I know I've said before that this fanfic will veer off in a different direction. For this specific chapter, I had to follow the game script as straight as possible, and honestly, the way I outlined this story, there was no other way around it. Because of that, this chapter was fairly time-consuming. So for those who played the game before, just bear with me for this chapter, since it will be fairly predictable.
Chapter 4
This was a rather unexpected situation that I landed myself into, and this could be potentially awful for me. Knowing that Kenny works for Cartman with Cartman's "kingdom", I'm assuming that Kenny's goal is to get the Stick of Truth as well. Fortunately, Kenny doesn't know I have the Stick in my trenchcoat, but my goal is to get to the library to find answers and get Isaac out of detention. I knew this because I've been in detention before. However, Kenny also needs to get to the library too. Therefore, I decided to just wait around a little longer after Kenny and Craig leave before I could search for answers about the stick. And if I get caught, there's little I could do because unfortunately for me, my powers are more tuned into healing injuries rather than dishing out damage or taking it, and I'm assuming Kenny and Craig will have powers too, of the Hunter and Rogue respectively. That being said, I'll have to play along with Kenny's little game for now.
"Alright, ready Cole?" Kenny asked, unsheathing his pink bow from his back.
"Yeah," I nodded.
"Douchebag?" Kenny asked. When Ray nodded yes, Kenny put his right hand on the door handle of the front school door. "Alright. Let's do this."
When we entered the school, we were immediately met by the hallway monitor. He looked like a rather stereotypical ginger kid, with pasty white skin, blood-red hair, and bright freckles. This guy had his hair parted to the side and he was no more than a year older than us. "Excuse me, but school is OUT and no students allowed on the premises until tomorrow at 7:30 am."
I looked around. All the doors in the center room were chained and locked, save the one we just went through. I honestly didn't feel like making someone mad, I'd rather just sneak around. "Come on guys, there's probably another way."
As I turned around to open the door we just came through, I the ginger kid's voice behind me. "You are in breach of school law and must be punished!"
I turned around. Having said that I turned around. He pulled his sleeves up and brought his fists out. "You jackass," I complained, "I was just gonna leave and now you want to fight us?"
Ray summoned up a water elemental, that was shaped more or less a big blob of water with two arms and bracers on each arm. Kenny notched a pink arrow on her bow. The ginger kid immediately charged at me to punch me in the face. My reaction was solid, however, and thus I immediately dropped into the form of a blonde bear. Thus, I could still feel the ginger kid smack my jaw with his fist, but it hurt me less because bears are (naturally) more resilient than humans are. I'm about as big as a baby bear since I'm only nine years old.
I smacked the kid in the face with my right paw. Kenny shot and arrow at the ginger kid, hitting the ginger in the abdomen. Ray shot forth a frostbolt which nailed the ginger kid in his right ear. The kid fell down to the ground face first. His abdomen was bleeding, claw marks could be found on his face, and ice formed out of right ear. He took out a walkie-talkie and struggled it to hold it up to his right ear. "Officer down, officer down! Send backup! I repeat, officer down! All hallway monitors to the right hallway!" Aw shit, not again.
I shifted out of bear form to heal the bruises in my face. Any damage I take in an animal form will normally correspond with damage in that general area in my human form, which is why I held my glowing green hand to my face to heal my bruises. The ginger kid then fell silent. I looked around again, and apparently the east door was never chained up at all.
"If there was one hallway monitor, then there will likely be more," Kenny warned, "we should tread carefully."
When we opened the east door we found a barricade a few yards down the hallway. It was one table on the left side and on the right side an assortment of student chairs all in a pile. In front of the table was a pile of newspapers that were apparently catching on fire. For a split second I wondered why the hallway looked like such a mess. Then I remembered - the ginger kid who we had just mutilated just a minute ago must've been referring to this as his backup. And this is actually the thing that worries me about the school. They're putting this much effort to try as hard to prevent us from ruining detention for the day - to the point where the hall monitors literally sanctioned to try to beat us up. I'm certain that we'll have to fight all the hallway monitors to get to the Library. Then again, they will be no match for the three of us.
There were two hallway monitors behind the barricade and they were the same - ginger males wielding an assortment of school supplies and toys (such as scissors, clipboards, and dodgeballs) as weapons. Is every single male ginger kid an armed hallway monitor at this school? I don't even remember seeing this many ginger kids before.
