The second he got the call, it felt like the floor beneath him disappeared. The last thing he expected was to be called to the house where Erin's mom apparently was. It was the last thing she needed on top of everything else, he thought.
It was hectic when they got to the house. Jay had been at the district with Voight and Al, everyone else still on their way in. He remembered waking up, leaving Hailey still asleep in bed, and despite everything going on, he smiled at the sight, knowing he had exhausted her the night before. Last night was a stress reliever for them both, the weight of their last case hit hard when they got home, as they left their walls at their front door.
Hailey understood him more than he did, and even while he didn't verbalize it, he knew she saw how the case affected him. Jay knew her just as well, which was why he dragged her towards their shower, silently telling her in no uncertain terms that work would be forgotten and all that mattered was the both of them.
Jay knew she was going to talk to her FOP lawyer this morning about the hearing before the review board later. They had all prepped but there was a lot riding on her. She was the only other person in that room beside Erin and their suspect, and Jay knew deep down that her version of events could make or break Erin's career.
He didn't wish that on anyone, to be the deciding factor for another cop's career. But with the case that stood in front of them now, he could feel in his gut this was going to go downhill.
Time didn't seem to be relative anymore, but he heard his wife walk in, talking to Al to fill her in as he rummaged through the kitchen drawers, ignoring the comments coming from Bunny.
"Okay. Thanks," he heard Hailey say after a while. "That was Dr. Choi Guy's alive, barely. Going into surgery now."
"Yeah," Al answered. "His name is Johnny Martelli."
"You know him?" his wife asked as he continued listening to the conversation. He needed to hear her voice right now, something to ground him as his mind was spinning.
"Voight knows him from the Social Club," Al said, and even Jay knew that was all he would say about the subject.
"We're looking for a nine-millimeter," the older man said, changing the subject.
"All right," Hailey said, and it was then he could feel her eyes in him, almost like she was seeing how he was handling it all. "Let's find that gun."
Jay could feel the adrenaline still rushing through him, knowing it was the only thing that was keeping him from stopping to think. In this moment, thinking was dangerous. He was already struggling from the potential fallout of the situation with Erin and Hailey, and not knowing how to react was eating him alive.
"Jeez, man," he heard Adam say. "You going out of your mind? First you and Lindsay are split up. Now this? I wouldn't want to be here."
"I didn't know we had a choice," he shot back honestly. He didn't know what to think when Voight called him, telling him Bunny was in trouble. That was the last thing any of them needed, was Bunny Fletcher getting added to the mix.
"Let's get all the evidence we can," he told Adam, trying to refocus back on the case. "We don't know what happened here."
"Yeah?" Adam said, the simple word coming out like a question.
"Yeah," he replied, turning to look back into the bedroom. He felt Adam's hand on his arm, a silent "I got your back" but Jay was grateful none the less. At least it felt like someone was in his corner, even while he wasn't sure whose he was in: his partner's, or his wife's.
For once Jay was relieved to be the one to go to Med to check on Martelli. As the words left Voight's mouth, to walk Bunny out and head to Med, it felt like some of the tension in his shoulders was gone. The metaphorical weight on his chest had lifted. Seeing Erin at the district was no help either, because for a second, he thought he would never see her again and he had been oddly okay with that.
The idea of being alone without the prying eyes of his unit was much needed. With everything happening as of late, and now his partner being suspended, he wasn't sure where he stood. Adam's words this morning were somewhat comforting, but he knew the only person he could really comfort was working the same case and caught up with Erin's troubles.
His saving grace was his brother, who luckily wasn't busy. He may seem like a lost puppy following Will around the ED, but it didn't bother him. Being around Will for the time being was familiar, it was normal, just liked being around Hailey.
The thought of her made him smile, as she always did.
Jay would tell Will was annoyed with his constant pacing, and that his brother could sense whatever was going on inside his head. Will always could do that, could always seem to figure out just what was going on with him, even after years spent apart and not talking much.
"It's surgery," Will said, trying to get his brother to calm down. "They're pulling bullets out of the guy. It takes a minute."
"I know," Jay said, hesitation clear. "It's just, there's a lot riding on this for Erin."
"Is she freaking out?" Will asked.
"I don't know," Jay explained. "We didn't speak, really. I mean, we couldn't, it's so messed up."
Before he could say anything else, he spotted Dr. Choi walking towards them. The next thing he knew, the other doctor was standing in front of him.
