So as a heads up, this chapter is about PETA. This is not to imply that I have something against PETA (apologies if I do offend someone), but this is a mere depiction of what Trey & Matt might have done (although that probably isn't true either because my depiction is probably much darker than theirs). So yeah, apologies in advance.
That being said, blood and gore in this chapter. Be ready.
Chapter 18
We ended up on the main road that ran north out of North Park by 7:30 pm. When I looked back at North Park, I could no longer see nor hear the explosions and destruction that I would have predicted to see, only I could hear dead silence. We didn't have any sort of transportation so we just walked north along the road. We ate dinner while the five of us hiked, and dinner itself wasn't very spectacular. It more-or-less equated to two Cliff bars, two small bags of trail mix that consisted of peanuts, cashews, raisins, and M&M's, and some water. It was oddly fulfilling, but it wasn't fancy, it was barely enough for us to last until next morning. Apparently, Stan and Wendy found food in Jimbo's Guns last evening that wouldn't perish, and while the food I ate wasn't all that great, it was the best given our situation, so props to those two, I guess. The air around us stayed at a constant sixty degrees, and the snow was slushy due to it melting away from the cool May winds.
After about five minutes of walking, we reached a billboard on the right side of the road. On the billboard were five sheets of paper lined up next to each other. I wouldn't have bothered, but Stan walked up to them. "Hey guys, come look, check it out."
We walked over to the billboard. On the sheets of paper were pictures of the each of us. Stanley Marsh, Wendy Testaburger, Raymond Irvington, Cole Dimmons, and Isaac Dimmons were the people mentioned. "Wanted dead or alive?" Isaac's voice was nervous and full of fear. "Why? Oh God!"
"Wendy Testaburger wanted Dead or Alive for treason, insurrection, terrorism, and conspiracy against the U.S. Government?" Wendy leaned in closer to the paper that mentioned her, her voice leaning towards full-blown panic. "No! That can't be right! I'm not a criminal! What did I ever do?" I read the paper with my name and it had those exact same crimes labeled underneath. I can't believe it. Wanted Dead or Alive? I mean I know we did some bad stuff today, but I didn't think the U.S. Government wants us dead. Five little kids wanted dead by the government, and what for? Is it because of Ray? Maybe the death-bounty and the fact our parents are missing could be possibly connected to each other. And why are they so concerned with snuffing us out when there's zombies in our wake?
"That's also what mine says!" Stan's voice was also leaning towards panic.
"Mine says all of those, but also I myself am a dangerous weapon of mass destruction." Ray's gaze at us was full of of bewilderment. "It doesn't say that on you guy's."
"Maybe it's your farts," Isaac suggested.
"Or maybe it's the power of friendship," Stan added. As silly as Stan's comment sounded, he could very well be right. Terrorblade and Harbinger both did mention that the power of Dovahkiin belies in the power of friendship. While it seems that one way to get a high friendship power is through making as many friends on facebook as possible (according to Terrorblade), another way could be through strengthening of a few friendships to make then more meaningful in the long-run (as what Harbinger suggested). Apparently, the "friendship power" seems to be additive, like a sum. Similar to adding volumes of liquids together.
But how am I going to make a meaningful friendship with this group? I mean I feel like I'm slowly drifting apart from Ray, I've already drifted apart from Isaac, and don't even get me started on Stan and Wendy. Which then leads me to the questions I asked myself earlier today. Should I just apologize to my friends and ask them to take me back? Tell them that I was being a selfish jerk? Should I admit I was wrong? Ask for everyone's forgiveness? But what if they don't believe me, what if they think I'm trying to feign regret to try to gain their sympathy? Then that means I should be a jerk to Wendy and Stan, right? But that won't get me anywhere, that will only make things worse for us.
"I can't even look at this any more." I agree with Isaac, neither can I. I turned away. All of this made me want to vomit. The U.S. Government contemplating on removing five regular 4th graders from existence? What is wrong with them?
"How can they label us as terrorists when we haven't done anything?" Wendy's tone was full of confusion and fear. She snuggled close to Stan, and Stan wrapped his left arm around her.
"We'll be fine, Wendy, I promise." Stan gulped as he looked back at the billboard in terror. "We protested the government before, maybe they'll listen this time. I hope."
For the next half hour or so, the five of us walked in silence. As we walked north along the road, the open ice fiends soon traversed into a dark, overgrown, snowed-out forest with crooked pine trees. The temperature stayed the same, but the darkness of night encroached in the sky, and the moon was coming out again, this time fuller than ever. The silver moonlight bled through the trees and onto the snow, giving off beautiful outlines and reflections of light that illuminated the road for us, making it unnecessary to light any lantern or flashlight. The five of us could slip through the shadows and no one would see us coming.
