Jay didn't dare look out the window again, knowing the sun and warm air was taunting him with how perfect it was outside, as he was inside a home that should be filled with nothing but love. But now, it felt more like a sterile house, a place where they slept and showered.

Even if they were sleeping in different beds.

This was never what he wanted, but he knew somewhere along the way, he had broken Hailey's trust. He never slept with Erin, never even thought of it even with all the subtleties she threw his way. He had seen his dad sleep around on his mom, saw what it had done to their marriage and the effect it had on he and Will. He knew Hailey's own upbringing, knew trust didn't come easy for her, all the more reason he never wanted to do anything that would cause her to doubt him.

For now, they would go to work and do their jobs, before coming home and trying to repair the cracks in the foundation. It would be hard on them both, especially him, but he was determined. He wouldn't let her leave, or even think about it, because that would be the thing that absolutely broke him.

"Jay?" she said from the hall, breaking him from his mind.

"Kitchen," he replied, and seconds later, she appeared, hands working to pull her hair back into a ponytail. He silently slid the coffee cup across the island, a peace offering of sorts, and it managed to work as he got a smile in return, one of those that she reserved only for him.

"Thanks," she replied, her eyes meeting his briefly before breaking away, spotting her gun and badge sitting on the counter beside his own. "I wondered where those were this morning."

The last sentence was mumbled under her breath, but she knew he caught it, as her eyes shot back up to meet his, a twinge of regret hidden beneath them.

"I'm sorry," they managed to say at the same time, smiling despite the awkwardness in their kitchen.

"I'm sorry," Jay repeated. "Force of habit."

It was a habit that was engrained in them from the day they moved in together, whoever got up first usually grabbed the other's gun and badge.

"It's okay," Hailey answered, her voice soft. "I should have known you would have done that, you always do. Stupid hormones."

Jay's head shot up at that comment, not wanting to voice his train of thought. Too many times had they been disappointed, and it would be fate that would have dropped this into their laps at a time like this. Hailey was quick to notice her slip up, surprised eyes meeting surprised eyes before she bit her lip and shook her head.

"I started my period yesterday," she told him, guilt in her voice for leading him on for the five seconds between her last words.

For a brief moment, the awkward tension vanished as they stood there, two people trying for a baby. In the back of their minds, they knew the chances of Hailey being pregnant were slim since they hadn't shared the same bed in close to two months, with the exception of one night a few weeks back after a hard case. They didn't regret it, but they both stayed quiet about the fact that maybe it could happen.

But now, they were back to where they had been, what was their new normal, despite them both hating it. Jay didn't know, but Hailey cried when she realized she started her period, knowing this would be another in a long list of disappointment. It had been almost a year, and the questions were beginning to plague her mind.

"Are you okay?" Jay asked. He knew she was taking this hard, had been every single time they got some sign that she wasn't pregnant. Maybe it was the universe's way of saying not now, that they have enough on their plate.

"I don't know," she said softly. "It's just disappointing."

Jay didn't speak, couldn't but all he felt was right to do was walk around to her, pulling her in close to him. He felt her arms immediately wrap around him, her face buried in his chest as he kissed the top of her head. Their walls were down, and right now, all of the problems seemed to melt away, because they seemed small compared to this. This was a line of disappointment that started before their current problems, and they both knew how heavily this was weighing on the other.

Before either could say anything else, their phones started going off. They stepped apart, both grabbing their work phones and moving across the room from each other, a system they'd put in place when they both got called in. Voight was on the other line with Hailey while Al called Jay, both conversations lasting mere seconds before they hung up, grabbing everything they needed and rushing out the door.


The events of the morning had become both a blur and a movie that played over and over in his head, and now, staring at Hailey with blood over most of her shirt, he couldn't process much of it. He could still hear her voice from the drive over, begging and pleading with the little girl in her arms to hold on, that they were almost to the hospital and they would do everything they could.

She seemed to avoid everyone and everything, him included, as they waited for someone to give them some kind of update. He offered to come get her if he heard anything, to let her have a chance to wash the blood off her forehead and arms, but she refused. Jay couldn't blame her, because he would have done the exact same thing.

