All of the office of IMP decided to accompany Coco to Pentagram City and check out the Happy Hotel. While Coco was not against this, she was a little confused by the directions. Because in real life, the Hotel… looked not at all like a hotel.
"This looks like an illegal sweat shop," Coco said while actually sweating.
It was about 100 degrees Fahrenheit in the shade as Coco had discovered Hell has incredibly hot
and humid weather. She was looking up at what was supposed to be the Happy Hotel but was instead advertised as the Hazbin Hotel.
"Did they change the name?"
"Not to my info," Blitzo said, same smile on as he also looked up at the towering building and sign before looking back down okay. "Okay! So how about we check out the check in?"
"Terrible pun, sir," Moxxy responded.
"Wait, are we sure this is right!?" Coco asked, incredibly uncomfortable while looking at the building that was still far too sketchy to be hopeful. "Like, is this the right address? Is this the right the hotel? Is this safe? Is it… legal? Like, closest version of legal that exists in Hell?"
While the Happy Hotel had been the prominent thought and hope in Cocos' mind since yesterday, actually standing in front of it was making her nervous. It was like standing in front of the airport before your plane takes off. You're not sure exactly what you're doing and going through security and walking through the giant building seemed more uncomfortable than actually getting on the place.
The biggest thing that seemed to stop her was the fact that the hotel… did not look like a hotel. It was a huge, multi-story building that seemed to have more styles and dimensions of other buildings than one set design. The outside of the hotel looked more like an old abandoned factory had been renovated into a department store, and after that failed they did some quick changes to make it into apartments-turned a hotel. There were large, multi-colored windows like old glass factories that looked like they let in a lot of light and kept out heat. The hotel was surrounded by shrubs and trees, all of which looked ominous and shifty but provided a fair amount of shade and cooling.
And there was… an ominous giant fucking hole in the ground about half a mile away from the front that looked like it went down to the core of whatever is under hell. It also ruined the semi-pleasant walkway and served as a very questionable thing as: Why the fuck is there a giant crater on the front lawn?
So it wasn't that the place look unpleasant, just that… it looked sketch as shit.
'It doesn't even look like a hostel,' Coco remembered her short stint working at a youth hostel in Europe and tried to get rid of the ill feelings about the Hazbin Hotel. If this is what it was, she'd have to accept it, and it accept it right now. 'Anything's better than sleeping in the office again. Or standing outside here in Hell for another minute…'
Other than the heat, Hell's smell was like rotting bodies, sweat, old food and shit mixed together. Enough to make you become sick by just breathing it. The air was heavy like smog and it was oppressively hot. Coco had started sweating after two minutes of standing outside and she could already feel her lungs starting to have trouble.
"Think you need some air conditioning, Coco." Milly said, patting Cocos' shoulder and checking to see if she was alright. She noticed how Coco was starting to look a little sick and made a concerned face, turning to the others. "She's not used being in the outside for this long; we should take her in somewhere quick."
"She looks like she's gonna hurl," Luna commented, momentarily looking up from her phone and raising an eyebrow at Coco. "How are you gonna make it on your own if just stepping outside kills you?"
"I didn't know it was this bad…" Coco covered her mouth and coughed for a moment. She took a mental note to get a face mask and a parasol or something to keep the burning red sky off of her skin, actually glad to be sweating under the long jacket Blizto lent her.
"Now you know why we all dress up like this," Blitzo said, demonstrating his fashion and using his tail to pull Coco along towards the hotel. "Well, let's just take a look in here for a moment! If this place looks legit, then we can negotiate and come up with a plan! If not, then we can fuck around and waste more of our paid office hours."
"Can we please focus on housing the human for an hour, sir?" Moxxy complained, looking lightly worried about how Coco was definitely not suited to staying outside in the day-time for very long. "If she even lives that long."
"Thanks for the moral support, Mox," Coco managed to quip briskly as the walked up the short steps to the front door. She sipped her forehead off with her sleeve and then held it there to block off the red glare from her face. "As long as I can live inside somewhere, I think I can work on ways of going outside alone later…"
With the notion of her minimum standards for comfort in mind, the five of them walked up as Blitzo rang the door bell and waited for somebody to answer it. Only, nobody was coming. Which was weird because there were a set of double doors with church-like stained glass as decoration. They were pretty sure someone was supposed to answer it.
Blitzo looked confused and proceeded to ring it an excessive amount of times before Moxxy started knocking on it quickly. All of them looked in different amounts of distress as none of them could figure out why nobody was answering.
"Maybe it's abandoned?" Coco questioned, starting to feel herself pant a little from the heavy, humid air.
"It doesn't look like it," Milly said, looking up at the upper levels of the hotel and determining that there was definitely something living in there.
"Maybe they went out for some coffee?" Moxxy proposed, scratching his chin a little.
"Really? The whole hotel all went out for coffee at the same time?" Blitzo sarcastically questioned while rolling his eyes. "Are you really that fucking stupid."
"Well at least I'm trying!" Moxxy shouted, going ahead and knocking on the door aggressively again while glaring at it. "Grr. What is taking them so long!?"
"Is it even open?" Coco asked again, panting a little heavier and starting to lean over from the heat and pressure. "I mean, aren't hotels supposed to have unlocked doors during operating hours? Maybe… we should… just… sit down and-"
"Sweetie, if you sit down you might just have a heart attack," Milly warned, then looking up at the others in a panic. "We really should go inside somewhere now! Either here or somewhere else, she ain't gonna last out here much long-"
Entirely irritated by this and also wanting some AC, Luna just walked over and actually kicked open the front door with one leg. Luckily not breaking anything, the door swung open to the main lobby that was dark and had a pleasant breeze inside.
Everyone stopped and stared over at Luna, all a little intimidated by the random act of property destruction that they were now witnesses of.
"What?" Luna looked over and rolled her eyes, putting her hand on her hip and giving a minor glare. "You said you wanted in, so I got us in!"
"We need to work on our communication skills, Luna." Blitzo said diplomatically, holding up his hands in a prayer like manner before letting out a breath and smiling like he was trying to give constructive advice but being very timid while doing so. "It seems you don't… Take directions in a positive manner."
"You need to work on her anger management skills first," Moxxy complained, now patting Cocos' back and leading her inside. "But, at least we've got some shelter for the human now. Can we please continue this stupid endeavor to house the human before she dies on us?"
"Good plan, sweetie," Milly said, walking inside with an upbeat attitude and cheery smile. "This is gonna be great! Aren't you excited, Coco?"
"I'm gonna barf…" Coco told herself while trying to get over the nerves and possible cancer she just contracted from the air.
While tense and nervous while walking inside, most of those tremors disappeared once she felt the cool, clean air of inside hotel. She stood still for a moment and took in a deep breath, enjoying the fact that this actually was the most clean air she's smelt since landing here.
