Chapter 3


The source of her anger felt petty.

Thinking back to what Ino said, Sakura pondered on where her sense of jealousy and hurt stemmed from. Why was she frustrated at who he spent his time with? She knew Hinata already admitted her feelings to Naruto once, so why did she feel threatened by her if Naruto had shown no sign of reciprocating? Was it the possibility of him finally realizing how beautiful, kind, and devoted she was?

Sakura splashed water over her face, and repeated until she felt like the cold water was actually doing something. When did she become so so so-

Jealous?

She paused at the thought, shutting off the water and leaning forward on the sink. When did she start to care so much about what he did? It's not like they were together- and… and even if they were, that wouldn't matter to her, right? She stared at her reflection before scrubbing her face with a towel and moving to her living room, throwing herself onto the couch.

This all started when Sasuke left. This mess between her and Naruto. She could still remember that day so very clearly.

She acutely remembered how deep Sasuke's voice had sounded after she had talked to him the first time after the war. After years. And how he was looking at no one else other than her. It had made the child in her almost cry with joy to finally be acknowledged. The small part of her who still thought of him fondly, that had written his name in all her notebooks, that had loved him since the moment she had seen him sparring at her neighborhood park. Was he not the center of her world for years?

That part had gotten so small though, she hadn't even noticed when it had stopped growing with the rest of her.

Years passed and her heart hardened. Instead of feeling excited when he had finally spoken to her, she felt tired. She found excuses when he approached her more to talk or even worse, apologize. When he moved his hand in certain ways, she could almost hear the screeching of birds and sandals on water. She begged him in her mind to leave because sometimes it was too much. It was exhausting, trying to heal from the war and simultaneously help heal someone else.

She ran a hand down her face at the thought. She didn't want to think about Sasuke. It was almost rare that she lingered on thoughts of him unless it involved receiving a letter. Her mind revolved more and more around Naruto.

"Ughhh…" Whenever she tried to think about him, she felt stuck. His feelings for her always made her pause before she reached out. Before she did anything really. His warm smile always felt like an invitation to a road she wasn't sure if she was ready to take. Old feelings jumbled up with complicated new ones left her feeling unsure on how to move forward. But when she watched that smile flash at someone other than her or looked at his back when he spoke to girls who finally acknowledged the man he grew to be, she felt the crave for attention pull at her.

It was only then that she'd react with her feelings first. Not thinking about his own, but only the fact that she needed to remain the center of his attention.

And Sakura realized that was selfish of her.

She was willing to bypass his feelings for a sense of stability? To feel a love she would never reciprocate? Are his feelings really one sided though? She had played with the thought before, but never delved into it further. Whenever the thought even grazed her mind, she was plagued with dreams of Sasuke. A part of her knew it was guilt that triggered these dreams. Even if any romantic feelings for Sasuke were gone, her mind that had so long sought after the Uchiha seemed to chastise her for even entertaining the idea of something serious with Naruto. It left her waking up and staring at her ceiling for hours, questioning if she was even worthy of love after turning a blind eye to someone she knew loved her, to love that man's best friend.

It didn't mean she couldn't change.

The thought of making it go past a game and for once trying. The notion left her mouth dry and chest warm. But she shied away from the idea and put the lid back on the feelings. If there was a time to work past all the fears, anxiety, and thoughts of unworthiness she didn't think it was now. She glanced at the clock in the room before hopping up from the couch to start getting ready for work. She made her way over to her bedroom to get a change of clothes while promising to forget all this after a hot shower.


Check the lungs.

Check the reflexes.

Any external damage?

Any internal damage?

Any signs of trauma?

"Alright Genma, I'm all done here." Sakura checked the last box on his chart, scribbling some side notes as the Jonin pulled his shirt back over his head.

Sakura was nearing the end of her shift at the hospital. It was an easy day, mostly routine check-ups on a few jonin squads returning from their missions and while she was able to push any thoughts of Naruto from her mind, the irony that he was on her list of patients today made her move a little more sluggishly through what should've been just 30 minute physicals. It would be just her luck that he waited days after his mission to finally make the mandatory appointment.

