Today is the first day of spring, aka the first barbeque party of the year! (the last one is on new years eve) So I hope you're all good despite the ongoings of the world. I still hope you can bring you some enjoyment with this monster of mine.
Part 4: A Candle for a Giant
Chapter 5/6: Miscalculation
Zoro knew he was out of the loop, that there were pieces of the happenings on this island he hadn't witnessed. But he could fit most of those pieces together easily enough. Nami had said she and Usopp had been picked up by a giant, and from the looks of it, it was the one now nailed to the ground beside the cake with wax knives through his hands and feet. The giant person was sooty from the bomb that had blown up in his face, but other than a singed beard and a bloody nose, he didn't seem to have taken much damage from the explosion.
That dude with the red coat had very little to brag about and still strutted around like a king of the hills. He even made the haughty comment; "Oops, did I kill him?"
The giant coughed, girt his teeth, and tears started rolling down his face. Zoro looked away. He knew those tears. Hadn't he shed them too, not too long ago? When something truly important was lost, when doubt settled in, when you were still alive despite the bitter defeat.
Back then, Zoro had latched onto Ruffy, thrown his pride at her feet and made her a promise.
"I WILL NEVER LOSE AGAIN!"
But what did this giant have to hold against defeat?
Zoro made a bit of a face as he examined the enemies before him. None of them posed a challenge, so his own spirit was lacklustre at best. The wax hardening against his skin was really annoying too.
Nami and Vivi on either side of him were starting to cough.
"My chest hurts," Nami said.
"The wax is getting in our lungs! We'll become was statues from the inside!" Vivi warned them.
"That's right! Die in agony!" the lit man laughed.
Zoro lifted an eyebrow. He was certainly not going to do what this idiot wanted, and he could still move. The wax on his clothes and skin wasn't very thick, so it cracked and flaked off as he turned his head and flexed his muscles.
Nami and Vivi weren't quite as lucky. Nami was trying to brush off the wax from her arms, but got stuck trying. Vivi was staring at her hands, and Zoro could tell from the slight movement inside her wrists that she was trying to move her fingers.
Still, Nami wasn't saying anything, didn't look at Zoro or stared anxiously into the jungle.
Always so smart, but the situation was getting more and more dire. They couldn't wait any longer.
"Hey, giant. You can you move, can't you?" Zoro asked, eyes locked on the enemies. "Even without hands and feet, you can still fight better than a dead man." He drew his sword. "I'm going to cut off my feet too and fight these guys."
Nami finally turned to him, her eyes saying 'wait, she'll be here soon!' but her mouth screaming: "Cut your feet off?! Your own feet?! Are you mad?! Don't joke around now!"
"I'm not joking at all. What about you two?"
"Don't be a fool!" Vivi protested. "Even if we get out of here, they'll just capture us again!"
"How can you say that without even trying?" Zoro said and drew another sword, getting ready. "We're going to die here anyway, so why not make it messy? I sure as hell ain't going to roll over and die the way these creeps wants me to."
Brogy stared at the little man, baffled. The fog in his mind cleared, and the words his father had once ingrained in his heart resurfaced with more clarity than ever.
"Elbaf favours those who die fighting."
Hadn't he recited those words for all his life? When had he forgotten their meaning?
No. That wasn't it. Brogy laughed loudly at himself. It wasn't that he had forgotten the meaning of those words: he had never understood them. Not until now. Now when he lay wounded with his enemy right there laughing at his face, at his pride. As long as he could still breathe, as long as his heart was still beating, how could he ever stop fighting?! Wasn't that what it meant to fight until death?
"Cocky little bastard. How dare you speak God's words to me?!" Brogy glared at the young boy, smirking approvingly at him. "I like your spirit. To Elbaf's halls."
Zoro grinned back. He didn't understand all the words, but the meaning was just in line with his own thoughts.
"You're all talk," the candle man said loudly, as if that was going to change their conviction.
"Stop it!" Nami cried when Zoro turned the tips of his blades downwards. "How are you going to fight without your feet?"
"How?" Zoro grinned. "I'll fight to win, is all."