When she stood up straight again and looked around, Coco noticed that the lighting in the place was off. No, literally. All of the lights were off. Which was strange for a hotel but was also kind of pleasant, all of the red lights from Hells' over saturated sky were completely dulled out and instead just had sharp, vibrant colors from the stained glass flooding the area. There were lots of patterns of apples and other motifs that reminded her of church windows, but all of the were actually strangely pleasant. The floors were made of dark hard wood that creaked underfoot, the walls were plastered with deep colored fine wallpaper that reminded her of old southern homes. And the few pieces of furniture she saw around was a mixture of classic style and some new pieces that were put in for function.
All and all… it was pretty abandoned. Yep. Pretty and abandoned.
"Where is everybody?" Coco asked, looking around and still seeing no signs of… afterlife.
"Maybe they all died?" Blitzo suggested before Coco stomped on his tail. "OW! Okay! That was a dumb joke!"
"How is dying a joke?" Coco asked irritated.
"You're just not nuanced enough for it," Blitzo waved off.
"There's gotta be somebody around," Moxxy said, walking in farther and looking around. "This place is too nice to just leave."
"You call this nice?" Luna said, looking at a really nice, creepy oil painting and some cobwebs. "Looks like some spoiled brat set up a play castle and has her nanny clean up when she's taking a nap."
"Is that a metaphor or a fact?" Milly wondered aloud, also looking around and seeing strange signs of both nice and probably contaminated.
"Both?" Blitzo suggested, then turned to look at Coco again. "Figure this place might be good if there's people, probably haunted if there's not. You wanna burn this place down in the mean time?"
"If demons live here, isn't it already haunted?" Coco said, pointing out his logistical errors while looking around.
"Ugh, you and your semantics!" Blitzo joyfully complained and walked ahead. "You ruin all of the fun."
"Good," Coco stated, following behind and feeling more moral with her increasing health stamina. "You're a murderer. You deserve no fun."
"You sound like my kindergarten teacher," Blitzo bickered, opening up a door and stopping.
Everyone stopped and looked at Blitzo, then all went over and looked over his shoulder at the scene in front.
"This place looks like shit!" Shouted a tall, grey-toned girl with annoyingly long white hair wearing an eye patch. She looked like she was made of sharp edges as she yelled and bared sharp teeth at an assortment of stranger looking demons in the room. "If you all could fucking learn how to pick up after yourselves then this hotel wouldn't be falling apart half of the time! We're trying to run a business here! Not keep some kind of, garbage squaters' room cleaning business!"
"This place is a piece of shit," a sort of weird cat-wolf-bird mixed demon with long eye brows said ambivantely, like he had pointed out something obvious and obviously didn't care. He emphasized this by taking a drag from an unlabeled bottle while not breaking eye contact.
"You. Shut. Up." The same girl hissed, pointing at him with a sharp warning murder finger. "And learn how to keep your fucking bottles from falling over! It's a fire hazard!"
"Hell's a fire hazard, baby," said a tall, pink and white demon that was strangely… fluffy. They were rolling their eyes all at once while leaning back against a support beam with a wiggle and crossing all four of their arms as well. "Maybe 'ya outta figure out a way to keep this piece of shit more presentable. You know, for "business" relations anyway, hehe~"
"Oh. I already know the best way to do that…" She said, her head turning in a strange mechanical tilt as she held up a threatening claw, already getting ready to threaten to or actually tear off a set of the other demons' limbs. "Why don't we kick out the most annoying, trashiest piece of shit here and watch this place actually become a rehabilitation center! I swear to God you overgrown dick piece, if I see you drag in another disgusting "work related" incident into my workplace, I will personally tear you apart and-!-"
"N-Now now, Vaggie!" Popped out the smaller, blond demon that Coco had seen on the computer last night! Even though she looked panicked stricken and tense, her cheeks were still rosy and she still had a little bounce to her movements. "Leeet's not get too "intense" here, haha! I-I'm sure everyone can understand our problems, a-and all we need to do is set down some basic house keeping rules to make this place more livable!"
"Hey, we already got a house keeper," the spider-like one said, gesturing with one of their hands behind them to apparently someone else. "How's this mess our problem?"
"IT IS A BIG PROBLEM!" Said a loud… tiny… pink… cyclops… thing. The thing was small, cute, and possibly more demonic than her appearance let on. "Do you know how many germs are running around in here? Every minute. A second. Microcosms of little disgusting creatures are running all around here, eating everything in sight and turning this echoing chamber of Hell into a disgusting mosh pit! So tiny. So disgusting…"
"That's not a very nice way to talk about your family, pipsqueak," the spider said with a giggle and smirking.
Everyone was still standing a safe distance away while watching this strange performance It was then everyone realized why they hadn't seen anyone yet: Everyone was here and yelling at each other.
"Bright side," Moxxy whispered, starting in a little timid but willing to sell this place to her. "Sound proofing walls and doors."
"Down side," Coco continued, watching this mess while internally screaming because there are more demons here than she's comfortable. Namely, more than one. "Everyone obviously hates each other and wants to murder one another…."
"Common roommate situation," Milly defended, also trying to be diplomatic. "At least they don't have any weapons!"
"That we know of," Luna commented, looking on interestedly to see who would go at whom's neck first. "You know, this place does seem so "Happy" to me."
"Shhhhh!" Blitzo swatted at the others behind him and he leaned in intensely, taking in every moment of this. "The drama's starting again!"
It wasn't long before the show continued.
"You can take your snobby ass, lip treatment attitude and shove it up your ass with the rest of the shit I don't care about!" The girl with long hair yelled at the tall white and pinked stripped demon. She seemed to be getting more and intense as this debate went on. "It's bad enough with them here, but I don't need YOU brining down the hotel to an even lower level! This isn't some kind of brothel you get to run in and out of!"
"Oh, really sweet cheeks?" The tall one said, leaning down and crossing their arms over their fluffy chest and grinning. Winking their one black eye while rolling the other. "Because, last time I checked, I was your only client! AND! Your most high profile one at that. So maybe ya outta think about treating your guests with a little more class~"
"Reeeaaaaaaalllly," she said sarcastically, the bow on top of her head becoming pointer. "Because, last time I checked, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE US A FUCKING LAUGHING STOCK ALL OVER HELL!"
"Hey hey hey!" Charlie said, reinserting herself between the two of them to try to force this to a stop! "Now listen! We are not going to fight inside the hotel! This place is a safe place for rehabilitating sinners and I need you two to calm your asses down so we can get on with the fucking healing!"
"Wasn't too much the pansys' fault," the cat demon commented, also smirking lightly. "You were already a laughing stock to begin with."
"Husk," Charlie said, her voice tense as she mechanically turned over to the demon with a crazed smile that showed how close she was to losing it. "As an employee of the Happy Hotel, I would advice you not to say or do anything that I will come to regret doing later…"
"Yeah! Listen to her!" The little demon said, bopping over to stand next to Charlie and gesture all around her. "She can't help that this filthy place is falling all around her! Or that we're the laughing stock of the entire Pentagram City because nobody cares or believes in this place!"
