The soft warmth curling its way through Naegi didn't come from the blankets on the bed, or even from the way Togami's arms wrapped gently around him. No, this was something new, something internal, frothing bright and brilliant from his chest. He'd never felt anything like it, so light that if it hadn't been for his injuries he thought he might have floated right up to the ceiling.
It couldn't be right to feel like this, could it? Not when they were still trapped in Hope's Peak, in the middle of a deadly game that had destroyed so many of their friends. Not when Kirigiri had disappeared and the mastermind could be enacting some kind of terrible new plan. Did he really have the right to let all those awful things fade into the background so that this sheer happiness could bubble through him?
Or… maybe that was the wrong way to think about it. Maybe that was what the mastermind wanted – to have the despair of their game seep into every aspect of the students' consciousness until no one could remember how to be happy any longer. If he stopped letting himself feel joy, it would be as good as saying that the mastermind had stolen that emotion from him. He couldn't let them have that kind of victory. He wouldn't.
And besides, it would be unforgivably cruel to reject the affection that Togami was offering him. Naegi knew that he'd hurt the other boy, even though he'd never meant to do so. If the proud heir had decided that he was no longer willing to be so open with a person who had caused him pain, then much as Naegi would have hated it, he would have understood.
But Togami hadn't chosen to do that. He'd been caring and protective, so much more than what Naegi's injuries had made necessary. He'd held Naegi in his arms, stroked his hair, wiped away his tears… always gentle, with all the care he would use to touch a fragile treasure. And the words he'd said…
Naegi hadn't meant for his description of his dream to prompt any kind of declaration. He'd just wanted to let Togami share the fantasy that things could have been different – that there could have been a happy ending not just for the two of them, but for everyone. He knew the other boy didn't think much of ignoring reality, though, so the most he'd expected in response to his rambling about a happy long-term relationship was a tolerant smile.
And he'd gotten so much more. Naegi hadn't talked about the first heady rush of romance or a whirlwind fling based on infatuation and hormones – he'd painted a picture of two people committed to one another, letting their lives tangle together in quiet moments of happiness. He'd described a relationship meant to last. And… you already have it. That's what Togami had given him in return.
Even thinking about the words brought a small, almost disbelieving smile to Naegi's lips. Here in Hope's Peak, everything was so divorced from the real world, to the point where he hardly knew what some things meant. He'd known already that Togami cared quite a bit for him, enough to convince him to abandon his plan to win the killing game – but since he himself had never seriously considered murder, it had been difficult to figure out what that had meant. But these words… these, Naegi had understood.
And he couldn't let them pass by without letting Togami know how deeply they'd touched him. He would have liked to be able to turn and hold the other boy, to pour his joy into a kiss, to press him down to the bed… but he didn't have the strength to attempt it. He would just have to try to use words of his own to explain how very happy Togami had made him.
"Thank you," Naegi said, and he hoped his voice sounded more assured to Togami than to his own ears. "That's… what I wanted us to be. What I believed we could be. I kept hoping that you felt the same way… and it means so much to finally know you do."
"You didn't –" Togami paused for a moment, until Naegi felt the shifting muscles as the taller boy shook his head. "Well, you can stop dreaming about it. The reality is what matters."
"I guess so." Naegi hesitated as another question occurred to him. It might not be the right time to ask it… but he wasn't sure he'd get another chance. And he did want to know. "Then… does that mean you want to be my boyfriend?"
"What?" Togami sounded genuinely startled by the question.
Naegi winced, wondering if he should take it back or try to claim he'd been joking. Maybe it was too soon for a question like that, even with Togami's declaration of his feelings. It wasn't like he needed to put a label on what they shared, not now that he understood it better. And if Togami didn't want to –
"I hadn't thought about that," Togami said slowly. "I've never let anyone call me their boyfriend – and I've certainly never said it myself. But… if it's important to you, then… you can call me whatever you like."
Naegi felt a smile spread across his face, bright and beaming. No matter how reluctant Togami's actual words might have sounded, Naegi knew the other boy would never have agreed if he hadn't genuinely wanted to. Togami would have had no problem saying a simple, direct no if that was how he really felt, or ignoring the question if he'd truly been ambivalent. But he hadn't done so. He must have wanted their relationship to have a real, understandable status, just like Naegi did.
And it seemed like it made him just as happy. Togami bent down again to press his lips to Naegi's temple, and Naegi could feel the undeniable curve of a smile against his skin. He tilted his head up as much as he was able, letting the other boy's mouth brush down the line of his cheek. He couldn't quite turn far enough for more… but Togami raised a hand to steady Naegi's chin and leaned forward to close the rest of the distance between their lips.
Naegi couldn't return the kiss the way he would have liked, with all the affection and happiness and need overflowing through him – but that didn't seem to bother the other boy. Togami pressed careful, lingering kisses along Naegi's mouth, warm and encouraging, but with none of the quickly escalating heat that had marked their first kisses. There was something new in these kisses, something Naegi wanted to curl up and bask in for days, and he didn't think it could be entirely the result of his injuries.
Too soon, Togami pulled away, letting his hand drop down to curl up against Naegi's chest, moving up and down with every breath. And much as Naegi might have wished the kiss hadn't ended so quickly, he had to admit it had left him slightly out of breath. Togami frowned a little as he noticed the change.
"I should let you rest," he said, stiffening as though he was preparing to disentangle himself from Naegi. "This was… too much exertion so soon after you woke up."
"No, it wasn't," Naegi insisted. "I'm glad we talked. I'll rest much better because of it."
"Hm." Togami sounded a little more dubious, so Naegi did his best to straighten up and look as improved as he could. "Well, anything else should wait until you're feeling better – unless there's something else vital that you think I need to know immediately."
Naegi frowned, trying to think back through everything that had happened in the days since he and Togami had separated. He'd explained about Ikusaba and Kirigiri's disappearance – that was the most important thing. "I think that's all. Is there anything you want to tell me?"
Togami tensed behind Naegi, so slightly that Naegi probably wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't been wrapped in the other boy's arms. Naegi blinked, puzzled –– he hadn't actually expected there to be anything else.
"It can wait until you've recovered," Togami said at last. "I think there is a longer conversation we need to have."
Oh – so it wasn't something about Hope's Peak and the killing game. Naegi relaxed a little. He knew they still had some difficult conversations to have about their relationship –– but however hard those might be, he felt fairly confident the two of them could navigate those conversations better now. If Togami had intended to end things, he would never have made the declarations he had, or agreed to call Naegi his boyfriend. Whatever else they needed to talk about, they would be able to work through it after everything had calmed down.
"All right," Naegi said. "If you don't want to tell me now, I don't mind waiting. I'm sure there'll be a better time."
But strangely enough, Togami frowned slightly, as though he wasn't entirely happy with the easy agreement. "Naegi…"
Ding dong bing bong.
Naegi started at the unexpected sound of the nighttime bell. And as the television screens flickered to life to show Monokuma's all-too-familiar face, the dorm room doorbell rang.
Author's Note: I'm afraid I need to make a change to my usual update schedule. I'm moving at the end of June, so until then, the time I can spend on this story will be a little more limited. This week, I'll only be posting every other day - so that's today (Sunday), Tuesday, and Thursday. I'll see how that works out in terms of timing, and I'll post an update on future scheduling with the chapter on Thursday.