Eventually what caught our eyes were florescent lights that came from the left of the main road connected by an ice road no longer than two-hundred yards that made a small fork joining the road. "What is that?" Stan asked. The five of us slowly crept closer to the lights and I could make out a wall of scrap metal. The icy road we went on led into a garage door adjacent to two towers which were held up by the scrap metal walls. There were two sentry posts with spotlights on the towers. Above the garage door was a sign that said "PETA". Interesting. As far as I know, PETA stand for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. As far as I'm concerned, they one time tried to get our elementary school to change the mascot from Cows to another non-animal. "Oh no. Fuck no. Not them."
"What about them?" Wendy turned to face Stan with an inquiring look in her eyes.
"They're all freaks!" Stan shuddered and cringed. "Those people are so into animals they have sex with them. They cross-breed with animals. It's gross and disgusting. They care about the ethical treatment of animals, but not humans, and it's wrong, and I know this because I was a member of PETA. Wendy, remember that time where we had to choose whether we wanted a Douche or Turd for the school mascot, and I refused to vote so I got kicked out of town?"
"Oh my gosh." Wendy held her hands to her mouth as she began to giggle. "It was so cute seeing you refuse to vote all the time between the two."
"Wendy!" Stan was shocked at Wendy's statement, and it only caused her to giggle more. "This is serious!"
"So do we go in?" Ray looked back at us with a confused look. He rubbed his hands together, probably to warm them up.
"Fuck that!" Stan made a disapproving motion with his right hand. "Nuh uh! I want nothing to do with those freaks!"
"Didn't the Crab Leader-" Isaac started to say.
I've enough of this. It's not like PETA are cannibals or something. I'm sick of Stan judging something, and even though he might have experienced PETA, he probably doesn't understand. I also don't trust his experiences, he's probably biased in some way or another. I exhaled, preparing to say my part. "I, quite frankly, am sick of walking around in the dark like this. I'm cold, I'm tired, and I just want to rest. I'm going in."
"Cole, trust me, you don't want to go in there." Stan held his hand out as if signalling me to stop.
"I think I trust Stan's judgement on this one." Wendy blew out fog out of her breath. "Besides, the rest of us hasn't had any experience with PETA."
"I doubt so," I remarked. "I'm not going to stay here and argue. I doubt you really know, you'd probably just make one judgement and turn them down, like what you'd always do."
"But the Crab Leader-" Isaac tried to say again.
"Cole, why are you always have to try to attack me?" Stan glared at me with angry blue eyes. "What have I ever done to you?"
Is Stan serious right now? Did he really ask that question when he should have known full well what he said to me back in Harry Potter's basement? I narrowed my eyes at Stan as I got into his face. "'What have I ever done to you?' Is this a joke? You've been talking shit to me all day, Stan! What do you mean you haven't done anything to me?"
"There's a reason for this, and I don't need to remind you," Wendy interjected.
I am so sick of all this arguing. I've done non-stop arguing with my "friends" for the entire day, and I couldn't take it anymore. I think I'm going crazy, hell, I might actually be crazy. Maybe Stan is right, but I'm sick of wandering around in darkness, I'm sick of all the hitchhiking, stealing, and other crap we had to do today. And I was especially sick of those damn Harry Potter kids. "I'm going to see what's inside. Don't try to stop me."
"Fine!" Stan threw out his arms in emotional rage. "Get yourself killed! See if I care?!"
I promptly flipped Stan the bird and turned around to walk towards the scrap-metal fortress. Whatever, I'll show him. Making sure my staff and backpack were still on my person, I wearily walked forward. The spotlights haven't spotted me out yet, and as I looked closer at the sentry towers, it seems that no one was even manning them. On the walls were fully-armed machinegun turrets. Odd. Why would an organization dedicated to saving animals have automatic weaponry on them? "Wow, good job guys, we lost our healer." Ray's snarky voice echoed from the distance behind myself.
"Ray you just stood there," Wendy remarked.
"But the Crab Leader-" that was the last I could hear from Isaac, and the rest of the gang for that matter.
As I crept closer to the garage door, I noticed an alien antennae signal sticking out from the PETA sign. Well that sucks, I don't have an anal probe. If I did, I could teleport up and sneak in. Well, I guess the only way in is through the front door. What was Isaac even trying to say anyways? It sucks that Stan and Wendy keep cutting him off because Isaac seemed panicked back there. But there's no turning back now. I walked up to the garage door and exhaled heavily as I knocked three times.
