Lizzy and Darcy spent another night at Matlock House. Celebrations upon their return were short, though sincere. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner congratulated their niece via floo call. Dinner was eagerly consumed. Lizzy and Darcy were asleep less than half an hour after eating their last bite.
Lizzy very nearly threw her pillow at the maid that woke her.
"Lady Matlock says you must be up now, Miss," said the maid apologetically. "Your classes start in forty-five minutes."
Lizzy's eyes snapped open and she hurried to get ready with the maid's help. When she made her way down to breakfast, she found Darcy already awake and shoveling food down with as much decorum as he could manage in such a narrow timeframe. Lizzy ate what she could and wrapped a few more things up in a napkin before stepping through the Matlock's fireplace and coming out of the one in Flitwick's office.
"Good morning, Miss Bennet, Mr. Darcy," Flitwick said cheerfully.
Adrenaline having worn off from rushing to prepare for the day, Lizzy felt weariness grip her again. "Perhaps to some," she said bitterly.
Flitwick only laughed. "Off you go! It won't do for you to be late to your first class back."
"How dreadfully cruel of him to be so very chipper when we are so miserable," said Darcy mildly as he and Lizzy began winding through the halls.
"Not so very miserable," said Lizzy. "We are, after all, to travel to India in a mere five weeks!"
Darcy set his arm around Lizzy's shoulder and pulled her to him so he could kiss her temple. "I suppose you're right. I will only allow myself to be a little miserable, then."
"I think I've seen ghosts that look more alive than you!" Phoebe said by way of greeting at lunch.
"Maybe they've been killed and turned to inferi," Zebulon ventured morbidly, and poked Lizzy's arm as if to test his hypothesis.
"Ha ha," Lizzy said drily. "You would not look much better if you'd gone through the tournament we did!"
"Well, are you going to India?" Josephine asked eagerly, glancing between Lizzy and Darcy.
"We both are," Lizzy said with a contented smile.
Lizzy and Darcy were hardly allowed to speak of anything else the rest of the day. Everyone wanted details of their duels.
"I am so very pleased for you," Jane said in her gentle manner when Darcy and Lizzy joined her and Bingley for dinner. "I know how interested you are to see magic practiced by different peoples."
"Oh, I wish you could come along, Jane!" Lizzy exclaimed.
"I would only irritate you with my constant worry," said Jane with a smile.
"When do you return from the competition?" Bingley asked. "Do you know yet?"
"We will leave straight from Hogwarts," Darcy supplied, "and should be back within three and a half weeks."
Bingley turned to Jane. "July, then, do you think?" he asked eagerly. "Is that agreeable?"
"Very agreeable, Charles," Jane answered with a radiant smile.
Lizzy looked expectantly at the engaged couple until, finally, Bingley gave the anticipated explanation.
"Jane and I wanted to wait until we knew of your plans to set our date," Bingley offered. "The first available date in July will see us wed!"
Lizzy beamed and declared her excitement.
"Will you assemble your trousseau while I am away, Jane?" Lizzy asked as Darcy heartily shook Bingley's hand.
"Only enough of it to appease Mama," said Jane. "I intend to get most of my robes, at least, from the maker in Hogsmeade. They are of a fine quality, even if not as sought after as the shops from Diagon Alley."
The sisters tended their own conversation while the men tended theirs for a few more minutes until discussions merged.
"Will you keep Netherfield, Bingley?" Darcy asked. "You could floo in for class on the daily, I suppose."
Bingley and Jane exchanged a loaded look. "We will stay at Netherfield for the summer," Jane answered delicately. "We intend on taking a cottage in Hogsmeade for seventh year. Beyond that our plans are not fixed."
"While our ladies are at the robe maker's on Saturday, Darcy, I hope you will accompany me to look at several such cottages," said Bingley. "I've already sent a few letters out."
Darcy readily agreed to Bingley's suggestion.