"…" One of Charlies' eyes began twitching and she was surprising an urge to strange anything that was pink. "Thank you… for that.. Niffty…"
"Why don't you get lost you oversized hemorrhoid!" The long haired demon said, stepping over Charlie and growling at the little one before glaring at the other two as well. "UGH! Maybe if we didn't have so many INCOMPETENT people here! We'd actually have this hotel up and running like a normal place!"
"And maybe if this place wasn't so fucking boring then you'd actually have more clients," the tall one said, walking a few steps over and dipping their head down and up in one swoop, using one hand to mess with their hair a bit. "I mean, this place is the fucking worst! There's nothing to do, nothing to see, no one to bother. Fuck! I'd shoot myself if I didn't have anything better to do then work!"
"I can arrange that…" The long haired one threatened…
While watching this, Coco started to sink into the feeling that her best option, this hotel, was probably just another terrible thing in Hell. And she was currently wondering how she could sneak out and escape again…
It seemed to be less of a "hotel for sinners just passing through" and more of a rehabilitation center with dealers put directly inside. There was obviously anger management issues, manic personalities, addicts and a lot of violence thrown into the mix. It probably didn't make for a pleasant living situation for anyone at all.
'Am I just doomed to be around people who murder and curse each other for fun?!' Coco seriously wondered, holding up her wrist and looking down at the Moral Compass. 'I'm afraid to ask for any advice right now…'
Charlie had been in the middle of this argument for 20 minutes and she was starting to lose the edge of her nice self. Just as she was about to sit on the cusp of murder, Charlie turned her head and noticed three imps, one werewolf and a strange looking girl-demon standing in the doorway outside of the room.
When Charlie looked over, everyone else seemed to turn and notice something much more interesting near the room. Namely: New people.
"… Did we come at a bad time?" Blitzo asked, feeling awkward he got caught enjoying the fight.
"… Oh dear," Coco said, looking up over at Blitzo. "M-Maybe this was a bad idea…."
After several seconds of uncomfortable silence, Blitzo grinned and straitened his tie to begin selling himself to this complete bunch of lunatics.
"Hello, fellow damned and irredeemable assholes!" Blitzo said overly cheerfully, making Coco squirm even more as he walked over with a wave and the rest of IMP following him. "My name's Blitzo, the owner of I.M.P., maybe you're familiar with some of my work? Business and artist related~"
"Never heard of ya'," the tall white-pink demon said, leaning against a pole and looking on expectantly. Very amused and ready for some entertainment. "What are ya', some kinda clown company?"
"You're one to talk," both Luna and the long haired girl said, rolling their eyes.
"Angle!" Charlie hissed at the tall demon quickly before turning around and flashing her big brown eyes. She seemed to change on a dime and feature a much brighter, more innocent look. "WELCOME! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! Are you all interested in hearing more about our rehabilitation program?"
Coco stood back for a moment and watched at how hopeful and sweet the innocent blond demon looked as she stared up encouragingly at the imps. And immediately felt bad for her because… she was completely wrong.
'Maybe he'll let down gently?' Coco hoped.
"Oh. No no no," Blitzo smiled holding out both hands and then placing one on Charlies' shoulder in a consoling manner. "Not me. This is all stupid and I love my life!"
'I guess that's a version of gentle,' Coco thought slapping her own face and internal groaning. 'Did I really expect anything better…'
Charlies' smile seemed to drop its brightness but remained there, reminding everyone of a broken child. As if on cue, the long haired girl walked up and swatted away Blitzos' hand and stood beside her, giving him and the others a critical look.
"Then who-" the long haired girl started, about to go into a tirade before Blitzo stopped her.
Blitzo held up a finger before taking one step back and reaching for Coco in one fell swoop.
"Here~!" Blitzo pulled over Coco and hugged her to him while smiling at Charlie. "It's this cutie here I'm asking you to lock up and and put a pretty smile on."
At that, all eyes fell on the small tanned girl that the tall imp had brought in. To them, she looked unimpressive and probably not worth mentioning. Coco just stood there uncomfortably as she felt sweat start to drip on the back of her neck.
"Go ahead and introduce yourself, sweetie," Blitzo said, pushing Coco forward like you would push a kid into a pool.
"Ummmm," Coco caught herself before falling forward and stood in front of the two demon girls. It was an overly imposing situation where she both saw and felt everyones' eyes drop on her and judge her. She swore this would have been the single most scariest thing that's ever happened if she hadn't just been kidnapped a few days ago. "H-Hello, I-I'm…. My name's uh Co-Coachella. But call me Coco…"
Not the best introduction but what can you expect when you're surrounded by demons judging your entire existence.
But the only one who didn't seem to be judging Coco was Charlie. Instead, she smiled and stepped over, taking one of her hands into both of hers and giving her a warm introduction.
"Well, hello there!" Charlie said brightly, smiling and showing a row of fanged teeth that seemed to be less threatening when matched with her rose cheeks and grateful smile. "And welcome to the Happy Hotel! My name's Charlie, and I'm here to make your stay in Hell as short and happy as possible!"
While the others in the background seemed to groan and shake their heads, Coco just stood there and smiled. This was the warmest and kindest thing anyone has said to her since she got here! And Charlie just seemed to bounce with enthusiasm and excitement!
'Is she really a demon?' Coco wondered looking at Charlie fondly and starting to flush a little. 'She seems' like a human like me!'
Before Coco could say anything, the small pink demon from before seemed to butt in-between them and focus all of her attention on Coco. It was strange how something that only came up to her hip seemed to overpower and completely unnerve Coco. But maybe that was from the one yellow eye and the two rows of many sharp teeth…
"Hi! I'm Niffty!" She exclaimed excitedly while continuing on with some sort of super examination of Coco. Staring her up and down, examining her nails, ponytail, clothes and overall self. "Wow! You sure do look neat. Are you a neat person? I bet you're pretty neat. You seem interesting. Oh! Look at you! You still have all of your human features! Wow!"
As Niffty took a full body examination of the new girl, Coco sort of felt… frozen with fear. It's been awhile since she's been surrounded by… so many demons. And Niffty's excessive excitement was sort of really creepy and irritating.
It didn't help that she didn't stop with the intense questioning, not breaking for a moment to give time for Coco to understand or even take a breath.
"How long have you been here?" Niffty asked, continuing with the run around and starting to pick at things on Coco. "Why are you wearing a men's suit? Not that it's a bad thing! Oh, I see it doesn't fit you very well. Unless that's the style you're going for-"
Niffty didn't stop until Charlie took her by the shoulders and started pulling Niffty away from the new girl. She felt overtly sorry for her about Nifftys' invasive personality.
"Now Niffty," Charlie said, starting to drag her away from Coco in an attempt to keep the poor girl from crying. "Th-That's not how we treat a guest in our hotel! This a solemn place of healing and no judgement! Try not to scare them away before they even get to check in counter…"
"Speaking of which," Moxxy said, walking up next to Coco and looking around the room. He realized he couldn't find anything that made this place resemble an actual hotel. "Where is your check in desk?"