Genma placed his bandana on his head, securing the knot. "Thanks Sakura-chan, I appreciate these little meetings of ours." He winked making Sakura roll her eyes.

She busied herself by straightening papers in front of her but glanced at him out the corner of her eye. Genma placed the senbon between his lips and rolled it from one side of his mouth to the other. The Jonin was definitely a handsome man whose flirtatious comments were enough to bring a healthy blush to her face, but it never went beyond that. He laughed at her reaction before hopping off the examination table, she huffed at him.

"I'd appreciate them more if you didn't always come back with broken ribs." Sakura scolded halfheartedly, turning to him after placing the examination papers in his file. She waved him off and Genma chuckled before leaving the room with a lazy wave.

Sakura listened to the door click shut before pulling out the next folder. The silence of the room settled over her heavily. On the wall above her, the clock clicked steadily, reminding her of the last appointment for the day. Dread filled her stomach like lead, but Sakura prided herself at being able to stay completely professional while working. Grabbing her clipboard, she made her way over to the next examination room, steeling herself before pushing open the door. She kept her eyes down on his chart as she strode over to the stool in the corner.

"Hey, Sakura-chan." He sounded like he was smiling. Hearing his chipper voice made her all the more aware of her sour mood, she frowned at the turning feelings in her gut.

"Hello, Naruto." She greeted in a clipped tone. "Are you aware of any injuries that you might've sustained during your previous mission that I should be aware of before starting?" Her voice was quick and to the point, completely professional. It sounded horrible to even her.

"Uh, no. It was only a diplomatic mission. And me and Hina—"

"Alright then, I'll begin your usual check-up now." Sakura glanced at him and almost felt guilty at the hurt look on his face. Almost.

"Ah, okay."

"I'll need you to remove your shirt." He silently complied, his shirt dropping onto the table next to him. She tried to avoid his eyes as she laid her hand against his back, the green glow signalling her chakra entering his body. She requested he breathe in and out slowly, and he did so without his usual questions. Everything felt tense. Awkward.

A silent sigh escaped her lips as she moved her hand to his chest, repeating the request. He complied again, letting the exhale dwindle out before gripping her hand in his. She froze in surprise, her eyes immediately meeting his.

"You're upset." He stated rather than asked.

No shit.

"No, I'm not." She denied. They both knew she could break his hold, it wasn't even that tight, but that wasn't the point. The point was that he had grabbed her, which made her skin hot and heart pound.

"Yes, you are." He seemed to choose his next words with caution. "You're upset with me."

Naruto had never been the overly observant type, but Sakura should've known he's always been emotionally aware. He couldn't catch on to what the problem was, but he could feel it was there. And once he knew it was there he wouldn't leave it alone until it was gone. She didn't come into this thinking he'd actually confront her on it here though, or be persistent. They danced around each other so much these days she never knew what should be said or ignored by this point.

"What makes you think that?" She tried to act aloof, but his hard stare told her he was not in the mood to beat around the bush.

"You're acting cold towards me. I'm not dumb Sakura-chan, and we're not kids anymore." His admission made her swallow. It almost sounded like a reprimand. Suddenly feeling a little childish under his gaze, she pulled back but Naruto's grip tightened.

No, they definitely weren't kids anymore.

"I never said you were dumb, Naruto." Sakura slowly said, looking directly into his blue, blue eyes. Blue like the ocean, and swimming with emotions so clearly displayed for her. The intensity of them swallowing her whole. She lowered her gaze, once again pulling her arm from his grip and this time, Naruto let her. She took a step back, needing the physical space from him to stop herself from being drowned in his gaze.

"This is getting off topic, we need to finish your exam." Sakura said, turning to grab the file that she had placed on the counter behind her. The tips of her fingers barely brushed the edge of the folder before Naruto slapped his hand on top of it.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" He sounded frustrated.

