One could never ask Izaya to act the way they want him to, whether or not it was a small request of showing kindness towards them, or clashing him against his beliefs for their amusement. Izaya refused to cater to others' desires and instead he was only ever obedient to his own. But there was one thing Izaya yearned for, yet he often chained himself from reaching it.
It was love.
If he ever succumbed to it, it'd consume him from inside out and he'd crave for more, which proved to be difficult when he couldn't draw people to him without them wanting reward out of it. It could also be a sign of weakness, as although Izaya appeared to have a strong front— he knew his heart was brittle. Even the pain from a small matter could send daggers to his heart, and then he was left to put a nonchalant act while he made a note to construct the shattered pieces of what's left of his feelings back whole.
What'd happen if he hit one wrong road, and love tore him apart until he could no longer recognize who Orihara Izaya was?
"But I can be selfish just this once, right?" he whispered lowly.
"Huh?"
He gave Shizuo's wrist a tug, causing Shizuo to fall seated and he took the chance to rest his head on Shizuo's lap, cheek pressed against the thigh. Izaya wished he could've seen the look on Shizuo's face but he didn't want to get hit just yet, so he opted to face the other way.
"…"
Sleepiness was clearly getting to Izaya as he blinked slowly, eyelids drooping and he allowed the warmth from Shizuo to lull him. It felt comforting to be in close contact with another person, despite it being Shizuo. Although he couldn't deny that it was better since it was Shizuo, because Shizuo expected nothing from Izaya, and he was the only one who'd stayed the same when he felt as though the world was turning against him. It was nothing new, but today they'd been picking him apart, causing his flaws to show one after another.
"It seems like everyone is toying with me today. It's not that I mind it-"
Izaya's fingertips brushed across the fabric of Shizuo's pants in absentmindedly drawn circles, sad musing gaze observing the clouds passing by in the sky. The words just spilled out of his mouth when Shinra was on his mind. He wasn't lying when he said he didn't mind if everyone was out to get him, their words laced with hatred coiling around his being and it was the way it'd always been. It wasn't suffocating. It was logical. Izaya hadn't exactly been kind towards them either. And humans loved to thrive on revenge.
"I've known Shinra for years. He was the first one to approach me in middle school, and be so relentless about it too. A lot of people said they wanted to be my friend, but they never put much effort into it. Shinra stuck out so much since he was annoying."
"And he only did it because of Celty, you know? I don't even know why I accepted his offer. He seemed interesting, and it was also a way to shut him up. I didn't really care."
Shinra was the only who'd ever showed him that much attention and with such persistence. He could've roped Izaya into admitting he was Shinra's friend when they met Celty, if Shinra only wanted that. They could've been acquaintances and nothing more— Izaya would stay the way he was, nose stuck in his books and eyes observing the passing figures around him with interest. But Shinra stuck by his side and became a friend he never knew he wanted.
It was hard to admit to the world that Shinra had grown to be a person he couldn't bear to lose, yet Izaya couldn't be dishonest to himself when his emotions stirred madly inside as he felt Shinra starting to slip through his fingers.
"But somehow," The tip of his tongue brushed across his teeth, and Izaya found himself almost having a second thought of uttering his next words, "It bothered me to feel him drifting away. And everyone seemed to be telling me so."
"He looked like he didn't care, so I'd just let him go and find a new friend. Heh. No use keeping a one-sided friendship." Shizuo responded, leaning back against the wall.
At that, Izaya turned around to meet Shizuo's eyes, surprised at the suggestion and he let out a laugh, because of course Shizuo would do such thing while Izaya was left to ponder over and over again about what he should do. The differences between them never failed to be amusing, which was why Shizuo aroused his curiosity so much.
"Your way of thinking is simple as always."
"It must be nice to barely care like that. Like a prehistoric human being."
Izaya grinned, catching Shizuo's fist in his palm just in time it came in his way, his reflex astounding as always. He could make out a few veins popping on Shizuo's forehead when his irritated face came into view, hovering Izaya's and Izaya didn't find it intimidating at all while he unfolded Shizuo's curled fingers carelessly.
"Aah? Get off of me." Shizuo attempted to lift his leg to shake Izaya off but Izaya immediately countered the action, rolling towards Shizuo's abdomen.
"I don't want to."
"Since we can be different today, you're not allowed to treat me like you always do. That means no violence, to put it simply!"
Izaya watched as Shizuo's face contorted in an almost grimace, silence washing over him and he took a minute before replying, expression softening by the slightest.
