They decide to wait on moving forward with the BARF technology until after Stark has had his surgery, which isn't until the beginning of August, but it gives Stark some more time to streamline the tech a little and work out any kinks. The delay is fine with the Asset too, because it gives him a little more time to try to figure out what he had seen in his memory/malfunction with Howard.
Howard Stark. He turns the name over in his head, doing his best to remember the man's face. He can't deny that there is a striking resemblance to Stark… and… and he's pretty sure that Stark had triggered memories of Howard before… but he had been too confused by the rest of the changes around him to really think about it until now.
Howard seems to have been our mission supplier, he thinks as he analyses the few memories he can confidently assign to the man. His handler had gotten his shield from Howard and, based off of what he can remember, the man had obviously been assigned to maintain the Asset's various weapons as well.
His role is actually pretty similar to Stark's, now that he thinks about it… the two of them taking care of and equipping the team for their missions. His brow furls and he chews on the inside of his cheek as he thinks over the two men. Something about Howard and Stark seems… important.
He's still thinking about it that night after his handler goes to sleep, his mind seemingly unable to let the man go now that he remembers him. He tosses and turns a little on the couch (although, not too much for fear of falling off) before finally sitting up with a huff and looking up towards the ceiling. He's obviously not going to get any rest until he figures this out and there's one source that he's pretty sure will be able to help him.
"JARVIS?" He says in a low whisper, his pulse speeding up habitually.
"Yes, Sergeant Barnes?" JARVIS replies, his voice, as usual, slightly hushed so as to not disturb his handler.
The Asset swallows and shifts a little on the couch. "Do… do you know someone named Howard Stark?"
Silence falls for a moment before JARVIS projects a black and white image of a mustached man unto the wall beside him. "Is this who you are referring to?" JARVIS asks, and the Asset nods, squinting a little at the bright light of the hologram. The image flickers and JARVIS moves on to display a basic debriefing file on Howard, and the Asset takes it in with wide eyes.
Birth: August 15, 1917
Death: December 16, 1991
Marital status: Married— Maria Stark née Carbonell
Extended family: Anthony Stark
The list goes on, but the Asset finds himself transfixed by the listed family members, his mouth suddenly dry as he reads over the name again. His eyes flick over the document and he mentally pulls up the faces of both Howard and Stark.
"JARVIS," he says quietly. "Stark is… How is Anthony Stark related to Howard?"
"Sir is the biological son of Howard Stark," JARVIS replies, and the Asset nods slowly, the pieces of his memories/malfunctions starting to make more sense. It's not surprising, now that he understands, that Stark would remind him of Howard because Howard was his father.
Stark had never mentioned his father before— or his mother, now that he thinks about it— and he can't help wondering about that a little. Now that he knows he knew Howard, a part of him kind of wishes that Stark would talk about it. There seems to be very few people around that he actually knows, besides his handler.
Talking about Howard with Stark almost seems like a pleasant idea, despite how little he can actually remember about the man… But obviously Stark doesn't feel comfortable talking about Howard, for whatever reason, or he's sure it would have come up before now, so it's probably best if he just leaves it alone for now.
He turns back to the hologram. "Is Maria Stark still living?" He asks JARVIS, unable to keep from noticing that Stark had never brought up the woman before either.
"She is not," JARVIS replies, the hologram flickering to show a smiling woman with brown hair and a blue dress.
That explains it, the Asset thinks as he looks over the picture. If both Maria and Howard are dead, it is not surprising that Stark would not want to talk about them much.
"Thank you, JARVIS," he says with a nod, and the AI shuts down the hologram.
"You are most welcome, Sergeant Barnes."
oOo
The day of Stark's surgery arrives, and the Avengers congregate in the common room to see him off.
"Well." Stark shrugs into the coat that Pepper offers him. Behind him, another friend name Rhodey waits patiently by the elevator. "I'll see you guys on the other side."
His handler gives Stark a small smile and crosses his arms. "Good luck Tony," he says.