I turned back to Kenny and Ray. "So what do we do now?"
Kenny scanned his surroundings for a little bit. His gaze fell first on the sprinkler attached to the ceiling that was positioned directly above the two ginger kids. "I think I know how to deal with this. See the sprinkler above the gingers, Douchebag?" Ray nodded in response and Kenny continued. "Throw something at the sprinkler. A frostbolt, ice lance, anything. Or even a baseball if you have to." Ray threw out an Ice Lace at the sprinkler head and it instantly shattered, recycled water drizzling on the ginger kids, forming a puddle underneath.
"Ah, fuck you," one of the gingers said.
Kenny's eyes gazes slightly left to the large speaker phone located above a locker perpendicular to the flipped over table. "Throw an Ice Lance onto the wiring on that speakerphone." Ray did as told, and predictably, the wiring that held the speaker phone shattered, the speaker falling ontop of a locker, onto the edge of the table, and into the puddle. What happened next was a bright burst of light, then then smell of burnt toast that overtook the ginger kids as they lied in the puddle face up towards the ceiling.
I have to admit, Kenny is pretty observant. Probably the perks of being a hunter, although I'm not sure, I don't know Kenny real well. "Alright, see the flames?" Kenny pointed at the burning paper pile placed conveniently in front of the table. "Use your Dragonshout on the flames to blast the table apart."
Dragonshout? What the fuck is a "Dragonshout"? Is he referring to the Dragonshouts from Skyrim? With that in mind, I saw Ray walk up to the fire. He turned around so his back was facing the fire and he was facing us. He clenched his fists, closed his eyes, and looked like his abdomen was shaking. Then he bent down and a large fart came from his ass, and suddenly the fire dispersed onto the table in a breath of fire, instantly obliterating the left half.
I had my mouth open the whole time. "What the fuck."
As we walked around the table and the ginger kids, Kenny said, "Cole, take notes. Douchebag is the epitome of a real hero here." He let out a girly sigh.
I groaned. What the fuck is wrong with Kenny? "His name is Ray! And you're not a hunter or an anime princess, you're a nine...ten year old school kid like him and I!"
"Then you're not a druid," Kenny retorted.
Well, he had a point. I shouldn't even be having druid powers either. I scoffed. Best universal rule to arguing: when losing an argument, always change the subject. "And farting? Like who does that?" I rolled my eyes. "I mean it's fucking gross, but since it's that powerful, might as well fart on all your enemies all day, like on their balls or something-"
I felt a sudden slap to my left cheek. My head jerked right. and I turned to see that Kenny slapped me. I was furious. What gave him the incentive to slap me? I was about to talk him down, but he started before could. "NEVER FART ON A MAN'S BALLS!"
"Well, you didn't have to slap me!" I shouted back. He really didn't need to slap me.
But Kenny kept on talking, making no apology. "I have to! It is a code of honor, everyone knows this! To fart on a man's balls is a symbolic offense to the male genitalia, and is dishonorable! You will do well to remember that, mmkay?"
I rolled my eyes again. Since when did Kenny start talking like Mr. Mackey? "Fine, whatever gets you to shut up."
The three of us rounded a left-turn corner into another hallway, this one just as long. At the far end would be another left-turn corner. Halfway down the hall is are double-doors with a sign up above that said "Cafeteria".
"So this is where you guys eat lunch?" Ray asked. "I'm kinda wanting to take some food."
"The food is probably all gone by now," I replied, "probably because of fatass Eric Cartman."
As we walked near the cafeteria doors, I could hear Mr. Mackey shout from behind the doors. "You're not going through this door. Mkay." Hearing that struck me dumbfounded. Detention was generally held in the library. Why is it held in the cafeteria this time?
"Kenny," I said, "isn't detention always in the Library?"
"That's what I thought too," he replied, "I guess today is an exception? I'm not sure."
Mr. Mackey kept talking. "You might as well give up because I have hidden the key somewhere and you'll never find it in my office. Aw, dammit... mkay." Well, that says it all. To get into the Cafeteria to break out Craig and Isaac we had to get the key, but to do that we need to go into Mr. Mackey's office.
"To the councelor's office?" I asked.
"Swiftly," Kenny replied.