No response.
I knocked three more times, this time less of a delay between each knock. No more than ten seconds later did the garage door open - slowly. The opening door revealed the area withing the walls to be fully illuminated by the florescent lights that caught my eye earlier. Multiple men and women wore regular pants, such as jeans, and white shirts with the word "PETA" in black letters within a cyan bubble. Off to the sides were other smaller buildings also made out of scrap metal, with various animals. There were animal feces littered everywhere. Everyone's attention was turned towards me.
One woman with blonde hair stood directly in front of me, eyeing me down. "Hello little boy. Have you come to join the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals?"
What can I say? I obviously can't join PETA right now, I don't have the time. "Um, no. I'm looking for help...supplies...a place to stay, I guess." The rest of the PETA people started to furiously whispered with each other. Weird, why is it that me asking for help would suddenly elicit such a poignant response from everyone?
"And are those other four kids with you?" The woman pointed in my direction, and I followed her gaze onto Ray, Isaac, Stan, and Wendy. They all had their mouths open, eyeing me in silent terror. That hit my heart. What could those four have possibly seen that I haven't? But whatever. I'm not going to let that let me down.
"Nah, fuck them," I responded.
The woman shrugged. Then an older man nearing sixty-years-old came up to the woman. "Don't worry. I'll handle it from here. Close the gate." As the woman did as told, the older man motioned me to follow. "Come."
I scanned my surroundings. Off to the sides the people were snuggling up with the animals in various ways besides regular petting. As I took a closer look, some of the animals seem to be horribly disfigured and mutated. There was a baby duck-human hybrid inside a baby carriage that tried to reach out to me. It shouted, "Kill me," in a raspy voice. Maybe Stan is right. Maybe PETA is full of freaks, but they can't be all that bad, right? Maybe I'm being too judgmental.
"So kid, what's your name, and how did you end up all the way out here?" The old man asked.
"I'm Cole, and I was just heading north." I tried to be as polite as possible, but it's hard when people are living in a dump like this. Maybe I'm being petty.
The old man raised an eyebrow at me. "Alone? What about those other kids you were with?"
"Oh them, I was friends with them..." Thinking about the people I traveled with didn't make me feel right. "Well, not anymore."
The old man shrugged. "Oh, that's a shame. We could have really used them." Those were very interesting choice of words. Considering I originally only wanted PETA's help, not to join PETA themselves, what would prompt the old man to say such a thing?
"Why are you guys armed to the teeth?" I asked.
"When the Nazi Zombie plague came, we had to ready ourselves," the old man replied, "we have to put the animals first, make sure they survive the outbreak."
"Oh, right, that makes sense."
Avoiding to step on the feces littered all over the place, the old man I was following stopped in front of a big green tent that was off to the back left. "You will wait inside this tent while we make preparations." What? Preparations? What is he talking about?
"Preparations for what?" This is intruding. I know the Crab People said something about PETA earlier, I just can't remember what. Now I wish I paid closer attention.
"This place will be your home." Those were the last words the old man told me before he shoved me through the tent flaps inside. To most people, those words would be of comfort and welcoming. But in this context and in his tone, he made those words sound like nothing more than a thinly veiled threat, thrown out loudly from a devilish smile that spread across his face - the last thing I saw from the old man before the tent flaps closed on me.
I looked around. It was dark inside the tent. I couldn't see a thing, and I didn't want them to know about my powers. I swung my backpack to my front and held it there. I reached into the small pocket of my backpack to see if Stan or Wendy packed a flashlight or something. Then I felt it. A metal rod with a rubber button. I took out the small flashlight and zipped up my backpack and wore it on me again. With my flashlight in my hand, I turned it on and shone it down the direction I faced when I was shoved into the tent.
What was then revealed to me next is what scared the living shit out of me. I jumped. I almost screamed. I was horrified at the sight. There tied to a wooden post was the body of a single girl no older than I was. Her skin was torn up and mutilated. Her wizardry robes were tattered and stained with blood and tears, signifying that she probably came from North Park. Her body was severely battered with many broken bones, especially the extremities. Her light-brown hair was chewed up, and there was a large open wound in her stomach that continually spilled blood and revealed part of her kidneys.
Her next movement made me jump again. Her head rose and her deathly gaze met my own, her green eyes almost lifeless and zombie-like. For a second, I thought she would be a Nazi Zombie until she spoke her words to me. "What...are you doing here?"
My eyes immediately opened. There's no way she can still be living through all that damage that seemed to incur on her. "You're...alive!" Those words left my mouth in awe. I couldn't believe it. It was horrifying, but at the same time surreal.
