ALRIGHT!

Life is confusing and hard. Writing is fun, but I am as consistent at writing as I am at trying to find a new job or develop useful skills... and you all know how consistent I am at writing. I hope you enjoy, I hope that it's a story that makes you laugh and feel feelings, and I hope that people out there reading this will actually feel a sense of fulfillment from this chapter. I took a little more time than usual, trying to make this one really good. Lemme know what you think- I read every review and try to take your feedback into account!

To those people that did review!

-Yup, I'm dramatic! Love me some Angst! Percabeth Angst is my bread and butter!

-You're angry at Thalia? Good! Perhaps she's angry, too! We all do stupid things when we're angry. I like to think that's incentive to pick our battles.

-Not enough Avengers, or not enough PJO characters? Well, gosh. That sucks!

-Yes, I can be passive aggressive! It's a shiny quality of mine that I can even display through my writing skills! Perhaps you may notice my word choices are a bit on the side of over-extensive? Unnecessary? Repetitive? Strange and weird? Why, yes! Yes they are! Thank you for noticing!

Should I start a blog? I could make BANK starting a blog, huh?

ONTO THE STORY. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE RANT!


Percy:

The grey van was parked in an alley three blocks from Scott's apartment. Everything about it was inconspicuous and screamed 'utility vehicle-' a ladder on the roof, hoses and tools mounted to the sides, and even the tags were all correctly indicative of a van you'd see anywhere in a city like San Francisco.

But it was too nice. No chipped paint. No bumper stickers asking you to 'rate my driving' or decals for a company. No 1-800 number plastered to the side. Natasha would've bagged this sloppy work in no time.

As Percy sat beneath an intense light and magnifying glass, he chose not to voice his concerns to Scott. The only guy in the van.

"Subject is approximately half an inch tall, wearing blue- oh, you said weighing. I thought that would be a weird thing to ask."

Scott had horribly large pores, and Percy wished he could unsee them. Sadly, he was going to have to endure this 'check-up' if he wanted to get back to his normal size. After three days of surfing down the coast on the back of a wild salmon, racking his brain to just remember the guy Sam had been investigating, and making a deal with the owners of the AntMan suit, Percy was itching to take a shower, change his clothes, and get his head out of the fishbowl.

"Oh, so now you wanna know what he's wearing." Scott said again into his earpiece, rolling his eyes. The movement shook the camera that had been mounted to his head, and even in his smaller form Percy heard a loud and angry reprimand come from the phone call.

"This is dumb." Percy said, though he couldn't be heard. "I feel like a frog, about to be dissected."

"You might be, if these scientists find some sort of anomaly from your transformation." Daedalus informed him. From his place on the table, Percy inspected his surroundings and decided he could take Scott, even at his small size, and escape.

"That would defeat the purpose of seeing how I felt after I get back to regular size." Percy grumbled to his AI. Did he mention that the guys making Scott do this checkup we're going to make Percy go through another checkup after getting him back to full size? "What a pain."

"Scientists with this sort of opportunity would be foolish not to take notes." Daedalus lectured. "Without the knowledge that only experience can gather, science would be nothing but theory untested."

Percy rolled his eyes. "Admit to me you stole that phrase from a poster you saw in a high school classroom." He demanded, checking and re-checking his helmet frequency readings. He didn't want any surprises for after he got big again- if he could keep the next checkup to under five minutes, he would.

Police frequencies were pretty dead. Nothing Federal or International, either. The super-secret Avenger frequency that bounced between Stark businesses wasn't playing anything but E-Z listening LoFi. Percy was glad to hear a familiar tune. Maybe they turned that music on for him. The thought gave him strength.

"My friends are telling me the helmet you're wearing must be special." Scott said, writing in his notebook as he spoke. "When you shrink, the condensing atoms mess with the chemistry of the brain. You're lucky you had- wait, I shouldn't be repeating this to him?"

Percy shook his head anxiously. "I'm glad the fishbowl was good for something." He mumbled to himself. "But when can I get out of it?"

"Okay!" Scott said, putting his pen down and pushing away from the table. His face looked flushed, like he'd just heard his teacher yell 'pencils down' after a quiz he hadn't studied for. "Now that that's out of the way, I can finally give you this."

Scott did not place a shrunken suit on the table. Instead, some kind of silver device with a blue center, still much larger than Percy, was placed on the desk.

Percy called Scott, Scott picked up. "What is this?" He asked, disbelieving. "I have to endure your friend's stupid doctors appointment and don't even get to grow?"

"It's a biggering disc." Scott explained.

Percy blinked. "... What did you say?"

Scott elaborated further. "When I use the suit, I don't have any weapons. Instead, Ha- the guy who made the suit that is, made these, too." He picked it up, flipping it around so Percy could see it all. He pointed at the blue center. "I'll set it on the ground, you hit the center of it as hard as you can."