Luckily Mr. Mackey's office was nearby. So we around the corner, into the next hall. The first door on the right was his office, but unfortunately, that had a lock on the door. Up ahead was another ginger kid. This one had a wooden clipboard as a shield and wielded large scissors like a sword. The kid immediately rushes forth to Kenny to slash his arm with his scissors. "This is a restricted hallway!"
Kenny coughed. "Ew, gross! I could feel the ginger on me!" I immediately casted Rejuvenation, a healing-over-time spell, on Kenny. "Thanks, Cole!"
"I can't dispel diseases!" I complained. Druids don't have that power.
"It's alright, man!" Kenny lined up an arcane arrow on his bow and released it, the magic arrow nailing the kid in the leg. "You're up, Douchebag!"
"On it!" Ray closed his eyes to concentrate, then icy comets appeared out of nowhere above the ginger kid, falling down on him. The kid should be able to feel the chill, as serrated shards of ice cut apart his body. But he was still standing, that resilient bastard.
"Finish him, Cole!" Kenny yelled. I stanced myself to charge up Wrath, a bolt of solar energy which when I released it, cauterized the ginger kid's skin when it came into contact. He lied down and started crying.
Honestly, I felt bad using my powers to hurt ginger kids. Then again, they are against us, and I'm not sure how many ginger kids there even are or where they all came from. We rounded another left-turn corner, and up ahead was a sheet-metal fence that blocked us off from rounding another corner. Behind me I could hear a voice, which came from a "FACULTY ONLY" door. "Search him!" This was probably another ginger kid hallway monitor.
"No...NO! Get away from me you freaks!" I'm not sure what poor kid got himself into this mess, but it's probably no good at all.
"We gotta help him!" I tried to open the door but there was a lock on it.
"We need the brass key first," Kenny explained.
"Damnit. We need a key to get a key, to get another key, to get to the Cafeteria?" I stomped my right foot on the ground angrily. "What the hell is this, is this real life or are we secretly in a Skyrim-slash-World-of-Warcraft-slash-Japanese-RPG mixup?"
Before Kenny or Ray could reply, there was another voice, this one coming from behind the fence. "The protector of the brass key will never surrender!" Two ginger kids were behind the fence, one of them holding up what looked like a giant brass key (predictably). The kid with the key ran around the corner. The kid not carrying the key was instead holding a music stand like a polearm standing there.
"Now what?" I complained.
Ray rubbed his chin for a moment, faced his water elemental, then turned to Kenny. "Kenny, what if you used your maidenly charms?"
I began to laugh. Kenny is not a girl. "'Maidenly charms'? Wow, holy shit, that's a good one! Hahahahaha!" I was laughing, and Kenny just glared at me.
"Watch and learn you cuntwagon."
I know Kenny's sexist insult was directed at me, but whatever, and there I saw Kenny walk over to the fence. He must have put his hands on his chest. I could hear some of his clothes rustle. And the next thing I knew, the ginger kid drops his musical stand and goes over to the right side of the fence. "Oh wow! Boobies..." Then it hit me on the head. Kenny. Showed his chest, and the ginger kid took it as actual female boobs.
What the fuck.
So the idiots actually slides open the fence so that the frames fold on themselves. Then he sticks his arms out to try to grab Kenny's chest (presumably his "boobs"). "Must have...must touch...boooobies..." I hear more rustling from Kenny's clothes, then Kenny smacks the ginger kid in the face. The kid lies face down on the ground.
"See what I mean, Cole?" Kenny blows me a kiss, probably to mock me.
I narrowed my eyes at Kenny. "I hate you all. That is all."
Around the corner, three more ginger kids were waiting for us. The kid with the brass key had a lunch tray as a shield and used the key like a sword. Another kid wielded a music stand like a polearm. The third had a dodgeball. "So what now?" Ray asked.
"I've done PvP before," I said, "and this is what we do. Ray, you polymorph one person. I'll cyclone the other. Kenny will pick off the third. Each time they escape their crowd control, we alternate, so I'll cyclone your previous target, you polymorph mine. That way we get the most effectiveness."
And we did just that. Ray polymorphed the kid with the key. I cycloned the kid with the musical stand. Then Ray, his water elemental, and Kenny began to fire arrows and frostbolts at the dodgeball kid. The kid threw his dodgeball at my face. It hurt quite a bit, but I was able to heal myself out of the damage. After that kid was taken care of, I cycloned the key kid, while the polearm kid dropped down from his cyclone. Once again, we slung frostbolts, arrows, and sun bolts at the stand kid, and he dropped before he reached us. Then we walked over to the kid with the key, who fell from his cyclone.