Beside him, Vivi stared at him. There was something in her eyes, like wonder, and when she opened her mouth, it wasn't to protest.
"Take me with you! I want to fight too!"
Zoro was really starting to like this princess. "Perfect."
He stabbed down, and the giant let out a rumbling war cry as he too started tearing himself loose.
Vivi was bracing herself for the pain of losing her feet, and stared with satisfaction as Mr 5 and 3 blanched. She didn't know how she was going to fight them, but she was very clear on that she had to fight. How could she possibly save anyone if she didn't fight?
Zoro was raising his blades again, the tips bloody. The angle was odd so he hadn't made clean cuts. Vivi watched, forced herself to, deeply respectful to the swordsman. His blood was so starkly red against the white of the wax.
Brogy-san ran out of air, his hands and feet splashing blood up his ankles and arms, and in the pause, another chorus of voices made them all raise their heads.
Ruffy-san, and Usopp-san on Carue's back, barged out of the jungle at full tilt, running so fast they ran straight past the gaping Baroque Work agents before they hit the brakes.
"HEY YOU JERKS! GET READY TO DIE!" Usopp roared, waving his fist. But losing his balance he promptly fell off the speeding duck. One of Carue's wings hung limp at his side, and with only one wing to help cut his speed, he too stumbled gracelessly.
Ruffy-san collided with a tree and stumbled back, shook her head and turned, hat in one hand and katana in the other.
"Usopp, Carue! Let's get them!"
"Roger!"
"Quack!"
Vivi was too happy to see Carue alive and kicking to care how their clumsy entrance completely shattered her earlier sense of urgency and battle spirit.
Beside her, Mr Bushido's arms relaxed.
Nami was a bundle of nerves as she shouted. "You're late! Where were you?! Now clobber these idiots beyond recognition and send them flying!"
Ruffy lifted her head. "Hey, Nami. Sorry, Dorry put a mountain on me."
The navigator gaped. "How do you get a mount… I don't want to know."
"Um, it's true, actually," Vivi said timidly.
"I said: I don't want to know! It's bad enough that it's not the weirdest thing that ever happened to Ruffy! Did you know she freed herself from an execution stand by getting struck by lightning?!"
Vivi wisely shut her mouth, unable to progress that image. At all.
Before his candelabra, Mr 3 was starting to emit a cold, murderous aura. "It's the little pirate girl you came back saying you had killed," he said stiffly.
Mr 5 hurriedly stepped forward. "Apologies. I'll kill her right now."
"She's still alive because you are clearly unable to do exactly that," Mr 3 hissed. "It's a girl the size of a beansprout, and you failed your mission because of someone like that twice. No, you take the other boy with the long nose. Or is he another failed kill?"
The way Miss Valentine flinched, Mr 3 got the picture.
"So both of you on him. And for your own sake; do not dare fail again."
Mr 5 made a strange noise, but stepped back.
Brogy was readying himself for another attempt of breaking free, but he noticed the boy with the swords had stopped.
"Boy, are we not resisting anymore?" he asked.
"We are, but captain will take it from here," the lad said with a smirk.
The giant relaxed and even chuckled a little. "Captain, huh? That used to be me back in the day. What a strange feeling."
"If she can't win, we're dead. That's what it means to bet your life on someone else, don't you agree?"
Vivi listened to their voices, yet again struck by how calmly they accepted the situation, even reminiscing happily, as they were all slowly dying. Weren't they afraid at all? Didn't they worry? Doubt?
"Being on this ship just makes stressing about it feel like a waste of energy."
Was that it? Vivi couldn't really wrap her mind around the idea. This was so far away from the diplomatic world she'd grown up in. So far removed from the mentality of Alabasta's army. At the same time, she couldn't feel very stressed herself if the people in the same position as her were so calm about it.
Zoro suddenly sheathed one sword and raised the other to point at the sky with his other hand resting on his hip.
"What are you doing now?" Nami asked in exasperation.
"Posing. If I'm going to become a statue, I want to look cool."