At that, the long haired demon girl pointed over the large… bar area. Over there, the tall white and pink demon was leaning against a beam while the wolf-cat demon sat there with his head held in his hand. The cat demon had a sort of vacant stare like he didn't want to be there and wanted everyone else to be there even less.
The cat just looked over at Coco and the others and chose to care even less, taking up a bottle he'd been nursing and beginning to drink.
"Ah don't bother," he said, acting like that was the end of the conversation.
"Isn't this place supposed to discourage sin?" Moxxy asked, looking fully confused.
"Doesn't mean it supports sobriety." Blitzo offered.
Coco chose not to think too hard on that one. Instead, she ended up looking over and staring at the taller demon. They had a long, pretty figure with fluffy white hair and an interesting color pattern of white and pink. She kept looking over at their eyes, a strange kind of heterochromia that were really interesting. She also couldn't quiet figure out if this very feminine demon was actually a girl or not…
After a minute, the same white and pink demon looked over and caught Coco staring at them. Instead of getting angry or confused, they just sort of grinned and let one set of arms uncross while looking over at Coco.
"See somethin' you like?" They said in a hummed voice, giving a smirk over to Coco.
"!" Coco quickly turned her head away and blushed with an embarrassed grin. "Sorry…"
"Oh~~~ A shy one?" They chuckled, enjoying the authentic tease they could get out of this. "Heh heh, fun."
"Don't scare the new girl away, Angle!" Charlie called back before looking over her shoulder and smiling at Coco again. "L-Let Vaggie help you settle in! She's the best person around!"
Coco looked confused, before the girl with long white hair walked up at her. She crossed her arms and gave Coco a light glare, something that was even more intimidating to see when you noticed the eye patch.
"So why exactly did you wanna come here?" Vaggie asked, skipping the introductions and going straight into the interrogation. "Because, don't let those assholes fool you, we're actually serious about what we do here."
"Uh…" Coco stumbled trying to look for the right answer, looking nervous as she realized Vaggie might actually be the most dangerous one here. "Well, you see, everywhere in Hell is kind of… In Hell?"
"And?" Vaggie asked, wondering why she was stating the obvious.
"W-Well I-," Coco looked off and felt very embarrassed now. Wasn't not wanting to stay outside in Hell a good enough reason?
Blitzo and the others seemed to pick up on this indecisiveness and decided to take action. Whether that be a good thing or not…
"Hey! What's with the 3rd degree here?" Milly asked, stepping right next to Coco and putting her hand on her shoulder to defend the girl. "I thought this was a hotel! Not some kind of police station."
"Yeah," Moxxy agreed, standing next to Milly. "Who cares why she's here? You obviously need the clientele."
"Guys…" Coco said, uneasy about how this was progressing.
"Hey! Does this look like some kind of halfway house to you?" Vaggie started, looking annoyed at the others.
"You want the nice answer or the honest answer?" Blitzo said, smirking as he came over and uncomfortably rested an elbow on Cocos' shoulder. "Look, I've got a perfectly mostly harmless idiot here who want a place to stay! She'll work with me during the day and sleep here at night, nice deal!"
"Mostly harmless idiot…?" Coco asked, looking semi-insulted.
Sensing an oncoming problem, everyone else in the room took their positions. Charlie ran up next to Vaggie to act as a mediator, Husk leaned back in his place for a better position, Angle moved closer to look over shoulders and laugh, and Niffty just decided to stand in front of Coco and look up at her because she thinks she's pretty.
'Oh no…' Coco realized this was bad.
"You can't just throw her in here because she can't take care of herself!" Vaggie yelled up at Blitzo, deciding to take out most of aggression on him. "This isn't just some pit stop you can throw people you don't want living in your office anymore!"
"Excuse you!" Blitzo said, gesturing to everyone in the group, taking it personally and getting defensive. "But we value all of our useless staff!"
"What we mean is-" Charlie started, holding her hands up to keep a fight from breaking out. "This isn't just some place you get to stay in rent free and do whatever you want outside in!"
"It's not?" Angle asked, legit confused.
"This is a place of redemption!" Charlie yelled, looking at Angle and then at the rest of IMP. "I'm sorry but, if you can't follow our ideas or are willing to change then we can't keep you here. Everyone here is trying their best to change into better demons, to seek forgiveness!"
"Uh, you mean ALL of your residents are following these ideas of "redemption"." Moxxy said, putting it in quotation marks as he looked around. "Seems like this place needs a lot of work to even appear "redeemable"."
"Don't put quotation marks around our trademark!" Vaggie yelled directly at Moxxy.
"We… encourage everyone to follow our redemption path and understand if that they need more time or adjustment." Charlie said, searching her mind for excuses while also looking around and knowing she can't excuse much. "But! We fully believe in our cause and believe in everyone who comes through! Everyone deserves redemption!"
"Does whoring yourself out in Imp City one of those redemption targets?" Blitzo sarcastically taunted, pointing at the tall one called Angle.
"Hey!" Angle Dust pointed at Blitzo with a sharp finger. "I don't see you complain' you over priced cock tease. Has anyone ever complained about my services?"
"Maybe not services," Blitzo mocked, leaning back and crossing his arms while giving a side eye. "Mostly about the itchiness and burning afterwards."
"Oh, like you know how to run a business!" Angle shouted, about to get nasty but then straightened their back and started rubbing a pair of fingers together. "Then again, I guess it's easy to judge the clientele when most of your "business connections" only meet at night~"
Coco watched as this spiraled into a long, back and forth argument where the original problem was forgotten and now people were mostly spewing insults at one another. It was bad enough that she was surrounded by demons, but now she was surrounded by demons who were threatening each other and it was extremely uncomfortable!
Coco didn't know what was worse, the screaming all around her that was caused by her, or the fact that Niffty is still looking up at her with childlike wonder.
"And why does she even need to stay here?" Vaggie asked, now finally gesturing to Coco to bring her back into the conversation (or extend the insults and threats to her). "If you all have an office then you can house her in your own shit hole!"
"We actually can't house her in our shit holes," Blitzo started, standing up straight and crossing his arms. "I'm afraid she has a "special condition" that I'm not required to specify and you're required to accept!"
"Uh, we under no obligations to cater to your insanity!" Vaggie screamed out.
"What she means is," Charlie held Vaggie back and looked up at IMP in a futile attempt to be understanding. "We can't take in special cases unless they involve some kind of redemption."
"We're not a charity," Vaggie emphasized.
"You're not?" Coco asked, kind of confused.
"Do we look warm and cuddly to you?" Angle asked, smirking at Coco.
"I mean… some of you do?"
"We can be understanding though," Charlie said, putting on her warm smile again. "So, what is the reason you actually want to be here?"
Oh boy, they were back to this again. Everyone in IMP looked at each other nervously as they tried to find the best lie that could be disguised as an actual good hearted reason.
