WARNING: This chapter contains . . . [Language]
Edit Update: 1/1/2016
Did some majorly minor editing.
"Frig, frig, frig, frig, frig!" Was all that Marik could say as they neared yet another chasm. But instead of a fallen tree, there were tall rocks that acted as stepping stones, meaning that Artax would have to jump from rock to rock.
Bakura stiffened when his companion wrapped his arms around him once more. He was beginning to get used to it, but vivid images still danced in his mind whenever Marik latched on like a baby koala hanging onto his mother. "Just hold on."
"What the hell do you think I'm doing?! Dancing the frigging polka?!"
Bakura cringed. Why did Marik have to have such strong vocal cords? He wondered if he was going to go deaf by the time they reached their destination. "I just meant that you should hang on until we reach the other side."
"Well DUH! I already knew that!"
"Well if you do, then would you please shut up?"
"No, you shut up!"
"I asked you first."
"I asked you second!"
"That doesn't bloody count!"
"Why does everything have to be bloody with you?"
"You've known me for five years, and you're just now asking this question?"
"I just hadn't thought about it."
"Like everything else."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"It means that you're a wanker."
"No I'm not!"
"Stop shouting into my bloody ear! Buggering bastard."
"Inappropriate use of the word 'bugger'!"
"I can say 'bugger' however the bloody hell I want!"
"Don't make me turn this car around!"
"This isn't a bloody car, and you're not the one who is driving it!"
"Then don't make me make you turn this horse around!"
"I would like to see you try."
"I would if I wanted to."
"So try it."
"I choose not to."
"You choose not to because you can't."
"Whenever you open your mouth, you always find a way to piss me off!"
"And whenever you open yours, you sound like an idiot."
"Sometimes I wonder why I ever asked you to join forces with me in the first frigging place!"
"I wonder that myself."
"Maybe when we get to El Dorado, we should part ways!"
"Fine, Marik! Let's do just that!"
This made Marik pause. "You really mean that?"
Bakura was surprised by how hurt Marik sounded. He sighed. "Of course not." Lying always came easily to him, and yet he had difficulty saying those three words.
"Well good." Marik nodded in satisfaction. "After all, who else would do my laundry?"
Bakura groaned.
"And you would be totally lost without me." Marik continued. "You need me, Bakura."
Need you. Want you. Crave you. "Is that so?"
"Don't you know, you need me." Marik sang. "Don't you see, believe me. Before you act so hasti-AAAAHHHH!"
Artax had leapt onto the first rock and was now jumping onto each one to get to the other side of the chasm, Marik screaming and bursting Bakura's eardrum all the while.
I had been running for who-knows-how-long when I finally turned around to face the stampede of women. "STOP!"
To my surprise, they actually did as I said and the anti-yaoi girl crossed her arms over her rather large chest while Stacie arched an eyebrow, waiting for me to say my piece.
"Thank you." I took a deep breath and let it out before starting my speech. "Listen. Why do we have to judge each other based on our likes and dislikes? Isn't this a free country where people are allowed to have different opinions? We're all equal human beings, aren't we? So instead of raising our guns, we should be raising our hands and hug our fellow man. And that's why . . ." I ran to the anti-yaoi girl and glomped her, a blissful look on my face. I did say that she had big boobs, didn't I?
Stacie pried me off. "Did you say all that just so you could bury your face in her breasts?"
I shrugged. "I wanted to touch 'em at least once before I die."
The anti-yaoi leader punched me hard enough to send me flying into the air and shot at me, as if I was a duck during hunting season. Except I wasn't a duck and she was using a machine gun as she shouted that I was a pervert. Lucky for me, she had terrible aim. But that didn't stop the fact that I was heading towards the ground where I would become a pancake on the cement. I said a quick prayer, and God answered by sending the A-Team, who spun the plane underneath me so that I would fall through the open door and into the plane. Screw you, physics! The yaoi and anti-yaoi girls all tried to shoot it down, but we managed to get away. I was gonna live for another day!
"Thanks, guys!" And I meant it.
"Why did I let you fools talk me into this?" BA asked, his fingers digging into his seat.
"Don't worry." I placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'll buy you some milk when we land."