After dinner, Darcy and Lizzy began making their way to the library. They were to be joined by Jane and Bingley after Jane tended to a few of her duties as head girl. The engaged couple had agreed to catch their fellows up on what they had missed while at the tournament.
"I am so very happy for Jane," Lizzy sighed contentedly as she and Darcy strolled the halls. "She is so excited to become Mrs. Bingley!"
"And Bingley is very much looking forward to her taking the title," said Darcy.
"Louisa will surely be happy to have someone take over duties as hostess when the baby comes," Lizzy added.
"Caroline will be disappointed, though," Darcy countered.
Lizzy scrunched her nose. "Caroline is of such a disposition she will be disappointed with everything!"
"That's very true," Darcy conceded.
"I do so look forward to meeting Baby Hurst," Lizzy said, her smile reappearing. "I imagine there will be a Baby Bingley to keep its cousin company before eighteen months are gone!"
Darcy suddenly turned pensive.
"Darcy?" Lizzy queried. She stopped their progression to better look at his face. "What is the matter?"
"Nothing is the matter, my dear."
"You were so happy but a moment ago," Lizzy insisted.
"I am only thinking, Elizabeth."
"Of what?"
Darcy ground his teeth a little as he considered his answer. "I was thinking of what other cousins the children of the Hursts and Bingleys might enjoy."
"Well of course they should – Oh," Lizzy gasped as she caught Darcy's meaning. She felt herself blush as Darcy looked at her intently. "I don't know that I'm – that is to say, I – I mean, I would like – "
Darcy cut Lizzy off with a quick kiss.
"I don't mean to fluster you, my love," Darcy said lowly. "When you are ready, I will be waiting, but I would not see you rushed."
"Thank you," was all Lizzy could think to say in response.
They resumed their journey to the library, each absorbed in their own thoughts.
"All right there, Higgins?" Lizzy asked smartly as she ripped the Quaffle from his grasp.
"Will be once that Bludger hits you," Higgins quipped.
Lizzy dove quickly out of the way of the Bludger speeding toward her, then threw the Quaffle off to Octavius before another attempt could be made on her.
Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw was the last Quidditch game of the term, and the winner would take the Quidditch Cup. Lizzy's attention had been greatly occupied by the event, to the point where she had been caught doodling plays and formations in her notes by various professors.
"Watch for the feint!" Higgins shouted at his Keeper as Octavius zoomed toward the goalposts.
Octavius missed, but Phoebe quickly regained control of the Quaffle and succeeded where he had not. Higgins called a timeout thereafter.
"On their best today, Ravenclaw is," said Levi breathlessly as Gryffindor team gathered together at their end of the pitch.
"Aye, but we're not doing so bad ourselves," said Siobhan.
"How do things look from your vantage point, Ezra?" Lizzy asked her Seeker.
"Reese seems to be favoring his left today more than usual, but nothing remarkable," Ezra answered with a shrug. "I've seen the Snitch a few times, but Motley's keeping a close eye on me," he added sullenly. Motley, Ravenclaw's seeker, knew Ezra had better eyesight than she did, but she had a superior broom. In their scrimmages, she would frequently wait until Ezra started after the Snitch, then overtake him and beat him to it.
"Sounds like it's time for you to start faking her out," Phoebe scoffed.
"Agreed," said Lizzy. "Give her so many false starts she gives up on watching you, Ezra."
Ezra nodded dutifully.
"Julian, Levi, watch my left a little more closely for me, would you?" Lizzy asked her Beaters. "If Higgins hadn't been fool enough to warn me, I would have had the breath knocked out of me just a few minutes ago."
"Ogden and Linton have been holding out on us in scrimmages, I'd wager," said Julian.
"Of course they have, fool!" Phoebe scolded. "You've been doing the same."
"I want to do some quick passes, at least for a little bit," Lizzy said to Octavius and Phoebe. "Keep close. Only hold the Quaffle for a few seconds, if that. I want to keep Ravenclaw guessing."
Madam Hooch blew the whistle and both teams took their positions again.