The funny thing is, none of them know how to be kind or good hearted.
"She needs this place for, well, uh, reasons…" Moxxy started, trying to pull something together.
"For uh," Milly also tried to improvise. "Health reasons and uh…"
"Medical condition?" Blitzo offered, also trying to expand upon this. "An, uh, incurable condition that uh, effects daily living and uh-"
"What?" Angle asked, getting annoyed at their obvious attempt to pull together a lie. "She got diphtheria or somethin'?"
"She's retarded," Luna said bluntly.
"AM NOT!" Coco yelled at her.
"What she means is!" Moxxy jumped in, now looking more panicked. "She uh, has um, a kind of special condition that applies to her… self."
"Like a personality… body disorder!" Milly offered, now wondering if she made things worse. "And it's tied to her… uh… state of being?"
"It's a religious thing!" Blitzo blurted out, now looking uncomfortable. "She uh… has a condition… caused by religion… and we can't… keep her at our office because we are too tolerant?"
This sad, pathetic display of lying was so annoying that even Coco was becoming more and more bothered bu it. It was enough that these guys were probably ruining any chance for her to live here, but they were doing a terrible job at explaining why!
'Fuck it,' was all Coco could think by this point. 'Might as well drop the last shoe.'
With that, Coco walked a few steps away from the group and whistled to get everyones' attention. Once everyone turned to look at her, Coco proceeded to take off the X wrist bands, let down her hair and finally, take off the horns head band.
Everyone stood there and stared at Coco for a minute, their minds processing, until somebody pointed out the obvious.
"That," Angle said, using one set of hands to point over at Coco with their eyes wide opened. "Is a human…"
And with that, everyone started freaking out.
"You brought a fucking human here!?" Vaggie yelled at IMP, looking back and forth between them and Coco with more panic than anger. "And then you brought her here? To us!?"
"Oh jeez…" Charlie stood stark still staring at Coco as her own panic started taking over. Knowing all of the unforeseen consequences that can happen from this. "A human… Here… In the hotel… Full of demons… Possibly an innocent being…"
"Right!" Moxxy said, intercepting quickly to try and deescalate the situation. "She's innocent! Free from sin! Perfect for this place!"
"We can't take a human." Vaggie said, flat out with no inflection. "It's not possible."
"Why the hell not!" Milly yelled, now also looking more panicked. "There's nothing wrong with her! We've kept her washed and fed, she won't break anything… maybe!"
"Do you not see the problems with keeping a human here!?" Vaggie yelled at them, gesturing to Coco before groaning. "Fuck! Where did you even get her from? Why did you even keep her!?"
"I'm not a dog…" Coco growled lightly under her breath, knowing full and well no one was listening to her still.
"We can't keep a human here," Charlie agreed, looking on at IMP with polite difference but obvious worry. "She could get hurt or accidentally cause a huge problem just from being here! There's liability issues, morality issues, fuck, probably some kind of legal-demon-heaven-Earth issues that I'm not even thinking of!"
"Not to mention she'll be fucking annoying," Angle said, rolling their eyes and crossing their hands over their chests while using one hand to count off reason they didn't want her. "Always whining and complaining like all humans do. No fun. Have to be careful around them so you don't break them."
"She'll fucking stink up the place," Husk growled out, also voicing his opinion. "Ain't no way any of us are gonna stay secret or quiet if somebody smells a fucking human in here!"
"Do you know how much trouble we'll be in for housing a human?" Vaggie said, gesturing to the outside as if all eyes were watching them. "We'll end up causing some kind of inter society turf war over possession of a live human! The answer is no!"
"Oh like we're not worried about that at all?!" Blitzo stated, gesturing to the rest of them while glaring at the others. "We've already housed her for almost a week! Do you know how picky human living conditions are?"
"Look," Moxxy tried to bring this back into the realm of logic. "We've had her here in Hell and out in public for about a week now. Nobody has noticed she's a human and nobody will."
"But we can't put her back and she needs somewhere safe to sleep for the night," Milly put in, also hoping to convince them with an emotional plea.
"And you don't have to worry about any crazy human stuff," Blitzo promised, trying to sell them on her clean spirit. "She's already on the path to go to Heaven! She just needs a place where she won't get eaten or accidentally start taking drugs~"
Coco watched this argument spiral again into nonsense before she walked up to the bar, held out the cursed book, and slammed it onto the bar top.
BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!
Surprising everyone to make them stay quiet, Coco walked up and took center stage. She was nervous at first, knowing full and well these were all demons who did not have a good first impression of her, but she knew she had to make her case in order to get any kind of fair judgement!
"Look," Coco started, looking all around her at everyone and giving a tired smile. "I know I'm causing a huge problem just by being here. I didn't want to come here and nobody wants me here. I know that, and… I can't feel hurt just because you all don't want to get in trouble for keeping me somewhere. I know I've already made my friends and workmates really uncomfortable because they have to keep me a secret…"
Everyone at IMP looked at each other and gulped, feeling a bit sad and nervous as Coco began to talk. They realized none of them have actually really tried to make her feel welcomed or comfortable in Hell, mostly because it's not possible.
"But it's not their fault!" Coco pleaded, now turning to look over at Charlie and Vaggie, her eyes soft and sorrowful. Then remembered that wait a minute she's wrong. "Or well, I mean, it is their fault but… It's also my fault. I… I'm not here because anyone wants me here or because I want to be here. I'm here because of a curse. And… I have to stay here until it's broken."
"Curse?" Vaggie said, looking up at Coco carefully with interest. "What kind of curse?"
"This kind," Coco rolled up the sleeve of her shirt and showed the big curse mark of the seven circled double pentagram. "It's some kind of old curse, tied to a book from here. Anyway, I have to live here with the book and the only way we know it'll break is if I die. Which is not happening."
"Lame," Angle commented.
"I don't want to die…" Coco sort of rolled her eyes and looked up at them again. "And, I know you guys are supposed to only redeem demons but… I also need help being a good person."
At that, everyone looked baffled. While IMP knew she was on the right path, they were also confused what she meant by "being a good person". They figured she was already good enough!
"We really only take demons though," Charlie said, clarifying her vision and purpose. "You see, most demons here sort of just… live their after lives in sin. Never thinking they could change o-or make Hell a better place! That's why we're here! To change demons a-and also change Hell for the better. We can't just take in a human because you don't feel safe here…"
"But that's what I mean," Coco said, taking a few steps closer to Charlie. "I don't just want to stay here because I think it's safe. I want to stay here because I want to change! I want to be a good person!"
Charlie, Vaggie, Angle and Niffty all blinked their eyes (and eye) at that. Surprised and curious by what Coco meant when they knew she was supposed to already go to Heaven!
"Listen," Coco started, looking away nervously for a moment and holding her hands together in a prayer form. "I know… I'm not a great person. I'm closed minded, I have insecurity issues, an inferiority complex, and sometimes I eat peanut butter straight out of the jar and put it back like normal without telling anyone…"
"I knew it!" Moxxy shouted out justified.
