After going through his usual morning rituals, Togami told himself that he felt better able to deal with the new day. He'd scrutinized himself in the mirror to determine whether there were any outer indications of his feelings, and he was sure that the pallor of his skin and traces of red around his eyes would fade soon enough.
The only thing that gave him pause before he left the room was the small pile of room keys sitting on his bookcase. He really had to decide what to do with those. His own key was easy enough – he tucked it into his inner jacket pocket where he usually kept it safe. But that didn't address the question of the other two keys – the ones belonging to Ogami and Naegi.
He hadn't realized he'd taken Naegi's room key with him when he'd left the other boy's room. He'd had it in his pocket already, and he'd hardly been thinking clearly enough to decide whether to return it before he'd stormed out. He'd locked the door behind him, he was fairly certain of that – which meant that at the moment, Naegi was locked in his room with no way to leave.
Part of Togami rather appreciated that idea. At least this way he knew where Naegi was and that he wasn't doing anything stupid. But keeping Naegi safe wasn't his responsibility. Naegi had made that perfectly clear.
Togami sighed, picking up the key and frowning at it. He'd have to return this to Naegi, wouldn't he? The thought of facing the other boy again, so soon after his resounding rejection, made Togami's stomach twist. Naegi would want to talk to him, he knew it – and he wasn't sure he could trust himself if faced with Naegi's unhappiness. It would be so easy to let himself be convinced to return, to spend his time chasing after a boy who didn't love him back.
No. No, he couldn't let himself do that. This was all bad enough without heaping that additional humiliation onto the list of the other mistakes he'd made. He would just have to return that key to Naegi without seeing him, somehow.
Which still left the question of Ogami's key. Togami scowled down at that one. He'd tried to return it to her the night before Hagakure's murder, figuring that there wasn't much point in continuing the inconvenient charade of locking her in her room when he'd been convinced she could leave any time she chose – but she'd refused to take it.
Well, he'd intended to speak with her anyway, to inform her of what Monokuma had said regarding her order to kill. That certainly lessened any concerns he'd had about her ability to wander the school at will. Maybe she'd feel differently about taking her key back now. Or if she didn't, she could throw it away herself and leave her door open to the world, for all he cared. If that whole mess with the locked door had taught him anything, it was that confiscating keys was more trouble than it was worth.
Togami pocketed both other keys and left his room, making sure to lock the door behind him. With the hallway empty, he couldn't quite resist the impulse to look across the way at Naegi's door for a moment, the key's weight unavoidable in his pocket.
It would be so easy to return. All he had to do was open the door, and it could be like the last hour had never happened. Naegi would smile, kiss him, curl into his arms –
But it wouldn't be enough. Even the thought of holding Naegi felt hollow, now that he understood the disparity in their feelings for one another. No matter how soft and sweet his moments alone with Naegi might be, he knew that wouldn't matter when it came down to making real decisions. Naegi had never chosen him over any of the others, not once.
Togami had let go of so much of his pride already, for Naegi's sake – but he couldn't do this. He wouldn't. If Naegi didn't want the love he'd offered, then he refused to beg for it, or to crawl back as if it didn't matter. It did matter. If he had to be vulnerable, then he needed to know that the other boy had been defeated just as thoroughly by this relationship. He wanted Naegi to love him in return.
Togami tore his eyes away from the door, scowling at his stupid, useless thoughts. Indulging in that kind of melancholy in his own room was bad enough, but doing so in the hall was utterly unacceptable. He had to get away from this area before things got any worse.
But first, he did have to deal with the question of Naegi's key.
After a moment's thought, Togami braced himself and crossed the hall to press Naegi's doorbell. When he'd left, Naegi had been barely able to sit up on the bed, despite his insistence that he felt much better. It was possible that he hadn't even been able to make it to the door yet this morning, and was still unaware he was locked in the room. But hearing the doorbell would bring him over, if he was able to stand at all. If he wasn't...
But after several agonizingly long moments, the doorknob rattled, as if someone on the other side was trying to open it. Togami pressed his lips together, trying not to react to the knowledge that Naegi stood less than a foot away from him, close enough to touch if the door weren't in the way. That didn't matter. He'd forfeited his right to touch Naegi, separating them more thoroughly than a closed door ever could.
Before he could do anything foolish, Togami slid Naegi's key into the lock and turned it, leaving the knob to turn suddenly under the other boy's hand. As soon as the lock clicked open, Togami turned and sped down the hall, leaving the key dangling from the knob as he walked away as quickly as he could without breaking into a full run. He only just made it out of the line of vision when he heard the door open behind him.
"Togami?" Naegi's voice, trembling with a painful hope, caught at Togami's heart, trying to pull him back like a moon captured in a planet's orbit. If he'd called again, Togami didn't know what he might have done in response, despite all his decisions to the contrary.
So before he could hear Naegi say his name again, Togami headed for the door that would take him into the rest of the first floor. Better to put some distance between the two of them until he could face Naegi with a greater degree of composure.