Lizzy's team followed her instructions wonderfully. Within ten minutes, Ezra was free of Motley's shadow, Julian had saved her from two more Bludgers, and Levi almost unseated Higgins. She, Phoebe, and Octavius passed the Quaffle so quickly that even Lizzy had trouble tracking it at times. She was quite pleased when the next timeout was called.
"Don't become overconfident," Lizzy advised when Siobhan approached with a gleeful whoop. "We're in a good position now, but we know all too well that may not hold. Ezra, don't catch the Snitch unless we hold at least a forty-point lead."
Ezra craned his head to look at the scoreboard. "As long as Siobhan keeps her pace, there'll be no concerns there."
"Julian, Levi," Lizzy said commandingly, "forget us Chasers and keep on Motley. If she starts going for the Snitch, you stop her."
Julian saluted somewhat mockingly while Levi nodded firmly.
"Phoebe, Octavius, we're mostly on our own. Do we all remember the commands Siobhan taught?" As a precaution, Lizzy had asked Siobhan to teach each member of the team certain words in Gaelic so they could communicate in secret on the field. No one on Higgin's team spoke the language.
Phoebe and Octavius both responded in Siobhan's native tongue and, though the Keeper laughed at their pronunciation, Lizzy was satisfied. She ordered her fellow Chasers to keep an eye out for Bludgers and warn each other just as Hooch called for play to resume.
"Using Siobhan against us like that is certainly a trick, Bennet!" Higgins shouted when he rushed at her to disrupt her flight path.
Lizzy smirked. "Nothing in the rules against other languages!" she replied.
"Just you wait until next year, then!" Higgins laughed. "I'm now determined to learn a whole host of languages over the summer!"
Lizzy smiled sweetly at Higgins until he became uncomfortable, then pulled up abruptly just as a Bludger collided with his shoulder.
Ezra was suddenly streaking across the pitch, Motley close behind. Lizzy shouted out in Gaelic for Octavius to block Motley's path, which he did without hesitation. Motley was slowed only momentarily as she diverted around him, but it did allow Ezra just a little more wiggle room. Motley was hampered further by having to dodge a Bludger from Julian, then almost immediately after by Levi. She flattened herself on her broom, but it was not enough. Ezra caught the Snitch and all of Gryffindor erupted in a cacophony of cheers.
Lizzy flew to her Seeker and ruffled his hair while Julian, Levi, and Octavius all bowed to him on their brooms while pretending to cry. Siobhan approached and pinched Ezra's cheeks affectionately while Phoebe yelled at her brother to stop behaving like an idiot.
Professor McGonagall, wearing a Gryffindor flag like a cape, met the team on the ground. "Excellent strategies, Bennet!" McGonagall shouted over all the noise. "Excellent!"
Lizzy swelled with pride as McGonagall removed the flag from her own shoulders and draped it around Lizzy's. She laughed gleefully as her housemates rushed the field and lifted the team onto their shoulders. Gryffindor had lost the cup to Hufflepuff by only a few points last year and had not even been in the running the year before that. They were excessively pleased to be in possession of the honor.
"Tonight, no one in Gryffindor Tower sleeps!" Zebulon cried. "Tonight, we celebrate!"
"Would you care to amend your statement, Mr. Thomas, Prefect of Gryffindor House?" McGonagall asked archly, though she was still bearing an uncharacteristic smile.
Zebulon began trying to smooth talk McGonagall, an effort everyone knew would fail, while Gryffindor team was whisked away back toward the castle.
When it came time for Gryffindor to descend from their tower to join the rest of the school for dinner, members of the Quidditch team were again hoisted onto shoulders. Lizzy felt such great affection for her housemates she could not muster up any irritation for being jostled around so much. She could not even be annoyed at the fact she had yet to be afforded the opportunity to change out of her Quidditch robes.
It was difficult for Lizzy to manage, but she did disentangle herself from her enthusiastic housemates long enough at one point to find her way to Ravenclaw table and approach Higgins.