"How can you say that?!" Vivi protested. She definitely didn't want to become a wax statue at all. And what kind of comment was that anyway? Did he have faith in Ruffy-san or not?! Why'd he give up like this?
"Do something about your legs, it hurts to look at it," Nami commented from Mr Bushido's other side.
"Then don't look."
Ruffy stared at her bickering crewmates and Vivi. They stood still on something that had the shape of a cake, but even staring at it, she couldn't tell what the cake was made of other than the edges being slightly see-through, making the vision fuzzy for her eyes. The same material was filling the air like a mist and covered her friends.
"Are you in danger?" she asked them.
"Nope," Zoro stated immediately.
"Yes we are!" Nami rebutted. "This pillar behind us! You need to break it fast! We're turning into wax statues!"
Ruffy blinked and tried to take in the whole cake. Indeed there was a pillar behind her friends, but the mist in the air stung her eyes so she couldn't quite make out what was moving on top of said pillar. The only good thing about this situation was that both giants' heartbeats had quieted down enough for her not to need the constant concentration on her mental defences. They were still too loud for her to hear anything else, though. If she hadn't tied her heart to Zoro and Nami, she wouldn't even have sensed them here.
Shodai hummed quietly in her hand while another voice spoke up.
"So you're the highest bounty in East Blue. The marines have lowered their standards too much."
The voice was silky and mocking. Ruffy recognized the insult, automatically filed it as a grab for attention and thus not worth answering. Besides the annoying bomb guy and his yellow add-on, there was also a lazy-looking girl having a picknick by the edge of the jungle and a lanky man in a blue-striped vest and bowtie.
"Yow, your hair is weird!" were the first words that slipped off Ruffy's tongue when she saw him.
"Shut up, it's not!" the man protested, but Ruffy couldn't stop staring.
"It's too weird! It's a three, a number three on fire!"
"I said quiet! Take this! Candle Lock!"
Ruffy blinked and stumbled when the same transparent material as the cake suddenly flew towards her and wrapped around her feet. It was warm at first but quickly cooled and hardened. She stared at it in surprise, reaching out a hand to touch it. Despite how delicate it looked, it was more solid than a rock. But it looked like a…
Ruffy's eyes lit up as an idea struck her.
"How easy. Now; become a part of my Extra Special Candelabra!" the weird hairdo guy demanded and sent another flow of gloopy liquid towards her. But as fast as it was, it wasn't very agile, and Ruffy more or less cartwheeled out of the way. The lock was around her ankles, not her feet, and that was enough for her to spring onto the knife that impaled the trapped giant's left hand.
"Nice to meet you, Brogy! I'm Ruffy!" the pirate called out as she grabbed the hilt and started using the extra weight on her feet to rotate herself on it.
"Ni-nice to m-meet you," the giant said, caught off guard, but quickly started gritting his teeth in pain as the girl span faster and faster, making the wax blade move and wiggle in his hand. Why does pain inflicted by others hurt more?
"What's she doing?!" Mr 3 demanded.
"Ruffy-san?" Vivi called out.
"What the hell?" Zoro blurted out.
Nami was the first to realize what was happening, her calculative mind seeing the angle her captain was spinning in, but she couldn't speak, least the wax guy managed to sabotage it.
"Cursed power!"
Zoro's eyes went wide. "She's attacking? Like that?"
"I can't run!" Nami realized way too late.
"What's going…?" Vivi started.
"SLEDGE HAMMER!"
Ruffy released her hold and came flying straight at the pillar, hitting it with the flat side of the lock on her feet with the weight of a wrecking ball.
"Oh," Zoro said and huffed out a breath of relief. Short-lived relief, because even though the pillar broke in half and the pieces followed Ruffy into the jungle, the spinning piece on top of the pillar was clearly not attached to the pillar, but had been sitting on top. Now it was coming straight down. "Oh shit!"
Vivi and Nami both screamed and closed their eyes, the wax cracking on all of them as they tensed up
But the cake they stood on had three tiers, and they all felt the impact painfully through their spines when the top part landed heavily on the cake.
"Saved by design… I'm going to kill her," Nami gasped.