"But I want to be better," Coco said, looking up with conviction. "I want to be a better person. Even if I'm a good person now, if I died I'd go to heaven, that doesn't mean I'm really a good person! It just means I didn't do anything horrible and I barely passed the bar for a decent person. I want to be the best person I can be! And… I believe this is the place that will change me!"
Coco held a hand to her heart and tried thinking about all the years she's felt she's spent "going with the flow" and noticed how none of them seemed to make her feel actually good. How each belief and thought was just something she had been told, not something she has decided was good or necessary.
How many years has she wasted just being told what to do and not thinking for herself?
"I've tried to change back home but I never knew how or where to start. I always thought I just had to try harder. Now, now I know I just need to be with people who also believe they can change and want to change! I want to find the parts of me that can be better and help myself! So… please. Will you help me become a better person?"
Coco stopped and looked up, her final plea was one that she hoped could challenge and interest Charlie all together: Help a human be a good person.
Vaggie and Angle both looked at Charlie with skepticism and trepidation. They knew they didn't have to tell Charlie about how stupid that idea sounded. A demon? Helping a human be good?! That went against every ideal and belief demons had altogether. And even if they had been human once, what human they had had been mostly lost and they weren't certain Charlie could offer anything more since she had never been a human.
But Charlie looked on and considered it. An actual human, someone who wants to change and was asking for help, was at her door? If it had been any other demon, wouldn't she welcome them in with open arms? Willing to be hurt and still give them a second chance if they asked for it?Hadn't she also just entered an agreement with the Radio Demon and allowed her hotel, her business and dream, to be opened up and tampered with just for his entertainment?
'It's not a question of if I can do it.' Charlie looked up at Coco, a sweet and innocent looking girl who seemed to be the victim of bad luck making the best out of her situation. That hurt the most. 'It's if I can actually keep her safe along with everyone else in my hotel…'
Charlie thought about it. Her commitments to everyone here was to make sure the hotel was working and standing. Her commitment to the Radio Demon was to keep this place running and allow him free range of change and organization whenever he felt like it. She has been keeping her family and royal commitments at bay enough…
But what was her commitment to herself? Isn't Charlie committed to protecting her dream? To actually helping everyone who comes in and believing that there is good in everyone, that everyone deserves a chance and a helping hand.
'My commitment to this hotel is the same to everyone in it,' Charlie agreed within herself. 'To help whoever asks to come in here and change into better people.'
"Okay," Charlie said, nodding up at Coco and giving her a smile. "I'll, I mean… We at the Happy Hotel would be proud to have our first ever, human guest!"
"Really!" Coco looked up excitedly.
"Really?" Blitzo asked, looking confused but happy. "It was that easy?"
"What?" Angle looked confused.
"What!" Vaggie looked slightly outraged.
"Yay!" Niffty said excitedly. "I don't know what's going on!"
"We're all dead." Husk said blankly, taking another drink to numb his sense of overarching disappointment.
"Does this mean we have to pay for her rent?" Moxxy asked Blitzo quietly.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there." Blitzo said secretively.
Coco had to hold still to contain her excitement, she was on the verge of tears at this! Before she knew it, Charlie walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a warm smile.
"Now, there are going to have to be some special rules for you," she said carefully, trying not to make it sound too harsh. "Just for safety's sake, but we'll try our best to keep everything manageable. All you have to do is make sure no one suspects you're a human outside of this hotel. Or else, we might come into some trouble out there…"
"Of course!" Coco agreed, nodding her head and smiling even more. "I'll keep it all quiet! I already work and everything, everyone already thinks I'm a demon. I'll just make sure nobody knows where I go or who I am!"
"Smart idea!" Charlie gave a thumbs up and continued on. "Look, the deal here is simple: Do your best to become a better person and help everyone else in here do the same. We're all trying to help demons rehabilitate themselves towards redemption; so try your best to become as good a person as you can be. Is that at deal?"
She didn't even have to think twice about it before hugging her.
"It's a deal," Coco said, hugging Charlie close and burying her head into her shoulder. "Thank you…"
"Thank you too," Charlie said, surprised at first but then hugging back. "For believing in me…"
Charlie couldn't remember the last time somebody actually, who heartedly believed in her and her cause. It almost felt like the first time. And she was surprised to see that a human could make her feel so welcomed…
"Aw~" Blitzo half mockingly sighed, starting to tear up. "It's so disgustingly sweet, I don't know if I want to barf or cry~"
"I'll do both in a second," Luna complained, now really tired of all of this shit. "Can we get on with this shit? This gay love fest is gonna give me diarrhea."
"Same…" Angle and Husk both complained under their breathes.
Everyone stopped and realized that maybe checking in a human for living here might be a little more complicated than they expected.
"Okay!" Charlie said up beat and stepping back, gesturing over behind her. "Well! You know what the hotel is all about, um, before I can give you guys a tour I need some-"
"Insurance," Vaggie said, immediately taking Charlie by the hand and starting to lead her away. "Let's uh, have managerial heart to heart. Just check in at the front desk for a minute!"
Everyone stopped and turned their heads over to the front desk/bar area and saw Husk take out some kind of clipboard. On it was basically form asking for basic information and an option of someone to call incase they needed to be taken to a mental hospital later.
"Sign here," was all Husk said as he put down a pen and let Coco get to work. Once she was done, he then took out a bottle of Whiskey and set it down on the bar."Ya gunna need this."
Coco stared at that questioningly before Blitzo came up, signed for the emergency contact info, and took the bottle with a cheerful face.
"Wonderful welcoming gift!" Was all he said as he took it over to the group and left Coco standing there.
"Ya gunna need this too," Husk then put a bottle of absence on the desk.
"Doesn't that stuff kill people?" Coco asked, pointing at the bottle carefully.
"Why's that gunna stop ya?" Angle asked, smirking over and reaching for the bottle, only to have it put away by Husk. "huh. A human, here in Hell? Well ain't that just stupid."
"Hey…" Coco said, wondering if she should feel offended or not.
"She's so cute!" Niffty said, standing up on a bar stool and staring at Coco with deep interest. "So neat! But wait! Are you sick? Have you been sick before? I heard humans carry all sorts of germs and diseases, are you carrying diseases? Are you?"
"UMMMMMM," Coco was incredibly uncomfortable and stepped back towards the group at IMP and chose to stand with them until the nice girl came back. "What exactly did I agree to again…?"
"I think you just sold your soul to the daughter of the devil," Moxxy responded, putting in a detail he forgot to mention before.
"…" Coco let that little detail sink in for a second before realizing she probably just made a very grave error. "… what?"
What were they even doing back there?
—Back office —-
Vaggie dragged Charlie into the back and stood her next to the door. After giving her a quick up and down to check and see if there was anything physically wrong or suspect, she went into her questioning.
