WARNING: This chapter contains . . . [Language / Suggestive Dialogue]


Edit Update: 1/1/2016

Did some majorly minor editing.


When Bakura opened his eyes and realized that they had somehow survived the fall, he found himself thanking the fact that they were cartoon characters. Any normal human being would have surely died. But because cartoon characters from Japan were more susceptible to injuries than the ones in America, he still felt like a sledgehammer had tried to crack open his skull as he tried to push himself up. After muttering a few choice words, he managed to stand on wobbly legs and began scanning the area for Marik, who was usually very easy to find. But not this time.

"Where the bloody hell has that idiot gone?" Bakura grumbled as he looked around.

It was apparent that Marik and his animal friends had taken off somewhere. After investigating the site, he found hoof prints that led off into the distance. Did Marik leave him behind? Or was he so stupid that he had simply forgotten about him like in Home Alone?

"It's a good thing you're pretty, Marik." Bakura said as he stomped off in the direction of the hoof prints. "Otherwise I'd have to suffocate you."

After following the trail for a couple of yards, the mist began to clear up, exposing a woman who was standing in front of a giant rock. A woman that he recognized.

"What are you doing here?" Bakura asked as he walked over to her.

Ishizu turned to face him. "I saw a vision that you and my brother would be banished to the FanFiction Realm, so I placed myself in here to help you get out."

"If you knew this was going to bloody happen, then why didn't you bloody warn us about it before it bloody happened to prevent it in the first bloody place?!"

"Because shut up."

"Hey, Ishizu!" Marik's shrill voice called out before making his way around the rock to join his sister. His blond hair was dripping wet and he was attempting to dry it with a towel that had an Egyptian eye print on it, which matched the bathrobe that he was wearing. "We're out of soap again."

"Marik, that was the fifth one I had given you."

"I've been in the jungle for almost a week! I need to make up for all the days I didn't wash."

"Where the bloody hell have you been?!" Bakura glanced at Marik's new attire. "And where did you get that?"

"I had made preparations for your arrival." Ishizu explained. "I used the Millennium Necklace to show me what you needed."

"Then why didn't you bring more frigging soap?" Marik asked. "If I wanted to smell bad, I would be a cosplayer."

Bakura flinched, remembering the time when his parents had dressed him up as Sailor Moon. "You said something about getting us out, right?"

Ishizu nodded. "Follow me."

Marik's sister went behind the massive rock and the two boys followed until they came upon Artax and Churro, who were relaxing next to a rather small tent that looked like it would barely hold one person, let alone two or three - depending on whether Ishizu was going to be keeping them company or not. Bakura was just about to ask about it when she crawled into the tent. This wasn't strange. But the fact that Marik also went into it without the tent bursting was. Had she dug up a cellar and put the tent on top of it? If not, than how . . . ?

Marik popped his head out and frowned at his partner in crime. "Are you coming in or not?"

"Um, is there even any room in there for all of us?"

Ishizu placed her hand on the top of her brother's head and pushed it down, causing him to face-plant. "Come in and all will be explained."

When she retreated into the tent once more, Marik spit out dirt. "Don't do that!" He ducked back in and Bakura continued to stand there, listening to their sibling quarrel. "It frigging pisses me off!"

"Marik, watch your language."

"I refuse! I shall frigging swear whenever I frigging want to. 'Cause I'm an evil bitch, baby."

"It looks like I will have to wash your mouth with soap."

"Ha! You can't do that because I already used all of it! That will teach you to buy more soap in the future!"

After realizing that listening to them was giving him an even bigger headache, Bakura decided to go in, expecting a cramped space. But what he found was a massive living room with expensive Egyptian styled furnishings and décor. Ishizu was now pouring some tea into three cups and he could hear Marik ranting and singing to himself in the room to his left.

Bakura plopped onto the couch. "How is this even possible?"

Ishizu handed him one of the teacups. "I borrowed this tent from a Harry Potter fanfiction.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO FRIGGING DOING HERE?! GET THE EFFING FRIG OUT OF MY FRIGGING ROOM!"