Stark flashes him a quick smile and a mock salute before turning away with Pepper and Rhodey, the elevator opening for them automatically. The Asset watches as they step in and the doors close behind them, a strange feeling of unease settling into his stomach.
He knows he doesn't need to be worried about Stark's surgery. The doctor they had chosen is apparently very advanced in his field and very skilled at delicate surgeries so everything should be fine… but the thought of one of the Avengers going to the hospital doesn't sit right with him.
—He steps into Steve's room and winces slightly at the ragged breathing that greets him. Behind him he can hear his Ma and Ma Rogers talking in hushed tones in the living room, their voices tight and strained as they discuss doctor's expenses and whether or not they should call in Rev. Johnson to see to Steve.
He swallows and tries not to think too hard as to why they might feel the need to call a priest to Steve's bedside. Instead he takes a step further into the room and skates his eyes over to where Steve is laid out on his bed.
Sweat beads up on Steve's forehead, his hair damp and sticking up at odd angles as he tosses his head a little, his eyes squeezed shut as he sucks in another laboured breath. The image leaves him shaken and he fiddles with the edges of his shirt as he watches Steve struggle to breathe.
This isn't the first time he's seen him sick in bed. Steve has been laid up enough times with colds and asthma attacks and just plain exhaustion that the sight isn't uncommon. But it's different this time. This time even Ma Rogers doesn't know if he'll get better and judging from the look in her eye—
"Bucky?" His head snaps up at the raspy sound of his name and he meets Steve's glazed and feverish gaze.
"Steve," he gasps, taking a step forward, his hand reaching out. On the bed, Steve struggles to sit up and he rushes to push him back down again. "Steve, you gotta rest."
Steve's breath wheezes and he finds his heart stuttering along with it. "You gotta—" Steve coughs and grabs desperately at his hand. "I— I heard the doc. You gotta— you gotta tell 'em I'm not—" His eyes glint and his hand tightens. "I'm not gonna die," he grits out determinedly. "Not yet. I'm not gonna."
His throat closes up for a second and he nods, his eyes wet. "Okay, Stevie," he says quietly. "Okay."—
"Bucky?" He blinks and gives his head a shake. Coming back to reality and turning to look over at his handler, his chest tight at the thought of how close he had seemed to death in that memory/malfunction.
"Bruce said he's going to make lunch," his handler tells him, eyeing him a little as though to make sure he's listening. The Asset nods and moves to follow him to the kitchen island where Barton is setting out plates and cutlery for everyone. He eyes his handler's broad shoulders and decides he's glad he doesn't look as sick and frail as he used to.
It isn't until after lunch, when his handler goes down to the gym to train with Romanoff and he goes up to his room to write down his most recent memory/malfunction, that he realises he'd called his handler Stevie in it.
He mulls the name over in his mind for a moment and finds he likes the sound of it, even if he's not sure if calling his handler that now would be acceptable. (A part of him can't help thinking that his handler probably wouldn't mind though, if he did.)
oOo
Stark has to stay in the hospital for a week after his surgery, and even though the Asset hadn't really spent a lot of time with him, the tower still feels a little quieter without him.
They all go in to visit him on the third day, and the Asset gets the impression that generally, six people are not allowed to go in to visit someone at once, but the nurses seem willing to bend the rules for the Avengers and Tony Stark.
Stark is awake and lucid when they come in and the Asset steps back to allow the other Avengers to come closer. He's glad he had been allowed to accompany them on this trip – the sight of Stark alive and relatively healthy doing a great deal to ease his mind – but he still doesn't really know Stark all that well, and he has no idea what one would say to someone sitting in the hospital.
"How are you feeling, Tony?" Banner asks as the Avengers spread themselves around the room. Stark waves his hand carefully and flashes him a grin.
"Oh, you know," he says casually. "I'm already sick of hospital food. Have you guys seen the kinds of things they feed us here?"