"No hard feelings, Garrett?" Lizzy asked politely, holding out her hand to shake.
Higgins sighed dramatically before shaking Lizzy's hand with a grim smile. "It was a game well played, Lizzy. We'll get you next year."
"I look forward to seeing what you come up with," Lizzy laughed. She next looked to Darcy, who was seated next to Higgins. "And you, sir? Do you bear any ill will towards me?"
"If Higgins does not find fault in your antics, it would hardly be fair for me to do so," said Darcy emotionlessly.
Lizzy arched a brow in response to Darcy's aloof manner. She might have challenged him on it, had not Lydia come over to grab her arm and drag her back to Gryffindor table.
"So you managed to get away from the rest of Gryffindor, I see," said Darcy as he closed the door to their study tower behind him and leaned against it.
Lizzy grabbed Menace, who she had been playing with moments before, and perched herself on the edge of the table. "Well, I could hardly be faulted for going to look after my cat. Pleased as Gryffindor is with me, they are unwilling to allow Menace entry to the common room again."
"I owe Menace a debt of gratitude, then," said Darcy as he approached Lizzy. He gently extracted the cat from her arms and set the creature on the floor, despite Menace's protests.
"You have a strange way of showing it," Lizzy countered as Menace meowed pitifully.
"I did not say I intended on paying him immediately," said Darcy, stepping forward again until his legs were nearly against Lizzy's knees. "I very much enjoyed watching you on the pitch today, my dear."
"I wouldn't say as much to Higgins," Lizzy advised with a laugh. "He just might throw your trunk out a window or hang your clothes out in the Great Hall, as vengeance."
"If that is how Higgins would react to my statement of admiration," said Darcy, beginning to lean toward Lizzy's face, "I should hate to think how he would react to this." And Darcy kissed Lizzy in a much different way than he had done before, leaving them both short of breath.
"Well that was new," Lizzy gasped, putting her hands to her flushed cheeks.
"But not disagreeable, I would hope?" Darcy said with some amount of anxiety. He still had a hand cradling the back of Lizzy's head.
"No, indeed," Lizzy said as her eyes lit with mischief. "Quite the opposite, in fact."
"You, my love, will drive me mad," Darcy declared before leaning in again.
The pair were interrupted by Menace hopping onto the table, climbing into Lizzy's lap, and beginning to claw at Darcy's chest.
"Alright, alright!" Darcy said irritably, stepping back slightly and carefully unhooking Menace's claws from his robes.
Lizzy laughed and began scratching her cat's ears. Menace glared at Darcy as he began purring from Lizzy's attentions.
"Now I can see why Gryffindor doesn't want him around," Darcy sulked.
"This quirk is quite new," said Lizzy, "and, I think you should be pleased to know, is likely to be reserved entirely for you."
"It is to be war between us, then," said Darcy bitterly, crossing his arms and glaring at the cat that had begun nonchalantly licking its paw. He vaguely wondered if Mary had somehow linked herself to Menace so the cat could act as chaperone in her absence.
"You said you enjoyed watching me today," Lizzy said conversationally, choosing to ignore the brewing ill will. "May I ask why?"
Frustrated at being thwarted by the cat his sister, his very own flesh and blood, had given to Elizabeth, Darcy heaved a great sigh before collapsing into a chair, utterly defeated. "There is just something about seeing you completely in control of so much that is utterly bewitching. I like that you do not back away from conflict. That you are creative. That you are bold. That you are so very comfortable under such pressure as the Quidditch Final."
"Such appreciation was not garnered in the dueling ring?" Elizabeth asked lightly.
"Oh, it certainly was," Darcy answered easily, kicking his chair back onto two legs. "Then, however, you were in control of yourself alone. To speak plainly, my love, it pleases me to see you so at ease in a position of command. You know my desires. Such a trait as you posses would be required in the woman that takes over as Mistress of Pemberley."
