WARNING: This chapter contains . . . [Language / Mild Sexual Situations]
Edit Update: 1/1/2016
Did some majorly minor editing.
"I thought you were never going to wake up." Bakura grumbled as Marik sat up.
"Where the frig are we?" Marik asked as he rubbed his lavender eyes, staring tiredly at the campfire his companion had set up while he was oblivious to the world.
"After you knocked yourself out, I took the liberty of carrying your ass here." He pointed upwards, where the rocks that surrounded them jutted upward, leaving a single opening that revealed the night sky, where a cluster of stars shown brightly over them. The reason why Bakura had chosen this spot to set up camp was because the opening above them was the shape of a bird of prey, which was one of the markers on the map. "And now that you are awake, we can-"
"You carried me all the way over here?"
"Technically the horse carried you." Bakura explained, and Artax snorted to confirm it.
"Let's have sex together, Bakura!"
". . . What?"
Bakura blinked, and he suddenly found himself back in his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed. And in front of him was Marik, who was taking off his shirt. Most people would have been confused by this sudden change of scenery, but he knew what was going on. He had fallen asleep and this was another one of his dreams. Oh well. A dream was better than nothing. And he really needed this, since he was currently nowhere near his computer, where he could satisfy his cravings with thiefshipping fanart.
"Come over here, Marik." Bakura said with a smile. "And let me see that tattoo of yours."
Marik began to make his way towards Bakura, but before he could reach him, a portal opened up in the ceiling, releasing a volley of lightning bolts. Bakura merely cocked an eyebrow and groaned. Who was trying to interrupt his playtime with Marik? His question was answered when the female writer fell out of the blue and purple vortex and landed gingerly on her right foot, her arms spread out and a look of triumph on her face. Until the impact finally registered in her leg, causing her to fall over.
"What are you bloody doing here?" Bakura growled as he looked down at her. "Don't give me any more reason to kill you."
The writer quickly stood and crossed her arms. "I won't allow you to have sex dreams!"
"I can dream about whatever the f*** I want."
"Look, you!" She pressed her finger against his shoulder, but when she saw the murderous glint in his eyes, she chuckled nervously and stepped back before continuing. "This is my fanfic, see? And I'm a respectable Christian!"
Bakura smirked. "If you were what you say you are, then you wouldn't be writing this in the first place."
"Are we having sex yet?" Marik asked.
"In a minute." Bakura told him before facing the girl again. "Now be a good little future victim and leave me the f*** alone."
The writer placed her feet firmly on the ground. "I'm not leaving until you agree to keep this dream T-rated!"
"I am afraid you have no say in the matter." Bakura smiled once more and snapped his fingers, causing the portal to release a gust of wind that picked the girl up, much like the house in The Wizard of Oz, and he laughed as she flew towards the ceiling.
"Florence!" The writer shouted as she spun in circles while the song You Spin me Round (Like a Record) by Dead or Alive played in the background. "You'll pay for this!"
"That's my line." Bakura watched as she disappeared into the vortex, which closed up shortly after, returning things to the way they were before. "Now," he said to Marik as he flashed him a lewd grin, "where were we?"
"Well, we were near a campfire before we ended up here for no apparent reason other than to please the fangirls and-"
"Just shut up and f*** me already."
"Okay!"
Marik, once again, walked towards him as Bakura ripped off his own shirt, throwing it on the floor. He could practically hear the writer screaming in protest as the tanned boy placed his hands on the other boy's lap, leaning in close enough for them to kiss. But instead, Marik pressed his cheek against Bakura's before drawing in a breath, telling the white haired teen that he was going to whisper something in his ear.
"HEY, FLUFFY! TIME TO WAKEY-POO!"
Bakura's eyes flashed open and he sprang up into a sitting position, causing his forehead to collide with Marik's.
"What? What is it?" Bakura shouted as he grabbed his sore head. "And it had better be bloody important!"
"Where the frig are we?!" Marik asked as he stood up, gesturing at the campfire and tall rocks. "I know we were in the middle of the jungle a moment ago and now we're here. Wherever the frig here is! Am I hallucinating or something?! Maybe I'm high. Bakura!"
"What?!"
"Am I high?!"
Bakura sighed. The dream was officially over. "Well, considering how you behave normally, it's rather impossible to tell."
"Well, if I'm not high, then where the frig are we?!"
