WARNING: This chapter contains . . . [Language / Suggestive Narration]


Edit Update: 1/1/2016

Did some majorly minor editing.


After the rock jumping incident, Marik had remained unusually quiet. Bakura guessed that he was either still recovering from their short journey over the second chasm or he was still thinking about their equally short argument. Marik was the type who forgot whole conversations right when he finished talking, so the probability of him remembering their discussion was highly unlikely. But something was different now. His demeanor had changed, and it reminded Bakura of all the times Marik talked about his past. A smile would be on his face and the words that came out of his mouth were as stupid as ever, and yet his body language seemed tame, like a calm tide before it turned into a menacing hurricane that wiped towns off of the map. It was as if he were repressing how he truly felt on the matter, afraid that he might lash out and tear out someone's eye with the dagger that was concealed within the Millennium Rod. Bakura knew that if Marik was always like this, it was possible that he could become an intimidating villain. He chuckled at the thought. Marik was too innocent and would flip back to his old self soon enough.

"We need a plan!" Sure enough . . .

"A plan for what?"

"Isn't it obvious? We need a plan for when we arrive in El Dorado."

"Oh, right. That." Before he had actually been looking forward to it, anxious to get them back home and make Marik fulfill his promise, but now he found himself dreading it. Bakura now knew for certain that he had made the right choice. He mustn't get attached to anyone. The only company he needed were his victims.

"When we arrive in El Dorado, I shall enslave them all and order them to give me all of their gold!"

Bakura rolled his eyes upward and repressed a groan. "And how exactly would you go about doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Enslaving everybody. Your Rod only works on Steves."

Marik straightened up, allowing cool air to enter the gap between them that he had created, which caused Bakura to shiver. "Oh trust me. I'm a master of manipulation."

Bakura snorted. "You wouldn't be able to convince a drowning man to grab a life preserver."

When Bakura turned his head to throw a smirk at the Egyptian, he saw that Marik was glaring at him as he pouted, an expression that Bakura always thought was both cute and ridiculous, which always made it hard for him to keep a straight face.

"Not only would I be able to command him to grab that life preserver," Marik insisted, "but I would also sell him a vacuum cleaner for $19.99 and a free potato peeler that is actually not free because of shipping and handling." He crossed his arm. "Honestly, I don't know why they always try to get rid of their unwanted junk by giving it away and saying it's free if you buy something else. It doesn't make any frigging sense!"

"Nothing about Americans makes sense." Bakura explained. "All they're known for is their feeble attempts to recycle their films and that they're ignorant, entitled slobs who live on a hamburger and beer diet."

"Is that why there are no sexy anime villains in America?" Marik asked.

"Unless you're into fat bald men who do nothing but watch sports and women who had plastic surgery and their fat sucked out of them."

"Wow, Bakura. I had no idea!" Marik paused. "No wonder 4Kids is so messed up."

"And don't even get me started on Bronies. How any man can watch a show about colorful talking horses is beyond me."

"Frig you, Americans and your crappy English dubs!" Marik cried out while brandishing his Rod.

"Stop that!" Bakura said as he ducked to avoid getting whacked in the head.

Marik did as he was told and smiled. "This trip has certainly been educational."

"And we were able to accomplish insulting every one of our American fans."

Marik opened his mouth to continue the conversation when Churro jumped out of the foliage, running in front of the horse while making loud squeaks as he waved his arms.

"What is it, Churro?" Marik asked as the small animal spun in small circles.

"Don't you even think about making a Lassie reference." Because Bakura knew that he probably would.

Churro darted off and Artax, who probably knew the armadillo language, raced after him, both Marik and Bakura clinging on to prevent themselves from flying off his back. When the two mammals came to a complete stop, Bakura looked at their surroundings and pulled out the map. Churro had somehow led them right to the next land marker, which was a clear body of water that was constantly being replenished by two waterfalls that poured out of a cluster of massive rocks that resembled a human face, the water cascading out of the eyes to resemble tears. Bakura couldn't help but admit that this spot was rather nice. It was certainly better than the other places they had been thus far.

Marik gasped as a look of pure joy appeared on his tanned face. "I didn't know that there was a water park out here!"

"Marik, this isn't-"

"Whee!" The excited Egyptian boy rushed towards the 'water park', Churro and Artax following close behind.

Bakura groaned and began rubbing his temples. Sometimes he felt like a mother trying to keep her overactive child under control, with no success. But his headache mysteriously disappeared as he watched Marik take off his shirt. He never grew tired of staring at his companion's physic. It wasn't very often that someone like Marik came into being. A true piece of art that was created to be admired. Bakura sometimes found himself wondering if the reason why Marik was such an idiot was because God had put all of His energy into the boy's body and had nothing leftover for Marik's brain power functions.