"Jay, sorry, gunshot victim didn't make it," he explained. "Lost too much blood before we could stabilize him. I'm gonna notify his sister unless you'd rather do it?"
Jay just shook his head at the other vet before replying.
"It's a homicide now, so I need the time he was pronounced."
"I'll get the records," Ethan said before walking away.
"Thanks, Choi," Will said as Ethan left them. Jay then felt his brother's attention turned back to him, and it took a lot for him to not just walk out of the ED right there.
"How's Hailey feel about all this?" Will asked then, glancing down at the file in front of him.
"She seems fine, why?" Jay asked, confused by Will's question.
"Look I get you're close to Erin, you've worked together for years, but think about this from Hailey's perspective," Will began. "Watching her husband interact with another woman in the way you and Erin do?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jay interrupted, feeling himself getting defensive. But something in Will's words made it click, because he didn't know who he was defensive about: Erin or Hailey. It hit him then that the last few days, past few weeks even, has been a never-ending question of him wondering where his loyalties lied.
"All I'm saying is be careful and don't hurt her," Will finished, but Jay knew who "her" was. Before either of them could say anything else, the ED doors open, two paramedics rushing through.
"Two white male teens, both found unconscious," he told Will. "Girl who called said it was oxy. We administered Narcan, pulled one out, but her friend's nonresponsive."
"Bridgeport?" Will asked then, much to the surprise of the paramedic.
"Yeah," he replied. "St. Joe's Prep."
Will just shook his head as he turned back to Jay. His own mind was spinning, but instead of the battle between Erin and Hailey, he was focusing on what was happening in front of him.
"Two Bridgeport ODs yesterday, same deal," Will began. "Kids thought they were taking 10 milligrams, turned out to be 80."
"Well, there's more coming," the paramedic said. "Last count was these two plus nine."
They both watched him walk away towards the patient he just brought in. Jay watched the struggle play out on his brother's face, the question of whether to go tend to the new patient or stay and help his brother. He knew Will would stay and try to help, that was just who he was. But this was something he had to figure out on his own, but more so, he didn't want someone else giving him advice on this situation he found himself in.
"Go do your thing," he told Will, watching what he thought was surprise cross his feature. "Go."
He looked down, a million things running through his mind as he felt Will give his arm a reassuring squeeze, similar to what Adam did earlier. There was so much at stake here, and Will's question rang through his mind. The truth was, he didn't know how Hailey felt. She barely talked to him when she got home last night, except to tell him what had happened in the interrogation room.
It hit him then, the fear he held in the back of his mind from the second Hailey joined Intelligence. He hoped it would play out, that it would just be a simple worry that would fade once Kim returned and Hailey went back to Robbery-Homicide. But as the day went on and he was left alone with nothing but his own thoughts, he could see it coming.
Erin didn't have much time left in Intelligence. He was slowly beginning to realize it. Everything with Bunny was falling into place and with the dark cloud hanging over the CPD, there was no way she could bounce back from this investigation. Voight wouldn't be able to make this disappear.
"So, the bad news is the slugs that we recovered out of Johnny Martelli don't match any guns in our database," Kevin explained as he stood in front of the others. "They also don't match the gun that we recovered from the scene, which we also believe to be Martelli's."
"However, and more interestingly, the SIG we believe to be Martelli's did hit for another case, and that case involved this truck," Adam added.
The piqued her interest, Hailey thought as she sat there listening to Ruzek and Atwater.
"It was robbed on Racine, Back of the Yards," Adam continued. "40,000 pills of codeine. Two offenders wearing masks. The SIG was fired three times when the driver wouldn't get out of the truck."
"I just came from Med, and kids are ODing and dropping all over Bridgeport," Jay jumped in. "So, whoever's selling them these pills, they got the dosage of what they're selling wrong, and this robbery happened about a mile from their school."
Hailey couldn't help but wonder if Jay talked to his brother, and if that was where this new information came from. It had been a while since she had seen Will Halstead, even while he was her brother-in-law. Will understood her and Jay's stance on their relationship, understood why they did some of the things they've done. But he had always been nothing but kind and warm with her, and somewhere along the way had become more of a brother than her own brother's were.
"Martelli's flooded his own neighborhood," Al said.
"So, how does that get him killed?" she asked, looking over in the direction of her unofficial partner and her husband, trying her best not to look at the latter.