Barton then goes off on what kind of food SHEILD used to serve in their med bays and Natasha chimes in with a story about how Barton had once tried to hide a bullet wound because fish had been on the menu that day, which earns a stern general announcement from Banner that hiding wounds for any reason is not acceptable (he seems to aim his words in the particular direction of his handler and Stark, which the Asset finds amusing.)
The meeting wraps up once Stark becomes visibly tired, and they all begin to file out with nods and well wishes. For his part, the Asset hadn't been intending to say anything, but Stark calls after him.
"We'll get started on BARF right away, once I'm out of here," he tells him, and the Asset gives him a quiet nod.
oOo
Stark returns from the hospital by the end of the week and is put on a strict regiment of light, non-strenuous work by Pepper. Stark whines and grumbles at the restraints, but the Asset gets the impression that it's more for show than anything else. Even if it's not, the Avengers are 100% on board the 'keep Stark from overdoing it' train, and it's unlikely that he'll be able to get away with anything if he tries.
Of course, it would be impossible to keep Stark from his work completely, but luckily JARVIS' presence makes it so that Stark can do most of his designing and tinkering sitting down, only needing his voice to order JARVIS to test this-and-that or change such-and-such.
He continues to work on the BARF technology and the Asset finds himself spending more and more time in his lab. His handler accompanies him for the first few times, but eventually Stark tells him it's fine to leave, and Handler-Steve begins to leave him with Stark when he goes off to his doctor's appointments.
Such as today, for example. He's in the lab, busy watching Stark push himself around on a rolling chair and trying not to think too hard about the regularity of his handler's doctor's appointments. It's difficult not to worry about. His handler had said that the serum had healed him of his various ailments, but the Asset can remember better now how sick his handler used to get— and his handler goes to the doctor nearly every week, surely something must be going on, and he can't help worrying that maybe the serum hadn't healed his handler as thoroughly as he'd claimed.
"Okay, try this on," Stark rolls up toward him, cutting off his train of thought and holding out a pair of glasses. The Asset blinks and reaches out to take them, a set of lights on the arm of the glasses lighting up as he puts them on.
"Okay J," Stark pushes away and rolls over to a desk. "How we lookin'?"
"The frames seem to be able to pick up on Sergeant Barnes' brainwaves," JARVIS replies. "It is likely they will prove an effective tool for the BARF technology."
Stark lets out a whoop, his arms twitching like he wants to pump his fists in the air but thinks better of it. "Good," he says, looking up at him. "Now you won't have to be trailing a load of wires." He rubs his hands together. "We'll tell Steve the good news once he gets back."
The Asset nods and he wonders if Stark knows the reason his handler goes to doctor's appointments all the time.
Handler-Steve gets back, and they meet him together in the common room. "So, from the tech side of things, we're ready," Stark tells him, easing himself down on the couch beside where Wilson is reading. "We just need to decide our game plan and go."
"That's good to hear," his handler says, moving to sit across from Stark. Wilson doesn't look up as he moves, but he does shift his feet so the Asset can settle down on the couch next to him. The Asset does so and listens in as Stark and Handler-Steve work on figuring out how to remove his trigger words.
"I'll have JARVIS make a recording of you saying the trigger words," Stark says. "That way we'll have the whole sequence without you having to actually trigger Barnes. After that I think it's just a matter of exposure to the words and retro-framing with the BARF tech."
"You think the tech will work?" His handler asks, leaning forward almost anxiously.
Stark shrugs. "All I can say is it seems logically sound. Barnes will get a chance to be desensitized to the words and the retro-framing will allow him to mentally practice resisting the sequence itself."
His handler nods satisfied, and he and Stark settle a time for him to record the trigger words before Stark heaves himself up and disappears back down to his labs, saying something about informing Beck about his breakthrough on the BARF glasses.
His handler sighs and leans back in his chair before looking up as Wilson shuts his book and sits up a little. His handler looks over, and Wilson gives him a look. "There's a few things I wanted to talk to you two about," he says. His handler doesn't seem surprised and he nods as the Asset looks over, intrigued. Wilson sets his book aside and looks them both in the eye. "This thing that Stark is suggesting, I believe it's going to help… but you do realise it's going to bring up a lot of bad memories too, right?"