"Get in line," Zoro growled, trying not to sound like he too had just seen his life flash by.
Vivi stayed quiet, just revelling in the fact she was, in fact, still alive. Her heart was beating too hard for her not to be.
Ruffy came bouncing back, feet free and a wide grin on her face. "There! Pillar gone! Now… why are you guys still standing there?"
"We can't move!"
Ruffy blinked, and something flashed through her expression. "Can't move? But I broke the pillar like you said!"
Mr 3 started laughing, and the triumph of it… Zoro watched his captain change, but his arms were stuck. There was no way he could think of to aid Ruffy now.
"I can't move…" Vivi breathed, eyes widening.
"What's going on? The hardening speeded up?"
"Idiots!" Mr 3 shouted. "You brought the candle mist closer! You will become wax figurines more quickly. Go ahead and die!"
Ruffy pressed the heel of her hand against her right ear. "Die? Nami, are you dying?"
"Yes! That's what I've tried to tell you! Didn't you listen?!"
"I… I can't hear you? The giants' heartbeats are too loud!"
Nami paused. 'What did she just say?'
But Mr 3 didn't pause. This girl did have a thirty million bounty, and apparently it wasn't all without reason.
"Wax harpoon!"
The girl snapped her eyes to him, but another cry came from the jungle.
"Gunpowder star!"
Mr 5 finally showed his use. He stepped forward, and like a practiced trick, caught the bullet-sized ball that came for Mr 3 in his mouth. Swallowing, his body swelled comically, probably part of the trick since Mr 5 could easily absorb explosions without flinching. The smoke coming from his ears was quite clearly a part of the trick since the stomach had no passageways to the ears.
"Tasted terrible," Mr 5 mocked the boy cowering in the foliage. "You should use better gunpowder."
In the jungle, Usopp shrank back with Carue, intent on observing rather than engage. Yes, he was royally pissed at these people, but he hadn't forgotten his own limitations. Two Baroque Works big-shots with their partners (with a fricking SHICHIBUKAI as their boss setting the standards way too high) was above and beyond what he could face head on. Still, his distraction had worked and Ruffy had slipped under the harpoon aimed at her. She feinted and got around the agent, Usopp guessed he was Mr 3, and aimed for the spinning, white pumpkin with the candles.
"Cursed power…"
"Candle wall!"
A white wall flew up in front of Ruffy, and she bounced off it with a pained yelp.
"This can't go on," Usopp hissed and searched his ammo. The bomb guy would be easy enough to deal with, or at least to slow down now that Usopp knew a trick of his, and Ruffy could beat his head in. The girl in yellow was still a woman, Ruffy could probably knock her lights out with one hit. But that was just it; he was depending too much on Ruffy's stupid strength. But there had to be something he could do too! What about the cake thing? Master Brogy, Zoro, Nami and Vivi. All of them were losing colour, becoming white as the candle mist slowly covered them.
Mr 3 made another call of "Candle Lock" at Ruffy. He seemed to prefer capturing over actually attacking, and Usopp swore when his captain was too slow to avoid the lock thing capturing one of her hands.
Until he saw her wide smirk.
"I've got a hammer," she sang, spun on her toes and flew at Mr 3.
Usopp jumped to his feet and cheered loudly. Mr 3 made another wall, but Ruffy, fast learner as she was, hit it with a deafening thud, breaking through it, and then she swung her sheathed sword and landed a solid hit on the agent's temple.
Usopp had a sudden recollection of Ruffy's fight with Arlong, when she'd kicked out his teeth to use for herself, and Usopp nodded to himself. "If the enemy's own power can be used against them… great. Good thinking! Go captain!"
With Mr 3 out of the way, this fight was…
"I don't want to save you."
Usopp froze in the middle of a victory dance. 'What?'
Suddenly Mr 5 and his partner were right in front of Usopp, smirking at him as if they'd just won. Why? Ruffy just sent that candle man flying. Why were they grinning.
"Ruffy?"
She stood there, frozen, her expression sort of blank. She didn't even acknowledge Usopp.