Finally, he saw his brother approaching him, giving him a chance to focus on something other than the near catatonic state Hailey seemed to be slipping into. Later he would make sure she was alright, get her a new shirt and throw this one away, but now they had a job to do.

"She's in bad shape," Will said, nodding his head in a way that Jay knew meant "walk with me". Will did that a lot whenever he came to bug him at Med, and it was engrained in him by now. "But we're doing everything we can."

"What are the odds?" Hailey asked, voicing the question that was on the tip of his tongue. Will glanced back at his brother's wife, the look on Hailey's face almost pleading Will to tell her something good.

"Like I said, we're doing everything we can," Will repeated, his doctor voice present.

"We know," Jay jumped in. "What about the other two victims? Are they okay?"

Will returned the file he had to the nurse, before verbalizing what he implied earlier.

"Walk with me," he told them both, leading them further back into the ED. "James Pell, the bullet grazed his leg. He's fine, we're just finishing up some paperwork."

"Hey, what about the other victim?"

The look Will gave him told him all he needed to know as he cursed himself for even asking.

"She didn't make it, dead on arrival," he told them before entering the small room. He briefly glanced at Hailey, both of them knowing this just got harder with one dead.

"I gotta sign the papers, or can I go now?" the man asked, presumably this James Pell that his brother just mentioned.

"Just sit tight," Will told him before leaving them alone.

"Mr. Pell, we'd like to talk to you about what happened earlier today," Hailey asked, taking the lead here.

"I got shot in the leg, that's what happened," Pell answered, and Jay already had a feeling this guy would be difficult.

"Did you see the men who shot you?" Jay asked.

"No," he answered as Hailey pressed on, picking up where he left off.

"Not even a quick glimpse?" she asked before Pell stopped them both.

"Look, Officer, I was just involved in a traumatic incident," he explained. "I'm still in a state of shock. So, please, no more questions."

"All right," she said, backing off the guy. "We'll get your contact information. Call you later on."

Pell just nodded somewhat grateful. Jay still had a bad feeling about the guy, but he said it himself, he could still be in shock. They left the room without another word, stopping to tell the nurse outside the room they needed whatever contact info was listed as Hailey followed, her body language reverting back to the state she was in minutes before.

"Hey," he said, turning towards her as she did the same. "We're like a minute from the house. Do you want to stop for coffee at the café down the block and I'll drop you off to change?"

He knew how she got when this happened, she shut down, and right now he could see she needed a plan, one he was happy to give her.

"Yeah," she answered. "That sounds perfect."

Jay could hear the relief in her voice, and he was glad he could help, even if just for a second, and give her some sense of normalcy, to get them both back on track with this case. Maybe this could be it, this could be the turn-around point that would help them get back to normal, or somewhat normal. Whatever it may be, he craved it, because he had seen glimpses of a life without Hailey, and he didn't like it at all.


Voight's words were still ringing in his head and somewhere in his mind, he kept hoping that it wasn't true, that it couldn't be true, that there was another option where the bullet that hit Morgan didn't come from his gun.

But he knew that was impossible, because bullets don't lie, and now as he sat in his truck, all he could do was wait and pray that Hailey would stick by him. It was already bad enough that the guilt about Morgan was pressing on him, near suffocating him that he knew he wouldn't survive if Hailey pulled away.

The sound of the door opening caused his head to turn, spotting Hailey climb into the passenger seat. This entire day was too much and he felt himself being pulled under the surface.

"Hey what's wrong?" she asked, closing the door behind her. She turned in her seat quickly, bringing her legs up to completely face him in the tiny space she was in.

"I shot her," he said without warning, needing to get the words out. "I shot Morgan."

"Jay," she said softly, her eyes filling with the tears he almost wished he had.

"Gun barrels don't lie," he repeated from earlier. "Shooting team is calling me in later, IRT maybe. And everything with these auditors, I…"

"Jay," Hailey said. "Babe, breathe."

It was then he realized that he was nearly hyperventilating and could sense the impending panic attack coming on. He just stared back at Hailey, watching her own chest rise and fall as he tried to mimic her. She had sensed and coached enough of his panic attacks that all it took was one word and one look.