His handler's lips press together as he nods reluctantly and the Asset swallows, his hands moving to clasp together in his lap.
Wilson nods at them and leans forward to place his elbows on his knees, turning his head to address the Asset directly. "Bucky…" he begins slowly. "Have you given any thought to whether or not you want Steve there in the room with you? I assume Stark, and maybe Beck need to be there to manage the tech but, what you're going to be doing is pretty intimate and you might not want everyone to see the things you do."
The Asset swallows and his hands press together tighter in his lap as he scans Wilson. He hadn't really thought about that before, but now that he's thinking about it, he isn't sure how he feels about having his memories projected for everyone to see.
"Of course," Wilson continues. "Having someone there with you might be comforting, so it's really up to you."
He flicks his eyes up to his handler and he can understand why it might be nice to have him there to help ground him while going through his memories… But he can't help thinking how upset his handler had been the last time he'd been triggered. His handler obviously has some problems with how Hydra had been run, and watching them in first person probably wouldn't be good for him at all.
His handler leans forward, catching his eye. "Either one you want is fine Buck," he says earnestly. "And if you change your mind at any point, that's okay too."
The Asset finds himself fiddling with his fingers and he looks down, trying to decide what he wants. Both Wilson and his handler seem to be completely open to either option, and so far no one has ever gotten mad at him for any of his choices, so he's confident enough to trust that whatever he chooses really will be fine… he just needs to figure out what he wants.
He thinks back to his handler's pale face next to his bedside when Barton had triggered him, and he looks up. "I… can do it alone," he says slowly, his resolve hardening.
Wilson nods, offering him a gentle smile. "Okay then," he says, leaning back. "Are you okay with Stark being there? Or Beck? I think they have to be there, but we might be able to come up with something."
The Asset nods in acceptance. "That's fine," he says quickly, wanting to move on from the whole 'making decisions' part of the conversation. He finds he doesn't mind as much the thought of Stark seeing his memories. He doesn't know Stark as well, and he knows Beck even less, so he doesn't have to worry as much about their personal reactions to the scenes.
"Okay." He looks over to his handler who's offering him a small, tight smile. "That's okay, just…" He darts his eyes around the room for a second before looking back at him. "If you ever want to talk about anything, that's okay too."
The Asset nods again and his handler seems to relax, his smile widening as he breathes in. Wilson smiles at him too and the Asset has to duck his head at the sheer amount of pride that seems to be radiating off of the two men. He can't help it when his mouth quirks up a little at the edges too.
oOo
Despite his decision to go ahead with everything, and despite all the reassurances from his handler and the other Avengers, he can't help feeling almost sick with nerves on the day of the first full test of the machine.
He stands in the middle of the room, glasses on his face and Stark and Beck off to the side with the monitors, and he tries to breathe, knowing any second now, Stark is going to start playing the recording of his handler saying the trigger words.
"Okay," Stark says, carefully taking his seat and casting one last look over the computer screens. "So, given how this is all rather experimental, I'm just going to play one of the words today." He taps something on the screen. "Your job is just to sit there and think, then we'll see where that goes."
The Asset nods and swallows, trying to relax his shoulders as he waits for the first trigger word.
"Желаниe."
He tries not to tense – because really, triggering shouldn't be a big deal – but he can't help the slight hunching of his shoulders as the word echoes from the speakers set up on the walls of the room. Stark had made it so that the mics and cameras are mounted to the walls, so as to not be in the way, and now, as he looks around, a holographic image begins to form in front of him.
He doesn't exactly know what to expect as the hologram flickers into view, Stark had said that the BARF tech can pick up on subconscious thoughts as well as intentional ones and he had been too busy worrying about the trigger words themselves to actually think of something specific to project.
