Naegi stared at Ogami in confusion, waiting for her to explain that she'd exaggerated, that she hadn't meant the words the way they'd sounded. But she just looked back at him, her face serious and sad.
You nearly died. The words rattled around in his head like a puzzle piece that he couldn't quite figure out how to place. He'd heard it from Togami several times before, both after he'd been attacked in the hidden room and after he'd been poisoned by Fukawa's stray needle – but as unpleasant as those experiences had been, he'd still walked away from both of them, exhausted but intact. He'd known that there had been a possibility that things could have played out differently, but since it hadn't happened, he hadn't felt any need to dwell on the might-have-beens.
But now, so weakened by blood loss that he couldn't even sit up on his own, it felt different. You nearly died. Ogami's words were so straightforward, so removed from the barely-contained fear and anger simmering through Togami's voice when he said the same thing, that they cut through any veil of distance Naegi might have put between himself and what had really happened.
The library came back to him, full of scissor-scored furniture and shredded books. Fukawa's books. He heard Jill ranting about them, laughing and snarling in turn. The echoes of his worry for her surged back through him, and he saw the barricaded doors, the gunfire, the trip ticket he'd used to reach her. He remembered being locked inside, and her unhappiness about being trapped. Her grief, her frustration… her anger. He'd gotten himself locked in the library with a serial killer, and he'd made her angry.
"Did… did Jill try to kill me?" Naegi asked, the words barely a breath above a whisper.
Ogami hesitated, frowning as she looked away from him. It was a difficult question, Naegi realized, with a sudden rush of guilt. How could he ask her to think something so awful about one of the other students? Even if he wanted to know, he shouldn't have asked her to tell him.
"I'm sorry," Naegi said. "That… wasn't fair."
The words startled her out of her thoughts, her gaze jumping back to him. "No – you do have a right to know. I don't know what her intention was when she stabbed you, but – I do know for certain that she did not want your death. After you lost consciousness, she left to find help, rather than finish what she'd begun. She came to my room and demanded that I save your life."
Naegi blinked. "She… what?"
"I have some knowledge of first aid –"
"No… that's not it," Naegi said. "How did she leave? Monokuma locked the library door." His eyes widened. "She didn't break it down, did she?"
"I don't believe so," Ogami said, frowning. "The door appeared intact when I arrived. Why would Monokuma have locked you in?"
"Well…" The thought of everything that he'd have to tell her in order to explain the trip tickets made Naegi's head ache even more in sheer exhaustion. "It's a long story."
Ogami nodded in understanding. "Very well, I'm sure Jill could provide me with further details if necessary. I didn't spend a great deal of time questioning her once I realized why she wanted my assistance."
"Oh." It occurred to Naegi, rather belatedly, that if Ogami was the one who'd helped him, the only one who had even the least amount of medical abilities – then it was probably thanks to her that he was still alive right now. "Thank you."
Ogami stared at him, something in her expression shifting towards darkness. Naegi could see an echo of the shadow that had consumed her when they'd last spoken rising in her eyes. "You don't owe me any thanks. How could I have done anything else?" She shook her head, her eyes losing focus as she looked through him to something else entirely. "You're the last truly good person left in this school."
Naegi's eyes went wide. "But… that's not true!"
Why would she say something so obviously false? He supposed that he could see why she would believe so much of what was "truly good" had disappeared from the school, after Asahina's horrible death – but what about the rest of them? Didn't she see what they'd done?
"You, Togami, Kirigiri, and Jill… all of you are good people," Naegi said, as fiercely as he was able with the weight of exhaustion hanging on him. "Togami took care of me… every time I got hurt, even when we were fighting. Kirigiri has worked so hard to keep us all alive… and to try to find a way to escape. Jill said she wouldn't kill anyone... even though it would be easier for her than anyone else. And you… you defied the mastermind for us!"
"Which was only necessary because I'd betrayed you in the first place," Ogami said. "As for the others – the way you see them speaks more for you than for them." She sighed, the sound heavy with a sorrow she'd only delayed, not dealt with. "I didn't help you out of whatever innocent generosity you are imagining. I simply didn't want to be responsible for another good person dying because of me. I couldn't bear the thought of watching my own grief reflected back to me in someone else."
That last sentence left Naegi puzzled. "Your grief… in someone else…?"
Ogami's smile was a grim thing, holding no glimmer of happiness in its depths. "I wanted to protect Hina, and I failed. The mastermind took her from me – and if she can be so easily destroyed, for an act she did in kindness and friendship, then what hope is left for me without her?" She held Naegi's gaze. "And what hope is there for Togami without you?"
Naegi stared at the girl in horror, praying that he'd misunderstood what she was trying to say. He knew that Asahina's death had been a painful blow for her – but it couldn't really have caused her to give up on all hope, could it? Wasn't the mastermind's unexpected murder of Asahina all the more reason to fight on in her memory, rather than an excuse to give in to their plan?
And as for Ogami's claim that Togami would react that way if Naegi had died – that was ridiculous. Togami had a thousand reasons to keep moving forward, from his position as the heir of the Togami Corporation that he'd fought so hard to win to his own sense of self-worth, founded in hard work and a refusal to give in or settle for less than he believed he deserved. And while Naegi knew Togami had very strong feelings towards him – in the end, they'd only known each other a few weeks. If he had died, then yes, he did believe Togami would have grieved for him – but it couldn't possibly cause the spiral into despair that Ogami had implied.
Those thoughts circled around and around through Naegi's aching skull until Ogami frowned down at him, narrowing her eyes in scrutinizing concern and said, "I apologize. I should not have encouraged you to speak for so long, or on such difficult topics. I simply wished for you to understand why I will not leave you alone, even for the brief time it would take to find Togami and ask him to speak with you."
Naegi wrenched his mind away from the confusing tangle of thoughts, remembering why he'd begun the discussion in the first place. "Even if this could make a difference?"
Ogami gave him a long, sad look. "Nothing we do here will be able to make a difference. You'll be happier once you resign yourself to that reality." She shook her head. "I'm certain Togami will return to check on you again soon. Until he does, the only thing I will allow you to do is rest."
Naegi would have liked to say that if Ogami wasn't going to help him, he'd go find Togami himself – but he could tell without even trying to leave the bed that such an option wasn't in the cards. Like it or not, he was stuck here. If Ogami wouldn't leave to bring Togami back to hear his warnings, then there was nothing Naegi could do but wait, and give in to the exhaustion weighing down his body. He let his eyes drift closed, just for a moment while he tried to think about whether there was anything else he could do. But he'd been tired for such a long time... maybe Ogami was right, and rest was the only thing left for him to do.
