"We're young! Let's just enjoy this time while we can. I don't wanna think about the future, I wanna live the present."
Marco removed his glasses and rubbed his eyelids once more. The late night drawl had taken its toll on his mind, nearly forcing him to sleep right upon his keyboard.
"Three down, seven more to go." He sighed.
The computer screen stared blankly back him, only displaying the same array of command prompts and dull coloured windows that were, at this point, seared into the back of his head.
Reaching over to a memo pad on his left and a pen on his right, he crossed off another item on the checklist.
UC
"What's next..?" He mumbled to himself.
No, he stopped himself, this was too much. He had been toiling away since 6 in the evening. 3 was good. 3 was productive.
But, then again, 3 is barely less than a third of the way through. Perhaps if he could finish one more he could lighten the load for the next two days?
Yes. That was a solid plan.
Closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, Marco relaxed his mind to prepare for another hour of questionnaires and essay writing, and tabbed over to the next website in his extremely stuffed up browser.
"Alright Pennsylvania, let's see what you've got."
Just as his eyes narrowed to focus on the bright LED monitor, he was startled by his phone beginning to vibrate in pocket.
"Space Unicorn~! Soaring through the stars~! Delivering rainbows all aroun-"
His signature ringtone. Or, at least, it was.
"Hey Star, what's up?"
Years after he dropped the bizarre "ironic" act that he attempted (and failed horrendously), to appeal to his peers, he reverted his ringtone to something more classical. Well, for all his contacts excluding Star who simply found it "too cute" to change.
"Still awake, Diaz? I was kinda hoping you'd be sleeping by now…"
"And so you called me? Seems rather self-defeating."
"... Shut up."
"Just hurry up and tell me the actual reason why you called so I can get back to being busy."
"Excuse you, buster! But I'm doing you a favour here!"
"By distracting me? How is that at all a favour?"
"Well knowing you, you're probably hunched over your laptop draining hour after hour away in the dark like the anti-social nerd you are."
"... I'm hanging up."
"Wha-? No! At least hear me out Marco! I-"
*Beep*
Marco sighed. Star had once again attempted to interfere with his productivity streak. It's not that he didn't enjoy her company, it was that she didn't know where to draw the line between fun and work.
Shaking his head, he stared back at the daunting online application ahead of him.
Five minutes delayed. Five minutes he may never get back. Five minutes that could cost him possibly that last spot for admission.
Ridiculous. He was actually starting to blame his best friend for something completely ridiculous.
Of course Marco believed it was implausible that his chances of being accepted into this school would be decreased by time over merit, but this was an important matter, something he had to soldier on through, despite all else.
And if "all else" included a quick phone call, then he would soldier on through just the same.
Time passed quickly, forcing Marco into deeper and more remote thoughts. Minutes transformed into hours, what seemed like one question became ten more. The never ending process was beginning wear his sanity thin.
"OOOOKAY, I've had enough." He muttered. Even his stream of consciousness believed he was losing it.
Standing up, he yawned heavily, spotting the table clock on his desk.
12:47AM
It wasn't even that late, was it? He had stayed much up later before, be it study nights, holiday celebrations, or even… other occasions… and yet he was beyond exhausted.
Sleep? But one more question...
Tired… But so close!
What to do… what to-
"Space Unicorn~! Soaring through the stars~!"
His thoughts were interrupted by his phone's ringtone once again.
"What, Star?" It was quite difficult to mask the exasperation in his tone.
"Ladder."
His tired eyes shot wide as he rushed towards his room window. "Wait. Now?! It's late and-"
"I'm not repeating myself again, Marco. Ladder, now."
*Beep*
Sighing, Marco set down his cell and glanced out at the roof ledge overlooking the street. If Star called "Ladder" there was no arguing with her.
Removing the screen, careful as to not cause such a ruckus so late and disturb his parents, Marco climbed out the window, ensuring to slide the glass pane back into place behind him.