"You-you...have to...leave here...this place...it's a trap." The girl struggled to make out her sentences.
"Wait, tell me what's going on," I said.
"PETA is cannibals...they'll eat anyone who won't join their cause...but they will save animals...an elderly man...and his three-year-old grandson...were here...when I got here...they were the PETA member's afternoon snacks..." Oh my God. The girl's words definitely reminded me of what the Crab Leader told me earlier today. I thought those were stupid rumors. But those rumors hold merit. And Stan didn't even warn me that PETA were cannibals, but that was likely because Stan didn't know it at the time...or maybe Stan joined PETA temporarily. "I tried to fight them with wizardly magic...there were too many...they disarmed me...snapped my wand in half."
"How did you end up here?" I asked.
"Me and some other people...when the...Nazi Zombies...when they came to North...North Park...we ran...here." The girl coughed up and spat out blood, which landed in front of my feet. I inched back slightly. "They wanted to go further, but...I didn't like the people I was with..." Something tells me that the next words the girl is going to say will be an important life lesson for me, so I stood straight and listened intently. "We hated each other...when they offered to help me...I told them to fuck off...I came all the way here...I thought PETA would shelter me...from the Nazi Zombie chaos...but I'm wrong."
"So you refused to get along with your peers and that's how you ended up here?" I asked.
"Yes," the girl replied. I was dumbfounded, but I couldn't say anything since she went on. "I know it sounds stupid...but had I gotten along...with my group...I wouldn't have been in this mess."
It sounded exactly like the shitpickle I'm in. And thus, I said my thoughts out loud. "I'm sorry. I mean, I kinda got here the same way you did. I didn't get along with my group of...friends. I was being stubborn, I should have seen the signs. And well...I regret every mean word I've said about and against them." I shook my head. "If I ever make it out of this somehow...I'll change my ways. I won't be an asshole to my friends, I'll listen to them, I'll treat my group with kindness and respect." I exhaled again.
"Have you ever been ostracized by your peers?" the girl asked. When I nodded yes, she continued. "I was...I held a grudge against many of my peers...have you?" When I nodded again, so did she. "It's not easy...it's not easy to be cheerful and bright...when there is so much darkness that happens to you...but stay strong."
"I think you might be right," I replied. "I feel the same way."
"You're not from here," the girl remarked. "You're...you don't look like wizard."
"I'm from South Park," I replied.
"Oh...that place..." the girl coughed out blood again. "It's a petite town. Humble...and quiet."
Her statement made me chuckle. "South Park isn't that quiet."
"Compared to North Park? You'd...you'd be surprised." The girl looked up at me again. "What is your name?"
"Cole Dimmons," I replied.
"I'm Natasha Emerson," the girl replied. The girl groaned loudly. "My time...is up...get out of here while you can...Cole."
"No." I shook my head. I can heal her. "I can heal you." My left hand, the one not holding the flashlight, began to glow green. I placed my hand on her stomach to try to heal her, but of to no avail. The damage was too much. She was mortally wounded and even a magical healer like myself can't fix this.
"It's too late for me." As she gazed at me, tears flowed down her eyes as she muttered her next words weakly. "Bless me...for I have sinned." Then her face went pale and all life and emotion flowed out of her. Tears ceased to drip from her eyes. Her eyes then closed and her head limped downward with lifelessness. The open wound in her stomach no longer bled.
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She never smiled the entire time, and I couldn't have it. "No. You can't - you can't die. Not like this." I shifted my flashlight to my left hand and reached out with my right hand to the right of her neck to try to feel a pulse. Nothing. No blood was pumping through her veins. "No!" I let Natasha go, stepped back and began crying and sobbing. I couldn't believe it. An innocent kid torn apart like this to an organization that is supposed to be for the ethical treatment of animals.
Animals, not humans. It seems like they didn't give any regard for humans. "Those people are so into animals they have sex with them. They cross-breed with animals. It's gross and disgusting. They care about the ethical treatment of animals, but not humans, and it's wrong, and I know this because I was a member of PETA." I should have listened to Stan. I should have gotten over my grudge with him and Wendy, but I didn't. I'm a fool. And now my execution sentence awaits because of it. A sense of fear, dread, regret, and sadness was instilled in my heart. Yeah, I know friends don't always get along all the time, but I did treat them like shit.
The sound of a tent flap opening immediately caused me to cease crying and turn around. While doing so, I quickly turned off my flashlight and shoved it inside my trenchcoat. There stood in the doorway was the old man armed with two machetes - one in each hand, each dripping with blood and blood clots. "You and the girl will make a nice dinner feast." The old man's voice was in it's worst form - a demonic, satanic voice that pierced the musty air like an arrow.