Hours could have passed before he felt slightly calmer. His mind was still going a mile a minute and he knew it wouldn't stop until this case was over, maybe. Before she got here, he prayed like hell that she would be okay, because he didn't dare thing about what would happen if she wasn't.

"Tell me exactly what happened," she said calmly. "Who told you?"

"Voight called me into his office," he told her, answering her question. "Said he talked to ballistics, and the bullet that hit Morgan was a nine-millimeter. Bangers were firing .45s and it couldn't have been them. Gun got tested and it was a match."

"What's the next step?" she asked. In a way, he was glad for the questions, and she knew exactly what she was doing in asking them.

"I talk to everyone and we hope I don't get fired or arrested."

"That isn't going to happen," Hailey quickly said. "You know that. You did not purposely shoot her, you didn't even know that daycare center was there, so there was absolutely no way you knew what could happen."

"But Hails," he began before she cut him off.

"Here's the plan. You don't talk to anyone but me and Voight."

"Will knows," he interrupted.

"Or Will," she amended. "You have nothing to worry about if all of that is true. You're a good cop Jay, the best I know, and there is no way that all would have happened on purpose. It was an accident and they can't charge you for that."

Everything she was saying was true, he knew that deep down, but it didn't help that there was still that voice in his head, that little shred of doubt that maybe this would be his last case and that the only time he would see his wife was in a visiting room at Stateville.

"Everything is going to be okay," she told him. "I've got your back, and so does this team."

"Are we going to be okay?" he asked, his voice small and scared. He needed her to say it, say something to prepare himself for the worst, because he wasn't sure what would break him: Morgan dying or Hailey leaving.

"Yes," Hailey said, and that was all he needed. He would stay strong, for her, for their marriage, and use that one word as motivation to see the light at the end of the tunnel.


Just when he felt like the day couldn't be any worse, of course it got worse.

Kim's words cut him like a knife and after that, all he needed to do was get to Med. Will told him she would be fine, and now? He wasn't sure what he would say when he got to Med, but he needed to hear it from Will.

The drive was never ending, and he would probably get his ass handed to him for doing a million things he probably shouldn't, but he could bring himself to care. Jay wasn't sure where he parked, all he knew was that he needed to get to the ED. A few nurses asked him if he was okay, but he ignored them all in his search for Will.

He found his brother in the middle of the ED, and he could see the realization on Will's face as he made his way over.

"I was just about to call you," Will said and Jay instantly hated that he was using the voice he used with patients and their families.

"You said she was gonna make it," Jay interrupted but before he could finish, he felt Will's hand on his arm, dragging him into an empty room.

"Hey," Will tried, and Jay could sense he was trying to calm him down. But this wasn't going to work.

"You said she was gonna…" Jay tried again before Will interrupted this time.

"Hey, I said she had a chance, okay?" Will said. "She was in bad shape, lost too much blood."

"I know," he sighed. He knew Will did all he could, and that gunshot wounds were finicky, and all the praying in the world may not have enough.

"There's only so much we can do," Will tried once more, but Jay couldn't take it anymore. Everything was becoming too much. The feeling like he was drowning was back and he felt the beginning of a panic attack, and all he needed in that moment

"I know," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry," his brother said but words were no longer processing. Across the ED, he saw Morgan's parents, and something seemed to snap. His feet carried him out of the room, wanting to talk to them, wanting to apologize. But at the last second, he bailed. He couldn't face them, not yet.

"Hey," he heard Will say, but as quickly as he got to Med, he needed to get out, he needed to find Hailey, needed someone to ground him.

He really needed this day to be over.

Jay tried to call Hailey, but the way his hands shook trying to grip his phone was worrisome. It hadn't been this bad since he got home from Afghanistan, and it just made the panic rise inside of him.

In the first good thing of the day, he spotted his truck when he reached the lot outside of Med. He subconsciously left the lights on, and it was maybe a miracle no one had stolen his truck. As he slid into the seat, he just let his head fall back against the headrest, taking a second to just breathe, but even that seemed to be hard.

He tried once more to call Hailey, briefly remembering he could just use the commands on his phone, and soon after he heard her voice filling the cab of his truck.

"Jay?" she asked, her voice soft. He closed his eyes, just letting the sound of her saying his name fall over him, something good that could come out of today.

