Morning rises in Zomburbia, as do many Zombies from their beds or graves. Captain Deadbeard was still fast asleep, as a result of his generally low energy. His pet parrot Cracker had flown up to his sniper tower to meet back up with him. Cracker squawked loudly, quickly waking the old pirate.
"Gah! Cracker! Why do ye have ta wake me like this?" Captain Deadbeard cried.
Captain Deadbeard looked down at his parrot and saw that Cracker had brought a plate of veggie chips leftover from last night's brain barbecue. Pleased by this, Deadbeard picked up Cracker and stroked his head.
"Thanks lad. Ye were always a good bird." Captain Deadbeard said.
Deadbeard picked up a chip and fed it to his parrot, which Cracker quickly devoured. Deadbeard ate a few chips along with him, enjoying the company of his pet. A wave of nostalgia washes over Deadbeard as he recalls a similar interaction from long ago, with a scallop instead of chips. It was just another reason why Deadbeard enjoyed being a Zombie pirate.
In his home, Super Brainz was asleep in his bed. His alarm clock started beeping loudly to wake him up. Super Brainz responded by punching the clock, breaking it and sending it to the floor. He jumps out of bed and sweeps up the clock debris, replacing the clock with another one from his nightstand drawer. Super Brainz was assuming his secret identity as a normal citizen of Zomburbia, and had to dress and act accordingly. In his closet, he picked out a traditional business shirt, tie, and slacks. While he had no office job to go to, it was convincing enough.
For breakfast, Super Brainz took out a box of Pop Smarts, a breakfast pastry stuffed with a sugary brain filling. Super Brainz knew that he could eat healthier things for breakfast, so along with Pop Smarts, he made toast, eggs, and brain milk. His favorite healthy breakfast food was a tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Brains, a non-GMO sourced brain substitute made from cauliflower. After slicing up the brain substitute and placing the slices on his toast, Super Brainz turned on his TV to watch commercials, delighted to see his favorite commercial pop up on the screen.
"Up in the sky! It's a waffle! It's a sausage! It's Breakfast Brainz! The healthiest hero ever born! His waffles fly faster than a speeding Cheerio! His punches are more powerful than bacon strips! The secret to his incredible power? Pop Smarts! The delicious brain-filled pastry that allows him to leap tall stacks of pancakes in a single bound! The Zombie of energy and vigor! Breakfast Brainz! Buy Pop Smarts today! Part of a complete brain breakfast!"
Super Brainz smiled brilliantly after watching the commercial. Breakfast Brainz was a wonderful mascot to promote the popular breakfast food, doubling as a positive role model for Zombies to strive for great lengths no matter how basic they are. Even if Zombies were not gifted with superpowers like Super Brainz was, nothing should stop them from achieving the best they could imagine. The best way Super Brainz could prove this to himself was to step down to the basic Zombie level and live among Browncoats, urging them to aim higher while keeping his identity a secret.
After eating his main breakfast, Super Brainz brewed himself a mug of brain coffee (a mixture of powdered brains and coffee beans) and stepped outside to get some musty air and cloudy sunlight. He checked his mailbox to find spider webs and mold coating the inside. If every Zombie knew he was Super Brainz, the mailbox would be overstuffed with fan mail, so Super Brainz preferred a cobwebbed, moldy mailbox. He leaned on his mailbox and took a sip of his brain coffee, smiling at a passing Buckethead Browncoat.
"Good morning neighbor! How are you today?" Super Brainz casually greeted.
The Buckethead turned to look at Super Brainz and scratched his head, feeling as though Super Brainz was familiar somehow.
"What seems to be troubling you?" Super Brainz politely asked.
The Buckethead responded in grunts and wheezes, which Super Brainz understood fluently.
"You feel as though you have seen me before? In yesterday's battle? Why silly you! I am just a regular, peaceful citizen like you. I don't involve myself in such pointless conflict. If you fought in yesterday's battle though, I congratulate you for surviving. It must have been difficult for you." Super Brainz commented and commended.
The Buckethead responded again in grunts, asking Super Brainz another question.
"Who am I you ask? I'm your friendly neighborhood businessman. I help sell raw materials in stocks." Super Brainz answered.