Courage suddenly failing her, Lizzy looked down to Menace and became incredibly interested in the way his fur flowed from one color to another.
"As I have said, Elizabeth," Darcy continued, "I will not force you, nor see you rushed. But I also will not hide my hopes, especially from you."
"What if I am never ready?" Lizzy asked quietly.
"Then I shall have to make adjustments to how I think," Darcy said.
When Lizzy did not respond, Darcy's chair legs hit the floor and he was soon leaning against the table next to her. "Can I ask what has prompted such thoughts? Is there something I have done to make you doubt yourself?" he asked lowly.
"No, you have been everything wonderful," Lizzy rushed to reassure. "I can't explain it," she said frustratedly.
"Please try," Darcy requested.
Lizzy did her best to ignore the fact that Darcy was so close to her, instead focusing on tracing Menace's spine repeatedly with her finger as she tried to sort through her thoughts. "This past year has brought so much change to my life. I don't know that I can handle much more, however pleasant that change might be."
"That I can understand well enough," Darcy said. "It is this business of perhaps never being ready that I hope we can discuss."
Lizzy huffed, then shut her eyes tightly, hoping against hope that such an action would slow her raging thoughts. "I suppose," she said after several minutes, "that I have not really considered marriage and all it might mean since coming to Hogwarts." She opened her eyes, surprised at her own words which she only then recognized the truth of. "I've grown up being told that I must marry. I've seen so many women marry and disappear for one reason or another. I've heard horror stories of women married for money or for their youth, treated as a possession. At Hogwarts, I realized I did not have to submit to such a fate. That I didn't want to. I suppose I've become adjusted to the idea of being a spinster, as here I can do very well for myself without being bound in marriage."
Darcy said nothing for several moments, just stared at the stone floor in front of him. "You fear I would try to control you, take your freedoms."
"It is not you I object to in the slightest," Lizzy said, becoming frustrated with her inability to make sense of anything. "It is the concept of marriage, in general, I think."
"But you do not fear for Jane entering such a state with Bingley," Darcy stated.
Lizzy started. "No, I suppose I don't."
"Then it must be me that is the problem."
Angry now, Lizzy pushed Menace off her lap, grabbed Darcy face, turned it toward her, and tried to kiss him in an effort to assure him such was not the case. He failed to respond appropriately and, after only a few seconds, pulled away and removed her hands from his face.
"You said you would not rush me or force me," Lizzy said bitterly through the tears that were beginning to cloud her vision.
"I am not trying to do either," Darcy said in a carefully controlled voice. "I am trying to understand you, Elizabeth!"
"I'm trying to do the same!" Lizzy shouted. She shoved herself off the table and started for the door. Before she could open it more than a few inches, however, it slammed shut firmly. She whirled around to see Darcy immediately behind her, his face set like stone and his arm braced against the door.
"As we are both exceedingly confused, perhaps we might arrive at a solution together, rather than running away," Darcy suggested. He sounded very close to his breaking point.
"I don't know what the solution might be, but I am certain it is mine to find out," Lizzy said stubbornly.
"I rather think I have a significant interest in this," Darcy countered.
"Because I have permitted it to be so," Lizzy snapped. "If my doing so has led you to the conclusion that you have any sort of right to my confidences, that permission shall be terminated immediately!"
Darcy's eyes filled with such a terribly awful mix of emotions Lizzy could find no words to describe it.
"Is that what you want, Elizabeth?" Darcy whispered tightly.
On an impulse, Lizzy wanted to declare that, yes, she wanted to keep all her own confidences and never bother with Darcy again, but the very idea of cutting him so nearly brought her to tears. "No," she said smally.
Darcy sighed and hung his head in great relief. After a moment, he pushed himself upright, then held a hand out to Lizzy. "Perhaps we should sit and discuss this like civilized beings."
Lips twitching in a very slight smile, Lizzy accepted Darcy's extended hand and allowed him to seat her at the table before taking a chair, himself.