"Jay are you okay?" she asked, and he realized then he wasn't saying anything.

"Yeah," he answered, his voice rougher than normal. "I'm at Med."

The silence on the line was brief, but he could picture her nodding in reply.

"I heard Jay," she finally said. "I'm so sorry."

That's what broke him, when something inside him changed and the weight of everything, this case, Morgan, his marriage, came crashing down on him.

"Hailey," he managed to get out, her name a lifeline to him, something to remind him of who he was and why he did this.

"It's going to be okay," she told him. "Do you want to know how I know?"

"Yes," he breathed out. If he could have some sense from her that it would be alright, that one small aspect of his life was okay, then maybe he could believe it would be.

"Because you are the best cop I know," Hailey said. "Because I have your back, every single second, and I trust you with my life. I know things are rough right now with us, but that doesn't change the fact that I trust you, Jay."

Her words, while some was more of a harsh truth, he knew she was telling the truth. Everything was so wrong, so messed up, but that was enough to give him a little bit of hope.

"I know, babe," he finally said. "I know."


"You wanted to see me?" Jay asked, poking his head into his boss's office. Voight just motioned him in without saying much else, Jay taking the silent directive to close the door behind him.

"Talked to Alderman Price today," Voight began, setting the file down on his desk to look him in the eye. "He is going to back off on you."

The sigh of relief coming from Jay was both expected and unexpected. He didn't realize how much this was weighing on him until now, but knowing that he wouldn't lose his job, or Hailey, or his sanity. It may be another death he had to carry, but there was some comfort in knowing it was a freak thing, that it was not intentional.

"Thank god," he mumbled, his head falling into his hands. "Do I dare ask how this happened?"

"Let's just say that Price was persuaded," Voight told him cryptically. "That any future political moves could be impacted."

Jay just nodded, understanding of his boss's words. He got it now, how this unit worked, how Voight worked. His younger self, a somewhat naïve newly minted detective, had issues with the way Voight worked, because his Army days had trained him to see the world in black and white. But the longer he had stuck around, the more he began to realize the nitty gritty of Chicago politics, that the majority of things happened behind closed doors in hushed conversations. At times, he didn't like it, but it had, over the years, become easier to accept.

A knock on the door interrupted the silence, both men turning their heads to see who it was. The doorknob turned slightly, and Jay saw a peak of blonde hair that had fallen from her ponytail as his body went rigid.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked, her eyes locking with his own briefly before looking back at Voight.

"Yeah come in," Voight told her, and just like that, Jay assumed the conversation was over.

But man was he wrong.

"Stay, Halstead," Voight told him, the tone of his voice telling him something was up. He didn't dare look at Hailey for fear Voight would figure it all out, but it helped that she walked behind him to the empty chair on his left.

The older man looked at them both, and Jay was sure this was how it felt to be in an interrogation room with Hank Voight. Every hair on his body stood up, his nerves through the roof as he tried to figure out why he needed to talk to them both. The case was closed, they were getting into a routine with being partners, all while keeping what felt like the biggest secret ever. Their boss casually leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he continued to stare them down.

"So, when were you going to tell me?" he asked, and it was then that Jay looked at his wife, silently letting her take the lead on all of this.

"Tell you what?" Hailey asked, looking back at Voight.

"That you're married," he stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Jay just leaned back, not even trying to fuss with hiding it. He could hear Hailey sigh, knowing that she was feeling the same way.

"How long have you known?" she asked him. The secret was out, and they both knew it would happen sooner or later, especially now that Erin had left, and Voight had paired them together.

"Since the day you transferred in," he told them, something of a smirk on his face. "I was just hoping one of you would tell me."

"It's not that we were keeping it some secret," Jay said. "We just didn't know how to explain it."

"A lot has happened lately," Hailey chimed in. "And we talked about it and wanted to wait for the dust to settle."

They watched as Hank just nodded before sitting back up, his arms resting on his desk.

"Part of me was waiting for one of you to slip up," Voight said. "Because I wanted to see if you two could work together, despite being married, before I decide to shuffle up partnerships across the unit."

"And?" Jay asked, suddenly needing to know if there would be more changes in his life.