"Well, the driver said two gunmen, right? Where's the other guy?" Hank asked.
"Work Martelli's associates," he continued. "Dump their phones. Who was near the robbery? Where are they now? And I want to know how this robbery connects to our homicide."
"Hey, boss, what about Bunny Fletcher?" Adam asked. She silently cursed Adam, because she had decided since the beginning that she could go the rest of her life without needing to know more about Bunny and that would be just fine with her. It didn't take her rank to know that this case was shaking up Jay, and not in a good way.
"Yeah," Voight said. "Get her back here."
"We can do that," Kevin replied as she moved off of Adam's desk. She watched the other officer walk towards her, wanting to as the question she knew she shouldn't ask, but was going to anyways.
"Hey, Sarge has friends in Bridgeport, right? Is this personal for him?"
Adam went silent before looking back at their boss's officer. That told her all she needed to know, but he continued.
"That's the charitable description."
Hailey knew that was all she was going to get out of him and chose to leave it at that, even when her instincts were telling her not to. But before she could do anything else, she heard Sergeant Platt's voice behind her.
"Gang," she said, voice devoid of emotion before perking up. "Upton, you got a second?"
"I was just gonna…" she began, even while she had no idea of what she was actually going to do. But Platt interrupted her, telling her point blank that she had no choice but to follow.
"Sure you do, come on."
Without another word, she turned to follow the older woman into the breakroom. Even while she felt that she knew and understood this woman, she had no idea what she could need. The second they entered, she watched as the desk sergeant with her hand on the doorknob, shutting it as soon as Hailey was in the room.
"You're next at the Review Board," Sergeant Platt told her, even while it was nothing new to her. She gave her a tiny nod, letting her know she was understanding.
"Yeah, that's right," she replied.
"It was just you and Lindsay in that room," Platt said. "Just your recollection and hers."
"And the offender," Hailey added. Sergeant Platt wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know, but she jumped in all the same.
"He doesn't matter anymore. They're gonna drive a wedge between you and Lindsay."
"I've been to the Review Board before," Hailey began, trying to give a reassuring smile. She knew she was the newbie, and that there would be eyes on her as she was already going to the board less than a month into her time in Intelligence. It wasn't a good look for her, and if anyone at the board found out about her and Jay, then she could accidentally take him down with her.
"Not when it's you and a friend of mine," Platt began. "Not with Intelligence. Some people in that tower have a real bug up their ass for Hank Voight, and they see Lindsay as his girl."
Hailey couldn't argue with that, not that she would voice her thoughts about that.
"You're the unknown quantity," Platt finished, telling her in no uncertain terms to not fuck this up. She sighed, trying to calm herself down from saying too much.
"I'm taking my FOP lawyer," she told Platt. "We've prepped. Nothing's gonna bounce on this unit or Lindsay. I'm not that kind of cop."
There was an odd silence between them before Platt spoke again, Hailey not expecting the near flippant attitude the woman suddenly had about the situation.
"Good," she said. "Then I came up here for nothing."
Without another word, she opened the door for them both, Hailey making her exit quickly. Another second in there and she was sure Platt would say something else, or worse, figure out that there was more to this whole situation than what happened in that interrogation room. Hailey knew the stakes in this, and while her lawyer knew about her and Jay, she couldn't be sure about anyone else.
It wasn't some tightly guarded state secret, her marriage to Jay that is. She was sure any cop could figure it out, but her lawyer warned her they could bring it up. The first assumption would be she had let Erin do what she did, her own personal means was to get her out of the picture, out of Jay's life. Even while the idea was tempting, it wasn't her motive. There was no way she knew what Erin would do, and if she was being honest, if circumstances dictated, maybe she herself would have taken drastic measures to find a missing boy.
Hailey shook her head, trying to get her mind back on track and focus on the case at hand. She would talk to Jay tonight, try and see what his read on the situation was, and when this case was over, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take that trip he mentioned a few weeks ago, getting out of the city for a few days.
She remembered why he asked, and the thought made her smile, her mind going back to the night he threw the box of condoms away, the same night they decided to stop preventing anything from happening.
Thinking about it now, it seemed to be exactly what they needed. The two of them, in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin with no phones, no coworkers and no responsibilities. It sounded absolutely perfect, and with the weather finally moving from cold and dreary Chicago to something hopefully warmer, nothing sounded better than a week away with her husband.
