A/N:

Okay, here's the new chapter. I wasn't feeling too inspired so idk how it turned out.

Thanks to my beta reader, Kayleigh.

Thanks to everyone who left reviews (I read all of them and take them to heart)

Please let me know what you guys think!


"What about your mother's name?"

"No," Nesta replied sharply. "I don't want to name my daughter after anyone. I want her to be herself."

"Okay." Cassian rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you have any ideas?"

"I borrowed some books from the library with different names and meaning. I have a few that I like." Nesta collected said books from her bookshelf, and placed them on the table in front of Cassian. He flipped through the pages.

"Carina is a nice name," he remarked absently. "So is Ara."

Nesta rolled her eyes and let out a huff that sounded slightly like derisive laughter.

"What?" he said defensively.

"Of course you'd want to name our child after a constellation."

Cassian raised an eyebrow. His expression seemed to say, I am the General of the Night Court's Illyrian army, you know.

Nesta shrugged one shoulder. More like the puppet of the Night Court's High Lord.

"Well what names do you like?" His tone was slightly exasperated.

Nesta retrieved a sheet of paper from her bedside table. "Here's a list I made with some initial ideas."

The paper had a little less than 20 names with small notes besides them, explaining the meaning or association.

Cassian's eyes scanned the list. He pointed at a few of them. "I like these."

Nesta nodded.

"Can we take Emlyn off the list?" he asked sheepishly, his eyes resting on the table. "I, uh, had an ex with that name…"

"Okay," she agreed, though her jaw tightened. I'm sure if we eliminated all the names of your lovers, there'd be no names left.

Cassian's eyes glinted. I'm hundreds of years old, darling. What's your excuse? At least I bothered to learn their names, which is more than can be said for you.

Nesta narrowed her eyes. "How fucking dare you," she whispered. Her voice was so quiet that only Cassian's fae ears could pick it up, but it was strong.

Cassian smirked dangerously. "Me? Sweetheart," he bit out the word provokingly, "I haven't done anything. Are you jealous?"

Nesta's expression turned hard. She scoffed, "Jealous? Only in your dreams."

"You know what my dreams are filled with? You, wrapping your legs around my head, and me making you moan," he was leaning in towards her now. "Making you cum for me again and again, just like that night…"

Nesta refused to let the blush rise to her cheeks.

"We were drunk."

"I know. Imagine how much better it'd be if we were both sober," he purred.

Nesta looked away and took a deep breath.

"Anyway, we need to go buy some baby clothes, and decide what to do about the crib, rocking chair, and any other furniture we might need."

"Trying to change the topic, Nes?"

"I am actually trying to be a responsible parent and prepare for this child, because I care about her," she said sharply and accusingly.

Cassian's lighthearted, flirty expression disappeared. "You don't think I care about this child?"

Nesta remained silent.

"Of course I care! You think I enjoy lying to my family about where I'm going and hiding parenting books from them? You think I'd stay up thinking about this child, worried about what might happen to them and what kind of parent I'll be if I didn't give a shit?"

Cassian seemed deeply offended. "If anything, Nesta, you're the one that needs to think about how much you care about our daughter."

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, you're trying to keep this baby a secret. Don't you think she deserves a family?"

"Of course I do! That's why I told you!"

"Yeah, after forcing me not to tell my brothers or my High Lord and High Lady. Do you even understand how it makes me feel to have to lie to them about something like this?"

Nesta suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She should have known that the Inner Circle was his family, the one he cared about more than anything — including the baby.

"If you want to stop lying," her voice was frighteningly quiet, "and your family is the most important thing to you, then fine."

"What?"

"You want to stop sneaking around and hiding things right? Stop lying about why you're sleepless? Then fine," she raised her chin higher, swallowing the urge to cry. "Just stop." She shrugged. "There's no need for you to come to appointments with me if you don't want to. I can find a way to get everything I need to prepare for her, and I can raise her on my own for a while."

Cassian blinked slowly.

"You can meet her when she's older," Nesta continued. "I know that you probably want to be with her as soon as she's born, but you can't take her away from me that quickly because she does need to be fed by me. And babies also calm down when they hear their mother's heartbeat."

She didn't want to be saying this. But if Cassian couldn't keep compromising himself as an honorable male, if these lies were tearing him up inside, then she'd let him go along with her hopes of giving her daughter a proper family with parents.

"I'd obviously want her to spend half her time with me while she's growing up, but if that's not-" Nesta gulped, her unfeeling mask slipping due to lack of use. "I want to see her sometimes."