"I'm going to leave it be for now," he told them. "But one slip up, and one of you is done. Is that clear?"

They both just nodded before looking at each other, clear relief on their faces knowing that Voight knows, that they didn't have to keep this under wraps. They may have to for the sake of their unit, but it was Voight they were the most worried about.

"I do have one question," he said, breaking their attention from the other as they fixated back on their boss. "How did you do it?"

"What do you mean?" Hailey asked, and Jay was equally as confused by the statement.

"I'll be honest with you both," Voight said. "I didn't know you were married until I got your file, Hailey and found Jay listed as your beneficiary. I'll tell you this, it's buried deep, and considering you two have never seemed to have crossed paths until now? I'm not sure anyone would have known."

Until he mentioned it, Hailey forgot Jay was listed as a beneficiary, that he got everything in the event something happened to her. Being married will do that to you, you just assume everything gets left to your spouse in the event something happens. But Voight was right, in the nearly six years they've been together and the four they've been married, the only time they've managed to cross paths was the night Jay asked her out. It wasn't uncommon for cops to be married to one another, they've met plenty on the job, but it took something special to manage the careers they've built themselves that has given them both a spot in one of the most elite units of the department.

"So, what now?" Hailey asked, and Jay could sense her nerves. She just got here, so she would be the first to go and Jay knew what this opportunity meant to her. Even if she got a few months under her belt, she would be hit with an offer left and right. Hailey was a damn good cop, the kind most would kill for to have in their units, and he knew Voight knew that as well.

"I'm going to overlook it, because you're a damn good cop, Hailey," Voight told her, unknowingly echoing Jay's thoughts. "But with Woods sniffing around and all these new reform programs, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep one of you here if the higher ups find out."

"What's the plan?" Jay asked. They needed something, something concrete that could protect them all, and if anyone could pull this off, having a married couple who happen to be partners in the same unit, it was Hank Voight.

"Like I said, the beneficiary paperwork is buried deep in your file Hailey, and I'm confident they would only look in the event something happened, so let's hope it doesn't come to that," Voight explained. "So, for now, it's business as usual. I will let you tell the unit on your time but considering the fact I'm not sure they know either, it may be wise to keep it under wraps, at least until these reform programs and changes die down."

"Do you think they will?" Hailey asked.

"I've been around here long enough to know that it's only a matter of time until another scandal erupts," he told them. "So, let's not make it the two of you."


His boss seemed to have some direct line to his mind, as he once again replayed every word from the second conversation he had in Voight's office for the day. They were on repeat in his mind the entire time he stood behind Price at that press conference. While he should have felt relieved that Voight knew about he and Hailey, there was an added amount of pressure to them now.

But it also motivated him even more to fix everything, because he refused to let them bring their personal life into the job, to mess everything up. Even now, as he walked back towards his car, he tried to come up with something, anything, that he could do or say to change it all. This case had shifted something inside them, he could feel it, and he knew he wasn't alone, that Hailey felt it too.

"Hey," he heard Hailey say before he saw her. The tiny bit of disappointment inside of him over the fact that she wasn't at the press conference was gone when he saw the look on her face. She was upset she couldn't be here, but that wasn't her fault. They had other cases, and he knew she had been working overtime this past week trying to also wrap up a Robbery-Homicide case.

"Hey," he echoed, as it was all he could really say in the moment.

"Sorry," Hailey apologized, quickly falling into step with him. "I got here as fast as I could. It's over?"

"Yeah, just ended," he told her, his eyes falling to the ground. Jay wanted to say more, but she jumped in before he could.

"How'd it go?"

That was the question of the hour, of the case if he was honest. Everything was so messed up, so wrong, and he was sure that if it wasn't for Hailey, despite everything going on, he would have gone off the deep end much earlier. If he was honest, he got over Erin leaving months ago. But the tension and distance between he and Hailey was what kept him up at night.

"It was good," he finally answered, voicing his feelings before he ever grasped them. He looked over at Hailey, the concern and questioning clear in her eyes.