Percy shifted in his boots, looking down over the edge of the table. The bottom of the van sure looked like a long way down. "This is safe, right?"

"Totally." Scott said, placing the device on the ground and taking a few steps back. "Just make sure you hit it with enough force to break it- I usually have to throw it pretty hard to make it work."

Percy was glad he didn't have a fear of heights. He wouldn't know what to do. Anyone would still be scared, though.

No time to hesitate, Percy ran and jumped, feeling the air rush past his helmet as he fell.

'Enough force to break it.' That's what Scott had said.

Percy launched his hydrowire from both gauntlets, the claws landing on either side of the device. He pulled with all his might, propelling himself even faster. He closed his eyes before he hit his target.

Pain shot through his legs and the sound of blood roaring in his ears made Percy want to vomit. It wasn't anything like shrinking- the cold water and muted noises as his body had dissolved and reassembled. This was hot. Percy's body was roasting.

Then, he hit his head on the side of the van with a loud 'crack!' His helmet smushed against his face as every part of his body made contact with the van floor.

"My head…" Percy said, reaching to the back of his neck and retracting the fishbowl from off of his head. Light filtered in from the van's windshield, casting long shadows as the late afternoon began to take hold. Time had seemed different in miniature.

Now, Percy was back to full size.

A hand grabbed under his arm, and Scott helped him to his feet. Percy felt beyond winded.

"Here." Scott said, handing Percy something yellow. "Lemon wedges. Keeps your mind… loosens it up, I guess."

Percy placed one in his mouth, taking Scott's word for it. The sourness loosened something- Percy heard a few choice words leave his mouth he didn't know he'd been keeping in.

Scott helped him sit, then started speaking while Percy regained his faculties. "I didn't know you had skin exposed- growing and shrinking is such a weird science, I didn't think it'd be safe." He said, grabbing and slightly squeezing Percy's arm muscles. "This is… crazy."

"Whatever, dude." Percy said, biting the lemon in his mouth. "Next time… actually, screw that. I'll leave the shrinking to you."

Scott pulled out some kind of bottle and began spraying down Percy. He assumed it was some sciency antiseptic or something, but the scent of lavender and vanilla invaded Percy's nostrils. Had to be Frebreeze.

"I don't think I'll be able to help you next time." Scott said, continuing to spray Percy down from head to toe. "It was hard enough to convince the old man to help you once."

Percy held his hand out, stopping the liquid aerosol from leaving the can. The smell of Frebreeze and the taste of lemon were not combining well. Scott frowned, shaking the can and holding to his ear. "That's weird. This is a new can."

Percy saw a bottle of water in the cup holder by the driver's seat. He lifted his hand and the bottle unscrewed itself, water flowing in a fast stream right into Percy's mouth. The liquid hit his face, splashing him and getting his hair wet. The sensation was heavenly. Scott jumped in his seat.

"That's my schtick." Percy said in way of explanation, still out of breath. He'd been dangerously close to being dehydrated- his powers let him go without water for a longer period of time than most people, but even he had been close to hitting his limit. His stomach moaned loudly, too, begging for anything. "You mentioned soup earlier, right?"

Scott:

Scott had been part of dozens of experiments that the Pym's had planned out in their lab. He'd been part of making several breakthroughs regarding applications of the Pym particle, reconstructing new features to the AntMan suit to increase safety and maneuverability, and was on the verge to getting the suit to maybe, just maybe, do something even more wicked awesome than just shrinking and controlling ants.

None of them had led to as weird a conversation as the one he was having with Percy. "So you were just in Alaska, following up on some kind of lead that you can't tell us about, and get shrunk- just like that?" Scott asked, a warm styrofoam bowl of clam chowder in his hands. The notebook that Hank had given him, along with clear instructions to write down everything Percy said, was on the table, shoved between some blank monitors. He wasn't sure he wanted to be writing down what Percy was talking about, eat, and focus on the Pym's through his earpiece all at the same time.

Besides, Hank and Hope would both be either recording the conversation in the van, or taking notes themselves. Probably both. Scott could leave the science to the scientists. Mild-mannered Scott Lang was just an Electrical Engineer, as well as a well-renown burglar (which… made it hard to hold a job). He'd try his best, instead, to figure out what kinda toys Percy was working with.

"Aftershock of some sort from the Convergence a few years back." Percy supplied easily, shoving saltines in his mouth and slurping chicken noodle soup. Scott could guess the guy wasn't used to skipping meals. "All I did was walk through a meadow and bang- the trees looked a lot bigger. Took me a second to figure out I was just a lot shorter."

"Ask him why he didn't think to call out to any of the Avengers." Hank demanded.