The man made his first move. Charging and screaming, he tried to thrust his right knife into me, but I wouldn't have it. The attack missed since I jumped to the right. I immediately popped into bear form and swiped with my left paw at the man's left side to mangle him. "Get away from me!"
"A druid, eh?" The man wiped the dust off himself as his left side began to bleed from the claw marks I made. "Such mockery of nature. I'll make sure nature teaches you respect." The man raised both his knives and tried to make a downwards slash.
Only I dropped back to human form and jumped to my left. The man lost balance and staggered, almost falling. I unsheathed my staff to make an uppercut, smacking him in the face. "You disgusting jackass." I kicked the man with my right foot out the tent, causing him to drop his machetes in the process. I ignored his weapons and proceeded to try to leave as well.
Only problem is that my actions seemed to surprised no one - and that was bad for me. Every PETA member was there, waiting for me, gazing at me with satanic eyes. Melee weapons such as knives, machetes, axes, and hammers were held by the PETA members. The animals still did their own thing - stand there (that's all they're ever useful for). The old man slowly stood up. "Now you see the truth about PETA."
"Why?" I cried. "Why do you eat people?"
"Because animals deserve the same respect humans do," the old man replied. "Do you know how it feels like to be eaten? Because that's what all animals have to contend with. And so will you."
Everyone clutched their weapons as they slowly edged towards me. I could see my life flash before my eyes. I would be the celebration roast, the feast beneath the stars. All of a sudden, gunshots rang through the night air, and I could see machinegun sparks from the wall that I'm facing. I immediately ran inside the tent to avoid taking fire. I could hear shouting, but it was inaudible due to the loudness given off by the machinegun turrets. The firefight lasted for two whole minutes, and during that time, no one else came inside the tent. After about two whole minutes of dead silence afterwards, I slowly walked outside. All of the PETA members and animals were gunned down, their bodies riddled with bullets and bleeding all over the ground. Then I saw an alien eye attached to the wall straight outward to where I'm facing suddenly light up blue. A wave of blue light came from the wall onto the ground, and then in front of me appeared Isaac, Wendy, Stan, and Ray, whose anal probe was retracting back in his ass.
My next words came out with awe and in disbelief. "You...you saved me. You saved my life. I can't believe it."
"I couldn't leave you with PETA, they're lame." Stan shook his head. "Well, not after what Isaac told us."
"How did you four get on the wall from the outside?" I asked. "Didn't anyone try to stop you?"
"There was an alien conduit attached above the entryway which you came in," Ray replied. "Then we manned the machinegun turrets and...you know the rest."
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," I said. That's right, there was an alien antennae where I came in, embedded into the PETA sign.
"Yeah, Isaac reminded us about the Crab Leader telling us PETA was full of cannibals." Wendy shrugged and her eyes were full of confusion. "But I didn't think it'd be true. We were beginning to wonder what took you so long too. Your brother's a great person."
"Yeah." Isaac stepped forward and scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry for being mean to you earlier today, but I had to do it. Because good siblings know when to smack each other to set each other straight."
I tilted my head to my right as I smiled at Isaac. "I'm surprised you remember what I told you weeks ago."
"Same could be said to you," Isaac reflected. Ha, as close brothers should be.
"Alright, well we can talk later, but there's some things we gotta do first." I went back inside the tent to untie Natasha's body from the wooden post. I slung her body over my shoulders and walked outside the tent.
"Who's that?" Wendy asked.
"This is Natasha Emerson from North Park," I replied. "Well she was going to be PETA's dinner. I'm sure you're wondering why I have this body."
Ray and Isaac used their fire magic to burn down the PETA compound to contain whatever bacteria might still belie inside, and so that Nazi Zombies do not get into the compound and resurrect the dead PETA members and animals. Then Ray and Isaac doused off the fire with water magic so that the fire did not spread uncontrollably. After that, we went out the opposite side from where we came in, leading out with another icy road. The road joined with the main road, in which we continued on north again.
Stan and Wendy both helped me carry Natasha's body. Isaac checked his phone sparingly, as we were probably being tracked by the government. Ray led the way, shining a flashlight through the dark woods.
The road then led out of the forest and into another icy-field clearing. We walked in silence for another half hour or so. To the right was a plateau that wasn't too high off the ground-level of the road, only about five feet at most. It was 10:30pm by that time. The five of us went off to the right side of the road behind the plateau. Someone left a shovel on the ground, so I took it and dug a hole. Stan and Wendy placed Natasha's body inside the hole face-up. I crossed Natasha's arms around her chest, then I filled the hole with dirt again. Isaac placed a rock above Natasha's grave.