This entire case was making his head spin, and that was before he thought about whatever was going on with Hailey and Erin. Jay tried to avoid talking about it right now, partially because he didn't want to know and because the only way to solve all of this was by one problem at a time.
Which was what led him to taking a drive, needing the quietness of his truck to drown out the thoughts plaguing him. Silence used to be bad for him after everything he witness in Afghanistan, but now it was all he wanted.
By the time he realized close to an hour had passed and Voight had texted to ask where he was, he figured it was time to head back. The sooner he closed the case, the sooner he could be back home with Hailey, back in the bubble they created to block out all the noise associated with their jobs.
He was just getting out of his truck when he spotted her. She looked like she had aged five years, had somehow looked worse than the time he found her outside that club at eight in the morning after Nadia died. But he still knew that she was taking a risk even being here, which meant something must have happened.
"Hey," Erin said as she approached him. "Can we talk?"
Jay glanced around, wanting to see if anyone else was around that could put them in more hot water before nodding. He watched as she did the same; must be a partner thing. She walked closer as he took his sunglasses off, sliding them onto his shirt collar before deciding against it, needing something to do with his hands.
"My mom's in custody," she began, and he was not expecting that to come out of her mouth first thing.
"How? What district?" he asked before she jumped back in.
"It wasn't us. It's the FBI," she said. This was getting out of hand. "They got a tip on the narcotics – the shipment her boyfriend stole."
"For someone not working the case, you're up to speed," he said, trying to make a joke of it all before the conversation turned serious again.
"I tried to stay out of it," she told him, and when Bunny was involved, it was hard for Erin to not be involved. Her mother was her Achilles' heel, just like Hailey was his.
"Look," she continued. "It was three men who robbed the truck, driver was Ian McAuliff."
"That could be our shooter," he mused, surprised Erin got that much information from her mom. "Man, she opened up."
"I guess getting pinched by the FBI will do that to you," she replied, this time being her turn to joke.
"Go, get McAuliff," she told him. "I shouldn't be here."
Erin looked back at the district once more, and Jay let the idea that this could be the last time she may be here creep into his mind. But the thought was quickly gone as he felt her palm on his chest, the warmth oddly soothing.
He watched his former partner walk back towards her car, but he stayed rooted in place, unsure what to do. The information she gave him would be the break they needed in their case, but at what cost? The way Erin talked made it seem like she had lost her job, or she felt like she would. Either way, he felt bad for her, knowing how hard she worked to get to where she is.
"Hey Jay?" he heard her say, snapping him from his thoughts. He hadn't moved, or he didn't think he did, but he saw Erin looking back at him, her hand on her car door.
"Watch out for Upton," she said as she got into her car. "Be careful."
Without another word, she closed the door and drove off, leaving him nothing short of shocked. What had happened in that interrogation room, and at the review board? He hadn't had time yet to talk to Hailey, but after Erin's warning, he needed to find her.
It felt weirdly comfortable sitting in between Jay and Will at Molly's, like this was an everyday occurrence. She didn't feel as out of place as she expected with the addition of Kevin and Adam. It was a welcome change of pace after the week they had had.
What didn't feel right was how brooding Jay was being at the moment. If it weren't for everything happening, she would have thought he was in a mood because he couldn't touch her, or actually act like they were husband and wife. No, she knew the reason was because of Erin.
Despite it all, he had cornered her in the locker room earlier as she was leaving. There hadn't been time to talk as Platt called her downstairs and Adam had walked in minutes later. She knew they had to have this discussion, even if she wasn't ready for it. The last thing she wanted to do was blindside Jay, but she had to ask and know for herself.
Hailey found herself looking at the door again, expecting Erin Lindsay to walk in like nothing had happened. Jay would appreciate that, she thought to herself cynically. Even while her dislike for the other detective grew, she still didn't want to see her out of a job because of something any other cop in Erin's shoes would have done.
"Where is she?" she finally asked to no one in particular. She felt Adam behind her, reaching around to set another drink in front of Kevin.
"You know what? I texted both her and Burgess," Adam began, walking back to his seat. "Kim's on her way, but I never heard back from Lindsay."
"I wonder if she heard back from the board already," Kevin answered. Hailey felt Jay tense beside her, his silence more telling than his words ever could be.
"Maybe," Adam continued. "But that's all the more reason to celebrate, right?"