"You can't be serious," Vaggie said, gesturing to outside the room while still staring directly at Charlie, giving her her best "you've gotta be kidding me" look. "She's a human!"
"She needs our help!" Charlie began to plead, holding her hands to her chest as if in prayer and beginning to beg for her defense. "What's the point of having a hotel for redemption if we don't help all those in need!"
"She needs to go back home!" Vaggie clarified, now pointing at the door. "And who the hell says she's actually here against her will? Should could have just, like, summoned a portal and jumped through and is now using them as an excuse!"
"Really, Vaggie?" Charlie gave her a sarcastic smile. "Because everyone really wants to come to Hell?"
"Okay," Vaggie facepalmed herself and admitted that part was stupid. "Maybe not that exactly, but it's still overly suspicious. How has she even been able to survive this long? Last time I checked, curses don't just drop you in the middle of Hell and let you go around un-scarred."
"Maybe it just left the mark as a sign that it's present?" Charlie offered, then tried to think back to that mark again. "Although, it was a really old kind of curse mark. Most of them aren't that intricate and delicate looking. And that book she was holding looked pretty weird. Kind of familiar to me…"
"You're missing the point!" Vaggie replied, trying to get Charlie back to reality and out of mystery mode. "That girl is a walking hazard! If anyone finds out we're harboring a human, or some demon gets a whiff of her human smell, she's dead and we're dead! And I don't know if you noticed, but she smells pretty strongly of fresh human blood!"
"Relax, Vaggie!" Charlie tried to start calming her friend down from her long tirade. "She obviously passes as a demon with that get up so she'll be fine in public! Besides! It's not like any of the demons in here are actually the human preying or magic wielding kind! Other than me, she'll be perfectly safe here!"
"Have you forgotten about Alastor?" Vaggie reminded her, actually kind of glad to use that windbags' name to her advantage.
"… Yes." Charlie admitted, now remembering the all powerful demon who supports and occasionally patronizes this hotel in an attempt to remain entertained on whim. What would he do if he found out or, even worse, smelt a human in this place… "Oh dear…."
She forgot about that…
-Back outside-
While feeling slightly less mortally in-danger while standing inside the Hazbin Hotel, Coco wondered if this actually was a good idea or not. Those girls have been in that one room for an uncomfortable five minutes and this little Niffty thing keeps staring at her and questioning her about the weirdest shit.
"I can kill her if you want," Luna offered, also getting more and more irritated by Nifftys' general existence.
"No," Coco said, starting to become stressed out as this waiting went on and on. "Please don't do that…"
"For someone who work in our office," Milly pipped in with a grin. "You're really uncomfortable with murder!"
"For a sound reason…" Coco responded.
At that, the door opened again and both Charlie and Vaggie appeared. Charlie looked slightly more stressed than before, but kept the same smile she had on from earlier.
"Alright!" She said, clapping her hands together and producing a solemn key. "We've got you signed up and everything, now let's begin with the check in!"
"Is that a skeleton key?" Moxxy asked, pointing at the key in Charlies' hand.
"They even make those anymore?" Blitzo asked, starting to get really excited and interested. "Hot damn! You won't believe the kinds of things we could do with-"
"It's not for you!" Vaggie yelled at them, glaring at IMP before looking back at Coco. "It's for the humans' own health."
"What is it?" Coco asked, stepping closer to have a look.
"Just what he said, a skeleton key," Charlie held up the key so Coco could have a good look at it. It was shaped like an old-time key, but had a solid apple motif at the end of it painted in gold. "These are a bit different from most typical keys. They can unlock any door that's locked! And here in Hell, this type of key works for most doors if you have a little bit of magic stored into it. Which I just so happen to have!"
"Oh, cool!" Coco said, picking the key up and taking a closer look at it.
It wasn't too big and felt almost dainty in her hand. It was no bigger than her pointer finger and was quiet thin, but overall was a very nice piece of metal.
"Lame," Blitzo responded, picking the key up from out of her hands and giving it a one over. "So it only unlocks doors? Not safes or banks or anything?"
"That's not the point," Charlie said, snatching it back and putting it back into Cocos' hands. "The point is, humans are really in danger here and need a bit of protection!"
"But she already has-" Milly began before Moxxy cupped her mouth and let Charlie continue.
"Think of it as a safe house key," Charlie said while looking at Coco eagerly. "With this you can come in and out of the hotel, your room, and you can also hide in a room in case you feel in danger!"
"Oh I see," Coco said, holding up the key in recognition of its potential. "It's like an emergency hideaway escape."
"Which means you can't lose it," Vaggie said, pointing at Coco critically. She still wasn't on board with have a human in this hotel, but had to accept what she couldn't since Charlie was adamant on keeping her. "Listen, we're only housing you here. We can't back you up or go around saving you if you get into any trouble. So you're on your own out there, got it?"
"Uh, got it?" Coco said, a bit intimidated by Vaggie.
Vaggie just turned away with a wave of her hair that reminded Coco of a puff of smoke. For someone who dressed so cutiesy, you wouldn't expect so much of an attitude. But Charlie seemed to make up for it in her happy and extroverted nature. She assured Coco that everything was going to be alright and made her promise to tell her if she needed anything.
At that, Coco knew it was time to say goodbye to everyone at IMP and send them off with a "see you tomorrow".
'Well this is weird,' Coco thought as she turned around to look at Blitzo and the others. 'How do you politely tell your co-workers to get lost?'
She couldn't also shake the uncomfortable feeling of loneliness she would feel once they were actually gone. After all, she had stayed with them in Hell for the last week and they were the only peop-…. demons, she knew a quasi-trusted. How could she spend a night or enter a new place without feeling insecure that they weren't there?
"Well, um," Coco began, smiling over at everyone at IMP. She had been especially fond of staying with Moxxy and Milly and would miss talking to them the most. "Guys, thank you for… Well, taking care of me all of the time! And thanks for bringing me here and helping me… You really didn't have to so-"
"Oh we had to," Moxxy stated, wiping away any delusions that he could ever be fond of or interested in taking care of Coco. "If we didn't stick you in here, you'd either still be slumming it in our office or be sleeping on the streets tonight."
"… So nice of you to say, Moxxy…" Coco said, just giving Moxxy a meaningless glare. "You make this so much easier for me."
"He's kidding!" Milly cheered, punching Moxxy in the shoulder and smiling at Coco. "We're gonna miss seeing you 24/7 at the office."
"Says who?" Both Moxxy and Luna asked.
"SAYS ME!" Milly yelled at both of them and smiled again at Coco. "Don't let them fool you! We loved having you around!"
"Milly," Coco chuckled a bit before looking back at her. "Uh, I'm checking into a hotel. Not going to prison. You'll see me at the office tomorrow."
"Oh!" Milly looked like she had forgotten that part.
"She's right you know," Moxxy told Milly, stepping beside her to look at Coco again. Now deciding to be more civil. "Look, it'll be better for you here so you don't drive yourself crazy. So… I guess, good luck?"