The scene solidifies and he can immediately tell from the dark lighting that it's set in the Siberian base he'd been stationed at before coming to America. He shivers slightly and watches the hologram of himself sitting in his recalibration chair, his body shaking and gasping as behind him, Handler-Karpov paces and recites the trigger sequence.
"Pжавый," he says, and the Asset shudders, his programming waking up for the first time in a long time. His holographic self jerks as well, breathing in sharply and closing his eyes. "Семнадцать," Handler-Karpov continues, and the Asset has to swallow down a wave of nausea at the words.
"Рассвет," Handler-Karpov says, and he can feel himself relaxing into the sequence, his eyes closing as his breathing slows and he settles down to wait for his next mission—
Wait no. His eyes fly open and he jerks back a step, realising suddenly that he's about to be triggered by the blasted hologram. This is the exact opposite of the goal of the exercise— and if he gets triggered now he has no idea what's going to happen—
"Печь," Handler-Karpov says, and he panics, reaching up and snatching off the glasses with his right hand, his breaths loud and sharp in the room as the hologram disintegrates, the cameras no longer connected to the data they need to project anything. He sucks in a breath and stumbles back until his shoulders hit the wall behind him, his right hand shaking as he clutches the glasses.
"Okay." He snaps his head up to see Stark standing up carefully and stepping away from the computers, his hands raised as he keeps his distance. Beside him, Beck only stares at him, a thoughtful look on his face. "Okay," Stark says again slowly. "So, maybe we didn't think that all the way through."
The Asset breathes in and nods shakily. Across from him, Stark swallows and looks him over, his feet shifting indecisively where he's standing, and the Asset can't help thinking that he should probably sit down soon, given how he's still healing.
"We can take a break if you want," Stark says, without sitting down. "You can go… do whatever you do to calm down and we can try again later." A look of annoyance flashes over Beck's face before being carefully hidden again and Stark keeps talking. "Maybe I should have explained this part a little better, but when you're watching the holograms, you don't have to let them play out if you don't want to."
The Asset blinks at him and finds himself slowly relaxing as Stark begins to ramble, his hands moving as much as his recent surgery will allow him. "That's the whole point of it really," he says. "You have complete control. You can make it so they say the wrong word or so the triggering doesn't work." His hand waves. "That's what the whole 'retro-framing' part of the tech is about. It won't replace your memories, but it can help you reprocess them, and hopefully get used to resisting the whole triggering thing."
The Asset nods slowly and finds his shoulders a little looser than they'd used to be. His eyes flick over the cameras on the walls before he sucks in a deep breath and steps back into the middle of the room. Stark stops talking as he moves, his hands still as his eyes follow his progress.
"I can go again," he tells him, already slipping the glasses back on and breathing through the nerves in his stomach.
"Really?" Stark asks a little dubiously and the Asset nods determinedly, his jaw clenching. He knows that Stark had offered to end the session for now, but while the last incident may have shaken him, he'd come here for a reason and he's not about to give up after the first try. The BARF tech is supposed to help him, and it isn't going to work if he doesn't keep working with it.
And… he has to admit that part of him wants to see if he really can resist the triggering sequence from Handler-Karpov.
Stark nods slowly at him and moves over to finally sit down again, his face tight as he waits for the Asset to begin again. For his part, the Asset sucks in a breath and closes his eyes, trying to pull up the scene from before.
"Pжавый." Handler-Karpov says, and he opens his eyes, watching anew as his holographic self sits in the chair and Handler-Karpov reads out the trigger words.
"Семнадцать."
He closes his eyes again and breathes in evenly, fighting the urge to succumb to the triggering sequence. Make it so they say the wrong word, Stark had said, and he furls his brow, trying to think of the word he wants to use.
"Рассвет." Daybreak.
"Печь." Furnace.
"Девять." Nine.
"Иаков." James.
He opens his eyes and holo-Karpov reflects the surprise he feels at the unexpected word in the sequence. "Иаков," he says again and the Asset watches in a semi-stunned state as his holo-self gives his head a shake and looks over at Handler-Karpov, his eyes confused but sharper than they had been.