"Hey, Bakura!" Marik waved at him as he began to swim, grinned from ear-to-ear. "Why don't you come in? Are you scared you'll have too much fun?"

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of." If he got into the water with Marik, who had stripped down to the black swimming trunks that Officer Trudge had forced them to wear, Bakura knew that he would find himself doing things that would bump this fanfiction up to the M-rating. "Too much fun."

So instead, he sat down on a nearby rock and simply watched as he let himself imagine what would have happened if he had gotten in with him. But he stopped when he realized that it only made him want to do it even more. Without his thiefshipping fanart and other yaoi pictures to scroll through, it was becoming more and more difficult to suppress his urges with each day that passed by. Luckily El Dorado wasn't too far off, because Bakura didn't know how much longer he could control himself.

As he continued to enjoy the view, Officer Trudge lifted up his binoculars and watched from the bush that he was currently using for cover. It was true that he was supposed to go back to the real world right after preventing the two young men from committing the Fanfction Rating Violation, but he didn't trust them. Especially the white haired one, who couldn't keep his brown eyes off of the hyper kid. That one had all of the clear-cut signs: twitching eye, secret glances, flushed face, lustful expression. Yep. That guy was definitely an A-class sex fiend; just like every other teenage boy out there.

"He looks like he's gonna be troubles." Trudge said to himself after lowering the binoculars, not noticing that a small bird had landed on top of his helmet.

When he carried on with his spying, he first checked on Marik, who was splashing water on Artax as Churro floated on his back. Everything looked fine there. He then turned his attention to Bakura, who was looking in his direction. Trudge ducked and hid, disturbing the bird in the process, who flew out of the bush with a few angry chirps.

"What is it, Bakura?" Marik asked as he tried to see whatever his pale companion was staring at.

"Nothing." Bakura answered. "I thought I saw something there but it was just a bird."

"Was it the same one that gave us those directions? If so, be sure to thank him for me."

Bakura didn't answer. It was obvious that Marik was never going to comprehend that 'a little bird told me' was just a figure of speech. Instead, he stood up. "Let's go, Marik." He said as he hopped off the rock.

"But Bakura!" Marik whined. "I haven't even gotten on the slid yet!" He pointed at the crying rock.

"The sooner we get to bloody El Dorado, the better." He felt a pang in his chest when his plans to leave Marik entered his mind.

"Come on, Bakura! Just one time!" Marik was now hopping up and down, creating minuscule tidal waves as he did.

"We're leaving, Marik."

The young Egyptian slowly made his way out of the water as he sulked. "Fun wrecker."

"You're the one who wants to get to El Dorado so bloody much."

"But the water slide!"

"It's not even a-" Why did Marik have to give him that look? And why now of all times? He already felt like he was practically going to explode, and Marik's pleading puppy eyes just made it worse. If he didn't do something soon . . . "Fine, you can ride the bloody water slide." Before he finished speaking, Marik had already begun running off to do just that.

As he watched him go, Bakura smiled to himself. There was no way that Marik would be able to find a way up there. The rock formations were almost as tall as skyscrapers. It was one hundred percent impossible. And yet he found himself looking up at Marik, who was sitting in one of the holes that acted as the left eye socket.

Bakura felt his eyes widen as a wave of dread washed over him. "Marik. Don't-"

Marik jumped, and Bakura waited for his body to land on one of the rocks. He could practically hear the loud splat from the boy's body being crushed and his blood spraying in all directions, making the human faced rock formation cry red tears. But to his amazement - and great relief - Marik had found a smooth route down and he was sliding towards the body of water below with his hands up in the air, as if he really were on a water slide. But it didn't stop there. The route ended with a rock that jutted outward, resembling a ramp, and it caused Marik to fly into the air. Bakura readied himself for Marik to turn into a human pancake once more, but again his worry was for not because Marik had done a graceful flip before performing a perfect dive. As Bakura stood there with his mouth agape, Artax and Churro held up signs with 9.9 written on them before Trudge cautiously did the same.

"That . . . " Bakura was lost for words. "That was . . ."

"Amazing, right?" Marik said as he grabbed his clothes.

"That was . . ." he clenched his fist, "the stupidest thing you have ever done! And that's saying a f****** lot!"

"What are you getting all upset about?" Marik asked as he put on his shirt. "It's just a water slide, for frig's sake. It's not like the owners would allow one that was life threatening or something."

Bakura wanted to shout at him, or better yet, punch him, for making him worry like that. It was a feeling he wasn't used to, and he hated it. But he was somehow able to calm himself down when he reminded himself of his future plans. When he left him, he wouldn't have to feel that state of panic ever again. "Let's go." He said as he stormed off, not bothering to make sure that Marik was following.

Artax and Churro gathered around Marik with worried expressions on their long faces before the three of them chased after Bakura, Officer Trudge stealthily bringing up the rear.