On the cake stood Zoro and Nami with slack jaws. Both of them had been with Ruffy for longer than Usopp, and even he knew this was too far out of character for her. Ruffy loved them, there was no way she would say something like that. Was she possessed? The people before him were grinning wider.
"What have you done?!" Usopp demanded.
"Nothing. Your annoying captain just walked into a trap, is all."
The woman in yellow cackled. "Can't you see the ground where she stands?"
Ground? Usopp's hands flew to his head. In Rouge Town he had bought a pair of googles which could be used as spyglasses (though it was really the crosshairs in them that had attracted him), and now he brought them to his eyes. Indeed, Ruffy stood on some kind of black mark.
"What the hell is that?"
"Oh nothing. Just ordinary paint," the woman giggled.
"And you're a dead man!"
Usopp just barely jumped clear of the kick, probably saved his foot from being blown off his body judging from the damage to the tree behind, and he jumped towards the duck that was already turning to flee.
"Let's go Car… CARUE! WAIT, I'M NOT IN THE SADDLE YET!"
"Give chase, Miss Valentine!"
"Yes, Mr 5!"
Ruffy felt something was wrong. Something was holding her, but she couldn't tell what.
"Ruffy! Don't joke around now! We're about to become wax figures if you don't break this thing! We'll die!"
Memories beat under the surface of her heart, ghost sensations of pain and loss, but her mind somehow decided it was unimportant, that the pain she was so familiar with had no connection to this situation.
"I know… but I don't want… to save you…"
She couldn't lie, so those words had to be true. She didn't want to save Nami and Zoro, and not Vivi either. Somehow.
Vivi caught her eye. The princess wasn't looking at her. Instead she was glaring at something behind Ruffy.
"So it's you, Miss Golden Week," she snarled. "This is your doing!"
Nami looked up. The entire time, ever since she and Zoro were brought out to be candles on this cake, there had been a girl having a picknick by the edge of the clearing. She'd been so inconspicuous, despite her pastel coloured clothing, that she had melted into the background of the scene. Now the girl had stood up, still chewing on rice crackers, and was holding a pallet and a brush in one hand.
"It's my colour trap," she explained indifferently. "Black of betrayal. The black colour makes one want to betray even their best friends."
"What did you say?!" Nami wanted to throw something big and hard and heavy on the girl. How dare she call them "best friends"?! They were Ruffy's bloody crew! People she couldn't live without! How could…?
"That girl is an artist. I don't know if she ate a devil fruit, but she can accurately recreate the colour of emotion and inflict them on others," Vivi explained.
"Like hypnosis?!" Zoro grimaced between them. "Not good. Such tactics are devastatingly effective on simple-minded idiots like Ruffy!"
"But easy enough to counter," Nami caught on. "Ruffy, move away from the paint!"
"Why?" Ruffy blinked, and from the way she trembled, how wide her eyes were, Nami knew she was fighting the mind control.
"It's what controls you! Step off that design and…!"
"No! Absolutely not! Please Ruffy-san, you can never step off that design!"
There was a cracking sound beside Nami as Zoro probably tried to break free. Nami wished she could turn her head, just so she could read Vivi's expression. Maybe then she would understand why she suddenly…
"That's what you think," Ruffy huffed and hopped off the mark.
Zoro made a noise of "aha", and Nami felt like slapping herself. She really was too used to Ruffy's honesty. Seeing her captain's eyes clear, understanding dawning in them, Nami felt happy to see her again.
Until the Golden Week girl made another swirl with her brush and Ruffy burst out in uncontrollable laugher.
"Oh no, she painted on Ruffy-san's shirt!" Vivi said. "Now what?"
"Fuck that bitch! Ruffy can't fight an opponent like that," Zoro hissed.
"Ruffy! Your shirt! Take it off!" Nami demanded with the harshest voice she could muster.
"NO!" Ruffy refused, tears rolling down her face as she struggled to stand despite her laugher.
Damn, damn, damn! Nami had completely forgotten Ruffy's complete refusal to show her back! Even now that was somehow important to her.