"…I did say that."
"You need to be different too."
Izaya knew what Shizuo meant.
He was still so guarded.
Izaya couldn't bring himself to tell Shizuo how it hurt, how he was feeling, and instead only brought forth the ones he'd heavily sugarcoated as to not lose to himself. Superior was what he should feel for appearing tough but for once, he hated this pride. It was hard to admit that he, too, wanted to receive affection and truly be himself, stripped of all the walls he'd put up over the years.
"You can't hide like a coward that you are."
It was then that Shizuo's fingertips brushed across his skin, without any violence in them that used to send adrenaline pumping through his veins and instead there was only warmth this time. It felt nostalgic and made him wonder of the last time someone touched him that way, and meant it. His eyes swept over Shizuo to find no anger in those eyes, his tongue bereft of speech to contradict Shizuo's words.
Why couldn't he say anything?
Izaya's angled his head closer to Shizuo, brows knitted and he hid, like the coward Shizuo said he was. He hid the look of grief on his face, nudging his nose into Shizuo's shirt and fingers curling around Shizuo's hand which fingers he was just playing with a moment ago. His eyes fluttered shut and Izaya no longer uttered a word since then.
Shizuo wasn't supposed to look that way, with such gentleness etched on his face, especially towards Izaya.
He wasn't supposed to read Izaya like he only needed a scan over Izaya's facial features and there were words describing his whole life.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
"He fell asleep."
Shizuo rubbed at the back of his head, pursing his lips.
It was strange to him, since no one was ever that daring as to use him as a pillow before -perhaps Kasuka when they were younger- but he'd seen Izaya doing so with Kadota countless times before for an afternoon nap. Kadota didn't seem to mind it. But Shizuo wasn't used to this. What more— it was his enemy. That only added more complexity and Shizuo didn't know what to make of it.
"Am I supposed to stay here?"
Shizuo reached a hand into his pocket, pulling his phone out and opening it with a flick of his wrist, he briefly wondered if he should notify Shinra and Kadota of Izaya's location. Shinra's voice was beginning to irk him after about half an hour of hearing the same thing over and over again.
"Orihara-kun!"
There it was again. Gritting his teeth, Shizuo picked up an empty can nearby before chucking it towards the direction of Shinra's voice. This time came a yelp and Kadota's worried voice asking if Shinra was alright.
"Finally, some peace,"Shizuo sighed inwardly and switched the button hovering contacts to inbox instead. Perhaps he could tell those two later, when he could no longer stand Izaya's presence. Although Shizuo enjoyed silence, it was getting quite boring so he decided to check up on his friend.
[New message to Celty] Where are you?
Sure enough, Celty was quick at texting and a reply came almost immediately.
[Incoming text: Celty] Shizuo! I'm arranging presents on the table. There are so many… Wait! Shouldn't you be in school?
[Reply to Celty] The teacher is absent. I'm still at school.
[Reply to Celty] Presents?
[Incoming text: Celty] I didn't say anything about presents! W-what presents?
Shizuo quirked a brow at Celty's odd behavior. Why would Celty be arranging presents today? She'd never told him about any party she was working on, and Celty always told him everything. And even though Shizuo couldn't remember when Shinra birthday was, he was sure it wouldn't be on the same day as Izaya's.
[Incoming text: Kasuka] Nii-san, are we going to the ice-cream shop after school?
[Reply to Kasuka] Let's go tomorrow. I have something to do today, I'm sorry.
[Reply to Celty] Something's going on. Is it for Izaya's birthday?
[Incoming text: Celty] …
[Incoming text: Celty] How did you know it was his birthday?
[Reply to Celty] Kadota told me.
[Reply to Celty] Shinra's been a jerk.
[Incoming text: Celty] Eh!?
[Reply to Celty] You didn't know?
[Incoming text: Celty] No, no. I didn't know. What did he do? I'm going to teach him a lesson when he gets back.
[Reply to Celty] This is so sketchy.
[Reply to Celty] He was such a bastard the whole day. But you said this party is for Izaya… Is this some kind of a sick joke he's doing?
[Reply to Celty] Ah, anyway, Izaya's with me right now.
[Reply to Celty] Celty?
[Incoming text: Celty] I'm sorry. I had to check the news to see if the world was ending when you said Izaya was with you.
[Incoming text: Celty] He didn't say anything about this. I can't believe he'd do that. (T△T) I'm so disappointed in him…
[Incoming text: Celty] Shinra just called me to say he's coming home soon.