"Key, kid." Ray stuck out his palm, expecting the key. When the ginger kid obeyed and gave over the key, Ray punched him in the face, and the kid fell to the floor. "That was pretty genius, Cole! Can we do it again?"
"Ray, we have a whole lot of control to irritate these ginger kids on," I smiled.
The kid who had the key reached over for his radio. "More officers down! We're taking heavy casualties out here!" Pause for two seconds. "He's got the brass key! He's some kind of Dragonborn!" Then the kid passed out.
Kenny nodded to us. "Come on guys, to the faculty room!"
When we got inside the faculty room, we found ourselves situated in the back left corner of the room. There is a wooden table in the room whose length ran perpendicular to the wall closest to us. A pile of black chairs followed the length to our wall as well. At our side of those black chairs were convincingly placed fireworks inside a cardboard box. They were likely confiscated from Cartman or Stan. A bookcase ran one width of the table to the wall left of us such that it is parallel to our wall, and another table the other, also parallel to our wall.
Behind the black chair wall was two ginger kids, one with a musical stand and another with a broom. Behind the bookcase and to the back wall were two more ginger kids, one with scissors, and another unarmed. In the far left corner was a brown haired kid sitting in the corner. He had arrows stuck inside him. His face was bruised and he was crying.
The sight touched my heart, and I almost gave a little tear too. He was probably the kid crying earlier, but also it was pretty disheartening to see that even "hallway monitors" were imposing their power to abuse and boss around kids. I don't know what the kid's story is, but I'm fairly certain a defenseless kid like him did not deserve to have arrows stuck inside his body. That's just wrong.
"There's lit cigarettes on the table." I turned to Kenny and he pointed at the pile of cigarettes conveniently on the edge of the table as close to the fireworks as possible.
"Wow, somehow there's always convenient stupidity for us 'heroes' to take advantage of, just like a video game," I snickered.
"Funny, right?" Kenny chuckled for a bit. "Douchebag, do your thing." As expected, Ray fired an Ice Lance onto the cigarettes. It fell off and into the fireworks box. Flame overtook the fireworks. That being said, three rockets lit up and flew out of the box flying all around the room. One exploded on the table next to the ginger kid with the musical stand. Another hit the ceiling. The third went in direct contact with the unarmed ginger kid in the back. Ouch. "Nice. You know what to do next." Ray let loose another large "Dragonshout" and thus another cone of flame blew down the black chairs and burnt the two ginger kids to the point where they got knocked out.
"Pretty good," Ray said.
We went up to the table that took the blow of a rocket. I smashed it into pieces with my staff. Then we went around the large table and to the crying kid. There was one ginger kid still left alive, but Ray's water elemental froze it in place. Then Ray summoned up another comet storm to shatter the ginger kid. After that was done, we all sighed in relief. "Well that's that," Ray said.
I nodded. I walked over to the crying kid. "Hey, are you aright?" I placed my right hand on the kid's back. My hand glowed green with nature's power. "I'm not sure how you got here, but you're safe now."
The kid stood up and smiled, handing over a silver key to me. "Thanks, I thought I was a goner! There were too many of them. They were too strong, their hair too red...Maybe you can take this silver key and find the gold key. You can succeed where I have failed! Free Mackey's prisoners!" The kid then walked off.
We went out of the faculty room to go back the way we came from and towards Mackey's office. I placed the key inside the lock and twisted, and indeed the silver key worked. We went inside and Mackey's office was the same as usual.
"The key is somewhere," Kenny said.
On the far back wall was a wooden board nailed perpendicular to the wall high above. On the far left of the board was a golden key on a black pedestal. "I see the key," I said, "but we can't reach it for here."
"Douchebag, get on it," Kenny said.
Ray fired another ice lance at the key and it fell down into my hands. "Nice," Kenny said, "now lets get out of here and head on over to the cafeteria."