Apparently, Stan kept a notebook in his backpack, so he tore off a piece of paper and handed me a pen. And so I began to write.
Here lies Natasha Emerson of North Park, age 10. Although she was brutally murdered by Eco-terrorists, her spirit will continue to serve as the candle that lights the darkness with courage and love to others. May she rest in peace in Heaven. Amen. I taped the paper to the rock Isaac placed. Then I handed the pen back to Stan.
Most of North Park's citizens are Catholic, like South Park. Usually, a proper funeral consists of burying the dead person's body. What gave off the idea that she is Catholic were the last words she spoke to me. "Bless me...for I have sinned." That being said, I know that she died a horrific death, but it felt good knowing that she taught me a valuable lesson about life and people in general before she passed away. It felt great that despite the bad shit the five of us did today like stealing cop cars, trying to ditch school, mugging someone, carrying around a highly lethal bomb, and mass-murdering a bunch of PETA members (although in our defense they did kidnap and cannibalize innocent people), we at least did one kind thing today, even if it was as small as giving someone a proper funeral - a ghetto one at that, I mean comeon, we don't have tens of thousands of dollars. That said, we're ten years old, we don't really know how to act like real heroes, but it's the effort that counts. Effort, like how Stan's and Wendy's relationship managed to survive so long. It's like what Wendy had told Stan the night before. "You wanna be boyfriend and girlfriend with me, but I wish you actually put forth the effort!" Well, to be honest, I'm not seeking a relationship, but I think what Wendy said to Stan could also be applied to most friendships in general. And I'm not a hero yet, but at least I'm a hero to Natasha.
"Natasha taught me an important lesson today." I turned back to the rest of the group. "I...I want to apologize...for being a real pain in the ass recently." I looked down at my feet. I couldn't face them. I didn't want to face them. "I let my grudge get the best of me...eavesdrop on your date...reveal your dark secrets...beat up Harry Potter real bad...almost got myself killed by PETA...and could have screwed you all over as well...it was stupid and stubborn of me." I exhaled.
I did not expect Stan's or Wendy's reaction. They both ran up and hugged me, and I almost fell backwards. They held me for a whole ten seconds then let me go. "Hey, it was our fault too, we were too hard on you, man," Stan said. "I'm sorry too."
"I know why you feel this way," Wendy added. "It made sense why you treated us this way. But I want you to know that you can trust both of us. And besides, Harry Potter was an asshole anyways. In retrospect, it was good you taught him a lesson."
"I do want to trust you both," I said. "This is all happening too fast."
"We'll ease you in," Wendy reassured.
"Yeah, and I'll try to get my friends to be nice to you," Stan replied. "Well...maybe not Cartman, since he's always a manipulative asshole anyways."
I chuckled. "I think everyone knows that part about Cartman, yeah."
"I stand in the sidelines too much," Ray added. "I'm not that involved in your guy's affairs and I wish I was more. I don't think I'm an effective leader, I don't talk too much."
"Ray, that's nonsense," Wendy replied. "A good leader always listens to his teammates."
"Yeah," Stan added. "You gotta make sure everyone can agree is on the same page. But we can owe it all to Isaac for reminding us to save you." Although Isaac didn't say anything, he beamed with delight at Stan's compliment.
Ray nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. That being said, I'm glad we all worked things out." Ray then let out a yawn. "I'm tired, like I just want to die right now. I'm too lazy to make a campfire, I just wanna sleep."
"Yeah, man." Isaac blinked several times. "That's what I was tryna tell you, ya numb nuts."
Ray smiled and laughed. "Quit complaining, Isaac, this hardship is good for your soul."
As the four of them climbed up the plateau, I looked back at Natasha's grave one last time. I knelt down and prayed for her. Hopefully she finds peace in Heaven. Then I stood up and followed my friends. At the other end of the plateau was an overlook of a small lake that beautifully reflected the full moon's light off the surface. The five of us sat with our legs hanging off the plateau with our gazes towards the lake.
Wendy was the first to break the silence. "This is like our first date back at Stark's Pond in 3rd grade."
"What I remember most is Cartman getting taken away by the alien spaceship," Stan replied.
"Yeah," Wendy nodded. "He was pretty selfish, but he was actually a decent person."
"Yeah, Cartman was actually not that bad," Stan replied. "I don't know what made him snap to be honest. Maybe we called him a fatass too much."
