A/N: Hello! I hope you're all having a good summer despite everything!

I'm a little less confident about this chapter for a variety of reasons, including the fact that it's my first time writing smut.

Thanks for all your sweet reviews! Thanks to Kayleigh for being an amazing beta reader!

Enjoy!

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT


"Yummy!" Yaran exclaimed enthusiastically. Nesta smiled, watching him devour the cake she'd bought at the local patisserie.

"What do we say?" Khoniya reminded her son gently. She wiped his mouth and tucked his dark reddish-brown hair behind his fox ear, which he'd inherited from his mother.

"Thank you." Yaran's wide, dark blue eyes were serious as they looked at her.

Nesta replied, "You're very welcome."

He grinned before settling into a corner of the rug of the floor. He occupied himself with the small wooden cubes, which he assembled in different structures, and the small wooden animals. He made different sound effects as he moved different pieces, indicating that certain animals were flying or fighting or sleeping.

The first time Yaran had visited, he'd clung to his mother. He kept avoiding Nesta's gaze, hiding behind Khoniya, and had seemed very shy and quiet. Nesta wondered if all small children were going to be afraid of her. Would her child be an exception? What would she do if her child wasn't an exception?

But the second time Yaran visited, he had recognized her and come out of his shell. He hummed and danced around her house, as Nesta and Khoniya tried to hide their laughter lest he think they were mocking him. He managed to tire himself out, and fell asleep before Khoniya left.

Now, on the third visit, Yaran was completely comfortable. Today he wasn't hyperactive, but was in a calm, joyous mood, meaning his presence didn't interrupt their reading/writing lesson at all.

"Thanks for getting cake. You didn't have to," Khoniya said, finishing her own slice.

Nesta waved her off. "It just gave me an excuse to get some cake."

They chuckled.

That evening, as Khoniya and Yaran opened Nesta's front door to return home, they found a tall, lean man with black hair and moon-colored skin waiting for them.

"Papa!" Yaran exclaimed as he ran towards the man, who lifted the child above his head and spun him around, eliciting an excited yelp from the boy.

Khoniya approached him next. The male tucked Yaran into his hip, put an arm around Khoniya's waist and pecked the female on the lips.

"I got off work early, so I thought I'd walk you guys home," he told her. Khoniya blushed and smiled, putting her head on his shoulder. Nesta was about to close the door, when Khoniya whispered something in the male's ear. He released her and handed her Yaran before walking up to Nesta.

"Hello," he said with a grin. "I'm Elian."

"I'm Nesta. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, same here. Thanks for everything you're doing for Khoniya. I know she really appreciates it. I'm glad you're friends." He ran a hand through his short hair. "She's had some trouble making friends in Velaris," he grimaced. His expression told Nesta everything she needed to know about why Khoniya had had trouble in that area. Nesta recalled Khoniya's explanation about people's disapproval of her relationship with Elian and even Brielle's brief mention of the insults she'd experienced upon arrival in Velaris.

He continued, "But she's incredible, and she deserves so much more. And from what she's told me, you're pretty amazing yourself. I'm glad you found each other."

Nesta did not know how to respond. "Oh. Thank you."

Elian tugged his mouth upwards, forming a half-smile.

Nesta noticed that his eyes, which had first appeared as black as his hair, was actually dark blue, like his son's.

Elian cast a glance at Nesta's protruding belly, but didn't say anything. Sensing his question, she added, "I'm pregnant."

"Sorry if I was staring, I just didn't want to assume." He seemed apologetic.

"It's fine."

"Well, if you ever need any help or anything, or if you just need a babysitter, Khoniya and I are always willing to help out."

"Thank you."

"Okay, I should get going now, but it really was a pleasure to meet you, Nesta. I hope we'll meet again soon."

"Likewise."

He gave another friendly smile before returning to his family. As they walked away, Yaran waved to Nesta over his father's shoulder.


"You do want to find out the gender today, right?" Cassian asked her as they prepared to go to see the healer.

Nesta nodded.

"Are you excited? Or nervous?" Cassian asked, seeming both excited and nervous.

"I don't know." She wrapped her arms around him, and sent him a glance. He shot into the air.

"What about you?" She asked.

"Oh! I'm… I don't really care about gender but finding out makes it so much more real." He sent her a wary look. "Sorry, I know it's been months and I already know it's real. And I should be used to the idea, I am in some ways, but at the same time it's so, um," he scrunched his brow, trying to find the right word.

Perhaps taking pity on his struggle, Nesta said, "I understand. I feel the same way sometimes."

