74. It hurts to see you

The rich cinnamon scent of the tea drifted within Teleute's dwelling from Harry's cup. Savoring the flavor, he smacked his lips and sighed in contentment. This place felt more like home than any place before. He could almost understand one's desire to preserve the feelings though any means necessary.

Mornings at Teleute's place were quiet. It gave him a moment to contemplate in silence. Sirius being gone was really beginning to sink in. His pain was settling to a more mild constant regret.

Living with Teleute gave him long moments of a forgetfulness of sorts. It was a childish giddiness knowing that he lived in the same place as her. This was the stuff of dreams, his child self would be green with envy at his fortune. Still, he couldn't get too comfortable; he didn't want to leech off her. No matter what Teleute said, he felt the need to find his own living space.

Teleute, who sat contently across from him, reached across and gave his cheek a soft caress. There was a thin frown on her soft lips, "None of that, Harry. It isn't leeching to ask for help from people who care deeply for you. And I happen to like having you around here. Do try to keep that tidbit in mind."

Harry leaned into her soft touch. It was welcoming and comforting. "Even so, I do need to get things in order."

Her eyebrows rose in interest, "Oh? What do you plan to do next?"

Harry did not immediately answer. Leaving the Dursleys hadn't been his most thought out plan, but he could not and did not want to turn back. The future was open to him, but he didn't quite know what to do with it. Everything Harry was centered on magic, but that was too vague for him to plan around.

An image of Sirius flashed into his mind. No, magic was not the only thing on his mind. There was anger inside of him now, no matter how much his new place of residence brought a cheer to his heart. If he was honest with himself, this anger wasn't completely new. It bloomed when he learned of his family's end by Tom. Then it burst when he heard of Sirius' end.

Lips thinning, he nearly snarled at the idea that Tom was around doing whatever he wished while his whole family was in the grave. A not small part of him wanted Tom in the same condition.

"What do you think I should do next?"

Teleute rested her chin on top of her folded hands, "Care to be more specific?"

"What should I do about Tom?"

She blinked slowly and nearly made a bewildered expression, "Is there anything to do?"

That annoyed him. It was too casual sounding, like she had seen this all before. That dulled anger felt renewed as he stood up, nearly causing his chair to fall. "I can't just do nothing!"

"Harry," she began with a very unimpressed expression, "You are free to dismiss my advice, but don't get short with me. If you wanted support or comfort, I am more than glad and willing to provide that and more for you, but you said you wanted to know what I thought you should do. Life is just going to get harder for you if you give into outburst like this."

Harry grimaced at the reprimand, but couldn't disagree, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't take things out on you of all people. If you don't mind, could you explain?" He took the chance to return to his seat.

Her expression relaxed to a more amused one, "All is forgiven. I can't stay upset with you, especially since you're so cute when you're flustered. What I meant is that you're making it your responsibility to deal with Tom. You have people to rely on. Even if you're all gung-ho, you don't even have enough information. All you're doing right now is gaining an ulcer. Do try to calm down a little."

Harry mulled her words. She was the more experience and wise of the two. Sometimes he wondered when he would reach a stage that he would be just as reliable. He wanted to shed the part of him that was yelling at him to blow up everything that mattered to Tom. It was a part of him that he found rather alarming.

He leaned back in his chair with his neck bending over the top of the chair. Closing his eyes he saw Sirius again. Sirius was joking around and making obnoxious hand gestures. A sense of nostalgia and regret spilled forth.

A bitter chuckle escaped his lips. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought having a real family could hurt so much.

Teleute was right, it was best not to dwell on it.