Bakura held up his hand. "Marik, remember your blood pressure."
Before the pale boy realized what was happening, Marik got down on all fours so that his face would be level with Bakaura's and leaned forward, their noses not even an inch apart. "Explain to me what happened, Bakura!"
Bakura closed his eyes and forced himself to push the boy away. Otherwise he probably would have taken the opportunity to grab the front of Marik's shirt and drag him to the ground so that they could continue where his dream had left off. "You knocked yourself out. So instead of waiting for you to wake up, I put you on the horse and brought you here." He grabbed the map and handed it to him, so that Marik could see why he had stopped at this location.
Marik continued to pout as he snatched the map and began scanning it before he gazed upward at the bird formation. "Oooohhhh . . ." He paused for a moment, his brain slowly processing everything that he had just learned. And then without warning, he clapped his hands together. "Oh! I just realized that I have not been doing any of my random work outs at all lately! How do I expect me to stay fit and gorgeous if I don't stay in shape?" Without waiting for an answer from his partner in crime, Marik dropped down and began performing push-ups that would put even a seasoned drill sergeant to shame. "You should do it too, Bakura! Your abs are as tiny as your butt! 'Cause you have no butt!"
"No thank you." Bakura was, how most people would put it, lazy. He didn't like doing any work unless it was necessary. Or if it resulted in him killing somebody. "I think I will just go look for some more firewood."
Marik paused from his push-ups. "But there's a pile of sticks right there."
Bakura's shoulders tensed. He had forgotten that he had already gathered more than what was needed while waiting for Marik to wake up. "Then I'll just find us some water."
"We already have that." Marik pointed at the full canteens at he stretched.
"Food, then. I'll just go and find some- Oh." Bakura rolled his eyes when he saw the lizards and small rodents that were skewered on sticks over the fire. He had been able to run quite a few errands while Marik was unconscious. After letting out a loud groan, Bakura sat down in a cross legged position and moped, his chin cupped in his hand as he watched Marik touch his toes. At least he had a nice view.
"Hey, Bakura."
"What is it?"
Marik straightened up and began stretching his arms. "You didn't try anything while I was out, did you?"
Bakura's brown eyes widened at the sudden and out-of-the-blue question. "What are you talking about?"
"I'll know in a second." Marik reached into one of the pockets on his cargo pants and pulled out a small mirror, which was much like the ones that women used. It made sense, considering how much makeup Marik wore. When the boy saw his reflexion, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness! I'm still gorgeous."
"Marik, what the bloody hell are you talking about?"
"As if you don't know!" Marik put the mirror back in his pocket. "You were thinking of drawing crap all over my face, weren't you? I've seen the movies, how the guy is passed out on the couch and the little children grab markers and draw a funny mustache on his face. You can't fool me, Bakura! Nothing can get past me! Not even myself!"
"Yes, yes, yes." Bakura mumbled before yawning. Sometimes Marik's endless rants were so tiring. And maybe if he fell asleep again, he could continue that dream from earlier . . .
"Are you even listening to me?!"
"What?"
"I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my plans for invading Saskatchewan! . . . Bakura? Bakura?"
Bakura didn't reply because he had fallen fast asleep, leaving Marik to talk and rant to Artax instead.
"We're here."
I woke up as Stacie grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the limo. "Where are we?" I asked groggily.
"At an anime convention!" Marge announced, right when a hairy man wearing a Sailor Moon cosplay walked by. "There're plenty of hotels here where we can lock you up. And the hyperactive fangirls will drown out the sound of your screams."
Lovely.
"Come on." Stacie said as she began pushing me along.
As much as I loved the idea of being in the hands of a cute girl like her, I needed to escape. But how? Even if I broke free, there was such a large crowd that they would be able to easily catch me again. There had to be a way . . . I closed my eyes and concentrated until I was able to formulate a plan. It would be risky, and some may get injured in the process, but it was my only option.
Once we were behind the crowd and heading across the sidewalk towards the hotels, I managed to free one of my arms and pointed forward. "Look! There goes Vic Mignogna!"
The crowd of cosplayers all squealed in delight and stampeded into me and my kidnappers, knocking us to the ground as their feet trampled on top of our backs and heads. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. But hey, at least it worked! I pulled myself up and darted off into the sea of sweaty fans. I was free! And hopefully I would stay that way.
