's up," Naofumi questioned clearly seeing something bothered Raphtalia.

"Nothing, I am fine, just forget it," Raphtalia said but suddenly something caught her attention. "Where is that smell coming from?" Raphtalia wondered.

/Meanwhile with Malty and her group of pyromaniacs

"Ready, set, FIRE!" Malty ordered making all the archers let loose their arrows and all the mages fire a fireball the size of a basketball.

The forest started to take fire until a big raincloud formed over the fire and started to rain down furiously. It was almost like someone had cast a water spell because the cloud formed so quickly and it poured out so much water that the fire quickly died after only killing a few trees. Which simply was unnatural.

"Find out who cast that rain spell!" Malty ordered.

The soldiers started to search, they quickly spotted some blue hair disappear behind a tree, but before they could get there they suddenly heard Malty's voice dish out orders again. "Get back to camp we caught the water caster," The soldier not thinking anymore about it went back to Malty.

"Why are you idiots here, I told you to go search for the person that just cast a rain spell," Malty complained as she facepalmed, which made the soldiers look at her in confusion before they realized they had been tricked. However, the person that cast the rain spell was long gone, and the rain cloud kept spreading, so there was zero chance for Malty's plan to be executed. The trees would have done a happy dance if they could.

/Meanwhile in Belzberg's throne room.

"I have summoned you all here for a very important mission," Darkness said, now redressed, and her hair was tied up in a free-flowing ponytail like so many years ago.

"What is so important mom?" Robin complained a little bit, Kazuma could see she looked like she had lost something valuable and Chris looked content with herself.

"Yeah, I need to figure out how to make dragon meat taste good, so I am actually really busy," Masaharu complained while flipping his knife around in his hand.

"I have brought you here today because I and Iris are going on an adventure of utmost importance with your father, and Iris has agreed with me that you two shall act as equal monarchs while we are gone," Darkness explained.

This statement got both twins to go wide-eyed in shock as soon as they heard the news. "But mom, I don't have any experience with ruling people," both twins said in total synchronization as if they had practiced it.

(Heh, a twin cliché) Kazuma thought to himself as he looked at his kids' protest.

"We don't have anyone else that we can entrust something like this too, so you two better do a good job, you are both wise and clever, so controlling a country is something you both should be able to handle if just for a little bit," Darkness reassured them as she brought them both into a big bear hug.

For Masaharu, it was a comfortable hug which he gave back with full strength, but for Robin, it was liked getting a steel arm around you and getting your face pushed into a pillow. The hug didn't last longer than a few seconds though, so Robin survived without any injuries.

"Thanks for believing in us mom," they said as Darkness stepped away from them.

"Very well then, with that over, bring me my armor and sword, Sebastian," Darkness ordered, while Iris was already ready for battle in her armor and sword.

After a few minutes, Sebastian returned with a pitch-black dark armor and a two-handed sword, "Your majesty your armor and swords," Sebastian presented it to her, as she raised her arms, giving the sign to her servants to equip her with the armor, which they promptly did. After a few minutes, Darkness now stood there in a pitch-black armor with her sword drawn.

"Look Kazuma, don't I look awesome in this armor?" She questioned

"Yes, but can you hit anything with that sword?" Kazuma asked in a mocking tone.

"Uhm, about that-" Darkness suddenly started to blush profusely.

"No, it is fine Darkness, I know you can't hit a target unless it literally throws itself at you, I need you for your defense and stamina, Megumin is the firepower," Kazuma explained, making Darkness just blush more.

"You don't need to publicly humiliate me like that Kazuma!" She yelled back at him in frustration.

"Says the masochist," Kazuma pointed out.

"I DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF HUMILIATION!" Darkness protested.

"Ok, but we got to get to the hill outside the city, we are going to meet someone that hopefully are able to get us to the world where my son and Megumin currently are," Kazuma cut off Darkness' protests as he started to drag her out by her ponytail, with Iris walking by his side.

"Chris, aren't you going to come with us?" Iris questioned.

"No, I got something else important to do, see you guys later," Chris said as she scratched her scar and waved them goodbye.

After about 20 minutes of walking the finally reached their destination, but no one was there, which made Iris and Darkness look around, and they couldn't see anyone on their way to the hill or going away from the hill.

"Who are we waiting for Kazuma?" Darkness asked.

"Oh you will see when she gets here, she will be here any minute now," Kazuma answered.

"What do you mean, we are on a hill and we can't see anyone approaching us, if someone were to get here it would take them at least 20 minutes," Iris protested

"You will see," Kazuma said, and the next second as on queue the sky erupted out in a blinding silver light. "Oh, she is here," Kazuma stated with his usual bluntness.

"Wait, is this who I think it is?" Darkness asked while shielding her eyes from the light with her hands.

"If your guess is Eris, then yes," Kazuma quickly answered.

"Wait, THE ERIS, THE GODDESS ERIS!" Iris and Darkness exclaimed in pure shock.

"Yes, that is me," Eris confirmed with her angelic voice as she set foot on the soil next to Iris and Darkness. The girls were star struck to put it simply, before they both started to prostrate themselves in front of her.

"Kazuma, why aren't you bowing? You have to bow when the goddess Eris herself is in front of you," Darkness and Iris questioned with urgency showing in their voice.