Next up, the Ladder itself. To his right, bolted onto the side of the roof by his own hands (and father's tools), was a wooden box containing a simple rope ladder.
The cold autumn air sent chills down his spine, causing him to shiver every once in awhile.
But the cold wasn't what occupied his mind. What could possibly have happened? It wasn't like Star to call for such measures this late at night unless there actually was an emergency.
After swinging down the rope ladder, Marco reopened his bedroom window and clambered back inside to grab the necessities. Blankets, pillows, two of his softest hoodies, a box of snacks; the standard requirements.
Quickly and efficiently, he dragged himself along with the supplies back outside only to come face to face with the blonde haired girl herself.
"Hey."
It was difficult to distinguish any other features of her at this late of night. Darkness shrouded her face and eyes, leaving only her golden-spun hair shining beneath the dim glow of the moon, its light constantly waning behind the veil of clouds in the midnight sky.
She remained unresponsive to his acknowledgment, only appearing to stare back at him for the longest of moments.
Ignoring the strangeness of her attitude, Marco handed her one of the two red hoodies and began to lay out the heaviest of the two blankets and fluff the pillows, reminding himself to close the window before the house was flooded by drafts of wind.
After it was all complete, he lay himself down on the blanket, completely silent, except for the sound of Marco's hoodie being zipped up to Star's chin.
She quickly followed suit without a word, lying down next to him, whilst staring at the clouds up above.
Breaking the silence, Marco spoke. "Anything you wanna tell me, Star?"
"I'm hungry." She replied monotonously.
Reaching over to the box of goodies on his right, Marco grabbed a bag a chips and tossed them her way.
"Anything else?"
The crackling of the foil bag paused for a moment. "Cold."
Marco grabbed the extra blanket he had brought outside and handed her the outside edge, allowing her to drag it over both of the two, shuffling beneath the warm covers until they were both comfortable.
"Is that all?"
Still looking into the sky, she drew in a deep breath.
"No."
"Then tell me what's going on."
Rolling onto her side, she turned to face him.
It was originally hard to discern beneath the moonlight, but her eyes seemed puffy now, upon closer inspection, and he couldn't shake the feeling that it was all his fault.
"Marco, why do you wanna grow up so fast?"
"Huh?"
What kind of question was that? He certainly wasn't aging faster than anyone else. In a literal sense, that is.
She continued. "I mean, there's so much life left ahead of us, it feels like you're not enjoying what we have now."
"Star, I…"
"You don't have to answer that. I know we're almost adults, I know that someday we're going to have to say some tearful goodbyes but…"
What was going on in her mind? Why the calls? Why the questions? Why now?
"... Why do you want it to happen so soon?"
"So soon…" he whispered, gathering his thoughts, "why do I… No! Star, what? Of course I don't want things to just end, but I have to prepare myself for when it does!"
She sat up, "But Marco! Don't you like our lives now? Aren't you afraid of what it's going to be like? When it's all gone?"
"Yes, I am! Everyone is!" He closed his eyes and paused. "Everyone is afraid, not just you. We just don't deal with it the same way."
Silence reigned after that statement.
Marco sat up, gaze still fixed upon the heavens. "What's this actually about, Star? Tell me for real."
"I…I-" Her voice broke.
He turned in her direction. "We're best friends. We tell each other anything and everything, remember?"
"It's about your university applications."
Confusion filled his mind at her abrupt response. How did she know he was working on them today?
"You're so busy… looking to the future… it feels like you don't wanna live here in the present… with me…" she added with a murmur.
"You don't think I wanna…"
"It's not that I believe you don't, I just wish you would slow down for a minute. All this will be gone one day, and how can you say that you won't miss it?"
Marco was speechless. Was he moving too fast? He was still young but… he was so busy thinking about postsecondary, about career paths, about the future.
"I know you don't plan on staying here. And I certainly can't stop you. Maybe there's much more out there for you than for me, and when the time comes, you'll chase those dreams. I hate thinking about that, but I want to forget all of it. Forget that you're gonna leave because I want to enjoy being with you, while you're still here."