"Yeah, or drown her sorrows," she said. It was the truth, at least to her. She didn't see anything that would cause Erin to bounce back from this. Even as she felt all eyes on her, except for Jay whose gaze was set on the door, she didn't feel any remorse for her statement.
"Jeez," Adam mumbled, and that's when she knew she needed to quantify her statement. Two of the people here may know more than others, but right now, especially right now, was not the time to announce the man to her left shared her bed at night and had for the better part of four years.
"Sorry," she apologized, albeit half-heartedly. "I'm Greek. I see tragedy in everything."
"I thought you guys were supposed to be fearless?" Will asked, and she had to bite back a smile. Instead, she just shot him a look, hoping he got the message that if they weren't out in public, she would have smacked him for that comment.
"Yeah," she began, letting him know she wasn't messing around. She could also feel Jay's eyes shift back to her. "And on the streets, I'd like to think I am. But the Ivory Tower that place is like a minefield with an elevator. And any cop who thinks otherwise is stupid or –"
"Or what?" Kevin interrupted before she really could go off on a tangent.
"Or stupid," she finished before pointing at him. "Plain and simple."
Hailey heard Kevin mumbled an "okay" before the table went silent. She watched Will's eyes move back to his brother, having picked up on the same thing she had been all night, the ever-present broodiness that was coming from the younger Halstead.
"She'll be here," Will said in a reassuring manner. Hailey didn't know what all Will knew, but he could sense something was off about his brother and sister in law.
"Yeah," Jay said for the first time in over an hour. "Give me a minute."
She watched as he got up, not surprised he took his beer with him. They all knew where he was going, and Hailey felt the realization sting. This is what she had been afraid of, the idea that being surrounded by Jay at work and at home wouldn't bode well for their marriage, and she was watching her deepest fears come true.
"Copy a minute," Kevin said as he walked around her. She felt his arm brush against her back, but whether or not it was intentional, she didn't know. On instinct, her eyes followed him as he walked towards the door before disappearing outside, Will doing the same before turning back to the table, trying to lighten the now somber mood.
"That means a half hour," he told them, getting chuckles out of the other guys.
This was now dangerous territory, as it made her mind wander perhaps more than it should. The imagery was not lost to her: here she was, sitting at a bar with her brother in law and friends while her husband was outside calling another woman. That was what her life has become, and Hailey wasn't sure how she felt about it. Something would have to change but she didn't know what. Not being with Jay wasn't an option, and she refused to let her mind drift down that path.
She once again felt eyes on her and turned to find Will looking at her, eyes free of the judgement she somewhat expected. He never would think anything less of her, he was too much like his brother. At some point she had become close with him than her own brothers, which is why she felt a little better when she felt his hand reach for hers under the table, giving hers a light squeeze.
"Hey, I'm gonna call it a night," she said, deciding she wanted to be anywhere but here. The guys of course protested her, but she brushed it off, claiming some bullshit about being tired from the case and being questioned by the review board. They understand that and thankfully let her leave. Will just gave her a look, silently telling her it would be okay. But would it?
As she stepped outside into the cool Chicago air, she spotted him immediately leaning against the brick. He didn't seem to notice her, not until she was right beside him.
"Hey," he said softly, shoving his phone back into his pocket. Seeing him, and now him talking to her and being shady with his phone, which he never was, somehow was the last straw, the final trigger that caused all hell to break loose in her mind.
"Meet me at home," she told him firmly. "We need to talk."
Hailey was regretting it, all of it: leaving Molly's before him, forcing herself to sit on the couch in silence with only her thoughts to occupy her. But the silence let her analyze everything that had happened since she joined Intelligence, and none of it seemed good.
As she sat there, everything was beginning to add up, it was all falling into place. She didn't want to believe it; she didn't want to think about the fact that Jay could have done this to her. Her mind flashed back to what Erin said earlier, when Platt called both of them to make sure everyone was on the same page with everything.
Hailey scoffed remembering Erin's words. The other woman stayed back after Platt left, her demeanor shifting, and Hailey saw through it all. She played the part of a girl with a rough upbringing who got her life together, and while part of Hailey applauded her, the other part wasn't going to be deterred by the innocent act she had going on.
"How are you doing?" she had asked Erin when they were alone. This was a lot for any cop to handle, and now with her mom, Hailey couldn't imagine what was going through her mind.
"As well as could be," Erin replied. "Considering it all."