"Why not call in the Avengers? I mean, you're all pretty tight, right?" Scott slipped the question in more casually than Hank had phrased it. He could imagine the Pym's rolling their eyes at his efforts to seem more friendly. They did that a lot.

But c'mon- friendliness might just buy them quiet points. The friendlier they were, the less likely Percy was to ever lead the rest of the Avengers- Stark included -to their little patch of Earth in Cali. Hank cared about that.

Percy shook his head. "Your tech was the only solution- no way anyone else could… enlarge me, I guess, but the guy who knew how to shrink, right?" Percy said, pointing at Scott with the spoon in his hand. He took another big bite of his noodles, slurping them up in a way that made Scott think of Cassie. Parental instincts were going to kick in if any of the broth started dripping from Percy's chin. He'd have to resist the urge to wipe it off for him.

"My 'tech,'" Hank said steadily. "is not for fixing the Avenger's mistakes."

Scott didn't repeat that back to Percy. Instead, he asked his own questions. "How did you manage to get from Alaska to San Francisco in just three days, as you claim?" He genuinely asked, hoping to hear a few juicy details on… something mechanical. Any of his toys would be cool to hear about- Scott was sure he had a bunch of them. "At that size, moving fast isn't much of an option."

Percy smiled into his soup. "Fish riding- I got a salmon to carry me all the way to the Bay."

"Shut up." Scott said, unconvinced but intrigued. "Salmon? Are you a... fish... whisperer?"

"Something like that." Percy said. "What about you? Part of the reason you're 'AntMan' is cuz you control them, right?"

"Don't answer that, Scott." Hank warned. "Don't say anything about the suit, or the ants."

Percy didn't seem to mind not getting an answer. He cleared his bowl, then reached for the other one Scott had grabbed from the Pym's house before leaving. Percy began scarfing that one down with the same desperation as the one before.

"Ask him about the helmet. What's it made of?" Hank asked.

'Won't that clue him in that the helmet is important to the science of shrinking?' Scott thought. He asked it anyway. It's not like Hank was gonna pay him for this Q&A, anyways.

"That's a shiny helmet you had on… what's it made of?" Scott asked, hopefully inconspicuously.

"Reinforced glass, mostly. Not as much metal as an Iron Man helmet- but it keeps my face hidden." Percy responded.

"Is that… like, a priority?" Scott asked.

Percy raised an eyebrow. "Kinda. It isn't like Theseus is someone the public needs to know a lot about."

"Are you the kind of guy who doesn't want the spotlight, or just, like, uncomfortable with…" his question died in his throat when he realized what a stupid question that sounded like, asking an Avenger. Percy looked confused, too. "Forget it. That was stupid to ask-"

"No stupid questions." Percy said.

"I mean, Theseus is in the news all the time now, what with the… giant wave… and the fact you don't show your face while all the other guys in your team seem so… uncovered." Scott elaborated, trying to keep the conversation going. "I mean, is there something you don't want the world to know about you?"

Percy stopped slurping. Scott realized he might be onto something in his ramblings, and he could've sworn that Hope was holding her breath from the other end of the phone call.

Percy nodded. "Yeah, I got a secret or two." He said, acknowledging Scott. "But… I think that'll change, if I can really get the people on my side."

Percy sat up more in the chair, scratching the back of his neck. "Can I ask you something?"

That was normally a question only Cassie asked him. Scott didn't ever answer questions. In the Pym house, he only ever asked. With Luis, Dave, and Kurt the questions were never all that serious. So… what was Scott to an Avenger like Percy?

"Go ahead. I don't think I'll have a good answer, though." He said, already speaking carefully. "But sure, fire away."

Percy's next breath wavered, just a little. "Scott, I know you served time in prison for burglary." He began. "So, after getting out of prison, why become AntMan? What made your… boss, I guess, chose you? Or you chose him, whichever way it went?"

That… wasn't what he expected. At all. Hank's voice gave him a warning though. "Choose your next words carefully."

It was at that moment, Scott didn't see a diehard Avenger like Captain America or Thor- a living legend that saved New York City by flooding it with his mind. He saw himself; an undergrad working at a pastime job to makeup for the money he was lacking to hover himself through college. Percy couldn't have been older than twenty six or twenty seven.

"How long have you been… Avenging?" Scott asked.

He shrugged. "Five or six years now, I guess. I was doing some of this hero stuff since I was-" Percy cut himself off, inspecting Scott's face for something. His green eyes were piercing. "Twelve. Twelve was when I started Avenging. Just not for the Avengers."

"And you wish you'd had an ordinary life, right? No burden of responsibility, or crazy adventures?" Scott guessed.

Percy looked deep in thought, but eventually nodded. "Yeah."

"But you still did the hero thing anyways?" Scott said.