He seemed both surprised and relieved at her comment.

At the healer's office, Nesta and Cassian took their usual spots — her on the bed, him on the chair. The healer asked Nesta her routine questions about her health and activity, and then checked the fetal heartbeat.

"You are now at 21 weeks," the healer explained. "You will probably start to feel the baby move soon."

The healer shuffled her papers. "You're a little more than halfway through the pregnancy. Personally, I would recommend that you start thinking about the logistics of where your child is going to live, what crib they are going to use, where you are planning on nursing the child, what clothing your child will wear, etc. In the third trimester, you will likely have less energy to plan for all those things, and babies frequently arrive early, though hopefully not in this case."

Cassian nodded.

"Yes, my friend gave me that advice as well," Nesta noted. "Is there anything specific you recommend?"

"A rocking chair is good for nursing and getting the baby to sleep," the healer replied. She tapped her pen against her notepad. "You should probably get a pacifier, crib, blankets, baby clothes, and linen wrappings. If you plan to have a nursery, you can get that set up. Also, parents tend to do this at different times, but you could start thinking about names."

Cassian's eyes widened and he seemed to pale slightly. Nesta only nodded.

"Do you have any stores you'd recommend?" she asked.

The healer turned towards her desk, opened a drawer and then handed Nesta a pamphlet.

"It's a list of stores in Velaris that have baby items. I'm sure there's more, but that list is a good way to start."

Cassian glanced at Nesta, and she passed him the list. It included about 20 locations.

"Alright," the healer said after a few moments, clasping her hands together. "Would you like to know your baby's gender?"

At that, the two parents' heads snapped up and nodded. Healer Galen brought out a bowl, which she dipped her hands into. The bowl glowed purple.

"Okay, before I perform the spell, I would like you to know that while it will accurately show the baby's biological gender, which we healers call the sex of the baby, it does not account for the gender identity of the child, which may be completely different. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Nesta answered as Cassian nodded.

"Great." The healer placed her hands on top of Nesta's baby bump.

After a few minutes, the healer removed her hands. "Congratulations, it's female."

Cassian inhaled sharply. His eyes were wide in contrast with his small grin.

Nesta was silent.

She remained mute on the way home. Cassian explained apologetically that he had to get back to the House of Wind tonight so he couldn't spend time with her, as they'd become accustomed to doing after appointments, but she stayed expressionless. She only broke her silence to indicate her assent when Cassian asked if he could come over in one week's time to discuss and begin preparing for the baby's arrival.

It was only after Cassian departed, and the last lights of the sun disappeared, that Nesta allowed herself to feel her emotions.

A daughter.

How the fuck was she supposed to take care of a daughter? It was clear she was only good at raising girls to hate her, as demonstrated by her two younger sisters.

Her child… would her daughter, as the child of the Night Court's general and the niece of the High Lord and Lady, be expected to be married off like a prize mare, like Nesta was supposed to before her status had dropped?

Nesta's stomach dropped as another realisation hit her. Her daughter would be fae. Meaning, her daughter would have a mate. And try as Nesta might, she couldn't guarantee that she could protect her child — after all, Nesta had been useless again Tamlin, hadn't she?

A female. The world was not the same for males and females; a fact Nesta wished was not true, but which continued to be a reality, even here. To a female, the world was filled with males who wanted — no felt entitled — to hurt her and use her for their own pleasure. The world was a cage, as she was passed from being under the care of her father, to her husband. Freedom was a faraway dream — whatever was accorded to her was only by the mercy of her husband. Females roamed the world with caution, looking over their shoulder and walking faster when a male was behind them. They had to obey a thousand social rules, always striving for perfection that couldn't be achieved. A female was judged at every step, by males who thought they had a right to tell her what to do with her own body, by females who fed their own ego by tearing down others.

Nesta was powerless to stop any of it from happening. Nesta hadn't even been able to protect herself from the cauldron and had barely escaped from Tomas. She couldn't stop Feyre, her brave and strong youngest sister, from leaving or staying with an abusive asshole. Elain, her little sister who had managed to stay sweet and kind despite all the poverty and hunger life had thrown their way, had been shoved into the cauldron and had broken before Nesta's eyes. How was she going to ensure that her daughter would be safe and sound for her immortal life?

Nesta shut her eyes and let out a sigh. Thoughts of her sisters were unwelcome. They brought with them too many emotions — guilt, longing, anger, betrayal, pain, jealousy, loneliness, sadness, despair, pride.