"No please, there is no need for that, just treat me like you would treat an old friend," Eris pleaded with them, but the girls wouldn't budge.

"We couldn't possibly treat you like an old friend when we have barely met you, much less spoken to each other before," Darkness protested her face still stuck to the ground.

Kazuma just grinned wildly as he heard her statement, it was for some reason really funny for him. Something Iris just couldn't understand how all of this came so naturally to Kazuma. Before she remembered that Kazuma had probably met Eris a lot of times since he had died so much in his early adventuring days.

(Kazuma also doesn't have common sense, since he is from Japan) Iris thought to herself, but she didn't dare to budge from her position.

"Eris just let them stay like that until they get tired, have you found a way for us to get to Naofumi and Megumin?" He questioned.

"I have found three actually, but I will let you pick," Eris informed them

"Three you say, let us hear," Kazuma said with hope brimming in his eyes.

"The first one is the safest one, but also the slowest one, I have to somehow smuggle you through heaven, and get you to that world without any of you being detected, and if you are detected you will be killed and sent to hell on the spot," Eris informed them.

"Let me hear the two others first, being sent to hell seems kind of harsh," Kazuma noted.

"Method number 2 includes me merging my world with the two worlds already being merged by Medea, it would essentially mean I declare war on her where the winner takes all the power. It would put all the people of this world at risk and I stand a chance of being obliterated, however, you will be free to travel between my world and the two worlds she is merging for as long as I am able to withstand her," This option seemed to make Eris nervous so Kazuma asked for the third one.

"The third method would essentially be me throwing you into the void with the hope of you hitting the right world link, if you place a teleport checkpoint here you would be able to get back if you failed, and if you finally succeed you can make a teleport checkpoint in that world and teleport freely between my world and the world you ended up in. You might suddenly end up in a lava world or something like that, which would mean instant death so the chances of success are microscopical. So which one do you pick?" Eris questioned which made Kazuma super nervous.

"Yeah, let me think about it, but first I have to go to Vanir and Wiz and pick up a few things, which reminds me I need 6 billion Eris, can you guys fix that for me?" Kazuma questioned.

"That is a lot of money Kazuma," Darkness protested.

"What if I, goddess Eris said that Kazuma must get the money with the utmost haste, would that change anything?" Eris asked rhetorically already knowing the answer.

"If my goddess commands it, I can't refuse," Darkness quickly said in fear of having offended Eris.

"Then get going!" Eris ordered which made both Iris and Darkness start sprinting towards the city, Kazuma barely managed to jump on Darkness' back before it was too late.

"We will be back in 2 hours!" Kazuma yelled back and Eris gave a thumbs up to that before she disappeared in another silver flash.

First, Kazuma got the 6 billion Eris he needed before the castle mages teleported him, Iris and Darkness to Vanir and Wiz, which had prepared 6 wagons full of experience potions, 1 wagon filled with high-quality manatite, and 1 wagon filled with bullets and three guns. However, Vanir didn't let Kazuma go before he had written the blueprints for both the cellphone, cellphone tower, and made the prototypes, which took a long time. He also learned teleport from Wiz before she teleported them back to the capital.

When the whole entourage appeared the cabbage seller that had just recaptured all his cabbages got spooked and lost the cage, which broke open the new cage containing the cabbages letting them scurry away again.

"DAMNIT!" The cabbage man yelled as he ran after them with his net, but this time it was much easier to catch them, since they all crashed into Darkness' boobs, making her moan loudly.

"I KNEW IT!" Kazuma suddenly exclaimed. Iris and Darkness just looked at him totally confused, but they didn't bother asking what he knew.

After 30 minutes of travel with all the carriages being dragged for them by horses, they finally arrived at the hill. Eris reappeared and the girls again started to prostrate themselves for her.

"Which method have you decided to choose Kazuma?" Eris asked, fearing he would pick option number 2.

"Eris, it obviously has to be option three, you can cast {Blessing} on me a bunch of times, then you can with confidence chuck me into the void," Kazuma said.

"Kazuma even if I cast {Blessing} on you all day, the chances of you getting to the world you want are still so small that it is almost pointless to even cast it in the first place," Eris argued.

"You are the literal goddess of luck, I am sure it is going to work," Kazuma said confidently.

"Very well then, you have picked your option," Eris relented as she started to furiously cast {Blessing} on Kazuma.

After 30 minutes of being blessed Kazuma felt like he was invincible. First, he placed a portal checkpoint on the hill before Eris opened the rift into the void. The feeling of invincibility quickly vanished when Kazuma was thrown into the void and he felt like a speck of sand on the beach. Despite this Kazuma was still lucky enough to safely land into the world Naofumi was, he landed in his son's makeshift camp nonetheless. Raphtalia that was on guard duty was extremely shocked to see Kazuma just suddenly faceplant right in front of her while everyone was sleeping.

"Are you ok Kazuma?" Raphtalia asked, still a little wary on if it actually was Kazuma.

"Yes, I am fine, just give me second," Kazuma said as he put down another teleport checkpoint before he suddenly vanished again, and two minutes later he reappeared with 8 wagons and two beautiful women blonde women. To say Raphtalia was shocked wouldn't even start to explain it.

I am going to end the chapter here. Sorry for taking so long to post anything, but this chapter has been really hard to get right I feel. I hope you liked it though.