"If there is anything I can do," Hailey began before Erin cut her off.
"Yeah there's one thing," Erin said quickly. "Stay away from Jay."
"Excuse me?"
"He's got a lot going on, and he doesn't need someone like you bringing him into, whatever it is. Don't get involved with him, don't make him the other man."
Erin had left without any other words, leaving Hailey standing there, shocked at what just happened. It was then she realized what this was about – Erin didn't know that her husband was Jay. But the fact that Erin felt threatened told Hailey enough, further causing her to question what the extend of Jay and Erin's partnership was.
"Hailey!" she heard from the entry way. His voice jolted her in a way that it never had before. It was concerning, worrisome, scary even. Because she had no idea where this all would go, and how this would impact everything they had built.
"In here," she replied, taking another sip of the whiskey in her hands. He would catch on that something was wrong the second he saw her, because he knew her, knew that she went for the hard stuff when there was something on her mind.
"Hey," he said softly as he walked in, shedding his jacket off. Jay nodded towards the glass in her hands, and she knew she was caught. "You going with the hard stuff?"
"It's been a hard couple of days," Hailey replied, looking up at him. He didn't look as worried as he did an hour ago, he looked back to his normal self, maybe slightly exhausted by the case they've had.
"I get that," he told her. She averted her eyes from him, choosing to stare into the glass as if the whiskey would give her answers. She knew it wouldn't, but Hailey wanted to believe there was an answer to what was about to happen, for the conversation that needed to happen.
Silence fell between them and for the first time in the nearly six years they have been together, it was tense. Neither detective knew what to say as Hailey looked anywhere but Jay, and Jay stared only at his wife, waiting for her to say something, to do anything.
"Hailey," he tried, but was cut off as she shook her head.
"I need to ask you something," she began, her voice quiet. The tone from her made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, because it was one he had never heard from her before, ever.
"I'm only going to ask this once, and I hope you'll be honest with me," she finished.
"Of course," he replied. Hailey was beginning to scare him and there was nothing in his mind that would clue him in as to what she had to say.
Hailey took a deep breath, looking over at her husband. The look on his face told her a lot, and it told her heart he was innocent. But she needed to hear it from him, in his own words.
"Have you ever cheated on me?"
The words shocked Jay, because that was absolutely the last thing he expected from her. Until she opened her mouth, the best-case scenario was she was telling him she was pregnant; worst case was that she was quitting Intelligence and going back to Robbery-Homicide. Never in a million years would he think Hailey, his wife, his best friend, would ask him if he's cheated on her. Jay had never considered it, had never even let the thought enter his mind, because he had seen the shit his dad put his mother through, and he swore he wouldn't be the type of husband, the type of man, his father was to his mom.
"Jay," she said softly, her voice bordering on innocent and scared. But the matter at hand was far from that.
"No, I," he began, his words coming out stuttered as he tried to get his mind to slow down, to answer Hailey without it seeming like he was trying to lie.
"Forget it," she mumbled, getting up from the couch and walking back toward the kitchen.
"Hailey, wait!"
"What, Jay? Your reaction is saying enough!"
"I'm sorry," was all he could say in the moment. "Can I just explain myself? Please?"
Hailey nodded her head, setting her glass down on the island as she turned towards him.
"I have never cheated on you, okay? Your question just caught me off guard. I never would do that, ever. You are the only woman I want, the only woman I will ever need. And I'm sorry if anything I have said or done that has caused you to doubt me and how I feel about you."
She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. Even she would admit that it was a lot to process, but she needed to know before anything else happened. She believed him, but after her own childhood, the thoughts were there, the fear that one day he would walk out and never come back because she had too much baggage.
"And, while I'm at it, I'm sorry if things at work have made it hard here, for us. I never wanted this place, our home, to be affected by the stuff we do on the job. And I get the Erin situation is hard…"
The scoff she let out caused him to stop dead in his tracks, his words stopping abruptly as he looked across the room at his wife. The look on her face was a mix between boredom and disgust, and he had only ever really seen that as she interrogated suspects.
"What?" he asked, the concern he had growing into something else, some emotion he had never felt where Hailey was concerned, and it scared him. But it was clear he caught her off guard and she was about to go on the defensive.
"Hailey," he began but she shook her head.