"Really good, actually," Jay elaborated, knowing she would pry until he gave her a straight answer. He also couldn't lie to her, had never been able to. "Price was very gracious. I'm not really sure what prompted all this, but…"

"Hey, take yes for an answer," she cut him off as the stood in front of his Jeep. It was a weird feeling, everything was, but the fact that he wasn't here on official business, just stood far enough in the background of the press conference to show that he was innocent, while protecting him too. It was unlike anything he had experience in all his years here, but the department needed a good look, and this was the best they could do.

There was silence between them as they stared at each other. Words had never been hard for either of them, but right now, he was afraid if he opened his mouth, the wrong thing would come out, and that could only put more distance between them.

"And you?" Hailey asked, dropping her arms from where they were crossed in front of her body. "Are you okay?"

Jay just looked down, and he was surprised to see her wedding band on. The engagement ring was gone, the simple silver band remaining. It was the first time she had worn it by itself around him, at work. He knew she wore it all the time back in Robbery-Homicide, had it on the day she waltzed into the bank. But when she first started working in Intelligence, her finger was bare.

Now it was back, and maybe he should take that as a sign that everything would be okay. It was all he needed for now.

"I don't know," he told her honestly. "I don't think I've fully processed it yet. In all my years, back since I was in the Army, I've never hit a civilian. And now, I just don't know what to do."

It was always easy to open up to Hailey, had been from the moment he met her, and the events of the past few days lit a fire in him, slowly burning but not yet ignited. He could see the divide between them, could feel it both at home and at work. For a brief second, he was worried he would lose his job, his life and maybe even Hailey. It was when he realized the last one was the one thing he couldn't stand to lose when he realized he had to do something.

What that was, he didn't know yet. All he knew was that he would have to try, to show Hailey that he could be the man she married, the man she vowed to spend the rest of her life with, for the good and the bad, right and wrong.

For better or for worse.

"Talk to Morgan's mother yet?" Hailey said, interrupting his thoughts. He looked back at her, as best he could with the sun glaring into his eyes. He tried not to think about how it managed to make her blonde hair even brighter, giving it an ethereal effect.

"No," he answered. "I don't think I'm ready."

"Oh, babe," she said, shaking her head lightly. "You're never gonna be ready. You just have to do it."

Her words had somewhat of a double meaning to him, even if she didn't intend to do it. He would just have to do it, to try and fix their marriage and get back to the place they were before.

"I'll see you at home," she said softy, her hand reaching out to grasp his briefly. It shouldn't have caused him to realize this was the first time she had touched him since that night, that she initiated any contact, and that only fueled the fire inside of him.


The sight of his house was a welcome one after the past 24 hours. The press conference, Voight finding out they were married, all on top of the entire case; all he wanted to do was sleep for the next two days, but he knew that wasn't possible.

The car keys on the entry table told him she was home, and that would always be his first priority. Jay could see the stress eating away at her, and while he was the cause of it, he would make damn sure it didn't continue to happen. Hailey had kept her worries buried deep down during this case, knowing he needed to support, but he couldn't let her think he had forgotten everything else.

"Hailey!" Jay called out, letting her know he was both home and looking for her.

"In here," he heard, her voice soft and quiet, a clue that she was close to the entry way, probably curled up on the couch in the back of the house. Sure enough, that's where he found her, a bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

"Hey," he said softly, grabbing an extra glass on the way to her. The tension was thick as he poured himself a glass before settling down on the couch beside her.

He didn't know what to say, or even where to begin. Their case was closed, the adrenaline they had been running on was gone, and it just left themselves and a million questions inside them. He knew her well enough that she could just stay silent until he was forced to end it, as she usually did when his emotions steeped for too long.

"I returned Morgan's necklace to her mom," Jay said, his eyes staring down at the ground. "She didn't say anything."

"No offense, but you're the probably the last person she expected to see, maybe even wanted to see," she said. Jay just nodded, because even as her words stung a little, it was the truth. His actions lately had been all over the place, and while he knew he didn't intend to kill that little girl, he would still feel responsible for the rest of his life.

"I deserve it," he whispered. Jay wasn't sure Hailey heard him, but he soon felt her shift on the couch to move closer to him. The boundaries they had seemed to crumble, but it was hard to give into it, knowing there were still things to talk through.

"No, you don't Jay," Hailey said, her voice soft in that way she only did with him. "I know things have been hard lately, but do not think for one second that you shot her, that you did this, because you didn't. And you are too good of a man to have to carry around that burden for the rest of your life.