"Good luck on what?" Luna laughed a bit. "Not wetting the bed?"
"Hey that wasn't me!" Coco said, blushing.
"No no," Moxxy stated, shaking his head. "Look, I mean, we'll see you tomorrow anyway? Just don't act like this is our last goodbye or anything."
"That's right, -sniff-," Blitzo said, walking up to stand next to Coco. He had been standing there and wavering between looking happy and ready to leave and on the verge of tears. For some reason, this was hitting him the hardest. "We've got a-an office to work at and a business to run! S-So while we all may feel heart broken at our sudden loss-"
"I'm not," Moxxy said.
"I feel fine," Milly said.
"I don't care," Luna growled.
"I'm not dead…" Coco groaned.
"We we we must remember that our work comes first!" Blitzo continued, trying to stay strong. He then grabbed Coco and pulled her next to him by her shoulder and proceeded with this long drawn out speech that was only emotional for him. "That we are a team! And no matter what, no matter how far from each other we are. Or how ever long we have to spend away from each other. Or how you won't be able to make sure she'd brushing her teeth at night and getting a good night's sleep. W-We must be strong and and and-"
"Please don't cry on me…" Coco said horrified.
Well she didn't get her wish because Blitzo broke down into bawls of tears. She was made further uncomfortable by the fact that Blitzo grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug. Like a mom hugging her child before their first day, Blitzo seemed equally as emotional about letting Coco go and live semi-on her own.
"Oh this is horrible!" Blitzo cried and squeezed Coco, he would never have outright admitted he was growing attached to the girl but he did feel he was becoming overtly overprotective of her as a way to express his fondness. "I can't let you go out there, into the world, alone! What if you get cold? What if you get tired? What if you suddenly fall down a set of stairs and break your foot and can't stand up but you can't call for help because nobody is there and you're left alone for hours until somebody finds you and they have to chop your foot off!? I can't leave my poor baby in here all by herself! She has no one to protect her from these obviously stupid people in here!"
"Blitzo!" Coco shouted, trying to squirm out of the iron like grip that Blitzo has. Her face was bright red as she was embarrassed about how Blitzo was treating her in front of her new house mates as well as making fun of them in their own home! "Cut it out! The other demons are staring at us…"
"I thought he wasn't getting too attached to the human?" Milly asked Luna, pointing at the episode in front of them.
"I didn't say that," Luna clarified, glaring at the PDA Blitzo was so fond of. "I said he has YET TO attach a leash to the kid to follow her around more."
"Oh my damnation…" Moxxy complained, facepalming himself as he looked on at Blitzo and felt like he had reached a new level of professional embarrassment in his career from this. "Sir! Put the human down and let's go already? We already wasted half a day trying to get her into this place!"
"Hey! Have some decency for once!" Blitzo yelled back, continuing to hug Coco more as if he was dealing with his abandonment issues through this. "Do you know how hard it is to let go of somebody how has become this precious to our family? We're leaving her out for the wolves here people!"
"We've only had her for a week," Luna reminded him.
"We're not a family!" Moxxy stated again, for maybe the fifth time in one day.
"I can take care of myself!" Coco complained again for the third time today.
"Will you all just hurry this up already!?" Vaggie shouted, now getting more irritated that so many people were in her work space. "Fuck! We don't have time to host a therapy session!"
"Yeah can't ya' take this elsewhere?" Angle asked, looking more bored and irritated than before. "Some of us have better things than to watch-"
"SHUT IT!" All of IMP and Coco shouted. "WE'RE HAVING A BUSINESS MEETING!"
Everyone else shut up for a second and watched as everyone tried to put Blitzo together so he could leave Coco alone…
'This is exactly why I wanted to move in here,' Coco replayed all of Blitzos' overstepping boundary moves in her mind and settled on the fact that this was her best choice in Hell so far. 'So I could have at least some personal space…'
They managed to get Blitzo to hold himself together for everyone to actually prepare to leave. Milly and Moxxy had been nice enough to pack a nap-sack of extra clothes, some toiletries and a few old books to keep her occupied so she wouldn't drive herself too crazy. Luna didn't offer her much other than a "don't die out there" and a shrug, which was actually quite pleasant compared to how she usually acts.
Now, Coco had to proceed to walk Blitzo out the door and away from the her new room so she could settle in. But, he wasn't going to do so without nitpicking and nagging the entire way.
"Make sure you eat all of your meals," Blitzo began to instruct, as if he actually had full concern over Cocos' health. "No snacking in between meals!"
"Got it," Coco said, continuing to direct him and everyone else out.
"Make sure they know any and all of your allergies!" Blitzo chimed again, looking over towards Moxxy like he had some kind of actual information. "I bet they don't even know she's allergic to peanuts."
"No I'm not, leave now," Coco repeated.
"And drink plenty of water!" Blitzo reminded her.
"Yes…" Coco growled.
"Oh! And careful about milk labels!" Milly said, as if she was imparting important information. "That stuff goes bad quick!"
"Okay," Coco said, rolling her eyes. "I'll do that. Just-"
"Don't make them our special coffee!" Blitzo nearly begged, looking at Coco carefully. "It's our special thing~"
"And don't drink coffee before bed!" Moxxy reminded her, looking at her sternly. "The worst thing you can do is stay up all night like an insomniac and have us deal with it."
"Okay! I get it!" Coco yelled, marching towards the door and beckoning them to go faster. "Can you PLEASE just go back to IMP and watch office porn?"
"But first!" Blitzo interrupted again, now touching Cocos' hair and examining it. "Remember to wash your hair twice a day! It gets dry and frizzy if you don't."
"Yes," Coco reluctantly agreed, trying to make this go faster. "I'll do it. Just go…"
"And brush your teeth three times a day!" Moxxy chimed in. "No cavities in the office!"
"And use mouth wash!" Milly added.
"Good point, Milly," Blitzo nodded. "Bad breath is bad for business."
"So is wasting our time…" Coco growled under her breath darkly.
"Do you really have everything you need?" Blitzo said, checking her meager possessions knowing full and well she doesn't have enough to live out of a hotel room but still acting disapprovingly. "Honestly, how can you take care of yourself like this? Why don't we just stay here and help you fix up you room and-"
"GET OUT OF THE HOTEL BEFORE I TEAR YOUR TAILS OFF!" Coco shouted, a small spark of Hell burn fire sparking out from under shoes for a moment.
In one movement, Coco held open the door, pushed all four of them out, yelled out a quick "see you tomorrow" and shut it in under a minute. She quickly turned the lock nob, leaned against the heavy wood door, and let out a long sigh of relief.
'Finally,' Coco thought to herself, starting to relax a little as the she fell into the dark cool door. She took in a deep breath, only a slight sent of the burning trash air of outside was left over in the clean air from the hotel. 'This is… the first time I can actually relax away from the actual demons who brought me here…'
And then they left. Left her with a bunch of other clueless idiots who had even less of an idea about what to do with her.
'And now I miss them…'