"He is still sensitive about his weight," Wendy said.
Stan wrapped his right arm around Wendy as she snuggled closer to him. "Yeah. It's - it's been too long since the two of us are like this. Just resting."
"The way the moon reflects off the lake, it's beautiful," Wendy replied. There was silence for ten seconds then Wendy piped up again. "You know what, I don't care what all the other girls think, and you can consider this as me forgiving you for your mistakes, but taking me on this journey with you has been fun."
"You - you actually enjoy this?" Stan's tone gave off a feeling that he was confused. "You're like - like my girlfriend, dude, and I thought girlfriends aren't supposed to enjoy adventuring and doing bad things like this?"
"Well this trip wasn't perfect, we had some upsets, we did bad shit, but I loved spending time with you doing this," Wendy said, "you know, I was really jealous of how you and Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman would always go on amazing adventures like this one. But I see the struggles."
"Hey, that's what makes us stronger right?" Stan replied. "Um, at least that's what Harbinger would say right now if he were here."
"Speaking of which, what happened to that guy?" I shrugged at Wendy's question, and no one else said anything. "Whatever, he's probably off somewhere, he'll show up again."
"Well there's that, and I also wanted to impress you, or, well do something nice for you for once." Stan sighed. "I don't know, I feel really bad about recently. I think the whole Cock Magic thing let me down. Let us down."
Still facing Wendy, I saw her grab both her cheeks and force him to make eye-contact with her. "We both made mistakes, but don't be too hard on yourself. You did way more today than what's necessary to make it up for me. Even if it might have been unintentional." She then turned Stan's head to face outward. "Don't throw up on me."
"I - I wasn't going to, promise." Stan's voice was nervous this time.
"Haha, liar." Wendy lightly slapped Stan's thigh and giggled.
"I'm not lying, Wendyl." Did Stan seriously call Wendy "Wendyl"? I remember that one time when Eric Cartman announced himself as a transgender so he can get his own bathroom. Then Wendy came to school identifying as a boy to use that same bathroom. Hilarity ensued, as predicted.
"Wendyl? Did you seriously just call me Wendyl?" Wendy began to laugh out loud. "You know I pretended to be a boy just to fuck with Cartman, right?"
"Wait what?" Stan was surprised now. "I called you that by accident. Those few days you were Wendyl, I thought you were actually transgender."
"No, I was just trying to fuck with Cartman," Wendy replied. "Before the Cissy restroom was built, he only used the girl's bathroom because he wanted a stall for himself, and gets really pissy when he didn't get what he wanted. So...I dressed as a guy...and yeah. That happened."
"Wow, you really do hate his guts, don't you?" Stan asked.
"Whatever, he won't get a girlfriend - speaking of which..." Wendy then turned to Isaac. "Isaac, you never told me who you like."
"...why do you want to know?" Isaac asked.
"You don't have to tell me," Wendy replied, "I just want to know." Nice. It's like saying you don't want someone's lunch money, but you want someone's lunch money. "I won't tell anyone, I promise. It will just be between us."
"Well...I kinda sorta have a crush on Jenna," Isaac replied. "Just don't over-exaggerate it or make fun of me or anything."
"Jenna Stoley? Kevin Stoley's and Esther Stoley's sibling? How cute!" Wendy's response made Isaac blush through the moonlight that shone down on us.
"Wendy!" Isaac's voice was in shock and awe.
"Hey, I'm not making fun of you, right?" Wendy then held her hands out. "Alright, alright I'll stop." Wendy then turned her gaze to me. "Cole. How about you?"
"Honestly, I'm not even sure." This is one thing I haven't really thought much in to honestly.
"Hey, just pick someone. Who's the hottest girl in school - besides me?" Wendy fluttered her eyes, and Stan had a smirk on his face. This is super weird.
"Well...there is Heidi Turner." I found her rather memorable moreso due to how the girls were complaining about her spreading rumors than me actually liking her.
Stan and Wendy looked at each other then both of them cringed. What? "Heidi? Eugh..." Wendy's tone was full of disgust.
"What?" I was confused by Wendy. "Something wrong?"
"No, it's just uh..." Wendy looked at Stan for guidance, but Stan was in shock. "She's kind of a...two-faced bitch, if you know what I mean."
"Oh," I replied. "Did she do anything in particular?"
"Well, she spread rumors of Allie Nelson being at the abortion clinic, trying to make her look like a whore slut," Stan replied.
"Hey, if she means that much to you, I can play matchmaker and hook you up," Wendy added.