"But I will," he said, finally looking up to look at her. He could see the tears forming in her eyes as he felt his own slip down her face. "The bullet from my gun killed her. That's a fact. The details don't matter."

"Yes, they do," she told him, her hand reaching out to settle on his forearm, squeezing lightly. "You do not deserve this."

Jay just nodded, knowing that arguing with her would go in circles. He appreciated her trying to help, he really did, but he just wasn't in the headspace to handle this right now.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, realizing that all of this was being weighed down by what was going on at home, with them. They hadn't talked about it since Erin left, and getting thrown into this new partnership with each other didn't help the situation. But they couldn't say anything, not without telling the unit they were married. So, here they were, living this double life where they were partners on the job, working well with each other, while at home, they were a wreck.

"I know things haven't been normal, or good for that matter, but I just don't know what to do."

That was the truth, and he needed to tell her. Now seemed like as good a time as any, as tomorrow they had to go back to work, back pretending like they were only partners, like their life outside of the CPD wasn't the way it was, except now, their boss knew, and the added pressure hung over them.

"Me neither," Hailey told him. "There wasn't ever a good time to bring it up, but we have to talk about it sooner rather than later."

Jay looked up at her then, hoping that she could see how sorry he was, how gutted he was by all of this, not knowing how it would affect them, or how to fix it. Hailey just stared back at him, before moving backwards and that's when he got scared, scared that he had fucked up beyond repair, that there was no way back from this.

"Lift up your shirt," she told him suddenly, her hands reaching for the hem of his shirt. She pulled his shirt up to reveal his ribcage, her fingers tracing the black ink that stood out on his side, the ink below his mother's birthday.

"This," she told him, tapping the spot gently. "This is the most important thing to me. I don't ever want you to think this job, or my place in Intelligence, or whatever else comes our way, is more important than that. Because it's not."

"Hailey," he tried before she shut him up.

"You and I both grew up with parents whose marriages were tough. I told myself the day I married you I wouldn't let that happen to us, and I still mean that. So, if this is going to work, I need you to be honest with me."

He was transported back to the day he got it. She had talked him into it, remembering something he said once about how when he got his mother's tattoo, he envisioned doing the same for his future wife, his kids, important dates. And just like he expected, she went with him, watching as another important date in his life got added to his body, permanently.

June 22, 2013, their wedding day.

It was a calming sensation of sorts to feel her fingertips trace over the lines, almost like she was helping him to remember, not that he needed it. Every second of that day was etched into his memory, and he hoped he would never lose it.

"Total honesty," he whispered, opening his eyes that had closed at some point to find her blue ones staring back.

"Total honesty," she repeated back to him before standing up, taking his hand in his. He could tell where she was going before she took than a few steps.

"Hailey…" he began. As much as he wanted to be back in their bed with her, he didn't want this conversation to be the one that led them back together.

"I know," she replied, always knowing what he was thinking. "But I think we both need this tonight. After today, who knows what will happen tomorrow? There's a lot to talk about, but we are both exhausted, and I know you haven't been sleeping well."

She was right, he wasn't sleeping well, and not because of the case, but the ever-present tension that always seemed to be brewing between them.

"Thank you," he whispered. It was a small gesture, and their conversation didn't magically fix the problems between the. But he hoped it was a start, and tomorrow they could wake up maybe feeling better, a little lighter. But for tonight, his body could pretend things were okay, even for one night, to allow them both the sleep the desperately craved.

There was one thing he knew in that moment, and that was neither of them was giving up. Everything with Erin and Intelligence and now this case was still around, but it wouldn't end them. If he was honest, Jay wasn't sure anything could end them, and that belief was something he would hold onto for as long as he needed, the belief would be his motivation to make himself better for the sake of their marriage, but more important, for Hailey.


It is still Wednesday! Did you guys think i would forget? Things are starting to move as we started to delve into season 5, but quick note, I likely won't do a chapter for every episode, but i will for those that have a heavy Jay/Hailey storyline. Hints are also starting to drop about where this will go, so stay tuned!

Hope everyone is safe and alright, and I hope these stories can bring a little happy to your days!