His own mouth quirks up slightly as he watches his holo-self sit up and begin tugging at the restraints on his chair. He can't say for sure exactly why he had chosen Yakov as the word to throw off the triggering sequence, in fact, he can't actually remember consciously picking it… but something about it feels right anyways, and Karpov's shocked face is a sight to behold.
Of course, if something like this had happened in real life, his handler wouldn't just be standing there while he tried to free himself from his chair. Resistance is unacceptable, and even if his handler were to mess up the triggering sequence that wouldn't be an excuse for him to start disobeying—
The scene in front of him changes to one of the training rooms, his holo-self standing in a fighting stance against Josef, one of the newer Winter Soldiers. They fight, and the Asset grimaces at their ferocity before scowling at how his hair gets in the way while he's sparring. Josef gets his holo-self into an armlock and he cries out as Josef wrenches his metal arm and smashes his hand into the joint.
He has just enough time to notice Stark wincing at the scene, before a holographic wall appears at one end of the room, and Josef kicks his holo-self hard enough to send him crashing into it and tumbling to the floor. Handler-Karpov materialises, standing impassively over him, his arms folded. "Очень хорошо, Иосиф," he says. Very good, Josef.
The Asset stares, transfixed by the scene. A distant part of him knows that if he wanted to, he could try to manipulate it and change what happens, but he doesn't want to yet. He doesn't remember this scene, and he wants to know what happens before he does anything to it.
A technician steps forward to check on Josef and the Asset is abruptly reminded of the strange dream he'd had while he'd still been trying to figure out if his handler was also little-Steve. He casts his eyes around the scene, but he doesn't see his handler.
Instead he watches as Josef's rage overboils and he lashes out at the technician, smashing him to the ground with a snarl. A guard in full tactical gear flickers into view as he rushes forward to beat Josef back into submission and the soldier doesn't even flinch.
Emboldened, the other Winter Soldiers appear and stand up, turning their eyes to the technicians and guards around the room. Beside his holo-self, Handler-Karpov's confidence crumbles and he pulls out his gun. "Солдат, вытащи меня отсюда!" He snaps, aiming at both his holo-self and the other soldiers. Soldier, get me out of here!
His holo-self complies, glaring murderously and dragging Handler-Karpov away from the carnage as the Winter Soldiers begin to tear apart the ranks of guards and technicians. Karpov holds his gun up uselessly, following almost meekly as his holo-self fights off one of the Winter Soldiers and pulls Karpov into one of the nearby cells, shutting the door and standing in front of him defensively.
The Winter Soldiers continue to fight, seemingly more for the thrill of bloodlust rather than for any particular goal, and they glare at him through the bars as Handler-Karpov speaks frantically into his radio.
The Asset watches as it takes a whole squad of soldiers armed with tranq guns and shock batons to finally subdue the raging Winter Soldiers. Once down, guards dressed in black rush into the room and begin to hogtie the fallen soldiers, while behind his holo-self, Karpov begins to relax.
He breathes out and holsters his gun, looking over at his holo-self. He clicks his tongue. "Sputn—"
Stark curses and slams his hand down on a button on the computer console, killing the hologram as the Asset sways on his feet, stumbling a little as he fights against getting shutdown again. Stark curses again and runs a hand through his hair, before wincing and placing a hand on his chest.
"That was real?" he says as the Asset gives his head a shake, blinking a little at the strange feeling of almost being triggered. He looks up at Stark and the man is looking rather pale. "That was real, right?" He says again. "Those were Hydra's Winter Soldiers they made from the serum?"
The Asset reaches up to pull off his glasses and nods, his mind spinning at what he'd just seen. "Yes," he says quietly. "Those are Hydra's Winter Soldiers."
AN: I hope you enjoyed Bucky's first full session with the BARF tech! They had a bit of a close call, and some interesting results.
Also, Tony got his arc reactor removed and will have a six-week recovery now, and now they have confirmation on Hydra's Winter Soldiers, which obviously has some concerning implications.