I shook my head. "Well I honestly don't know if I could do that. I don't think it'd be right. Why? Well you two really seem to be devoted in each other and I figured out why. You both were attracted by looks, which is kinda obvious, right?" Both of them nodded. "But you both grew to each other. Trusted each other. I just don't think...you can't shove two people together and immediately make them love each other. You shouldn't, it doesn't feel right." It was kinda like what I learned about friendship today. It took me a long time to warm up to Stan and Wendy, and it wouldn't feel right shoving me into a relationship. "I don't really believe in the matchmaker stuff, ya know?"
"What about a boyfriend?" Ray threw a mischievous smirk at me.
"Haha, shut up Ray." I smirked back.
"Well I mean all guys need a girl for them," Wendy replied. "I don't know, I don't want you to feel lonely."
"I know." It still bugs me that I've never had a girlfriend when most of the boys in my class have. Maybe the competition for girls have gone too vicious. I don't think I can handle the pressure.
"When we get back to South Park, first chance I get, I'll set up a date with you and Heidi." Wendy nodded.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I didn't want to offend Wendy or Stan. I made a thumbs up with my left hand. "Um, looking forward to it."
"Yeah, I know you're thinking we're being dumb, Cole," Stan said, "but I think having a girlfriend will be good for you. It will definitely teach you the disciprine." There Stan is again, saying "discipline" in a Chinese accent.
I raised an eyebrow. "Disciprine?"
"Yes, disciprine." Stan then started laughing, and so did the rest of us. Stan checked his phone. "Hey look, Draco Malfoy said on facebook that North Park is free of Nazi Zombies."
"Really?" Ray asked.
"Yeah, it seems that with the help of Harbinger and the Crab People, they were able to completely purge the zombies out of North Park." At least it was refreshing to hear that Draco, Vincent, and Greg would be alright in the end. Those three are good people, they deserve to be free of conflict.
I have to admit, as far as things went, this became pretty lighthearted real fast. I looked up at the moon, and there was that green light again, in the distance. Harbinger would be watching over us, guiding us while we would complete the journey. And it will be difficult, there will probably be more challenges waiting in store for us. But you know what? As long as we've got each other, we'll never have any trouble, 'cause that's what bein' friends is about.
As dark and cruel as this chapter got, don't take it too seriously. I know that some may disagree with PETA in real life, but they're not cannibals as far as I know. So yeah, once again, I didn't mean to offend anyone, it's an over-exaggeration of negative traits, something Trey and Matt like to do often (and effectively) for humor. The sequence was heavily inspired by Douche and Turd. And no, I am not making up the part where Stan said the PETA members have sex with animals, that actually is implied to happen in the show.
Natasha is a made-up character of mine; as far as I know, she isn't in Harry Potter. I was kinda getting tired of them argue all the time. Like I know Stan and Wendy can be assholes, but I kinda had to end it here, for my sake and for the readers as well.
Also, the very last sentence came from a certain episode.
For those who decided to skip every chapter 'till now, here's a rough summary of every chapter thus far. Keep in mind this is missing important details:
1. (Beginning of Wednesday) Emulation of Breast Cancer Show Ever (S12E09) from a 3rd person perspective.
2. Cole and Isaac get in trouble over a fight at school.
3. Cole meets Ray (Dovahkiin) and Ray is invited to play the Stick of Truth with Cartman. Cole steals the Stick.
4. Cole, Ray, and Kenny go back into school to fight ginger kids to free Craig and Isaac from detention.
5. Cole, Ray, Isaac, and Kenny go to the school library to find the truth of the Stick of Truth.
6. The Humans and Drow Elves both find Cole with the Stick in the Library. Cole loses the stick to Kyle in the end.
7. Cole and Isaac go home to rethink about plans. Ray tells Cole that Stan has the stick.
8. Cole crashes Stan's date with Wendy to take back the Stick. A spaceship crashes in the South Park Mall.
9. Cole goes home to escort Isaac through a zombie infested South Park and meets up with Stan, Wendy, and Ray at Jimbo's guns.
10. The gang meets Terrorblade, who takes the stick from them.
11. The gang go to Stark's Pond to rest for the night. Drama ensues.
12. (Beginning of Thursday) The Harbinger comes to teach the gang the power of friendship.
13. The gang steals a police car and heads north to North Park.
14. The gang stops at North Park to rest, but are sent to North Park Elementary over threats of truancy.
15. The gang go to see Terrance and Phillip perform live at Bayroyal Hall in North Park.
16. The gang gets kidnapped by Harry Potter. Zombies reach North Park.
17. The gang traverses through the North Park sewers to escape North Park.
18. The gang infiltrates a PETA compound.