Just then, Vivi's duck, with Usopp riding it, again came crashing through the jungle, brushed hard against Ruffy, and disappeared. Again. Chasing them was the bomb guy and his extra.
"Fuck off!" Zoro shrieked after them. Clearly he too was at the end of his patience.
"Ruffy-san?"
Vivi's voice brought Nami's attention straight back to Ruffy. When Usopp had run into her just now, the paint had been disrupted. She was panting now, out of breath, and white was starting to cake on her hat and arms. Not as much as on Nami, but enough for the navigator to know the younger girl wasn't safe either.
Ruffy had finally caught whiff of who her next opponent was. However, she was losing her mind, the world closing in on her, and she could feel Shodai's heartbeat in her hand.
She crouched on all four, snarling and hissing.
Miss Golden Week had never been a fighter. She'd been bullied as a small child though, and she recognized hostility for what it was. This girl was about to attack.
"Colour trap: bullfight red."
The piercing gold eyes instantly zeroed in on the red mark, and Miss Golden Week backed away slightly. She was tired already. Couldn't Mr 3 wake up soon? She didn't want to fight, didn't care about this mission or these people. All she could do really was to keep this stupid pirate busy long enough to….
Miss Golden Week cried out in fright. She had expected the pirate to attack the candelabra and just be redirected towards the red mark. She hadn't anticipated the pirate to go straight for the mark and turn it into a crater as big as a rowboat. With the mark destroyed, Miss Golden Week once again found herself the sole focus of those beastly eyes.
She acted fast. "Colour trap! Mixing the laughing yellow on your clothes with sorrow blue. Calming green."
The monster girl calmed. Or at least she sat down in a dog-like fashion. But she struggled. Her eyes were still gold, staring emptily in front of her, and her nails were all claws digging into the soil.
Miss Golden Week had affected hundreds of people with her colour traps in her career. Nobody could withstand emotions. There was nobody she had never managed to control. She'd inflicted madmen with Calming Green and been able to serve them tea.
Not this time. Somehow, even under her control, this pirate was still dangerous.
Miss Golden Week carefully backed away. She'd never encountered anyone dangerous like this. Mr 3 never approached a target without knowing they were no longer dangerous. This was a major miscalculation, and Miss Golden Week was scared.
"Mr 3! Please wake up!"
When they had spotted the island, it had been midday. Since then approximately four hours had past. During those four hours they had docked and Zoro had issued a hunting contest with Sanji. When the cook had left the boat, Usopp and Nami-san had still been onboard. Once Sanji had returned with a lizard of quite good size, along with a sack full of vegetables, mushrooms, spices and fruits, he'd found Merry alone and empty.
"How strange. I wouldn't have thought my sweet and vigilant Nami-san would have left the ship unattained?"
But be that as it may, since there were no signs of struggle on or around the ship, Sanji didn't think anything bad had happened Nami-san. Besides, he trusted her judgement. If she thought it okay to leave the ship, then it was okay. Most of the animals Sanji had encountered thus far were quite small anyway.
So the cook had laid out his kill for Zoro to behold once the brute returned, and Sanji had enjoyed a few moments of fantasizing about the swordsman's disgrace, Nami-san's admiration and Ruffy's declaration that Sanji was the better man between him and Zoro.
Moments that slowly dragged into hours and still there was no sign of Nami-san, Vivi-chan or Ruffy. Or any of the boys. At long last, Sanji was starting to grow worried.
"This is too strange. Something's definitely wrong," he muttered to himself. "How long have I been waiting? Why is nobody coming back? Did something happen? Are Nami-san and Vivi-chan in danger? Wait, Vivi-chan is with Ruffy. She wouldn't let anything happen to Vivi-chan… but they might have become separated?"
Sanji rubbed his chin in thought. He liked to fantasize about being the knight in shining armour, but in a moment like this he had to be realistic. The girls were both independent women and strong in their own right, and Sanji didn't think he'd need worry over Ruffy. But for his own peace of mind, he got up and headed back into the jungle. After all, it had been terribly noisy a few times, like a battle was fought somewhere on the island.
