WARNING: This chapter contains . . . [Language / Suggestive Dialogue / Sexual Situations]


Edit Update: 1/1/2016

Did some majorly minor editing.


"I'm hungry!" I called out to my kidnappers. "I gotta pee! I'm naked! Fire! Timmy's stuck in the well! Houston, we've got a problem! There's a shark in the water! The British are coming! The eagle has landed! E.T. phone home!" Either they couldn't hear or they were very good at ignoring me.

After letting out a sigh, I tried to get my mind off of my current situation by relaxing. But as I did, I blacked out and found myself in the middle of a jungle, and when I looked down at myself, I saw that I was transparent. At first I thought I had died and gone to Heaven, but then I saw Marik and Bakura sleeping by a campfire. That was when I realized that I had the power to go into the story to check up on them. Cool! Or at least, it was cool until I saw what their location was. On a nearby rock was a carving of a fish, which I remembered from the Road to El Dorado movie. That meant that their next destination was . . .

My mind snapped back to my taped up body. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

I wanted to punch myself. Why did I send them in that movie?! Why didn't I remember that that scene was in it?! Sure, I wasn't going to see it happen - thank goodness - but still! It didn't change the fact that they were approaching the hot spring, where the original characters . . . stripped naked.

The image of Marik and Bakura popped into my mind, the two of them without their clothes on with pixels blurring out their privates.

"We should do this more often!" Imaginary Marik said in my head.

"How about we have some kinky sex?" Imaginary Bakura suggested.

"Okay!"

I shook my head to remove the image. There had to be a way to prevent that from happening. But how? I doubted that they would be able to see me if I let my mind drift back there again, considering the fact that I was transparent and all. And I didn't have the typewriter, which I could have used to communicate, or at least alter the story enough to skip that scene. And then it hit me. Bakura was asleep, which meant that I could go into his dream again and somehow convince the guy to skip the hot spring! It was a long shot, but I had to try!

After taking in a deep breath and letting it back out again, I closed my eyes and relaxed, forcing myself to fall asleep - which wasn't hard, considering how tired I already was. It didn't take long for me to conk out and I soon found myself back in the vortex before it let me fall to the ground and my head broke my fall. Ow!

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?!" I heard Bakura shout at me.

I rubbed my sore noggin and stood up, but then I quickly closed my eyes as I crossed my pointer fingers to form an X. "DUDE! EW!"

Bakura was having another one of his sex dreams, but this time I had dropped in later on in the process. Although I did count my lucky stars that I hadn't come a moment later. Marik was on his hands and knees on the bed, staring at me curiously while Bakura was laying on his stomach underneath him as he glared daggers at me. If any more time had past before arriving, I would have been scarred for life! If I wasn't already. At least their bodies were covered by a blanket, which I was very thankful for.

"Get the f*** out of here!" Bakura demanded as he pointed at the door.

"Believe me, I want to." I told him. "But I have to talk to you about something. Wait!" I shouted when I saw that he was about to snap his fingers, which would make the portal appear and whisk me away again. "This is very important."

"What could possibly be so bloody important that you had to come in here when I am trying to have sex that I severely need right now?!"

"I would prefer to tell you after you've put some clothes on."

Bakura groaned and I stepped out of the room so that he could get dressed. It only took a minute or two because he came out only wearing his pants. Well, it was better than nothing.

"Now what is it?" Bakura asked.

"Okay, the reason why I came here is to warn you to avoid the hot spring."

"Hot spring?"

"Yeah, 'cause there is- Uh, Bakura? Why are you-?"

Bakura's expression had changed from annoyed to creepily happy. "A hot spring, you say?"

I didn't like where this was going. "Yeeeeaaaah, and you have to avoid it because-"

"Thanks for the warning."

"But wait!"

It was too late. He snapped his fingers and I felt my feet fly off the ground before I spun in circles as Bakura's laughter rang in my ears.

What . . . have I done?


When Bakura woke up, he felt jubilated. Even though he loathed that girl with his entire being and had wanted to skin her alive for interrupting his fantasy fun with Marik, he was glad that she had told him this new information about their next destination. Forget waiting until they got home. He was tired of waiting. Tired of controlling his urges. Tired of stealing glances at Marik's exposed midriff. Tired of only having Marik in his dreams. And he was tired of this monologue!

Bakura sat up and stretched his sore arms. Sleeping on a rock covered surface had caused his body to get stiff and his side screamed in pain, but he ignored it. Nothing was going to ruin this day. Not that writer or those annoying animals that Marik had grown attached to. He shook his head. Thinking about these things were ruining his good mood. But he couldn't help it. He was worried that something was going to happen to prevent their trip to the hot spring, where they would enter a world of uncensored lechery.

"I need a bath." Marik, who had also just woken up, commented as he picked loose dry mud off of his arm.

"Well then, you're in luck." Bakura said, not even trying to hide his smile. "There just so happens to be a hot spring not too far from here."

"That's a relief! Wait a minute." Marik looked at him questioningly. "How do you know that?"

"A little bird told me."

"You can talk to birds? What, are you Snow White or something?" Marik gasped. "That explains so much!"

"What?"

"Where is this hot spring?" Marik asked as he stood up. "I haven't been able to wash myself since that shower."

"Don't remind me." Bakura still felt like kicking himself for missing out on that one. "If we keep following the map, we should run into it eventually."

"Let's hope that bird of yours is trustworthy."

"It wasn't really a bird."

"But you said it was!"

Bakura rolled his eyes as they made their way back into the thick jungle.


"This can't happen!" I shouted, even though there was no one around to hear me. "It can't! HEY!" Somehow I managed to stand on my feet while still taped down to the chair and waddled over to the stairs. "Untie me! I have to prevent yaoi from happening!" When they didn't answer, I groaned before pacing the room. Luckily they hadn't also strapped my legs.

As I walked and my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I glanced up and saw an old phone on the wall. Perfect! I said a quick 'thank you' to God and hopped over to it. I couldn't use my hands, so instead I hit the phone with my head - which hurt, by the way - causing it to land on the floor. After taking off my shoes, I pressed the numbers with my toe and then let myself topple to the floor, landing on my side so that my face was only half an inch away from the phone.

"Come on!" I said impatiently as the phone rang. "We don't have a lot of time!"

There was a click and then, "Yeah?"

"Hi. Do you have some means of entering a fanfic to prevent something from happening?"

"Yes I do."

"Thank goodness! And do you know somebody who can come and get me out of here?"

"Yes I do."

"Great! How soon can you get here?"

"Yes I do."

Oh. Wrong number.

I groaned as I got back up and redialed.