"Now, Elizabeth, I hope we can both agree that there is something bothering you immensely and, if we do not address it, it will come between us quite cruelly," Darcy said reasonably.
"The past ten minutes seem ample enough proof of the concept," Lizzy conceded.
"You say you are not sure you can explain just what is bothering you."
"Yes."
Darcy and Lizzy simply sat and studied each other for a few minutes.
Lizzy let out an irritated sigh, then made her way over to the shelf, grabbed several pieces of parchment, and brought them back over to the table. "Give me time," she said as she drew a quill from her pocket. "Let me see if I can make sense of my own ramblings."
Darcy held out his hand for a piece of parchment, which Lizzy gave him, and found a quill for himself. For the next hour, at least, they said not a word, but instead scratched away as they put their thoughts to ink.
"I'm not sure this makes much sense," Lizzy said unhappily, scrutinizing the pages before her.
"Perhaps a second opinion is in order," Darcy suggested. "May I?"
Feeling shy for her outburst, Lizzy pushed her papers over to Darcy and accepted his in turn.
By the time Lizzy got to the end of Darcy's thoughts, her face was bathed in her tears. He expressed so many hopes for their future, listed so many reasons he loved her, wrote over and over again that he wanted her to retain her independent spirit and would never knowingly do anything to dampen it. Such only increased her feeling of guilt for being unable to give him a favorable answer. They had grown so close, and she so very much enjoyed spending time with him. Why was she struggling to let them move to the next logical step?
"May I keep this?" Darcy asked. When Lizzy nodded her acceptance, he carefully folded her papers and tucked them into an inner pocket of his robes. "What is on your mind now, Elizabeth?"
Lizzy released an unsteady breath. "Regret that I can't, at least not yet, give you what you so clearly want and very much deserve."
"I do not deserve anything from you, Elizabeth," Darcy said firmly, but gently. He reached his hands across the table and held them open.
Lizzy hesitated only a few moments before placing her hands in his. For all her fears, she still wanted his comfort, though she only felt wretched at accepting it. How selfish she was being!
"We are still very young," Darcy said after a few moments of rubbing circles on the back of Lizzy's hands with his thumbs. "We have both been through a great deal, have had to take on responsibilities well beyond our years. I have had more time to make peace with such things, and perhaps that is why I feel more ready for entering the marriage state than you. Perhaps all you need is time."
"But what if that's not it, William?" Lizzy asked nervously. "What then?"
Darcy exhaled carefully through his nose. "Then I will have a very difficult decision to make," he said heavily.
Lizzy bit her lip. She did not have to ask what that difficult decision might be; she knew it well enough. Darcy would have to chose between his heart and continuing the line of the Darcys of Pemberley. "I wish I could," she whispered. "I truly do."
"I believe you," Darcy said soothingly. "For now, that has to be enough."
The couple simply sat for a time, hands interlocked, without exchanging a single word. Eventually, Darcy kissed Lizzy's hand and suggested her housemates might be close to sending out search parties for her, if they had not yet already, and left.
Lizzy set her head in her arms and let herself cry. Once she dragged herself back to Gryffindor Tower, she hitched a smile on her face and participated in the festivities as well as she was able.
"Alright, out with it," said Phoebe the moment the door to the dormitory had closed behind her, Josephine, and Lizzy.
"Out with what?" Lizzy asked with her best attempt at innocence.
Josephine gently pulled Lizzy down onto the bed beside her. "Lizzy, we know you were crying before you came back. Did something happen with Jane? With Darcy?"
Lizzy felt an annoying flash of jealousy at the mention of her elder sister. Jane was experiencing no doubts about her relationship, or at least she had not told Lizzy so. Then again, Lizzy thought bitterly, Jane had not been telling her much of anything as of late.
"Annoyed at Jane, are you?" Phoebe asked shrewdly.
Lizzy's surprised eyes snapped to her friend.
"Jane's not the only one that's been taking her concerns to someone new recently," Phoebe patiently explained.
