Chapter 15 – To Understand
''Who the hell was that guy? How could he fucking run like that?'' InuYasha cursed as he sheathed his sword, glaring in the direction Kouga had just disappeared.
''The Lord of the Eastern Lands, I wonder how you survived for so long without knowing this.'' Miroku spoke, shaking his head as he stared at his hopeless friend.
''Who cares about the East anyway? There's only dead plants and stinky wolves there, no wonder he dresses like shit.'' InuYasha grumbled, making Kikyou sigh.
Looking at where her sister stood, the older miko couldn't help but think that maybe she had been wrong when she spoke about the daiyoukai. Kagome was currently clinging to his haori and she could see even from the distance that the younger miko was shaking, making her wonder what had really happened to her when she disappeared, the Kagome she used to know would never get so affected by what happened.
''Breathe, miko.'' Sesshoumaru spoke once he noticed that the human was still shaking in fear. ''The danger is gone.''
Sighing mentally when the only answer he got was the miko stepping closer to him and tightening her hold on his haori, Sesshoumaru wondered if his father was amused. He certainly started to pay all of his sins in the moment the two humans stepped into his life.
When he saw Kouga and his pack surrounding the miko, he thought she could handle herself, one single barrier or a simple burst of her reiki would easily free her from the youkai, but that wasn't what happened. Instead, the scent of fear clung to her skin and he could smell her despair in the air, suddenly reminding him of what had happened the last time males had surrounded her.
Her fear tainted the air and he could hear the kit and his ward crying, which led him to curse his father and every single Kami he could think of before he expanded his aura and forced the wolves into submission. He stood by her side in a heartbeat, and before he could notice, she had put the dagger on the ookami's neck exactly how he had taught her, making him think that she wasn't that hopeless at all.
Helping her had a negative side though, because right now she refused to let him go and he could smell the tears that wanted to fall from her eyes. The fact that she was still shaking annoyed him, and when he saw that not even Rin or Shippo could snap her out of her current state, he ordered them both to back away as he grabbed her shoulder.
''Miko, look at this Sesshoumaru.'' He ordered as he lightly shook her, but the only answer he got was a pitiful whimper.
''Mama?'' The kit muttered as he tried to step forward but Rin held him by his haori, shaking her head silently.
''Miko.'' Sesshoumaru spoke again and sighed when she completely ignored him. She was far too gone into her own mind and he saw himself being forced to use more extreme methods, like shaking her one more time before he held her chin.
Forcing the miko to look at him, he saw that she was barely holding herself together and his eyes softened slightly at how fragile she looked. ''Kagome,'' He said, noticing that her eyes had widened slightly when she heard her name, it was a start. ''They are gone, there is no need to worry right now.''
''I-'' The miko tried to speak, but it was like her voice had left her. There were just so many thoughts running around her mind, so many possibilities of what could go wrong. Sesshoumaru had interfered in the situation but what if he hadn't? She reacted to the danger but what if she didn't? If there was a next time, what would she do? She was still too weak, wasn't she?
She didn't want to think about what could've happened back then or what could happen in the future but her mind tortured her with those thoughts and visions and dear lord, she could almost feel their hands on her again. Whimpering slightly, she tried to focus when she saw the daiyoukai's face coming into view. Funny thing, she didn't remember turning from the ground to face him.
''You are safe,'' Sesshoumaru tried again, oblivious to the girl's dark thoughts but noticing that she was responding to him. When he saw that she wanted to protest though, he raised an eyebrow and spoke. ''Or do you not believe in this Sesshoumaru's ability to keep the ones under his protection away from the danger?''
''No!" Kagome finally spoke, regaining her voice as her eyes widened, her brain finally registering what he had just said.
''No? Are you saying that this Sesshoumaru is incapable of protecting you?'' The daiyoukai inquired, pleased that the miko was finally coming back to her normal state.
''No! Wait, I mean-'' Kagome struggled to find the right words. Her mind was still foggy with traumatizing memories and she was having a hard time to form a sentence that not only made sense but also explained what she was wanting to say.
When she looked up and saw the amused glint in his eyes, though, she huffed and pouted in response. ''Stop staring at me like that, you're being mean!"