The three of us did just that. We went out the office, rounded a corner right, and found the cafeteria door. I took out the gold key to unlock the cafeteria door, but a voice rang out from behind me. "That's far enough, intruders!" I turned around, putting the golden key back into my pocket. It was another ginger kid, but this one looking more edgy. He's likely in the 6th grade, and he's got a black T-shirt, black shorts, and what looks like brown wooden plates all around him. Aw shit, not again. "Where's your hall pass?" I didn't know what to say, this is getting more and more silly by the minute. I peered to Kenny and to Ray and his water elemental, and they said nothing. "No hall pass? Then it's time to write you a referral." Now the fucking ginger pulls out a metal bar with a chain on one end. At the end of that chain is a basketball, it's like a flail with a mace-head. The ginger swung it around, and the basketball end hit the floor.
I could hear Mackey's voice behind me from behind the cafeteria doors. "Oh, yeah, that's the boss. Good luck fighting the boss, mkay. You still think this is a game, young man?" Game or not, Mackey is intending to kill us and whatever respect I had for him previously is now lost. What a jackass.
The ginger kid pulls out his walkie talkie and spoke, "Deadly force is authorized." Two more smaller ginger kids came in, one with a music stand and another with a dodgeball.
"R-Ray, you k-know the plan right?" My voice quavered. We were outmatched, and we had to play this smartly if we were to win.
"Cross crowd control with polymorph and cyclone?" Ray answered.
"Yep, I'll start on the dodgeball kid, then we switch off." I began to cast cyclone. From the corner of my right eye I could see the big ginger charge at me, and I almost screamed, but the next thing I knew he found himself encased in a frozen block of ice. Therefore, dodgeball kid got cycloned, musical stand kid got polymorphed. "Nice freezing trap, Kenny, let's take him down now."
Kenny started off with an aimed shot to the big ginger's face. A critical hit, I'd say. But big ginger smacked Kenny with the flail, and Kenny flies back down the hall. "Kenny!" I began to stack two rejuvenations to get him up. Meanwhile, Ray's water elemental froze the big ginger in place. "Let's go for more control!"
Ray began to target the cycloned kid while I began to cyclone the sheep. But I got smacked in the back of the head, presumably by the big ginger. I staggered forth, realizing the fucker interrupted my cyclone cast. What happened next was that the sheep was no longer a sheep, but the ginger kid with the musical stand. "Oh shit!" I said. I dropped into bear form immediately as both the polearm kid and the big ginger began to attack me. "Guys, I need help!" I screamed. The damage was less due to me being in bear form, but it was still fairly substantial. If I don't get help within a few seconds I could wind up dead, and you never want your healer dead.
Ray and his elemental shot exchanged projectiles with the dodgeball kid, but Ray overwhelmed the dodgeball kid, and he fell down. Kenny threw an ice trap below me, and the big ginger triggered it, and both him and the polearm kid got slowed down. I came out of bear form to heal myself up while still running from my enemies.
Kenny landed a Kill Shot onto the polearm kid, and it pierced his heart, and he went down. It was just the big ginger. I dropped into cat form to charge at the big ginger and clawed at his chest. The big ginger began to bleed out, but he grabbed my throat, and threw me onto the floor behind himself, and I went out of cat form. As the ginger kid began to swing his flail down on me, I could see a blast of ice shattering the back of the ginger's head, and he staggered, then tripped on me. "To us, Cole!" I could hear Ray's voice. I rolled right to my allies, and as I stood up, I saw that the big ginger was being ripped apart by a Comet Storm. The ginger kid fell on his knees, then face down on the ground.
It was over. I placed a Wild Mushroom on the ground in front myself, and Ray and Kenny stepped near it. The mushroom radiated nature's power, healing us. "That was a good fight, Douchebag," Kenny said. "Cole, I was wrong about you, you'd make a valuable healer in Cartman's army. Unlike most healers I've seen, you got nerves of steel."
Pretty nice compliment, yeah. "Uh, thanks. You're a pretty good shot, Kenny. And Ray too."
Maybe I should tell Kenny I still have the stick. I felt my heart and I could still feel the stick in me. But what if Kenny doesn't approve of me having the stick? And how will I explain to Kenny and Ray how I'm planning to head over to the library? It was too much.
"Still got the key?" Kenny asked. I pulled out the golden key from my pants pocket. "Nice. Alright. Let's do this." I turned to the cafeteria door and unlocked it, then opened the door, and the three of us piled in.
Cole's reaction to the getting the keys definitely portrayed my thoughts when playing Stick of Truth. I thought it was funny that you had to get so many keys, it felt akin to the old JRPGs where you had to go through many artifacts to finally get to the boss.
For those waiting for the Stendy, it will be soon.