"Nesta," Cassian's voice was too soft. "I'm not going to take her away from you. And yes, I hate lying to my family, and yes, they are important to me. But right now, our daughter is more important. Sure, I'm worried about the millions of dangers out there in the world that could hurt her and the millions of ways I could screw up as a parent, but that doesn't mean I'd want to miss any part of raising her."

Nesta debated revealing her own worries, but decided to say, "I'm sure you'll be an amazing parent. Why are you so worried? I mean, you're almost 600 years old."

"Still closer to 500, Nes. And besides, why does age matter?" Cassian asked, smiling.

"I mean, surely you've had children before?"

Cassian shook his head. "Fae children are very rare. I've never, ah, been in a situation where I was trying to have a child, either, so," Cassian rubbed the back of his neck. His ears were pink.

"I see," she replied. She now felt foolish for assuming his age meant he had experience in that area.

Cassian cleared his throat. "Nes, about what you said earlier," he began. Nesta suppressed the urge to sigh. She didn't want to revisit their argument.

She decided to interject, "Don't call me Nes."

He continued, unphased, "I wanted to thank you for telling me."

Oh. Nesta just looked away and nodded. I wanted my child to have a father. And you deserved to know.

"And I wanted to let you know that I also want to be- I mean, I also want our daughter to have a family."

Nesta really did not want to restart the debate about telling the Inner Circle. "Cassian-"

"I mean us. I want us to raise her together."

Nesta smiled slightly. "Me too."

Cassian's eyes were warm. After a moment, he looked around.

"Are you planning on raising her here?" His voice was free of judgement.

"I could, but I was hoping to maybe move somewhere close by that's a little bit bigger," she replied.

Cassian asked hesitantly, "Would you be interested in buying a house with me? So that we could live together with the baby?"

Nesta blinked. "Wouldn't your family notice if you no longer slept in their house?"

"I have my own apartment," he explained. "I stay there sometimes. It's not big enough, though."

Nesta nodded slowly. "Sure."

Cass grinned. "Okay, let's add house shopping to the long list of things we need to do."

Nesta let an amused expression linger on her face.

After a few moments, she rolled her shoulder and straightened her posture.

"So for today, I was thinking that we could visit some of these stores," Nesta said, pointing to a list Khoniya had made for her. "These ones sell baby clothing, these sell pacifiers and blankets and such items, apparently."

Cassian just nodded.

Once outside, she wrapped her arms around him and they shot into the air.


Nesta's jaw dropped.

"Told you it was big," Brielle whispered.

"Yeah but I didn't think you meant this huge," Nesta replied at the same volume.

Khoniya blushed slightly and cleared her throat. "We'll eat in the regular dining room, if that's okay with you two."

They nodded.

They had decided to have the weekly dinner at Khoniya's house this week, because Elian had to work late and it was easier for Khoniya to just put Yaran to bed and stay home.

Brielle had informed her that Khoniya and Elian lived in a large house, but she had not expected the house to be this grand.

From what Nesta could tell, it had at least 12 bedrooms, 14 bathrooms, 3 studies, a large kitchen and pantry, a formal living room, an informal living room, a formal dining room, an informal dining room, a parlor, a deck, a playroom and a basement. She was sure there were more rooms that she had not noticed.

"Do you mind my asking why you chose this house?" Nesta said, as the three of them sat down at the table and began digging into the food Brielle had brought (Khoniya had also contributed a few dishes, leaving Nesta feeling slightly guilty, but they'd both reassured her that it was fine).

Khoniya sighed. "This house used to belong to Elian's family. His paternal grandfather first lived here with his grandmother, and they had three daughters and two sons. They were very wealthy, as I'm sure you can tell, and they had some maids. They also needed guest bedrooms for the illustrious guests that often stopped by their home. After his grandfather passed away during the War about 500 years ago, Elian's father and mother lived here, with their children of course. Since there was no need for so many bedrooms, they let one of Elian's father's sister, who was not yet mated, live with them as well. They still used all these fancy dining rooms and parlors and all that. When Elian's father died, about 100 years ago, the house belonged to him, as the oldest son. His two sisters already lived with their lovers — one in the outskirts Velaris, the other in the mountains south of Velaris — and his younger brother already lived in his own apartment, but his mother still lived here. To be quite honest, we would have been fine living in an apartment, but his family insisted we live here, since his father left it to him."

Khoniya looked down at her plate. "Elian invited his mother to continue living here but she didn't approve of our relationship and did not want to live with us. So now we live here in this huge house, but we only use a fraction of it. It's a waste, really."