[Reply to Celty] Don't tell him anything.
[Incoming text: Celty] You got it.
"I wish you'd sleep forever." Shizuo mumbled, gaze now fixated on Izaya's sleeping face.
There was the feeling of liquid on his skin and he shifted his hand to find it smeared with the blood from Izaya's wound. It appeared that he didn't do a good job with the makeshift bandage but Shizuo couldn't be bothered when Izaya stirred for a moment, but those crimson eyes didn't open, and -knowing Izaya was a light sleeper- Shizuo was thankful for that.
As much as Shizuo wanted Izaya to stop using him as a resting station, it'd do Izaya good to get some rest, and be quiet for once. He himself was growing sleepy.
Izaya proved to be much more vulnerable than he'd thought. Shizuo should've found this information to be useful, considering he'd been searching for ways to put Izaya down— but that wasn't the case. To him, it is immoral to torment someone with such sorrow, especially since emotions are something strong that could affect a person's life greatly. To this day, he still felt pain from the sight of people cowering from his strength, and they called him a monster even when he was just going about with his day. It'd be much easier to break someone's bones and send them to a hospital. That ought to teach them a lesson before meddling in his business.
Broken bones will heal but broken hearts often not.
Bzz.
Bzz.
Bzz.
Shizuo emitted a groan, opening his eyes to see the sky turning blood orange -when did he drift to sleep and for how long?- and it took him awhile to notice that it was his phone vibrating in his pocket that woke him up. He'd completely forgotten that he'd put it on vibrate to have Izaya stay asleep.
"Hello?"
"Hey, I've been searching everywhere for Orihara-kun! And you disappeared too! Wher-"
Shinra's voice came booming through the speaker as soon as he accepted the call. It was a mistake. Shizuo should've known from experience that he should check first before picking up. Several times before he'd picked up and the caller turned out to be Izaya, much to Shizuo's dismay.
Beep.
It wasn't a mistake, however, that he hung up on Shinra.
Bzz.
Another call came and Shizuo decided to check this time, the name appearing on the screen was 'Kadota'.
"Shizuo?"
"Oh, it's really you." he sighed in relief when he heard Kadota's voice, while Shinra in the background was complaining that Shizuo ended his call but not Kadota's.
"Have you seen Izaya?"
"He's with me."
"He's not dead, is he?" Shinra asked meekly.
"He is."
The two on the other line gasped and then it turned so silent Shizuo could've heard a pin drop. He didn't notice Izaya who had just woken up from the commotion, as Izaya kept quiet, blinking sleepily and observing Shizuo.
"I lied."
"Oh, thank God. Can you bring him to Shinra's house?"
"Why'd I do that?"
"Listen, Shizuo, we didn't mean for things to go this way…" Kadota began to explain and Shizuo finally understood the situation. Shinra's plan had spiraled out of control. Shizuo never had someone doing a birthday prank such as this for him but he was sure it wasn't supposed to go this way. People should be happy on their birthday, not gloomy.
In Shizuo's opinion, the plan should've been kept between those who were close to Izaya. Although Izaya had stated that he didn't care for the others but Shinra, he believed that was what drove Izaya to the edge. It was the way he'd felt after fighting a bunch of gangs just to see Izaya's face, which was the accompanying yet biggest piece to throw him into the darkness.
"We'll see you there."
Kadota ended the call with a hurried 'need to get the cake' before Shizuo could reply. Shizuo let his gaze linger on the screen, frown painted on his lips, and he flipped the phone shut with a sigh.
"To see Shizu-chan's face the first thing upon waking up is unusual," Izaya laughed, finally speaking up, "Who were you talking to?"
Turning his head to meet Izaya's eyes, he was surprised that he hadn't realized that Izaya was awake. He didn't think Izaya could handle a minute without saying anything. The answer to Izaya's question was at the tip of his tongue, but Shizuo chose something else to say, one which made those crimson eyes widened as it took Izaya off guard, before they finally relaxed and Izaya had the faintest smile on but Shizuo managed to catch it anyway.
"Happy birthday."
.
.
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Note: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I changed the summary for this story so I hope it's better now... it was probably too simple before. Ah, if you want me to reply to your comment/thoughts regarding a chapter, please PM me and say so and I'll get back to you every time you leave a review, or you can PM me, or review and PM me (both). Up to you! Anyway, thank you for all the support and for reading the story!