A moment later, the door to the room that Marik was in flung open and a half naked Harry and Ron ran across the living room and out of the tent. Bakura and Ishizu both ignored it and silently sipped their tea as Marik stomped out, only wearing his pants and holding his crop-top in his clenched fist.

"Yeah! Run home to your fanfiction writer, you OOCs!" He shouted at them before he began putting his shirt on.

Normally, Bakura would have taken this opportunity to drink in both his tea and the boy's body while it was still exposed, but he decided to refrain from doing so while Marik's sister was around, unsure how she would react. He began to wonder if she had seen some of his flirtatious actions with her Millennium Item, which made him sink into his seat as he told himself to lay low and figure out how much she knew. But Marik grabbed his drink and sat down right next to him. This would usually make the white haired boy jump for joy, but with Ishizu around . . . He tried to scoot away, but he was already sitting against the armrest, making it impossible to create any space between them. It felt like that awkward moment when a teenager brings their date into the house to meet their parents, hoping that the dad didn't pull out his shotgun.

"Can you believe what just happened?" Marik asked and began making exaggerated hand gestures as he talked, almost spilling his tea in the process. "I mean, I went in there to get dressed when I heard moaning coming from the closet. And then I hear stuff like, 'make that magic happen' and 'show me your wand' and other stuff like that before they get out while I was in the middle of changing! Seriously! Don't they know anything about privacy? Kids these days. If I wanted people to stare at my gorgeous butt I would do what Bakura does and walk around the house naked with the curtains open. And what were they even doing in there anyway?"

"I'll explain it to you when you are older." Ishizu told him as she lifted her teacup to her lips.

"I know what they were doing, Ishizu. They were touching butts with their butts." A spray of tea escaped Ishizu's mouth before he continued. "What I don't get is why they were in the frigging closet. I mean, there are much better places to do it in."

"Are you sure it's not you who is in the closet?" Bakura muttered, instantly regretting it as he glanced at Ishizu, who had grabbed a kitchen towel and was busy wiping tea off of her chin.

"What are you talking about, Bakura?" Marik leaned in, their noses almost touching. "This is the living room."

"It certainly is." Bakura stammered before getting up to put his cup on the coffee table - and because his hormones were kicking in - and he sat down on the opposite side of the couch, far away from Marik, before he looked at Ishizu. "Now explain how we can get out of here."

"There is only one way out of a fanfiction once it has started." Ishizu paused and looked at them before continuing. "Both of you must make it to the end of the fanfiction. Once you do that, you will be allowed to leave."

"What happens if we don't finish it?" Bakura asked.

"If the two of you don't succeed in finishing the story, this fanfiction will be swallowed by the Void, taking the two of you along with it."

"And, what if one of us was forced to remain here?"

Ishizu's eyelids lowered slightly. "If the story is finished and one of you remains, that person will simply keep it going until they decide to leave."

"So they can leave at any time after it's finished?" When she nodded, Bakura almost let out a sigh of relief. Over time, he had realized that if he had left Marik here, the boy probably wouldn't even last a day. This had made him almost abandon his plan. But now he knew how to make it work. When they began getting the gold, Bakura would simply say that he needed to go back to the real world first to clear out a room to put their gold in, when in reality he would be giving himself a head start in getting as far away from him as possible.

Ishizu closed her eyes for a moment. "A girl will meet you in front of the giant rock in fifteen minutes."

"Why does Geico not have a jingle?" Marik asked.

The other two people in the room gave him a questioning look before she continued to explain her vision of the future. "After that, you will be surrounded by a group of men with spears, who will then take you to El Dorado."

Marik threw his hands up into the air. "Saskatchewan, here we come!"

"I must go now." Ishizu said before standing up.

"Wait." Bakura held up a hand. "You said that the only way out of this fanfiction is to complete the story."

"That's right."

"Wouldn't that mean that you can't leave yet either?"

Ishizu was silent for a moment. "Oh s***."