"Well, it's a gorgeous house," Brielle said. "And it's really safe because of the gates, so that's good, right?"

"Yes, I suppose," Khoniya smiled. "It just seems wasteful. I grew up with barely enough, and now I live in a house — a mansion, really — that is the definition of excess. It just doesn't feel right, sometimes."

"I understand," Nesta nodded. "My two sisters and I used to share one bed when we were younger and now she has, like, four houses and dresses in invaluable jewelry and fabrics. It's fine, I'm happy for her, but it just doesn't feel right forgetting where you came from, you know? I'm glad we have enough to eat now, but that doesn't mean everyone does, and it feels wrong to sit at a mahogany table, draped in the finest silks and jewels, being served far too much food by maids."

Khoniya nodded. "I try not to judge others, and I don't know your sister. Maybe she really does enjoy that luxury lifestyle," she said. "But for me, living in luxury makes me feel like a fraud. I mean, this house is fine, because it belonged to the family of the male I love, but like- At the end of the day, even if I'm dressed in the latest fashion, I'm still going to be worried about people jeering at me or attacking me, telling me that I don't belong here, in the city of their dreams. In the end, no matter what costume I wear, or how much money I hide behind, I'm still a Lower fae from the Autumn Court."

"Does it happen often?" Nesta asked after a pause. "Do people often try to hurt you just for being you?"

Khoniya bit her lip. "These days, I try to hide my hair and ears, so it's not that noticeable. Usually, it's not that bad. Most people won't openly attack you. They'll just look at you weirdly, gossip about you, and make unpleasant remarks. I mean, it makes sense that they're very protective of Velaris — many fae died defending the city and of course, the High Lord gave up his freedom for almost half a century to protect it — but it's a little sad that they don't think I can have a place in their dream city. It's not just that they don't think my dreams are worth anything, it's that they don't even have a place for fae like me in their ideal city."

Silver lined Khoniya's eyes.

Brielle grasped one of Khoniya's hands. Nesta grabbed the other comfortingly.

"Khoniya, I know how difficult it can be. You know, you're the only reason why I was able to stay here and begin living my dream," Brielle said. "Sure, there are bigots and xenophobes and haters. But for the people that matter — for Elian, for Yaran — there's nothing in Velaris for them without you."

"For me, too. I don't think you two understand how much I value your friendship," Nesta said. "I have never really had real friends. And I don't belong in this world but- but when I'm here, I feel like maybe I can find my place." Maybe the infinite expanse of days and years before me could be something more than endless self-hatred and loneliness.


The bell clinked as the last customer exited the shop.

Brielle and Nesta slumped to the floor. Today had been a long day, full of irritating customers and having to explain that no, the prices were not up for debate and no, they were not doing to stop selling orange mobiles just because it 'hurt to look at' due to its color.

There had been far too much need to explain that yes, all customers had to wait in line, even the ones that were busy. No, the candy was not complimentary, that's why they put a price on it.

Really, the only good thing about their day was that Khoniya had stopped by at the end of the day. She'd taken one look at their exhausted faces and declared that they were going to go eat out tonight as her treat.

"Do you guys want me to help close up?" Khoniya asked.

Brielle sighed dramatically before getting up. "It's fine." She reached out a hand and helped Nesta to her feet. "Let's just lock up."

Khoniya assigned herself to clean up duty, and mopped the floor.

As Brielle wrote in her accounting book and Nesta organized the scarves, the former mentioned, "Oh, yeah. I ordered some of the books you suggested."

"Do you have any suggestions? I know a lot of mine were human authors," Nesta replied.

"Yeah, I also ordered a few of my favorites. But I think also having human authored books will make our bookshop unique, don't you think?"

"That's true. Although if some avid readers adore popular fae authors, we should have some in stock."

"Are you guys done?" Khoniya called. The floor practically sparkled with cleanliness.

"Almost!"

"So, any ideas on what you're going to name your daughter?" Khoniya asked as they walked down the street.

"A few, but we haven't decided yet."

"Might I suggest the name Brielle? It's delightful and it will remind you of your amazing colleague," Brielle joked.

"No, I couldn't tolerate that many Brielles in my life," Nesta replied, smirking.

"Hey!"

They all laughed. Their chuckles seemed to be amplified by the narrow walls of the street they were on, and their joy seeped into the air.

Their laughter was suddenly cut short as something cold pressed against each of their throats — a knife.


A/N:

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