"Just forget I said anything," she mumbled as she tried to turn away. She was beginning to regret this but hearing him bring Erin into all of this was a breaking point. This had nothing to do with Erin. Sure, it had started because of her, but it had evolved past that. The few weeks she had been with Intelligence had been enough to show her that Jay was different here, he wasn't the Jay she saw at home, the man she married, the man she fell in love with. There was some of that guy there, but Detective Halstead was different than Jay.
"No," he said, having caught up to her and grasped her wrist, prompting her to turn around. She shrugged out of his grip and that seemed to be the tipping point.
"There is something else on your mind, something that brought this on."
"Just drop it!" she said, her voice raising. "Okay? Just forget I said anything."
"No, because there is something wrong. You're defensive about something."
"No, I'm not," she shot back but Jay just shook his head.
"Did something happen at work? I know we're a rough bunch and if Erin is giving you a hard time…"
"Will you shut up about Erin Lindsay!" she exploded as she reached her breaking point. She had had it with Jay's former partner and wasn't going to hear it anymore.
"What does Erin have to do with this?" he asked, genuinely confused, and if she had to guess, a little sad.
"Fucking everything," she mumbled as she rubbed her forehead, feeling the symptoms of a migraine coming on.
As her words sunk in, Jay realized what this was.
"Hold on," he said. "Do you think I'm cheating on you with Erin?"
Hailey just shook her head, and the frustration in him was rising, the tensions from the past few days getting the better of him.
"That's what this is about? You think I'm sleeping with my partner?"
"She is not your fucking partner, Jay! Not anymore!"
His blood was boiling, because despite arguing with his wife, he felt the need to defend Erin, even as a little voice told him to shut up about it all.
"You're right," he said calmly. "She's yours, and you should have done a better job at backing her up."
The words were out of his mouth before he could stop him, and the look on Hailey's face made it seem like he had slapped her.
"You think this whole thing is my fault? I'm not the one that shoved my gun down a suspect's throat! And not that it is your business, but I backed her up in front of the review board, I backed you up, you and the entire unit, because that's the kind of cop I am."
"You just let your partner into an interrogation room with her gun? The same partner you accuse me of sleeping with?"
The only sound in the room was the echo of Hailey's hand meeting Jay's cheek. A gasp from Hailey followed, because she couldn't even believe what she had done. It was mere second later that redness colored the side of Jay's face, but he had taken it as if it were nothing, and that scared her most of all.
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she was on the verge of tears. She told herself from the time she could understand it that she would never hit her husband, and after the hell her father put her through, she swore she wouldn't be that person, and here she was, having done just that.
Hailey sank onto one of the barstools, her elbows resting on the counter as she buried her face in her hands. She was afraid to look at Jay right now, not because she didn't want to see the mark she left on his face, but because she didn't want to see the hurt that was undoubtably there.
There was silence one more, the only muffled sounds from the deep breathing that was blocked by her hands.
"Where do we go from here?" Jay asked quietly, all fight leaving him. There was a lot more at stake here, and considering he had no idea where Erin was, or what they would see tomorrow at work, the least he could do was repair what he could with Hailey. Their marriage meant too much to him, and to her, that he wouldn't let it be undone by the fight they just had, however accusatory it had been.
"I don't know," Hailey told him, finally looking up but not at him. She stared ahead, her vision falling on one of the photos on the refrigerator of them, smiling, happy, in love.
"All I know is that I need to think about whether or not this is a good for me, for us?" she finished.
"What is a good fit?" Jay asked. "Intelligence?"
"Intelligence, our marriage, all of it, I don't know," she finished, voicing their worst fears. She couldn't look at Jay in that moment, it was all too much. Instead, she turned her head in his direction, enough to see his body but not his face.
"What are you saying?" Jay asked quietly. Her silence was enough of an answer as he walked towards her. Instinct told her to protect herself, as she flinched at the thought and she saw the hurt flash in Jay's eyes at her movements.
"Hailey, I never cheated on you, emotionally or physically," he told her. "I wouldn't do that, ever."
"I trust you," she told him honestly, finally looking at him. "But right now, I'm not sure I believe you."
I am so sorry it has been so long! School has absolutely kicked my butt but I'm also not gonna lie that this one was hard to write, partially from a creative side but also from an episode standpoint.
I can also say that there was also another reason this took so long, and hopefully that reason will be posted soon, so stay tuned.
If you're still with me, thank you! I haven't give up on this story, and seeing how much you all love it makes it easier to write. So, this one is for you all! Hope you enjoyed!