Still, even her sisters, who were now in a better place, with a supportive group of friends and kind lovers, were only where they were because of Rhysand. Had Feyre's mate been anyone else, their lives would be completely different — it wouldn't matter how strong Feyre was or how kind Elain was. In the end, males still ruled the world.

Her thoughts shifted to Khoniya and Brielle. They had both endured and overcome a plethora of struggles (they hadn't discussed many of them in detail, but somethings didn't need to be said). Being a female, from another court, especially a Lesser fae female, was difficult. But Brielle — bubbly and bright Brielle — and Khoniya — calm and kind Khoniya — had not just survived all that life had thrown their way. No, they had embraced their obstacles and had grown. Although she wished they hadn't had to face so many challenges, Nesta also knew that they would not have become the fae they were today if they hadn't experienced such pain.

Khoniya never took her newfound family for granted because she knew the pain of having to leave your family behind. Brielle, having realized that even her dream city had its own share of darkness, chose to see the good in everything and make the most of every situation — there was always a reason to be sad, so why not choose to be excited about every small piece of happiness?

There was no need to rule the world. You just needed to understand how to live in it — not survive it, but live. Still, how was she supposed to teach her daughter how to do that when she was just starting to understand it herself?

She glanced at the night sky outside her window. The stars shone brightly. The same stars that had looked down upon her when she'd been human, that had been there since before she was born and would still be there long after she died. Perhaps some found comfort in these unchanging orbs of light, but Nesta found them to be cold. It was like when you felt better when it rained when you were sad. The stars seemed to mock her petty existence and all the wishes people and fae made upon them. They were unmoving and unknowable — as Nesta herself had once strove to be.

Nesta much preferred the moon. It was eternally in a state of change, waxing and waning — constantly inconstant.

As she observed the night sky, she wondered at her own newfound immortality. It was something she often kept herself from thinking about, because as a human, she had been taught that life was precious because it ended. You valued everyday, because you knew you would only have, at most, a century to roam this plane of existence. What, then, was the purpose of a life when the days stretched out endlessly before you, turning into decades, centuries and millennia?

Maybe, she considered, she could accept this life, this immortality, if she decided to live like the moon rather than the stars.

Nesta closed the curtains. As she changed into her nightgown and undid her braid, another bit of her past struck her. Nesta had once overheard her parents discussing whether or not they should try for another child.

There's no guarantee it'll be a boy, her father had said.

I wish I could've given you a son, her mother had replied.

It's not your fault, her father had assured her. Besides, we thought Nesta and Feyre would be boys.

Although Nesta knew that her parents loved them, she also knew her parents had wished for a son. Just like everyone else, they wanted an heir, someone to carry on their legacy and family name.

Was Cassian disappointed the baby was female?

Nesta unsuccessfully tried to dismiss the worry from her mind.

She climbed into bed. After a few more minutes of worrying, she decided to think instead about the plot of the latest book she'd read, where a lady fell in love with a stableboy.

She soon drifted off into Morpheus' realm.


He raised an eyebrow. "Won't you come have an adventure with me?"

Cassian stood at the edge of the ocean, his muscular chest bare.

Nesta grasped his outstretched hand and then clung to his neck as they shot to the sky.

"Where are you taking me?"

Cassian whispered into her ear, "If I told you, sweetheart, that'd ruin the surprise."

His breath on her neck and his low whispering tone made her shiver.

Cassian, sensing her reaction, laughed. His chest rumbled with the noise.

They landed on sand.

Nesta reluctantly let go of him and lowered herself to the ground.

"Look," Cassian said. Nesta's gaze turned in the direction that he was pointing and caught her breath. It was the most beautiful sunrise she'd ever seen. The sky was streaked in a million colors and a flock of black birds flying in the distance contrasted beautifully. Her sister would have wanted to paint the scene and make it last forever. Nesta, however, was content to just observe the sight.

The clouds moved, and the sun continued to rise until day officially broke. After what felt like both an eternity and mere seconds, Cassian tugged on her arm and she turned around.

He turned towards the hot spring. Nesta didn't know how she hadn't noticed it before.

They walked up to it. Cassian removed his clothing, pausing before getting rid of his last layer.

"Aren't you coming?" He asked.

Nesta raised an eyebrow at him, which he correctly interpreted to mean Turn around because I'm not getting naked in front of you.

Cassian smirked but turned away, shedding his underwear and entering the water.

Nesta removed her own clothing and walked to the edge of the hotspring.

Cassian had waded in, and the water reached just under his belly button.