The Buckethead shook his head and growled, unsatisfied with the answer.
"Oh, you mean what is my name? Well, my name is…" Super Brainz began, and then stopped.
His voice trailed off as he realized that he never actually came up with a name for his secret identity, as no one had ever asked him for his name before. He thought for a few moments before deciding on the first name that came to his imagination.
"Johnathan! Yes, that's my name." Super Brainz finally said.
The Buckethead strained to repeat the name, but managed to growl the word: "John…a…than"
"That's it! You are quite smart fellow neighbor! That's one more word for your vocabulary. Now go tell your friends that Johnathan said hello. Goodbye for now!" Super Brainz praised.
The Buckethead smiled and waved goodbye to Super Brainz before running off to meet with his friends. Super Brainz smiled back, feeling good about his new name. Johnathan. It wasn't Super Brainz, but it would suffice.
Imp had just finalized the polishing of his Z-Mech, scrubbing out the dirt and bloodstains of Plants from its exterior. He nodded in satisfaction, leaving the room to get his lunchbox from his fridge. When he returned, his Z-Mech had powered itself back up and greeted him in a digital voice.
"It is time to depart, sir. Daycare will not wait for you." The Z-Mech urged Imp.
This Z-Mech was known as "Z-Mech 11011-3", more commonly referred to as Steve. Like other Z-Mechs, he was designed and created to be a deadly tank weapon to be used to suppress Plant resistance and defend Zombie citizens and soldiers. However, Dr. Zomboss had selectively chosen Steve to be the primary caretaker of the Imps, taking them to daycare, bringing them back home, and tucking them into bed. Personally, Steve despised this job, knowing that he was capable of performing much more difficult and important tasks. Having to babysit the Imps felt like a waste of potential on his part. Even so, he obeyed Dr. Zomboss's command and did everything in his power to watch over the Imps, believing that perhaps someday, Dr. Zomboss would relieve him of the task and allow him to work in other areas.
"Jump in, and let my auto-piloting take you to your destination." Steve said to Imp.
"Yeah! Woo-hoo!" Imp cried out, jumping into Steve and closing the windshield.
Steve exited Imp's garage by crashing through the garage door, only because doing so made the Imp excited and entertained.
"Oh yeah!" Imp cheered as Steve crashed through.
"I will repair the door later when I return home." Steve replied.
Steve and Imp arrive at the Imp Daycare, where all of the military Imps were currently sitting on outdoor picnic tables enjoying their lunches. Imp ejected from Steve's pilot seat and landed on a nearby bench.
"Showoff…" A fellow Imp commented.
Imp giggled at the others as he opened his Breakfast Brainz lunchbox, revealing a brain and mayonnaise sandwich. Steve, convinced that Imp would be fine, went away to relax beneath a nearby tree. After sitting down beneath the shade of the rotting tree, Steve opened a ZDF file of a book called "Militaristic Strategies and Tactics for the Critically Thinking A.I." and began to read. Examining the descriptions of army formations and martial philosophies caused Steve to daydream about being a leader of his own Z-Mech unit, providing training regimens and giving commands to other Z-Mechs. Steve electronically sighed, knowing that all of that was merely wild imagination. If Dr. Zomboss had seen anything more in him, Steve would have already been a commanding officer. Steve looked up from his book to see his Imp talking away with his friends and comrades, hearing not much more than giggles and chattering.
"If only you were capable of taking care of yourself, master. Then we could fulfill our own destinies without limitation. Instead we are bound by each other's fates. I do not hold you in low regard, but I do not hold you in high regard either." Steve thought to himself.
"But someday, you will grow up. Someday, you will be a grown Zombie, leading your own little unit. I will be relieved of parenting when the day comes, and I will be happy." Steve continued thinking.
Imp turned around to look at Steve and waved to him. Programmed to do so, Steve waved back in response, allowing Imp to return to his lunchtime.
"*electronic sigh* Even so, part of me will miss your youth. Oh, how strange a sentiment that is. How strange a feeling I am experiencing…" Steve said to himself.
Perhaps he was programmed that way, but Steve loved Imp as if he were his son. Even if he wanted to achieve greater things, this little Zombie would not allow him to do so. Strangest of all, there were some days when Steve didn't even mind that fact.