The heat radiating off of him in waves could be felt against her back. His chest brushed against her shoulder blades with every breath he took and it was beginning to become too much.

"Why?" Sakura finally snapped, not turning to face him and instead glaring at the hand in front of her. "Why do you have to know everything that makes me upset? So you can fix it? You just said it yourself- were not kids anymore." She could feel her frustration with her own feelings bleeding into her jealousy over him. She took a steadying breath and hoped he would just drop it before she said something she wasn't supposed to.

She felt him shift away and she finally turned her head to slightly peak over her shoulder. Cold air rushed back around her without his steady supply of body heat at her back.

"You always told me not to shoulder everything on my own. To rely on you when I need help." Sakura closed her eyes, listening to his words and knowing where he was heading with it. "Why won't you let me do the same for you?"

She let out a frustrated sigh. "It's not so simple, Naruto." All of my worries seem to revolve around you. She pinched the bridge of her nose at the thought before finally turning and looking at him. He looked miserable, and the sight made her anger fizzle out slightly into a lump of guilt. Clearly, leaving him in the dark was hurting him and hurting Naruto was something she never wanted to do again. Even if she had to admit aloud what was turning her mood sour.

Sakura ran her hand through her hair, pushing her bangs back, before crossing her arms defensively. She knew she was going to cave and tell him before she even admitted it to herself.

"It's-it's dumb." Sakura grumbled, turning her face away from his searching gaze.

Naruto took a step forward, invading her space once again by placing his hands on her cheeks to bring her attention solely back to him. "I doubt it Sakura-chan, but I can't help fix it if you don't tell me what I did."

Now being forced to stare into his eyes, Sakura felt vulnerable. "Why didn't you come find me?" She asked in a small voice.

"What?"

"For the mission, why didn't you come find me."

"Sakura-chan, I… I didn't know you wanted to go- really, I only asked Hinata because, well…" Naruto paused. Sakura brought a hand to rest lightly on his wrist. Those ocean blue eyes reflected concern, confusion, hurt. "I just happened to bump into her." His reply left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Then why not just bump into me?" She stressed. "Why just take anyone on a supposed solo mission? Why did you ask for a change for her?" Her frustration apparent, Naruto swiped his thumbs over her cheek bones in a soothing gesture. She blinked, surprised, but pressed on. "I'm your teammate, so why not me?"

Naruto's thumb slowly swiped under her eye, pulling her back from her thoughts. Her cheeks burned under his touch, and the way his breath fanned out hot on her face was dizzying. Her heart hammered against her ribcage and she wondered if he could feel it. Feel everything she was hiding. Everything she wasn't ready to admit, even to herself. She felt exposed in front of his searching gaze and it made her palms sweat.

And she felt like she could just die as his eyes flickered to her lips and back up before he seemed to gather himself enough to respond.

"Sakura I—," Her name without the honorific sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach. "...I just… I can't just…."

Can't just what? She wanted to shout, but couldn't find her voice. His gaze returned to her mouth and a part of her wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

"Come to dinner with me tonight." He blurted out. She blinked, taken aback by his request. The tension between them melted as she let out a confused laugh.

"What? Dinner?"

"Yes! With me!" Naruto exclaimed, suddenly letting go of her face and taking a step back. The heat of his hands lingering on her skin. "Clearly I made you upset, so let me take you out! I'll actually pay, I swear! And it doesn't even have to be ramen."

He motioned an X over his heart with his finger and felt the last bit of her bad mood melt away at the sight of his bright smile. She hated and loved that he could do that to her. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a laugh. "Okay, fine. That means I get to order dessert and we can continue this conversation then."

After Naruto agreed with an enthused nod, Sakura finished the checkup. They chatted about where to eat while he put on his shirt and jacket. The tension that hung heavy over them before was not as thick, but the questions left unanswered still swirled in Sakura's mind no matter how bright Naruto's grin was.


I'm sick and i wanted to write so i spit this out with my Beta. I have a whole week of work ahead of me with no days off. Ugh, big summer bummer, pray for me friends.

R&R