Percy nodded again. "It wasn't always my decision, but I made that choice."

Scott tried to rephrase. "But when it was a choice, you didn't back down?"

"Yeah."

Scott kinda lightly punched Percy's shoulder. "Hey. I'm the same way, man." He said. "When I burgled the company I worked for, it was a hard decision. But I knew that the guys in charge were getting away with a lot more than fraud- they were hurting people." Scott said, remembering the day he'd snooped and learned the truth. It'd been devastating, thinking about how his considerably high paycheck was being siphoned from the people who trusted them to honor the business they were in. "And so… I stopped them. At great personal risk for myself. Cost me years, in fact." He said, thinking of the time Cassie had grown up without him there. "Years I wish I'd been somewhere else."

Percy looked confused again. Scott continued. "I regret what I lost, but I didn't regret what I'd done." He said. "I figured a lot out in prison. I didn't second guess my actions, but I did regret getting caught. I wanted to be someone… someone I could be proud of being."

Silence. Dead silence in the back of a van that probably never had much noise in it to begin with. Now though, Scott felt like he was back to half an inch tall and that if a pin did drop, the noise would be beyond deafening.

"Scott…" Came Hope's whispered word.

"Hmm?" Scott asked, turning his head to look at her. Only, she was miles away. In a lab. In a basement. In a house Scott probably wouldn't be receiving an invitation back to anytime soon after this was done. It kinda killed the moment for him.

Percy, on the other hand, was nodding again. "You think that's why your boss chose you to be AntMan?"

Scott remembered Hank seeing Scott's first burglary as more of a resumé. At least; that's what he'd told him. Hank was being uncharacteristically quiet, though. He let his breath out loudly through his nostrils, smacking his thighs with his empty clam chowder bowl and keeping eye contact with Percy. "No clue. He just needed me to break into a building and steal some stuff."

Percy laughed. It was a warm sound, kinda like the way Cassie giggled but in a masculine way. Scott felt like he was on a kind of hot streak now, so he took a whack at guessing what an Avenger might be bothered by. "Are you thinking about taking off your mask soon?"

A genuine expression of alarm overtook Percy's face. Scott stuck his tongue in his cheek, having absolutely nailed a theory he'd just voiced. "How did you-"

"Oh, c'mon." Scott said, grabbing his (lukewarm) coffee and taking a sip. It was bitter, but he didn't let the taste get to him. Not with an Avenger watching. "I'm Scott Lang. All my blunders are out for the world to see, and look at how well I'm handling it?" He took another swig of water. "But you're Theseus- people already love you, right? You'll be fine."

Percy wordlessly hit a few buttons on one of his gauntlets, then grabbed a few pieces of paper from some kind of feed that was spitting them out. Percy put ten crisp hundred dollar bills on the table, standing from his seat as he did.

Scott just looked at them. Ben Franklin looked like he disapproved of the inside of the van. "What's that?"

"Your consultation fee." Percy said, readjusting his vest and taping a few things into the gauntlets. "As well as thanks for getting me out of the situation I was in." He paused again, and in the blink of an eye Scott realized that Percy's military-esque vest was now a dark blue sweatshirt. He opened his mouth to comment, but no words came to mind.

"Also… I know you meant to say you're handling life well because you're AntMan now, but your apartment isn't telling me the same thing." Percy said, opening the side door to the van and looking out into the street cautiously. He nodded again, this time to himself, before stepping out of the van and onto the city street pavement.

Scott didn't want to say it, because taking money from an Avenger wasn't shameless, but maybe from someone ten years younger than himself felt like it was. Being friendly had totally paid off, though. Hank was going to need to rethink how he treated Scott from now on- like maybe as a real member of the team?

Percy pulled a pair of Aviator sunglasses from where they had been hanging on his sweatshirt, putting them on in the dying light of a summer afternoon. "Also, don't tell your boss yet, but you're an Avenger now." He put his hand on the door to the van, starting to close it. "I'll be in touch."

The words didn't quite catch in Scott's mind until five minutes had passed of him standing in the same spot, with the same self-satisfied smile on his face from giving the Avenger, whom he still wanted to ask questions to, some awesome advice. Then, when they did finally process correctly, Scott's smile turned to terror.

"Scott!"

Scott jumped in his skin at the voice of his girlfriend's father yelling in his ear. "Yes, Doctor Pym." His voice was dry. He cleared his throat, already hopping into the driver's seat and getting ready to leave the alley and take off down the road. "What were you saying?"

"We didn't catch what he said last- what did he say to you?"

Scott found himself looking skyward, praying for a suitable lie to enter his mind, or for lighting to strike him. Whichever would get him out of answering the question.

The only words he found, he nearly yelled in the confines of the van. "I was too nice!"