''Indeed.'' The daiyoukai said as he let her chin go, noticing with amusement how she reacted when she finally looked at her hand and noticed she had been holding onto him.
Blushing, Kagome let go of his sleeve and mentally cursed herself for not having a better control of her body. She realized that lately, she had been embarrassing herself way too much in front of the daiyoukai.
''Mama, are you okay?'' The quiet voice of her son caught her attention and she turned away from the daiyoukai to look at him, that stood still next to Rin.
Smiling, she kneeled in front of Shippo and hugged the boy, patting his back in a reassuring way. ''Mama is alright, she was just a little surprised with what happened.''
''Kagome-chan doesn't need to be scared, Sesshoumaru-sama always keeps Rin safe!" The little girl said as she smiled and Kagome chuckled, bringing her into a hug too.
''Kagome-chan was just a bit out of shape and got surprised, I know nothing will happen while Sesshoumaru-sama is with us." The miko spoke, and she could faintly hear someone scoffing from the distance. She didn't need to think much to know that it had been InuYasha.
''Can we eat now?'' Shippo asked as he eyed his mother with hopeful eyes and she smiled, nodding.
She had been in the middle of preparing the breakfast when she felt a shard coming in her direction at an impressive speed and warned Sesshoumaru of it, who told her to stay in guard. What she didn't expect though was a whole pack of ookami youkai suddenly surrounding them and making Rin panic, which led her to run and put the girl in a safe place before returning to focus on the shikon.
Looking at the little girl now, Kagome was relieved to see that she was fine and made a mental note to ask Sesshoumaru what had happened with her once they were alone, Rin had never looked that hopeless before.
''Kagome?'' Kikyou's soft voice called her attention and she turned away from the children to face the woman.
''Yes?''
''Can I speak with you?'' The older miko asked and Kagome wondered if she was going to walk away from this conversation with yet another headache. She had had enough stress for one single day, and didn't need any more of that.
''Sure, just let me prepare the food.''
After being sickened to her stomach as she watched InuYasha's eating habits, Kagome gave up on eating her fish and decided that it was a great time to talk to Kikyou. She really couldn't understand how her sister had come to travel with him, her other companions were nice and friendly but the hanyou was nothing but harsh and impulsive, things Kikyou hated with passion from what she remembered.
The strange thing wasn't only this, Kagome had noticed how her sister would glance at him sometimes and even though she tried to tell herself she was imagining things, she couldn't deny that Kikyou had a certain lovesick expression whenever she looked at the hanyou.
''So, mind telling me how you found yourself liking someone as idiot as InuYasha?'' Kagome said once they had taken a seat next to a stream, far away enough from the group so they wouldn't try to listen to their conversation.
''He's not an idiot,'' Kikyou muttered, but once she saw the blank look Kagome had on her face, she sighed. ''Well, maybe he is but still..."
Scoffing, the blue-eyed miko spoke. ''Still? From what I remember, you hate impulsiveness and loud people, so please explain what happened.''
''It's just that he was really nice… After he tried to decapitate me twice while trying to steal the Shikon.'' The last part was nothing but a whisper and Kagome scoffed again, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
''Don't give me that look!' Kikyou defended herself, narrowing her eyes. ''The heart wants what it wants, it's not my fault that it chose a dumbass with a really sweet side!"
''I fail to see the sweet side, dear sister.'' Kagome snickered, making Kikyou pout like a little child who had been denied her favorite dessert.
''You're meaner than what I remember, it must be that toad's influence.'' Kikyou mumbled, making Kagome giggle.
Jaken, after coming down from his hiding place, had shamelessly acted as if he had been attacked by a wolf and dragged away into a ruthless fight for his life, which was simply stupid because he should have at least a scratch and a few parts of his clothes torn if this was true. Once he noticed that Kagome had rolled her eyes at him, he became defensive and started bickering with her, which led everyone else to watch the scene with amusement, it wasn't every day that you saw a small demon and a priestess arguing and screaming at each other.