Lizzy grew hot in her embarrassment. "I have not been meaning to neglect you!" she burst anxiously.
"You're not neglecting us, Lizzy," Josephine soothed. "You're just not talking to us about the same things you used to."
"It's only right that you share your burdens with the person that, barring any catastrophe, will be your husband," said Phoebe without a trace of offence.
Lizzy stuttered and spluttered for several moments until catching sight of her roommates' knowing grins.
"Yes, it's that obvious that he wants you, dearie," said Josephine somewhat condescendingly.
"What's less obvious to the general population, but perfectly clear to such stellar beings as we are," said Phoebe, "is that you are absolutely terrified of letting yourself love him back as he does you."
Lizzy felt the sting of the accusation acutely, but chose to focus on that which was less threatening to exposing her core. "I am not terrified, Phoebe Weasley!"
"Yes, you are," said Phoebe with an unconcerned wave of her hand. "Desperately."
"And you know it, which is why you're purposefully missing the point," said Josephine wisely.
"I have had a very long and tiring day," Lizzy tried. "Can we, perhaps, go to sleep and discuss this at a later time?"
Both Phoebe and Josephine vetoed the idea immediately.
"Listen, Lizzy, Jo and I have spent quite a bit of time talking about this," said Phoebe, drawing herself a chair and settling into it with her feet on the bed next to Lizzy. "Sometimes, other people can figure things out about you better than you can, because they have perspective. Well, we think we just might have figured it out."
"Will you listen, Lizzy, or are you determined to be stubborn and run away?" Josephine asked without judgment.
Lizzy bit her lip and nearly started crying again. The sensation frustrated her immensely. She was not usually prone to tears, and yet she had shed quite an impressive amount of them in the past several months. Relief that she had such steadfast and caring friends, however, pierced the irritation and soothed the urge. "I will listen," she said quietly.
"Wonderful!" Josephine exclaimed with a smile, then looked to Phoebe.
"We figure you're scared to let yourself love Darcy because nearly everyone else you've loved and trusted with the care of your wellbeing has disappointed you in some fashion," said Phoebe. "Your mother's psychotic, your father's indolent, and Jane's head over heels. You're irritated at Jane, sure enough, but you're also annoyed that you're irritated, which only makes matters worse."
Some part of Lizzy felt she ought to take offense, but she knew Phoebe all too well to be put off by the blunt statements, or that she could deny the truth of them.
"Mary can't take Jane's place," Josephine continued. "Sure, she can learn your every thought easily enough and keep confidences well, but not because you gave them to her, and you know the relationship would be horribly lopsided. Kitty and Lydia are too young and, thanks to failures of others, too much your responsibility to be your confidantes."
"So there goes your family," said Phoebe, still failing to put any finesse into her statements. "Charlotte might have been a good outlet for you, if not for the fact that she's a Muggle and now married to that loon Collins."
"You have us," said Josephine. As she spoke, she began taking Lizzy's hair down to braid it. "However, no matter how much we love you, and you us, we can never take the place of each other's families."
"But you could make a new family with Darcy," Phoebe pointed out.
"And the thought scares you out of your wits, because you fear that, once he becomes your new family, he will disappoint you just like your other has," Josephine gently finished the explanation.
Lizzy looked ahead without truly seeing and felt horribly empty. She supposed she had recognized many parts of what her friends had told her before, but to have it told to her so factually, and to have the layer of Darcy woven in, hit her differently.
"Lizzy, we will support you no matter what you chose to do," said Josephine after several minutes. She had finished braiding Lizzy's hair.
"We just don't want you to live in fear," said Phoebe.
Knowing their friend needed time to process, Josephine and Phoebe simply congratulated Lizzy again on Gryffindor's win, bid her goodnight, and went to bed.
Author's Note
So remember how last chapter was just so freakin' cute? ...yeah...lol. Sorry for sucker punching you?
Anyway, I hope you and your family are doing well! Leave a review, share your thoughts.