Nesta dipped her foot in the water. It was warm — honestly, it was a little too hot but in a pleasant way.

She entered the water, and waded in. She had reached the point where the water was just under her knees when she suddenly recalled the Cauldron's swirling waters overwhelming her.

Focus Nesta, she told herself. The Cauldron was so, so cold. This is hot water. Not cold.

She walked a few more steps, and the water covered her knees. The water splashed as she moved and she found she could no longer move. She gasped softly.

The Cauldron's waters swirled. There was no way to hang on to the edges. She was going under. Nesta Archeron, it called tauntingly. Nesta. Nesta.

It's voice had changed. It sounded rather like — "Cassian?" she gasped.

"Nesta!" He was holding on to her arm. His hazel eyes were worried. "Hey, sweetheart. Are you alright?"

Nesta took a moment to adjust. She was in a hot spring with Cassian, not in the Cauldron.

"I don't know," she replied quietly.

Cassian wrapped his arms around her. She closed her eyes, and let everything fade away. All she could feel was Cassian's strong heartbeat. She breathed in his comforting scent.

After a few minutes or hours, she realized that they were standing naked, skin-to-skin. She hesitated for a moment, but then decided, why the hell not? She pressed a small kiss against his neck.

She felt him shift slightly.

She traced down his neck towards his shoulder, pressing kisses.

He swallowed, and clutched her tighter.

She reached the tip of his shoulder when he groaned, "You want to play, sweetheart?"

Gods, that voice. Perhaps he noticed her squirming. "You like this?" he asked in a low voice, before gently biting her earlobe. She arched her neck, and he traced it with his tongue.

He moved his hands down her back and gripped her butt.

As if in answer, she put her hand between them and grabbed his length — which she found to be already somewhat hard.

"Nes-" he groaned as her hand moved. Suddenly, he gave her a playful smile and lifted her.

He carried her bridal style to the edge of the hot spring, which was lined with large rocks, and set her down.

"Nesta," he whispered, his mouth finding her breasts, and then shifting lower, lower, lower.

When he was satisfied with her moans, he moved back up her body. Nesta wrapped her hand around him once more. His eyes closed, and he let out a grunt — but pulled away a few moments later.

When she seemed disappointed, he laughed softly and kissed her hard.

"Not right now," he said. He looked at her with a question in his eyes and she nodded. He spread her legs and entered her slowly. And then faster. Harder.

Nesta's legs wrapped around his waist.

Passion filled the air as they gripped each other, moaning each other's name. The world disappeared and it was only them, only now.

She shattered and he followed.

He rolled off her after a few moments. They rested until the euphoria faded.

She shifted to rest her head on his chest, but paused first to give him a soft kiss. Well, it was meant to be a soft kiss, but he opened his mouth, and they were lost once more to the thrall of lust and love.

"Cass" she moaned as she found her release, again and again —

And then, she woke up.


"Here's your share for this month," Brielle said, handing Nesta an envelope.

Nesta peeked inside the envelope, expecting around the same amount as the previous month. Her eyes widened.

She looked up at Brielle's laugh.

"Sorry, it's just you looked so shocked," Brielle said, trying to stop laughing.

"It's okay," Nesta replied. "I was just surprised. It's… a lot."

"Well, our overall profit doubled this month, so I figured our salaries should reflect that, right?" Brielle grinned.

Nesta smiled back.

"Okay, question," Brielle asked.

Nesta nodded, indicating that she should keep talking.

"So, I keep a certain amount of money — of profit — saved up for the boutique, separate from the rent and all that. But thanks to this month, we now have a lot of savings. The place next door, Vin-et-un, is moving to a different location. We have enough money to expand to that as well, even if this month was just a fluke," Brielle explained.

"Do you want to expand the boutique?"

"Well, I was thinking that we could use the space to do something a little different. What would you think of a clothing shop? Or a bookshop? Maybe a tea shop or café?"

"Well, we would need to buy a lot of new materials, but if you think that it's possible financially, I think we should add something that's lacking in the boutique. I don't think we have enough expertise to really get into fashion, and we already carry the easy accessory-like items. As for books, well, I used to work in a bookstore, so I have some knowledge in that area."

"Is it an area that interests you? There's no point if you don't like it."

"I do, I do, trust me. You mentioned a tea shop. Again, I don't have much expertise there but it could be interesting, since the closest place to get a quick bite, besides getting groceries or actually sitting down at a restaurant, is Lucynthia's. A lot of customers are a bit thirsty…"


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