"Nami-san! Vivi-chan! Ruffy! I love… I mean, where are you!? But I love you as well!"
A big, sabre-toothed cat tried to ambush him, and Sanji figured it could take him through the dense foliage much faster than he could walk.
The good thing about cats, that Sanji knew, was that they all froze in place when you grabbed them around the scuff of their necks, regardless of race or size. It gave him the opportunity to hop onto the cat's back while it tried to run from him.
He kept calling the girls' names, until he suddenly spotted something that was much too white between the trees. Jumping off the cat, which hurriedly ran off, Sanji went to investigate.
It looked like an ice cube, with a door and round windows, and it wasn't made of ice. Walking closer, Sanji sniffed, further surprised the house seemed to be made completely out of wax, the kind you use for candles.
"Pardon the intrusion," Sanji called politely and opened the door. Inside was a comfortable chair and a round table, with a cute check tablecloth, a tea set sitting in the middle. Potted plants decorated the space the windows let the sunlight in, making it all look fairly homey, despite the too white walls.
Without really thinking about it, Sanji made a cup of tea for himself. The only tea leaves were Earl Grey and a quite fine blend at that. Classics were always the most difficult to do right.
A noise outside made him gasp. "Shit! I don't have time to sit here and sip tea! What if Nami-san and Vivi-chan are waiting for me to rescue them?! Why is there a tea house in the middle of the jungle anyway?"
Setting the table back in order and finishing the tea he'd poured, grimacing as it burned down his throat, Sanji scratched the back of his neck and was about to leave the strange house. The sound of ringing stopped him at the door.
"Is that… a snail signal?
Beside the chair was a small wicker basket. Sanji lifted it onto the table and found a ringing telephone snail inside. Sanji happily answered the call that definitely wasn't for him; he'd always wanted to do this kind of prank.
"Hello, this is restaurant Le Crap. Need a reservation?"
"Stop fooling around, you idiot. Your report is late and I'm losing patience."
The voice on the other end was wonderfully annoyed and struggling for control, but Sanji suddenly had a strange feeling.
"Oh, my bad. Who am I talking to?"
"It's me, Mr Zero."
Sanji slowly leaned back as the realization crept up on him. Mr Zero was code for the boss of the group hunting Vivi-chan. That he was calling this telephone snail could only mean those hunting the princess, Baroque Works, were on this island, and this house was their base.
"You've been gone a long time. Have you not finished your mission, Mr 3?"
The cook craned his neck. The side of the snail did say Mr 3. And by mission, Sanji had no doubt that was to kill Vivi-chan, and probably Nami-san and Ruffy as well. Shit, he really didn't have time to sit here!
"I asked you a question," Mr Zero said, and his voice was getting slow. Pressing. Threatening. "Answer it. Have you eliminated Vivi and the straw hats?"
Sanji breathed out a puff of smoke, wondering absentmindedly when he'd lit a cig, and brought the receiver to his face.
"Of course, Mr Zero. Mission accomplished." He made sure to relax all his muscles, down to his very heart, and his voice flowed easy and confident, with a hint of pretend classiness he thought the agent probably had, judging by the tea. "Everyone who has had any knowledge of your secrets are dead."
The other end was quiet for a while, not immediately accepting. Sanji wondered if he should make up some excuse for his long silence earlier. He could say he'd been in the middle of taking a shit and had answered with his pants down, but ultimately decided against it.
"I see. Good work," Mr Zero answered at last. "The Unluckies are on their way to confirm the kills, and deliver a certain object."
"Un…" Sanji started but quickly cut himself off. Mr 3 must know what 'Unluckies' were, and Mr Zero already seemed suspicious. Instead Sanji immediately went on with "Deliver something?"..
"An eternal pose to Alabasta. Take Miss Golden Week to Alabasta and await further orders. The time has come to initiate the most crucial part of the plan."
A flutter of wings and shadows blocking the sunlight had Sanji look up. In the two round windows stood a spotted otter and a vulture with a flowery cap.
"What the hell are those?" Sanji blurted out.