The fun part of the day ended too soon though, with Sesshoumaru knocking Jaken out with a pebble and claiming that the toad's voice was giving him a headache. That led Kagome to be slightly disappointed because she still had a few good insults to throw at the annoying youkai.
''After living with Jaken for more than a week, you need to adapt yourself.'' She commented, amused. ''It's the survival of the fittest, you either become meaner than him or suffer with his comments and screams.''
''It sounds lovely,'' Kikyou grimaced before suddenly becoming quiet, making Kagome dread her next words. ''What really happened with you, my dear?''
''Too much, way too much...'' Kagome sighed, smiling sadly at her. ''But I don't want to think about the past, I just want to enjoy the present while I can.''
''I missed you,'' Kikyou muttered, making Kagome sigh. ''Are you sure you'll be fine with the daiyoukai?''
Kagome could see the tears forming in her sister's eyes and her heart clenched in pain. It had been so long since they last saw each other, so much had changed and she was hopeless to try to catch up with time. She wished Kaede had never sent her away, or that she had changed routes and went for Kikyou's village instead of going back to the shrine, so much pain would have been spared then.
Sighing, Kagome tried to stop those thoughts, and she heard Sesshoumaru's voice in the back of her mind scolding her for lamenting about what had already happened instead of focusing on the present.
''He's not that bad,'' Kagome said as she pulled Kikyou into a hug, determined to make out the most of this talk. ''Honestly, half of the rumors aren't even close to the truth. Don't let him hear that, but he's actually pretty nice.''
''Nice?'' Kikyou scoffed. ''I would say terrifying and emotionally constipated, but whatever works for you.''
Kagome couldn't help but burst out laughing once she heard this. It was an accurate description of the demon lord and she hoped they were far enough so he couldn't hear, or else she would be dead by the time she tried to explain the situation.
''That was a good one.'' Kagome giggled, watching Kikyou laugh too. ''But I really can't say he's bad when he has treated me so kindly. He may not be my friend but he tolerates my presence and believes in my word, it's much more than what I could ask of a Lord.''
''Do you trust him?'' Kikyou asked and Kagome nodded without hesitation.
''As strange as it sounds, I do.''
''Then I won't get in your way, but you have to visit me." Kikyou spoke and watched a smile bloom in her sister's face.
''Thank you so much!" Kagome squealed, tackling the older miko in a hug. ''I promise I'll always come to see you, whenever I'm free, okay?!"
''Okay, but if you take too long I'll send InuYasha to get you.'' Kikyou snickered, making Kagome cringe and suddenly pull away.
''Dear Kami, no! I don't think I'll eat for a good while after this morning, how you can deal with that every day?'' She asked, her stomach already feeling weird for remembering the scene.
Pieces of meat flying everywhere while he viciously bit the fish, as if the animal had not only offended him but his whole family and future generations too, until the inevitable happened and Kagome could only stare frozen in horror as a piece of the munched fish hit her forehead and fell into her lap, but not before another piece almost hit her cheek and she promptly gave up on trying to eat.
''You just get used to it after a while.'' Kikyou shrugged, laughing at her sister's expression. ''It wasn't even that bad, I remember that once a piece of meat flew directly into Miroku's mouth as he was going to bite his own food. The poor monk almost died from disgust, I thought he would puke because of how green his face looked like.''
Kagome became too horrified with the mental image she had of the situation to burst out laughing like Kikyou did, and this only made the other miko laugh harder.
''I still don't know how he's the brother of the Western Lord, they are scarily different.'' Kagome said after shaking her head, trying to change the subject and avoid feeling sick yet again.
''Their story is rather complicated, InuYasha still refuses to say anything about his family besides accusing his brother of being awful.'' Kikyou shrugged. ''I guess I'll just have to wait for another person to enlighten me.''
''Indeed,'' Kagome hummed. ''Now, how about you tell me what happened in the year I've been gone?''
''Only if you tell me how the life in the West is.'' Kikyou said and Kagome grinned, nodding.
For the rest of the day, both women stood next to the river, simply catching up on everything they missed while being separated from each other.
A strange sense of peace washed over them, and Kagome let herself hope that maybe, just maybe, the future that laid ahead of her was a bright and happy one.