So that was it. She knew he was leaving. Beyond all this subtlety she was trying to deal with the fact that he was slowly on his way out, ready to tackle the world without her.
And there he was, being an insensitive jerk.
A few moments passed, allowing all the thoughts and emotions to settle in their minds.
Marco felt Star lay back down. "Look, I'm sorry Marco, I shouldn't have brought you out for this-"
"No…."
Following suit, he set his head back on the pillow and turned to face his best friend.
She stared back at him, her face shielded by a shadowy cover. "What do you mean 'no'?"
"I mean don't be sorry." The words seemed to make him feel lighter at each syllable. "You were right. I have been an antisocial nerd. A blind, careless, and inconsiderate nerd."
"Don't forget rude, compulsive, high-strung…"
"OK I get it-"
"... Measures his fingernails after he cuts them, chews his food 24 times on each side, holds the handrail every time he walks up AND down stairs…" She was counting off her fingers.
Marco rolled his eyes. "Are you done?"
"Hmm." Star put a finger on her chin pretending to be deep in thought. "I'll think of something else eventually."
"Good." Marco sighed. "What I was trying to say was, I don't know how to handle the future, Star. I really don't. I… I guess all this worrying just pushed me to start preparing more. Everything needs to feel perfect because… because…"
"Because you're afraid. Just like everyone else."
Marco swallowed hard. The truth tasted pretty bad. "Yeah. Because I'm afraid, like everyone." His words somewhat echoed into the serene night, followed by complete silence.
He hadn't taken notice before, but behind the clouds, the sky looked absolutely beautiful with the generous amount of celestial bodies painting its dark canvas. The periodic buzzing and chirping of crickets filled his ears, and the occasional cool gust of wind brushed against his cheek gently.
"Hey Marco," Star began. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like… to live somewhere else?"
"Somewhere else?" The sudden change in subject puzzled Marco. "Like Wisconsin?"
Star chuckled. "No, you dimwit. I mean up there," she motioned to the sky. "Someplace… else…"
"Yeah I'm sure one day they'll colonize Mars or something… Although I can't imagine life would be too comfortable early on."
He felt the blankets shift beneath him. "Never mind." Star had rolled over in the opposite direction.
"Wait, no I'm sorry. Tell me what you were thinking."
She sighed deeply before continuing. "I mean. Wouldn't it be great if we could live somewhere different? Somewhere away from all these people… all these responsibilities. A place where we can just be us and no one would force us to be any different… or afraid…"
"I guess… But I doubt a place like that exists, Star."
"I know it doesn't, Marco, I just like to imagine that maybe in a different life, a different world, a different dimension, there's another me and another you, just happy with being us." Her voice started to trail at the end of her sentence.
"Heh, like some kind of… Fairytale dimension? Where everything is written by Disney?" Marco smiled feeling Star turn back in his direction. "Maybe in that dimension you're some magical princess who rules over a big kingdom."
"Sure, why not?" Star responded. "And maybe there you're the captain of my royal army."
"Like a bodyguard? I can't imagine you would need me to protect you… If anything you should be my bodyguard."
"Oh? Princess Marco needs my protection?"
"Har. Har."
A silent moment fell over the two before Marco finally realized they had long been off topic from what they originally had began talking about, and turned to face Star once more.
"So, you're not upset anym-"
"ZZZZ-zzzz"
Just like that, she had fallen asleep once again. Even Marco had to admit it was quite heart-warming, seeing her in a moment as peaceful as this.
"Star? You're snoring again."
"ZZZ-pbbfthh-zzzz"
Marco felt himself grin and rolled himself back, staring up at the sky again, leaving the slumbering girl alone.
Judging by the position of the moon, the time must've been well past 1 in the morning. And he was tired.
His eyes slowly shut as he dragged the blanket's corner over his shoulders, and drifted away to sleep, next to his best bestie.
Today had been good. Today he had been productive.
